There was a primal fear that rested within the hearts of ponies around carnivorous creatures. It was easy enough to live in harmony with them, but sharing the same table was a learned resilience. Fancy Pants had long since developed the tolerance to seeing slabs of muscle, bone, and sinew, like any Equestrian diplomat worth their salt would need to. After all, one of the best ways to get to know another was to share a meal. It was just a matter of consistent exposure. Claws for ripping, talos for tearing, and of course...
“One full-sized dakos salad for you, Fancy Pants.” Athena placed the plate in front of Fancy next to his glass of wine. “And, umm… the Minoan porter steak-styled nut roast with a side salad for Princess Luna.”
“Thank you, Miss Athena,” Luna replied with slight discomfort as the sizzling meal was placed in front of her. Though her face may have been focused on the meal before her, her eyes were trained upon Fancy Pants.
The restaurant fell silent, save the juices bubbling on the hot cast iron plate. A pop of magic sounded, a small, U-shaped container appearing next to the princess. She clicked it open, revealing something more often seen on Nightmare Night: two molded sets of sharp upper and lower row teeth. With practiced movement, the princess turned her head away from everyone as she opened her mouth. A second and flash of magic later, the princess turned back to her meal. She sighed and looked down with shame for a brief moment before looking up at the minotaur.
“Would you happen to have Gruff Griff steak sauce?” Luna asked with an embarrassing grin.
… fangs for feasting.
Princess Luna had fangs. Not a small pair of nocturne fruit cuspids, not silly vampony costume teeth, but genuine fangs. He’d seen mouths full of sharp teeth while sharing dinner with different creatures the world over. They’d almost look natural if they weren’t inside of a pony’s mouth.
“It is a side-effect,” Luna whispered and lowered her head in shame. “Just one of many for giving into darkness.”
“My apologies, your highness. I didn't mean to...”
“It’s Luna!” She corrected sharply. “Please. Call me Luna. Please…”
“O-of course, Luna. It was just unexpected.”
Fancy mentally kicked himself for his tactlessness. He’d dined in the halls of Griffonstone where they ate live insects and barely cooked meats. Luna was just a pony with different needs. If he could hold a conversation with Grisham Blackfeather while he slurped centipedes, a princess with pointy teeth should be no problem.
“They’re omnivorous,” Luna admitted with a wistful smile that showed the full extent of her canines and incisors. The teeth further back became more familiar molars, though they were still sharper than normal. “As chance would have it, their bite is akin to that of a minotaur. Part of me wondered if you knew about my diet given your chosen venue.”
Fanch shook his head. “No. I had no clue that you ate meat.”
“I fully abstained from eating such things, but… I still have cravings.”
So many questions popped into Fancy’s mind about Nightmare Moon, and none of them were appropriate for polite conversation. Everypony had something in their past that they’d rather not talk about. The last thing Luna needed was to be asked questions about the darkest time in her life. It no longer mattered. He instead took another bite of his salad to recollect his thoughts.
“Some sins are not so easily wiped away,” she answered simply to sate his unspoken curiosity.
Luckily, Athena returned with a glass bottle of brownish-red sauce. Luna thanked her and began dousing her definitely-not-meat nut roast in it. She took her knife and carved a large, fleshy hunk off the side and bit down. Athena watched with equal parts anticipation and distress seeing the princess slowly chew the closest thing she had to actual meat on the menu. After savoring its flavor, Luna swallowed and sighed with apprehensive content.
“Your reputation was not overstated, Miss Athena. This is the most authentic Minoan cuisine I’ve had since coming to Canterlot. Not even the castle chefs can match this delicious flavor,” she said while she cut into the roast again to take another bite. “Not that I’d dare ask them to do so.”
“Well then, I guess I was worrying over nothing, huh?” Athena said bashfully while scratching the back of her head. “For a second there, I thought you were ordering it to test it for… well, you know.”
“Fear not, Fair Athena. I taste no pony in this,” Luna stated matter-of-factly.
“Oh! Well that’s good to…” Athena’s words died on her lips as her mind caught up to what the mare’s confidence really meant. Regardless if Luna was a joke or not, the assurance had backfired spectacularly. She quickly walked away to the sink and began washing anything in arm’s length.
