Applejack blinked, looking around in confusion as the quartet of ponies made their way up the path towards the door of the Golden Oak Library. The tree was an impressive site, an old growth Oak tree that was near as big around as the barn at Sweet Apple Acres, and a sight taller. Somewhere in the past, according to local legend at least, the tree had been struck by lightning, and the fire had gutted it, killing it. However, some great unicorn mage had blessed the tree, enchanting it with new life, even while it remained hollow on the inside.
The mage had gone on to make it his home, and through the centuries the 'building' had passed from one owner to another, until finally coming under ownership of the Ponyville Town Council, who had decided it would make an excellent landmark and library.
Of course, it hadn't been an active library for a while, as the former librarian, Footnote, had rather suddenly been offered a position working in the Canterlot Royal Archives a few months before. As such, the place had sat unoccupied until, Applejack presumed, Pinkie had cleaned the place up for her Welcome party the night before.
Speaking of Pinkie Pie . . .
Applejack glanced aside at the pronking, grinning mare, before turning, glancing over her shoulder at the other two ponies that had joined them. One she knew all too well, being Rarity. The stuck up, prissy owner/proprietor of the Carousel boutique, down by the market square. Applejack had often nodded a polite morning greeting to the mare when she'd go down every week to set up her stall, receiving a similarly polite and noncomittal nod in return.
She figured Rarity for an uppity bitch who liked to think she was better than everypony else, and made a big hullabaloo about nothing much at all. She'd fit right in, up in Canterlot , and the worst part was, the mare seemed to know it, making it no secret that she'd much rather be living up there with the 'sophisticated elite', rather than down here in the dirt. She always seemed a syllable away from making some comment about the 'mud ponies' and it got on Applejack's nerves, something fierce. However, the ivory unicorn had never actually said anything of the sort, so Applejack made herself be polite, even if doing so made her bile rise and her hackles too.
The other mare . . . Applejack didn't know her, although she'd met her a few times in town. The butter yellow pegasus was always so painfully quiet and submissive that Applejack felt awkward trying to speak to her.
Even now, she was plodding along, often having to be ushered forward by Pinkie, with her long, pink mane hanging down in front of her face like a curtain she was hiding behind. Rarity, meanwhile, was trotting along, a frown on her face, which deepend about the time Applejack felt herself starting to scowl in confusion.
The orange farm mare turned, slowing to a halt as she looked back up at the Golden Oak. "Pinkie." She said, while the pink mare continued rattling about something or other to do with an 'eh-yew', and that they needed to hurry up before they lost the script. Whatever all that meant.
"PINKIE!" She snapped again, and the pink mare froze up in mid air, before turning, dropping to the ground and trotting over. Applejack refused to question how she managed that, and instead pushed her hat up to her brow, so that the full force of her scowl could be brought to bear on the pink pony.
It had zero effect, best as she could tell, as Pinkie simply skipped up behind her, put her head down and started pushing. "COME ON, Applejack, we've gotta get to the Library before that meanie mean pants wins! They can't figure out where to go without us!"
Applejack snorted and shook her head. "Darnit, Pinkie, how in the hay did we get here?! And where'd these two come from?!" She growled, finally belting out the question that had been gnawing at her since the library had come into view.
Rarity sniffed and stamped a hoof in a ladylike fashion. "I concur with Applejack! Why, last I remember, I was trying to help clean up the mess that vicious monster made of my decor at town hall, and then suddenly I'm here! What is the meaning of this?!"
Applejack had been about to say something else, when Rarity's words made her blood run cold. "Monster? What . . . What monster?" She asked, turning and looking at the unicorn, who blinked her sapphire blues eyes at the farm mare.
"Why . . . Darling, you don't know?" Rarity said, before her frown turned sad. "A great beast of an alicorn! She attacked the celebration, and, by all appearances, has done something to Princess Celestia!"
Applejack's relief was fleeting, as the seriousness of what Rarity had said sunk in on her. She was about to respond when Pinkie suddenly popped up in between the two. "No time for another expository conversation!" The pink mare snapped, grabbing them both with her hooves and pushing them towards the library, much to the consternation of both mares.
Fluttershy made a quiet attempt to sneak off, only for the pink mare's tail to snag her and drag her along as well, the shy mare's only attempt at argument a soft 'eep'.
