Chapter Two Hundred and Eleven
Someone squealed and I felt something fuzzy latch around my legs. I patted its horned head until my eyes adjusted and I realized we were in the spring under the house. Unsurprisingly, the one clinging to me was Skyla. I’m not sure if she picked me on purpose or if she just jumped and latched onto whatever she could.
“Next time, warn us if we’re going somewhere dark,” I said, picking Skyla up and cradling her. “This is part of my other home, Skyla. A place you used to play in with your mother. It’s an underground pool.”
“...Really?” Skyla whispered, finally poking her head up to look around. “It’s dark, but… there’s enough light to see. It really is a pool!”
“Do you remember it?” Cadance asked. “I taught you how to float on your back and swim with your wings down here.”
“Hm… Nope.”
“Well, there’s plenty more to the house. Let’s head upstairs.” I started walking off, but a cleared throat tried to stop me. Since it was just Shiny, I ignored him.
“Our filly can walk on her own, Nav,” he finally said.
“Yeah, I know,” I replied without turning, stopping, or putting the filly down. Sadly, it was ruined when she disappeared from my arms and appeared on top of her father’s back. “You just don’t want me to have anything nice, do you?”
Eva giggled and stepped forward to claim one of my newly freed hands. Taya snatched up my other arm. They were an acceptable substitute, I guess, but a soft and warm filly was still better.
Man, I really do have problems, huh? So much for the coma… And so much for your life expectancy if I catch you reading this.
At least I got some revenge when I heard Skyla’s hooves hit the floor. “I can walk on my own, daddy!” Ah, they grow up so fast. “But I can’t get carried like that anywhere else! What do you have against Lady Navi, daddy?”
“Say, why isn’t she getting mad at you?” Eva whispered. “Haven’t you been bullying Shiny, too?”
“She’s so young she barely understands what’s going on,” I whispered back. “Most of what she understands is tone, facial expressions, and body language. As long as you’re careful about those, you can say basically whatever you want and she’ll just smile and play along.”
“Mommy, that’s kinda messed up,” Taya whispered.
Since it seemed that Shiny and Skyla were having a father-daughter moment, I led the way up the stairs and into the kitchen. “I guess I probably should have checked to make sure Lyra and Bonnie actually moved out before asking you to teleport us here. But I really didn’t expect you to just take us to the cellar.”
“They already moved out,” Taya replied. “A small army of changelings helped them move everything they owned to a house on the outskirts of Ponyville. Lyra told me about it after the fact, when I came to help survey for the college.”
“I’d also like to check out how that project is going. If you two get bored, you’re welcome to take Skyla and go explore or something, as long as you promise not to go near the Everfree.”
“What? Why not?” Taya asked.
“Skyla’s a princess. Even if she’d be safe with you, there’s no reason to subject her to possible harm. Plus, it’s no place for someone like Eva.”
“Yeah, it’s scary in there,” Eva said, nodding. “Even the bugs can explode!”
“Neither of them are tree sisters, so they can’t just painlessly walk through like us,” I said. “And here’s the kitchen…”
“It’s like nothing changed!” Eva said, releasing my hand so she could run around. Taya held steady and seemed quite pleased that she had me all to herself.
“It would have been surprising if anything had changed,” Doppel said, gently pushing past me. I realized we were holding up the door and pulled Taya out of the way so Cadance could get through.
“Another couple lived here for a pretty decent amount of time,” I said. “It wouldn’t be weird if they redecorated a little.”
“Not when it comes to your home,” Cadance said. “This house was gifted to you by royalty. It’s only natural that the ones looking after it for you would leave it relatively untouched.”
“Guess I’ll take your word for it.”
“You know, we could have a home grown for you in our kingdom, too…”
“Grown?”
“That’s how crystal houses are made,” Cadance said. “We don’t have a mine anymore, but there are still several in the castle’s storage. When infused with the right kind of magic, they grow and fuse into a surprisingly customizable building.”
“That sounds pretty cool, but two houses already seems like more than I’ll need for a while.”
“Then I guess you’ll just have to stay in the castle whenever you visit,” Cadance replied.
“That means I can use the really cool bath room, right?”
“No, those are usually off-limits for visitors. There is a hot spring nearby, but nobody has the technical or magical know-how to monetize it.”
“What’s the cost for the land?”
“It’s completely unincorporated. Aside from the railroad, we make no claims on the lands outside of the shield keeping the snow out. If you think you can do something with it, you’re welcome to try.”
“Do you know how?” Shiny asked as he trudged up the stairs. Skyla was following right behind, a somewhat pouty look on her face. “If you could build some kind of inn there, it might bring some more tourism our way.”
“I have a few ideas, but I’ll need to talk things over with Luna and Twilight. This is the kitchen, Skyla. Do you remember anything here?”
The filly walked a little further into the room, her eyes looking here and there. “Hm… I think… Oh!” She trotted over to one of the drawers, opened it, and pulled out the throwing knife hidden under the bottom. “I remembered this!”
Cadance immediately floated it away, landing it expertly in my hand. “Somehow I’m not surprised,” she said, casting a short glare my way.
“You shouldn’t play with knives at your age, Skyla,” I said, sliding the knife into my empty hidden pocket. “At least wait until you’re as old as Taya.”
“I wonder what else I’ll remember!” Skyla shouted, taking off at a gallop. Cadance squeaked and hastily followed. I had a feeling a lot of knives were about to get pulled out of all kinds of places.
“...I knew I shouldn’t have let them stay here,” Shiny muttered. This time, all I could do was hang my head. He scoffed and hastily followed his wife.
“Do you want to look around, my lady?” Doppel asked.
“I didn’t have time to make many memories in this house, but they were mostly good ones,” I said. “If the bed’s ready for use, I might throw you on it for a few minutes.”
“Do you really have to say that in front of me?” Taya asked.
“What, you don’t want to look around?” I asked.
“I mean, a house is a house, I guess. It’s only a home if you’re there. The building itself is unimportant.”
“Wow. Have some sentimentality, at least.”
“It’s never done you a lick of good, mommy. Anyway, how passive aggressive and mean can I be to Cadance?”
“I’ll allow you to be snippy, but don’t be rude in front of her filly. I don’t want us to be the ones who ruin Skyla. I just want to teach her some weird slang to annoy her parents. And if Cadance apologizes or whatever, don’t be a bitch about it.”
“Tch, whatever…”
“You need to act like a good role model for Eva, you know,” I said, booping her.
“I’m pretty sure she’s older than me.”
“Probably not mentally, at least not her. Eva probably won’t ever grow up, if I had to guess.”
“So… you have two permafillies, then?”
“Kinda sorta looks that way, yeah.” Here’s hoping it stays at two. “Anyway, no reason to just stand around in the kitchen. I wanna know if Skyla can actually find them all.” I started tugging Taya along toward the living room.
“How many were there?” Taya asked.
“Fifty,” Doppel replied. “I helped hide them. We only put one in the kitchen because there were already so many knives in here.”
By the time we got there, Shiny was standing guard over an impressive array of knives. “I hope you’re happy, Nav,” he said. “The only thing Skyla seems to remember is your collection of hidden blades.”
“I never once saw her pull one out,” Doppel said.
“She only used a knife on me once, and that was one I had in a holster,” I said. “I had no idea she knew about all the hidden ones. I wouldn’t say I’m happy, but I am impressed. How many is it so far?”
Shiny opened his mouth, but the sound of a small knife teleporting in cut him off. “That makes forty,” he said with a sigh.
“The last ten were in my room,” I said. “As far as I know, Skyla never even went in there.”
“Why were these things even lying around, anyway?” Shiny asked.
“They weren’t lying around,” Doppel said. “They were very well hidden. I had Cadance vet every room. She only found seven of them.”
“I didn’t even know they were here,” Taya added.
