//------------------------------//
// Entry 5 
// Story: Diary Of A Closet Romantic 
// by Lunar Spice 
//------------------------------//

Dear Journal,


Bleh

Today I spent the day by myself. Scootaloo had a thing at a place, and I just stayed at home, watching cartoons to feel better.

I've been thinking about baking.

There's a recipe that I always make when I'm feeling crappy. It's a family recipe, and it always makes me feel nice.

Not even my friends know about it.

I can't even cook (or bake? Is that different?) anything really. But my mom showed me how to make it and it was important to her.

So it's important to me.

I really need to visit them soon.

I have all the ingredients to make it, but I don't want to admit that I'm feeling terrible. If I start making it, then I'll think about everything.

About her, Gilda, my parents, and how I CAN'T HANDLE ANY OF IT!

I feel like I'm balancing on a tightrope over a bottomless pit. One wrong step and I'll fall to my death.

I have to be the perfect, awesome person I pretend to be. Otherwise I'll...

...

I don't even know what would happen. I don't think I want to know.

I have the ingredients. I could make the recipe.

I have a car. I could visit my parents.

I have a phone. I could call her.

But, instead, I'm just going to wallow and watch my cartoons. They make me feel happy. No character in a cartoon feels pain like this. No character in a cartoon is so paranoid about being perfect.

I wish my life was like a cartoon.

All I'd have to do was sing a little song, learn an obvious lesson, and everything would be peachy.

I'm going to cut it short today. Maybe have a little make-out session with a bottle.