A Pony Displaced: Homeward

by NoLongerSober


Chapter 75 - Hit the Gym

Well, this has got to be a new low when it comes to humiliation, Barrier. The charcoal stallion’s thoughts taunted him as he headed through the coastal city’s streets. Losing in poker to a little foal, losing what’s going to be hundreds of bits. I’d say this makes the old first time with Saki seem like a minor incident.

“I’m well aware,” he grumbled to himself as he spotted the sign on the sidewalk that read ‘Jungle Karma Pizza’ outside the two story brick building.

To think, the amount of bits you now have to blow would have likely bought a small house back in the old days. The pestering thoughts continued as he approached the door. Makes it all the funnier that you’re the only pony in the house without a source of income.

Barrier paused as he reached for the door. He realized that despite hating what his mind’s taunts were saying, they were correct. He’d gotten comfortable to the point of personal stagnation.

Loosing a sigh, Barrier pulled open the door and stepped into the restaurant. “I'll find a job soon.”

“Welcome to Jungle Karma Pizza,” a violet earth pony stallion in a white uniform said from behind a counter as Barrier drew closer. Adorning the top of his dark purple mane was a chef’s hat that matched his outfit. “How can I help you today?”

“Well Mr…” Barrier’s eyes quickly darted towards a name tag on the stallion’s shirt before returning to his face. “Raspberry Jam, how much would it cost for one hundred small pizzas?”

The violet chef had a small chuckle. “First, call me R.J.. Second, that many little pies would cost… about six-hundred and fifty bits. Might I ask why you’d want to know that?”

“Because I made a foolish mistake,” Barrier replied. “Now I just need to make an arrangement with the principal of Wind Whistler’s school.”

“Oh, and what arrangement is that?” Barrier’s attention was drawn towards the far end of the counter, where a brown-coated earth pony stallion with a nicely trimmed dark brown mane was standing.

“You’re the principal?” Barrier was somewhat surprised by the sight of the stallion as he drew closer. “I can’t say I was expecting to meet up with you so conveniently.”

“And I can’t say I’d expected to meet somepony connected to a filly who turned into an adult before turning into a colt and back again on the one day my husband and I didn’t feel like cooking,” he said as he came up to Barrier before holding a hoof out to him. “Principal Hardbound Text, at your service.”

“Magic Barrier,” he replied as he took the stallion’s hoof.

“Ah, the famed uncle who could kick the flank of anypony’s dad. I’ve heard of you.” Hardbound chuckled before pulling his hoof away. “So, what did you need to speak to me about?”

Barrier let out an annoyed sigh before speaking. “Well, Principal Hardbound, I’m obligated to arrange a pizza week for my niece’s entire class due to some really poor decision making on my part.”

“Let me guess,” an amused grin appeared on the principal’s face. “You made a bet with High Stakes, didn’t you?”

Barrier nodded in affirmation, making the two stallions he was with roar with laughter.

“Oh, I’ve been there before,” Hardbound said as he wiped a tear from his eye. “I ended up losing my favorite watch to her. Twice!”

“I swear, she’ll be a millionaire before she turns twenty,” R.J. said before ducking behind the counter. When he rose back up, he had a notepad in his left forehoof and a pencil behind his right ear. “So, want to place the order now so we can get this all set up?”

“Might as well,” Barrier said as he pulled a large bag of bits from his saddlebags, along with his flask. 

“Just give me the paperwork when my order’s done, R.J.,” Hardbound chuckled one more time before moving back to the part of the counter he previously occupied.

“You got it. Lily should have your order ready shortly.” With a surprisingly dexterous flick of his hoof, R.J. quickly moved the pencil to his mouth and jotted down Barrier’s order. “Right, I’ll be sure to have the first wave of orders set for Monday.”

“Thank you,” Barrier said as R.J. opened up the bag and counted his bits.

“By the way,” R.J.’s words made Barrier pause before he could move away from the counter. “I couldn’t help but overhear you’re looking for a job.”

“For the record, I’m not that experienced as a cook. I primarily specialize in pancakes and I have sincere doubts I’d make a good delivery stallion.” Barrier stated, making R.J. chuckle.

“Don’t make assumptions, Barrier. I can tell you’re a fighter just by looking at you.” R.J. leaned over the counter towards the unicorn. It was then that Barrier spotted an odd tattoo on his foreleg that looked like a trio of black claw marks.

