"Lam sakes...they ran HOW fast!?" Applejack gasped, her eyes wide with awe. She and Big Macintosh were seated underneath one of the apple trees near the farmhouse, the big stallion still trying to catch his breath and speak at the same time.
He panted "About...as fast...as Miss Dash...can fly..." Applejack chuckled, shaking her head as she looked across the fields of bare trees.
Turning her head, she asked "So, you get that date with little Fluttershy?" Macintosh felt his breath catch. She knew, oh Celestia she knew! He was so dead, there was no way she was going to let him live it down now. He'd probably have to move or become his sister's slave to get her to leave him alone about it and - "Um....Macintosh? Did ya hear me?"
Macintosh sighed and nodded "Eeyup..."
Applejack smiled and asked "So...did you get the date?"
Macintosh whispered again "Eeyup..."
At this, Applejack smiled and gave him a rough pat on the back, exclaiming "Well shucks, bout' time you went and found yerself a filly! All this time ah thought might of been a coltcuddler, but wooee am ah glad ah was wrong!!! Granny Smith still needs little foals n' fillies to spoil!"
Macintosh blushed and stuttered, holding a hoof out to Applejack "W...what!? Ya'll ain't upset or nothin'?! Ah thought since it was yer friend Fluttershy ya'll might have a bit of a problem with me seein' her! Ah didn't want to make things awkward for ya..."
Applejack scoffed and waved her hoof about, shouting "Aw, horseshit! You of all ponies oughta know that family means more to me then anythin'! Ah will always support ya in whatever ya decide to do with ya'lls love life...cept datin' Pinkie. There's just some things even ah can't stand to let happen brother, and you'll thank me in the long run!"
Macintosh raised an eyebrow, confused as to what Applejack was talking about. He shrugged, figuring she knew best about her friends anyway. He looked over and asked "So uh...bout' Miss Fluttershy...what kind uh mare is she? She seems awfully quiet like ah am..."
Applejack smiled a little and leaned her back up against the tree, tipping her stetson back and looking up towards the clouds and saying "Macintosh you ain't shy, yer just plain clueless on how to act when it comes to mares. Fluttershy's a bit timid...but she's one of the kindest, nicest ponies ah have ever known. Ya'll will do right by her if ya treat her right. Speaking of, ain't you got to start gettin' ready for yer big date?"
Macintosh nodded and stood, making a motion to move but suddenly stopping. He frowned, turning his head to his sister and muttering "Um...how am' ah supposed to get ready?"
Applejack chuckled and shook her head, getting up on her hooves and muttering "Apples bluer then a bluejay...come on Macintosh..let's get you purty."
Macintosh gulped as Applejack walked towards the gates, muttering "P...purty? Wait...that means....oh...no."
~~~
"Oh darling! You really trust me with that hunk of a sexy stallion in MY hooves?! Applejack you flatter me!" Rarity shouted with glee, her eyes running all over Big Macintosh's body, the possibilities swarming through her head.
The dress mare yelped however as Applejack gave her a firm spank over her flank and scolded her "Now Rarity you just watch yerself! Macintosh is already smitten with Fluttershy, and ah need him to look and smell presentable for her this evenin'!" Rarity rubbed her flank and frowned, looking towards Applejack with apologetic eyes and nodding. Before she could say anything, Applejack cut her off "And that means, NO froo-froo fancy dresses or haircuts! Ya'll know Fluttershy is a simple pony, she'll probably like Macintosh the way he is...minus the pig smell if ya'll know what ah mean..."
Big Macintosh scowled from his place on one of Rarity's designer chairs, his voice angry and defensive "Hey!!! Ah don't smell like pigs! If anything, YOU smell like ya done finished wallowing in cow shi-"
"Right! If that is all Applejack could you be a dear and wait in the parlor? I really must concentrate" Rarity said quickly, a nervous smile on her face and her eyes locked on Applejack's. The mare had just finished giving Macintosh a sour look before finally nodding and heading out through the door. Rarity let out a sigh of relief and trotted over to big stallion, her horn glowing with blue and a wide assortment of cleaning products and brushes levitated their way over. Macintosh gulped, watching as he became surrounded, the voice of Rarity not doing much to alleviate his nerves "So! We've got Fluttershy to impress and a Macintosh Mess, this...shouldn't take too long. Granted, the more you squirm the longer this will take. If you sit there, take it like the good stallion you are, and try not to scream to loudly, you'll be out of here before you know it!"
