//------------------------------// // Sarlacc Pit // Story: Cinematic Adventures: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi // by extremeenigma02 //------------------------------// Out along the hot boiling heat of Tatooine, Jabba’s huge sail barged glided above the desert surface accompanied by two smaller Skiffs. One of the skiffs glided closely, revealing, Luke, Han, Chewie, Mando, and the Equestrians—all in bonds—surrounded by guards, one of whom (Lando in disguise). “I think my eyes are getting better,” Han squinted. “Instead of a big dark blur, I see a big light blur.” “There’s nothing to see,” Luke confirmed. “I used to live here you know?” “You’re gonna die here, you know. Convenient.” “No one’s going to die out here,” Storm spoke, determined. “One way or another, we’re getting out of here.” “Just stick close to Chewie and Lando,” Luke instructed. “I’ve taken care of everything.” “Oh… great!” Han moaned. “Ah come on now Han,” Applejack spoke up. “Just give the boy a chance.” “I must agree with Applejack,” Rarity agreed. “After all, Luke hasn’t failed us so far.” “Yeah, Luke is the most awesomemest, funnest, and most bestest person ever!” Pinkie exclaimed, gleefully. “He blew up the Death Star, helped us become Jedi, and he can make one hay of a sweet cake!” Luke turned toward the pink party girl in confusion. “No I can’t,” He shook his head. “Well you could if you try,” Pinkie beamed. “Once we get out of this, I can show you all my special secret cake baking skills and maybe—” “We’re gonna die…” Han spoke, deadpanned. <> Meanwhile, Jabba the Hutt rode like a sultan on a massive antigravity ship. His entire retinue were with him, drinking, eating, and having a good time. Leia and Rainbow both watched their friends in the skiff when the chain attached to Leia’s neck pulled tight and Jabba tugged the scantily clad princess to him. “Soon you will learn to appreciate me,” Jabba spoke, in Huttese. “Just you wait, you fat tub of lard!” Rainbow growled, through her teeth. “When I get through with you, even that chomping hole in the ground won’t want you!” Just then, a hooded figure slowly passed by Rainbow Dash. The hooded figure opened its hood and Rainbow’s eyes went wide. Quickly darting her eyes back and forth, making sure no one was looking, she stealthily used the force to draw her lightsaber from the mysterious man’s belt and hid it behind her back… or at least where she ‘could’ hide it. As the hooded figure adjusted himself, working his way up to the ship balcony, he passed a wandering C-3PO amongst the Sail Barge aliens. In the meantime, the droid bumped into a smaller droid serving drinks, spilling them all over the place. The stubby droid released an angry series of beeps and whistles. “Oh, I’m terribly sor… R2!” 3PO gasped. “What are you doing here?” R2-D2 beeped a quick reply. “Well, I can see you’re serving drinks, but this place is dangerous. They’re going to execute Master Luke and the others, if we’re not careful, us too!” R2 whistled a singsong response. “Hmm… I wish I had your confidence.” <> The convoy moved up over a huge sand pit. The Sail Barge stopped along one side of the depression, as does the escort skiff. But the prisoner’s skiff moved out directly over the center and hovered. At the bottom of the deep cone of sand sat a repulsive, mucous-lined hole, surrounded by thousands of needle-sharp teeth. This is the Sarlacc. A plank extended from the edge of the prisoner’s skiff. The guards released Luke’s bonds and shoved him out onto the plank above the Sarlacc’s mouth. Jabba and Leia were now by the rail, watching. While they are doing this, Rainbow ignited her lightsaber and swiftly cut her bonds then quickly deactivated the saber before anyone noticed. 3PO leaned forward and the slobbering villain mumbled something to him. As 3PO stepped up to a commlink, Jabba raised his arm and the motley array of intergalactic pirates fell silent. 