The Odd One

by theOwtcast

Princess’ Awe

I stood at the edge of a cliff, alone, gazing at the wasteland before me. The sky was heavy and ominous, overcast with dense clouds that made it impossible to tell whether it was day, night, or anything in between, and my wings and ears fluttered in the cold wind that was howling all around me.

Dust whirled and danced in the distance, carried on the same relentless wind roaring through the endless wasteland with nothing to stand in its path save for a scarce rock or a dry twig that had long ago given up the hopeless struggle to survive in this unforgiving valley. No living being disturbed the gloomy expanse.

I was alone, and there was nothing to stand in the way of the wind.

Nothing except for the tall, imposing spire far away in the barren land; the magnificent, severe, crooked spire riddled with countless ever-changing holes, dominating the lifeless landscape, fitting into it with gut-wrenching perfection.

It was a spire I knew well, one I’d known for as far into the past as my memory could take me. It had been my entire life, filled with pain and anguish and bitter emptiness. It was the entire life of many others beside me, and I knew there should be countless souls within it and all around it, living and breathing and working tirelessly for the well-being of this unforgiving place, living and fighting and dying for its future.

But I was alone, and the swarms that should be all over the frightening spire and milling about through its countless tunnels and caverns were nowhere to be seen... nowhere to be sensed.

The spire was empty, forgotten. Dead, just like the wasteland that surrounded it.

I was alone, all alone in the world, and the wind howled on, playing with the dust in the distance and the wings on my back.

The wind howled on, playing a mournful ballad on my heartstrings.

I gradually became aware of a presence. Not a physical entity, not a love aura, not even a sound or a definite location, no way to tell who or what it was, and yet, it was there, and it was there because I was there, and I knew it without needing to ask or verify.

It was a curious feeling, knowing someone was there but not knowing who, but I wasn’t disturbed. Whoever the mysterious presence was, I’d known and felt all along, it wasn’t trying to hurt me.

Perhaps it was because a part of me had known all along, recognized the mysterious companion long before she finally took shape and joined me at the edge of the cliff.

We observed the lifeless wasteland together, never taking our eyes off it, and though I had yet to cast my gaze at the mare at my side, I knew exactly who she was and why she was here.

“Intriguing place, this,” she mused eventually. “Monumental, fearsome. I can envision great power being wielded here. But, alas, forlorn and empty, lost to time and to the world. One cannot help but wonder what could have brought upon its demise.”

Was this a vision of the future? I’d heard of such things happening, but to have one happen to me… But if this was the future presenting itself to me, I realized with sudden clarity that I knew the most likely cause for the place’s downfall.

“It was themselves, Princess,” I half-whispered back. “It was their ever-growing power-lust and their insatiable greed for stolen love. Their worst instincts overpowered them and they turned on themselves. Their whole civilization was founded on those instincts and it crumbled when it couldn’t uphold itself any longer.”

“You knew them well, did you not?”

Didn’t she know? Hadn’t she guessed where we were?

“They were my entire existence ever since I was brought into this world, up until I turned my back on them. They told me about places beyond this barren land, places I would have given everything to call my own, but those places might as well have been empty fantasies… fantasies that I all but gave up on by the time I first got a glimpse of one.” I closed my eyes and hung my head. “My whole life went upside-down that day, not that it ever really was right-side-up to begin with. I knew then that I wouldn’t have peace until I brought that fantasy into the reality of my life, no matter how high a price I had to pay for it. And I tried, believe me, I tried… It was pointless.”

“So instead of bringing the fantasy to yourself, you brought yourself to the fantasy.”

“Something like that. Only, I wouldn’t call it leaving reality to get to the fantasy; it was more like escaping living death to finally have life.”

“Indeed. I can perceive it being so by a mere glance at this forsaken wasteland!”

“Only, I never realized they were so close to the brink!” I could feel tears welling up in my eyes. “If only I’d stayed, if only I’d tried harder… this might not have happened…” Openly crying now, I turned to face Luna for the first time. “Could I have saved them? Am I the reason they’re… gone…”

She took her eyes off me and fixed her gaze into the distance.

“All I ever wanted was to get them to give friendship a chance… I never thought-” My voice snapped and I took a few breaths to compose myself, with little success. “I failed them, Princess. I should have stayed here and persisted… but I couldn’t see past my own comfort… now they’re gone and it’s my fault!”

