//------------------------------// // With me Truck. // Story: I hit Celestia with my pickup truck // by aegishailstorm //------------------------------// Nicholas walked back inside, and Celestia followed. "So, what do you want to eat?" He asked somewhat impatiently. "Well, you said you have fruit salad. May I have some of that?" "Yes." He turned off the stove, tossed his hashbrowns on his plate and grabbed himself some beef jerky from the pantry. "Note to self, buy some more next time you go into town." He Then grabbed a second plate and threw the fruit salad that he had made earlier on a separate plate for Celesta. "Apologies for the lack of options, I don't usually get visitors, Human or other...unless you count the odd wolf or mountain lion that wanders into my backyard." "Oh don't worry, Its really no trouble at all." She replied, levitating the plate of fruit away from him. He Blinked and rubbed his eyes. "Did you actually just levitate that plate out of my hands? Or am I just seeing things again?" "I'm confused, What did you mean by that, do you humans not use magic?" "Well... yes.. and...no...and-You know what? That's a very touchy subject I'd prefer not to get into right now, let's just eat." "Alright then." The two of them sat down at Nicholas's living room table, and began to eat.Nicholas Reached for the salt shaker, and began to pour it onto his hashbrown. "Uh, pardon me Nicholas, but don't you think you're putting a little... TO much salt on your food?" He laughed. "I don't understand the question, I've been eating my hashbrowns like this for as long as I can remember." Setting down the salt as he did and beginning to devour his food. "So, tell me about life in Equestria, how's that working out for you?" "What do you mean by that?" She asked. "Well, it's not every day that you stumble upon a mythical creature from another dimension, something must've sent you here. So what?" To be honest, I'm not quite sure, I was sitting in my throne room when-" Wait, Your 'throne room' ? Did I hear that correctly?" Nicholas's anger began to swell inside of him, one of the main reasons that he never traveled abroad was that he had a hard time taking the government's of foreign nations "seriously", especially monarchy's. "Hold on, maybe she has a good reason for this, let's hear her out." "Yes, does your nation not posses a ruler as well?" "AHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAH!!!!! That's The dumbest #### I've ever heard! No, our country does not have a ruler per say... Tell me Celestia. Have you ever heard of a 'Democratic Republic' before?" "I've heard the term somewhere before, but I can't quite place it." "Oh boy... this is going to take some explaining." About 4 hours of history later... "...And here we are In the present day, the most powerful nation on this planet." "Impressive, And you humans accomplished this all without magic?" "Well, not me. I had nothing to do with it. But as for This nation's founders? Yes. At least as far as I know. So, about your life in Equestria, tell me more." One more thing.. during your explanation of your country's history, You mentioned something called, 'The right to bear arms' Multiple times, What does it mean?" "Well... You see Celestia..."He got up from the couch and walked over to one one his shelfs' and snatched up a KSG 12 shotgun." "Its honestly one of my favorite parts of living in this country. Its the ability to own legally own lethal weapons. Such as this." He said, racking a fresh slug into the chamber as he did. "What is exactly is that?" She asked him. It's kind of hard to explain, Imagine a crossbow, you have those where you live, right?" She nodded. "Well, it's sort of like that, except instead of firing wooden bolts using kinetic energy, it uses the thermal energy and the pressure wave created by a small controlled explosion with the barrel of the weapon. Causing the projectile, known as a 'bullet' to fly out extremely fast, impacting its target with devastating force. Although that itself depends on the type of gun, the caliber of the round, and many other factors which I have neither the time nor patience to get into right now. I think it would be matter just to show you. Follow me." With that he walked over to his closet, grabbed a case of 12 gauge shells, and a few empty root beer bottles from his trash can, and walked out back behind his house. With Celestia in tow. He walked over to the tree line, being sure to check for wildlife first, and set them up on a fence post, then walked back about 40 yards. "This particular one that I'm holding is called a KSG 12, it's smaller than most shotguns, but it still packs quite a punch, as I like to call it. '12 Reasons to feel confident'. Letting out a slightly malicious chuckle as he said it. Usually this thing takes, Something called Buckshot, so called because they're used to hunt deer-" "What do you mean by 'Hunt'?" She asked with a stern look on her face. "For food, sometimes for fun-" "I was under the impression that you were a herbivore." "No, humans are what you would call omnivores, meaning they can eat pretty much anything, doesn't mean we want to. Or have to." "Huh." She said, her