3PO’s voice amplified across the loudspeakers. “Victims of the almighty Sarlacc,” 3PO announced. “His excellency hopes that you will die honorably. But should any of you wish to beg for mercy, the great Jabba the Hutt will now listen to your pleas.” Han stepped forward arrogantly. “3PO, you tell that slimy piece of… worm-ridden filth he’ll get no such pleasure from us. Right?” Chewie growled his agreement. “We’re warning you now Jabba!” Twilight called out. “This is only going to end badly for you!” “We have powerful allies who won’t hesitate to storm that heap of Bantha waste you call a palace if you do this!” Storm added. “Jabba! This is your last chance,” Luke warned. “Free us or die!” Lando moved unobtrusively along the skiff as Luke shot a quick look of conspiracy to him. The assembled monsters rocked with mocking laughter, as R2 zipped unnoticed up the ramp to the upper deck. And right behind the droid was the very same hooded figure who passed Rainbow Dash. Jabba’s laughter subsided as he spoke through the commlink. “Move him into position,” Jabba ordered. Jabba gave the thumbs-down gesture. Leia looked worried, as R2 and the figure appeared from belove and zipped over to the rail facing the pit. Below, in the skiff, Luke was prodded by a guard toward the edge of the plank over the gaping Sarlacc. Luke looked up toward R2, giving a jaunty salute: The signal the little droid had been waiting for. A flap opened in R2’s domed head, and the figure slowly leaned in preparation. “Put him in!” Jabba ordered. One final prod and Luke jumped off the plank to the cheers of the bloodthirsty spectators. But before anyone could perceive what’s happening, he spun around and grabbed the end of the plank by his fingertips. The plank bent wildly from his weight and catapulted him skyward. In midair, he performed a complete flip and dropped down toward the end of the plank (In the same spot he just vacated) only facing the skiff. He casually extended an open palm and—his lightsaber, which R2 sent arching toward him, dropped into his hand. Not only that, but the mystery hooded figure leapt so quickly off the railing his hood flew off. And up in the sky, the group looked up and the figure revealed himself… Galen Marek, the warrior formerly ‘Starkiller’, extending his arms out as a series of lightsaber handles flew from him. By then, Twilight Sparkle and the other girls easily snapped their bonds off through the force and snagged their own lightsabers. “Well, lookie who’s come to join the party!!!” Pinkie cheered. “Marek!!!” Rarity & Fluttershy shouted. “Hey!” Marek spoke simply. “NOW!!!” Luke yelled. With samurai speed, Luke, along with the girls, Marek, and Storm, ignited their sabers. Luke attacked the guard who prodded him off the plank, sending the hapless monster screaming overboard. The other guards swarmed toward the group, but the Equestrias proved too quick using their lightsabers with relative ease to cut them down. Lando struggled with another guard at the back of the skiff. A bewildered guard landed in the soft, sandy slope of the pit, and began sliding. He clawed desperately as a Sarlacc tentacle grabbed him and pulled the screaming victim into the viscous mouth. Jabba watched all of this and exploded with rage. He barked commands, and the guards around him rushed off to do his bidding. The scuzzy creatures watched the from the window in an uproar. Luke knocked another guard off the skiff and into the waiting mouth of the Sarlacc. He started untying Chewie’s bonds. “Easy, Chewie,” Luke reassured. At that moment, the deck gunmen on the barge unleashed a series of blasts from a big cannon on the upper deck. Lando was tossed from the deck of the rocking skiff. He managed to grab a rope, and dandlged desperately above the Sarlacc pit. “Whoa! Whoa! Help!” Lando called out. “Hold on Lando!” Applejack called out. “We’ll getcha up in a moment, sugar cube!” “Where else am I going?!” Lando yelled back. “Tumbling down into the belly of a Sarlacc,” Pinkie answered, with a smile. “Yeah… thanks for the reassurance.” With two swift strides, the dangerous Boba Fett ignited his rocket path, leapt into the air, and flew from the barge down to the skiff. Boba landed on the skiff and started to aim his laser gun at Luke, who has freed Han and Chewie from their bonds. But before Boba could fire, a blast sent Bob’s gun flying. The bounty hunter turned around only to come face-to-face with Mando, also freed and having his gun retrieved courtesy of Marek. “You’re welcome!” Marek told Mando, before resuming his fight. “Mando…” Boba Fett growled. “Boba… Fett…” The Mandalorian responded, tossing the gun aside. “I truly hope Jabba’s paying you enough to die for him.” “We are both professionals in our field, Mando. But now… this is personal!” Fighting on equal grounds, the two Mandalorians duked it out with fists bashing against one another. Their marks bouncing off their armors as