Joint had no idea what to do anymore. Why had she kissed that stallion? Why had his seduction worked so swiftly on her? And why- oh Celestia -why, did she have to be so headstrong and independent when she was obviously at the very bottom of the chain here?
For some reason, the stallion had taken an instant liking to her, and she couldn’t help but feel at least fondly for him. She knew she was headstrong, but she wasn’t a downright idiot. She knew what her own feelings were, and to deny them, especially right now, would be the dumbest thing. Well, no. Visiting him would be. Celestia above, she didn’t even remember his name. Rage?
No, it was Hemorrhage. She frowned, thinking about it for the first time. It was a strange name, certainly not a name that anypony would have been named in Equestria. Maybe it was an adopted noble name he’d given himself. But no, he was too much of the humble, silent type to give himself such a strange and convoluted name. Perhaps it was his actual name, that he’d been raised by griffons? No, that was outlandish. She didn’t know of a single pony that had been raised by hippogriffs or griffons, and in fact, most didn’t even know what either species were other than foreign neighbors.
Oh, but he knew, she was sure of it. His dialogue with her was the most noble and grammatically complex of any pony she’d ever met before, and there was no doubt that he was well learned. He was the manager of these lands, anyways, so he had to be. Though, come to think of it, this castle was isolated in the middle of a forest with only a lightly beaten down road leading to it. Perhaps he was just some unnamed noble who had pranced down to this particular spot of land with a small entourage and claimed it. That was how most of the landlords outside of the mountain range came to their lordship, so that was the most likely way he’d come in possession of this land.
A soft, muffled cry from below her chin pulled Joint out of her thoughts, looking down at her young daughter with a soft smile. The little foal had taken their trip quite roughly, the minimal food and long trip causing her to look deathly thin. She knew they both were bedraggled and nigh on the verge of uncivilized dirtiness, mud and bits of grass long pressed into their fur and manes.. However, in spite of their trials traveling down the riverbed, evading capture at every bend, they had made it, mother and daughter, to a safe place. She didn’t know exactly where in Equestria they were, whether it was north or south of the Castle, but as long as it was away from the bastard, it was safe.
Slowly, she moved to sit on the lavish bed that was centered on the right wall of their guest room, the bedding fine, but not extravagant like she expected. There wasn’t any hoof-sewn embroidery or golden lacing, but the sheets and quilts were made of fine fabrics that felt heavenly compared to the muck they had to sleep on before. It was almost unbelievable how comfortable it was, and almost in the same moment she sat down did she begin to doze off. She only snapped awake when she felt her young child begin to slip from her grasp. On the bed to allow her to enjoy the
Setting Amethyst down on the bed to allow her to enjoy the comfortable softness of it instead of her mother’s bony forelegs, Joint gave her a soft peck on the nose. The baby was still fussy, making quiet coughing noises as her eyes scrunched together. She was surely hungry, and having just eaten herself, Joint decided to feed her, despite the lateness of the night. After finishing, she eyed her bed, trying to decide the best way in which she could place both herself and her baby without either causing each other discomfort.
Taking the time to finally look at the bed made her realize how big it was, easily large enough for two full-grown ponies to sleep together in. Amethyst, her appetite now sated, had almost immediately fallen back asleep, the drowsiness from the late hour, as well as the previous nap she’d taken in Hemorrhage’s gentle grasp all serving to allow her to swiftly fall asleep. Joint was grateful for it, lifting the little filly ever so softly off of the foot of the bed and setting her down just underneath the pillows at the head, far enough away from the edge of it that she wouldn’t unconsciously roll off it. She still took one of the pillows and propped it up behind her as a barrier to keep her from the dangerous fall.
Finally having put her baby to bed, Joint sat down beside the bed with an exhausted sigh. She was tired, certainly, but there were too many thoughts running through her head about the past few days, the strange castle, and the Celestia-damned stallion who she’d kissed ten minutes after meeting him. Running both hooves through her hair, she grunted at the clumps in it, knowing that, now that she had the opportunity to bathe, she wouldn’t get any rest until she was clean. Unfortunately, that didn’t look like it would happen tonight, seeing as Amethyst was fast asleep, and waking her up now guaranteed not only a long night, but a very long day as well. He sighed again, this time in defeat, standing and looking around the room.