“Are you certain that they are entirely and permanently gone?”

The question pulled me out of my remorse-filled trance and I let out a soft gasp. Instead of elaborating, she held out an outstretched hoof and my eyes followed its direction. In the distance, barely noticeable at first, a few specks were milling about at the base of the hive. I took a closer look and recognized their unmistakable, grotesque forms: they were changelings! But where had they been before? Could they have been hiding in their own land? But why? Suddenly I realized there were more of them than I’d noticed at first: the ones around the base were more numerous than I’d thought, and there were some on the hive’s outer surface and scattered around in the wasteland! Even more, I could swear there were eyes peering out of the darkness of some of the hive’s holes!

“They’re… they’re back…” I said, awestruck. “But where did they come from?”

“Perhaps they never left,” Luna simply said.

“But I thought-”

“What you saw was the darkest fear hidden deep inside you: the undoing of your kind apparently caused by your failure to keep them from stepping over the proverbial edge. I must admit I cannot see what could have caused that fear to surface so suddenly after your slumbers have been most tranquil as of late.”

“It could be because I’ve been thinking about my destiny lately,” I mused. “I’ve come to realize that if I have a destiny, it would be to convince my kind to embrace friendship and sharing of love, but I just can’t see how to do it! The best I’ve been able to come up with would only work sporadically and there’s no telling if the drones I do convince that way would live long enough to make a difference! If Chrysalis finds out what I’m trying to do, and she’ll have to find out sooner or later, she’ll undoubtedly kill anyling who sides with me, and that defeats the whole purpose!”

“Your goal is admirable, dear Thorax, and though I cannot at this point offer any solutions to your conundrum, I have every confidence that you will succeed on your own.”

“But what if I don’t? Finding a way could easily take longer than my lifetime! What if no one will care to continue my efforts after I die?”

“I find that outcome most unlikely. One only needs to get a glimpse of your vision to know that it is worthy of all the effort! It is a vision of hope, and of friendship, and of harmony; such visions outlive their creators and inspire generations to come, ever after having been fulfilled!”

“How I wish your words were true, Princess,” I sighed. “There’s nothing I’d want more than to see my kind abandon their violent ways and turn their enemies into allies! I can almost see how much more beautiful the world would be!”

“I would like to see it too,” she said.

Something in her voice stirred a wistful chord in my heart. She might have meant it as an encouragement to persist in my efforts, but a tiny voice inside me whispered: what if you could see it now? I realized I couldn’t wait; I didn’t want to wait a moment longer! This was a dream - it had to be if Luna was here like this - and though I didn’t think I’d ever see the realization of my desire in the waking world, there was no harm in creating such a place right here in my own mind! Maybe, hopefully, one day in the distant future, the immortal Luna would look upon its real-life counterpart and remember one little changeling who had dared to dream of starting it all…

I focused my heart and mind onto this vision, this dream of a dream, and let it seep into the world around us. The wave of change rippled out gently and gradually, but the result was gloriously breathtaking! The skies cleared, the sun shone brightly, no longer stifled by the heavy clouds, and the raging wind calmed to a slight breeze. The barren wasteland became overgrown with meadows and forests as far as the eye could see, transitioning gently into the cliff we were standing on, now just as lush as the rest of the landscape, and encircling the hive, which was now somewhat softer in contours and not at all menacing, and plants adorned its holes similar to how ponies kept potted flowers on their homes’ window sills. Around the hive and scattered throughout the wasteland-turned-paradise were clusters of pony cottages, each complete with parks and gardens and fields and an occasional lake or river, and all connected with dirt paths and railroads. Everywhere I looked, ponies and changelings were together: working, playing, having fun, helping one another… Gone were the days of fear and hatred and mutual despise, and nothing remained but friendship and unity! The aura of love was bright and strong, even more than that of the Crystal Empire at the climax of the Crystal Faire, and it permeated the world as far as I could sense it, and possibly way beyond!

Luna and I watched in awe as the sight unfurled before us and allowed a few moments for its beauty to sink in.

“A magnificent vision, indeed,” she said eventually. “Truly powerful!”

