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// Entry Four: Spike 
// Story: Record of Events 
// by BiniBean 
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Entry Four:

I started my own private investigations this morning. I couldn't exactly go around accusing Blueblood of being a traitor to the crown without evidence. No pony would believe me, even if I am the Princess of the sun, on the weak evidence that my dead faithful student told me in a letter from the afterlife. Which, I am still doubtful is actually happening.

They would think I am mad. That, if Blueblood was planning to overthrow me, he had the right idea to do so if it seemed I have been losing my sanity.

I can not allow the nobility to know what is happening. Even the good ones are corrupt. The price and influence of politics do not care about the needs of the many. Only a few. Or the one in Nobels focused on their ridiculous egos.

So like many things, I must keep them a secret.

Today, I went to visit Spike. I couldn't help but wonder if Twilight was watching me from above, or as "she" claimed, was watching me from her new home in a void of darkness. I asked him small questions, useless questions, vague questions about his former life. 

Have you been to Ponyville recently?

Have you spoken to any of the other elements?

Did you want to try to connect with them?

The answers I received were 'no', 'no' and one more cold 'no.'

He doesn't say much of anything. He hasn't said more than one sentence or small quick answers to me since the funeral. He completely avoids Luna. I think he only talks to me because I was her teacher. He feels there is an obligation for him to speak to me because I made the test that made Twilight hatch Spike. He won't talk to Luna because he doesn't feel in debt to her.

Luna had enough of him around lunch. We were all sitting down to have a meal. I had to order him to come to lunch with the threat I wouldn't bring food to his room today. Harsh? Probably. But he can't go on like this. I understand the heartbreak and devastation of losing someone close but you must get over it. You must live on.

Luna asked him a question. It was obvious they were both uncomfortable with the tension in the room.

"Are you recovering well, Spike?"

He ignored her.

She let out a deep angry sigh and started to be her blunt self.

"You need to get over her. She is dead."

Spike looked up to her, knowing full well who she was talking about. His face contorted to pure fury.

"How dare you. You monster." 

The last month has made him sour, rude, harsh, angry at the world and the ponies in it. I had become used to the harsh words escaping his mouth, his tone. He tried to be nice at first, to look at the world as if it was just an accident he could have prevented if he was just there. But then the news of the Weathermaster came out. He grew bitter at all pegasi. He even yelled at Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. That is when he was sent to Canterlot.

That was two days after the funeral.

Luna, who is still emotionally wounded from what she did and who she became as Nightmare Moon, quickly jumped up in unrestrained rage. She yelled and cursed at him about his behaviour. Yelling at him about the losses we suffered, yet we were still here. As immortal beings. Still having to watch everyone and everypony die away as we were forced to live on.

They argued and yelled. I couldn't sit there anymore as they talked themselves in the same arguments over and over. Eventually, it became a contest to those who lost more in their life.

At that moment, I was actually hoping for a letter from Twilight. Just to make them shut up at the sight of the black fire and letters. Just to make them stop yelling. To make the pounding in my mind dull down at least for a moment. All this stress is hurting me.

I am so sick of all this.

But a letter never came, so I silently made an excuse I had to do Solar Court. Which wasn't exactly a lie, I did. An hour from then but there were many small and big issues in Equestria ponies came to me to help them with so I started the court early.

I am now waiting as I write this for another letter.

I haven't found anything to prove these are fake letters. They aren't being sent from inside Equestria.

Tomorrow's another day.

I have an investigation to continue.


-Princess Celestia