Dear Journal,
Snuggling
It's something so awesome, but at the same time, super sappy. But I don't get that. Why would people judge other people for wanting to feel safe and secure?
I used to snuggle with my parents when I was younger. Now, I have a bajillion pillows on my bed that I can snuggle up against. In just the right position, it feels like heaven.
But lately, even in those really good pillow-snuggling positions, I haven't been able to sleep well at all. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong, but every night I get into an awesome position, fall asleep, then wake up in the middle of the night like five times! Like, I know I'm a restless sleeper, but I never had to wake up to turn over before!
I've been trying a couple different things to help me get to sleep. Warm milk before bed (which was gross), listening to calming music, wearing a sleep mask (which seems super overrated). Last time I visited Fluttershy's I even swiped one of her bottles of lavender oil. At least, I'm pretty sure that lavender is the smell that helps sleep.
You know what else helps people sleep? Snuggling next to someone they love.
Well, that's not gonna happen anytime soon.
I've always been a night owl, but because of my stupid body and brain not sleeping right, I have to stay up SUPER late so that I get so tired that I practically pass out. Of course, that doesn't help me get up any earlier.
I'm just glad that I'm not rooming with any of my friends anymore. Not that they're bad friends or bad roommates, but I'd feel really bad if my tossing and turning woke anyone up. Especially her. I think I'd also feel kinda embarrassed at how late I stay up. Cause I practically do nothing to pass the time! I'm just sitting on the couch with my feet up, watching tv shows that I don't even like.
Seriously, how many medical dramas do we need? I don't know, but I've watched most of them late at night.
I do have medicine that I can take to help me sleep better. Technically, I was already supposed to be taking it, but I hate the way it makes me feel. Even my friends noticed when we were living together.
They said it made me seem like a zombie. Don't get me wrong, I love a good zombie movie or video game, but it was terrible being one. I felt like I could never think clearly and that I had clouds in my head. I forgot a ton of stuff (one time, I forgot I even asked a question before I got an answer). It always made me sleepy. Sometimes, I'd wake up just before noon and have to take a nap in the afternoon just to get through the day without going crazy. I think I almost fell asleep while walking home from somewhere. That was a weird feeling.
If I could sleep like that now, I would. I wouldn't take all the other side effects, but it did make me sleep super heavy. Like, my alarm could be set to a fire alarm/siren combo on full volume and I still wouldn't hear it. I eventually stopped setting my alarm, because it made me feel bad about waking everyone else up (in the entire neighborhood!) while I just kept on sleeping.
I'm not going to take my medicine. Even if I can't sleep, it would just bring more problems with it.
Well, time to go toss and turn for hours on end.
Yay.