Ailade had led her to this room excitedly, whether because she was always eccentric or just because guests seemed incredibly rare, she didn’t have any idea. The kindly mare had pointed out different rooms that may have been useful for her, all along the way explaining to her that Hemorrhage was their lord and they were voluntary servants. When they had arrived, she had promised to return if needed, and while Joint had insisted that she wouldn’t need any help, she had doubts that the slightly older looking mare would listen. The mare acted motherly, but realistically, she was probably only five or six years older than her.
Ailade had talked almost extensively of the other four in the castle, including another newborn that was ever so slightly older than her Amethyst. She assumed that they weren’t to be seen anywhere because they were off doing other things, or perhaps because ponies were technically supposed to be sleeping at this hour. It was probably the latter, considering there weren’t any other noises in the halls but the clopping of their hooves on stone.
Suddenly, the door began opening silently, a head peeking around it and smiling brightly at her. It was Ailade, who now stepped completely into the room, glancing at Amethyst on the bed, sleeping. With a precious smile, she nodded at Joint, gesturing for her to join Ailade in the doorway eagerly. Joint looked back over her shoulder at her daughter, not out of worry, but out of habitual protectiveness, before conceding to the gentle request. They both stepped out into the hall where Ailade obviously wanted to talk, the door left ever so slightly cracked open in case they were required to reenter.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to check up with you, but seeing as you’re still awake, I wanted to ask how the room is,” Ailade explained cheerfully.
“Oh, well, I haven’t really taken too much time to admire the room,” Joint admitted. “I’ve been more preoccupied with the bed and putting my baby to sleep. But don’t worry, it’s all lovely, thank you, and you weren’t gone that long.”
Ailade smiled humorously, saying, “Well, I guess since you don’t have a clock in there, you wouldn’t know, but it’s been almost an hour and a half since I left you two in there. Either way, it gave me time to clear up some things with my master, and allowed me to prepare a warm bath for you, should you wish for it.”
“Oh, I very much would,” Joint eagerly stated before hesitantly glancing back to the room, where her daughter was sleeping. With a pitiful smile, she looked back and excused herself, “But I can’t. I don’t want to leave her or wake her up. I’ll just take one when I have the chance.”
“Well, I could stay and watch over her,” the kindly mare offered.
“But we’re both strangers,” Joint pointed out. “I don’t feel comfortable leaving my baby with somepony I don’t know at all, in a strange castle, and I’m sure that your master wouldn’t feel comfortable with some random mare strolling through his home. I’ll have to decline, but thank you for the offer.”
“Oh, but let me assure you that there is nothing to fear within these walls, and nothing that you find will matter to my master,” she assured her. “Besides, he seems to have a natural liking for you, as do I. you’ve also proven you’ve been through quite the ordeal, and knowing where your loyalties lie, there is no danger in letting you walk through the house. As for me, my only desire to be with the child is to hold her perhaps, or comfort her should she wake. I have lived with Hemorrhage my entire life, and there is nowhere else I know. Not that it matters, where could I go out here? Your beautiful daughter will be completely safe under my watch.”
Weighing the mare’s words and her ever-steady friendly smile, along with the gentle way her tail slowly swished side to side, Joint realized the mare had a point. Nothing would happen to her daughter here. There was no inner politics that she needed to be wary of for both her and Amethyst’s sake, only hospitable ponies and warmth. Slowly, she sighed in resigned defeat, pushing the door open for Ailade.
“Which way are the baths,” she asked, glancing at where her baby lay, hidden from sight by the pillow. Her voice was so tired when she spoke, and she felt tight around her throat, for some reason emotional.