Macintosh blinked, his eyes widening as he whispered "What in the shi- HORSEAPPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!"
~~~
Applejack blinked, looking over towards the closed door at the sound of Macintosh hollering like a filly. She frowned and walked over, knocking on the door and shouting "Ya'll alright in there?! Ah swear Rarity if yer raping mah brother, ah'm gonna have to beat somepony's ass!"
Rarity shouted from within "Applejack, could you try not being a brute for once!? I told him not to move and he got a can of hairspray to the eyes! Now hold still Macintosh...wouldn't want to poke any eyes out!"
Applejack was actually pretty amazed at what happened next. Most stallions could make their voices go a little bit higher, but she had never heard of a pony going up about four octaves at once though! She giggled, wondering if Macintosh could be the setter of a new record.
~~~
"So how was it?" Applejack snickered, looking sideways towards the glistening, shiny stallion that was her brother. His mane was set in the usual style, but now it seemed to flow and wave, even bounce as he walked. His coat was a gleaming red, and his tail even appeared to be brushed.
Macintosh glared down at the road, his right eye twitching as he whispered "Ah don't...want to talk bout' it...buckin' eye still hurts from that durn hair spray...crazy ass filly..." Applejack giggled and stopped as they came to a fork in the road.
She stepped onto the path on the right, waving a hoof and shouting "Ya'll have fun now at yer date! Don't forget, she lives over near the Everfree Forest, small cottage, can't miss it!"
Macintosh sighed heavily and muttered "Eeyup..." turning down the left path and going into a trot. He grimaced as he headed down the trail, wondering exactly how he was supposed to please Fluttershy at dinner. How was he supposed to act, what was he supposed to do!? He stopped and blinked in surprise, the actual concept of him actually going out on a date finally smacking him right in the face. This was really happening, and sure enough, he wasn't dreaming. He knew Braeburn and Caramel had some kind of hoof in this...and although they were probably just looking out for him, he was still going to tear them up and beat the ever-living horseshit out of them for driving him nuts. He sighed, moving back down the path and heading towards the Everfree Forest.
It took him all of about ten minutes to reach the small bridge that was crossed over the tiny stream in front of Fluttershy's house. He looked about in awe at just how many animals were scampering about, most of them heading back to their homes for the night. There had to have been at least forty times more animals here then what he had on the farm, and for a moment he actually envied the Pegasus for her 'collection'. He cleared his throat, trotting over the bridge and up to the door, knocking quietly three times.
His ears perked and his heart throbbed as he heard a timid voice coming from the other side "W...who's there? Ma...Macintosh?"
Macintosh smiled a little, speaking towards the door "Eeyup!" He stepped back as he heard a dead-bolt being unlocked from the other side...and another...and another. His eyes started to widen as he counted exactly fifteen clicks of a lock unlocking, his jaw partially dropping at the amount of security Fluttershy had gone through to secure her home. Finally, the door swung open a little and she poke her head out, a sheepish smile and a blush on her her face.
"S...sorry" she whispered "Shall we go?" Macintosh took a moment to look at her soft face, the beautiful yellow bow in her hair, the pink eyeshadow she wore, and just her beautiful, beautiful blue eyes. "I hope I didn't dress up too much...Rainbow's always telling me to be more assertive..." she said, looking towards the ground.
Macintosh put a gentle hoof on her shoulder, making her look up as he said "Naw...yer...yer very, um...purty..." They both blushed, the door closing behind Fluttershy with a quiet 'click'
~~~
Forty minutes later, the very timid couple found themselves seated in the outdoors seating area of the local Ponyville Eatery, menus laid out on the table before them. Three tables over however, a fancily dressed colt with a lopsided mustache kept looking over towards the couple, his eyes shifty and observant. A voice across from him though, made him turn his head "Yer an asshole! Ah can't believe you made me do this!!!" The mustached colt scrunched up his face, trying his best not to laugh at Caramel who was dressed up in a fancy filly's dress and covered in makeup, giving him a pretty well-done disguise. "Tain't funny Braeburn! Ah feel like shit!"