“Shiny, you entrusted me with the defense of your wife and daughter,” I said. “You should know that without weapons or the element of surprise, I’m not very useful in a fight. Carrying a sword around all the time would get tiresome, so I elected to keep weapons hidden here and there just in case. And as Doppel said, we had Cadance’s permission. For the seven knives she did find, we hid them better.”
He opened his mouth to reply, but another teleport cut him off. Ten more knives fell into the pile, followed by a pair of very racy panties.
“Oh, that’s where those went,” Doppel said, reclaiming the panties.
“I uh… don’t really know what to say,” I said. “Did she go in my room? When, though?”
“I never saw her in there,” Doppel said.
“It s-sure is a mystery, huh,” Taya… suspiciously said. She was even looking away and blushing slightly.
“It looks like you have something to say, Taya. Why don’t you tell the rest of the class, hm?”
“...As long as you promise not to ask how I know, I think I can tell you when she was in there.”
“Please, enlighten me,” I said with a warm, motherly smile.
“That’s not a promise, mommy.”
Damn, she got me. “Spill the beans or I’ll start tickling you.”
“I may be human, but I can still use magic. Do you really want to make that kind of threat, mommy?”
“Flo, would you kindly…?”
“With pleasure,” she replied in my head. “Feel free to begin at any time.”
Tickle torture really is soothing for the heart. In her human form, Taya… jiggled a lot more than I would have liked, but that didn’t stop me from fulfilling my parental duty. Thankfully, it only took a few minutes to break her.
“...This is a side of Taya I never thought I’d see,” Shiny muttered. I don’t know why he was trying to be quiet when we could all clearly hear him and see his big smirk, but whatever.
“So, when was Skyla in my room and how do you know?” I sweetly asked, snuggling my little girl close. I couldn’t see her bright red face this way, but I could feel her intense heartbeat.
“...She watched you sleep sometimes,” Taya quietly replied. “Usually with a glare on her face. Sometimes carrying several knives.”
“And how do you know this?”
“I found her while I was sneaking into your bed…”
“And why didn’t you think to mention this to me or Cadance?”
“Uh… Because I was sneaking into your bed?”
“And you weren’t worried?” Doppel asked. “I mean, a foal breaking into your father’s room to watch him sleep while glaring and holding weapons didn’t scare you?”
“She was just watching, right?” Taya said. “Every time I came in, she even smiled and waved at me! Meanwhile, I was actually crawling in and cuddling you!”
“Shiny, point that glare at Taya, not me,” I said.
“You aren’t even looking at me. How do you know I’m glaring at you?”
“I know what you’re about. I’m the victim here, so I don’t need your judgment. Anyway, we now have more answers than we know what to do with. Let’s drop this line of questioning here.” I released my daughter and turned to the pile of knives. “Taya, can you send these back to our house in Canterlot? We can have them tuned up, runed up, and sharpened before we hide them again.”
“...I can’t believe Flo won’t let me use magic against you,” Taya muttered, successfully using her horn to teleport the knives away. “Worst guardian ever!”
“Why would you want to use magic when you could use your own hands?” Doppel asked. “I successfully tickled her with no magic. There’s nothing stopping you from accomplishing the same feat.” Taya looked down at her hands before sending a very un-ponylike smile my way. She stood no chance against me alone, but with Eva… I would have to be on my guard.
“So, I have a question,” Shiny said. “Why was Skyla watching you sleep, glaring, and holding weapons?”
“I think that’s a question for the ages,” I replied with a shrug. “I’m just thankful she never used the knives. Also, we might want to keep this between us.”
“...Agreed,” Shiny said. Taya sighed in relief.
It didn’t take much longer for Cadance to return to the living room, carrying a giggling Skyla with magic. Eva was right behind her and wasted no time reattaching herself to my side. “Well Nav, she found ‘em all,” Cadance said, finally setting Skyla down on the couch. “I have no idea how and I certainly can’t say I’m happy about it, but I’m honestly a little impressed.” Shiny groaned and facehooved. “Oh, relax. It’s not like she ever hurt herself. It was surprising to see knife after knife appearing and then start floating around the room, though.”
“It seems like a pretty efficient fighting style, to me,” I said. “I don’t think telekinesis uses as much magic as making a fireball. If you just carried a few knives, you could probably use those to slice people up with considerably less magic than it would take to blow them up. Plus, it would be quieter.”
“That takes a lot of skill, more than most unicorns have,” Shiny said. “It’s more efficient, but also considerably more difficult. And doing things quietly goes against standard guard doctrine, not that it would matter to you.”
“Speaking of, where’d the knives go?” Cadance asked.
“Taya sent them back to Canterlot. They need to be serviced. Eva, have you had your fill of running around?”
“For now, yeah,” she replied with a nod.
“Then shall we visit the university site first? Taya, lead the way.”
“Why can’t I lead the way?” Eva asked.
“Do you actually know the way?” I asked.
She was silent for a few seconds before shaking her head. “I guess that’s why I can’t lead the way, huh?” I replied by patting her back with a wing. It made her giggle, at least.
Taya sighed and released my arm so she could grab Eva’s hand. She pulled her sister outside, presumably so they could both lead the way. It made sense, so we followed. Doppel made sure to close the door behind us like a proper maid.
“Wow, there’s even a wall!” Skyla said. “Our house doesn’t even have one of those!”
“Your house also doesn’t need a wall,” I said. “This place is right next to the Everfree Forest, which is currently one of the most dangerous places in the country. Monsters rarely wander out, but having a wall means you’re usually safe if they do. As far as I know, there aren’t any monsters in your kingdom. If there are any, the magical barrier would keep them out.”
“Hm… What is a monster, anyway? Everyone talks about them, but I’ve never actually seen one…”
“Monsters are dangerous magical creatures,” Shiny replied. “Some can fly, some can spit poison, some can even use basic magic.”
“One example of a monster is a glacial frog,” I said. “We fought some of those recently. They’re large frogs about half as tall as the wall and covered in sharp icicles. They shoot out blasts of cold air to immobilize their target so they’re easier to eat. There’s one called the manticore that lives in the Everfree. It’s a large cat twice the size of a pony with a scorpion tail full of poison. It attacks using its teeth, claws, and tail. Another one that lives in the Everfree is called the dingonek, which is another cat-like monster about twice the size of a manticore. Its entire body is armored with scales, its fangs are longer than my legs, and it has a pretty scary horn.”
“...Why would you live here?” Skyla whispered, her eyes wide. Because I’m introverted and this was the only way I could get ponies to leave me alone for five minutes.
“To protect Ponyville,” Cadance replied. “It’s a town nearby. Before Nav moved here, monsters would occasionally harass them. With this fortress to attract their attention instead, the attacks stopped.”
“I highly doubt that was the only reason,” Shiny said, staring at me quite dubiously.
“I mean, I was a knight at the time, you know,” I said. “Protecting the people is important or whatever, right?”
“Didn’t you ask Chrysalis to build you this place to make Luna look bad?” Shiny asked.
“What? No, Twilight kicked me out after a series of unpleasant things happened to me. I asked Chrysalis for help to spite the entire pony race, not just Luna.”
“What’s spite?” Skyla asked.
“A human thing,” I replied, tousling her hair. “Don’t worry about it. And don’t worry about monsters, either. Between your father, your mother, me, and Taya, nothing will harm you.”
“...You can fight?” she asked, curiously looking me up and down.
“I’ve been known to in the past, yes.”
“Huh… I guess I should have clung to Eva earlier, then. I picked you since I thought everyone would circle up to protect us both.”
So it was on purpose, but not because I’m her favorite. Alas. “I may be a countess, but your mother is a princess. Wouldn’t you think she’d need protecting, too?”
“No, she’s super strong!” Then how could Shiny have been bullying her?
“True, she’s probably the strongest one here,” I said with a nod.
“That’s hardly a compliment, you know,” Cadance said. “Shall we find this university of yours, Nav?”
