//------------------------------// // Chapter 15: “I’m scared…” // Story: The Ghost of Coltistrano: Restless Peace // by EthanClark //------------------------------// A heavy fog had rolled in from the early morning. The world was blanketed by the gray, oppressive cloud, nearly suffocating the color of buildings and streets. Crystal shaped towers managed to poke out from the fog, and the massive obelisk that was the Crystal Palace could still only be seen from the scant bits of light reflecting from its polished surface. It was an atmosphere of bleakness. Beyond the towers stood the city’s airport. Ponies in indigo armor milled about the complex, calling out orders and following checklists, securing all incoming munitions and supplies meant for repairing the damage done the night before, though beyond the commotion stood a solitary vessel. The deck of the Tornado was silent, even between its crewponies, who wouldn’t so much as share a glance as they shuffled to their stations and idly completed their tasks. A sentiment shared by the ship’s new captain. Gilda stood at the helm of the Tornado, keen eyes attempting to pierce the veil of fog and spot any of the crew. From where she stood, coiled in fog, she may as well have been alone. Solemn groans of the crew reached her ears like moans of the dead through the sea of grayness before her. What she could see, though, were the crooked claw marks left in the wood of the ship's wheel collected after countless voyages, many she had partook in. She fought off her growing scowl.  A familiar white pony caught her eye. Rarity appeared at the bottom of the helm, looking up to her with weary azure eyes, but the only response Gilda could manage was a lethargic wave. Rarity took each step under her hoof to reach her. A glance was shared between them. Gilda fought to keep her eyes on the deck where she was safe, where she still felt alone, but the bobbing of violet curls in her peripheral reminded her of their inevitable task. With a hoof, Rarity gently took Gilda’s claw and led her down. Down to the door of the captain’s cabin. Once their composure was summoned, Rarity pushed open the door and led Gilda through. The inside of the cabin was pitch black, pierced by the invading crack of light, and nopony other than its silent occupant. He sat in a chair, turned away from them, and gave no indication he was even alive, let alone aware of their entrance. Rarity summoned a candle to her. With a spark of her horn the orange glow spread out, and after a few more the room was almost welcoming. They shared another, more timid glance between each other, almost daring the other to approach the argent pony. It was Rarity to move first. “Silver, are you awake? It’s morning, already.” No sound came from the chair before them. She gestured as if to speak, but her breath caught on her hesitation, leaving Gilda to call out. “Dude, uh… you’ve been in here for a while. Like, a long while. Some grub might do-” She almost gasped as the chair slowly turned toward them both, and Silver’s amber, bloodshot eyes trapped them in a gaze of despair. He was disheveled, to say the least. Clothes were discarded, leaving his scars on full display. His mane unkempt, and what effort was put into dressing his wounds was distracted and lacking. Only his soft puffs of breath could be heard as he watched them both. “Y-Yeah, some grub would definitely do you some good. Rarity’s not big on grunt food, but we can make due, right?” Gilda gave a weak smile and nudged Rarity. “I’ll have you know I can handle most things, but the Corsairs were kind enough to offer breakfast after all that’s… well, can’t make plan without a good me-” “You’re both going home.” The statement shook Gilda and Rarity, magnified by Silver’s unflinching stare. “Uh, what? Dude, last time I checked, home is almost a thousand miles away.” “Then you’ll take the ship.” “Darling, even after what happened, we can’t be so rash.” “You are going home. That’s final.” “Silver, we’re not going anywhere,” Gilda said, fighting her own irritation. “Then you’ll die like Gorn did.” “Hey, don’t think you’re the only one who lost someone last night. Gorn was a prick, but he was one of us, and you can’t tell me this isn’t my fight.” “I can, and it’s not.” Silver finally stood from his seat to contest Gilda stomping toward him. “You better watch that mouth, grass-fed! Quit trying to boss us around every time something goes to shit!” “I wouldn’t if you’d listen to me in the first place!” “Okay, okay, stop, that’s quite enough,” Rarity stated, shoving herself between Silver and Gilda. “What happened last night was truly awful, yes, but this bickering is unbecoming of you both.” “Quit trying to mediate everything,” Silver shot back. “I… I beg your pardon?” “We’ve been at it for weeks and neither of you have figured out just how dangerous this is, and maybe you’d understand that if you didn’t try stopping me, first.” “Well, I never! Suddenly, I am to blame? You called me to help in your hair brained adventure, remember?” “Yes, and I was an idiot to ask you. Either of you!” “Wait, wait… are you serious?”  