they brawled to the death. Immediately, the skiff took another direct hit from the barge’s deck gun. Shards of skiff deck flew in the air. The blast provided a great enough distraction to take the Mandalorian off his guard and Boba shoved him back with a stiff kick. Chewie and Han were both thrown against the rail. The wookie itself was wounded, howling in pain. “Chewie, you okay? Where is he?” Han asked. “I’m okay, pal…” For the moment, Boba Fett caught Luke distracted by all the chaos. The bounty hunter fired a cable from his armored sleeve and instantly wrapped Luke in a strong cable, pinning his arms against his side. His sword arm free only from the wrist down. Luke bent his wrist, so the lightsaber pointed straight to reach the wire lasso and cut through. Luke shrugged away the cable and stood free. Another blast from the Barge’s deck gun hit near Boba and he was knocked unconscious along the deck, next to where Lando was hanging. “Han! Chewie?!” Lando called out. “Lando!” Han shouted back. Luke and the remainder were slightly shaken but they remained standing as a fusillade bracket them. The second skiff, loaded with guards firing their weapons, moved in on Luke fast. Luke turned toward Storm, Marek, and even Twilight Sparkle. With quick nods, the young Jedis leapt into the midst of the second skiff, with Applejack following close behind for the extra muscle, and they began decimating the guards from their midst. Chewie, wounded, tried lifting himself as he barked directions toward Han, guiding him toward a spear one of the guards dropped. Han searched the deck as Chewie barked directions; finally, he grabbed hold of the spear. Boba Fett, badly shaken, rose from the deck. He looked over at the other skiff, where Luke and the Equestrians (Even Marek) whipped a mass of guards. Boba raised his arm, aiming his lethal appendage. Fluttershy, while tending to Mando, spotted the action and her eyes widened. “Captain Han!!” Fluttershy shouted desperately. “That Boba Fett guy’s up!!!” “Boba Fett?!” Han asked. “Boba Fett?! Where?” The space pirate turned around blindly, and the long spear in his hand whacked squarely in the middle of Boba’s rocket pack. The impact of the swing caused the rocket pack to ignite. Boba blasted off, flying over the second skiff like a missile, smashing against the side of the huge Sail Barge and sliding away into the pit. He screamed as his armored body made its last flight past Lando and directly into the mucous mouth of the Sarlacc… and then he belched. “Sweet Celestia!” Rarity gasped. By now, Mando finally stirred himself back as he looked around the skiff. “Where’s Fett?” Mando asked. “Umm…” Fluttershy uttered, pointing down. The Mandalorian turned over to the side, seeing where the Sarlacc lied in the pit. Pinkie Pie loomed over by his side, whistling upon sight. “Sorry about your friend there, Mr. Mando sir,” Pinkie apologized. “Friend is a strong word…” Mando replied, turning away. “Still…” Pinkie kept looking down. “Pretty anti-climatic to have a seemingly intimidating looking bounty hunter and suddenly see him killed off in the most embarrassing way. Though I wonder… could he still be able to—NAH! They wouldn’t…” Fluttershy just sighed weakly to herself, given all the crazy shenanigans happening in just one day. <> Meanwhile, with all the spectacle outside, Leia and Rainbow Dash took advantage of the distraction. Together they leapt onto Jabba’s throne, and together they threw the chain still enslaving Leia over is head and around his bulbous neck. They dove off the other side of the throne, pulling the chain violently in their grasp. Jabba’s flaccid neck contracted beneath the tightening chain, as he struggled to pull the chain off his neck. “This one’s for tormenting Captain Solo!” Rainbow grunted. Jabba’s huge eyes bulged from their sockets; his scum-coated tongue flopped out. “This one’s for endangering all of my good friends!” Rainbow grunted, tugging harder. The Exalted Hutt’s huge tail spasmed through its death throes… “And this…” Rainbow concluding, tugging harder. “… This one’s for my dignity you slimy, son-of-a—” … And the great Jabba the Hutt slammed down into final stillness before Rainbow could finish, and the evil crime boss was dead. Even Princess Leia was utterly impressed. “Didn’t know you had it in you,” Princess Leia spoke. “That was just a warm-up,” Rainbow replied, brushing her hands. “Just wait till that