“Don’t ask me. Taya’s the one who’s supposed to be leading the way. This is my first time going, so I don’t know where exactly it is.”
“I stopped because you stopped, mommy. Don’t make me out to be the bad girl here!” With that, my filly began moving again, pulling Eva along. The gate was currently open and a few changeling drones were walking around the top of the wall. None of them reacted to us, so I figured they were probably looking out for monsters. Taya didn’t mention them at all, so I decided to just ignore them. It’s not like I could get any information out of a drone, anyway.
“Even the front of the house looks cool!” Skyla said. “I’ve never seen stones that color before!” The front of the house had a lot of olivine on it. Most of the crystals in her kingdom were blue, so I guess green was new and exciting.
“Yeah, but our palace is so much better,” Shiny said.
“It’s not a competition, daddy,” Skyla said with a small scoff.
“This is your first time out of the Crystal Kingdom that you can remember, isn’t it?” I asked. “We should take some time to visit Ponyville while we’re in the area. There’s a ton of buildings in that town you’d probably love.”
“That’s a good idea, but aren’t you busy with pageant stuff?” Cadance asked. “We’re basically on vacation, so if you need to go back to Canterlot after looking over your fief, we can show her around Ponyville.”
“What pageant stuff? I have no idea what any of the events are, so I can’t practice. The only thing I have to do is pick up my clothes. Rarity’s the one working on my outfits and she’s in Ponyville, so we could poke our heads in there to see if any of them are ready.”
“...I never thought I’d hear you suggest going to Ponyville, mommy,” Taya said.
“What do you think Pinkie would do to us if we kept such a cute filly from her?”
“Oh.” Her whole body shivered for a moment. “Ugh, that’s a terrifying thought… Good call, mommy.”
“Who’s Pinkie?” Skyla asked.
“Pinkie is a mare who lives in Ponyville,” Cadance replied. “She’s one of your aunt’s friends.”
“I’ll be very interested in what your special eyes see around Pinkie, Skyla,” I said. Maybe it’ll tell me how to avoid her. Tch, as if that’s even possible.
“Hm… I’ve only ever seen mist around everyone but you, Lady Navi.”
“Pinkie is also a seer, though her powers work differently. That’s why I think you might see something around her.”
“Wait, Pinkie can see into the future?” Cadance asked.
“It’s usually imprecise, but she’s getting better at reading it. Her powers told her about Flo, for example. She tried telling the others, but they didn’t believe her. And right before I left Equestria on my airship, Pinkie told me about a genie that could solve some of my problems. I thought she was talking nonsense at first, but I found proof of a genie later. Now that I think about it, she might be a modern day Cassandra.”
“Is that another human legend?” Shiny asked.
“Apollo, an old god of the sun, favored a princess named Cassandra. He offered her power in exchange for her love. She agreed. Apollo gave her power. Cassandra spurned him afterward. Since the power couldn’t be returned, Apollo cursed her. Though she could see into the future, nobody would ever believe her prophecies. The story ends on a tragic note, so I’ll stop there.”
“Well, you obviously believe her,” Cadance said. “Though I find it hard to believe, myself.”
“Most of Pinkie’s prophecies are common things, like telling her that something is about to fall where she’s standing. She’ll get a twitch in her tail or a cramp in her leg and just… know something. She also generally doesn’t like talking about it, so don’t bring it up around her.”
“Then why did you tell us?” Shiny asked.
“I thought you might like to know your filly wasn’t alone in the world. I figured Pinkie would be interested in learning it, too.” It’s bad, but I keep expecting her to just suddenly appear. Is this a sign I’ve been traumatized? “That said, it might be wise to keep Skyla’s skill a secret, too.”
“Why is that?” Cadance asked.
“Two reasons. First, you never know when you might need a hidden ace or two, and being able to see possible futures is quite the ace. Second, because people will come from far and wide to have their fortunes told… and try to garner favor with the royal family while they’re at it. It seems like it would be a hassle.”
“And keeping it a secret wouldn’t be?” Shiny asked.
“I dunno. That’s on y’all.”
“We should be able to see the university site soon,” Taya said. “It’s around the next copse of trees, if I remember right. At the moment, there’s not much there, though. The changelings were waiting for your approval to begin, mommy.”
Is that where you’re at now, Flo?
“Yes. Darya is with me. It might be wise to warn Skyla, lest she think we’re some manner of monster. ”
“Two water elementals are waiting for us there,” I said. “You probably don’t remember ever seeing one of those, Skyla. They’re friends of mine, so don’t worry about them.”
“What’s an… elemental?” Skyla asked.
“They are guardians that my kind built long ago,” I replied. “The two we’re about to meet are made of water. Their upper bodies are shaped like humans.”
“That sounds really cool! Why don’t we have anything like that in our kingdom?”
“They were made by humans, so they serve humans,” Shiny replied. “There was one in our kingdom, but Nav took her away from us.”
“Which turned out to be a good thing, in the long run,” I said. “She was corrupt and probably would have caused a lot of damage to your kingdom if she stayed. Thankfully, I found a way to purify her.” You know, hopefully. Assuming Jonathan didn’t infect them with his own brand of corruption instead.
“And it’s not like we even knew she was there, given that she was buried deep under the ice,” Cadance said. “Several of the others were in similar circumstances until Nav rescued them.”
“...I dunno if I trust a guardian that needs to be rescued,” Skyla said, looking down.
“The world is a big place,” I replied, tousling her mane yet again. “There’s always someone stronger than you, so anyone can end up needing to be saved.”
“Your hands really are nice…” the filly whispered, looking at the one I used on her. “I kinda wish we had those in our kingdom, too…”
“Tell me about it,” Cadance said with a sigh. Shiny slapped her with his tail.
“I could pet you whenever you wanted,” Eva said. “But it’s really not the same. Mommy’s skill is amazing! She can put even the most ornery of ponies to sleep in less than five minutes!”
“I don’t know if that’s actually true, but there have been a few ponies who fell asleep while I was petting them,” I said.
“We’re clearly not going to let you pet our filly,” Shiny said.
“I mean, you won’t even pet me anymore,” Cadance said. “Either pet us all fairly or not at all, I say!”
“Anymore?” Shiny whispered.
“I’ll let you watch me rub Shiny’s belly for permission,” I said.
“Deal!” Cadance immediately replied.
“Cadance!” Shiny shouted.
“Negotiation is about everyone getting a little of what they want,” Cadance said, patting his back. “And everyone wins from this, honey. There’s no need to be angry.”
“Do tummy rubs feel good, too?” Skyla asked.
“They’re legendary,” Cadance said.
“Depends on the pony,” I said. “Most enjoy them. One had a more… adult reaction, but she had a weird thing about other species.”
“Well, I’m not particularly interested in one,” Shiny replied.
“As a prince, you should be aware that sometimes, you have to barter away all kinds of things to keep everything going,” I said. “And you’ll also find that the deals your partner makes are binding to you as well, even if they’re not so beneficial. And, well… This deal has already been made.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
I smiled at him oh-so-sweetly. “Tonight. You.” It actually made him flinch and gulp in fear.
“Don’t worry, honey,” Cadance said, wrapping a wing around him and pulling him close. “I’ll be there to make sure Navi doesn’t do anything strange!”
“That doesn’t—”
“Oh look, we’re here!” Taya shouted, cutting him off.
“Yep, we sure are,” I said. “That’s a pretty big stockpile. I kinda wonder where they got all those stones.” Several stacks of stone bricks, wood, and other building materials lined the plains outside the forest. They were all covered in tents. The forest itself had clearly been cut back, with the ground having been burned away where the trees were removed. There were already signs that the Everfree was trying to grow back, though. A few more drones were roaming around making sure the tents didn’t go flying. Two sentients were guarding a fully enclosed tent next to the stacks of supplies.
“And those are the water elementals, Skyla,” Cadance said, releasing her husband and using magic to float Skyla onto to her back. At the moment, Flo and Darya were slithering over to join us. “One is Flo, one of Nav’s most loyal friends. I’m afraid I don’t know the other, though.”