“At any rate, a friend of mine who was a self-defense trainer at the community center recently retired, so I figured maybe that’d be something up your alley.”

“Hmm… Perhaps that’d be worth a shot.” Barrier gave his chin a rub as he thought.

“I figure you’d be a shoe-in. All you’d need is the approval of Heavy Weight, the head physical trainer there.” 

“I have to admit, that does sound like a job that’d be fitting for me.” Barrier nodded to the purple pony. “Any advice?”

“Hmm…” R.J. looked towards the ceiling for a brief moment of thought. “I believe she tends to be there fairly early in the morning and that’s when I think she’d be in the best mood.”

“Got it,” Barrier said before he turned towards the door. “Thanks for the advice, R.J.. I’ll be sure to remember it.”

“No problem. Have a nice day.” R.J. waved as the door closed behind the unicorn.

“Y’think you should have warned him about what Heavy Weight’s like?” Hardbound Text asked from his spot. 

“Nah, I’m sure he’ll be fine.” R.J. dismissively waved before thinking over the principal’s question. “Well, I’m sure he’ll be unharmed… Well, not permanently harmed anyways.”

***

After a quick breakfast and some coffee, Barrier arrived at the community center promptly at seven in the morning. Stepping inside, he made his way to a large area in the back of the community center which served as a gym.

Oddly enough, there was only one pony in the gym at the moment. It was a freckled earth pony with a light pink coat and a deeper shade of pink for her mane, tied into a ponytail. She was garbed in a white t-shirt and a pair of red shorts. She seemed to be focused on the stretches she was going through, her eyes sealed shut.

“Excuse me,” Barrier called out, making the pink mare open her blue eyes and look at him. “I’m looking for a pony by the name of Heavy Weight.”

“Well, you found her,” she cheerfully said as she walked up to him. “Are you planning on signing up for my exercise courses? If so, it’ll be a few hours before we start.”

“Actually, I was told to speak to you about applying for the role of self-defense teacher,” Barrier replied as he looked the mare over. He found himself rather surprised that this average looking pony was called Heavy Weight.

“Aw, wonderful!” A wide grin stretched across the pink mare’s face, sending a cold shiver down Barrier’s spine. “Now, can you tell me what your qualifications are Mister?”

“Barrier. Magic Barrier,” the unicorn started. “I was a member of the guard for just over twenty years, the last two being spent training a group of cadets in an experimental program.” His horn glowed a bright blue as he opened up his saddlebags and pulled out a resume. “Here’s a more detailed list of my credentials.”

Heavy snatched the paper from the air and quickly looked over it. “Okay, hope you don’t mind me putting you through your paces.”

“Perfectly fine by me, ma’am,” Barrier replied. “What would you like me to do?”

“Well, how about you run as fast as you can and then do a bit of a kata for me?” Heavy asked as she sat down. For an instant, Barrier thought the floor shook from the force of her sitting.

“Shouldn’t be a problem,” Barrier said before starting to gallop around the gym, interweaving between some of the equipment and weight sets that were strewn about. Once he had lapped the large room, he skidded to a halt in front of Heavy Weight who seemed surprisingly unimpressed.

After a brief moment to catch his breath, Barrier started to fall into the well practiced movements that not only he had trained under, but movements he’d had the privates practice for many an hour.

Once the kata was done, Barrier trotted up towards the painfully pink mare. “So, any thoughts?”

“Hmm…” She brought a hoof to her chin. “It seems pretty good. Sorry if I don’t sound impressed, it’s just that I have a bit of a hard time measuring ponies’ strength compared to my own. I’m actually not allowed to compete in sports competitions because of this.”

“Really?” Barrier’s eyebrow quirked. “That seems a bit surprising.” I’d also say hard to believe, but then again, I’ve lost a game of poker to a nine-year old who could keep track of how quickly Swift shuffled, so what do I know.

“Say, would you be willing to help me get a ball down?” Heavy pointed towards the ceiling. When Barrier craned his neck up, he spotted a basketball that was lodged up in some of the metal beams high above.

“I don’t see why not.” Barrier shrugged his shoulders before he felt Heavy grabbing onto his sides. He immediately regretted his previous words when she tossed him up into the air. It took every ounce of his will to not scream like a terrified foal.