As they entered the library, Applejack's first thought was that it somehow managed to feel both bigger and more cozy than one would expect, with shelves lining every wall two or even three ponies high in some places, stocked with every kind of book imagineable. Everything was all raw, natural wood, with a spiral staircase that looked like it was made of twisting branches and limbs leading up to a sectioned off loft area, along with a reading nook or three.
The second thing she thought was that there were an awful lot of the books in the floor, rather than in their places on the shelves.
And the third thing she thought was that Rainbow Dash kind of looked good hanging upside down inside a bubble of soft pink magic, about ten feet off the floor.
The cyan pegasus flailed about in her magical prison, striking the shield with her hooves, sending little ripples through the surface, but otherwise having no real effect on it. "Let me go, ya fuckin' spy!" She growled, before catching sight of Applejack and the others. "AJ! Get her! She's a spy!"
Applejack sniffed, pushing a shaggy lock of her mane out of her eyes and lifted an eyebrow, glancing aside at the mare who was holding the pegasus prisoner. Twilight looked more annoyed than anything, and was glaring up at Dash with a look that spoke volumes. She looked over at the farm mare, and Applejack saw her face flicker as she regsitered how dirty and disheveled she was. "I'm not a spy!" She snapped, angrily, focusing on the here and now.
"What in the hay is this about?" Applejack growled, turning her glare up to the pegasus that was hanging above them.
"SHe knows too much about that bitch of a wannabe goddess who took over the Celebration! She's a spy! I know it!" Rainbow Dash replied, flailing again, while Twilight snorted and rolled her eyes.
"It was Nightmare Moon, you dolt!" She snapped, and Applejack's frown deepend, while Dash laughed.
"HA! Who even is that?! How would you know something like that if you weren't a spy, huh?!" She demanded, looking satisfied, which made Applejack's temper, already frayed, tip over to the snarky side. She glanced back at Twilight, lifting her brow again.
"Nightmare Moon? Like the Mare in the Moon? The foal story? Hay, everypony that ain't an idiot knows about that 'un." She said, deadpan, and Rainbow Dash groaned, bringing all eyes back to her.
"Ohhh, not you, too, AJ! You're all against me, I swear, I- . . . . Wait."
With a snort, Applejack shook her head and looked back to the unicorn mare. "Still, she's got one point; how do y'all know this?" She asked, frowning, and Twilight took a breath, horn brightening as she levitated a book over from a nearby table. Applejack recognized it as the one she'd pulled out when at her farm, that she seemed so distracted by.
"I read about her in this book. It's a more in depth telling of the story, from sometime not long after the actual events, from what I can tell. Though it doesn't give any names, it seems pretty obvious that the 'elder sister' in the story is Princess Celestia." Twilight said, face grim, while Applejack flipped open the book and promptly blanched. The letters were . . . kind of familiar, though there were some that looked more like squiggles than letters. However, the language the book was written in was totally foreign to her.
"What in the hay is this?" She asked, frowning and looking up at the lavender mare, who shook her head, sighing.
"Old Ponish. Look, what's important is that, in the book, it said that Nightmare Moon would return after a thousand years. The Summer Sun Celebration marks the night of her defeat, and this is the thousandth Celebration! Or, was." She said, eyes turning down while her throat tightened, ears snaking back and tail tucking. Applejack read the body language without really thinking about it.
The mare was worried and terrified, and doing a fairly good job of hiding it, or at least staying calm.
"Okay. Why ya got her in a bubble?" Applejack asked, jerking her head towards Rainbow Dash, who glanced up from where she'd been sulking.
"She kept saying I was a spy and trying to tackle me! So, I picked her up by teh tail, and then she started grabbing books off of their shelves and trying to throw them at me! Books! I couldn't risk her damaging any, so I bubbled her." The mare explained, and Applejack had to wonder at the girl's priorities that she was more concerned about the damage to the books than to herself. Still, she clearly had some skill with her horn.
Applejack frowned at her. "Y'all some kinda Arcanus?" She asked, and received a frown in return.
"What? A . . . A Royal Mage? Oh, no. No!" The unicorn replied, eyes wide and tail perking, as did her ears. She was surprised and, though she wouldn't admit it, somewhat flattered. "Or, well, not yet, at least. I'm, uh . . . Well, that is . . . " She stammered, glancing away, blushing. Embarrassment warred with pride on her features before she shrugged. "I'm . . . Princess Celestia's student." She said, sighing.