“That is Darya,” I replied. “Until a few days ago, she went by the name Aqua.”
“So you made your decision, huh?” Shiny asked.
“I knew maintaining the status quo with her was dangerous, but she had answers I needed. Anyway, what do you think, Skyla?”
“They don’t look dangerous at all, but… I don’t see anything at all around them… Even animals have something!”
“That’s probably because they’re not actually alive,” I replied, booping her. “Your ability allows you to peer into the soul. Humans created them. They have no soul to peer into.”
“Whoa… Why can’t we create things like that?”
“Because we aren’t insane and full of spite,” Shiny said.
“Spite must be really cool, then!” I noticed Shiny glaring at me for some reason, so I stuck my tongue out at him while his filly was still focused on the elementals.
It didn’t take too much longer for them to get close. As expected, Flo made a beeline straight toward me for a snuggle. Her entire body lit up pink once I was securely in her grasp. Darya maintained a comfortable distance. “Hello again, Flo and Darya,” I said as I was viciously cuddled. For some reason, Skyla started giggling. “I’m sure nobody would mind if you cuddled Shiny and Skyla, too.”
“No, cuddling you is enough,” Flo said. She turned to the filly with me still held in her arms. “It’s good to meet you, Skyla. I am Flo.”
“It’s nice to meet you! I guess you really like Lady Navi, huh?”
“Yes, she’s my favorite.”
“Greetings, young one,” Darya said, nodding to the most adorable filly present. “I am Darya.”
“Hi! Do you not like Lady Navi as much?”
“Flo got to her first. I am merely waiting my turn. Patience is a virtue, I’m told.”
“Even when waiting for dessert?” Skyla asked, tilting her head.
“Depends on the dessert, of course,” Taya replied.
“So, this is the university site,” I said. Before I could continue, Flo tossed me over to Darya, who caught me and immediately pulled me in for a snuggle. Flo’s body returned to blue while Darya’s lit up pink. Skyla started giggling again, but I ignored it. “Is there any reason in particular this location was chosen?”
“The university will be at the center of the new town,” Flo said. “Since the main reason you had a house built out here is because you’re introverted and it was the only way you could get anyone to leave you alone for five minutes, we decided to make your current house the edge of your town in that direction.” Shiny snorted and Cadance giggled. “I’m sure the town will grow more and faster than you expect, so this might not be the heart for very long.”
“Are you sure putting a university that specializes in inventions in the center of the town is a good idea?” I asked.
“With magical shielding, explosions pose much less of a risk,” Shiny said. “Are you really so worried about your vaunted human technology exploding, Nav?”
“Human technology was meant to be handled by dexterous hands, not blunt hooves. Plus, we’re going to be modifying it to work with magic rather than electricity. There’s no telling what’ll happen.”
“That can be handled with remote testing facilities connected via teleport runes,” Darya said.
“Makes sense. If I’m completely honest, I don’t really know much about making a college. Who was in charge of designing it? Celestia’s ponies or Moonbeam’s changelings?”
“It was a joint effort between them and us,” Flo said with a wide smile. “We used models of universities back in your time as a reference.”
“Getting the two other groups to settle on a coloring scheme was a nightmare,” Darya said, shaking her head in disappointment. “The changelings demanded green and black while the ponies were dead set on white and gold.”
“As long as you didn’t settle on something dumb like rainbow-themed, I’ll probably be fine with it,” I said. “I’d personally prefer black and green, but I imagine trying to learn in such an environment would feel oppressive for most fae.”
“That was our conclusion as well,” Flo said. “Brighter colors will hopefully encourage them to stay awake and attentive.”
“How big will the place be, overall?”
“The first stage will be able to host twenty courses and has five large assembly-style auditoriums,” Darya said, finally passing me back to Flo. “We’ll leave room to expand to a second stage with fifty courses and fifteen assembly rooms. The final stage hosts eighty courses and thirty auditoriums. This doesn’t include things like administration buildings, housing, cafeterias, and other things like that. It also doesn’t include external expansions linked by teleporters.”
“Out of curiosity, was Twilight involved in the development process?” Shiny asked.
“She was,” Flo replied. “Though most of her time was spent interviewing professors. It takes a special kind of person to work with my lady, after all.”
“I guess keeping up with a hero is hard…” Skyla said.
“Mommy’s certainly… unique,” Taya said.
“She’s a menace!” Shiny muttered.
“Daddy, why do you keep bullying Lady Navi?!” Skyla demanded.
“Here I am, minding my human business, doing my human best, and here’s a pony to drag me back down,” I said, trying to sound as sad and downtrodden as possible. “How miserable must I be for you, Shiny…?” I even managed to get some tears to come to my eyes.
“Nobody’s buying it, Nav!” he growled.
“Daddy, what is wrong with you?!” Skyla shouted, proving that there was at least one person buying it.
“Shiny, stop being mean to our host,” Cadance said. “Nav, do your best to stop provoking Shiny. And Flo, it’s Darya’s turn again.” Shiny and I glared at each other while Flo passed me back to Darya. “Skyla, don’t worry about anything your father says to Navi. It’s all harmless banter, even if it doesn’t seem that way. Sometimes adults express their feelings in strange ways.”
“W-wait… is daddy trying to seduce her?!”
“No,” three voices replied instantly. It was me, Cadance, and Shiny. I’m not sure how we pulled off the perfect synchronization, but it was pretty cool.
“Oh… So why is he bullying her, then?”
“You’ll understand when you’re older,” Flo said. “Shall we go to the main tent to look at the blueprints?”
“Yeah, lead the way,” I said.
“Eva, would you and Taya care to set up the blanket and picnic basket in the shade of one of the stockpiles?” Cadance asked. Her horn lit up and everything she prepared earlier appeared before us.
“You got it,” Eva replied with a salute. “We’ll bring Skyla with us, too.”
“Stay away from the forest,” I said. “Looking at you, Taya.”
“I didn’t need the second warning, mommy. I’ll make sure nothing happens, so relax.”
“...There are monsters in that forest, r-right?” Skyla asked, eyeing the trees with fear.
“There are,” I said. “Taya will protect you. Not to mention all the changeling guards that are roaming around.”
“And we’ll only be a few meters away,” Shiny said, patting her back. “Don’t worry about a thing, Skyla. I wouldn’t have let you live here when you were just a baby if monster attacks were common. They almost never show up.” Wow, way to throw down a death flag. Get your shit together, prince. Flo, make sure Taya’s extra cautious.
Taya’s horn lit up and a small beam of light extended out in a circle. “That was a spell called detect life. There’s nothing bigger than a bird up to a kilometer into the woods. I’ll know as soon as something gets closer.”
“There’s a spell for that?” Cadance asked.
“It’s one of the explorer and guard basics,” Shiny said. “Though it only started being taught to the guards after a certain incident involving Nav at the Gala.”
“It’s sad that I don’t actually know which one you’re referring to,” I said. “Was it the time Celestia lost or the time Blueblood showed up?”
“The time Celestia lost,” Shiny said with a small smile. “It’s a funny memory now, but at the time… She didn’t tell any of us about it, you see, so we were caught flat-hooved.”
“These days, I would definitely be more subtle,” I said. “It was fun at the time, but I’m surprised Celestia didn’t get more angry about it. Anyway, now we know we’re all safe from monsters. Darya, to the tent!”
“At once, my lady,” Darya replied, already beginning to move. I couldn’t really look back the way I was being held, so I could only assume the others were following. “And to answer your unspoken question, I’ll put you down once we get inside.”
Since there was no need to voice the question, I didn’t feel the need to voice a response. We closed in on the tent quickly enough that it didn’t matter anyway. The guards in front watched us approach. One of them smirked when he saw me, but neither said anything. I was trying to look as dignified as possible, but it didn’t amount to much.
