Pain was the first thing that I felt after being blasted by that too colorful rainbow. I opened my eyes and saw a strange creature looking at me with a scared expression. I said, “Where am I?”
The creature didn’t answer. Instead, it looked surprised. It said, “Y-you can talk?”
I asked, “What’s so surprising about that?”
It replied, “I’ve never seen a talking pony with a horn, and glowing eyes.”
I said, “I can talk. I asked you a question slave. Where in Tartarus am I?”
It answered, “In England.”
I asked, “What is England?”
It said, “A country in earth.”
I asked, “What is ‘Earth’?”
“The planet we’re on now.”
“Who are you?”
“Esmeralda.”
“How many others of your kind are there?”
“Lots.”
“Good. Now I can kill you without endangering the Esmeralda population.”
“Esmeralda is my name.”
“Then what creature are you?”
“A human girl.”
“Fine then, ‘human Esmeralda’, I will kill you.”
“Why are you going to kill me?”
“You ask too many questions.”
“But I don’t want to die.”
“You have no choice.”
“I’ll give you pizza.”
I asked, “What is ‘pizza’?”
The creature looked shocked, “You mean you never heard of it before?”
“Equestria never had such a thing.”
It asked, “What is Equestria?”
“The place where I came from. It’s full of talking ponies.”
“Are there unicorns there?”
“Lots.”
It’s eyes became as big as a ball, “Can they do magic?”
“Yes. When will you get this ‘pizza’?”
“I’ll get it now.”
The Esmeralda walked into another room and came back with a flat square box. She opened the box and showed me the circle inside. Then, she cut it and gave me a piece of the circle. I took it and looked at the strange thing on my hoof.
She said, “Eat it.”
“But it looks strange.”
“Take a bite. I’m sure you’ll love it.”
“But…”
“Trust me.”
“After you take a bite.”
“Ok.”
I watched the Esmeralda start eating the ‘pizza’. After seeing that nothing happened to her, I started eating. The triangle tasted good, and it had some stretchy stuff on it. A few seconds later, the rest of the circle was in my stomach.
The Esmeralda looked at me. I asked, “Why are you staring at me like that?”
“You ate the whole pizza.”
“It’s not my fault that the circle with stretchy stuff tasted good.”
“It’s called pizza, and the stretchy stuff is cheese.”
“I want more.”
“But I don’t have anymore.”
“Then get more.”
“But the pizza shop is shut now.”
“Then open it.”
“But it’s not my shop.”
“But I want more.”
She said, “I already told you. I don’t have any more pizza, and the pizza shop is shut.”
“I don’t care if it’s shut. I want more.”
“I DON’T have any more pizza.”
I ordered her, “I am your king, and I am ordering you to get more pizza. If you don’t, then I will find a different slave and kill you.”
“I am NOT your slave, and you are NOT my king.”
I said, “You are my slave and I am your king.”
She asked, “Why do you think that?”
I told her, “Because it’s true.”
“I’ll only get more pizza if you promise not to kill me.”
“Fine.”
“And promise not to break that promise.”
“Fine. Now get some more of those circles with stretchy stuff.”
The Esmeralda got a rectangle out of her pocket and pushed a button.
I asked her, “What is that?”
“My phone.”
I watched the Esmeralda click on the bright picture, and tap a few things. Then she put the rectangle near her ear and started talking.
“Hi. I wanted to know if your shop is still open.”
“You mean it’s not open?”
“But…”
“Fine.”
Then, she put the rectangle down and said, “The pizza shop is shut.”
“But I want more of those warm circles.”
“There might be some pizza left in the fridge, but if you want it, you have to answer all my questions, and let me feel you.”
“Anything for warm circles.”
“Here’s my first question. What is your name?”
“King Sombra.”
“If you are a king, what did you use to rule?”
“The Crystal Empire.”
“What is the Crystal Empire?”
“A city in Equestria made out of crystals.”
“What is in the Crystal Empire?”
“Crystal ponies, crystal hearts, lots of crystals, snow, ice, and love.”
“Did the ponies there like you?”
“They hated me.”
“Why?”
“I forced them to be my slaves, and I killed them if they didn’t do what I said. For fun, I tortured and killed them.”
“Why did you do that?”
“For revenge.”
“Oh. If you rule the ‘Crystal Empire’, then why are you here?”
“I got sent here by a rainbow.”
The Esmeralda went to another room, and I followed her. She opened a metal box that had cold air inside and moved a few things. Then, she got two flat square boxes and put the other things back.
She shut the cold box and we went back to the other room. She put the boxes on the table, and opened them. Then, she gave me a piece of the circle.
I ate it, and it was cold. “Why isn’t this circle warm?”
“Because I got it out of the fridge.”
“That cold box?”
“It’s called a fridge.”
“I want warm circles, not cold ones.”
“Can’t you make it warm with your magic?”
“I’ll try.”
My horn glowed with magic and the circles were on fire. I quickly turned them into ice, so that they wouldn’t get burnt.
The Esmeralda looked at the frozen circles, and then at me. I asked, “What?”
She pointed at the frozen circles and said, “That, is even worse than what we started with. We could eat cold pizza, but we can’t eat ice pizza.”
“Then unfreeze it.”
“You did the spell. So, you have to undo it.”
“The circles wouldn’t be frozen if you just went and made them hot.”
“I guess that is true.”
“Now go and warm them.”
The Esmeralda took the circles to the room that the cold box was in and then put them in a rectangle metal box. The box had some buttons.
The Esmeralda pressed some buttons, and then put the circles in there. I watched as the ice melted, and the circles became warm.
After ten long minutes, the Esmeralda pushed some buttons and then took the circles out.
She went to the room that we were in before, and I followed her. Then she put the circles on the table and cut them into pieces.
She gave me a plate and put the piece on it.
She said, "Be careful. It's very hot."
I ignored her and put the piece on my hoof, ready to eat it.
But as soon as I touched it, I dropped it back onto the plate.
I blew on my hoof and said, "I wanted warm circles, not burning hot ones."
She just said, "That's why I told you to be careful."
"Make my circles not so hot."
"Use your magic."
"You saw what happened the last time that I used magic on these circles."
"I did."
"Then why won't you make them a bit cooler?"
"You didn't ask nicely."
"Then how about this? I, King Sombra order you to make these circles colder."
"You are NOT a king."
"If you do what I told you, then when I become the king of earth, I will make you be my favourite slave. And I won't punish you that much."
"That wasn't asking nicely."
"If that wasn't asking nicely, then I don't know what asking nicely is."
"Say please."
"No way!"
"You've been talking so much, I bet your 'circles' have cooled down by now."
I touched one circle and it wasn't that hot. Then, I stuffed it in my mouth and ate it.
The next thing I did was, jump onto the table and eat the big circle that was in the box.
By the time I finished, my muzzle was covered in red stuff and bits of pizza.
The Esmeralda finished eating her parts of the circle and said, "You need a wash."
Then, she picked me off the table and took me to a room that had a big rectangle in it.
She turned the tap on and put a plug in the bath.
After that, she put me in there and filled the bath with bubbles.
***