Sunset Shimmer's words caught me up short, and despite my shock, I couldn't help but raise my brows in bemusement. We'd only met just the once and only for a brief moment. We hadn't even said a single word to each other, let alone had any kind of history, and yet here the mare was acting like I was some old frenemy she hadn't seen in ages.
"You... remember me?" I asked uncertainly.
"Of course I do," Sunset replied, willing away the two clipboards and the cup of coffee in her hand with a pale blue flash of her horn. She fully turned to face me, crossing her arms and giving me an assessing sort of look as she spoke, "you're the little tenderhoof they got to replace me back in Canterlot. Why wouldn't I remember you?"
Normally I would've given some kind of flustered denial of the fact, but something about the way she looked at me made me frown instead. Her words were blunt and matter-of-fact, and that, combined with her dismissive expression poked at my nerves. It was like she was judging me and found me wanting and unable to live up to her expectations.
"Well," I replied after a moment, "I'd like to think I was hired based on my own merits and not just as a replacement."
Sunset's lips quirked up in a slight smirk.
"Oh, I don't doubt that," she replied with a small chuckle, "they don't just hire any amateur researcher off the streets. I'm sure you've got the brains for the job, Sparkle..." her condescending grin grew another inch, "but that doesn't mean you weren't a replacement."
I furrowed my brow and was about to protest further, but the other mare spoke again before I could, waving the matter away with a dismissive flick of her hand.
"Oh relax, I'm not bitter or anything," she paused, then shrugged, "well, not anymore. I've had plenty of time to get over myself about the whole thing, and besides... this place kinda grows on you after a while."
Based on her earlier assertion, I was highly doubtful that she'd put the past behind her entirely, but Sunset's last comment surprised me. For the briefest of moments, I swore I could see her smirk shift to something more genuine, but the moment passed so quickly I couldn't have been sure it wasn't just my imagination. Before I could comment, she was leaning back against one of the shelves near the door she'd entered from and regarding me coolly.
"So, has the big hero of the rookies deigned to grace us lowly commoners with her assistance?"
Despite the many questions I wanted to ask about Sunset Shimmer and what she'd done and why she was here in Ponyville, I couldn't help but raise an exasperated look to the ceiling above and groan at her words.
"Not you too," I groused, "all I did was throw a flash grenade! Something anypony could've done!" I sigh and crossed my arms and looked away, a bit self-conscious, "that wasn't even what made it run off like it did. If the Cannibal really wanted to attack us, I wouldn't have been able to do anything to stop it."
Sunset hummed in thought a moment before giving a single nod to herself as if coming to some conclusion.
"Yeah, I figured it was something like that," she said, pushing herself off the shelf and giving me a look that was something close to, but not quite, pity, "these ponies love to talk about stuff they don't know anything about, but hey, at least all the rumors about you paint you in a positive light."
I frowned.
"What are you... oh, right," I winced, realizing what she must've been referring to, "I didn't mean to... I mean, I—"
"No, it's cool, I get it," Sunset interjected with another wave of her hand, "yeah, it was a pain in the flank at first, but I got used to it. I mean, it's not like most of the rumors weren't true."
My eyes widened in horror at the mare's self-incrimination. It was a month or so after my initial meeting with Sunset that I'd gotten the details of what she had tried to do from Moon Dancer. I hadn't quite believed it back then and hadn't really seen anything to back up the claims. Looking back though, I think it was more that I hadn't wanted to believe the rumors.
True or not, I was surprised to hear that those very same rumors had apparently somehow managed to follow Sunset Shimmer all the way to Ponyville. Even more surprising was to hear that the rumors were true—and to hear it straight from the pony's mouth no less. I was so taken off guard and horrified by the admittance that I opened my mouth before I could stop myself.
"Wait, you mean you really did try to—"
"Create a more effective weapon against the Avidaeos? I certainly did," Sunset cut in with no hint of shame or regret in her voice, "and I would've succeeded too, but alas, I was branded a madmare and thrown out of Canterlot on my flank before I could get any real work done."
"Sunset," I replied with deliberate slowness, "you wanted to inject Hive Cells directly into unborn foals. How could you not expect that kind of backlash from other scientists and the public?"
I hesitated a moment before continuing. To be honest, I get where Sunset was coming from. I understood what she wanted to accomplish and had even thought about such methods myself. I knew how groundbreaking her theory was and how tremendous the benefits would be if she was able to achieve the outcome she'd envisioned when she proposed her thesis. I knew all of that, but there were reasons I had immediately pushed the idea aside.
There were reasons her thesis was rejected outright. There were reasons she was branded a madmare for even suggesting such a thing and was no doubt reassigned to a place where she probably had far fewer resources at her disposal.
"Not only was your idea unethical, but it was risky. Way too risky. The risk involved makes even the lowest compatibility rates for Daeification seem far more preferable in comparison," I shook my head sadly, "nopony wants to take that kind of chance, not when our remaining population is stretched so thin, never mind how immoral such an experiment would be."