“If only I could carry it over into the real world…”

“Visions like these tend to become reality,” she continued, “if only one strives to uphold them. You are doing just that, dear Thorax, and I have no doubt that you will one day lay your waking eyes on such a sight. It would not surprise me if that day should come sooner than you or I can imagine.”

“You really think I can do it? Just like that?”

“I did not say it would be, as you put it, ‘just like that’. Few changes of that magnitude can happen in an instant. No, yours will likely be gradual but not so much that one cannot see it happening. And it will be a tremendous change, have no doubt; salutary to some, world-shattering to others, and, I regret to say, terrifying to all. It will take time for everyone to adjust, and this will in fact be the longest phase of the change, one that might require more effort and patience than any other. But rest assured, young Thorax, for I have no doubt that you are up to the task.”

I pondered this. It made sense in some strange way…

“You’ve seen it happen before, haven’t you, Princess? Not here, I mean, but somewhere else.”

“Indeed I have. Such was the state of Equestria shortly after the unifications of tribes, though I was but a filly then and do not remember much of what was going on. But more recently, my return from banishment of a thousand years was not without the kind of difficulties that remind me of what you are experiencing. Thanks to legends deeply rooted in ponies’ minds, I was known at the time as a creature of nightmares and many saw me that way despite my sister’s best efforts to do away with such preconceptions. I was not immune from those preconceptions myself, and I dwelled on them for a long time, letting them consume and torture me and feed off my guilt, and had it not been for the same six ponies who had resurrected me from my crooked state, the consequences would have most certainly been devastating not only for me, but for whole of Equestria! I learned since that my subjects had all forgiven me in the meantime even though I could not forgive myself for what I had done so long ago and embraced me as a force of good, but still, learning not to linger on the past was much harder to me than it was to the others, and a much longer process than reacquainting myself with the world after a thousand-years-long period of solitude and adjusting to the everyday standards of the modern era.”

“I never realized… I mean, Sunburst told me about Nightmare Moon and her… your… restoration, but he never said anything about it being so difficult!”

“An omission not unexpected, Thorax. The burdens of the aftermath of a victory rarely make themselves known to the public and few find their way into the history books, but that does not make such burdens any less real, nor does it dispose of the need to address them.”

“Princess, if you still need help dealing with any-”

“Your offer is most appreciated, kind Thorax, but I have healed. It is you who will need help - and by ‘you’ I mean your kind as well as yourself - in ridding yourselves of your unenviable reputation after you have relinquished your dark ways, only I expect it will be harder for you than it was for me. I was but a legend told to foals at bedtime, but the wounds your kind caused are still fresh and will need time to heal. How quickly they will heal is up to you, but when you are ready to make that step, I will be there to light the way if you should need me.”

I smiled and my eyes welled up with tears again, only this time, they were a different kind of tears, ones driven by the light of gratitude rather than the darkness of despair.

“Thank you,” I said. “But what if I fail?”

“You will not; I am certain of that. Your vision is laudable and your desire to fulfill it strong, and fulfill it you will, have no doubt. You will find a way, no matter how long it takes, but do not let yourself succumb to discouragement, no matter how hard and daunting the fulfillment of your dream may seem. Hold on to it, Thorax, never give it up!”

“I’ll do as you say, Princess… I think you’re putting too much trust in my abilities, but I’ll do my best.”

“On the contrary, dear Thorax, you have made the first step, the most difficult one thus far, and I firmly believe that you will know better than anyone how to tread on and bring the journey to its rightful conclusion. But I do know of one other step you will have to make, and the sooner you do, the easier your journey will become.”

“Yes?” I asked eagerly.

“Cast off whatever doubts are holding you back, and have faith.”

An aura of powerful, blinding love enveloped her and she was lost to sight, but the aura didn’t stop there; instead, it grew in strength and size until it engulfed the entire vast landscape with the hive and its surrounding villages and meadows and forests, and all the ponies and changelings in sight, including me.

I opened my eyes and found myself lying peacefully in my bed, instilled with a sense of hope and tranquility so overwhelming that, for a moment, I wondered if I was somehow still asleep. I gradually realized that I wasn’t, but the dream and my heart-to-heart with Luna had stirred something in me, something I could only describe as a purpose rediscovered in a completely new light, and the irresistible urge to fulfill that purpose… and, somehow, a conviction that it might not be so unimaginably far out of reach as I’d thought.