APplejack stared at her for a second, then turned, looking up at Dash. "Dash!"
"What?!" The cocky pegasus snapped, glaring at the earth pony.
"She ain't a spy." She said, simply, and Dash uncrossed her forelegs.
"How do you know?" She said, eyeing the unicorn warily.
"I just do. I'm good at tellin' when folks're lyin' to me, y'all oughtta know that, by now." She said, before rolling her eyes and sighing, before sitting back and moving her right forehoof through the motions of a sacred ritual, and speaking out the words of a powerful incantation.
"Cross my heart an' hope ta fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." She said, finishing by pressing her hoof over her right eye, and Pinkie Pie bounced up and down.
"Oh! Oh! She did a Pinkie Promise! She's gotta be telling the truth or she'd break it!" The pink baker exclaimed. "And you don't wanna know what happens when you break one of those." She said, eyes wide as she turned to stare up at the rainbow maned pegasus, who took a look into those blue orbs and gulped, feeling like she was somehow in danger.
"Heh, heh. Whatever you say, Pinkie. Okay, AJ. I . . . I believe you." Dash said, nodding, and Applejack took a breath, looking at Twilight.
"Let 'er down, please." She said, nodding her head at the Unicorn who, after a moment's consideration, nodded and let her horn go out. The pegasus dropped, flipping in the air to land nimbly on her hooves. She shook herself, stretching her wings, before trotting up to stand in front of Twilight, a determined look in her eyes. She had to look up slightly, to meet the unicorn mare's eyes, but in spite of her small stature, there was no ignoring the pegasus as she flared out her wings.
"You better not be a spy, Twilight Sparkle. This is my town, and these are my friends, and I'll be damned if I let any of them get hurt 'cause of you!" She said, before turned and flapping her wings, taking off to hover up into the air above everypony.
"I'm not a spy! I promise! I just . . . I need to think of something! There has to be something we can do!" The unicorn said, frowning in worry.
Applejack frowned back at her. "What d' ya mean, 'we'? Hay, what d'ya mean, period?! We're not soldiers, certainly ain't enough to deal with some . . . ancient, evil alicorn! I'm a farmer!" She said, biting off the part that wanted to say she was more than that. "Pinkie's a baker . . . I think. Rarity's just a dressmaker." She said, ignoring the affronted gasp from behind her. "I don't think any of us can do anything!"
"There has to be something! The story says she was defeated!" Twilight said, frowning, and Applejack shrugged.
"Yeah, by, if y'all're right, Celestia! She ain't here!" The farm mare argued, while Pinkie Pie, largely unnoticed, pushed a dry erase board, which was covered over by a tarp, into the room. Where she got it from will remain a mystery.
"It wasn't just Celestia, Applejack! There was something . . . it said she used something to defeat her!" Twilight argued, while Pinkie Pie straightened her bowtie. Rainbow Dash frowned.
"Like . . . some kinda weapon or something?" The blue pegasus asked, quirking her head to the side.
"I don't remember! It was something I'd heard of before, though . . . what was it?"
"Ahem!" They all turned, blinking, to see Pinkie Pie, wearing a full tuxedo, complete with top hat and black sunglasses, leaning against the side of a dry erase board, on which was . . . The periodic table of elements.
"Huh?" Rainbow Dash said, frowning at the strange pink mare, while Applejack just sighed, rubbing her muzzle with one hoof.
Twilight, however, brightened up. "That's it!"
"It is?" Applejack asked, glancing at the mare uncertainly.
"What do you mean, darling?" Rarity asked, perplexed as well.
"The Elements of Harmony!" Twilight said, only to pause as confetti fell from the ceiling and a canned round of applause echoed through the tree. She looked around wide eyed, while the others all simply stood with vaguely annoyed looks on their faces. Finally, Applejack turned, looking at Pinkie, who was standing on her rear legs, forehooves innocently behind her back, next to a rope that the farm mare would have sworn wasn't there a minute before.
"Y'all done bein' melodramatic?" The farm mare asked, quirking an eyebrow, and Pinkie smiled.
"Yupperooni! For now." She said, muttering the last as her smile turned a bit devious. Applejack was already turning back to the conversation at hand, however.
"What're the Elements of Harmony?" She asked, and Twilight opened her mouth, before frowning.
