"Ah ain't opposed to the idea, Rares. But what Ah gotta know is, why did you, of all ponies, wanted to go to a Food Wagon meet."
Applejack gave her friend a close look as the two mares walked into the Ponyville town square on a glorious Saturday morning, the earth pony mare hauling a wagonload of apples and a pair of small butts of cider.
"Darling, what you simply haven't considered is that this is one of the premier trends in Equestria." The fashionista gave her mane a toss, smiling as she did. "The Food Wagon trend isn't just a passing fad. It allows ponies with talent but little capital to establish their own restaurant to get their hooves in the door and show off their talents. And it is there where one can find the new and emerging flavors and excellence in modern cuisine." She sighed, her smile deflating somewhat. "That, and, since it was I who convinced Mayor Mare to allow the food wagons to set up here every other Saturday, I feel responsible...no,...compelled to see just how it turns out."
"Right." Applejack felt her eyebrow raise almost unconsciously, following an intuition. "And Ah suppose that the interests of influencers...such as, say, Trenderhoof," Applejack was not disappointed as Rarity nearly tripped at the mention of the name, "...seeking out new trends in Equestria are completely absent from your mind?" Ah gotta remember to give Apple Bloom a thank you for passing on Sweetie Belle's gossip, the earth pony mare thought to herself, relishing the shock on her friend's face.
"Of course not!" Rarity recoiled in practiced shock, though the blush on her face gave lie to her feelings. "Why, I could care less about what some puffed up, self important, wildly influential, handsome..." She trailed off momentarily, lagging behind Applejack for a minute, taking a moment to wipe the drool from her mouth. "Anyway", she continued, as if nothing had happened, "my personal feelings aside, I would like to see how the event goes off, if for nothing else, than I would like to make sure it is nothing short of a triumph."
"Ah can understand that, Rares." Applejack nodded, negotiating the corner with the wagon, and smiling to herself. "And Ah want to make sure it's a success too, just like..." Applejack's voice trailed off as Ponyville town square came fully into view, packed to the gills with Food Carts of every size and description, ranging from wheeled, humble charcoal grills and fold out tables for condiments to a couple full blown monstrosities nearly the size of small buildings, complete with folding awnings to provide diners with shade. Between the carts, hordes of ponies thronged, either waiting in line for their orders, cheerfully munching on food, or carrying on conversations with friends and relations. There were many ponies, Applejack realized, that she didn't know on sight, and she reasoned they must be from out of towners attracted to the spectacle.
And the smells. The wind shifted, coming in off the Everfree Forest, and brought with it smells of everything that was being steamed, grilled, broiled, baked, sautéed, braised, fricasseed, spit roasted, or otherwise cooked by applying heat to food. Exotic spices, too numerous and tantalizing to name competed with the aromas of more familiar cooking, and her stomach let her know in no uncertain terms that she should immediately sample some of the wares.
The two mares stopped to take in the spectacle before Applejack turned back to Rarity. "Well sugarcube, Ah can be pretty sure this counts as a resounding success."
A fey light lit Rarity's eyes as she smiled, her expression just enough on the side of propriety to keep from being described as "Smug". "Isn't it though? Come on! Let's grab lunch. My treat!"
Applejack rolled her eyes. "You're on, but nothin' too fancy, at least for the moment." She nodded over toward a nearby cart, where ponies were coming away with greasy brown paper sacks that appeared to be filled with oatburgers and fried pickles. "This looks promisin'. Ah ain't had fried pickles in ages!"
⚜⚜⚜
"Thanks for coming to Blue's Burgers! Come back soon!" Concord passed a greasy bag over to the nearest set of customers before he called back over his shoulder. "How's that order with the two Number Fours coming, boss?"
For his part, Blueblood had never quite known stress just like this. The orders had immediately started coming a few short minutes after he and Concord had started setting up their hastily painted, second-hoof food cart. Over the last day or so, with the help of Concord and the castle kitchen staff, Blueblood had managed to learn how to fry oatburgers passably enough to serve to other ponies, and he'd managed to handle a chef's knife well enough that he could slice onions and tomatoes with out being a danger to himself and others. Concord's family recipe for deep fried pickle bits had been a masterstroke addition, with the battered briny morsels keeping ponies coming back for more, though Blueblood still regarded the deep fryer with no small measure of trepidation, with a burn on his right forehoof having reached the "Nearly Unstoppable Itching" stage of healing.