I got out of bed and approached the window. The starry sky beckoned to me and, careful not to disturb the flowerpot with my newest buttercup sapling, I opened the window and flew out into the open.

The skies were clear and the stars shimmered between the ripples of the Crystal Heart’s magic. Maybe it was just the effect of the freshly-restored spell, but something was different about them tonight. It almost felt like they were trying to encourage me, promising my star would one day shine just as brightly!

The first streaks of light appeared on the horizon. If I didn’t know better, I’d think they were trying to underline the point of what had transpired in my dream. Whether or not that was indeed the case, there was something soothing and encouragingly ominous about them, and I watched the break of dawn with a strange feeling that I was looking at the breaking dawn of a new chapter of my life.

By the time the rest of the city woke up, I’d already been busy with the brush and canvas for a few hours. The ecstasy caused by seeing what the future could hold and, perhaps to an even greater extent, by Luna’s confidence that it would one day become reality, had worn off somewhat, but the awe at the sight remained, feeding the hope that it would indeed one day be brought into existence. Whether I would live long enough to do it myself or end up having to pass the torch to others, only time would tell, but I knew one thing: no matter what happened, I wanted to keep that vision alive and beckoning to be fulfilled. Who ended up doing it didn’t matter to me as long as they succeeded permanently! But if that were to happen, it was no use to keep my vision to myself or to share it with a select few like I’d been doing so far; I wanted to shout it from the highest mountain so that all the world would hear it!

Thus, the first step: in order to maintain my goal vivid in my own mind and the minds of those who already knew about it, I wanted to immortalize the scenes from my dream in a more tangible fashion, one that would not only serve as a revered reminder of my life’s destiny but also inspire others to embrace the idea and join me in securing a better future for the world. And, by now, I’d developed passable skills in one possible way to do it.

I only regretted not having thought of it a few days sooner. I could have brought a few such paintings to sell at the Crystal Faire! Oh well, I was still going to be here next year, which gave me plenty of time to paint as many hopeful scenes as I could think of, and they wouldn’t have to be miniature this time! By then, I might even figure out how to proceed further!

The possibility of Chrysalis finding out about me this way wasn’t lost on me, but for some curious reason, I wasn’t nearly as afraid of the consequences as before. She would undoubtedly try something and would likely succeed, but I wasn’t going to let that discourage me! I couldn’t afford to if my dream was at all achievable! She could do her worst, but I’d already made a difference, and I had friends to rely on to keep my legacy alive and continue in my hoofsteps from where I no longer could!

Then again, I was sure I could count on them to not let my life end tragically if there was any way for them to prevent it, or at the very least, that they wouldn’t give me up without a fight, whatever that fight entailed.

Maybe it was the lingering after-effects of last night’s dream and conversation with Luna, or maybe it was the hopeful aura of the powered-up Crystal Heart so close to me. Or maybe, just maybe, it was the scent of impending reality, begging to be taken. I didn’t know and it didn’t really matter; what mattered was that it had silenced all fears and inhibitions I’d had, and now, I was sitting in my room surrounded by dozens of sketches of the hopeful future and working on the first of many paintings that all ponies could see and admire, not for the quality of their technical execution, but for the power of their message.

I worked tirelessly for hours. With no other duties and engagements waiting for me today, I could devote my whole self into creating as many pieces of dreamlike art as I wanted! I’d barely even taken a break to go water my flowers, and for probably the first time ever, I felt little remorse over neglecting to spend more time with them than had taken for the water to be poured out of the pitcher; I knew I’d make it up to them later, but for now, the paintings were a priority!

By mid-afternoon, I’d finished the landscape of the hive and its surroundings as they had been in the dream, a portrait of a changeling tending to flowers, and one of a changeling and a pony sitting on a park bench, engaged in a conversation. I was about to begin painting a group of ponies and changelings chasing a ball in a meadow when a knock on my door interrupted me.

I set down the paintbrush and went to the door. Mercury was waiting in the hallway.

“Oh good,” she said. “I wasn’t sure if you were here!”

“I guess I am,” I chuckled.

“Nopony’s seen you since morning…”

“Yeah, I was a little busy.”

“Oh. Am I interrupting?”