"I . . . Don't know." She admitted, and Rainbow Dash threw up her hooves.
"Ugh! That's great! Lotta help that is!" The prismatic pegasus pointed out petulantly .
Twilight tapped her chin. "Spike!" She exclaimed, and the little drake was by her side in a flash.
"Time for research?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow.
"Time . . . for Research!" The lavender mare stated, the capital R standing out quite strongly when she said it, and the dragon nodded.
"Right! I'll get started on the coffee." He said, before waddling very quickly off to the kitchen, Applejack watching him go as she stepped over to Twilight, who was even now levitating up a bunch of the books from the floor, looking them over rapidly before stacking them on the table.
"Helpful little fella, ain't he?" She asked, glancing at Twilight as the unicorn continued . . . doing whatever it was she was doing.
"Spike? Yeah. He's my little brother . . . kinda. Adopted. I hatched him." She said, making Applejack blink.
"Uhhh." The orange mare said, most eloquently.
"Long story." Twilight said, shooting the farm mare a tense smile. "Look, could you give me some space?" She asked, frowning slightly.
"Do ya one better." The orange mare said. "What c'n I do ta help?" She asked, lifting her chin.
"Help?" Twilight said, blinking in surprise.
"Count me in too!" Rainbow Dash said, flying up to hover alongside Applejack. "Saving the world? Finding some mythical lost weapons? Battling an evil goddess?! This shit is awesome!" She said, grinning from ear to ear.
Rarity stepped up on the other side of Applejack, earning her a surprised look from the farm mare. "If it means getting back at that no good ruffian for [i[]ruining all my hard work? You can include me, as well, darlings!" She said, smiling primly, eyes sparkling a bit.
Fluttershy had been trying to slink away to the door, but was stopped by Pinkie Pie grabbing her around the withers with one forehoof, pulling her up to stand alongside the pink earth pony, who grinned at the lot of them. "We're in, too!" She said, giggling, while Fluttershy 'eeped' and hid behind her mane.
Mare of many words, that one. Still, something about her . . . Applejack couldn't quite put her hoof on it, but she was certain of it. There was more to the butter yellow mare than met the eye.
"Um, I don't . . . " Twilight began, looking uncertain, before Applejack took another step forward, meeting her eyes.
"Y'all don't think we're gonna just walk away, now, do ya?" She asked. She still didn't like their chances of success, but if it meant keeping her family safe? She'd risk it.
Twilight gritted her teeth, before glancing out the window at the unnatural night. She straightened up, eyes gleaming. "Alright. Okay, alright. All of you fan out through the library! I don't know who 'sorted' this place last, but they need to have their head examined. I've never SEEN a library so out of sorts. We need anything that might lead us to the Elements of Harmony, or at least tell us what they were. Anything on ancient weapons, or enchanted artifacts. . . . "
An hour later, and the group had been digging through book after book, and even with all of them working together, and Twilight's speed reading skills and Spike's near constant resupply of coffee and even doughnuts, the group had found nothing.
Twilight poked her head up from behind a pile of books, growling in frustration as she set yet another book into her 'discard' pile. "I can't BELIEVE the state of this place! I've looked through everything I can FIND that might have gotten us what we needed! Spire's 'Weapons and Artifacts of Medieval Equestria'! Glinting's 'Artefacts'! Nothing!"
Applejack, who had been trying to make hide or hair of a book titled 'Ye Olde Magician's Guide to Hallowed Things', which was apparently a list of various enchanted objects and talismans held in the Royal Treasury of Canterlot a few hundred years before, looked up, groaning. "Am I the only one gettin' a headache?" She asked.
She was answered by a moan to rival the most zombie of zombies, and a cyan hoof shooting up out of a pile of scattered books near the East wall. A rainbow maned head poked up out of the hole next, and the pegasus put her hooves on her face, leaning into them hard enough to stretch her eyelids down, showing how bloodshot her eyes were. "Uggggghhhhh! This is totally NOT awesome! This is egghead bullshit! Where's the action!? Where's the adventure!?"
"This is necessary, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight Sparkle said, frowning. "Besides, I don't think you've even read through half of those books!" The unicorn snapped, frustration on her face clear as day.
"Half?" Dash said, looking around at the pile, before snorting. "I haven't read any of these! I'm not doing this crap! We need to get going! Not sit around here playing book club or whatever the fuck this is!"