There was no one in the tent, but there were several tables set up with large, 3D models made of stone. It looked like they were using them to plan buildings. Darya finally set me down and I walked over to the largest model there, which happened to be a statue of me. It was the latest iteration, with the fairy wings and vine tail.
“Why is this here?” I asked.
“It will be the centerpiece of the academy,” Flo replied with a smile.
“I’m not going to approve a statue of myself in my territory,” I said. “Denied.”
“This was approved by all three groups, though,” Flo said.
Shiny, Cadance, and Doppel finally caught up and sure enough, all of their gazes drifted straight to the statue. “Really, Nav?” Shiny asked.
“I just told them no. Remember, I had no input on any of this. I don’t need more giant versions of myself out there.”
“How many are there?” Cadance asked.
“As far as I know, two. One in your kingdom and one in a changeling city. I wish it was zero…”
“Didn’t you use to complain about being hated?” Cadance asked. “Having statues made to commemorate your heroic endeavors helped fix that!”
“The main thing I complained about was being the center of attention all the time. Every time I went anywhere or did anything, I had a good chance of getting dragged into some nonsense just for being different. The statues didn’t help with that. Anyway, no statues of me in any of my towns going forward, Flo.”
“...What if the citizens request it?”
“Deny them. Now then, moving on…”
“Can I keep that statue?” Cadance asked. “Since it doesn’t seem like you have any use for it…”
“It’s not mine to give away,” I said. “For all I know, somebody else already has dibs.”
“I want to say you’re wrong, but I honestly can’t,” Shiny said, sighing. “Besides, what would you even do with it, honey?”
“Hide it around the castle to scare the maids, of course,” Cadance said. Best princess strikes again!
“Would that really scare the maids, though?” Doppel asked. “Isn’t Nav a hero in your kingdom?”
“How would you feel if a statue just suddenly showed up in the middle of what used to be a completely normal hallway?” Cadance asked.
“If it was a statue of my lady, I’d feel at ease,” Doppel replied with a confident smile.
“That makes you the edge case, I think…”
“I’m noticing a theme with the rest of these building models,” I said, deciding to cut them off before things got even more weird. “Why are they all Roman-esque?”
“We presented options from several human cultures,” Flo replied. “The ponies and changelings agreed that the Roman buildings looked the nicest. At least, when taking your own preferences into account.”
“I mean… It looks cool I guess, and Roman buildings are made to last. Any thoughts from the royals?”
“It looks fancy, but kinda old-school,” Shiny said.
“I remember seeing ruins kinda like these during one of the Europe parties,” Cadance said. “If our world mirrors yours… Were the Romans a culture that came before your time, Nav?”
“Yes, Rome was a vast empire before my time. It didn’t get as big as Celestia’s, nor did it last nearly as long.”
“Why not something from your time, then?” Cadance asked.
“I was too young for college, so I have no direct memories of one. I don’t really care what we use as long as it’s functional and the complaints about it are minimal. I guess we should probably talk about the courses, too. Math is critical, for sure. As far as I’ve seen, the highest most ponies go is algebra. Magic fills in the gaps. A lot of the higher end tech we’ll be creating requires at least trigonometry. Probably some calculus, too. Statistics will also be useful. Mechanical engineering, civil engineering, chemical engineering, maybe some aerospace later on. Then there’s the magical courses like runeworking and true magic. Those might require an introductory course on the basics of magic. And definitely monster hunting, because fuck monsters.”
“Celestia also has some things she wanted taught,” Flo said. “History that hasn’t been whitewashed, astronomy, chemistry, and alchemy. She would also like to discuss a few more potential options in person later.”
“I’m fine with those,” I said. “And I’ll definitely be discussing this with her in the future. Royals, do you have any thoughts?”
“Can you stop calling us that?” Cadance asked. “It sounds so… impersonal.”
“Goddess of love, do you have any thoughts?” I asked.
“That’s even worse!” she shouted, stomping her hoof on the dirt floor. “Don’t make me cuddle you next!”
“What about you, Shiny?” I asked.
“If you’re going to include monster hunting, you should include other kinds of combat or military courses. I know a few retired officers who might be willing to teach things like tactics, strategy, and military law. Although with you in the picture, most of what ponies know about tactics and strategy is worthless.”
“Between me and Luna, we’ll probably be rewriting most books on strategy before everything is over,” I said. “I do think other kinds of combat courses are valuable though. Self-defense, for example. There will be a large number of species attending, so we can teach people how to defend against a variety of races. We can also have a class that experiments with military technology. Military law probably varies by country, but it might not be a bad idea to offer something like it as an elective.”
“Can you really not think of any good nicknames for me?” Cadance asked, followed by a disappointed sigh.
“Do you have any thoughts on courses, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza?” I sweetly asked.
“I’m gonna cuddle you so hard you choke to death on my fluff,” Cadance replied with a growl, her horn lighting up.
“How about Mia, then?” I asked. “It’s your first name and a little of your middle name.”
“That… is a first, for sure,” Shiny said. “Even the other ponies in high school struggled to give her a nickname. Cadance was the closest they got…”
“...I like it, but it’s hard to approve,” Cadance said. “I’ll allow you to call me that, Nav. But for now, only you. We’ll see how it feels in practice.”
“A special nickname that only we share, huh,” I replied with a small smile.
“Don’t make it sound so grandiose,” Shiny said with a scoff.
“It’s nothing to be jealous about, silly,” I replied. “It’s only something that Mia and I share together, just the two of us.” He narrowed his eyes at me, but I just continued sweetly smiling.
“Shiny, stop being so easy to provoke. Nav, stop provoking him. If you two want to fight, don’t do it over me.”
“So, do you have any thoughts on college courses, Mia?” I asked.
“No. Instead, I’d like you to remember their social lives. What about clubs, events, and things to develop their sense of camaraderie? You’re developing an entire institution from scratch, Nav. You’ll want to make sure to build its culture as well, or it might develop in a way you don’t like.”
“I was planning on letting them do as they liked, if I’m honest,” I said. “You can’t really force culture. If you try, it’ll just feel awkward for everyone involved.”
“Spoken like a true shut-in,” Cadance said, nodding. “It’s true that culture tends to evolve over time, but that doesn’t mean you can just let them figure it out on their own. One look at that statue should tell you what happens when nerds are left to their own devices. If you don’t give them something to focus on, it’s entirely possible they’ll focus on you.”
I don’t want to admit it, but it’s possible she’s right. I really don’t want them to start bothering me. If giving them stuff to do means they won’t have time to form a new religion around me, I’ll just have to give them stuff to do. “Do you have anything in particular in mind?” I asked.
“Unfortunately, not really. There are obviously the standard pony holidays, but is your town just going to be made up of ponies?”
“The town itself isn’t going to have many ponies living in it at all, at least in the beginning,” I said. “The current plan is for the city to mostly be made up of a race of monkeys from the south and a race of lizard-like kobolds from an island in the Pacific. Neither of them have had much contact with ponies as a race. The town will also be made up of a small clan of naga, some changelings sent by Moonbeam, and a group of mercenaries I’ll be hiring as guards.”
“Wait, you’re hiring mercenaries?” Shiny asked. “Why not just ask Celestia for guards?”
“The quality of the standard pony guardsman doesn’t impress me. My people are going to be living next to the Everfree Forest, one of the most dangerous places on the continent. I want some muscle I can actually rely on. Plus, I’m going to be a countess. It’s time I started building up my noble house a little. If I can make them loyal, they’d be a good standing army.”
“...I guess it’s fine, as long as you can afford it,” Shiny said. “But do you really think so little of the army?”
“That training exercise didn’t fill me with confidence. There are things much more savage than me lurking in that forest. How do you think the ponies in the army would fare against them?”
“With the right troops, you’d be fine. Celestia certainly wouldn’t give you the average soldiers, that’s for sure. And things did change for the better after you humiliated us, but I can understand why they still wouldn’t be up to your standard.”
