{Mr. Giggles}
My name is Mr. Giggles the Clown. I have no idea why people came up with that name for me. No, a clown isn't my original form because I'm not human or anywhere near that. But the 'clown' part of my name people got right. Where the 'Mr. Giggles' part of my name came from, I'm clueless on that. Maybe it's because I laugh a lot when I'm destroying things? I'm from a family called The Destruction Clan. That's what my family's best at, destroying, but because of how my magic is, I have to destroy things. Which is fine by me.
The odd man out in the family is my younger brother, Discord. He found a place called Equestria and settled down there, marrying a citizen of that place, a pony named Fluttershy. Ever since then, he hasn't really destroyed anything, but he does cause chaos every once in a while. So that's probably what's been keeping his magic stable. He also doesn't eat the type of diet the Destruction Clan prefers, meat and only meat. From what I've heard, Discord is now a vegetarian. He only eats vegetables out of respect for his wife.
So, one day I decided to go check out the place where Discord lives. I thought for sure this place would be easy to destroy, but no, I didn't realize the rulers of this land were just as powerful, if not more powerful, than me.
It was almost as if the rulers of this land could sense my presence and what my intentions were. As soon as I even got close to their castle, they were there ready to greet me. The rulers of Equestria at the time were two Alicorns named Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.
"Halt! Who goes there?" Princess Luna called out with a stern look on her face.
I put on my best, winning smile. "My name is Mr. Giggles the Clown! And I have a question for you?"
"And what might that be?" Princess Celestia growled.
"Would you like to come to my circus?" I asked.
Princess Luna's ears went flat against her head. She snarled and then shouted very loud: "WE ARE NOT EXPECTING VISITORS TODAY! I CAN SENSE YOUR EVIL INSIDE OF YOU! BEGONE, FOUL CREATURE!"
I rolled my eyes. "Well, gee, thanks for the warm welcome! Is this how you treat all strangers that come into town?"
"No," Princess Celestia said, "part of our magic is to be able to sense when there is an evil presence around! We can use that magic to determine if someone is a threat or not."
"AND WE CAN SENSE THAT YOU ARE A THREAT! AND WE WILL END YOU!" Princess Luna shouted.
Princess Celestia looked unphased by Princess Luna's shouting. She shrugged. "I don't think we need to end him, Luna. But, he is a threat sooo…"
I remember fighting with them after that, but they used a spell that sent me to Equestria's afterlife. Now, I have to stay in a stupid cave and wait until I'm summoned to go to someplace else. Also, thanks to that spell they cast, not only am I unable to destroy anything, but I can only come out of my cave for ten years and eat, then I have to go back.
Another side effect of that stupid spell was that I can't eat the way a normal person does. The normal way would be to put something in your mouth, chew, then swallow, but not for me. I can only eat the souls of people, not their bodies. In order to eat, I have to entice them and gain their trust. Only then can I eat them. If I don't gain their trust, then no meal. It would practically kill me, and then I would have to be in that stupid cave in the afterlife for eternity.
A clown is my absolute favorite form to be in because it's the easiest way to gain someone's trust. Come on now, who doesn't like clowns? Unless you're afraid of clowns. Yes, I have run across people that are afraid of clowns, which is a pretty stupid fear for someone to have. I also use my Comedy and Tragedy Masks to help put on a show. For some reason, I've also come across people that are afraid of the masks, too. Yeah, that's also a stupid fear to have.
I have thought of a theory, which I think I'm going to use with the next place I go to. The theory is this: if I eat people that have magic in them, and if I eat enough of them, it might be possible that I won’t have to go back to that cave in the afterlife ever again. I don't know if that'll work, but I can't wait to test my theory in the next place I go.