Gilda lost all control as a torrent of sharp laughter spilled from her beak. Both Rarity and Silver watched her in confusion, until her faux smile became the scowl she had long struggled to contain. “What the buck happened to you?!” She bellowed. “Sweet Guto’s ass, Silver, you were one of the coolest ponies I had ever met. Downing half a cake in one evening and kicking flank the next, spouting stupid one-liners like you were and actual, honest-to-Celestia superhero, but now all you do is whine!” “I’m trying to keep you alive!” “Screw that! You’re trying to push us away, just like you did Shining and Cadence, just like you did Abby!” “Don’t bring them into this!” “No! I will, because you’re actually so damn stupid you’re throwing away everything you once had and everything you have now. I’ve got no idea what’s gonna happen, but if we leave you out here alone then we’re never gonna see you again!” “If that’s what it takes to save you then I’ll make sure of it!” “Stop trying to save everyone!” Her scream rocked the flickering candles around her, their flames shaking violently before she turned her teary face from them and stomped through the cabin door, slamming it behind her. A moment of silence left Silver stunned. Rarity, sighing, stepped into his view with a tired gaze and a firm pout. “Explain.” “There’s nothing to say.” “Then give your best try, Silver, because I’m tired of guessing.” As Silver began to protest, the ominous chair from before slid behind him, shoving his knees and catching him in the seat, a blue wreath of magic fading with the light of Rarity’s horn. Her eyes were piercing. “It’s not a mystery, Rarity.” “On the contrary, it’s the only real mystery I’ve encountered since I left Canterlot. Every single time something has gone wrong you recoil just like you’re doing now, and it’s only gotten worse since Alate attacked Abby.” “I won’t justify trying to keep you safe.” “To what end, Silver? To the point where all of us are either so far away you might as well be dead, or to where we’re all living happily in your idyllic Coltistrano?” “What’s that supposed to mean?” Silver snapped. “Gorn, Ms. Hearts, Gilda, you brought them all to Coltistrano. You even bought Gilda her bakery and invited her to live in town. She told me.” “And that has ‘what’ to do with anything?” “You brought the ones you care about to live somewhere under your control, where they’d be safe. All the while, you’ve pushed away those you thought you could never be with, like Abby. You’re trying to be protective.” “I don’t believe this,” Silver chuckled. “You’re interrogating me.” “Because that’s the only way to learn anything about you. About what you’re feeling or what’s going on in that thick head of yours.” “It doesn’t matter, Rarity. I’m trying to keep everyone safe, and in case you don’t remember, that’s pretty damn necessary so long as Shield Wall is running around.” “Is that what’s bothering you?” “Of course it bothers me, Rarity, you’re not safe!” He shouted, standing from the chair. “Then why don’t you trust me, dear?” Silver froze in place. Her gaze had gone soft as she looked up at him with the same gentle eyes he had seen many times before, eyes that dug deeper into him than any knife ever did. He stammered out the makings of a response, flimsy as it was, but with each desperate attempt he always came back to the face that pulled every painful truth out of him, tearing out the bedrock of his soul as numbness filled his head and his whole body tensed.  A pained cry left him as the chair was sent across the cabin with a powerful kick. He readied another strike but fought against his own body, writhing in place before crumpling to the ground, gripping tight to his chest. Rarity could hardly watch the display as Silver beat the floor with his bare hoof, whispering curses, before she cautiously attempted to hold the wailing stallion. “I’m scared…” “We all are, dear, but you don’t have to shut yourself out.” “What else am I supposed to do?!” Silver shot up from the floor, face damp with tears and trembling. “Every time I try to take something back I lose something else. I… I wanted them all back so bad. I wanted it so much I told Darrox to go screw himself and his mission, but… but I dragged you into it. Serenade died, and Darrox ended up taking the fall for my mistake. Mine! “And I promised him. I promised I would do whatever I could to keep his mission alive. That I would be him! So, I… I can’t let him down, Rarity. He always managed to save everyone, even me, but I keep losing the ones I care about. Dammit, Rarity, look at me! I have ‘failure’ written in every scar and wound I’ve gotten since I was dropped in the ocean. If I had just done it then Gorn would still be here!” “Done what?” “Kill him!” The cry shook Rarity, staring into the crazed and teary face of Silver. “I was so close. When he attacked us in Ponyville, so much was going on, it just happened and… I can still feel him choking! But I just… I wanted it. I wanted it so bad. And Alate, she was so damn sure it was right that… gah! What more do I have to give up?!” “No! No, Silver, that is not fair. Darrox gave everything, even his family, so he could be the Ghost.” “So why can’t I?” “Because Darrox wasn’t perfect! Because our actions have consequences, and him leaving Alate behind to traipse about as some caped crusader turned her bitter and cruel.” “It’s not his fault she wants vengeance.” “But it is his fault he was never there for her. Instead, he disappeared for decades and left her without a brother. Sweet Celestia, Silver, can you imagine what it’s like to have someone you care about and be forced to treat them like a memory?” “But… But I’m not… I wouldn’t...” He fell. Hooves wrapped around Rarity as Silver fell to his knees, gripping with a desperate strength. Tears matted her fur and were joined by a few of her own. Time faded away as they simply held each other in the dim light of the cabin. She slowly rocked him, feeling his grip tighten once more before it slowly loosened and his breathing became steady. Carefully, she lifted his face to meet hers.  “Do you understand now, Silver?” “I… I have been such an idiot,” he whispered. “Don’t be hard on yourself, there’s been enough of that.” “No, it’s true.” He stood, offering a hoof to Rarity as he brought her to her hooves. “I’ve been awful. To Abby, to Gilda, and to you. I was scared to trust any of you. I… Rarity, I don’t want to be a memory. Not anymore.” Rarity’s eyes popped open as she felt Silver kiss her cheek, freezing her in place. His silent thanks drew a blush from her cheek as he pulled away from her, freeing her with a warm smile. “I’m so sorry, Rarity,” he said, still with the hint of a tremble in his voice. “Darling, your heart was in the right place… even if you have been a proper imbecile about it.” “What should I do?” “Have faith in us, and in yourself. Believe no matter what happens, no matter how terrible today becomes, we’ll all be there tomorrow.” “But Darrox and Gorn-” “Made their own choices. Silver, my dear, you can’t control everything, even if it’s for the best intentions. Darrox wanted to fight his fight, and Gorn, stubborn as he was, wanted to do right by someone he loved. Their choices, not yours.” “I never… I don’t know if I can let go like that. I can’t risk losing you.” “You’ll lose me if you don’t. You may be a ghost, Silver, but your memory is what will truly haunt me.” Silver lingered in Rarity’s words. Breath passed between them, crossing the distance of mere inches before the two embraced once more.  “I won’t let this happen again.” “I hope so, but I’m not the only one who needs to hear it.” Silver’s eyes locked onto the imposing door to the cabin. He remembered the thunderous crash it made in Gilda’s fury, and the piercing scream that still lingered in his mind. The embrace was left in favor of striding toward the door. Rarity gave him a nod, urging him forward as a courageous push brought the grey light of the outside world into the cabin.  Streaks of light had managed to pierce the veil of fog surrounding the city. Some ponies on deck spotted and gave a feeble salute, while others continued on their way as Silver surveyed the deck, cautiously searching for her. It was the sound of light gasping that signaled Silver behind and up by the helm. As he cautiously climbed the stairs he could clearly see Gilda leaning over the railing, her back heaving slightly and wings trembling. An errant step earned a squeak from one of the floorboards. Gilda spun around with rage in her eyes and tears down her face, and the sight of Silver did little to pull her out of a low, threatening stance. Silver held his breath. Soon, her outstretched wings slowly came down to her sides, mellowing her posture and expression as she returned to her solemn perch along the railing. “If you’re here to tell me to pack, then I’ll tell you where to cram the duffle bag.” “I don’t want you to leave.” “Oh, yeah?” Gilda spun around again, slamming a claw to the floor. “You were pretty damn convincing back there, all broody and full of your own bullshit.” “I was wrong, Gilda. I’m sorry.” “Damn right you are! You don’t get to drag me out here, a thousand miles away from home, chasing down some psycho, just to kick me out like you’re doing me a favor. What happened, huh? You and Rarity have a sappy pony talk in there, kissing and making up like it’s all better now?” The mockery stung, but not enough to deter Silver from approaching Gilda. She flinched, eyes glued to him. Once he crossed the helm to her he stood square before her, eyes baring down with a firmness she had rarely seen.  “Hit me.”  “What?” The command made Gilda cock an eyebrow. “Hit me like you did on the beach, that made me eat sand and put a smile on your face.” “Oh, you’re gonna regret this, pretty boy.” “You hit with your claw, not your mouth, feather face.” Gilda paused for only a second before her face contorted in anger and fearsome limb reached out faster than Silver could see. He stumbled back. Spots danced before his vision long before the pain in his jaw was registered, but once it did he gripped the tender point of impact, trying to keep his balance. His brain swam in a dazing ocean, stirred up by Gilda’s still tensed fist. What he could see, though, was the tiny smirk forming at the corner of her mouth. “T-Told you,” he muttered through clenched teeth. “You deserve a lot more than that one, raghead.” “I know, I know. Maybe you’ll get a chance to see it… I meant it, G. I’m sorry for what I said, back there.” “Yeah-huh, and you’re gonna make it up to me, starting with giving me the best reason you can think of why I should let you off the hook.” “Well, I’m scared,” he said, smiling. “The ‘sappy pony talk’ did wonders.” “Wait, you... ?” Her speech was cut off by tears and laughter, crying out the rest of her frustration in a chorus of airy chuckling. “Silver, you absolute dweeb, weren’t you the one who told me to not let myself be alone?” “Yeah… damn, I can’t believe you remember that.” Silver rubbed his jaw, slowly working out the pain. “How could I not? One of those scars is from me, remember?” “I think it’s two, now.” Gilda slowly approached Silver and tilted his head up, looking over the fresh welt upon his chin. A claw came up, feeling around the impact zone, before she gave a light tap to his jaw, clicking the bone into alignment. “There you go, you would've looked crooked, otherwise. You’re still an idiot, though. Why would you go off on us like that?” “Because I don’t want you to die, G. You’re my friend, my best friend. If it had been your neck my knife landed in I… I can’t even think about it.” “You think I would’ve gone after him alone? C’mon, dude, I’ve seen the way Shield Wall can smack you around. Give me a little credit.” “I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Gilda rolled her eyes and smirked. She rubbed her claw as they walked to the railing of the ship and stared out into the thinning fog, standing silently at thin rays of sunlight falling toward the earth like gentle waterfalls. Silver sighed, feeling the tremble that had once infected his body slowly wash away in the light. Chirps of morning birds drifted in the air. Their chorus put them both at ease, and at last the first glimpse of the sun was seen through the clouds above. “So… ‘best friend’, huh?” Gilda chided, playfully. “Y-Yeah. So what?” “Nothin’. Always knew you had good taste.” “I remember when you wouldn’t have agreed with me,” Silver chuckled. “At least you laughed at my jokes.” “What can I say, I like stupid, and hoo boy did you have some bad ones. ‘Down’? Seriously?” “That joke was perfect! And as somepony lacking feathers I’m rather proud I came up with it, at all.” Silver jabbed a hoof into Gilda’s shoulder, feigning offense. “I only laughed because I never thought castaways could be that dumb…” Gilda shoved back, intentionally jabbing him with a claw, before their elation slowly died out. “That, back there? That was when I needed saving.” “What?” “You saved me back in Horse Shoe Bay, when you wouldn’t let me run away. I don’t think I could ever have tried being with others again if you hadn’t been so annoying. W-Well, not annoying, definitely a pain in the… you get what I mean, right? No one ever stuck it to me like that, like you spoke my language, ya know? I’m here, and a better person, because you saw something, something that really needed saving. “But, you’re drifting out of touch, dude. You think saving people means flying around in a mask and beating up weirdos, but look what that did for Darrox. He’s dead, his sister’s crazy, and he’s got you convinced his way is the only way to do this.” “You don’t think the Ghost is enough?” Silver asked, hesitantly. “I think you’re enough. Not as the Ghost, he’s kind of a jagoff, but as Silver Spade. Your heart is, like, always in the right place, even when everyone else’s isn’t, ya know, but you keep getting in your own head. You did it with me, you saved Manehatten, but Shining and Abby and the rest of us know the risks. We know what we’re in for. It’s like... I don’t know, dude. I just don’t think you can save something that doesn’t need saving.” Silver stood quietly, eyes fixed on Gilda as she finished pouring her heart to him, harsh truths that furrowed his brow and forced him to gaze into the distance, pondering her words. Warm sunlight graced his bare form. Every now and then, Gilda would look over, searching for a response. She inched closer along the railing that connected them. Cautiously, she lifted a claw to poke him, but was held at bay by the intensity of his expression.  “I need to see Shining and Cadence,” he declared after minutes of silence. “You, uh, sure about that?” “I’m very sure.” “Well, you’re not going anywhere like that.” Rarity’s voice called to them from the stairs leading up to the helm. A glittering wreath covered a box hovering in the air.  “I think the dumbass should go naked. Think of it as punishment.” Gilda’s wicked yellow eyes punctuated her grin. “Heavens, no! Silver, old friends or no, you will be visiting royalty, and most likely in your own unexpected ways. That’s why I’ve brought you this.” The box landed deftly on the deck, catching Silver’s gaze. It was sleek, dark, made of a sturdy material resembling expertly polished wood contrasted with two metal latches clasping the lid shut. He ran his hoof across it and felt a chill run through him. Reverent hooves reached for the latches and flipped them open, and slowly he raised the lid up. “This… this is it?” Only Silver’s words were directed toward Rarity, for his eyes were locked on the contents of the box. “It is. No need for a fitting, though I do expect you to put it through its paces.” “Shit, Rares,” Gilda announced with a whistle. “That’s slick, even by your standards.” “Rarity, how can I repay you for this?” Rarity chuckled. Violet hairs graced Silver’s head as she came down to kiss his cheek, peering into the box to marvel at her craftship with him. “Put it to good use.”