“Besides the mercenaries, you have quite the interesting group,” Cadance said. “Doppel, what kind of holidays and festivals do changelings have?”
“They don’t have any,” Doppel immediately replied.
“Wait, none at all?” I asked.
“None at all, my lady.”
“You know it’s bad when even the shut-in is surprised,” Shiny said, shaking his head. “I’m surprised the changelings have lasted so long.”
“At least it means we don’t have to try to work any changeling holidays in,” I said. “Almost every day in the calendar back in my time was some kind of holiday somewhere.”
“Were years the same length back then?” Doppel asked.
“No, there was some drift over the ages,” I replied. “The pony calendar has the same number of months, but their number of days is different. And after watching the clock on my laptop for a while, I think the number of minutes in a day has changed, too. The clocks never match up, so the length of the minutes might have changed, too. Either that or my CMOS battery is dying, but that seems unlikely.”
“If you’re looking for holidays and events, why not pull from your human culture?” Cadance asked. “If there really was a holiday almost every day of the year, you can pick and choose which ones you’d like.”
“Most pony holidays are just echoes of human holidays. Our Halloween is your Nightmare Night. Our Valentine’s Day is your Hearts and Hooves Day. Our Christmas is your Hearth’s Warming Eve. Trying to get everyone to celebrate the human versions would make me feel like a dirty hipster or too demanding. Really, just the thought of trying to hold any events makes my stomach squirm…”
“How do you expect to compete in a pageant like that?” Shiny asked.
“Drugs, Darya, and support from my loyal servants,” I replied.
“Soothing my lady’s nerves can be troublesome, but it’s always worth it,” Doppel said with a cute grin. “Though I’m not so sure about using drugs to get through something so important, my lady…”
Flo, can you find some weed in the Everfree before you get back tonight?
“Yes, of course,” she replied in my head. “I’ll get enough for you to share with Shiny and Cadance, too.”
Thanks, doll. Oh, and Taya always seems interested, so maybe bring back some for her and Eva, if you can find enough. Just make sure your own safety is your highest priority. I doubt anything will target you, but just in case.
“Understood.”
“Don’t worry about me, Doppel,” I said. “Using drugs to self-medicate probably isn’t a good idea, but I’m good at doing stupid things. That means I should be fine.”
“That is the most Nav thing I’ve ever heard you say,” Shiny said, shaking his head in pure wonder.
“I think I’ll talk to the new inhabitants of my village to see what kind of holidays they celebrate at the moment,” I said. “It’s possible that what they have will echo human holidays, too. If so, we can combine them all.”
“If humans were the originals and magic congregates based on gatherings of people and their emotions, wouldn’t it be ideal to bring back the original human customs to maximize magical gain?” Darya asked.
“Calling them an echo might be a misnomer,” I replied. “I have no idea if extra magic in the air is a good thing, or if doing things the original human way would maximize the gain. One thing you should probably consider is that the true origins of most human holidays are pretty… intense. Human and animal sacrifices, orgies, ridiculous and overblown hedonism, whatever the hell Krampus even was… Everything was dumbed down, simplified, and corporatized by the time I was born. All the magic was stripped out of everything and all we were left with were the unappetizing husks.”
Cadance sighed and hugged me. “Now I know why you’re such a shut-in… You don’t have to hide away from happiness, Nav. You’re welcome to join our magical events, I promise!”
“So humans sacrificed other humans, huh?” Shiny muttered.
“Don’t even get me started on the Aztecs,” I said. “The point is, resurrecting the customs I’m familiar with is pointless if the people moving in already have their own customs. An echo is good enough when what I’m familiar with is just an echo of its own. At least most of the ponies know the official reason their holidays and customs exist, even if a lot of it is just bullshit made up by Celestia. I couldn’t tell you what a bunny has to do with hiding eggs on Easter. I think it goes back to the original customs when it was a holiday to celebrate the coming of spring, but most of that lost its meaning when it was Christianized and became about Jesus dying. The customs were kept to placate the populace, but most of their meaning was forgotten. So I’ll talk to the people who move in, see if they have holidays, and if they do, we’ll pass them over to the university. If they don’t, we’ll bring in the pony holidays so it’ll feel normal to the ponies who eventually move in. I’ll talk to the professors and the headmaster of the university about clubs.”
“That works, I guess,” Cadance said. Her weight was starting to get a little annoying, so a part of me hoped she’d stop clinging to me soon. Another part of me enjoyed her soft squishiness and floral scent and didn’t want it to end.
“So, think we should go join the picnic?” Shiny asked. “I don’t want to make Skyla worry after all that talk about monsters.”
“Not a bad idea,” I said. “Shall we, Mia?”
“Let’s!” Cadance released me and started walking to the tent’s entrance. I sighed in either relief or disappointment and followed.
All things told, the picnic was fun. Skyla was cute, my daughters competed for my attention, and Shiny and I did our best not to make Skyla yell at him again. We failed, but it was worth trying. Somewhat surprisingly, no monsters showed up. It was suspicious after Shiny raised such a blatant flag, but I wasn’t complaining.
Once that was done, Flo and Darya took a few minutes to show us around the main areas of the upcoming town. Town hall was going to be right next to the university. A river that led into the Everfree was going to be one of our sources of water. Parts of the farmland had already been tilled and fertilized. Certain main roads had already been cleared of grass. A few major foundations were already laid. It was starting to come together.
It felt really strange that I had basically nothing to do with it, too.
When that tour was finished, we left Flo and Darya behind and flew on into Ponyville. Cadance carried Shiny with magic, I carried Taya like a princess, and Doppel carried Skyla. Eva was jealous of Taya, but didn’t have an excuse to get carried since she had wings of her own.
Our first target was the residence of the Pink Menace. We landed behind the store, since that was the closest place with enough room for all of us.
“This place is amazing!” Skyla said as soon as we landed. She jumped away from Doppel and ran up to Sugarcube Corner. “It looks and smells just like a gingerbread house! How does it taste?”
“Like wood, so don’t try it,” I replied. “This is a bakery called Sugarcube Corner. The bakery part is why it smells like a gingerbread house. It’s where Pinkie works.”
“Wait, have you actually tried tasting it?” Shiny asked, looking at me dubiously. Taya sighed and kicked at a rock on the dirt road. Shiny lifted an eyebrow.
“One of the local colts tricked her shortly after she first moved to Ponyville,” I replied for her. “She tried taking a bite out of one of the window shutters.” Cadance flinched.
“W-what did you do to the colt?” Shiny asked.
“Nothing, but his parents spanked him and made him apologize,” I said. “Let’s go see if Pinkie is working today. Though the owners might freak out a little if a large group of royalty just shows up. If you want, I can poke my head in and borrow Pinkie for a moment if she’s there.”
“I wanna see the inside, too!” Skyla said.
“I look less royal than Cadance, so I’ll bring Skyla in,” Shiny said. “If Pinkie’s there, we can talk to her inside.”
“You said that Rarity’s doing your outfits for the pageant, right?” Cadance asked. “I would love to see them!”
“I can show you the way to Rarity’s boutique,” Doppel said.
“What about you two?” I asked, looking at my fillies. “You’re welcome to come with me, go with them, or do your own thing.”
“Can we go talk to my Ponyville friends?” Eva asked.
“Of course,” I said, patting her on the head. She beamed up at me, which certainly filled my heart with something. “When we’re done here, we’ll show Skyla some of the more interesting sites in town. Once we’re done with that, we’ll join Cadance at the boutique, unless she gets bored and joins us first. You two can join up with us whenever you want. Or if you want to stay in Ponyville after we’re ready to leave, you can come back on your own later.”
“Got it, mommy!” Eva happily replied, ducking under my arm to hug me. A moment later, she released me, grabbed Taya’s hand, and ran off, dragging her sister along. Some part of me was saddened that Eva had friends in Ponyville and Taya didn’t, but I didn’t let it bother me for long.