* * *
{Betty}
I smiled as I looked around the Castle in Canterlot. It has been about twenty years since my little brother, Norman, became the ruler of Equestria. We all sat at the table in the dining hall, beneath the gold chandeliers that hung from the ceiling. The hall looked a lot like the one in the Castle in Hell, but with beautiful paintings of Norman and the main branch of his family: Sunset, Jasper, Robert, Norman Jr, and Cozy Glow, as well as a couple including me, Dae, and Ruby.
As at every family dinner, Norman, as the ruler of Equestria, sat at the head of the table, with the rest of the main branch sat next to him on either side. Jasper sat to his right and Sunset across from Jasper. Robert would sit next to Sunset. Cozy Glow sat next to Jasper, with Norman Jr beside her.
I never thought that my little brother would become the ruler of Equestria, or be married to three different people: Sunset, Robert, and Jasper. Not to mention a human having a pegasus for a son. But it makes sense, considering our mom was a human and our dad was a pegasus. I say 'was' because both of our parents are dead.
I also never thought that after my death I would wind up married to the King of Hell, with, for some reason, people referring to me as a Legend, which I don't think I am.
Dae sat on the other end of the table. I sat next to him on the right side, with Ruby beside me and my son, Otis, sitting in between us in his high chair. I gave birth to Otis three years ago. He’s not a half-and-half like me and Ruby, but a human, like Dae. Or, if you want to be more precise, Otis and Dae are demons with no wings.
Ruby was busy making silly faces at Otis while I ate. Once I’d finished, I took Otis's food out to feed him. Ruby perked up and smiled. "Can I feed him this time?"
I raised an eyebrow. "You sure you want to?"
Ruby nodded and I handed her Otis's food. I silently hoped that Otis wouldn't decide to cover the walls with his food like he has done at family dinners in the past. I remembered when he started eating baby food instead of just taking a bottle all the time. Otis would throw the food instead of eating it. Dae would stand back and laugh at it. So I would just hand the food over to him and Otis would do the same thing. When Parada, our assistant, saw this, it would give her a good laugh too.
When Ruby started feeding Otis, Dae and I ducked under the table and braced for impact. Ruby was able to feed Otis no problem. "Here you go, Otis, you want another bite?"
Otis smiled and laughed as Ruby fed him and he ate his food without redecorating the walls.
"Huh," said Norman, as he watched Ruby feeding Otis. "He seems to respond favorably to Ruby, probably because of the silly faces she's making. Too bad it's not dinner and a show."
Everyone at the table except Dae and I laughed at that remark.
I frowned. "What are you talking about, Norman?"
"Why do you think I invited you guys over around dinner time?" Norman chuckled. He gave me that goofy grin he always gives me when he's teasing me about something.
"Seriously, Norman!" I growled.
"Seeing Otis cover the walls with food never gets old. That's the same thing Norman Jr would do at that age," Norman said, still grinning.
Sunset rolled her eyes. "Of course, now that we're getting ready to have another child, he'll probably do the same thing."
"Have you thought of any names for him?" Dae asked.
"We're going with Jacob this time," Sunset replied.
I laughed. "What, no pony names for a human child?"
"No," said Norman, "we've decided to go with human names for all of our children. I'm wondering if it's possible for us to have a half-and-half child? I mean, I do have the genes for it. That would be an interesting addition to the family."
I choked on what Norman just said. "Let's hope that doesn't happen."
"Why not?" Norman asked.
"Think about it," I said. "Half-and-half children aren't necessarily accepted in Equestria. In Hell yes, Equestria, not so much."
Norman nodded. "I see where you're coming from, Betty, but since the child would be part of the royal family, people would just have to get used to it."
"I guess so." I smiled when I looked over and saw Cozy Glow give a jealous look at Otis laughing at Ruby as she fed him.
"I wish you would at least laugh at one of my jokes, Junior," said Cozy Glow. "Why won't you laugh for me?"
Norman Jr rolled his eyes. "Because your jokes aren't funny, Cozy Glow!"
