Her Big Brother, His Big Problem

by Rabuiods

Chapter 9: A Wedding in Ponyville Part 2/Acknowledgements

Laughing Stock nervously stood at the altar, waiting for the ceremony to begin.

Oh man, I really hope she doesn’t get cold hooves. If she runs off with the caterer, I’m going to be super pissed.

The stallion felt a comforting hoof on his shoulder. It belonged to Princess Celestia, the pony who was going to be overseeing the wedding ceremony.

“Don’t worry Laughing Stock, Twilight Sparkle will be here.”

“I apologize Princess, I didn’t realize I said that out loud.”

“You didn’t. Weren’t you aware of my ability to read other ponies thoughts?”

The comedian was stunned to say the least.

“I was unaware of that…have you read my thoughts before?”

“I have Laughing Stock. You should be very ashamed.” The princess moved her mouth next to the stallion ear so no one
else cold hear her.

“Although I’m flattered, leather and chains aren’t my thing.”

Before any half-flanked excuses could be created, the four piece band from Canterlot began playing Ponchelbel’s Canon.

The earthpony’s heart nearly exploded with joy when he saw a beautiful mare escorted a white unicorn in Royal Guard attire.

Fluttershy was not as emotionally involved with this situation as everypony else.

“Here comes the *hic* bride, skinny as a broom. Here is the groom, fair, fat and *hic* wide.”

The other mare’s of honor place their hooves over their faces, embarrassed by their friend’s antics. Vinyl Scratch, on the other hoof, encouraged the yellow pegasus to continue.

When Twilight and Shining Armor arrived in front of the altar, the comedian trotted down the steps to greet them. Princess Celestia asked who was giving the bride away.

“I am.” Shining Armor extended his left hoof, which was met with Laughing Stock’s. The two stallions shook while Twilight left her brother’s side and joined her husband to be.

“Make me proud” The royal guard said, ending the hoof shake and returning to his seat. Before the earthpony could escort his lovely mare up to their spots, she asked if Fluttershy was drunk.

“Oh yeah. She spent most of the afternoon sleeping on our couch.”

The young couple climbed the stairs, taking their places in front of a smiling Princess Celestia.

"Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to witness and celebrate the union of Laughing Stock and Twilight Sparkle in marriage. In the year they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured. Now they have decided to live their lives together as mare and gentlecolt."

The ruler of Equestria asked if anypony had any reasons why these two should not be wed.

“Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Princess Luna stood up, but was quickly restrained by Princess Candance and Shining Armor.

“Before I continue with the rest of the ceremony, I would like to say a few words about these young ponies. I have known Twilight Sparkle since she was…”

Laughing Stock told Twilight she looked absolutely stunning, while the alicorn continued her story.

“Well, I have to look this way since I am about to marry the most handsome stallion in Equestria.”

The two ponies quickly nuzzled each other before the earthpony continued the conversation.

“You would not believe the day I’ve had up to now.”

“Let me guess, all of our friends gave you advice, or complained about one thing or another…”

“Exactly, same thing happened to you?”

“More or less. The advice they gave was sweet for the most part, except Pinkie’s. She told me she was willing to help if you couldn’t provide me with a foal.”

“I know she…wait, what!?”

“…and now the two of them are getting married! How time flies when two youngsters are in love.”

Finishing her story, Princess Celestia asked for the mothers of both ponies so they could light the unity candle. The lavender unicorn’s mother, Twilight Velvet approached the stairs, using her magic to pick up the candle that represented her daughter.

“Will Laughing Stock’s mother please join Twilight’s Sparkle’s mother at the foot of the stairs?”

The comedian informed the princess that her mother couldn’t make it to the wedding.

“Why not?! Where is she?”

“Right now? I would have to guess she’s at Canterlot Memorial Cemetery. Did you forget we had this conversation at the cabin?”

Feeling embarrassed, the ruler of Equestria asked if somepony would like to stand in as Laughing Stock’s mother.


The stallion sighed heavily as Princess Luna trotted to the foot of the stairs, where she lit his candle.

This wedding can’t possibly get any more awkward.

When Princess Celestia finished with the candles, she announced that it was time for the couples to exchange vows. Twilight took her stallions hooves into her own and began to speak from the heart.