What I left unsaid—couldn't bear to mention, rather—was that she had tried to go through with the experiment in secret anyway. That was what truly horrified me. That was the real reason for her reassignment, or so the rumors said. Thankfully, according to Moon Dancer, she'd never actually gotten the experiment off the ground before she was caught and shipped off to Ponyville.
To hear that she had actually attempted to do something so horrible...
I'm honestly surprised she still has a job given the circumstances, but from what I understand, the mare does have a brilliant mind. I guess the top brass didn't want somepony like her to go to waste?
"Oh boy, you're gonna be a joy to work with, I can tell," Sunset muttered with an exasperated shake of her head. "look, I've heard all the arguments, okay? I know the risks better than anypony and contrary to what everypony thinks, I already accounted for those risks. I made contingency plans, I had all my bucking ducks in a row! I crossed my t's and dotted my i's but nopony sees that!"
The mare was spitting angrily now, her hands clenched into fists at her sides and her eyes blazing with indignation. It was clear from her distant gaze that she was lost in the past, her rant directed not at me anymore, but at some poor pony she'd probably told this exact same thing to. I didn't think she was even aware at that moment just how much the past was still affecting her, despite what she said to the contrary.
"It's not like I stole some expecting mother off the streets," she continued, "I made sure she knew what she was getting into. She knew, and she was willing to go along with it. She was willing, but nopony wants to acknowledge that minor detail."
She snorted derisively but then fell silent. After a moment and—much to my surprise—her expression suddenly grew somber. As Sunset fumed, I started to wonder if she really was telling the truth. Throughout it all I still had my doubts but when she spoke again, her next words put those lingering doubts to rest.
"She was willing to risk the life of her own unborn foal for the sake of a better future," she said in a near whisper. Her eyes grew glossy, but there was strength beneath the quiet sorrow in her voice, "some ponies might've called it inequine or repugnant, what she was prepared to do—probably a lot of ponies actually—but that's not how we saw it..."
Things were moving in a direction I hadn't expected and I wasn't really sure how to handle what I was hearing. The emotion was there in her words—unmistakable, entirely genuine, and honestly a bit startling. In a matter of moments, I found myself looking at Sunset Shimmer in a new light and I didn't know what to make of the situation. I suddenly had a lot more questions.
I wanted to know more about what happened, but it didn't really seem appropriate to ask about it. I felt a little like I was listening in on a conversation I wasn't supposed to hear.
"Sunset," I began after what felt like an eternity of awkward silence, "I... um... look, I didn't mean to—"
"Don't gimme that look, Sparkle," Sunset groaned. She swept a hand across her face and gave an irritated sigh, "damn it, this is why I don't like talking about it. I get all worked up and... ugh!" she grunted in annoyance and shot me a scathing glare, "this conversation never happened, got it?"
"Conversation?" I replied, quickly raising my hands up in conciliation, "what conversation? We've just met as far I know."
If she wants to move on and act as if nothing happened, I have absolutely no complaints.
She narrowed her eyes but nodded in satisfaction a second later.
"Smart mare," she replied, her easy—and slightly amused—smirk back in place. She nodded over to one of the many stocked shelves, "you're here for volunteer work, right? Grab a box and meet me up front. I think we've wasted enough time back here."
As Sunset spoke, her horn lit up and two of the larger supply boxes flew from the shelves and made their way over to where she stood. I watched it all happen for a moment, a pang of bitterness and envy rising in my chest at the display of magic. I'd been distracted by the mare's sudden appearance before, but now that the shock had worn off, I was reminded that lifting even one of those boxes might've very well been beyond me now.
I cast my longing gaze from the boxes Sunset held in her pale blue aura to the shelf she'd gestured to earlier. With a frown and a brow furrowed in concentration, I tried to pull out one of the boxes with my own magic. Using my magic after the Daeification was like trying to push water through a knotted hose. It was like straining a muscle you hadn't used in a long time to its limit.
It was a horribly unpleasant experience... but I found I could do it.
It took just about every bit of magic I had in my now significantly reduced mana wellspring, but the box eventually found its way into my hands. I stood there for a moment, the supply box held in sweating palms and panting with exertion. I was about to bemoan my circumstances again for what felt like the hundredth time, but then I noticed something.
While I was exhausted, I didn't exactly feel drained like I did when I first tried to use my magic after Daeification. Yes, using magic was a lot more difficult now and I imagined using more complex spells would take their toll. Yes, I had to fight to pull every bit of magic I could from my wellspring, but when I focused on my mana consumption I found something surprising.
The best way I could describe it would be to start with the thaumic wellspring—or the magic or mana wellspring for the laypony. A unicorn's wellspring is a bit difficult to describe to creatures that don't have one. Pegasi and earth ponies have thaumic 'veins' that channel thaumic energy through their bodies, sort of like how blood vessels work. Unicorns, on the other hand, don't have veins but rather a thaumic 'core' called a wellspring.