Sludge guy shows his face if he ever goes anywhere near Spike again.” “Where is Spike anyway?” “Let’s find out… but first, let’s get you out of that bondage.” <> While Luke and a few of his comrades continued to destroy the aliens along the guards’ skiff, Han and Rarity extended the spear downward toward Lando, who still dangled precariously from a rope on the prisoner’s skiff. “Grab it, Lando!” Rarity shouted. “Lower it!” Lando cried out. “We’re trying!” Han grunted. A major hit from the barge deck gun knocked the skiff on its side. Han, and almost everything and everyone else aboard, slid overboard. The rope broke, and Lando fell to the side of the Sarlacc pit. Luckily, Han’s foot caught along the skiff railing and he dangled above Lando and the pit. The wounded Wookie and Fluttershy held onto the skiff for dear life, as another hit from the deck gun rocked the skiff violently. “STOP BLOWING HOLES ON OUR SKIFF!!!” Pinkie shouted. “Not helping!!!” Rarity shouted. “Whoa! Whoa! Grab me, Chewie!” Han called out. “I’m slipping!” “Hang on, captain!” Fluttershy called out. Chewie and Fluttershy grabbed hold of Han’s feet, holding him upside down. Han extended the spear toward Lando, who clutched the side of the pit. “Grab it! L—Lando, grab!” Han shouted. Luke had just finished off the last guard along the second skiff. He and the others spot the deck gun blasting away at his helpless companions, while the Mandalorian tried shooting back with his recovered blaster. Quickly, the group made a great leap from the skiff, across a chasm of air, toward the sheer metallic side of the Sail Barge. Barely able to get a fingerhold, they begin a painful climb up the hull. “Storm, look out!” Twilight shouted. Twilight drew Storm’s head away when an ax suddenly smashed through a window an inch rom his head. With Jedi agility, Storm grasped the wrist holding the ax and yanked the helpless guard through the broken window… and into the deadly pit. “Thanks!” Storm sighed, continuing the climb. In the meantime, the injured Chewie reached over the rail for the dangling Han, who turned blindly reaching toward the desperate Lando. The Baron stopped his slippage down the sandy slope of the Sarlacc pit by lying very still. Every time he reached for Han; the loose sand moved him closer to his final reward. “Grab it!” Han called out. “Almost… you almost got it!” Another blast struck the front of the tilted skiff, causing Lando to let go of the spear. “Hold it! Whoa!” Lando screamed. Again, Han extended the spear toward Lando. “Gently now. All… all right. Now easy, easy. Hold me, Chewie!” Suddenly, Lando screamed. One of the Sarlacc’s tentacles wrapped tightly around his ankle, dragging him down the side of the pit where the beast waited for him. “LANDO!!!” The girls screamed. “Chewie! Chewie, give me the gun!” Han ordered. Seeing the drastic situation, time not on anyone’s side, Han retrieved his blaster from Chewbacca. He aimed carefully towards the beast. “Don’t move, Lando!” “No, wait!” Lando shouted. “I thought you were blind!” “It’s all right. Trust me. Don’t move.” “All right! A little higher! Just a little higher!” Han adjusted his aim as Lando lowered his head, and the fuzzy-eyed pirated fired at the tentacle… direct hit! The tentacle released Lando, as Chewie and Fluttershy started pulling them on board the skiff. “Chewie, Fluttershy, pull us up!” Han called up. “Come on! Okay… up, Chewie, up!” <> The deck gunners had Chewie and the desperate dangling human chain in their gun sights when something on deck commanded their attention: Luke, Marek, and three Equestrians, standing before them like pirates. They ignited their lightsabers and the deck gunners barely reached for their pistols before they young Jedis demolished them. Immediately, Luke turned toward two more gunners (Who’ve been uncovering a giant gun at the end of the barge) racing toward them, firing their laser pistols. Suddenly, a tiny figure hopped on deck before the group… Spike, the little purple-and-green dog glaring at them. Building up a growl, he gave a mighty bark… which amplified his own force and sent the gunners flying over the railings screaming like children. The heroes stood agape at the sight, particularly Twilight Sparkle. “Spike! That was incredible!” Twilight gasped. “I’m a superhero!!!” Spike smiled toothily. As he turned toward the group, he didn’t notice a Gamorrean guard ushering toward him wielding a mighty ax. “I’M A FREAKING SUPER—” *SLASH! PLOP!