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// Purple Crush [Rainbow Dash][Sunset Shimmer][Main 7] 
// Story: Ponies Don't Wear Shorts 
// by kits 
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“Come on! Y’all chose truth and now you gotta fess up.” Applejack slapped Rainbow Dash on the shoulder. “Now spill. Who does the great Rainbow Dash got a crush on?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, but her sarcastic dismissal didn’t touch her lips. “I told you, AJ. I don’t have a crush on anybody.” 

“And I'm sayin’ that’s horse apples!” Applejack fired back. “Y’all used to text me your fantasies about Spitfire.”

“Oh!” Pinkie giggled. “You should totally share!”

Rarity gave a disgusted “Ugh!” and tossed her hair while Fluttershy ducked her head to hide her blush behind her hair, but both leaned closer to Applejack.

“Spitfire?” asked Twilight. “The actress?”

Rainbow looked to the side and mumbled something that might have been a yes. 

Sunset laughed. “This makes too much sense!” She doubled over giggling. 

All six of her friends were staring at her. Sunset caught her breath, but when she looked up and made eye contact with Rainbow Dash, her laughter began again. It was another minute before she got herself under control. 

“Sorry! Sorry!” A few chuckles threatened to start the process anew, but Sunset forced them down. “It’s just, I had a poster of her, well, the Equestrian Spitfire, and now I’m imagining you and her and..." she tossed her hand into the air, "feathers everywhere!”

Ignoring Sunsets renewed bought of cackling, Applejack turned to face Rainbow. “Come on, RD. You gotta be honest about this. Can you look me in the eye and say there ain’t a single person, inside this school or out of it, that you don’t wanna,” Applejack made quotes in the air and did her best to rasp, “ ‘get freaky with’ ?”

Rainbows face became a mask of determination as she glared at Applejack. “N-“ she started to say. But the way she flinched and looked away gave lie to her denial. “Fine! Yes. I like some- someone.”

All six girls waited. Even Sunset has finally gone silent. When it became clear Dash wasn’t gonna say anything more without prompting, Applejack spoke. “Sugar cube, y-“

“It’s Twilight Sparkle, alright!?”

Shocked gasps and then silence. “M-me?” Twilight’s voice shook with confusion as her eyes did a fair approximation of saucers.  

Rainbow looked away, but not in time to hide her flushed cheeks. “No,” she muttered to a pillow. 

The girls all shared a round of confused looks. Applejack reached towards Rainbow, but the other girl just pulled her shoulder away from her friend's touch. "Sugar cube, I don't quite follow. How can y'all have a crush on Twilight without it being Twilight?" As soon as she said it, understanding bloomed within. With a start. She saw the light of comprehension dawning on her friend's faces as well. For a long minute, no one spoke.

"Darling." Rarity's voice was hesitant. It was the same tone she used when she tried to tactfully point out that one of her friends was making a ghastly faux pas. "You, um, are aware that Princess Twilight is, well, um, a pony, right?" Rarity blushed and turned towards Sunset. "No offense?"

"None tak-" Sunset paused, then knit her brows together. "No, wait. I think I'm allowed to be offended by that."

"Yeah, Rarity." Dash crossed her arms and tried to glare at her friend. "That's racist. Or... human-ist? Pony-ist? Come on, Sunset. Help me out here."

"In fact," Sunset slapped a fist into her palm, "I think I will be!"

"The word you're looking for is 'specist'." Twilight adjusted her glasses as the three girls turned to look at her. "But it's not quite right either. Both of them are human on this side of the portal. And we were all ponies on the other side." Twilight's eyes squeezed shut as she shivered. After a moment spent in recovery, she turned to Sunset. "You told us there's three main kinds of ponies. Is it a problem if they're not the same kind."

Sunset gave a single snort and dismissed that concern with a roll of her eyes.

"And you're okay with this, Twilight?" Rarity placed a hand on Twilight's shoulder. "Rainbow Dash has a crush on an alternate version of you, after all."

Twilight nodded. "I'll admit, it's always a bit weird to hear 'Twilight Sparkle,' or to say it, and mean someone else. But she is someone else." 

"Oh! Oh! I have an idea!" Pinkie excitedly bounced in place. "You should totally use SunnyShim's bookphone to ask Twilight, the pony one, out!"

Sunset leveled a glare at Pinkie. "You're not using the magical connection that is probably the only usable way I have back to Equestria to make a booty call, Pinkie."

And because the universe has its own perverse sense of humor, at that moment the silence of the room was shattered by the book on Sunset’s bedside table buzzing. 





"Is it weird that I think she's hot?" 

Sunset shook her head. "Nah. She's got that whole nerd-librarian thing going on. Only with her, it's genuine." She put a finger to her chin in thought. "I guess with both of them, it's genuine. Princess Twilight carries it with more confidence."

Rainbow shook her own head. "No. I mean, yeah. But that's not what I meant." 

Sunset didn't answer. She crossed her arms and leaned back against the wall. She knew she couldn't force Rainbow Dash. Any attempt to make her talk would just end up with one of them stomping off in a huff.

"Is it weird, I thought she was hot in Equestria?"

Sunset tried, she really did. She lasted a good four seconds before her lips twitched and another two before she broke down laughing entirely. 

Dash threw her hands up. "I'm being serious here! How weird is this? I'm having a hard time with the fact that I basically want to kiss a horse!" 

Still shaking with laughter, Sunset leaned forward and clapped a hand on Rainbow's shoulder. "Dash, I dated Flash for almost three years."

"Yeah, but you... Well, you know." Dash made a gesture while taking in Sunset.

Sunset smiled. A few months ago, Rainbow would have just blurted out the truth instead of considering Sunset's feelings at all. "I was a manipulative bitch." She poked Dash in the chest. "But! I also was a self-centered manipulative bitch with an ego the size of two worlds." She nearly laughed again at Rainbow's confused look. "Dash, of course I picked a guy I thought was hot. Old-me would never have settled for less than ten out of ten." They shared a small chuckle.

Dash's grin turned into a smirk. "Flash? A ten? You sure the portal doesn't scramble braincells?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "Okay, okay. You're right." She held up a finger. "But! He was popular and was still good looking."

Dash's smirk grew. "Yeah, if you got a thing for gigantic dorks."

"Says the girl crushing on the magical librarian who lives in a friendship castle and is Twilight Sparkle," Sunset fired back. Her eyes narrowed, but the mock anger never touched her lips. In a moment, both her and Rainbow were laughing again.

Wiping a few tears from her face, Sunset grabbed Dash's shoulder and looked her in the eyes.  "But that still leaves us with a problem." Her gaze sobered Rainbow quickly. "Twilight also liked Flash."

Dash sighed. "I know! The hot girls are all straight." Rainbow slumped against the wall and looked towards the ceiling. "Story of my life." With a sidelong glance at Sunset, she asked "How is that an 'us' problem?"

"Duh!" Pinkie Pie dropped down from a loose ceiling panel and scooped Rainbow up in a hug. "Because we're your friends! Did you think we wouldn't concoct and participate in some overly complicated scheme to give you a shot with your prized purple pony princess?"