A thaumic wellspring isn't an actual physical organ like a heart or the lungs and thaumic veins aren't actual veins either for that matter. If you were to cut a pony open, you wouldn't be able to physically see either of these things and yet they exist and can be studied nevertheless. The biggest difference between thaumic veins and thaumic wellsprings is that thaumic veins form highly complex pathways in the body.
A wellspring doesn't use pathways to transmit thaumic energy. Instead, that thaumic energy is pulled directly from the wellspring by way of the horn atop a unicorn's head. The horn acts as a conduit for thaumic energy and the amount of thaumic energy that can be held in or pulled from the wellspring is determined by various factors such as age, health, genetics, and both internal and external thaumic interference among many other things. Thaumic veins are also affected by many of these factors, but not always in the same way.
And then there's the Daeification process.
For reasons that are still being studied, Hive Cells have a tendency to react badly to the thaumic field, or rather, the thaumic field reacts badly to Hive Cells. The thaumic energy in a given area is often either attacked violently or rejected outright whenever Hive Cells are introduced. The effect this has on the ambient thaumic field surrounding the planet is that the energy is usually broken down or scattered.
This isn't particularly a problem because the thaumic field is self-sustaining and can restore itself indefinitely. This is, however, the reason why magic by itself doesn't work against the Avidaeos. We learned that horrific lesson ages ago and paid dearly for the attempt. We also learned through some truly harrowing trial and error that there are exceptions, particularly when it comes to thaumic energy within the equine body.
Setting aside how Hive Cells affect the body physically, the thaumic effect of Hive Cell integration actually varies from pony to pony somewhat. Once Hive Cells are injected into the equine body, any thaumic veins or wellsprings are attacked and either destroyed completely or crippled beyond use... usually. There are many cases where some ponies, such as myself, could still maintain use of their magic, albeit in a severely limited capacity.
It's not entirely understood why these exceptions exist, but there are theories. The thaumic energy that flows in the veins and wellsprings of ponies is far more condensed than what you'd find floating around in the ambient thaumic field. That density and the overall potency of thaumic energy are also affected by the factors I mentioned previously. Many thaumatologists believe this to be the reason why Hive Cells aren't always able to completely destroy or cripple thaumic veins or wellsprings.
Of course, the rules and effects are different for every species, but I'm not really an expert when it comes to any of the other creatures outside of ponykind. There was something strange at play where I was concerned though, and I didn't realize it until just now. I hadn't tried to use my magic since the one time just after my Daeification for fear of something going wrong, but something had definitely changed between then and now.
Before, it felt like my magic was disconnected, a separate entity that refused to cooperate when called upon. But when I tried to use it just now, the feeling was completely different. I could feel the connection to my own wellspring just as I had before my Daeification. The sensation, like I was forcing that thaumic energy through a knotted hose, that hadn't been the case before.
It was still difficult to use magic, but now the reason was completely different. It didn't feel like I was trying to pull thaumic energy from a wellspring unwilling to give up even the tiniest bit of magic. Now it felt like my wellspring was trying to push against an alien force trying to block the innate connection between it and the conduit that was my horn. I didn't even know if that made sense, but I didn't know how else to describe the sensation.
What the hay does this even mean?
"Pretty impressive that you can still use magic, but yeesh... that's gotta suck."
The sudden comment snapped me out of my thoughts and it took a second to get my bearings back. I blinked and looked over to Sunset, who was still waiting by the door she'd originally come through with the two boxes still held in her magic. Her words and expression were both as matter-of-fact and unsympathetic as when she'd first spoken. When she finally caught my eye she gestured to the box in my hands and continued.
"That right there is why I never bothered with the whole Daeus Hunter thing," she said with no small amount of disdain, "but from what I hear, you didn't have a choice did you, little miss conscript?"
"No," I replied sourly, "no I didn't."
"Well, I suppose you can still work your way around a test tube," she crossed her arms and shrugged, "gonna be pretty inconvenient though."
"That reminds me," I tilted my head and frowned at Sunset, "I'm pretty sure I already know the answer at this point, but... you wouldn't happen to be part of Doctor Whooves' team, would you?"
"What gave it away? The stylish lab coat?" she snorted, "yeah, I'm part of Time Turner's research team. Guess that makes us colleagues now."
"I guess so," I said a little warily, "and what about the others? The Doctor said the team wasn't very big..."
"Nope, just you, me, the Doc, and two others," Sunset chuckled and turned to pull the door open. She started to head out, but stopped partway and turned to look back at me over her shoulder with an impish grin, "as for the other two... well, those two delightful mares should still be just outside waiting for us to finish up so we can all meet up with Time Turner."
I started to follow after her as she answered but stopped as I realized who she was talking about. She watched as my expression went from bemused and questioning to shocked and a little unnerved.
"Wait... are you talking about those creepy twins I saw when I came in?!"
She just laughed and continued out of the storage area to the warehouse beyond.