//------------------------------// // 141. Panda Pummeling. // Story: Baa-Ram-Ewe! // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -Earth, Duckberg Calisota, Saberwing Residence, Smolder- “Thanks again for letting us stay here.” Because frankly I don’t know what we would do if Phantom Blot came after us again. “No problem, any friends of Violet and Lena are welcome in our home as long you need.” One of violet’s dads stated in a cheerful tone. “Just don’t ask for too much of us please, feeding four mouths is a bit difficult.” There was the threat of the beagle boys scrounging around, so they had us put in a safer place out of the way of the trouble that we could get caught in the crossfire of. We didn’t want to be attacked by association to Scrooge McDuck and Lena was strong enough to protect us when she was actively using her magic. Speaking of magic, the subject was a bit interesting when Ocellus brought up how our world’s magic was playing nice with this world’s magic. Apparently friendship really is infectious, not that it was going to change the world too horribly or at least that was a hopeful thought. The Duck family was friends and rivals with powerful gods, demons and anything between the two. Despite how normal the Beagle Boys sounded compared to the crazy stuff the family gets into, they were apparently a threat to never be underestimated given their numbers. Still wanted to meet the goddess of this world’s moon, as did Ocellus and she was a bit confused as to why I was curious. Luna was a cool, strong, had nightmare night and there was the whole thing with those awesome bat ponies she had going on. Why wouldn’t I find Princess Luna to be an interesting pony? “So how long do you think it will take Pom to get here now?” I asked as I looked to Lena with a grin. “Okay, so I must admit I didn’t realize she had a stronger trouble magnet then our best friend’s entire family of weirdness magnets.” Lena muttered as she looked at the glow stars on the ceiling with a fond smile. “Still Pom is close and she can’t get into much more trouble… right?” “Yeah no, after the whole giant robot, mercenaries and hero group thing, I’m still expecting something to stop her on her way here.” Ocellus stated in a sad tone, while looking at us. “Pom just… looked so worn down in the recent news about her exploits. I don’t think she’s getting enough sleep and is stressing out like a normal lambkin would. Which, remind you, Pom is not a normal by definition.” “So may I bring up the fact that we are thankful to learn of the name Abigail Callaghan in being a big help for our friend Gosalyn? We might be able to help bring her grandfather back from wherever he ended up, despite of the dimensional instability that our world is currently exposed to.” Violet was particularly interested in dimensional travel now once that name came up, because it could be a way we could get home. “She will be quite happy to hear that Taurus Bulba wasn’t the only one who can figure out interdimensional travel and it’s an expert we can trust given she would put herself in the line of danger before letting anyone else do so.” “Yeah, if we can get something working, then Gos will definitely be happy to have her grandpa back.” Lena stated while leaning back with her hands behind her head. “Might even be able to visit your home world too if we can get you guys back there, Equus sounds like a place that resembles Webby’s dreams. Plus it might be fun for us to explore.” “Yeah the sword horses in this world are not the unicorns, found that out well enough.” I grumbled remembering the sword horse that dented its bladed horn on me. -China, Kunlun Mountains, Panda King’s Pagoda, Shanty- Po this Panda King guy was most certainly not, but he did be having muscles and maybe fire magic. He did be looking a lot like Po though, only angrier and more destructive for certain. He be wearing a red shorts with flames on them with yellow lining at the top and bottom, not much else. His face be reminding me too much of Po’s, even if he was bigger and angrier looking. Maybe he was this worlds Po? Didn’t be mattering to me one bit, we be here to kick his flank to the authorities. “I see you carry the cane of the notorious Cooper Can, so you have come to me for revenge? For the missing pages of the Thievius Raccoonus?” Panda King said as he stood at the top of the steps. “Not going to lie, that was my plan.” Sly stood confident as he looked up Panda King. “Now you’ve really got me angry, I have a burning need to put an end to your avalanche extortion racket!” “Why should you care if I bury a few worthless villages in snow?” Panda King… I be wanting to go up there and smack him for saying that, doesn’t he remember what it’s like being poor?! I would still be knowing that feeling of being homeless if people not be helping me and all my friends were being my home now! “You’re a thief like me.” My growl attracted his attention to me as I moved from behind the pillar and glared at him. “You also bring a child to face me raccoon?” Panda King was making me angry by looking down on me, surrounded by wooden boards with targets painted on them. The snow covered steps leading up to him were simply buried and frozen logs, the only other thing up here were the lanterns lighting up the pagoda. “Easy