Braeburn sighed and looked back over towards the two, muttering "Would ya'll quit yer bitchin' and just get over it!? We're here to make sure Big Pussintosh don't mess this up, and you n' ah both know he's probably still madder then a freshly bucked hornet's nest at us right now! These disguises are for safety!"
Caramel scowled and whispered savagely "Then how come AH gotta be the mare! Why can't you get in a dress too?!"
Braeburn rolled his eyes and whispered "Cause ah'm not the one who lost at Boulder, Scroll, Knives"
Carmel frowned, hissing "Horseshit, you cheated! Since when the hay does Scroll beat Boulder!?"
The Appleloosen colt raised an eyebrow, muttering "Um...since forever? Ya big dumbass!"
Macintosh pushed his food around on his plate, looking up towards Fluttershy and noticing she wasn't really touching her food either. 'Maybe some conversation...' Macintosh thought to himself, mulling the idea over in his head. "So uh..." the Stallion began, Fluttershy looking up at him with partially wide eyes. "How uh...how was ya'lls day?"
Fluttershy smiled a little and whispered "Oh...um, it was...nice." Macintosh nodded, slowly falling back into silence as the dinner went on. Braeburn could only sigh at how boring the whole thing seemed to be, the two of them only trading a few words back and forth. He sighed, shaking his head as he decided it was time for Plan B. Oh may Celestia have mercy on his soul...
~~~
The two ponies made their way across Fluttershy's bridge, a smile on both of their faces. The dinner actually hadn't gone all that bad, even though it was mostly quiet. As they stopped in front of the door, Macintosh turned to face Fluttershy, a small blush on his face as he whispered "Ah...had a good time tonight...how bout ya'll?" The mare smiled and nodded, a small blush on her own face as well. Luckily for Braeburn, neither of the two ponies had caught sight of his two front hooves emerging from the bush behind Fluttershy, a blown up paper bag in one hoof.
It had all happened in an instant, with Braeburn smashing the bag with his other hoof and Caramel giving a swift buck in Macintosh's flank from the opposite bush. The two ponies squealed and lurched forward, their hearts skipping a beat as their lips rammed into one another. Macintosh's eyes were as wide as could be, staring into Fluttershy's which were just as wide.
They held themselves there for a moment, until Fluttershy finally stepped back and smiled widely. "W...wow..." she breathed, reaching a hoof up and touching her own lips.
Macintosh stuttered as he said "A...ah'm sorry ah didn't....ah mean...aw shi-"
"Oh no no...it's ok...it was just my first kiss is all" Fluttershy said, looking away with a bashful grin on her face.
Macintosh smiled and whispered "Mine too..." Fluttershy gave him a soft hug, whispering a quiet 'Goodnight' in his ear and opening her door.
As she stepped in, she turned her head and whispered "See you tommorow, um...that is, if you want to see me." Macintosh nodded and smiled, holding it until the door closed. The instant it shut however, his grin turned into a furious look of rage, his head slowly turning to look behind him.
Braeburn and Caramel were sitting on their haunches in the middle of the path, with the Appleloosen colt leaning over and whispering "Well shit...didn't think this part through...um.............run."
~~~
"Braeburn you piece of shit! Can't you think of plans for once that DON'T end up with us getting chased like varmints!?"
"Would ya calm down!? We're at least outrunnin' him!"
"Calm down!? How am ah supposed to stay calm when ah got one of the four horses o' the apocalypse on my ass!?"
"Oh please, like he could do anything to u-"
He was cut off by the booming volume of Macintosh's voice "You best keep running you sons uh bitches! Ah swear ah'm gonna tear ya'll inside out and beat you with a stick till the cows come home! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOU BRAEBURN!"
Braeburn squealed, pulling ahead in front of Caramel and shouting "Ok, buck calm! Run like the durn wind Caramel!!!!"