“I Twilight Sparkle, take you Laughing Stock to be my gentlecolt, my partner and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I promise to love, honor and obey you as-“

For some reason, Fluttershy found the lavender unicorns vows hysterical.

“What do you mean *hic* obey, Twilight? What are you, a dog? Bad Twilight, bad!”

Twilight attempted to finish the vow, but was interrupted once again.

“Who’s a good unicorn? You’re a good *hic* unicorn, yo-“

Feeling frustrated, the good unicorn used her magic on Fluttershy’s bouquet, and hit her square in the face with it. The pegasus learned her lesson and sat quietly.

“Laughing Stock, it is your turn to say your vows.”

The earthpony gently caressed his mare’s face as he recited his vows.

“I Laughing Stock, take you Twilight Sparkle to be my mare, my partner in life and my one true love. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before. I will honor and obey you, laugh and cry with you, loving you faithfully through good times and bad. I give you my hoof, my heart, and my love, from this day forward for as long as we both shall live."

“We will now exchange the rings. Laughing Stock, I would like you to place Twilight’s ring on her horn and repeat after me.

The comedian gently slid the ring onto the unicorn’s horn, copying the princess word for word.

“Alright Twilight, I need you to do the same. Take Laughing Stock’s ring and place it on his…”

The mighty Celestia was lost for words.

“Excuse me Laughing Stock, where are you going to where your ring?”

“Uh…I haven’t given it much thought.”

Twilight suggested putting the band on a necklace.

“Nah, you know I’m not one for necklaces Twiley.”

Seconds later, the stallion had an idea. He asked Princess Celestia if she could make the band bigger.

“Maybe I can wear it around my hoof?”

“...so instead of a wedding ring, you want a wedding bracelet?”

The pony nodded, so the princess used her magic to expand the jewelery. Twilight slid the bracelet onto her special somepony’s hoof. As the couple gazed deeply into each other’s eyes, Princess Celestia said the words they had been waiting to hear for the past three months.

“By the power vested in me by the land of Equestria, I pronounce you mare and gentlecolt. Laughing Stock, give her a kiss will you?”

Rainbow Dash took flight as soon as she saw the newlyweds kiss. She created the best sonic rainboom she had ever done, in honor of her friend’s new relationship status. Before the couple could walk down the aisle together and leave, Princess Celestia made one last announcement to the ponies watching the festivities.

“Last pony to the open bar gets banished to the moon!”


“Laughing Stock, I think it’s safe to say that the next time we have a huge party, there shouldn’t be an open bar.”

The stallion agreed, as the couple watched the entire town of Ponyville become very intoxicated from their table. After dinner as served, the tables were cleared to the sides of the room, so attendees could dance before dessert was served.

"Alright everypony, listen up!”

The best mare, Vinyl Scratch caught everypony’s attention.

“It’s now time for Laughing Stock and Twilight to have their first dance as a married couple. Get down here you two!”

The ponies made their way to the dance floor, holding each other as the Canterlot quartet began to play. The newlyweds quickly lost themselves in the music, forgetting everything else in the world.

“So Twilight, is this the wedding you’ve always wanted?”

Resting her head on Laughing Stock’s shoulder, the bride buried her face in his neck.

I take that as a yes.

“I’m glad to see you so happy, this is the wedding I’ve always dreamed of as well.”

“You’ve dreamed of your wedding? That’s a little odd, I thought fillies did that.”

“Don’t get me wrong, dreaming about the cake, decorations and all that other stuff is for fillies. For years I’ve waited for the moment when I promised myself to a beautiful mare for the rest of my life.”

When the couple’s first dance ended, everypony in attendance rushed toward them. They all hoped to for an opportunity to dance with Laughing Stock or Twilight. Granny Smith approached the young groom, asking him to join her on the dance floor.

“Of course Granny Smith, it would be my pleasure.”

He kept his moments nice and easy so he wouldn’t harm the elderly mare.

“Wow Granny Smith, you dance great! Are you sure you’re as old as you say you are?”

“Why yes sonny! I may not dance like it, but I’m very old. The reason I dance so well is because I have years of practice!”
“Well, it certainly shows! Did you dance much when you were younger?”

Telling the young whipper snapper a brief story about her youth, Granny Smith mentioned she was the best dancer in town at one point.