Luna bit her lip, nearly drawing blood. “It appears it is impossible for us to not frighten the fluffy one.”
Fancy resisted the urge to slam his head on the table. Princess Celestia’s suggestion to “take the night off” was proving to be anything but relaxing. Despite the setbacks, he was determined to see his duty fulfilled. Fancy felt in his core that the Labyrithiyum was the right restaurant for their dinner. He wasn’t about to let the out-of-time princess’ social awkwardness by the death of the evening.
“Now, now. No need for such negativity, Luna.” He chomped down loudly on a piece of toasted bread, showing that he hadn’t lost his appetite. “She’s always been more jumpy around dinnertime due to the carnivorous clientele.”
Luna picked at the edges of her roast with her fork.
“The Labyrinthiyum is more of a brunch spot for ponies,” Fancy remarked between bites. “It’s rarely busy around this time, but she still opens back up for dinner to serve some of the less Equestrian creatures around Canterlot. I know the Griffon Express couriers are thankful for it, even though they can be a little belligerent at times.”
Luna nodded in agreement with another savory bite of her roast.
"Despite being quite a sensitive soul herself, not many ponies are interested in making friends with Athena. She doesn’t quite fit the brusque mold of Minossos either, so she’s a bit of an outcast in either place.”
The princess' ears drooped a little and she stopped chewing.
“I’m sure she’d love to make more friends, but I’m sure you know that ponies can be more than a little skittish around those who are different from them.”
Luna nodded in understanding and began chewing again, albeit a bit more slowly.
“You know, despite her complaining about the company I bring, she has always been willing to tend the bar for guests after hours. She’ll even keep it open all night if enough creatures show up. She’s an incredibly generous hostess once you get to know her.”
"Such tireless work must be exhausting for a day-dweller,” Luna whispered knowingly. She glanced up and watched Athena scrub her cookware with her back turned to them. Her eyes drifted higher, taking in the restaurant around them. “Despite its high ceilings, this establishment is not particularly large.
Fancy nodded. “You could sit maybe thirty ponies in here. Maybe a few more if you packed them tightly. A rather easy maze to navigate.”
“And she works here alone, correct?”
“Unless something has changed, yes. You’d be surprised by how well Athena can manage the kitchen and the dining area on her own. It probably helps that she can carry a buffet’s worth of food by herself.”
“And you said that most nights are this empty?”
“There are a few exceptions, but this looks about right for most evenings that I’ve visited.”
Luna sucked in her lips as she speared a cherry tomato with her fork. She brought the lone vegetable to her mouth and bit down. Her mouth barely moved as she chewed slowly and methodically with a vacant stare. Eventually she stopped chewing altogether, not even swallowing what was in her mouth. She just sat, staring and thinking.
Finally, Luna forced herself to swallow. “Do you happen to know how many patrons would be required for her to remain open later at night?”
Fancy hummed and tapped his chin in thought. “Let’s see. If my math is correct…” He held up his hoof to count. “I believe only one, if they’re a friend.”
A ghost of a smile tugged on Luna’s lips. “You have spent far too much time around my sister, Sir Fancy Pants.”
Fancy returned with a smirk of his own. “You know, I find the ‘Sir’ to be a bit excessive these days. Just Fancy, or Fancy Pants would do, if it pleases you, Luna.”
“Of course, Fancy.” The remnants of her shell fell away as a sweet, fang-filled smile brighter than the moon crossed her face. “Nothing would please me more.”
“Wonderful. And, if you don’t mind me saying, your joy shines as brilliantly as ever, without or without the canines. I would never have thought they were fake.”
Luna snapped her mouth shut with a subtle blush, backing away from Fancy. “That is because they are and they aren’t, in a manner of speaking. Magically manipulating any part of your body can cause permanent deformities if you forget their original shape. And since using purely magical teeth is akin to chewing with a mouth filled with aethereal blades, I made these retainers. They allow me to easily polymorph my teeth simply by activating their enchantment sigil with my tongue without worrying about reshaping them myself."
Fancy nodded, not expecting to hear a spellcraft explanation after hazarding a compliment. Still, if the princess was worried about what he thought about her needs, she wasn’t showing it. With that proverbial elephant addressed and put to bed, another push was in order.