“Not really. I didn’t realize I needed to stretch my legs until you knocked. Can I help you?”

“No, I’m just here to deliver your mail.” She took a parcel off her back and gave it to me. “Have a nice day!”

“Thanks, you too!”

The postal stamp was from Ponyville, and the address was written in an ornate script that looked a lot like Rarity’s hornwriting. I tore up the parcel’s outer wrapping and once again found an envelope attached to the lid of the box inside. It contained two sheets of paper. I unfolded the first one.

A promise? What had she meant by that? I was itching to open the box and find out, but Spike’s letter was arguably more important.

I couldn’t believe it! I was finally going to see Spike again soon, maybe even this weekend! But what had he and Rarity meant about the contents of the box? I decided it was about time I opened it already.

I was in the process of doing that when Cadance and Shining showed up at my door, which I’d forgotten to close in my eagerness to open the parcel.

“Are we disturbing?” Shining asked.

“Um, not at all… I was just opening this package from Ponyville…”

“Is it from Rarity again?”

“Yes, how did you know?”

“She promised to sew you some clothes, didn’t she? That mare has never missed an opportunity to make an outfit! I wonder what she came up with this time?”

I finally opened the box and pulled out something black and something white. A fancy jacket, apparently, and a matching shirt. Oh, and there was some peculiar red ribbon in the mix too! I wondered what it was for…

“A tuxedo!” Cadance exclaimed. “She said she’d make you one!”

“This is a tuxedo? Hmm… I think I remember some ponies wearing such things in…” I gulped. “Canterlot…”

“You sound like we’re going to fry you for mentioning that you’ve been there. Haven’t we made it clear that there’s nothing to be afraid of?”

“Uh, I guess…”

“Well then.” Cadance took the clothes in her magic and held them in mid-air. “Try it on!”

I fumbled a little while trying to figure out the proper procedure for dressing up in this. It was a little more complicated than the winter coat, but I got there eventually. Rarity had once again gotten my size perfectly!

“What’s this for?” I asked in the end, holding up the red ribbon.

“It’s called a bow tie,” Cadance explained. “It goes around your neck.”

I tied it up and they burst into laughter.

“Not like that, Thorax,” Shining said. “‘Around the neck’ means under the shirt collar, and then you… uh, I forgot the next step…”

Cadance rolled her eyes slightly and snickered. “Why is it that stallions always have a problem with that thing? Here, let me help.” She grabbed the ends of the bow tie in her magic and twisted and tangled them around each other in some peculiar way that I had a hard time following and definitely wouldn’t be able to repeat on my own, but the end result proved that she knew exactly what she was doing.

“Wow,” I muttered.

“Wait till you see yourself in the mirror,” Shining said.

I approached the smoothest crystally wall I could see and was stunned with my own reflection! The tuxedo fit me better than it would have had I morphed it onto myself, and I realized just now how expensive the fabrics looked! If I didn’t know better, I really could pass off as a high-society gentlecolt… uh, gentledrone? Gentleling? What would be the appropriate term, anyway?

“When you’re done admiring yourself,” Shining nudged me, “there’s something we came to tell you.”

There was nothing in his voice or love aura to suggest trouble, but I snapped out of my trance instantly and got serious anyway.

“Relax, it isn’t bad news!” Cadance assured me. “We just got a letter from Princess Celestia. She’s planning to make an official visit to the Crystal Empire soon. We haven’t set the date yet, though it’ll probably be sometime next week or the week after that.”

“Oh. You want me to stay out of the way, I take it?”

“On the contrary, she’s hoping to meet you.”

How I’d managed to remain in my own form and standing upright at that moment, I would never know.

“She what?!” I half-whispered, half-squeaked.

“Her letter included an addendum addressed to you.” She gave me a scroll. “I think it’ll answer your questions.”

I sat down and accepted the scroll. My hooves shook as I attempted to open it, but helping myself with fangs felt disrespectful so I struggled a little longer than I might have with a scroll from anypony else. I managed to get it to cooperate eventually and took a deep breath before starting to read.

I remained sitting there for a moment longer, staring blankly at the scroll, somehow managing not to drop it in the process. Princess Celestia, the leader of one of the most powerful enemies of my kind, wanted to meet me, a lowly, insignificant drone? Not only that, but she admired me and wanted me to be her ally? I couldn’t wrap my mind around it! Me, an ally to such a powerful individual? Me admired by the leader of a nation so filled with love? It was uncanny!