Shanty and stay back until I lose, then it’s your turn. You know… hearing you talk so coldly about it Panda King, I thought you would care more about what you’re doing here and would see some reason as to why it was horrible.” Sly received a curious look from the Panda. “You know, you started out poor and being mocked by rich people for your shabby looks. Now you’re rich and you yourself are devastating the poor and defenseless. No, I don’t think we share any similarities whatsoever when you became what you likely despised at one point. I may be a thief, but I only steal from criminals… I’m more of a vigilante at this rate than anything with how often I try to stop and help people. You however, you are a frustrated fireworks artist who has become a homicidal pyromaniac and the very thing that he hated with a burning ego to match given that your pagoda is on top of what looks like a large statue of yourself.” Sly twirled his cane idly as he stared down Panda King without fear. “The thing that surprises me about you, is that you actually respect and care about your employees. Which is not saying much when they are all thugs that can easily turn away any helpless villagers easily after beating them black and blue if they try to fight back.” Sly pointed the end of his cane at Panda King. “You’re basically bullying people out of their money, their homes and their ability to make a living. Something I take issue with having grown up a poor orphan, because ‘somebody’ destroyed my home. I don’t care if I don’t get the page back and my revenge on you doesn’t mean that much to me in comparison to all the lives your ruining… you need to be brought down.” Sly was so cool, he not be raising his voice once. Even if he was furious he was talking in an even tone, I don’t think I could be doing that personally. “Petulant you may be, but your words ring with truth and you honor your ancestry. Even so, I will send you to meet them in the afterlife with the power of my fireworks martial arts, Flame Fu!” He be looking to me as he lit his paws on fire in an instant. “As for the animalistic child that followed you here, she might survive me sending her on her way!” Panda King be doing a sweeping motion with his left paw to wreath it in flames more heavily and he be doing a sideways flip to his right while lashing it out to launch a fireball at me, Sly didn’t even move to be saving me because I already had this situation well in hoof. “Riptide!” I stood up on my hind legs, pulled my front legs back and clapped both my hooves together sharply. This caused two streams of arcing water to come together forming a sphere and that be launching forward when my hooves collided. Said water ball be demolishing the fireball entirely and then the remaining steaming and boiling mass continued on to slam Panda King in the face. “What… was that?!” Grunted Panda King who seemed a bit stunned and slightly dazed, his face scalded and dripping wet from my attack. It almost be like he didn’t believe me capable of protecting myself. Riptide not be very powerful and when I can get it to Pom’s Bark Blast levels of damage, then I would be having a solid ranged attack. Even if it never be getting that powerful, it be a good distraction I can aim in any direction. The only problem with it is that it dehydrates me quickly without a nearby source of water and actually takes a good chunk of energy to perform too. “That be a result of my personal pirate style of martial arts, Cut-lash! Can I be taking part in this fight now?” I asked Sly with a twitch in my right eye, Panda King almost be asking for me to try my newest super move on him. It would be wiping me out, but it would hurting him quite a lot. “So are you going to give up already?” “If he involves you again, join in at your leisure.” Sly stated with a stern tone and narrowed eyes as he tipped his hat to me and started to move forward. “Otherwise I’ve got something to prove and I need to do this myself Shanty.” “I be waiting to help you make an exit if I don’t need to butt in Sly.” I backed up and moved to being behind the pillar again as Sly charged forward and the Panda King started to flip around while launching fireballs at him. Sly dodged the first and hopped behind a shield that was blasted apart, the Panda King looked confused when Sly no longer be behind it. I be seeing through his invisibility technique, but it be taking a lot of focus on my part not to lose him as my eyes be sliding away from his clearly visible form almost constantly. He be popping up next to the Panda King and smacking him in the back with his cane, he ducked when the Panda King be turning to swing at him with the back of his flaming right hand. Sly took on step back, grinned and crossed his arms smugly. Sly being way too good, I almost didn’t be catching what he just did as Panda King swept his left hand along the floor at him and seemingly knocked him over. Panda King looked confused when he noticed that Sly was on fire and not screaming, also that he now be two dimensional. Panda King’s eyes widened and before he can be reacting he took a blow from the real sly across the left side of his face from a glowing cane charged with his power to create a heavy blow. He be stumbling away from Sly both surprised and a little freaked