Just as he felt the force sending him upward had stopped, he saw that he was now in front of the lodged basketball. On instinct, he plucked the ball free with his magic just before he felt gravity reasserting itself and sending him tumbling back downwards.

Halfway into descent that would surely severely injure him, if not outright kill him, Barrier found himself being grabbed in mid-air. The unicorn found himself in Heavy Weight’s grasp before she managed to land on her hindlegs and gently set Barrier down.

“And that is why I’m not allowed to compete in sports. Friggin’ magical anomaly,” she muttered her last few words as she gently dusted herself off. She didn’t seem to notice that Barrier was staring at her with a slack jaw. “So, you still want the job?”

“Uh… yes, I would…” Barrier hesitantly answered.

WHAT IN TARTARUS ARE YOU THINKING?! Barrier’s mind screamed at him. YOU’RE VOLUNTEERING TO WORK WITH A PINK DEVIL!

“I need to do something for a job and this still seems like the best option,” he quickly muttered under his breath.

“Alright, Mr. Barrier,” Heavy cheerfully said as she trotted up to him. “I’ll just have to get your credentials checked, run a background check, etcetera and we’ll be all set. Should only be a few weeks before you hear from us again.”

“Very well then, Ms. Heavy Weight,” Barrier said before he turned and started to trot back to the entrance. “Just don’t use me as a projectile ever again.”

“Aww,” Heavy put on a large frown. “But you’d be perfect for the javelin throw.”

“Uhh… I’ll keep that in mind,” the onyx unicorn said before slipping out the exit. Once he was out of sight, he let loose a large sigh. “Well, at least that’s over with. With any luck I should hopefully land a job.”

***

It was past three as Barrier finished reading one of his books and had a long stretch. Soon after, he languidly rose from the couch as he heard the front door open and the sound of small hooves bolting towards him. 

As soon as she turned the corner, Wind Whistler found herself halted in her charge. The little filly pouted while Barrier smirked and picked her up before pulling her into a hug. “Good afternoon, Windy. How’s your day gone?”

“Pretty good, Uncle,” The little filly replied as Fleetfeather walked into the room. “I had to toss somepony out the gate for once and Stakes gave me a nice bonus for it.”

“Well, hopefully you didn’t rough them up too hard,” Barrier said as he set the filly down before facing Fleet. “How about you?”

“Pretty good,” Fleet answered as she gave her wings a stretch. “We’ve got everything set up for tonight’s snowfall. This time, it’s here to stay for the season.”

“Well, that will be a bit of a nice change to the scenery.” Barrier and Fleet both trotted over to the table. “So, what would you like to have for dinner tonight, Windy?”

“Hmm… is pizza an option?” Wind Whistler wore a grin at the flat look Barrier gave her, forcing her to choke down a snicker.

“I just spent hundreds of bits setting up your boss’s little pizza week at school. I’m not buying pizza again for a long damn time.” As Barrier took his seat, Windy felt her dam breaking and fell into a laughing fit. 

“Well…” Fleet tapped her hooves against the table. “Maybe we get Windy and the rest some pasta for delivery while I treat you, Daring and I to a nice fancy dinner tonight at the Four D’s?”

“That sounds wonderful, Fleet,” Barrier replied, giving her a warm smile. “On a side-note, I applied for a role as a self-defense instructor today.”

“R.J.’s gonna have you teach ponies how to fight? That’s awesome!” Windy excitedly said, hopping onto the table and wagging her tail in a puppy-like fashion.

“Uh, no, Windy.” Barrier’s magic picked up the now frowning filly and set her back down into her seat. “He had me meet up with Heavy Weight at the community center. If she likes my credentials, I’ll be teaching there, possibly under her supervision.”

“Awww, but R.J.’s a Pai Zhua master! He’s an awesome fighter.” Windy then childishly crossed her forelegs.

“Yeah, and I’m sure he’s a Pony Ranger too,” Barrier said as he rose from his seat. “So, what kind of pasta would you like, kiddo?

“... Fettuccine Alfredo… with hay bacon bits…” She answered before Barrier gave her mane a light tussling. 

“No problem, dear,” Fleet said just as she heard the front door open. Turning about, she saw Daring in her full Yearling attire. “Perfect timing. Do you feel like having a nice romantic dinner with Barrier and I?”

“Sure thing,” Daring said as she pulled her glasses from her eyes. “Just give me a few minutes to take a shower and put on a clean disguise.”