* Spike stared wide-eyed as the top half of the Gamorrean guard laid right in front of him. Slowly he looked up and found the bottom half standing there, with Marek’s ignited lightsaber grazing the top of it. And the bottom half slowly fell to the side with a crash before Marek turned toward Spike. “Congratulations!” Marek smirked. <> In the meantime, Leia struggled against her chains in desperation as R2 zipped through the tumult of confused monsters. Fortunately, Rainbow Dash ignited her lightsaber and sliced the chain apart. “Come on. We gotta get out of here quick,” Leia spoke. “Best plan I’ve heard all day!” Rainbow sighed. R2, Rainbow Dash, and Leia raced for the exit, passing 3PO, who kicked and screamed as Salacious Crumb, the reptilian monkey-monster plucked out one of the golden droid’s eyes. “Not my eyes! R2, Rainbow, help! Quickly, R2. Oh! OHHH! You beast!” R2 zipped over and zapped Salacious, sending him skyward with a scream, crashing into the rafters as R2, Rainbow, Leia, and 3PO hurried off. Luke and the rest warded off laser blasts with their lightsabers, the team found themselves surrounded by guards and fighting like demons. Leia and Rainbow emerged from the deck as they fought the guards. “Get the gun!” Luke called out. “Point it at the deck!” Leia and Rainbow raced toward the barge cannon and climbed the platform. Leia swiveled the gun around. “Point it at the deck!” Storm called out. A laser blast hit Luke’s mechanical hand, and he bent over in pain. Still he managed to swing his lightsaber upward and take out the last of the guards. He looked at the wounded hand, which revealed the mechanism. He flexed the hand; it still worked. Near the rail of the upper deck, R2 and 3PO steadied themselves as they searched for an escape. “R2, where are we going?” 3PO asked frantically. “I couldn’t possibly jump—AAAAAAAHHHHH!!! R2 butted the golden droid over the edge and stepped off himself, tumbling toward the sand. Luke raced along the empty deck toward Leia and the barge gun, which she brought around to point down toward the deck. “Come on!” Luke gestured. Luke grabbed hold of one of the rigging ropes from the mast. He gathered Leia in his other arm and kicked the trigger of the deck gun. The gun exploded into the deck as Luke and Leia swung out toward the skiff. “Time for us to go!” Storm declared. Storm and the rest raced away from the skiff. Storm Shield took the lead, with Twilight Sparkle following behind with Spike in her arms, Galen Marek at a tight third, and Applejack with Rainbow Dash. Together they made a great leap over the rail and soared toward the skiff where the rest of their friends (Even the Mandalorian) were waiting. Han leaned panting against the rail, as Chewie and Fluttershy helped Lando onto the deck. The remainder of their friends landed amongst the skiff with flair. “Let’s go!” Luke instructed. “And don’t forget the droids.” “We’re on our way,” Lando smirked. The Sail Barge exploded in stages in the distance. Half of the huge craft was in flames by now. 3PO’s legs stuck straight up from the dune where he landed. Next to it, R2’s periscope was the only thing above the sand. The skiff floated above them, and two large electromagnets dangled down a wire. With a loud clang, both droids are pulled from the sand. The little skiff skipped around the burning Sail Barge, which continued its chain of explosions. As the skiff sailed off across the desert, the barge settled toward the sand and disappeared in one final conflagration. Eventually, they emerge slowly from the veil of sand, pressing on against the wind. First come R2 and 3PO, followed by Leia guiding Han, then Luke and Lando came into view, each supporting one side of the towering Chewbacca, who hobbled from his wound. And right behind the group were the Equestrians, amongst them Galen Marek and The Mandalorian. “So let me get this straight, because frankly I’m confused!” Rarity spoke. “Twilight, you’re telling us that you’ve planned this whole ordeal with this Mandalorian fellow, and Marek… and of course, Spikey-Wikey?” “Actually, believe it or not, most of it was Pinkie’s idea,” Twilight remarked, toward the smiling party girl. “Even I’m still confused…” Fluttershy spoke quietly. “It’s all elementary my dear Fluttershy,” Pinkie replied casually. “See I knew Jabba-chino would arrange for most of our weapons to be taken away during