out, I know I would be if I had to be fighting Sly. Never be taking your eyes off of any movements Sly makes in a fight, because he can do some very tricky things within a single blink of your eyes. A single blink was all he needed to act. Also Sly’s standee technique be very annoying, but he be perfecting it… well almost. Bentley do be saying that he might be able to improve on the technique and would learn to leave three dimensional fake copies of himself behind. He mostly he be using it on me and trying to steal my food. I know it be training me to be more aware of my surroundings, but he be very annoying with it. “You are quite crafty, but…” Sly swung for him again, Panda King caught the weapon by sucking in his gut to harden his belly and then he stepped forward to slam Sly with it by exhaling. This sent Sly flying to the edge of the arena where he flipped and landed on his feet. “The Belly Bounce is a technique I learned in Kung Pow City, not everyone can learn a quack fu technique like that so easily just by reverse engineering it. Do you think you are the only one who is skilled here Cooper?” Panda King did be having the ability to do sideways flips really well despite how heavy he must be, that definitely be taking some skill for someone of his size. “Well this would be boring if you didn’t put up something of a fight.” Sly quipped back and charged forward again, ignoring that he could duck behind the wooden targets, statues or other things in the area as shields to turn invisible like last time. Sly instead narrowly weaved through the numerous balls of flame Panda King be sending at him with each sideways leap in an agile manner, until Panda King landed from a jump and swept his burning left paw across the floor because Sly be making it back up into the central part of the large open pagoda. Sly leapt up and brought his cane down on Panda King’s head as he came up, thus staggering him. He recovered quickly before Sly could act and brought both his arms down. “Palms of thunder!” He be having bigger hands than Po, which is why Sly narrowly avoided the shockwave of flames from him slapping the ground with both of them creating a thunderous noise. Sly be using his cane to vault over the flames and bring it around it a golf swing for one of his left leg, Panda King be using the blow to roll around and behind Sly. “Booming chop!” He brought his left paw up and Sly rolled forward as it crashed into the ground of the pagoda and created a crater. Sly turned around to face him and he held his cane out, it began to start glowing as he eyed warily Panda King and the look was returned as they circled one another. Panda King be slow on foot, his jumping ability was decent and he be having more reach than Sly with his long arms and big paws, but I noted that he wasn’t being a professional martial artists. He be being self-taught and creating his own style from almost nothing from what I can see, quite understandable because I be doing that too… but at least Pom be giving me a base to work with. I think I be learning a few things from watching Panda King, for one he not be having a very good defense and tends to over extend leaving himself open for attack… he might be realizing that now given he was wary of letting Sly get in any more hits. The panda could be really good at grappling as he was huge compared to Sly and me. However Sly has been learning a lot about fighting with Murray and me, I think he will be easily winning this. “Hats off to you, you finally grew a brain!” Sly said as he toss his hat behind Panda King. Instead of paying attention to the hat, Panda King slammed his paws together. “Burst Blast!” Dodging Panda King’s initial attack, Sly was knocked down by the pressure wave of the fireball exploding next to him. I climbed up the pillar and continued to watch as Sly grinned when Panda king leapt for him with his right paw coming down. Sly rolled to avoid the attack and launched a kicked right between the Panda Kings legs. He was on his feet as he twirled and swept around behind Panda King clutching at himself in clear agony. This is when Sly be hooking something white with his cane and pulled it upwards as he leapt onto Panda King’s bent over back and yanked said thing forwards and downwards over his head. The ending motion unhooked the cane from what be Panda King’s underwear, what Sly just be doing is looking to be very painful for Panda King. I be glad that I don’t wear much clothing, even if I be wanting a nifty hat eventually. “You will pay for this humiliation Cooper!” Panda King squeaked out in a hilariously manner, his voice was sounding like a chipmunks after that. “If only I had a million smackers of any worthwhile currency for every time I’ve heard that… you’re a big bulky bruiser of a bully. Why would I, much less anyone else, ever fight you fairly?” Sly stated with a casual stare and a smirk that wasn’t misplaced given Panda King took a moment to pulls his underwear off his head, he sauntered over and past his cap twirling his cane by its hook. “I’m even less inclined to do so when you’re actively trying to kill me and I’m not going to return the favor, I’m not a murderer and honor doesn’t come before reason. Besides that, this is a no holds barred beat down and I intend make sure you won’t be