//------------------------------// // Ch. 7 :: Disconcerted // Story: Harmannoyed // by Tirimsil //------------------------------// Right on que, Princess Pipp stepped out of the mist to great applause, catwalked perfectly to the beat, stopped, and raised a hoof, sweeping across while shaking her booty, with a smirk and a raised eyebrow, moving her lips silently as her own voice sounded incoherently around her. Between the fact she was behind the speakers, and the fact her crowd was especially excited today, she would have no idea what she was saying had she not written the words herself. The rain is pretty bad today But that's just fine Every cloud is beautiful With the sun behind Most other ponies had no idea what she was saying in any event - both in what the words literally were, and what in the world they meant once the first part was figured out, but whatevs. She stopped herself from shrugging, and skittered around the stage in a taptrot. You think the rain will never end But don't you know After every storm Is a rainbow She'd done this so many times by now she could think about stuff while she did it. Quite frankly it got boring at times. Not boring enough to appreciate slipping on the stage and going the worst kind of viral. Felt more bacterial, actually, though since PR disasters affected her whole family it might have been cutiesomal. It's not like anyone would notice if her lips formed the wrong word once or twice because the line said "hoof to heart" but her head thought "gosh I'm hungry". And besides, she was lip-syncing her own song. She legitimately did the recording. It's just that it was literally impossible to sing like that, or at all actually, while huffing and puffing from all this athletic stuff she was doing, even as spry as she was. That was the real reason Zipp wouldn't be caught dead on a stage - she was still embarrassed from like three years ago. Pipp had already gotten busted for the strings-for-wings fiasco. If they had the nerve to get mad at her for lip-syncing her own vocals she was gonna sue. And if they were too stupid to figure out that the clearly-overlapping vocals with harmonies weren't performed live while running a marathon on stage, then that was their fault. She spread out her wings and began twirling for her bridge, an excuse to stretch them out in preparation to take off. I love you more than anything More than everything No strings attached this time - she took off for real and flew like a phoenix, her lights strobing and her crowd going wild. You are my sun, the light of my life With you, I feel so warm I have no shade but I know no strife I want to go blind in your light It hadn't been long since the Pegasians had gotten their wings back, but she'd been furiously dedicated - almost as obsessed as Zipp, who'd always hated faking flying. The only "trick" was all the glitter that dropped out of the air and her hope not to get it in her eyes. The crazy lights made it pretty much invisible until she knocked it around with her flying. She continued to soar, swirling and twirling, to finish her chorus. You are my sun, the light of my life We'll weather any storm I have no shade but I know no strife -- She fell out of the air in shock as the doors to the concert hall exploded open in a storm of unicorn magic that instantly shut down all the electronic equipment and deafened the gasping audience with cacophonous microphone feedback. She forced her eyes open against her demonic cringing. Accustomed to her bright lights, she could barely make out a purple-and-blue blob standing backlit in the door like an angel of death. Her heart sank as she accepted all the strife she was about to know with her worst best friend. "Fuhbuhlee!" Izzy might have shouted, standing tall and backlit in the doorframe, her head held high. Then she stopped talking and waited for the feedback and audience babbling to stop as everyone turned to look at her, covering their ears with their wings. "Sorry, let me start over." She cleared her throat, magically summoned a brush, smoothed over her coat and hair, and did some stretches before jumping and landing in her previous, heroic pose. "Fun police! Princess Pipperoni, you are under arrest! Again. You traitor! You're gonna spill everything! All the beans!" "W-what?!" Pipp cried, half-leaning off the stage. "No. Nonono, this is not happening again," she scrambled back up, "This must be a bad dream, you did not just ruin my first real-flying concert! And that's not my name." "Oh wow, your first one?!" Izzy chirped, pixie-trotting in excitement. "I'm so proud of you! It hasn't even been that long and you're that confident already?! When is it?" "W-when is..?! YOU JUST CRASHED IT!" Pipp squeaked. Her wings began buzzing like a hummingbird's, taking her a hand or two into the air. "Just like you crashed the last one! You exposed me when I was faking it and now you're ruining me doing it legit?! I would so unfollow you if you had an account!" "You can follow bank accounts?" Izzy blinked, then shook her head and raised her chin proudly. "Don't distract me, evildoer! I'm here to expose your treachery and lies!" "Didn't we already do this?" Someone in the crowd asked. "Yeah! We did!" Pipp pouted down at Izzy. "What exactly are you gonna expose about me this time?!" "This! Ta-daaaa!" Izzy cried brightly. The crowd gasped as, with a flash, her cellphone materialized out of thin air and floated in midair, having been summoned from beyond the veil. Then she rubbed at her face. Every time she did that motion, she could feel her face wobbling. She was afraid she might pull a tendon or something if she hit it too hard. Pipp stared down at her in disbelief