our rescue mission. So we arranged for Twilight and the rest of our friends to act as if they never brought their weapons to lead those crooks to a false sense of security.” “This way, while the thugs were distracted with the Rancor fight, me and Spike would find and gain access to the weapons holding room in Jabba’s lair so this way we’d be able to retrieve the weapons without arousing suspicion,” Marek added. “Of course, we didn’t actually think you guys would actually be forced into a cage with that monster,” Spike admitted. “Yeah… didn’t quite plan for ‘that’ part actually,” Pinke chuckled, scratching the back of her head. “PINKIE!!!” The girls moaned. “We can save the arguments for later ladies,” Storm advised. “We’re already here.” Before long, they were able to make out some large vague shapes in the blowing sand. It is none other than the Millennium Flacon and, parked beside it, Luke’s trusty X-wing and Storm’s own ship. Course, they must shout just to be heard. “I don’t know,” Han remarked. “All I can see is a lot of blowing sand!” “That’s all any of us can see,” Leia replied. “Then I guess I’m getting better,” Han blinked. As soon as the group huddled under the bulk of the Falcon, the wind died down to something more describable as a severe weather condition. 3PO hit a switch, and the gang-plank lowered with a HUM. “I’ve got to hand it to you, kid,” Han told Luke. “You were pretty good out there.” “I had a lot of help,” Luke shrugged off. “Think nothing of it.” “No, I’m thinking a lot about it. That carbon freeze was the closest thing to dead there is. And it wasn’t just sleepin’… it was a big wide awake nothing!” “Makes me think if that’s how Discord feels being imprisoned in stone for a thousand years,” Twilight surmised. “Eh… he’ll probably deem it worse soon as we run into him,” Pinkie remarked. Luke and the rest nodded, as Chewie growled affectionately at the young Jedi warrior, mussing his hair like a proud uncle. Even Leia hugged him warmly as a sign of appreciation. “I’ll see you back at the fleet,” Luke spoke, moving to his ship. “Why don’t you leave that crate and come with us?” Han suggested. “I have a promise I have to keep first… to an old friend.” “We all do,” Storm added. “We should hurry though. I’m pretty sure we don’t have much time.” “What do you mean Storm?” Twilight asked. Storm gave no response other than a deep sigh and an almost sad, pained look on his face. As the back hatch of his starship opened, he made his way up toward the ramp without looking back. Twilight watched him walk up as the others came up alongside her. “Is he alright?” Spike asked. “I’m not sure Spike,” Twilight answered. “Let’s get going people,” Rainbow said. “What are we waiting for?” Twilight and the girls made their way onboard. Once inside, as Spike scurried over to settle in his own chair, Rarity handed Rainbow Dash her old clothes back. “Might wish to consider a change in wardrobe darling,” She suggested. Rainbow took the offered clothes, as Applejack leaned over toward her ear. “Yer-a keeping the outfit,” She whispered, with a wink. Rainbow’s face went from its usual cyan to scarlet red for a moment before giving a wink of her own to her girlfriend. They made their way on board and the rear hatch sealed before the ship lifted off the ground. With that, it shot back into the recesses of space with Luke & R2 taking off right behind them. In the Millennium Falcon, as Galen Marek and The Mandalorian assumed their positions in the ship, Han looked dubiously toward Lando. Obviously, the man remembered his friend’s betrayal and subsequent aide toward the Empire. “Guess I owe you some thanks, too, Lando,” Han remarked. “Figured if I left you frozen like that you’d just give me bad luck the rest of my life,” Lando stated, matter-of-factly. “So I might as well get you unfrozen sooner or later.” “He means ‘You’re welcome’,” Leia commented. “Come on, let’s get off this miserable dust ball,” Lando suggested. The other group made their way towards the Millennium Falcon and proceeded to climb aboard. All this time, while the crew hopped aboard their ships, none took notice of the dark creature looming off in the corner, stalking them. The creature growled a low guttural growl as it stared after them with eyes so red it seemed almost impossible. Soon as the ship zipped off into space, the creature spread a set of giant black wings before soaring into the air after them.