getting back up from this beating for quite a while.” Panda King charged Sly with his arms raised up and wide, he calmly tapped the end of his cane against the ground as the black and white angry flaming pawed panda stepped on his abandoned hat. Said hat exploded violently sending Panda King flailing and falling onto his back with a pained and highly disoriented yell. Rolling into a leap Sly landed on the Panda King’s belly making him slap it with both his flaming paws as he leapt off to stomp on the panda’s head with his right foot. Sly gingerly stepped off of Panda King’s face to swing the glowing portion of his cane around to flip panda king off the ground and onto his stomach with a painful blow to the skull. While Sly might be slightly burnt and bruised, but Panda King’s head was looking like a mess after that last blow as he groggily stood up. Despite being angry at Panda King for having a part in his parent’s deaths and his home burning down, Sly looked to be a bit more forgiving then I would currently be by letting Panda King stand up. If I were fighting him, I would be bucking Panda King as much as I can until he stayed down. Sly be having other ideas. “You’re skill with that cane is unparalleled.” Panda King stated as he prepared to continue the fight. “Your right, I should finish this how I want to.” Sly said nodding as if he hadn’t heard the Panda King, he turned to me. “Shanty catch!” I caught the cane Sly threw to me and he turned around cracking his knuckle sand clenching his fist. “You would face me without your weapon?” Panda King was confused. I be a bit confused myself, but I be thinking Sly was about to show Panda King his thief style martial arts in case he ever lost his cane for some reason. It be Sly’s personal technique he be wanting to introduce to his families book of thieves, his family be primarily using canes and here’s what a good thief can be doing without them available. He figured it was a way to help future Coopers not be overly reliant on their canes in a fight. “Try me.” Sly said hopping from side to side on his feet, his fists clenched and a promise of pain in his eyes. “I needed to test this on someone like you anyway.” Try Panda King did, when he swung his right arm forward. Sly stepped into the attack slammed his two open hands into the inner elbow with a few faint blue sparkles erupting from them and the arm suddenly bent the wrong way, making Panda King scream in agony and fall back in disbelief. Sly’s ‘Stealing Movement’ thief style martial arts be about disabling and dislocating his opponent’s limbs with quick, nimble and very precise attacks that only a thief of his caliber could be pulling off. It is being very painful when used in hard style, the soft style is far less painful and he wasn’t anywhere close to being soft here with the person that helped him become an orphan. Lunging forward Sly stepped onto Panda King’s left arm and three quick hits that also resulted in faint blue sparkles and it too was dislocated, but at the shoulder this time. Now the panda be truly fearful of his opponent and kicked Sly in the left shin with his panicked flailing. Sly grunted and took a step or two back, clapped his head with both his hands, took a crane stance and then he surged forward and be drop kicking Panda King’s frightened face into oblivion. “You better stay in prison for a while after this.” Sly muttered angrily and turned to start walking back to me. “Okay, we’re done here Shanty, Carmelita will pick up the mess. I feel much better after doing that to the guy that burned down my home.” Quietly giving Sly back his cane, we walked away from the pagoda to try and find a path back down to the Cooper Van. We be needing some guidance to steer clear of Carmelita, but we be getting out of the area easily enough while it was still dark. Carmelita would easily be dealing with the other thugs with her shock pistol and would eventually take in Panda King after finding Sly’s calling card he dropped on our way out. -On the road in Calisota, Pom- I groaned and stirred, I was laying on the ground on my back and things were a bit blurry. The clicking noise the gun made as it pressed against my temple made me just look at the dog biped as he held it there with no hesitation and a steady hand. My eyes were wide as I looked up at him. I didn’t even need to profile him, I could read him fairly well from my current position. My eyes glanced at Dolly groaning and picking herself up by propping herself on her skateboard, she froze when she saw me lying here with a gun to my face. Ms. Shuttle, the Bunny Battle Bus, was on her side and her pink colored rabbit face whimpering at the scene she was witnessing. My eyes slowly turned back to the biped looking down at me with a stone cold face and no emotion, he didn’t look at Dolly or the intelligent vehicle. He just stared at me and I looked at him, I was making no sudden moves. This was the same guy from the elevator, he could kill me right now… so why hasn’t he done so yet? “I have a few questions for you." The dog biped stated flatly as he stared down at me. "The answers you give me... will mean the difference between living or dying.” Dolly was sending constant feelings of concern, panic and terror, not like I wasn’t feeling enough of that already.