“If my clothes are done, can you teleport them back?” I asked, looking to Cadance.
“I should be able to, yes,” she replied with a nod. “Oooh, I’m looking forward to your pained expressions while I dress you up like a dolly!”
“Can I watch?” Shiny asked.
I slapped him, of course. “You perv!”
“You can’t watch ladies change, daddy!” Skyla shouted, rearing up to flail at him with her front hooves.
“...I’ll admit I should have thought deeper about that,” he replied, rubbing his face. “I was hoping to just see your expressions, but… you know what, never mind.”
“You already know you have my permission with Nav, but you need to think about the time and place,” Cadance said, shaking her head in disappointment.
“I said never mind! Shall we go inside and get you something sweet, Skyla?”
“Trying to buy forgiveness and love?” I asked. “Do you think your filly is that easy, Shiny?”
“It’s a bakery, Nav. Did you expect me to go in there with my filly and not get her anything?”
“...Alright, let’s go in.” This time, I led the way. Doppel and a giggling Cadance started trotting off to Rarity’s boutique.
As soon as I got to the door, it burst open and Pinkie glomped me. The only reason I didn’t fall is because Shiny used magic to stabilize me. That meant Pinkie was fully capable of wrapping her entire body around mine and that’s exactly what she did.
“Hello, Pinkie,” I said, trying to sound casual. It probably came out slightly strained, since I could barely support her weight.
“Hiya, Navi!” she replied. “You’re so nice and squishy now!”
“Just like you when you were a human. Can you please let go?”
“Yep!” Her legs released me and she fell back to the ground. “I just knew you’d be coming today!”
“Because you can see into the future?” Skyla asked, popping up next to me.
“...Oh? Nav, what have you been telling this filly?”
“Pinkie, I’d like to introduce you to Princess Skyla,” I said. “You’ve met Shiny before, so you can ignore him.”
“Hey!” an annoying bug shouted.
“Anyway, we recently learned something interesting about Skyla,” I said. “That’s why I told her about you. Can we go inside?”
“Right, we shouldn’t just sit in front of the door,” Pinkie said with a nod. “Come on, Princess! Let me show you my wonderful home!” She grabbed Skyla and pulled her inside before any of us could react. I knew Pinkie wouldn’t hurt a filly, but Shiny wasted no time following them. I really didn’t want to go into Pinkie’s realm, but I had no real choice at that point. With a sigh, I entered hell itself.
At least hell smelled pretty good.
Pinkie was leading a smiling Skyla around, pointing out all the decorations and babbling on. Shiny was at the register talking to Mrs. Cake. She looked at me and I could see the confusion in her eyes, but she seemed to be handling her dealings with royalty well. Since everything seemed to be in hand, I sank into a booth to wait for the chaos to end.
Soon enough, Pinkie pushed Skyla off on Shiny and joined me at the booth. “Before we talk about Skyla, I wanted to thank you, Navi!”
“For what?” I asked.
“The dream with Dashie, silly! I got to do all kinds of fun things to her!”
“You mean with her, right?”
“I know what I said, silly!”
“Well, you’re thanking the wrong person this time. It was actually Twilight who combined your dreams. We were experimenting with some dream powers and that was one we wanted to test.”
“So… Can you set me up with another dream tonight?” she sweetly asked.
“Well—”
“I mean, you did blab all about my secret, after all… It sure would hurt your feelings if any of your secrets got out, Navi. Like that time with Doppel when she was pretending to be Sweetie Belle, for example…”
“You didn’t let me finish,” I said, awkwardly looking away. “I was going to ask if there was anyone you’d prefer…”
“I think I’d like to see Rarity smile next!” she replied, looking at me with an extra-manic grin. Darya, remind me about this tonight, if you would.
“Got it. So, about Skyla. Her eyes perceive an aura around people. According to a source in the know, with some training, Skyla will be able to see things in the aura that will help her determine that person’s possible fate. Essentially, she can see potential futures.”
“And so you brought her to me? Isn’t that something Twilight would be better with?”
“I figured Skyla might be a little nervous to learn she could do something so special. I wanted to introduce her to someone with a similar talent to see into the future. I also thought you might be interested in learning there are others out there like you. Besides, it’s never a bad day when you get to meet a cute filly, right?”
“I knew that it was likely there were others out there, but I’ve never actually met one,” Pinkie said, turning her eyes toward the filly. “Give her parents a warning for me, Nav. Tell them this power comes at a price. At least, it did for me.”
“I will pass on your warning. I really am sorry, Pinkie. I know you can’t help it, but…”
“But what’s annoying is annoying,” she replied, her grin taking a small hit. “I know, Nav. Having lots of friends is great! I can always go bother someone else when my mania starts annoying one a little too much.” I can only imagine how bad it is to recognize your own insanity.
Thankfully, Shiny and Skyla were coming over to our table, so I didn’t have to deal with her alone for much longer. The brief moments of lucidity Pinkie had were always refreshing, if I’m honest. Even if they’re heartbreaking at the same time.
Skyla hopped into the booth next to me, making sure not to leave enough room for her father. “This place is really cool!” Skyla said as her father sighed and sat next to Pinkie. Four slices of pie floated over to the table, all covered in whipped cream. They landed before us all. Skyla wasted no time digging into hers.
“Thanks for the pie,” I said. I hadn’t actually been expecting it, to be honest. It was some kind of chocolate pudding pie and I quickly discovered that it felt amazing inside me.
“You really should be more careful about giving beautiful mares such yummy creampies, though,” Pinkie said with a giggle. “Cadance might get jealous!”
“Unless you get permission, at least,” I added with a grin.
“I don’t think my wife will mind me giving out pie, no matter how beautiful the mare or creamy the pie,” Shiny said.
“She might if you aren’t getting any for her, too,” I said. “But whatever. Pinkie, is there anything you can share about the future that Skyla and Shiny might need to know?”
“It’s not certain and it can usually be changed,” Pinkie replied. “If you think something bad is going to happen to someone, it can generally be prevented. The hard part is figuring out just what’s going to go wrong. Unfortunately, it’s also possible to accidentally prevent good things. Because it’s uncertain, you can’t always know when something is going to happen. Something you see today could happen either tomorrow or in ten years.”
“And it isn’t easy to narrow that timeline down, either,” I added. “Nothing about messing with time is easy, if I’m honest.”
“It doesn’t really seem like it’s worth it, does it?” Skyla asked before stuffing more pie in her face.
“I disagree,” Shiny said. “It sounds really useful, once you get the hang of it. Well, if you can get the hang of it.”
“I think Skyla’s eyes will be easier to use than whatever Pinkie has going on,” I said. “According to the book we got from Athena, being able to actually see things is more accurate and easier to perceive than intuitive feelings and dreams.”
“That’s good, at least,” Pinkie said. “My ability isn’t really all that useful most of the time, if I’m honest. I’ve never tried to rely on it or anything. It might be different for you, though.”
“It’s still not good to rely on something so uncertain,” Shiny said. “Having extra information is valuable, but it’s hard to act on info when the dates are mixed up.”
“I agree,” I said with a nod. “That said, haven’t you helped people dodge falling stuff before by using your powers, Pinkie? That seems a little more accurate and a lot more timely.”
“Those twitches tell me that something is going to happen. It’s up to me to figure out what, where, and exactly when. Having a few seconds of warning before something bad happens isn’t as helpful as you might think.”
“Well, can’t deny that. So, Skyla, would you like a tummy rub to help that pie—”
“Absolutely not,” Shiny replied, rudely cutting me off.
“But I wanna try it!” Skyla said, putting her front hooves on the table so she could stand on the booth. It still didn’t make her taller than her father, but at least she tried.
Shiny turned a very baleful glare toward me. I shrugged. Not sure what he expected from me, since I definitely wanted to rub her soft and fuzzy belly.
