Chapter 14
Time Turner disembarked from the train in time to see himself board a few cars down. His past self was on his way to Canterlot to inform the princess of the recent chase involving Twilight. She had been very understanding and sent a rather concise letter to her pupil right away.
The stallion thought it might be a good idea to jump back in time so Conrad wouldn't miss him, but thought better of it. The poor human had been so traumatized since he came to Equestria that he needed all the time away from ponies he could get.
Heading into the marketplace, Turner purchased enough food to last a few days, and then made his way to Carousel Boutique. The bell chimed to announce his entry as he opened the door.
"Coming!" Rarity sang, "Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique!"
Turner smiled at the alabaster unicorn. "Afternoon, Rarity. I've come here to ask you about a very important job."
"Well, you've come to the right place, darling," said Rarity as she levitated a tape measure, "Just let me grab your measurements real quick and I'll--"
"Ah-ah, no, it's not for me," Turner interrupted, "It's for someone else. But, before I tell you who, you have to Pinkie promise you won't tell anypony."
The mare tilted her head. "Why ever not, dear?"
Turner explained that he was hiding the human from the other day and that he needed to keep him hidden to prevent Lyra from harming him.
Rarity seemed to understand, and agreed not to tell anypony, and even offered to do the clothes for free in return for getting to design outfits for an exotic being.
"Thank you for understanding," Turner said, "I'll speak with Conrad and let him know you're coming by. When is a good time for you?"
"Tomorrow," said Rarity, "I have an order to fill today, so I won't be able to visit today. I do hope the poor dear's luck turns around. I simply can't imagine what being chased by everypony in town must have been like." She giggled coyly to herself. "Not that I would mind being pursued by a hoard of admires, of course."
Turner nodded. "Yes. Well, I'd better be going then. I know Conrad's in no condition to be going to the party Pinkie was trying to get him to, but I think that if I can introduce him to one pony at a time, he may get over his fears."
"Fears?" Rarity asked, "Did the other day's events really scar him so bad that he can't show his face in public?"
"It's not that," said Turner, trying to think of a way to explain this, "What can I say? You see, he's not from this world. And, well, he's actually afraid of ponies, as strange as that sounds."
The unicorn pursed her lips. "I think I see your point. We must seem so alien to him."
Turner chuckled. "Yes, something like that. Anyway, I'll see you around. Thank you so much for your help."
Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. "Oh, not at all, dear. Always glad to help a friend in need. Now, I'm off to Sugarcube Corner to meet with Pinkie Pie. Say hello to Conrad for me."
"Will do."
As Turner left Carousel Boutique, he thought about who he should invite to see his friend first. He remembered the human's accusations towards Fluttershy, and figured she would be the best one to start with. After all, if Conrad could see she wasn't as bad as he thought, it would likely help him warm up to other ponies more easily. And maybe, just maybe, his phobia could be cured.
Conrad finished sweeping and peeked outside, making sure nopony was around before he sneaked out and got his clothes off the line. Feeling better now that he and his clothes were clean again, as well as the dust being out of the house, he tried to think of something to do while waiting for Turner to get back.
A news report on the radio mentioned a hairless bipedal creature riding a pony earlier that resembled a diamond dog, if diamond dogs weren't ugly. Conrad tried to take that as a compliment, but wondered just what kind of dog stood up on two legs and looked that ugly? If they were anything like timber wolves, he didn't want to meet one.
After the news report ended, the DJ, somepony named P0n-3, put on a techno song about sewing dresses. These ponies have weird taste in music, Conrad thought, but had to admit the song was catchy.
Deciding he couldn't stand to stay indoors any longer, Conrad switched off the radio and stepped outside. If these woods had a house in them, and it was near town, then it should be safe to take a walk in. A short walk to stretch his legs should be fine.
Conrad took in a deep breath and basked in the ambiance of the forest. The place he was in resembled the same lush glen he woke up in when he first arrived in Equestria, and he wondered if maybe, just maybe, he could go around the next bend and find his way home.
Taking a chance, he did just that, but instead of finding his home town, he stepped onto another dirt road and was knocked over by a trotting pegasus.
"Ow!" said the soft, gentle voice of the yellow pegasus he bumped into, "Watch where you're going, will you!"
Conrad recognized Fluttershy immediately. She certainly didn't sound like the gentle pony Turner made her out to be. She was glaring death at him, and her tone sounded more like a schoolyard bully than a sweet innocent mare who took care of animals.
The human froze up, eyes locked on Fluttershy. She scowled at him and stepped forward. "Well, aren't you going to say you're sorry?"
"I... I..." Conrad choked on his words.
Fluttershy bared her teeth. "You don't apologize? I penalize!"
"W-what?" Before Conrad could make sense of the sudden rhyming, he saw Fluttershy lunge forward at him.
She grabbed his shirt in her mouth by the collar, and pulled him up. With seemingly unnatural strength, the pegasus began to spin him around and around. Before the human could puke on her, she let go and sent him flying and screaming away.
Conrad abruptly went silent as he crashed into a very well-placed pile of hay. He climbed out and felt something funny with his foot. Before he could check, the answer was thrown in his face as his missing shoe caught up with him and landed on his head.
He climbed out of the hay and put his shoe back on. His eye twitched as his mind tried to process what had just happened. Either Fluttershy hates humans, or Turner was dead wrong about her. The human got back to his feet and brushed the hay out of his clothes and hair. "Great, I probably smell delicious again."
"Eeeeyup."
Conrad's hair stood on end as Big Macintosh came out of nowhere from behind him and licked the back of his neck. Oh no... Suddenly, it dawned on him: the after-lying effects of Twilight's spell, the cuddling at night, the vague definition of "adoption." No... No. No. No!
"FUCK NO!" Conrad didn't give the stallion a chance to even blink. He took off running towards the barn and climbed up into the loft and out the window onto the roof. As Big Mac searched inside the barn for him, the human leaped off the roof and used another bale of hay to soften and muffle his landing.
"Conrad! Come back!" Big Mac called, tearing the barn up in search of his pet human.
Conrad ducked behind the house in time to avoid a flying piece of wood that nearly nailed him as the side of the barn exploded, revealing a bloodshot Big Mac breathing like an enraged bull.
"Conrad! Don't run from me too! Ah wanna help ya!"
The human's heart was beating like a jackhammer in his chest. Had he been breathing any harder, he would have been mistaken for an air bender. Looking in the distance, Conrad saw Turner coming up the road looking panicked.
Big Macintosh ran into the orchard in blind desperation, giving Conrad a chance to run and meet Turner at the fence.
"Turner! Big Mac's gone crazy!" Conrad panted.
"I was afraid this would happen," said Turner, "The effects of the want-it-need-it spell were never fully lifted. Having you around pacified them, but with you gone, the spell has taken full hold of him again. I think it would explain Lyra suddenly becoming so uncontrollable."
"What do we do?" Conrad hid behind Turner in case Mac saw them.
"Get on."
Conrad obeyed and Turner took off at a full gallop. "Now then," he called back, "You mind telling me why you weren't at the house?"
"I just went for a walk and I ran into Fluttershy," Conrad shouted over Turner's hoof falls, "She wasn't nice at all! She freaking threw me right into the farm, and then Big Mac started molesting me!" He could feel Turner shudder in disgust under him.
"Well, what matters is we get you home and hidden," said Turner, "Honestly, with Big Mac and Lyra fully enchanted and on the war path, I don't see how this day could possibly get any worse!"