voice filled with wonder as well as concern. "SO anyway, then there's birdshot, for hunting birds obviously. Don't worry, none of them are sentient here. And then there's slugs, what I have in here right now. They're basically normal bullets, except much more powerful, a a tad bit less accurate. Now, you may want to cover your ears." He aimed down the red dot sight, and pulled the trigger, popping the flimsily aluminum can with ease. "You wanna give it a try?" He asked. "No thank you." She replied, still clearly a bit worried by the prospect of humans being able to eat meat." Suit yourself. "He popped the other 4 cans, and gestured for Celestia to come back inside. "Why do you have all of this?" She asked him on the way back. "Well, That's a good question, I'm What you would call, a 'doomsday prepper' A person who prepares, for, well... Lets just go with 'hard times'." "I think I understand." She replied. "So, Now, I didn't let you finish early, what's your life like in your home dimension?" "Well..." At About this, time, with a little help from Luna, The main six where able to figure out where Twilights teleportation spell had sent Celestia, and had reverse engineered Twilight's spell to crate a 'rescue portal' of sorts the 7 of them hopped through it. They appeared in a large open felid, surrounded on all sides by mountains, trees, a lake, and a modestly sized house. They Could Here Shouting coming from it, they decided to try and investigate. "What The hell do you mean MAGIC OF FREINDSHIP!!!!??!?!?!?!?, Get out of my house you ruffians!" Nicholas yelled with vigor, now clad in full combat fatigues and sporting an AR 15 with a 60 round drum magazine. "Why, was it something I said? "She asked out of sheer confusion. One moment he had been perfectly calm and fine.. albeit a little strange, But that was to be expected with new spices after all, that was, until she began talking about he prized pupils, and the "Magic of Friendship, when he calmly excused himself, walked upstairs, and came down 5 minutes later looking like he was going to try and take on the entire royal guard at once. "Are all humans like this?" She thought to herself, completely confused. "What's wrong?" She asked him. "Oh, What? This? Oh! Gosh, I'm sorry about this. It's just....I have a bad history with... A certain group of people that preach that kind of bull####." He let out a sigh, slinging his rifle back over his shoulder. The main six heard the whole conversation, and came barging in, expecting a fight, what they got was the exact opposite. "Hello, sister, I've missed you!"Celestia and Luna hugged each other, while Nicholas was standing in the corner, trying to hold back his laughter and wide malicious smirk as best as he could. Celestia turned back to Nicholas. "Nicholas, This is my sister, Princess Luna and those students I was telling you about. Girls, this Nicholas and-" "AHAHHAHAHA!!! Its Like I'm looking at an abstract art museum!" He stopped to catch his breath, then changed his tone. "Pleasure to meet you all," tipping his helmet to them. Luna spoke up. "Sir, if you don't mind me asking, What with that armor of yours? you look like you're preparing for war." Nicholas blushed and chuckled nervously "Well, Ma'am. Your Sister and I had a little... Difference of opinion, equally both our faults. And Celestia, I never did tell you what got you in such bad shape.. Did I?" She looked at him with confusion. "WHEHEHELLLL... It was kinda, sorta, my fault, It was driving down the highway last night on my way home from work... and you just... appeared out of nowhere.. and I rammed straight into you... It was an accident! I swear!" He stammered out "Now listen here buster!". The rainbow maned one with wings spoke up, hovering right up to his face, He didn't even flinch. "I've faced down mountain lions, aliens, freakery government agents, and drunk hillbillies, Do you honestly think you scare me?" "Rainbow dash, please stand down." Celestia instructed. She groaned, and flew back over to her friends. "Nicholas, I forgive you." "Thank you, And one more thing, tell me... have you ever heard of castle law?" "No..." "well... you're about to get you first crash course in it... start runnin'." What?... but I just-" "I'm just messing with you all, The exception being that pink... Thing in the back... Don't think I don't see you." "Oh, He's talking about me!!" Yelled Pinkie, waving a hoof in the air. "No one asked! Now, Sit down, I have something to show you all." He grabbed the TV remote, and switched on his TV. "Time to turn these ponies world upside down." 1 week later... After the "Incident" , he decided to finally get that thing he was talking about, he drove into town, and parked out front of the town locksmith. "Ahhh! Nicholas, What can I do for ya?" Asked the old grizzled locksmith. "Tell me, do you have any... Magic proof locks???" He could practically hear a record scratch in the distance. "Well... let me see what we have in stock." "Thank you." Nicholas began tapping his foot on the linoleum. "I've got to get out of this crazy town before it's to late." Thought the locksmith. "Preferably something that hooves can't break through." Nicholas added.