//------------------------------// // Oh god why // Story: Why here!? // by Toon //------------------------------// For a second I couldn't feel anything, a inky black void with no end or beginning surrounded me before I felt my senses come all back after what felt like hours. I opened my eyes to the sudden feeling of being awake and was met with a pony, a living pony. "Hi, new friend!" I, of course, screamed as any rational human would. "AHH!!" "AHHH!" The bright unicorn of like at least 3 maybe 4 shades of blue screamed in response. "AHHH!" I was still very much afraid. "AHHH!" she now instead screamed in enjoyment. I acted fast and shut her mouth with a palm of my hand, "there's a pony in front of me... oh my god did those shit posts finally catch up to me?" I pulled away from my hand. "Well I am a pony but I'm actually a unicorn, see?" She pointed to her horn, it even shined. "Oh my god" I was completely sinking in the situation and fell onto my knees in the green grass, I'm gone from my home, away from my friends and family with no one to take care of my venus fly trap plant and no way home. She inched forward with concern to me, "Hey, are you okay?" "...Do you know what this means?" She seemed like she was unsure how to respond but I knew exactly what to say, I slowly rose myself from my knees," I'M IN EQUESTRIA!" I pumped my arms outward "YES! IN YOUR FACE DAD, DIDN'T THINK I WOULD REACH MY DREAMS DID YOU? BUT I SHOWED YOU! ALL THOSE HOURS OF MAKING FANFICTIONS PAID OFF!" My chest swelling with pride and a proud smile. I looked down on the pony that I met 5 seconds ago and scooped the little adorable life-sized plush toy to my chest. "So, where's Ponyville?" I grinned like a mad man at the idea of meeting Twilight. She seemed completely stunned for a split second but laughed at the silliness, she kinda reminded me of Pinkie pie, "Ponyville?" The unicorn moved her head sideways and used one of her hooves to tap on her chin, "never heard of it!" She shrugged her shoulders and seemed to just kinda glow with energy and feel-good vibes so I wasn't that disappointed. Besides Ponyville still might be on the down-low! Even better really, "hmm what about Canterlot?" She stopped to move her head to the opposite of my chest and hummed in thought. "There's no Canterlot, Oh! There is Canterlogic!" I knit my brow, well that didn't seem right, first Ponyville and now Canterlot? "Well, I guess that'll work, where to a new friend!" "Ooo it's over there!" Her hoof pointed out to the east, I could actually see a city over there, "Welp, no adventure starts with just waiting." I slowly lowered my arms to put my new pony friend down but she seemed to have other ideas in mind. She wrapped her hooves around my left arm, I raised an eyebrow at that and looked at her, she just smiled nervously. "Sorry it's just, I reaaaaally liked being carried." She seemed innocent enough and I wasn't going to refuse to carry a cuddly unicorn. I scooped her up once more and walked over the grassland towards my new destination. "So what's your name?" I asked since the travel time did seem a bit much. "Oh, I'm Izzy, Izzy Moonbow" that name.. sounded familiar, probably a background character the mlp fandom popularised. "Well Izzy, I'm Anon" "Ooo, so what are you?" She seemed completely ecstatic and interested and I just couldn't deny those adorable pony eyes of hers. "Well" Fortunately, the travel wasn't very long and we were already in the city. "So you're a human and you are descendants of monkeys?" Her face seemed to say it was a completely foreign idea. "Well maybe not monkeys, I didn't really care much for it but yeah?" She looked at me for a second before turning a complete 180 became giddy. "Wow! Sunny is gonna freak when she meets you!" "Sunny?" Was she talking about Celestia? "Oh, she's my friend we go waaaay back, well maybe not that far but medium far," Weird she'd know Celestia like that but hey who am I to judge with show canon! "Well, I'm sure meeting her will be a blast!" I looked around to see the city was deserted, hm strange maybe a Zecora moment? Wait this city- "Where's everyone? And what's up with this city?" The situation was becoming even more perplexing as I processed all of this. I turned to see Izzy just looking at me with a smile. "First time?" How'd she know that meme- "Pst Izzy! PSSST IZZZY" a whisper- well if you could call it whispering with how loudly it was failing to be a whisper, was coming from somewhere nearby a theater, an alleyway really. "Oh hey, Sunny! Meet my new friend Anmph-" before Izzy could finish her sentence she was taken magically. While I'd be freighted for my life at the prospect of magical kidnapping she seemed fine if the loud arguing in whispers was any indication. And also she said Sunny so I assume I shall meet a princess in an alleyway which I see no flaw in that line of thinking. While waiting for the best pony to finish her discussion I was looking around. Everything seemed somewhat familiar but it all felt foreign like something out of a remake in a way? Something didn't feel right and it didn't help I heard bits and pieces of their whispering. "What do you mean he's-" Something did feel off, usually, I'd meet the main six in my fanfics and we'd be on an adventure- I mean I don't mind staying as a human but this seems off. "Puh-lease, he's completely harmless- And that pony- seemed really off. "So he's fine- Oh hey Anon!" I walked over to the alleyway to see Izzy but it was kinda hard to see Celestia and she seemed much smaller- wait. I heard a gulp and picked up the best pone wannabe to the open light to see-...that it was Sunny Starscout. Oh. My. God "Anon you okay?" Ponk wannabe went around my leg to see my face. It all made sense now- I was sent in New Generation- where all the ponies were racist. Oh God I dropped Sunny and fell to my knees with so much pain and disappointment that it would've rivaled that of my birth. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" I shook my fists out to the sky. "CRUEL WORLD WHYYYYY!" The years of servitude I had done to the fandom to make all those fanfics of cucking Flash Sentry, those stories of myself insert becoming an alicorn for what? A DISGUSTING EXISTENCE IN A MEDIOCRE MOVIE! I slammed my fist on the pavement each word with another force of pure regret. "WHY. WHY NOW. WHYYYYYYY!?" I wept, not of tears of joy but of pain, what kind of sick god would lead me here! WHYYYYYYYYY Sunny was worried at first that a hairless ape had wandered into town but now had just seen a sad display she didn't know meant. Sunny leaned to her friend Izzy, "Is he going to be okay?" Izzy leaned back to Sunny to respond, "I actually don't know." Sunny while initially scared was now just feeling pity for the poor creature that was spouting nonsense - something about clopping and body pillows and jars. "I think I'm just gonna go back to the lighthouse." Sunny was too confused and conflicted to know what to feel.