Spike and Rarity trod silently down the cobblestone street, neither uttering a word to one another as they did so. The atmosphere was tense, and neither dragon nor unicorn seemed overly willing to start a conversation. Despite this they walked close to one another, with Spike taking the lead and directing them towards the distant shape of Sugarcube Corner.
Behind them hung the morning sun, its subdued illumination casting long shadows down the street. Which was itself darkened by seldom few ponies or other creatures, save for the earliest of risers. Some were jogging, others were trotting to their job, most didn't acknowledge the pair but a few said hello or gave a solemn nod in passing.
A good thing too, as neither Spike nor Rarity were feeling particularly sociable this morning. The fight the night before still weighed heavily on the pair, despite how well they had managed to patch things up. The tense air continued to hover over them until at long last they drew close to the bakery and could smell the freshly made bread.
Spike reached for the door, but his hoof stopped midway to the handle, his attention fixed on his reflection. His black eye had gotten worse since the day before, becoming an angry swollen mass that didn't seem to be going away any time soon. The sight made Spike wince, and want to head back to the boutique in order to cover it, though he thought better of it.
His shade hat would have to be enough.
“Is everything alright darling?” Rarity inquired.
“I’m getting quite the shiner is all,” Spike remarked, turning his head to the side.
“Oh yes, would you look at that,” Rarity winced. “Are you sure you don't want me to apply some concealer or something?”
“It's a little late for that. Besides its just Pinkie Pie,” Spike replied.
“I suppose,” Rarity admitted. “I would hate for someone to think that I had done that.”
“But you did do this,” Spike retorted.
Rarity sighed. “You know what I mean.”
“I think so, but either way let's go talk to Pinkie Pie before she gets busy with customers,” Spike offered.
“Of course,” Rarity exclaimed, grabbing the door handle and pulling it open.
Spike strode into the bakery and immediately filled his nostrils with the delicious scents waiting for him. Donuts, fresh pie, bread, cinnamon buns, he wanted it all, though the unicorn resisted his urges for the moment. He would have time to indulge later, when Rarity wasn't watching him like a hawk and counting every calorie he ate.
“Oh hey you two, congratulations,” Pumpkin Cake exclaimed.
The young mare leaned against the cash register with a smile on her face and an eager glint in her eyes. Now old enough to vote and drink, Pumpkin Cake seemed every bit the competent baker that her parents had hoped for. A few patches of her voluminous pumpkin orange mane were covered with flour, though for the most part her appearance was perfectly orderly.
“Yeah what she said,” Pound Cake muttered.
Unlike his sister, Pound Cake barely appeared alive at first glance, the male laying half on the table with his head to the side. His long brown mane was a mess, and likely hadn't seen a brush in days or even weeks at that point. The rest of his appearance wasn't much better however and he began to snore loudly only a few seconds after greeting the pair.
“Don't mind him. My brother’s not much of a morning pony,” Pumpkin Cake offered, leaning in close. “Oh and are you alright Spike? Looks like you got a bit of a black eye coming along.”
“It's nothing. Rarity just punched me,” Spike remarked with a shrug.
Rarity sputtered. “I didn't- it was an accident. We were just-”
“Woah there. This seems like a simple misunderstanding, right Spike?” Pumpkin replied.
Spike nodded. “It's a long story, but it's no one's fault.”
Rarity sighed and gently bumped her hips against Spike’s side. “Don't tease me like that,” she warned.
“So, I assume you’ve heard of our predicament then?” Spike offered.
Pumpkin Cake nodded. “I have, that and your engagement. Congrats again by the way. Let me guess, it was Spike who finally popped the question?”
“With his cursed rings,” Rarity declared.
“Augh how was I supposed to know?” Spike shouted, throwing his forehooves in the air.
“Because you were in a bad area of town, there were several warnings placed around the store indicating that his stock was mostly cursed and-” Rarity’s tired was abruptly stopped when Spike stuffed his sun hat into her mouth.
“That's enough out of you,” Spike muttered.
Pumpkin Cake cleared her throat and flashed the pair an uneasy smile. “Well I don't mean to rush you guys but if I heard about it that means Pinkie Pie has as well and she’s probably pretty excited to talk to you.”
“An excellent idea Pumpkin, thank you,” Rarity replied after pulling the hat from her mouth and dropping it back on Spike’s head.