“What will you be eating this evening, Athena?”
The minotaur tensed up for a moment before turning to her customers. “Umm… I have a few extra sandwiches from no-shows at a lunch party earlier that I was gonna snack on. Why?”
“Would you care to join us?” Fancy asked with a warm smile. “I don’t think the guards will be allowing anypony else in while the princess is eating, and we would love for you to join us. There’s so much for us to catch up on.”
Athena shot a glance between Luna and Fancy, weighing her nerves against the request. “When you put it like that, how can I say no?”
The minotaur ran to the back, giving Luna a second to shoot a disapproving frown at Fancy for trapping the poor cook. A few moments later, their hostess returned carrying a large variety platter of triangular sandwiches with assorted fillings. She returned to her station behind the bar and set her meal tray off to the side. Getting more comfortable, she leaned on the other side, resting an arm against the prep area while grabbing a crispy haybacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich to munch on. Fancy raised an eyebrow, motioning towards a perfectly capable barstool next to him.
“What? Just because I’m eating too doesn’t mean I’m not gonna stop serving you two.” She reached over to the wine bottle between the two ponies and topped their glasses for them.
“Thank you, Miss Athena,” Luna said gratefully.
Athena chuckled. “Of course, your highness. I’ve already been rude enough to you for one night. Sorry about that.”
The princess sucked in her lips, unsure of what to say.
“How has the Labyrithiyum been doing, by the way?” Fancy asked quickly before another silence could set in.
“Come to think of it, I’ve actually been really busy lately,” Athena remarked with some surprise in her voice. “I almost considered hiring help since I’m a few ponies shy of a proper lunch rush now, but it’s probably just a temporary thing. The world’s been going crazy recently. Everypony’s got post-wedding jitters.”
Athena pulled a flier from under the bar and placed it between her guests. It was covered top to bottom with disaster preparedness information from the Canterlot Royal Guard. There were emergency situation procedures, disaster preparedness, and other helpful tips to survive disaster ranging from landslides to foreign invasions. Athena pointed to a map towards the bottom with markers placed all around the city. Fancy recognized the section of the city the tip of her finger was resting on as the Labyrinthiyum.
“While I was hoping they’d be coming for the food, I guess there’s a little reassurance that comes with eating somewhere that seconds as a shelter-in-place.”
Fancy looked over the flier once more and pondered the restaurant for a moment. He couldn’t argue that the sudden influx might be temporary, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t a good opportunity for Athena to put her best foot forward. “While you might be right, it doesn’t mean you can’t use this as a good launching point. I think you should consider hiring somepony to help you out.”
Athena hummed to herself in thought as she flicked her ear with a finger. “I don’t know, Fancy. It’s not that I don’t trust your judgment—Hades knows it’d be a mistake not to—but the uptick is nothing that I can’t handle on my own. And please don’t tell me it’s because you think crises are going to keep happening. I like my life when it’s not being put at risk by weird dragon-chicken-whatever things or shapeshifters.”
Fancy wasn’t sure how to answer. Something was nagging him, but he couldn’t quite pin the details down. He closed his eyes and pondered the question: Should Athena hire some staff for the restaurant? No. That wasn’t the right question.
How would hiring somepony improve the restaurant? Closer…
What would change about the restaurant if Athena hired somepony?
A vision of the Labyrinthiyum at lunchtime thrust itself into Fancy’s mind. Ponies and griffons alike were enjoying their meals together as a pony waitress took the order of a nearby table. Meanwhile, Athena was finishing placing several orders for another table. Instead of walking away as she usually did to get started on the orders, she bent down to visit with her guests; talking, listening, and laughing with them.
Fancy’s eyes shot open and he turned to the curious minotaur. “You’re correct. The Labyrinthyum’s workload is just fine with you working as you are now. However, hiring a few additional hooves would allow you to socialize more with your guests, maybe even allowing you to make friends with your regulars.”
Athena drummed her fingers on the countertop. “But wouldn’t it be better to just have the ponies work the floor while I make the food?”
“Don’t look at it in terms of increasing productivity, rather focus on the opportunity for some public relations. You are such a joy, Athena. You should share it as much as you can.”