But what was really driving his blood pressure higher was the constant rush of orders. It was one thing to fry up oatburgers and onions for himself, Concord, and, once they'd stopped laughing and had sworn to the strictest confidence, Fancy Pants. Now, there were ponies waiting on him, and, given the fact that no sane pony would recognize him in a greasy apron and his blonde mane in a paper hat covered by a net, there was no social pressure to just let him go at his own pace. As it was, he was just keeping up with orders, but only at the low, low cost of his Sanity, Composure, and his general sense of goodness toward everypony. And, to top it off, he hadn't had a chance to get a thing to eat for himself since breakfast.
Still, he had to put on a good front for Concord and any other ponies who might be watching. He mustered a smile for Concord. "Just coming off the grill now. How's the line looking?"
"Pretty good, boss. Looks like we're through the worst of the lunch rush." Concord bustled over and carefully lifted a basket of pickle chips out of the fry oil, giving them a shake. "Gotta keep these coming, at least."
"I'd be the first to admit, Concord, your recipe's excellent." Blueblood managed to float a chip from the basket, shook it a few times, and then popped it into his mouth. "Your grandmother must have been a fine cook."
"One of Cloudsdale's finest. Whoop! Here we go." Concord turned back to the order line and ducked his head out of the window. "Welcome to Blue's Burgers, can I take your...Miss Applejack! Miss Rarity! Welcome!"
Behind him, Blueblood nearly fumbled the spatula in his magic field, the burger he was assembling nearly winding on the floor of the wagon.
⚜⚜⚜
Since Applejack seemed to be frozen with a look of slack jawed amazement, it fell to Rarity to carry the conversational torch. "Mister Concord? What are you doing here?" She raised an eyebrow at the pegasus, her expression guarded. "Did that...that...scoundrel of a master fire you?"
"No, no, I'm still working for him. More or less."
Blueblood decided that this was the moment to bring his newly completed order to the next window. "Order up! Two number fours combos, with extra mayo on one, hold the onions on the other!"
A pair of ponies approached to take their order, which Blueblood thanked them for, and then turned back to the two Element Bearers. "Ah, Miss Rarity. Good afternoon. What can we get for you?"
Blueblood took the full minute of stunned silence by both mares to properly appreciate the expression on Rarity's beautiful features. The way her mouth hung agape, how her right eyelid twitched nervously, and, despite her indigo mane being moments ago perfectly set, at least one lock of hair had sprung out of alignment.
Applejack was the first to recover, shaking off her earlier shock at seeing Concord, though she was still blushing furiously. "Yer Highness? What are you doin' flippin' oat burgers?" She glanced around, as if looking for hidden cameras. "This ain't one of your Auntie's Practical Jokes, is it?"
Solemnly, Blueblood took off his paper hat and held it to his chest, the effect ruined somewhat by his hair and hat being somewhat rumpled in the process. "Kind mare, unfortunately, no, though one could see how that might be the case. As was pointed out to me recently, I have vanishingly small knowledge of how the majority of Equestrians live. I'm simply broadening my horizons, so to speak." He replaced the hat on his head and gave the two mares a smile, trying to muster more confidence than he was feeling. "So far, it has been rather...enlightening."
While he was talking, Rarity seemed to get a measure of herself, smoothing her mane out and managing to close her mouth. Her eyes, however, had narrowed dangerously, and she was muttering under her breath. "Enlightening, he says..." before trailing off into a low rumble of discontent.
Concord cleared his throat. "What can I get you ladies?"
Applejack considered the menu for a moment. "Ah'll have the haycon barbecue burger with a side of pickle bits. Rares?"
Rarity's grumbling trailed off as her eyes snapped from Blueblood to the menu and back. "Tell me, Your Highness', she said dripping acid. "How long have you had an interest in being a fry cook?"
Blueblood bristled briefly, but smoothed it over. Temper, old colt. She's smart, and probably knows this is just an attempt to gain her favor. Tell her the truth. "For a while, actually." Blueblood answered, honestly. "Though my family maintains investments in various culinary entities, I'd always been fascinated by how one manages to transform base ingredients into something delicious."
Rarity raised one delicate indigo eyebrow. "So, this has nothing to do with how I called you an insufferable pig and chewed your ear off two weeks ago?"