“Just to your left when you look into the room,” the turquoise mare instructed softly, already moving toward the bed. Joint heard the mare coo ever so softly once she was within sight of her child, and the action finally confirmed to Joint that she could leave her baby with somepony else now.
With a small smile, she closed the door softly and began walking down the stone hallway. For the first time, she wasn’t worried about who was around her, and it gave her the opportunity to look around the interior of the castle. It was made not out of individual bricks, but large, pony-tall slabs of thick, smooth stone that made the entire building feel less artificial. It probably also helped with the condition of the indoors, as she noticed that it was actually uncommonly warm inside, in spite of the hall only having some candelabras to serve as light and heat. She smiled at them, seeing that they were simple metal frames with regular candles on them, not the foreboding, jagged ones hung up around Sombra’s palace.
The rooms were all well built into the hallway, the wooden doors firm and not at all rotted, leading her to wonder how old the castle was. Everyone in the castle did look relatively young, and in spite of its older feel, she noticed that everything seemed fresh. The stones weren’t chipped or worn, the candelabras were mostly clear of wax stains and rust, and the ground itself with the rug that took up the center didn’t look incredibly shabby. Perhaps it was simply because nopony bothered with this far-out castle or because it was simply a new area, but the castle seemed timeless. There was comfort in that, as watching the crystals slowly dull as her life worsened under Sombra’s control was one of the many horrid factors in her life.
Suddenly she was at the end of the hall, standing in front of another healthy wooden door, this one with steam trailing out from the small crack beneath it. This had to be the bathing room, and opening it up, she was pleasantly surprised to see that it was as simple as the rest of the castle. There was a single large bath in the center with a small arrangement of perfumes, soaps, and shampoos to the left and a neat stack of towels to the right. There were several shelves carved into the walls themselves, brushes and what looked like medicines stored on them.
The water that filled the tub was soapy and still steaming ever so slightly, filling the room with a soft scent and peaceful warmth. Joint had always loved the feeling of the air being warm around her, and this sensation that she hadn’t felt in years suddenly brought the joy and splendor to an end. She hadn’t had time to register it yet because she’d been too busy escaping the clutches of Sombra and then ensuring she and Amethyst were safe, but now that she was no longer in flight or fight mode, she realized a new truth.
She was free.
Her breath hitched and she felt her legs go weak as the realization settled in, the shocking epiphany obvious now that she was here. Falling to the ground, tears of relief began to fill her eyes as she let the revelation wash over her completely, gasping as the tears began to flow. She was away from Sombra, away from the castle and all of the horror and evil that was stored within. She was here now, with a strange but kindly group of ponies in a strange but hospitable castle. Instantly she began praying, thanking the divinities for her fortune and their protection that allowed her to be free of such horrendous conditions.
Joint felt herself hugging her hooves to her chest, finding herself wishing that her daughter was here to hold as well, to share this blessed moment with her. Her tears continued to fall as she felt a weight lift itself from her, her shoulders dropping as she could finally relax. It was the first time she had been alone in a long time, and the emotions of every single moment in the past three horrible years were catching up with her as she let her inner walls slowly.
As she did, though, those happy tears suddenly became sad, a dark coldness filling her chest and spreading through her, making her shudder. The tears that now streaked her face felt cold as a depression settled in, the room still warm but suddenly uncomfortably so. She had lost three years of her life in that castle, and now she was in another one, escaped only to return. She had lost more than those three years though. She had lost herself.
Joint remembered for only a moment her friends in the army, the ones who said that if she tried to kill Sombra on her own, she would surely die. She was alive though, alive after venturing into the very depths of their enemies, after having shot Sombra straight in his dead heart. How many of them were still alive after the massacre these last three years had seen, and more importantly, how many of them weren’t? She was certain they all presumed her dead, or at the very least imprisoned to never be seen again. How would they react knowing that she had escaped that awful place, that she now lived with a new lord?