Athena blinked in disbelief at the suggestion. “You really think that about me?”
“You’ve always been an exceptional listener, Athena. I’m sure you’ll be able to speak to the hearts of anypony or anyone who comes through your doors.”
Athena glowed as she melted in glee from the compliment. She couldn’t help but grin from ear to floppy ear with an endearing, bashful smile. “I’ll think about it.”
Her infectious joy brought a smile to Fancy’s face. “If you need a little financial assistance, don’t hesitate to ask. I’m sure I could spare a few bits as an investment in helping you grow. I’m quite certain you’re worth it.”
“I couldn’t! You’ve already done so much for me,” Athena admitted with a hearty laugh. “But thank you so much. You really know how to make everyone happy, Mister Kingmaker.”
Another elephant down. Now he just needed to somehow serve as a bridge for Luna and Athena to connect. They were both lonely creatures who locked themselves away from the rest of Canterlot. If they could still feel out of place together, perhaps they’d both come out of their shells. Fancy turned back to the princess to bring her into the conversation, but lost his words seeing her eyes locked onto his flank.
“Fascinating,” Luna mused aloud as she leaned closer to his cutie mark.
Fancy blushed slightly from the rapt attention applied his rear end had garnered, but his friend’s firm gaze was far too analytical to mean anything untoward. Apparently, Athena’s interest had been piqued by the princess’ study of Fancy’s posterior.
“I see why my sister keeps you close,” Luna said with sly confidence. “You have a very powerful gift, Fancy Pants.”
“Why, thank you, Luna.” Fancy straightened up and held his nose high. “I’ve always had a knack for good judgment and an eye for success. It’s why I’m called the ‘Kingmaker of Canterlot,’” he bragged before winking his fake pride away.
“I see. So it is a talent for fortuitous prognostication or perhaps even limited foresight?” She mused aloud. “Either way, you would have been known as a ‘fateweaver’ a thousand years ago.”
The unknown term gave Fancy Pants some pause.
“Sounds kinda serious,” Athena added with a hint of worry.
"It can be. Visions of the future can become quite maddening if they are intense and recurring,” Luna warned as she shot a spell in the air. The sparkes rose and expanded into a cloud showing a light green void. “Because they often draw power from the Dreamscape, I have often worked closely with ponies of such caliber to hone their abilities lest they be consumed by them.”
The cloud grew in size as a pony appeared inside along with Luna. While Fancy had never met the unicorn, he recognized the well-worn cape and cowl from the annual Hearth’s Warming Eve pageants.
“Clover the Clever was one such gifted pony whose foresight helped bring about the unification of the three tribes. Be it simply a matter of seeing different perspectives or truly glimpsing potential futures, such talent tends to be the hoof that guides the quill of history rather than writing its pages.”
“Are you saying Fancy can see the future?” Athena pressed on the sides of her face with her hands as she balked at imagery. “For Styx sake! What is with you ponies and your crazy cutie mark magic? Why’d you never tell me?”
Fancy Pants didn’t answer. He didn’t have one. He’d always thought he was just good at imaging potential scenarios. The last thing he expected was to hear he was looking into the future.
“Fancy Pants? Did you not know?” Luna asked worriedly.
The question snapped him back to reality. “Oh! Well, no. I…”
Fancy paused again as he tried to gather his thoughts, but was distracted by the familiar humming of magic. He looked to see what Luna was casting, but her horn wasn’t lit. He looked up to his own horn to see that it was him, but he didn’t know what he was casting. He refocused his magic only to realize he was wiping his monocle with his polishing cloth just to his side.
“Sorry. Lost my head for a second there.” Fancy cleared his throat and donned his eyepiece again. “What I meant to say was that I’ve never believed in something like destiny. I thought I was simply optimizing outcomes. To say I was seeing the future… it’s honestly a little jarring.”
“There is no destiny until it is written into our past,” Luna assured him. “Each choice helps shape what our futures will be, though not every decision is of consequence. Some may change the course of our world, while others determine what you will have for breakfast.”
Fancy nodded along, but a needling unease still weighed upon him. He’d always thought he was choosing the best of the options presented, not reading the future.