“Yeah, they’re the best,” Pinkie said, adding fuel to the fire. “Why wouldn’t you want your filly to try it? That’s silly, Shiny!”
“Skyla, Nav’s words are like venom,” Shiny said. “I told you this over and over every time Eva told you stories. If you let her words get in your head, it’s all over. Why are you listening to her?”
“She’s been nice this whole time, but you keep being mean and saying she’s bad!”
“Not all bad people are mean!” he replied. “Nav’s rarely mean, but that doesn’t mean she’s in any way a good person!”
“She saved Eva! And mommy, apparently!”
“I think you might be better off just giving in, Shiny,” I said. “Isn’t it better that you’re around to watch her first time? Better than it being when it’s just the two of us, right? Or worse, when Mia is around.”
“Sorry, I can’t allow your venom to take hold of me,” he said. “I must stay strong! Skyla, no means no. I’m not allowing you to have a belly rub!”
Skyla fell back into the booth and started sniffling. I sighed and patted her on the head. I managed to sneak in a few ear scritches before Shiny’s magic forced my hand away. Instead, he floated the filly over and hugged her with his ungainly and hard hooves. Her eyes were still locked on my hands. It was only a matter of time before yet another princess belly succumbed to my fingers.
“You know, not all venom is bad,” Pinkie said. “Nav’s words usually help people, these days!”
“I haven’t made anyone cry in despair on purpose in months!” I proudly said, booping Pinkie on the nose. At least, not that I can remember. “You really don’t have to be so wary of me, Shiny. Don’t I look so cute and innocent?”
“You look like a succubus, lewd and evil.”
Skyla kneed her father in the stomach, making him choke out in pain. “Daddy! She’s a sweet and beautiful lady! There’s nothing evil about her, aside from that creepy fake snake!”
“You’re really good at this, Navi,” Pinkie said.
“Well, if I don’t get to rub the filly’s belly, we should probably get out of your hair,” I said. “If you’re here, I figure you’re probably working. I don’t want to upset the Cakes again. Unless Shiny has any more questions about the future?”
“Not at the moment, I don’t think,” he said. “Do you mind if we contact you in the future if we do?”
“I don’t mind at all, Prince Shiny!” she replied, booping him. “Nav or Twilight should be able to find me, unless I find you or them first.”
“Please don’t hide in my shirt again,” I said. “That was not my idea of a good time.”
“Aww, it would be so much more comfy in there now… Oh well.”
I finally slid out of the booth and did my best to stretch as lady-like as possible. It was probably still pretty manly, but all that matters is the attempt. “So, I guess the next stop is town circle, the library, Rainbow Dash’s house if we can find it, and finally Rarity’s pad.”
“You’re not going to visit Fluttershy or Applejack?” Pinkie asked as Shiny and Skyla extricated themselves from the booth.
“I’m showing Skyla the sights around Ponyville. Those two live pretty far out there and their homes aren’t really very touristy.”
“You could take her by Bon-Bon’s candy shop,” Pinkie said. “I’m sure she gets jealous that you come here but never visit them.”
“We could do that, but we ate before we came here and we had pie while talking to you. That’ll be on Shiny.”
“Is Bon-Bon one of your friends?” Shiny asked.
“Her and her wife, yeah,” I said. “I know your wife was at their wedding, but I don’t remember if you made it. Before I met her, I just assumed changelings couldn’t cook.”
“Wait, a changeling that makes candy?” Shiny said. “How’s that work?”
“Right? It’s worth stopping by. We can always just get it to go.”
“Add it to the tour. It’s not like we have any plans in particular.”
That did a little to perk Skyla back up, but she still seemed pretty disappointed about not getting a tummy rub. After we said our goodbyes, she fell into silence and occasionally sent sullen looks at her father. At the moment, he was keeping her on the other side of him so I couldn’t pet her.
Seeing more of Ponyville seemed to cheer her up, though. Several ponies stopped what they were doing to either stare at the young alicorn or to greet me. She ignored the stares and got happier every time anyone spoke to me. Her adoring eyes made me feel pretty nice, to be honest. It also made me want to pet her even more, but I was patient. Shiny would let his guard down eventually.
Eva and Taya joined us when we were heading to the candy shop. Shiny graciously bought stuff for everyone, which definitely made Bonnie’s day. I wasn’t too happy that what he bought for me was candied locusts, but they tasted better than they had any right to. And he got really mad when I gave Skyla one, so I call it a win. She loved it, too, and demanded he get some for her next time.
I’m pretty sure I know who the title of second best princess is going to.
By the time we got to Rarity’s boutique, I was over my dejection from not getting to pet Skyla. Getting to hold hands with my daughters definitely helped. That said, I was very worried that all hell might break loose when we got to Rarity’s place. She would be happy to use all of us as models, so there’s no telling what nonsense she might put us through.
Since there was an open sign on the front, we let ourselves in. I quickly discovered it may have been a mistake, though. The ominous giggling coming from the main room made me want to turn around and walk back out. It had to be really bad for all three of them to be in on it.
Sadly, Skyla darted forward, making enough of a racket to alert them to our presence. The giggles stopped and it sounded like the three of them began rushing around. That was suspicious, so I didn’t resist as my girls dragged me behind Skyla.
When we got to the main room, Rarity was hurriedly putting away what looked like a cheerleader outfit, Cadance was stuffing a maid outfit into a small closet, and Doppel was shoving magazines into a drawer. Thinking or asking about any of that probably would have led to more suffering than necessary, so I decided to leave it be. “Hello again, Rarity,” I said.
“Greetings, my lady,” she replied with a smile. “Welcome to my boutique, Prince Shining Armor and Princess Skyla.”
“There’s no need for honorifics for an element of harmony, you know,” Shiny said.
“I’m greeting you here as a business owner, not an element of harmony,” she replied, keeping on her smooth smile.
“She’s particular about her business,” I said. “Let her do her thing. Speaking of, are my clothes for the pageant ready?”
“Yes, of course,” Rarity said, walking over to one of her side doors. “I’ll need you to try them all on, so come along, Navi. It’s time to play dress-up!”
“I’m watching,” Cadance said, grabbing me with magic and following Rarity. “Shiny, this might take a while. You can walk around Ponyville or wait here. Rarity already gave me permission to let you try on anything that might fit, so feel free!”
Shiny seemed surprised by that, for some reason. “Wait, why would I—”
“I’m watching, too!” Skyla shouted, jumping to follow us.
“Me three!” Eva said as she followed, dragging Taya along behind her.
“Me four, I guess?” Taya muttered, though she did seem a little excited.
“That room is going to be a little too full with any more, so I guess I’ll stay here to help Shiny try on dresses,” Doppel said with a shrug.
His reply was cut off along with my freedom when the door slammed shut behind us and magically locked itself. I hope she helped him pick out a nice one, though. That cheerleader outfit might actually look good on him and he deserved to feel pretty after dealing with me for so long.
“So, I have a proposal,” I said as Rarity started using magic to pick through the numerous racks of clothing she was probably going to shove onto my body. “It would be better for me, as the person wearing these clothes, to see fully how they look when being worn. To that end, I think Eva should turn into me and be our model. That way, I can see myself from every angle.”
“Where’s the fun in that, though?” Rarity asked. The others all nodded, even Taya. I was alone. “If you keep trying to talk your way out of this, I’ll gag you. No need to risk your venom seeping into our ears, after all.”
Darya, I give you permission to take over my body.
“No thank you, I’m good,” she replied.
Darya, please take over my body.
“I would hate to deprive you of such a prized memory, my lady. Think of all the smiles you’ll get from Skyla.”
Flo—
“Have fun, Navi,” Flo replied without even letting me finish.
“Why are you like this, Rarity?” I sighed, my head and wings drooping.
“I learned how to enjoy the suffering of others from watching you, Navi! Now, let’s start with the swim suits!”
Skyla’s adorable giggles were the only thing that kept me going.