I kept smiling as I watched Norman Jr and Cozy Glow talking. I remembered when Cozy Glow got her new cutie mark. Since she no longer wants to do bad things, it's completely different. Instead of a chess piece like it was before, her cutie mark is now a bow and arrow with a rose next to it. Which makes sense because her Death Walker weapon is a bow and arrow. She also loves flowers and taking care of them, that's part of her new special talent.
Everyone in the main branch of the royal family knows her as Cozy Glow, but she still goes under the name Amethyst Rose. No one else has any clue who she is. When people overhear us calling her Cozy Glow, they get puzzled and think we're insane. So they just walk by and don't even think twice about it.
"Oh, come one, Junior," begged Cozy Glow, "just one little giggle?"
"I'm a stallion," growled Norman Jr. "I don't giggle." He turned his attention to Ruby and started to give her googly eyes, trying to flirt with her. He's done this every family dinner so far.
I nudged Dae on the shoulder because I knew what was going to happen next. Ruby must've seen what Norman Jr was doing out of the corner of her eye because she stopped feeding Otis and turned around to look at him. "Why are you looking at me like that, Junior?"
Dae and I tried not to laugh because Ruby now has a boyfriend; a nobleman in the royal family named E-Johnson. He prefers to go by EJ for short. But that didn't stop Norman Jr.
"Why won't you be my girlfriend, Ruby?" Norman Jr asked, still giving her googly eyes.
"Because I don't like you that way. Besides, I already have a boyfriend, and you know this. I've told you no how many times now?" Ruby snapped.
Ruby's ears went back behind her head. Once Norman Jr kept flirting with her, I knew that as soon as she asked to leave, she would bolt out of the room as fast as she could.
Norman Jr ducked underneath the table and pulled out a red rose. He handed it over to Ruby with his hoof. "Here, I picked this from the garden yesterday just for you. It matches the ruby jewel you have on your forehead!"
Ruby rolled her eyes. "Okay, then." She looked at me. "I think Otis is full, so may I please be excused?"
I laughed. "Yes, you may, Ruby."
As soon as I excused Ruby, she flew out of the dining hall as fast as her wings could take her. Dae and I fell into a fit of laughter.
When Norman Jr jumped out of his chair trying to fly after her, Norman yanked him by the tail and forced him to sit down.
"Why do you always do that?" Norman Jr whined. "I'm trying to sweep my love off her feet!"
"I don't think stalking her is sweeping her off her feet!" Norman snapped.
"I'm not stalking," Norman Jr pouted.
"Don't you know when to take a hint?" Norman asked. "Geez, you're just as bad as the women stalking me and Jasper."
"I wish I had that problem instead," said Robert. "The only men I'm interested in are Norman and Jasper. Until I find another sane man, I'll just stick to women."
Jasper ate a bite of food and laughed. "Any chance we could trade places?"
Laughter erupted around the table. After that, Norman and Jasper got up from the table and said goodbye because it was time for Norman to lower the sun and for Jasper to raise the moon.
* * *
The day after Dae, the children, and I arrived back at the Castle in Hell, Ruby's boyfriend EJ paid Dae and me a visit.
Dae, EJ, and I walked to the garden out behind the castle and sat down at a nearby table.
"So," said Dae, "what did you want to talk to us about?"
"Well," said EJ, "I was wondering if I could get your blessings for me to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage?"
Dae looked at me and thought, Well, what do you think?
Why not? I responded silently. They've been dating for a while now. Marriage was bound to be on the table, sooner or later.
Dae nodded at EJ. "Alright, then, you have our blessings!"
"Thank you, Your Highness!" EJ said with joy.
The next day, he proposed to Ruby, and she happily said yes.
The day after that, Dae and I were sitting in our chambers discussing their engagement.
"I can't wait to see the look on Norman Jr's face when he finds out that Ruby's engaged now." Dae smiled.
I cracked up, "The next time we visit, we should bring a camera so we can record his reaction!"