"I would appreciate it if you would watch your language, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight snapped, standing up and walking out from behind her books to confront the pegasus. "And just where do you propose we go, hm? If you're so eager, what is your destination!?"
The pegasus shot up in to the air, scattering books, and zipped over, pressing her face up close to the unicorns, though she was careful of the horn. "Oh, yeah? Well I'd fucking appreciate it if you would get the fuck over yourself and not tell me what the fuck to do!"
"Oopsy-daisy!" Pinkie suddenly exclaimed, teetering in a rather theatrical fashion on the top of a ladder, holding a small, old leather bound book in her forehooves. Applejack took a step, but it was too late as the mare came down with a loud crash like breaking glass and . . . was that bowling pins?
However, before anypony could move to check on her or try to help, she popped up, grinning from ear to ear. Almost literally. It was kind of creepy. "Butterhooves!" She said, and Fluttershy looked up.
"It wasn't me!" The yellow pegasus exclaimed, the loudest thing she'd said so far, and it was drowned out by the light thump of the small, dusty tome hitting the table beside Twilight and Rainbow Dash. The title on the cover read 'The Defeat of the Draconequus, by Golden Feather'. As they watched, Pinkie reached out a hoof and idly flicked the book open to about the halfway point. As Twilight frowned, looking at her, the pink mare quickly blew at the book a few times, causing a few pages to stir and turn over.
"Pinkie Pie. What are you doing?" Twilight asked, before Applejack put a hoof on her shoulder and shook her head. She was new in town after all, somepony had to look out for her.
"Just being clumsy, silly!" Pinkie said, grinning innocently, as Applejack turned and looked down at the page, the beginning of a chapter entitled 'The Aftermath and the Acquisition of the Elements of Harmony'.
"Huh. Seems like a place to start." Applejack said, as Twilight frowned down at the book.
"I've never . . . I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've never even heard of this book before. Where'd you get it, Pinkie?"
"Hammer space."
"What?"
"I mean . . . Ahem . . . under 'E', for 'Elements', silly!"
Twilight stood, staring at the pink mare for another second, before rapidly shaking her head, as though trying to dislodge a fly from her skull, and turned to look at the book, along with Applejack and Rainbow Dash who, though still frowning in annoyance, had been distracted from her temper tantrum by Pinkie's timely interruption.
Twilight picked up the book in her magic, bringing it closer and looking it over. Frowning, she began to read.
"'During the following days, the capital city underwent some repairs, and healers were required to tend to those whose injuries were more severe. These were thankfully low, however, as the Draconequus sought not to harm, but to play. Unfortunately, "play" seems to mean something different to such a being. I wonder if I will view the world so different, should I live to such an age? Unlikely though it may be, it still makes one ponder.
The Statue was moved to the Royal Gardens, where an eye could be kept upon it . . . and, truthfully, so that Celestia could gloat a bit. The Draconequus had beaten her and terrified her little ponies in the process. This was not to be taken lightly, nor should one not take heed of her Majesty's ego. Coupled with her rather cruel sense of humour, it is wise to play it safe, a lesson the Draconequus learned, to Their detriment.'"
Twilight paused, frowning, and Applejack looked at her. "What is it, Twilight?" She asked, sensing an edge of discomfort in the mare. The unicorn looked up at her, blinking and taking a breath, before shaking her head stiffly.
"N-Nothing. Nothing, Applejack." She lied, and Applejack's frown deepened. The mare continued reading, skipping ahead as she went.
"Ah! 'As for the weapons used in the Draconequus' defeat, these enchanted objects, known as the Elements of Harmony have been stored somewhere in the castle, where Their Royal Majesties assure me that they will be safe until they are needed, next.'" She scanned over the next few pages, before closing the book. "Well . . . I guess that's it, then. The Castle."
"You mean Canterlot?!" Rarity asked, eyes lighting up, and Applejack rolled her eyes, sighing while internally cringing at the thought of having to go to that city full of egotistical blowhards called 'nobles'. However, Twilight shook her head, smiling, and her voice took on the tone of a teacher delivering a lecture.
"No, Rarity. This book is dated to nearly a thousand years ago. Maybe a bit older. The leather bindings plus the type of script used both indicate this. At that time, Canterlot was nothing but a small crystal mining town. The Capital of Equestria was actually fairly close to Ponyville. Just a few hours hike into the forest." She said, nodding as though that settled it.