from upon the stage. Her wings slowed down and she gracefully descended before scuffing her stage with a snarl. "You have a phone?" she protested, stomping her hoof to accentuate phone. "... Why do you never answer my texts?!" She scowled, huffing out of her nostrils. "Because I can never charge it," Izzy responded matter-of-fact, smiling all around at the confused crowd. "Bridlewood doesn't have any electrical outlets. ... Or any wireless reception..." she pouted at the corner of the ceiling before smiling at Pipp again. "You..." Pipp put a hoof to her temple, blinking and unsteady on her feet. She closed her eyes. "You've got a phone that you can't use... because you live in the boonies like a cavemare..." "Bingbong," Izzy warned cheerily. "Shut it. So how exactly is your phone working now?!" the princess demanded. "Oh, I stopped by a coffee shop on the way over here," Izzy nodded, raising a hoof to gesture out the door, because that was where the coffee shop was within a 180 degree arc and a few hundred miles radius. "Sat there for three hours! Gosh my butt hurts!" She wiggled her behind with a wrinkled nose, causing a few mothers to cover their foals' eyes. "You waited for three hours to ruin the most important concert I've ever done?" "No way, I'd never do that!" Izzy giggled and shook her head several times, ignoring Pipp's twitching eye, pulling the phone closer and fumbling with the touchpad, bright eyes darting casually over the surface. "I came to talk about your Pish!" "... My Pish?" Pipp raised an eyebrow. "I don't post anything vulnerable on my TL, I'm real careful with it..." "Exactly!" Izzy suddenly jabbed a hoof in her direction, making her jump. "You promote these Harmonoid things all the time! You Echo fans covering their songs! You even do ads for them!" Pipp sighed and rolled her eyes. "Zephyr Heights has a constitutionally-protected freedom of association --" "But you've never posted a cover of your own!" Izzy accused. Pipp froze, slowly paling. The crowd looked at her, then back to Izzy, eyes wide with interest. "Yeah!" Izzy continued. "You do all these concerts, and you love Harmonoids who are all about music, and you promote fan covers which are technically piracy but that's a bit hypocritical to say considering," she giggled again, "... but you've never done a cover? That's really weird! Unless, of course... " She tapped a hoof to her chin and looked all around, drawing it out for several seconds. The crowd went silent again and stared back at her. A few ponies raised a hoof in a rolling motion, gesturing As if what?! "Unless of course you can't do a cover..." Izzy chewed on the insides of her cheeks meaningfully. Meaningfully to her, anyway. The crowd gasped in scandal. "ExCuUuSe yOoUuU," Pipp croaked on an inhale. She began coughing and took a few seconds to recover. "I-kih-hack-hack, I could absolutely do a cover..!" "Oh, I'm not talking about your singing skills! You're great!" Izzy closed her eyes and beamed sincerely. She blinked them back open and tilted her head. "I mean because your cover would sound just like Generous☆Harmonoid because you're her Twin Soul." she waved off casually. There was a very tense pause for three seconds. Izzy looked casually around the room, smiling. "That sounds legit!" someone yelled, and an army of cameras rose out of the crowd and began flashing at Pipp and Izzy, the former flailing, the latter closing her eyes and grimacing in mild discomfort. "Yup, I'll take it," another pony called. "AAAAAAAAHHH!" Pipp shrieked in anguish, writhing on the stage and covering her face, going blind in Izzy's light. "YOU DUMB IDIOT! I can't believe you! I mean I totally can because you did this to me before but you're unbelievable! Couldn't you talk to me about this when I'm not in the middle of a concert surrounded by live cameras?!" "You're always in the middle of a concert surrounded by live cameras," Izzy sulked, now poking at a dark spot on the carpet and scowling at it. "Okay so maybe I am but have you lost your mind?!" Pipp flailed, wincing her eyes closed as the cameras continued flashing at her. "Don't you understand why Harmonoid actresses are a secret?! I'm going to get recalled!" "I don't know what that means!" Izzy chirped with a smile. "Well the cat's outta the bag so you're about to find out! RECALLOIDS!" Pipp commanded in the Generous☆Harmonoid voice. "All these -oids are too much to keep track of," Izzy pouted. The Hero of Charity - two of her - combat-dove through the stained-glass windows, rolling in midair, landing on the stage, and cracking it. The crowd shrieked and ran for the exits, though the journalists snapped a few more pictures before skedaddling. These "Recalloids" stood up in their black backless gowns, adjusted their now-askew sunglasses, raised their pouting movie-star actress chins, shook their luxurious, curly purple manes, and locked their beady little eyes on Izzy. The one on the right sat down, lifted her forehooves, and punched them into each other with deep resounding thunks. Pipp walked to the very edge of the stage and leaned down to look at Izzy closer. "This is the part where you, like, GTHO?" she smiled, batting her lashes. "GTHO?" the Recalloids repeated, slowly approaching the stairs off the stage. "You sure know a lot of words I don't," Izzy complained, hurriedly putting her phone back in her pocket dimension. "Geez, I should've known you'd play the spoiled one..!" "Fire at will," Pipp snarled with outraged eyes, and Izzy took off running, right out the front door of the castle with two Generous☆Harmonoids in hot pursuit, shooting tennis balls out of their wide-open snake-mouths with FOOMP sounds.