Applejack caught Concord's eye and casually nodded to the side of the wagon. The pegasus, sensing danger, quietly retreated from the windows, lest he wind up between an irate unicorn mare and the subject of her ire. Blueblood, for his part, decided to continue his honest streak. "I would be lying if I didn't say that your words caused me to view my interest in a new light. That said, this is just a happy coincidence."
A humorless smirk played across Rarity's features. "So, you consider yourself a cook now, do you?"
Blueblood's own expression faltered. "Well...I'm not perfect, but I'm not bad."
"Right." Rarity glanced over at the menu, then turned back to Blueblood. "I'll have a yin-yang animal style four by four on a raft, dragged through the garden, and make it cry. And a small side of fried pickles." Into the stunned silence, Rarity gave Blueblood a grim smile. "Did you get all that, your highness."
Blueblood's eyes flickered back and forth for a second, he opened his mouth, closed it, and then asked "White, whole wheat, or sourdough for your toast, Miss?"
"Sourdough."
Blueblood still looked a little unsure of himself, but he nodded. "Sounds good. Have it out in a jiffy."
Rarity smiled and nudged Applejack to one side. "We'll be over here. Thank you, sir."
Sputtering, once they were out of obvious earshot of the two stallions, Applejack rounded on her friend. "Where on Equestria did you learn all that, Rares?"
Rarity tossed her mane, looking pleased with herself. "My grandfather is a short order cook, Applejack. I spent most of my earliest years in his kitchen while mother and father were busy working, and he taught me much of what to look for."
Applejack cast a glance back over at the food wagon, her expression sympathetic. "Don't you think you're being a little hard on him? He might be genuinely tryin' ta better himself."
"Well, he wouldn't have to do very much to improve on what's gone before." Rarity sighed. "Applejack, you can't understand what it's like. I suppose..." The pale unicorn slumped in on herself, somewhat self aware under the earth pony mare's reproachful gaze. "If I'm being honest, darling, I suppose I only have myself to blame. I'd seen him in the society pages and the magazines and, I suppose, I might have have, in my own teensy little way, built him into some sort of paragon of masculine vritue."
"Ah always told you those novels would rot your mind, Rares." Applejack quipped, unable to restrain herself.
"HOW DID YO-" Rarity coughed into one hoof and composed herself. "You know Applejack, it's entirely possible that my little sister should learn to keep her mouth shut around your little sister."
Applejack smiled. "Jus' doin' all Ah can to live up to the element of Honesty. But no fair dodgin' the subject." She put a hoof on Rarity's shoulder. "Speakin' of bein honest, Ah gotta ask: Are you more angry with him fer how he treated you at the Gala, or with yerself for what you expected outta him?"
"I...well, I suppose..." Rarity sighed again. "I suppose the latter, rather than the former. Although", Rarity said, with a dark look at the food wagon. "A gentlestallion should really treat a lady better than that. He was a positive boor."
"Well, Ah can't deny that." Applejack patted Rarity on her shoulder again. "An' Ah suppose he might have done the same for you too, come to think of it."
Rarity shot her friend a sharp, quizzical look. "Whatever do you mean, dear?"
Applejack shrugged, gesturing over towards the wagon again, where the stallion in question was just visible assembling a burger in the back of the wagon. "Well, like ya said, he's an extremely eligible and visible single stallion, and he's not too bad to look at too. He's gotta be beatin' fillies off with sticks at every available social function there is." Applejack winced slightly. "Ah don't mean no offense when Ah say this, sugarcube, but you're a very talented fashion designer from a small town. But all he might'a seen is a mare desperate to better he social standin' by marryin' into some highfalutin' high society family."
Rarity cocked her head to one side, her eyes wide. "Oh...Oh dear Celestia! I...well, I must have looked like a fool." She straightened up, putting steel into her spine, wearing an expression Applejack associated only with the most dire of fashion emergencies. "I should apologize for my behavior! At once!" She turned back to the wagon, striding over with her head high, her tail hiked, and Applejack in tow. "He may have been rude, but I shall be the bigger mare!"
Applejack sighed. "And then maybe you'll apologize for launchin' him halfway across the town into Sugarcube Corner?"
Rarity gave her friend a withering stare. "Of course not!" She kept striding forward. "At least, not right away. It would hardly do for a lady to be beholden to a gentlecolt of any stature."
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Oh, of course. How could Ah ferget?"