"I'm sorry, darling, I must've misheard you, you said the Forest? As in . . . The Everfree Forest?!" Rarity exclaimed, eyes wide in disgust and horror.
"Sick! Let's go!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, taking off with a beat of her wings, only to be caught by the tail as Applejack grabbed it in her mouth and pulled her to a halt. "Ow!" The mare yelped, looking back at the farm pony, who spat the tail out of her mouth and glared at the pegasus.
"Hold up there, nelly! We cain't just go blunderin' off into the Everfree!" Applejack said, blinking as the pegasus came to the ground, still holding her tail.
"Okay, okay, jeeze!" Dash said, glaring. "No need to yank my tail off for it!"
Applejack flinched, only realizing now how much that might've hurt. "Oh, er . . . Sorry." She said, awkwardly.
"Whatever." Dash said, turning as Twilight caught everypony's attention.
"Um, excuse me? What's . . . the problem with the Everfree? It's just a forest, right?" The lavender mare asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"'Just a Forest'?! Darling, please! The place is horrid!"
"It's unnatural! The weather just . . . happens, there!"
"It's dangerous." Applejack said, glaring at the other two who had spoken up, Rainbow Dash rolling her eyes in response.
"Duh! That's what I said!" The mare said, and Twilight piped up.
"Um, no . . Rainbow Dash, what you said makes no sense; the weather forming on it's own with no control is . . . literally the definition of natural. Honestly, how do you think the weather works outside of Equestria?"
The blue pegasus gasped, taking off to hover in the air. "Don't talk like that! Urgh!" She said, shuddering, and Applejack quirked an eyebrow. It was so hard to get a read on that filly. She blamed her age. Nevermind that she was only two years her junior.
"Look, Twilight." The farm mare said, turning to the unicorn. "The point is, natural or not, that place is dangerous. There's all kinds of things in there, that are bad enough during the day. Hydras, Cockatrices, Timberwolves . . . They only get worse after dark." She said, feeling her own Wolf stirring inside of her, and she averted her eyes, lest the Beast came too close to the surface.
The thought of going back into the forest was getting a response from the Wolf, but not the one that Applejack had expected. No predatory bloodlust or rage or even jubilation. Rather, it seemed that the thought of going back out into the night caused the Beast nothing but fear, a cloying, sickly emotion that Applejack could feel clawing its way up her throat and trying to take her legs out from under her.
She fought it down, and turned back to Twilight, who was frowning. She wondered if the mare had noticed something, if she had seen something or if . . . No, no, she was only being paranoid. She had kept this secret for so long. She knew how to protect herself. But then, the Beast had never acted like this before, had never been so aggressive, and had never shown such fear before.
Twilight spoke up, finally, nodding. "I understand what you're saying, Applejack . . . But if we don't do something, it could be 'after dark' forever. We need those Elements. They're our only shot at defeating Nightmare Moon and . . . hopefully returning Princess Celestia." She said, eyes shining at that last statement, before she blinked and shook her head. "We have no choice." She said, looking up.
Rainbow Dash nodded. "I'm still with you, Twilight. Let's go!"
Pinkie pronked over, holding Fluttershy by the tail, and grinned, nodding to the lavender mare.
Rarity bit her lip, but sighed. "Fine. But I insist we stop by my boutique on the way. I am NOT going into the forest after dark without some sort of protection!"
Applejack glanced sideways at the ivory unicorn, before snorting and shaking her head. She didn't like this. It was stupid, and wrong, and a bad idea. But Twilight was right. They had no choice, and she didn't know what she'd do if her Demon kept feeling like this, so close to the surface. She had to protect her family. She had promised.
She took a breath and nodded. "Eeyup. I guess I'm with ya too, then, Twi." She said, seeing the purple unicorn quirk an eyebrow at the nickname, which made the farm pony smirk slightly. "Let's go."
"FINALLY!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "I didn't think we were ever going to settle that!"
"Hey! Hang on a minute! Why'd I have to do that whole thing with the dry board, anyway?! We could've just looked in the book Twilight had!"
Because it was a funny joke.
"It wasn't THAT funny!"
"Who are you talking to, Darling?"
"Err, nopony! No pony, at all."