“Take heart, Fancy Pants. You are not so important that fate rests at your hooves. Soothsayers are rarely the heroes of stories.”
“I suppose you’re right about that one. Thank you, Luna.” Fancy’s eyes drifted back down to Luna’s plate. “I don’t need to be a fortune teller to say you should probably finish your roast before it gets cold.”
“Oh heavens! Apologies, noble chef. We nearly forgot we were eating!” The princess returned to her neglected steak and dug into it with gusto.
“I don’t know about noble—I mean, I could always heat that up for you again if you want me to, Princess Luna,” Athena offered, but Luna shook her head as she swallowed another mouthful.
“Yes, but I think I would prefer your company, Miss Athena,” Luna replied before taking another savory bite. She didn’t bother to finish her current mouthful before adding, “And please, call me Luna.”
Athena snickered at the lack of table manners ill-befitting of a princess. “Alright, but do the same for me. Athena’s not even my last name.”
“Of course. We’re… all friends here. Right?” Luna said with hopeful trepidation.
The minotaur righted herself and confidently stood to her full height. The way she kept rising higher and higher jolted the alicorn from hunching over her plate. Athena punched her fist into her other palm and grinned widely.
“Not until you’ve had a sweet slice of Athena Cypriel’s Traditional galaktoboureko!”
The clock struck nine as the trio continued to enjoy each other’s company. After christening their new friendship over a piece of Minoan custard pie, Athena opened the bar properly. Wine flowed like water as the ponies sampled several selections for Athena’s homeland. The minotaur had taken a couple glasses herself at the princess’ insistence. She wanted this night to be enjoyable for all.
Fancy was starting to feel a mild buzz from his sixth glass while Luna had loosened up considerably after imbibing far more. He attributed it more to the spirit of friendship sprouting between the two rather than the spirits they were liberally drinking. Princess Celestia made quick work of dense desserts at tea time without gaining a pound, so it was safe to assume alicorns held their liquor better as well.
Either way, the two were bonding, and Fancy couldn’t be more satisfied with the results. Luna still struggled every-so-often with modern vernacular, dipping into royal we’s and antiquated speech when she was nervous, but it made her earnest attempts all the more endearing. Meanwhile, Athena opened up about herself far more than he’d ever seen besides himself. The two were enjoying each other’s company so much that Fancy decided to sit back and let them take the reins in their conversation.
“So that’s when I decided, with a little help from Fancy, that I’d try to open up a restaurant here in Canterlot,” Athena said, wrapping up her restaurant's origins. “I just can’t stand the thought of killing something else for food.”
“And I, for one, am glad you decided to move,” Luna added. A wry smile crept across her face as she rose a hoof to her chin in thought. “Still, are we not slaying thousands of plants and fungi for our daily consumption?”
Athena laughed at first but then stopped as she pondered more deeply, shuddering at the thought. Luna immediately recognized she must’ve made another error with her joke and scrambled to her hooves to rectify it.
“T’was merely a jest! The land gives her bounty readily so we may spread her seeds in kind!” she sputtered quickly, waving her hooves trying to calm Athena down. A snicker from the minotaur broke any illusion of misunderstanding. “Oh, you are terrible!” Luna jabbed a hoof at Athena’s arm.
Both laughed together in harmony as Fancy Pants simply smiled from behind his sip of wine. Athena’s laughter broke into a yawn she couldn’t quite cover up. Luna gave a knowing, rueful smile.
“It is getting late, Athena. Would you like to go to sleep?” the princess asked.
“I’d be lying if the thought hadn’t crossed my mind. I did kinda wake up early to prep for that lunch party, but I’ll be fine,” she assured her guests while stretching her powerful arms to get the blood flowing again.
Luna’s mouth remained closed, but her lips bulged slightly as she ran her tongue along the front of her teeth from one side to the other. A pop of magic sounded and she politely turned away to extract her polymorph retainer from her mouth and place them in their container.
“It would be derelict of my sworn duty if I kept you awake for my benefit,” Luna said with a peaceful grin of normal pony teeth. “I am most grateful for the time we have spent together this evening. Though, I had expected something far different from what my sister had described ‘the nightlife’ to be, but it has been most enjoyable, indeed.”