By the time they got back to the food wagon, Blueblood was just sticking his head out the Order Ready window. "Order Up! I have one haycon barbecue burger and large pickle bits!"
Applejack snagged the greasy brown bag from Blueblood's magical aura. "Thank ya kindly, Yer Highness." She turned to Rarity, who, despite her earlier display of courage, was now looking away and fussing with her mane, distracted. Applejack nudged the unicorn mare with her hoof, causing Rarity to start.
"Prince Blueblood." Rarity began, haltingly. "I...I would just like to say-"
"Here you go, Miss. One half well done, half rare, four patties fried in mustard, with extra cheese, fried onions, and spread, on toast with everything and extra onions." Blueblood nodded, his expression frazzled but satisfied. "Oh, and small pickle bits."
He floated the bag of greasy food over to Rarity, who absently took it with her own magical aura, wearing an expression of baffled incredulity that Blueblood, Concord, and Applejack would remember for the rest of their days.
Rarity, staring in openmouthed surprise as her train of thought derailed and went careening through her mental countryside, glanced between the bag she held in her aura and Blueblood. "I...you...I'm...WHAT?!"
Blueblood shrugged absently. "I know that there are some differing definitions on Animal Style burgers, whether it means the patty is just fried in mustard or if it comes with the extra spread, fried onions, and cheese, but I preferred to err on the side of caution in this case." He gave her a nod. "I know that my previous attempts to apologize for my rude and boorish behavior were, understandably, rebuffed, but as a tangible token of my apologies for poor, ungentlestallionly behavior, please accept this meal on the house, as it were."
Rarity stared, then floated the monstrous quadruple burger with everything on it out of the bag, as well as the small tray of pickle bits. "I...I don't know what to say." She trailed off, staring at the greasy, artery clogging goodness she held in her aura, before Applejack swatted her with her tail.
"Except 'Thank You'." Rarity added in a rush, blushing. "I must admit, I did not expect you to get this right."
"Well," Blueblood said, shaking his head self depricatingly, "Don't thank me until you've tasted it. It might not be entirely done correctly." He nodded. "Until next time, my lady."
Applejack was concerned by the change in mood her friend had undergone in the last few minutes, swinging from righteous indignation to abashed chagrin. What worried her more, however, was that Rarity seemed to float from Blueblood's words, almost like the burger she held in her aura did. Her voice, too, had that sort of dreamy quality that Applejack had learned to associate with drama, creative outbursts, and taffeta.
"Of course, kind sir. We shall speak, anon."
And with that, she turned, and Applejack followed, more out of a sense of intense curiosity. "Rares? What was that?"
Rarity turned and regarded her friend as if seeing her for the first time. "Oh! He managed to get it right!" Rarity waved the burger in her aura before Applejack, running the very real risk of splattering the earth pony with grease and errant gobs of special sauce as they made their way back to Applejack's cart. "I don't know how in Celestia's Flaming Fetlocks he knew, but he got my order right!" Rarity took a bite out of the floating burger, and moaned in obvious pleasure. "Oh, Luna's Luminous Locks, he can cook!"
Over the years of their acquaintance, Applejack had become a keen observer of her friends. Rarity tended to display the appetite of a particularly anorexic hummingbird, never partaking in anything much heavier than an egg white omlette or a wedge salad on any of the occasions that they had eaten together at a restaurant. To Applejack's shock and amazement, however, Rarity began devouring the burger with all the zest and gusto of a ravenous timberwolf into a deadfallen oak. Judging by the sounds of Rarity's obvious pleasure, Applejack reasoned the unicorn would react in much the same way if somepony tried to sample a piece of the enormous oatburger that hung before her.
For her own part, Applejack fished her burger out of the sack and took a bite. Instantly, her tastebuds were treated to the hearty oat patty, the zesty part sweet, part spicy tang of barbecue sauce, the rich haycon and all carried on a raft of sharp cheese that melted and bound the whole affair together. Nodding in appreciation, Applejack spoke through a full mouth. "Ah'll say he can."
Rarity turned watering eyes over to her friend, her mouth full of burger. "Mmmphofml mrrglmlmfmfg! Hrmmlfffpfthl blglf!" She paused, gesturing to her throat, her face turning red.
Applejack thumped Rarity on the back with a hoof, and the unicorn managed to swallow the large mouthful of burger that had been lodged in her throat. "Ah...thank you, darling. It's quite un-ladylike to choke."