Dear Journal,
I had so much to do today. Laundry, picking up Scootaloo after her thing with her friends, etc.
Instead I sat on my couch and listened to music.
I don't really have one favorite genre of music, I like most of them. I like finding different songs and stringing them together to make playlists for a ton of different things.
But I found a new band that I can't stop listening to. Their stuff is some orchestral, but also some alternative.
Of course, I'll need to stop listening to it around my friends.
They all think they know exactly what I like to listen to. Rock, rock, and more rock.
I swear, Maud Pie has more variety in her whole life than that.
Side note: I wonder if Maud (queen of all things rock) likes rock music. Or if she listens to music at all.
...that sounds terrible.
I can't even think about not listening to music. Music has such a variety that there's at least one song for every situation. Feeling angry? Fast, energetic music. Feeling sad? Slow, instrumental music. Feeling romantic? I've lost count of the number of romance songs I've heard.
I've started thinking about making a playlist for her.
I already have a few songs that make sense, but they don't really fit together.
When I make a playlist, I get SUPER nitpicky about the order. Like, seriously, I listen, relisten, and rerelisten to make sure the order sounds right. Because the songs that I usually use aren't by the same bands or singers, it's like trying to shove two differently colored gummy bears together until they stick together.
I'm also eating candy right now.
Some of the playlists I've made are REALLY long. And whenever I hear a song that would go well with it, I have to add it in and listen to it over and over again to get the order right.
The last playlist I made was about villain songs because I believe that villain songs are the best songs. They're always more catchy than the hero songs (if the hero even has any songs).
Thankfully, I don't have to lie about that to my friends. They know I'm (well, I wouldn't say obsessed) into villain songs.
It's not my fault they're so catchy.
I'm also still trying to figure out what to call this playlist about her. I like coming up with playlist names that make sense with the songs in it. Like, Fur And Leather, Clashing Composers, etc.
Clashing Composers is actually mostly music taken from some people I know. They're two friends, but they have very different styles of music. One of them likes orchestra-like stuff and the other likes dubstep and remixes. So, I put all of the songs from both of them in the same playlist.
It's actually one of my favorite playlists of mine. So many different styles in one place, I always have to turn the volume up whenever I play it.
I tried sharing my music with some of my friends a while back, but I don't think they really got it.
I also keep forgetting that I'm supposed to be hiding some of my tastes in music.
It's weird, constantly having to think about what you're saying or doing so you don't slip up and accidentally reveal something.
To be honest, it's kinda exhausting.
That's why I've been trying to distance myself from my friends.
It's not that I don't like them anymore. I just like them too much. It really hurts to care so much for people, but lie to them constantly.
If all of us are ever out and we see a couple walk past holding hands, I have to make a joke or say something sarcastic. Inside, though, I wish I could be in that situation.
I want to be able to hold hands with a special someone and walk on the beach. I wouldn't even care if someone made a joke behind my back. It wouldn't matter because I'd be with her.
I've been thinking more about asking her out on an actual date. There are a few restaurants near where she lives that we might be able to go.
Not that I looked them up or anything.
Ugh, am I really trying to lie to a book of all things?
Yes, I looked up restaurants in the area. I want something that's not super classy, but not like fast food either.
And we're not going to split the bill either! If I invite her, it's my treat, end of story!
The real question is whether I should give her a bunch of flowers too, or if that's pushing it.
It might make her uncomfortable.
Maybe just one flower?
That... might actually work.
The next time I'm at the grocery store, I need to remember to wear a hoodie or some kind of hat.
Can't let people find me browsing the flower department by myself.
People might talk and my secret would be out.
Crap! I lost track of time! I need to go get Scootaloo before I get into trouble for not picking her up.
Later.