Equestria Hurls

by shallow15


Saturday -- Lawndale

DEGA STREET
LAWNDALE, MD
SATURDAY, JUNE 10, 2000

Dega Street was the closest thing you could find to a “bohemian district” in the suburban town of Lawndale. Specialty shops, boutiques, what could laughably be called nightclubs, bars and anything else that wouldn’t be considered “standard” by the rest of the community wound up here. There were even a couple of galleries. Not great galleries, but galleries nonetheless. A little island of “safe” non-conformity in the wider bland conformist streets of the town.

Nathan walked down Dega Street, looking resplendent in his everyday wear: a vintage pair of gray pinstriped trousers, suspenders, a pair of highly polished wingtip shoes, hand painted tie in a floral theme, and a lightly starched and pressed yellow button down shirt. All were circa 1948, purchases made from thrift stores, estate sales, and (much to his chagrin, let’s be clear about that) a couple of places online. His hair was pomaded to the point of nearly being shellacked into place, and it was, for all its outdatedness in the dawn of the 21st Century, a look that suited him. More than one person complemented him as he walked and he took them in stride.

He loved the aesthetics of Post-War Americana and had devoted his sense of style to them. Sure, he’d be the first to admit that era wasn’t the greatest in terms of social issues, but there was a sense of class and standards which you just didn’t get in this post-grunge, Gen X, “let’s wear sneakers to a restaurant” world he considered himself unlucky enough to live in. But, he’d found people who appreciated retro just as much as he did, and while the gang was small, they took it seriously. Unlike a lot of those poseurs who only got into the look and sound of the era because they had watched the dance sequence from “The Mask” eight thousand times and thought they got it. Nathan had tossed his Royal Crown Revue CDs in the trash after that incident. (As much as he hated it, the new wave of swing bands just didn’t put their stuff out on vinyl these days thanks to the record companies. Ugh.)

He rounded the corner and entered Christy’s Closet, his go-to place for new threads and accessories. He greeted the clerk at the counter, (everybody knew him there), and began looking over the racks. He wasn’t looking for anything in particular, just seeing what was there. He thumbed through the racks of shirts, ties, pants, and suits and didn’t really find anything that jumped out at him. He either owned most of it already or it was outside his particular era of taste. He took a brief glance at the women’s section, always curious what new frocks had shown up in between his visits. Not that he’d ever WEAR any of them, you understand, but it was always good to see what was available for the ladies so you could accessorize appropriately so you both looked good.

As he idly flipped through the rack, he stopped and frowned as he found a glittery gold evening gown with short sleeves and a plunging neckline. Right next to it was a pink polka dotted number, and a navy blue gown from the ‘50s. Nathan felt his teeth clench. He knew those dresses.

They had belonged to a girl he dated a few months previous. Jane Lane. An attractive, arty girl with a wicked sense of humor, some pretty decent art skills and an affinity for some of the same retro stuff he idolized. Things had started out okay, but after a while, she started taking it less and less seriously. That wasn’t helped by her friend: a miserable, sarcastic little twerp named Daria who mouthed off about everything Jane had done with Nathan, culminating in her and her boyfriend nearly ruining a great night out with the gang at the abandoned drive-in theater on the outskirts of town.

And then after that disaster, Jane actually expected them to spend MORE time with Daria the Drip and her boyfriend! She bought tickets to some corny amateur magic act at that school she went to, which was bad enough, but then she wanted to wear ‘40s shoes with a ‘50s dress out that night! It was almost a blessing that they had broken up after that argument. God only knew what the gang would’ve said if they had actually shown up at the floating ukulele review that night.

And here that self-same dress was, clearly abandoned by Jane after the split. Nathan huffed through his nose and walked away from the rack. She wasn’t worth getting this agitated about. Just another Frankie-come-lately. He should have guessed when he met her in the stationery store and he first saw those godawful boots of hers. Was it really too much to expect to find a girl who shared his passion for Post-War style and didn’t see it as just another fad? It was a lifestyle, and Nathan was committed to living it to the fullest.

Speaking of, he found himself next to the jewelry cabinet and his eyes immediately went to the ornate silver pocket watch with the large amethyst in the cover. Nathan whistled. It wasn’t quite the right style for the era, but it was a looker.

“Hey, Joanie!” he called to the clerk, who came over to the case. “How much for that little eye-catcher?” he asked, pointing at the watch.

Joanie opened the case and pulled out the watch. She checked the tag attached to the chain. “Huh? Says it’s twenty.”

“Twenty?” Nathan’s eyebrow raised. “For something that happening? That can’t be right.”

“We go by what’s on the tag and the tag says it’s twenty,” Joanie shrugged. “You want to buy it?”

“There’s gotta be a catch,” Nathan said. “Can I open it? Make sure the works aren’t busted or anything like that?”