“She’s upstairs I presume?” Spike asked.
“Yup. You know where your going,” Pumpkin Cake answered.
“Lead the way,” Spike offered, extending a hoof.
“Your just saying that because you want to look at my butt,” Rarity retorted, wagging her tail as she walked over to the stairs.
“Augh I am not gay,” Spike muttered bitterly.
“Its not gay, darling. It's masturbation,” Rarity shot back.
Spike groaned. “We are not having this argument again.”
Rarity giggled. “Have it your way dear.”
The pair walked up the stairs and over to the entrance of Pinkie Pie’s room, with Spike raising a hoof and knocking twice.
“Just a minuuuute!” Pinkie Pie yelled from within.
“Strange. I would have thought Pinkie Pie would have been with one of her partners, rather than here,” Spike remarked.
“If there's one thing Pinkie Pie takes more seriously than parties, it's baking,” Rarity reasoned.
The door burst open and a grinning Pinkie Pie emerged, quickly wrapping the couple in her hooves.
“Oh my gosh, it's so good to see you guys!” exclaimed the earth pony while attempting to squish the pair into a single mass of pulped muscle and crushed bone.
“Need. Air!” Spike wheezed.
“Oopsie daisy. Sorry about that,” Pinkie Pie replied after dropping the couple.
“It's fine,” Spike replied between breaths.
Rarity smiled. “And it is wonderful to see you too Pinkie Pie. Have you been busy?”
“Like you wouldn't believe!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed, falling backwards onto a desk and backflipping into her office chair. “I’ve thrown more parties this year than I can count. Well I could count them all but that would be boooring.”
“No kidding. You’d be here all day,” Spike remarked, tapping the desk sitting in the middle of the room. “This is new.”
“Well my parties are a business, so I have to have a business desk, and a business chair,” Pinkie Pie replied. “It even spins, look!”
The pair watched as the eternally youthful Pinkie Pie spun her chair in a circle a dozen times before stopping on a dime.
“Speaking of business. Have you hired a party planner because I know one that's freeee,” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
The mare looked away as she pulled out a calendar and flipped it onto the first page, displaying it to the pair.
Nothing, nothing, oh and more nothing! Seriously, I’ve got nothing going on. Please please please let me organize your party! Declared the first three pages, with the words written across numerous days and weeks.
“Of course you’ve got the job Pinkie,” Spike declared. “In fact we were hoping to hear what ideas you had in mind for everything.”
“First I have to ask you a few questions,” Pinkie Pie began.
“Ask away darling,” Rarity replied.
Pinkie Pie pulled a large notebook from a drawer, inhaled deeply then suddenly stopped herself.
“Actually before we get to that would you two like some snacks? I did a little baking this morning,” Pinkie Pie offered, already skipping away from the desk.
“That would be great. Breakfast was light,” Spike remarked while clutching his empty stomach.
“I must regretfully agree with Spike on this one. Porridge just doesn't do it for me anymore,” Rarity added. “You don't have to feed us though darling. I’m sure we can find something later.”
“Nonsense! I had a feeling you were feeling a bit peckish and had not been turned into a chicken,” Pinkie Pie shouted from across the room.
“Chiken?” Spike whispered.
“Pekish, chicken,” Rarity replied, miming the action of pecking at the ground.
“Ooooh,” Spike muttered.
“Here we are. A bear claw with honey for our not dragon, and one with ground up quartz for our resident fire breather,” Pinkie Pie stated while depositing two small plates in front of the couple.
“This is exactly what I was hungry for,” Spike stated.
Rarity chuckled. “You’ve gotten pretty good with that Pinkie sense of yours.”
“It's a gift,” Pinkie Pie replied with a shrug.
The two immediately began to dig in while Pinkie Pie silently drew up a contract, pulled a file from a nearby cabinet, and retreived a pair of pens for the couple.
“Now I was initially going to ask you like a bajillion questions, but then I remembered that I already planned out your wedding party in case of any magical body swapping shenanigans,” PInkie Pie declared, tapping the folder.
“Contingency plan number thirty seven for Sparity,” Rarity read aloud. “You had thirty seven plans? What were they for?”
“Oh I had way more than thirty seven,” Pinkie exclaimed. “And to answer your second question, lots of things. One or both of you spontaneously becoming alicorns. Rarity turned out to be a changengeling queen or if Spike was secretly a demon. Tons of stuff!”