Then we heard a knock on the door.
"Your Highness," Parada called, "are you in there?"
"Yes, Parada," Dae answered. "You can come in."
When Parada entered the room, she bowed to us.
"It's okay, Parada," said Dae, "you can look at us now."
She stood up straight and looked at us with a wide-eyed expression. It was as if she had seen a ghost, although since this is the Land of the Dead, whatever she’d seen was probably even scarier. "Celestia and Twilight want to see you in the Middle Ground."
"What's this about?" I asked.
Parada gulped. "Do you remember Mr. Giggles the Clown?"
Dae gave a small squeak. I tried not to laugh at the etched expression of horror on his face.
I looked over at Dae and gave him a teasing smile. "You're a wuss you know that? You know that clown's not here, right?"
"What," said Dae, "I have no idea what you're talking about. I'm not scared, I'm…" He shifted his gaze.
"You're what? You gonna finish that sentence?" I teased.
"I'm afraid of clowns…" Dae mumbled.
"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you," I said, cupping my ear, making a motion as if to show I didn't hear what he said.
"I'm afraid of clowns!" Dae shouted. "There, are you happy now?"
I snorted. "I knew it!" I turned my attention back to Parada. "Anyway, what's this about Mr. Giggles the Clown?"
"Apparently," said Parada, "he's come out of hibernation. Twilight and Celestia are panicked because the whispers from his cave are saying where he's being summoned to."
"Okay," I said, "what are the whispers saying?"
"Equestria."
I gasped. "Okay then, tell Celestia and Twilight we're on our way."
"Yes, Your Highness," Parada said. She gave us a bow and left.
"I really don't like clowns," said Dae, "but since I'm going to have to help you, I'll go."
* * *
When Dae and I arrived at the Middle Ground, Twilight and Celestia were pacing back and forth frantically. They seemed to be a little bit relieved when they saw us, but not much. They bowed to us.
"It's okay, you two," said Dae, "you can look at us now."
"You know what's funny?" Celestia said.
"What?" I asked.
"You used to bow to Twilight because she was the ruler of Equestria. Now, she's not a ruler, and dead, and she's bowing to you," Celestia said matter-of-factly.
Twilight nodded. "I know, I'm just surprised that I was the first Element of Harmony bearer to die. I thought my Element of Harmony was the strongest, but I guess not."
"I'm wondering," I said, "just because you hear the whispers around Mr. Giggles’ cave saying Equestria, does that mean he's going there?"
"Oh, yeah," said Celestia, "usually that's what happens. We sent word to Norman-"
I heard him groan behind me and I turned around to see Norman lying flat on his back. I went over to greet him and helped him get to his feet. "Thanks, Betty. You know one would think that coming to the Land of Dead that I would be used to this by now. Anyway, what's going on?"
"Do you remember Mr. Giggles the Clown, the one Dae wanted me to take care of because he's scared of him?" I asked.
"Did I just hear you correctly?" Norman laughed. "Dae, the King of Hell, is afraid of clowns?"
"Yeah, yeah," growled Dae. "I'm afraid of clowns there, the cat's out of the bag now. Good job, Betty!"
"Actually, in Betty's defense, we already knew you were afraid of clowns. We just wanted you to admit it." Norman chuckled.
"Ha, ha, very funny, you two," Dae said, rolling his eyes.
Celestia giggled. "Okay, all laughing aside, we have to deal with-"
Celestia was interrupted by a loud boom. We looked to see a beam of light going upwards and we heard the word 'Equestria' whispered from it. Mr. Giggles floated up it. While everyone looked on in horror, I looked on in anger. Mr. Giggles laughed as he floated up the beam of light to the portal. "Well, Betty, Mrs. Last Death Walker, if you want to protect Equestria- and I know you will- you should pay me a visit when I get there. See you soon."
I snarled, but before I could fly after him, he went through the portal and was gone in the blink of an eye.