Grimly, however, she realized something else, another devastating truth about both herself and her friends. The very moment that Sombra had enslaved and violated her, Joint had died, leaving behind only a husk whose main purpose was to somehow survive. She sobbed as she finally confronted the truth, knowing that the moment she had met the kindly stallion and had seen Ailade coo softly at the sight of her child, that husk had been filled. Who was she now?
The tears didn’t stop flowing as she pressed her face into her hooves with shame. She had been used and abused in almost every imaginable way, all the time remaining stoically benumbed by every encounter and every deathly night. Now the walls were gone and the flood of terrible, horrible memories, the pain and suffering of every day refueling her despair and tearing her apart even more. Almost painfully, she ran her hooves through her mane, knowing that every single place she touched had also been tainted by Sombra’s black hooves. She wanted to die, to cease living in this cruel world that had allowed her to be so inhumanely treated, for the shame and pain of her failure to stop contaminating her thoughts. There was no relief though.
There was only Amethyst, her beautiful, cursed daughter who had the misfortune of being born to both a failure and a tyrant. She didn’t deserve either disgrace, but Joint was all she had. She was here now, being cared for tenderly by another mare in an unknown castle on a bed that wasn’t stiff. This place was the best thing to happen to her in her short life, and it could be their life if they decided to stay, as Hemorrhage had requested they do.
But staying with him meant dealing with him and his flirtatious- and no doubt intrigued -dialogue and actions, perhaps even giving in to his non-verbal requests and giving herself up. The thought made her shudder fearfully that it may happen, about what might be necessary to continue surviving. Or perhaps they could escape in the morning, running away once again and finding a new, truly safe place to live until she made it to the palace in Canterlot.
Sniffling, she slowly stood up, walking over to the path, deciding that if she was going to contemplate such dark and cold thoughts, she was going to do so while comfortably warm and clean. She rarely had a bath when she was in the Crystal Palace, only when she was being prepared for Sombra or when she left his bedroom. Bathing had become one of the most disgusting, unspoken symbols of her life in the Empire as a slave. Now she stood, staring at a bath not too dissimilar to the ones she was bathed in. With a shaky breath, she dipped a hoof into the water.
She had spent so long in her own head that the water had stopped steaming, though it was still pleasantly warm and comforting. As she drifted into the thin layer of bubbles that topped the water, she saw a visible cloud of dirt and other soot float off of her. Grimacing at how dirty she actually was, she began to vigorously rub the dirt from her coat, large clumps of dirt and pieces of grass were washed off. Walking completely into the pool, she continued to wash herself willfully for the first time, forcing out the muck of her escape from the Crystal Empire.
It was only when she was intently washing her brown coat that she noticed a distinct red mark on her foreleg, and after a moment of consideration, she remembered the pony she had killed. Celestia, that felt like a century ago, when really it was five days ago, or perhaps it was six now, depending on the time of night. Dedicating her thoughts to the memory of what happened that fateful day. Most likely some of the blood from the knife she had used to kill the assassin had dripped from the blade and onto her fur. She realized only then that it was probably one of the many reasons they took such care in validating her as a friend, not one of Sombra’s.
“You aren’t any more,” the stallion’s gentle voice entered her head, filling it with a fuzzy warmth. Something about those words, the way he said them, and the overall definition of them to not only her but him made something wrench itself inside of Joint, a painfully wonderful feeling. Celestia, if she had fallen in love with him from the very first time they met, she was probably the stupidest mare in Equestria. But the way he’d spoken to her, he wasn’t simply flirting teasingly with her. Somepony who did that didn’t try to hold themselves back from what they were saying, and they certainly didn’t blush like he had when their mouth moved quicker than their brain. Perhaps he was just not good with mares, she theorized pathetically.
She brought up a hoof and whacked herself in the forehead, feeling completely ridiculous about herself and the mess she was. Just ten minutes ago she’d been crying because of the misdeeds done to her and the life she’d lost, yet here she was now, speculating whether or not she had a crush on her host and whether he truly had feelings for her in return as if she was some child still. She wasn’t, but it seemed that the strange intrigue over romance and the consequences of such guessing games remained through adulthood, which she had all too abruptly been thrown into.