“Wait, so were those all wedding plans for if those things happened?” Spike asked.
Pinkie Pie bobbed her head. “Yupperoni! Who am I to get in the way of love?”
“I mean, I guess,” Spike muttered.
“Well I think it's adorable,” Rarity interrupted. “Thank you darling.”
“Oh gosh, it's no trouble at all. I haven't been able to plan a party of this kind since that whole debacle in Las Pegasus,” Pinkie Pie exclaimed.
“And didn't you plan all the divorce parties too?” Spike inquired.
Pinkie Pie giggled. “Yuppers! That was kinda fun though.”
“I suppose you’d at least get a second party out of it,” Rarity mused.
“Yeah but that's not happening with you guys,” Pinkie Pie declared, pushing the folder across the table. “But enough chatting. I gotta hear what you think of my plan.”
“Very well darling. Let's see here and… oh my. How did you know which venue we had chosen?” Rarity asked, pointing to the place name written at the top of the page.
“Oh I didn't know for sure. I just had a feeling. I also made a couple other sub plans in which case you chose something else,” Pinkie Pie explained, pulling out a dozen thinner vanilla folders stuffed with paper.
“That's intense. You really are ready for anything,” Spike muttered.
“All but a false vacuum event. That one’s been puzzling me,” Pinkie Pie replied.
“Err okay then… Well, let us review what she has for us, hmm?” Rarity offered, leaning in close to the unicorn and opening the folder a little wider.
“Yes let's start with… oh wow that's a good itinerary,” Spike muttered.
“Very safe, yet still experimental,” Rarity added.
“Thanks!” Pinkie Pie happily chirped.
“And this restaurant choice,” Spike murmured.
“Inspired,” Rarity exclaimed.
The couple offered several monosylibic remarks on Pinkie Pie’s plan while remaining mostly quiet. Occupied by reading, and muching on their baked goods, Rarity as well as Spike found themselves transfixed by what they beheld.
“You’ve covered everything,” Spike declared after they had reached the final page.
“Yes, quite. Including me spontaneously turning into a cucumber five minutes before the ceremony,” Rarity added.
“Whoops, wrong one,” Pinkie Pie muttered, switching out the folder for another near identical one that was only missing two paragraphs at the very end.
“Well I don't know about you darling. But that seems just about perfect,” Rarity remarked, turning to Spike.
Who nodded. “I agree. The entire thing is just so us, ya know?”
“Quite,” Rarity agreed.
“Soo does that sound like a plan or what?” Pinkie Pie offered.
“Where do we sign?” Spike asked, looking around the table.
“Just right here, oh and that's just a standard waiver. Covers you under my insurance plan in case something goes wrong during the party such as, but not limited to,” Pinkie Pie paused long enough to take a breath. “Eating too much cheese cake. Eating too little cheesecake. Tripping on the dance floor and breaking your spine. Drinking so much you pass out while inspecting your priceless antique vase and accidentally smashing it. Among other things.”
“Those are… oddly specific and there are so many of them,” Rarity remarked.
“Have you ever had anyone cash in due to one of those clauses?”
“A few. My insurance agent didn't know about Pinkie sense when we first drew up the contract,” Pinkie Pie whispered conspiratorily.
“No wonder they allowed you so many specific events,” Rarity replied.
Spike turned the contract over and read a few lines, whistling to himself. “Once more you have impressed me Pinkie Pie. You’re the only mare I know who's prepared for the possibility of a velociraptor related incident.”
“It pays to be prepared,” PInkie Pie remarked with a shrug.
“Indeed. So,” Rarity clapped her hands together. “Is there anything else you need from us?”
“Noper doper!” Pinkie Pie answered.
“Then we had best sign this then,” Spike declared as he did just that, with Rarity swiftly following his example. “There we go.”
“Thanks guys! I won’t let you down!” Pinkie Pie heartily promised, giving the couple a quick salute.
“We know you won't,” Rarity replied.
“You are the best in the bizz after all,” Spike added.
“Daww thanks! Now, I got a feeling that you got a bunch more stuff to do so why don't you guys take a doggy bag and go be productive!” Pinkie Pie half asked, half ordered, the mare shoving a pair of small brown bags into their hands/forehooves.
“If you’re sure there isn't anything else we need to know…” Spike muttered.
“Nope!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “You two just have a wonderful afternoon, alright?”