Athena tilted her head in confusion. “Nightlife? You call a quiet lonely bar in tucked in the corner of the city ‘the nightlife?’”
“Is this not?”
“Well, it is ‘a nightlife’ of sorts,” Fancy Pants answered, finally deeming it time to reenter the ladies’ conversation.
“I guess?” Athena asked with doubt of Fancy’s definition. “What did Princess Celestia say it’d be like?”
“She spoke of a swirling sea of ponies sparkling among innumerable lights like the bands of the galaxy,” Luna said excitedly.
“Oh, like the Grand Galloping Gala,” Fancy Pants said with a nod.
“And there are shows that pulse like colorful quasars and loud music that, as the youths put it, ‘dropped bases.’ Admittedly, I didn’t quite understand the last one.”
Athena couldn’t help but laugh at the cute naïvety of Luna’s storybook description. “You’re looking for a night on The Drive then, Princess.”
“The Drive?”
“Dressage Drive,” Fancy clarified with a modicum of surprise. “When Celestia asked me to accompany you, I was not expecting she had that place in mind.”
“Why not? From what I’ve learned, Dressage is quite a respected, if not a little subdued, form of ballroom dancing. If I am honest, I am not partial to it. The movements are so stifling and the dress is so constricting.” Luna ruffled her wings at the phantom corsets mares were expected to wear.
“That would’ve been the case a hundred and fifty years ago, but as more ponies moved into Canterlot, the nobility wanted a clearer distinction between them and common ponies.”
Luna huffed at the familiar needless entitlement, but waited to hear more.
“So they moved to the upper levels and established the Theater District which is a short trot away from the castle gates. The other ponies moved in and began building their own places that are a bit more down to earth. These days, the Drive is a popular street lined with an array of nighttime establishments. It can get so loud that there is an active noise dampening field generated by the magelamps lining the streets.”
“What are we waiting for? This place sounds fun!”
Fancy hesitated, trying to find the right words. “It’s not a place I would call princess-friendly.”
“Meaning?” Luna asked flatly.
“One goes to the Drive to escape into the night and, for lack of a better word, get away from authority,” Fancy answered, clarifying his meaning by tapping a hoof on his forehead where the princess’ tiara rested on hers.
“You are suggesting that we—that I would not be welcome at one of these nightclubs as a Princess of the Night?” Luna guessed as her features fell.
“To be fair, I would be out of place as well at most of the Drive’s establishments as well. It has been a long time since I went there at night.”
“I see.” Luna frown sank in further disappointment.
Fancy hated being the killjoy. Perhaps he could organize a party at the castle for Luna that would fulfill her visions of nighttime Canterlot. Sure, the nobles might object, but the Royal Wedding had been a more laid back occasion with such festivities. He just needed to find—
“If that is the case, then all the more reason to show we are proficient in all nighttime activities to show we are the Princess of the Nightlife as well!”
His train of thought derailed violently and careened into the mountainside in his mind. “I beg your pardon?”
“Thank you so much, my new friend. I will be sure to return to partake in wonderful food and conversation, Athena Cypriel,” Luna said as she grabbed the nearly empty wine bottle and her wine glass with magic.
“Come by anytime, Luna.” Athena smiled and began cleaning up the bar. “When I’m open, that is,” she amended, remembering Luna’s nocturnal schedule.
“I will be sure to send word so I do not catch you unawares.” Luna then whistled for her guards and emptied the remainder of the wine bottle into her glass. She downed the wine quickly as the familiar sound of a large stone slab opening reverberated from the staircase.
“Please see to it that Miss Cypriel is properly compensated for the lovely food and drink this evening,” Luna ordered as she placed a bag of bits at the same time her sentries arrived. “The night is young and we must be off to partake in its wonders!”
At once, Princess Luna whisked Fancy away in a flash of magic from his chair at the bar. He nearly collapsed as they reappeared on the street outside of the restaurant, not expecting to be standing. Luna caught him before he fell and righted him straight on his hooves.
“Now, Fancy. Please lead us to this Drive so the evening’s fun may be doubled!”
On second thought, maybe Princess Celestia didn’t drink.