Grabbing some soap and a brush from the other side of the pool, she began thoroughly brushing out her mane and coat, removing the last of the dirt and grass and leaves. Once that was done, she focused intently on the soap, shampooing her mane three, four, then five times before she was satisfied with its cleanliness. She moved on to washing the rest of her, making sure she scrubbed the last of the dirt away from her until she felt immaculate. Satisfied with the job, she recognized several perfumes on one of the counters and found herself gazing at one in particular.
The branding of it was one that she had seen in the palace up until recently. Had the Equestrians really conquered so far into the Crystal Empire that they had captured the luxury producers in the southern cities. The concept seemed foreign but especially welcoming, the thought that, perhaps, they were winning the war and finally putting an end to Sombra’s evil reign. Smirking at the bottle, she confidently strolled out of the bath and over to the perfume, intentionally turning it to the stone wall while grabbing a simple clear container.
Opening the top, she sniffed it, a strange smell that was much too strong for a female coming out of it. Perfume for a male? She almost laughed at it, closing the lid and finding an obviously feminine product, and upon opening it, she found a sweet cherry scent emerge. She decided she would use it, grabbing one of the towels on the other side of the pool to dry off with first. Satisfied that she was dry enough, though still a little damp, she spritzed a bit on herself, just enough to mask any other smells coming off her.
Taking a moment, she found herself staring in a mirror she hadn’t noticed, seeing as it was built into the wall by the door. She was surprised by her own reflection for a moment, having not seen herself except for in distorted reflections from the crystal. Joint had entirely expected herself to look bedraggled and scrappy, but after the bath she had taken, she looked almost like an ordinary young mare with a damp coat and mane. She scoffed lightly at it, fixing her hair to the side a little. Just like it used to be. Slowly, she felt acceptance of her situation.
Yes, she’d had it rough these past few years. She had made it though. For that, she realized, she should be proud. No other mare in Equestria had gone through and survived what she had, and no other pony in all the world had glared into the face of the enemy and lived. Mentally, she found herself smirking at Sombra, no, at the entire Crystal Empire for their failure to contain and detain her. A whole country had taken her captive and failed to keep it that way. In no sense was she going to be dragged down by what had happened anymore. It was the past, and she would overcome that as well.
Swelling with pride in herself, she confidently strolled to the door, throwing it open and stepping into the hall with a deep breath, and right into somepony she hadn’t quite overcome yet.
“Oh, uh, hello,” Hemorrhage stammered as he stumbled back from their light collision, obviously caught off guard by her presence. “I’m sorry, I didn’t quite know that you were, um… bathing.”
“Yeah, yeah, it’s fine, no problem,” Joint responded tightly, feeling a blush creeping up her neck and over her face. Shaking her, she repeated, “No problem at all.”
She watched the stallion’s eyes dart all over her still damp body, before they rested undoubtedly on the hoof where the bloodstain had been. So he had seen it and just didn’t mention the strange stain, she concluded, before he suddenly stated, “You know, I was hoping to catch you at breakfast, but I guess right now is better.”
“Um, yeah, about that kiss, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come off as…. “
“Au contraire, I was wondering if there was something else you wanted to discuss,” Hemorrhage quickly intervened, obviously trying to avoid the embarrassing, confusing subject of their kiss. “I was wondering if you would like to have a room a little closer to the other residents of the castle, seeing as yours is on the more secluded side of the castle. I know some ponies have a fear of being alone in such a spacious building.”
“No no, it’s fine,” Joint responded, forcing herself to look him in the eyes so as to not visibly scan him as well. Calming herself down, she thought about her words carefully. “Amethyst is already asleep and waking her up now would do nopony good, so we’ll stay in our room for now.”
“Of course,” he politely agreed, nodding his head slightly. The action forced her eyes to follow his movement, to which she suddenly saw familiar red.