“Excellent thinking Pinkie Pie. Spike must work on the registry while I finish up a few orders I nearly forgot about,” Rarity stated, taking the bag and standing up from her seat.
“Are you sure that's a good idea given your new digits?” Spike pointedly asked.
“I will have to go slow, but I don't mind. It's good experience,” Rarity answered.
Spike shrugged, and stuffed his mouth with sugary goodness. “If you shay sho.”
“Don't talk with your mouthful darling,” Rarity admonished.
Spike merely rolled his eyes and continued to walk away.
Leaving a smiling Pinkie Pie standing at her desk, waving to Rarity and Spike as they walked away. The pair returned the gesture upon reaching the entrance to her room before heading off towards the main floor. With no one around, Pinkie Pie slowly reclined in her chair, a wide smile on her face as she stared up at the ceiling.
“Oh this is just perfect. If Spike and Rarity are pulling out all the stops for a fancy ceremony that means we aren't in the universe where they break up before the ceremony,” Pinkie Pie told the empty room, the mare pausing and scratching her chin. “Though that doesn't mean we aren't in the universe where they break up immediately after. Hmmm… I’ll have to reveiw my notes again.”
Pinkie Pie shrugged. “Ahh well. I was meaning to review the odds I had on Twilight and Trixie bumping uglies.”
“There. All done,” Spike stated, clicking the pen he had been using with a satisfying clack.
“What was that dear?” Rarity asked, stopping the constant thump of her sewing machine and glancing over its bulk.
“The registry is all done,” Spike replied, rising up from his desk and waving the sheet of paper over his head. “All I need to do now is deliver it to that retailer you like, and we should be all set.”
“Great. Would you mind grabbing a few things while you’re out?” Rarity asked, fishing out a list as well as a heaping pile of bits from her bag.
“I suppose I could do that much at least. You don't need much though, right?” Spike countered.
“No, not a lot. Just a few things for dinner is all,” Rarity answered, depositing a hefty bag in Spike’s hoof.
“Well as long as it isn't a lot. You know I’m not a fan of being you in public,” Spike replied.
Rarity waved a dismissive hand without looking away from her sewing machine. “It won't be much darling. I’ll see you soon!”
Spike sighed as the machine began to slowly whir into motion, cutting off his reply before he could utter it. Whatever. It can't be that bad, right?
“This is horrible,” Spike muttered as he slowly pushed an absolutely packed cart of food and stationary down the aisle. “I really should have read the list before I got to the store.”
Sweat poured down the unicorn’s face, inadvertently ruining the minimal makeup Rarity had applied on him after returning from the bakery. The most notible thing to be marred by sweat was the eyeshadow which ran in long thin rivers, making it look like Spike had been crying recently. It also caused his shiner to be even more apparent, the conceler which had been hiding it having melted away.
Unaware of any of this, Spike continued to push his cart down the aisle, stopping in front of a large display of flour. He had never really looked at all the brands before, at least in detail anyway, so he wasn't sure what to get.
“Arrowhead mills, White Lily? King Arthur’s unbleached all purpose? What's the difference?” Spike muttered to himself as he looked from one brand to another.
“Would you like a hoof finding something, miss?” asked a young male voice.
Spike sighed, and decided not to correct the male, as by then he was too impatient to even be annoyed.
“Yeah, could you tell me which one of these flours is best for cookies?” Spike asked, turning to the colt staring down at him. “My fiance is planning on making some but the bag we had got left out on the table for so long that it was all black and blue.”
“Oh absolutely. I think you’ll find that…” The colt stared intently at Spike’s eye. “Are you alright ma’am?”
“Just dandy,” Spike dismissed. “Now I noticed you guys don't have any larger containers of eggs in the other aisle. Do you think there are some in the back? Cus my fiance really enjoys whipping a few eggs in the morning.”
“Oh really?” the colt muttered dumly.
“Totally,” Spike replied. “They really lay on that beater, tells me it's therapeutic. I really should try it as well sometime, but I always seem to mess things up whenever I cook.”
“Uh huh, ma’am are you sure you’re okay?” inquired the other male.
“Well I did trip down the stairs a few hours ago, but I’ve taken harder knocks then that,” Spike exclaimed, clopping a hoof against the side of his head.
The colt paused, filled his chest with air and then shouted “Security!” At the top of his lungs.