“Sure,” said Joanie. Nathan thumbed the pushbutton on top of the watch stem, popping the cover open. There was a flash of purple light, causing Nathan to wince briefly as it overwhelmed his vision. When it returned, he blinked, spots dancing in his eyes.

“What the hell was that?” he asked. Then he stared. Joanie was still at the counter but she seemed… frozen. Still looking at him with an unblinking stare. Nathan frowned and snapped his fingers in front of the clerk’s face a couple of times.

“Joanie? You okay?”

Joanie didn’t respond. Nathan waved his hand in front of her eyes, but still got no response. He looked around, trying to see if maybe this was some kind of elaborate gag being played on him. He didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He leaned over the counter to see if there was someone down there, but all he saw were Joanie’s feet.

“Ugh,” he said automatically as the sneakers Joanie was wearing. Modern trash, definitely not the kind that went with the vintage blouse and jeans she was wearing. “Joanie, come on,” he continued, deliberately being rude to provoke a reaction. “I thought you had better taste in shoes than that.”

Joanie didn’t respond, which caused Nathan to frown again. He had made comments like that before in a joking fashion, but Joanie never let them slide. He was definitely in Weirdsville here.

He glanced down at the pocket watch, which seemed to be working just fine. He snapped it shut and Joanie looked down at her feet.

“What was I thinking?” she said. Nathan blinked and looked back at her.

“Pardon?” he asked.

“My shoes! I was in such a hurry to get to work today I put on my running shoes!” Joanie stepped out from behind the counter. “I can’t wear these with this outfit! I’m going to have to change them. Maybe those heels I saw last week.”

She blinked again and looked up at Nathan. “Oh! Sorry, what am I doing? Are you going to take the watch?”

Nathan looked from her, to the watch, and back again. A slow smile crept across his face.

“Yeah, y’know what? I think I will. It… speaks to me.”



CANTERLOT HIGH SCHOOL
CANTERLOT CITY, LZ
SATURDAY, JUNE 11, 2016

After waking up, taken home, and having a good night’s sleep, Sunset Shimmer was ready to get onto the next thing she knew she needed to do: check to make sure the portal to Equestria in the plinth outside Canterlot High was still working. She and her friends met just after noon at the campus.

“Okay, so here’s what I know,” Sunset said (after assuring her friends she was just fine, thanks.) She held up a large book with an ornate sun-star hybrid symbol on the cover. “I wrote to Princess Twilight this morning after I got up, and she responded, so we know the magic linking the journals together is still working.”

“Princess Twilight” was Princess Twilight Sparkle, one of the four princesses of the land of Equestria. She was Twilight Sparkle’s counterpart in that dimension. “Princess Twilight” was the name the group of friends used to distinguish between the two.

The princess and Sunset Shimmer were able to communicate across their two worlds by a magically enchanted journal which acted much like the text function of a cell phone. Whatever each wrote in their journal would magically appear on the pages of the journal belonging to the other. Sunset opened her journal to the relevant pages.

“According to Princess Twilight,” she began. “The portal seems to be stable on her end. She didn’t detect anything unusual and nothing happened yesterday when we were sealing the crack in ours. She and I agree that it’s probably a good idea for me to take a quick trip to Equestria to make sure everything’s working correctly.”

“Are you sure, Sunset, darling?” asked Rarity. “Couldn’t we send an inanimate object through as a test first?”

“I’d rather go through myself,” Sunset answered. “We’ll need to see if there’s anything weird happening during the actual transit between our worlds. Better to have someone who can report on anything unusual than just chucking a rock or something through.”

“Well, if you’re sure,” said Rarity. She looked up and fixed Sunset with a stern stare. “But you had better come back to us in one piece, understand?”

Sunset grinned. “Crystal clear!”

She turned to Twilight, who had her gizmo from the day before out and was running it over the surface of the plinth the portal occupied. “How’s it look?”

“Everything seems to match the readings I have form when I scanned it before. It seems to be stable, but there’s a minor fluctuation I can’t seem to account for.”

“Is it anything I should be worrying about?”

Twilight shook her head. “Not as far as I can tell. It’s a really minor variant on the usual waveforms. Like one millispike’s difference. I don’t think it should affect anything.”

“All right.” Sunset handed the journal to Twilight. “Take this. Let the princess know when I’ve gone through. If everything’s all right, I’ll write back when I get to Equestria.”

“And if it isn’t?” Twilight asked.

“I’ll come right back,” Sunset promised. “And we’ll figure out what to do from there.”

“All right,” said Twilight. She took a step back from the plinth. The rest of Sunset’s friends grouped up next to her.

“Good luck!” they chorused. Sunset grinned.

“Thanks! And don’t worry! Everything will be fine!”

Sunset took a deep breath, then stepped through the portal. The girls waited…

… and waited…

… and waited.

Just as Twilight was ready to panic and send her pony counterpart a frantic message, the portal rippled and Sunset came back through. She looked behind her shoulder at it and then back at her friends.

“I’m not sure where that was, but it was definitely NOT Equestria.”