“Well?” Cadance asked.

“I… I can’t believe it…”

“I know you’ll make a great impression!”

“You read this, didn’t you?”

“No, but she told me the gist of it in my portion of the letter. Don’t worry, Thorax, you’ll do fine!”

“If you say so- Oh no.”

“What now?” Shining asked.

“What if Chrysalis finds out about this? There have to be infiltrators in Canterlot! If they find out where Celestia is going and why-”

“Relax, we always have increased security for royal visits! Besides, Celestia comes here every so often. She’s Cady’s aunt and there’s nothing strange about visiting family. You’re not the only reason for her visit this time, and I’m sure she’ll take precautions against any undetected infiltrators finding out where you are.”

“But what if she fails?”

“I’ll start working on the strategy to deal with that-”

“Shining, dear,” Cadance interjected. “I’m not sure if military action is the right answer here.”

“What do you mean? My troops can fight any changeling swarm!”

“Yes, I know, and I’m sure they’d do a great job if it comes to that, but it’s only a temporary measure. You can keep security increased for a while, but not forever, and I don’t think Thorax would want to spend the rest of his life surrounded with bodyguards like he was earlier. What will happen when you inevitably leave him alone? Or what if Chrysalis replaces one or more of your soldiers with disguised drones?”

“You’re right, there was a fake sergeant in Salt Lick City not that long ago… Any suggestions?”

“None yet. Thorax, can you detect if someone is a changeling in disguise?”

“No. No changeling can.”

“And how good is your magic?”

“Only good enough to shapeshift, but pretty much useless beyond that. I can’t even levitate objects.”

“Then there’s little point in teaching you defensive spells,” Shining mused. “You used your fangs against another drone once and it worked, right? Could you do it again if you had to?”

“Maybe, if I get the chance, which I probably won’t because I’m no good at fighting. That one time was pure luck.”

They were both silent for a moment.

“We could tell Celestia that you’re too concerned for your life to risk meeting her…” Cadance suggested.

“I’d hate to disappoint her, and let’s face it, I’ll have to come out of hiding sooner or later anyway if I want to introduce friendship to my kind and have ponies ready to accept the change. I didn’t expect it to start happening so soon but… well, I have a chance to take a big step towards that goal and who knows when I’ll get another, or if I’ll get one at all! Besides, there’s nothing stopping Chrysalis from tracking me down and killing me regardless of Princess Celestia. What if this is the only chance I’ll ever get to reach out to the whole nation?”

“It isn’t the only chance, Thorax; you’ve been doing it for months now just by being here!” She looked at the sketches and paintings I’d made today, strewn about the room. “And you keep finding new ways to do it every day. But I do agree that talking to Celestia would indeed be a significant step forward.”

“But we’ll all understand if you’re not comfortable with taking it yet,” Shining added. “You have so much to offer to the world and we’d hate to lose you!”

“Thank you, both of you,” I said and meant it. “But if we’re to look at it that way, it’ll always feel too soon. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t afraid, but as long as Chrysalis sits at the changeling throne, I’ll be in danger, maybe even if I do succeed in getting plenty of drones to accept friendship. I’ll never have the luxury to be able to stop looking over my shoulder, so if I’m a dead bug anyway, so to speak, why not go all out?” I chuckled sheepishly. “Besides, I have a tuxedo to wear to a formal occasion.”

They both laughed.

“Fair enough,” Cadance said. “Well, whatever you decide, I’ll be writing to Celestia tomorrow morning to suggest the particulars of her visit, in case you want to add a reply of your own. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

“I will!” I looked at my sketches. “Do you think she’ll be interested in my paintings too? I doubt that my skill is good enough to be displayed in a palace, but do you think she’d like me to give her one? Or would that be rude if the painting isn’t a masterpiece?”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Thorax. She’ll love your art! Though, if you’re feeling awkward about it, why don’t you show her what you’ve made and then give her the one she likes most?”

“Good idea, Princess! I think I’ll do that!”

When they left, I sat at the table, moved the sketches and canvases and the rest out of the way, and grabbed some writing paper and ink.