Curiosity got the best of her as she glanced at Hemorrhages bloodied hooves, her brows furrowing as she incorrectly guessed every possibility for why they would be so. She had attempted to be discreet with the casual glance at his hooves, but the stallion obviously noticed her staring and lifted one of them, frowning at it.
“Ah yes, the reason I was over here, I completely forgot,” Hemorrhage muttered, though Joint knew he meant it for himself as he realized he’d spoken it outloud, his eyes darted to her before once again landing on the bloodstains. Extending his hoof, he explained, “One of my friends just hurt themselves a little. They needed some help sewing themselves up and so I gave it. Everypony’s fine now, just hurting slightly. I had to come to this bathhouse because the other is being cleaned of blood. I didn’t quite think I’d run into you though.”
That much was obvious by the way he’d lied, Joint thought to herself narrowing her eyes at him. “How come there’s so much of it yet ‘everypony’s alright’,” she questioned suspiciously.
“It’s less than you’d think,” he responded simply, setting his hoof back down, completely unfazed by her inquiry. “Will you be off to bed now? Or do you have anything you’d like to ask about?”
Joint began to open her mouth to say something, but as soon as her eyes met with his own shining, innocently curious ones, the thought was lost. This stallion wanted to stay around her, genuinely concerned and interested in her, using every excuse possible to stay with her for just a few seconds more. He wasn’t cruel or conniving like Sombra had been, he didn’t even seem to be male with the way he was happily ready to speak with her. Her heart began pounding, the feeling of having somepony who cared about her truly giving her their complete attention disrupting her every thought. She had barely spoken to him twice and already she knew he had some deep, unspeakable care for her. And had that same care, for reasons beyond even Celestia, reasons that took her breath away. Whether it was love or lust, her entire being was enraptured by him.
Screw it.
She practically dove into him, this time not bothering to keep her lips closed as she kissed him deeply. Whether he was expecting it to happen or not, he also met her mouth open. For several eternal seconds they stayed like that, mouths pressed against each other as they hungrily made out. Suddenly she felt a strength and began pushing him back until they were met with a wall. Before she knew it, they were both on their hind legs, pressing themselves against each other, the glorious sound of their affection filling her ears. Finally, after what had to be a year, they came up for air out of the depths of their passionate kissing, eyes firmly connected with each other.
Biting her lip, she slowly looked over his entire handsome face, fear creeping into the back of her mind, making her ask quietly, “Whe… Where is this going?”
She expected any reaction other than him to smile at her, but by now she was beginning to catch on that Hemorrhage was not like she expected, and smile at her he did. The grin was soft, welcoming of the question, not even the slightest bit deterred. However, he seemed to realize something as enlightenment flashed across his face as the smile abruptly fell. “It doesn’t go any further than this, at least for the moment.”
“Why not,” she softly asked, their faces still so close that her lips brushed his as she spoke. “Don’t you want to?”
“I do,” he murmured, staring at her mouth almost desperately. “But I can’t.”
Joint felt a sting of pain for a second, but realized quickly that this wasn’t a rejection, but an invitation. He was letting her decide precisely, and that pain was replaced instantly by overwhelming emotions she had no way of processing. All she was able to do was lean in and kiss him yet again, their lips brushing lightly this time, not rushed or hungry, simply taking their time to enjoy each other's touch.
Pulling back after only a few seconds, she nodded at him without a word, stepping back and taking a deep breath to compose herself as she settled on all fours. Hemorrhage came down on his legs as well, smiling gratefully at her. He was right. They hardly knew each other as it was, and the two of them were smart enough to know that they were merely in lust, not love.
“Thank you,” she muttered appreciatively. She didn’t know why she was thanking him, whether it was for the hospitality or the freedom, or even the feeling of being alive again, she didn’t know. Either way, they shared one last smile as she wished him a good night.
“I should hope it gets no better,” he responded heartedly. “My poor heart wouldn’t be able to take it.”
It wasn’t until Joint turned away and began walking over to her room that she realized that her own heart couldn’t either, the pounding of it overwhelming her.