“Stallions came far and wide to dance with me, and I always obliged them. Those ponies were always so thankful I took time out of my day to show them a fun time. Of course, all that fun began to build me a reputation.

“Wouldn’t that be a good thing? According to your story, you made a lot of stallions happy.”

“There were a few mares too, sonny.”

Laughing Stock started to put the pieces to Granny’s story together.

“We still are talking about dancing, right?

“Of course, what did you think we were talking about?”

Following the songs conclusion, the comedian bowed to his partner, thanking her for a lovely time.

“Aw shucks youngin’.” You made an old mare very happy, I’m going to be quite popular at my weekly bridge game!”

Granny Smith approached the groom once again a few minutes later, this time with an apology.

“I just realized how silly I sounded. It made dancing sound like another word for…well, a roll in the hay.”

“Oh no, I didn’t think that at all!”

“Don’t you lie to me sonny! I just wanted to apologize for boring you with a story about this old mare.

Laughing Stock gave the mare a hug, telling her the story was very entertaining.

“Well aren’t you the sweetest thing, I’ll have to finish telling it sometime! I didn’t get to the exciting part!”

“Really? What happened during the exciting part?”

“Well, there were times when the farm wasn’t doing so well, so my mother and I had to find ways to come up with some extra money.”

“That sounds like fun! I’m assuming you sold quilts or baked goods or something?”

“Nope, quilts and baked good cost money to make. My mother and I sold our bodies. Thanks again youngin!


Sitting at the head table with his bride, Laughing Stock watched other ponies danced the night away.

“Look who’s here!”

Ruby, the ex girlfriend of the groom, approached the table. She asked him if he had time for one last dance

“It depends who’s asking. Is it a friend or a clingy ex girlfriend?”

“Ouch Stocky, that hurt.” Ruby grabbed her friend’s hoof and took him out to the floor. “So how have things been, I don’t get to see you very much.”

“I’ve been very busy lately. I’m either with Twiley at a book signing, or performing. What have you been up to?”

Ruby proceeded to tell the comedian that she has been making some life changes.

“Really? That’s great! What kind of changes? New attitude? New coat color?”

“Not quite. I’m a…I’m into mares now.”

The earthpony was flabbergasted.

“You’re kidding…”

“No, why?! You don’t hate me now, do you?”

Laughing Stock began to apologize profusely.

“No not at all! In fact, I love filly foolers! It’s just, you are the second mare that I’ve dated that has become one. I’ve been wondering if I turned Vinyl Scratch into one, and now that you are one as well…let’s just say things are adding up.”

Ruby left the floor before the song was finished, which made the comedian very suspicious.

Oh man…I’m two for three at turning straight mares into filly foolers.


Once the dancing stopped, the reception started to wind down. The beautiful bride and handsome groom were saying their goodbyes before leaving on their honeymoon.

“Laughing Stock, I’m going to go to the house and pick up our bags.”

“Alright, I want to talk to Luna real quick. You know, thank her for the “help” today.”

The princess of the night was standing in front of the ice sculpture, concentrating very hard.

“Something wrong Luna?”

“Hello Laughing Stock. We are trying to examine this goose, but he doesn’t like us apparently.”

The comedian asked why a goose would hate her.

“Well, he seems to be giving us the cold shoulder.”

The comedian desperately wanted to tell Luna it wasn’t a real goose, but he figured it would be better if he didn’t.

Eh, she’s a big pony. She should be able to figure it out herself.

“So Luna, I just wanted to say thank you for all your help today. It’s nice to know that you have my back when I 'need' help.”

“It was our pleasure! We owe thou thanks as well.”

“Really? Why are you thanking me?”

Princess Luna started to blush heavily.

“We have met somepony tonight!

The look on Laughing Stock's face was priceless.


“I’m very happy for you Luna! Who is it?”

Luna pointed at a pony near the bar.

“Is it the stallion next to Vinyl Scratch?”

“No, the pony right there!”

“Oh, the bartender talking to Vinyl Scratch, he seems nice.”

The best DJ in Equestria walked over to Luna, wrapping her front hooves around her.

“Hey Stock, I see you have met my new friend Luna.


Feeling flustered, Laughing Stock sat at the bar, hoping to grab a drink to calm himself down

“Bartender, do you have anything to drink that isn’t alcoholic.”

“Sure! We got...water. What’s the matter, afraid to drink?”

The comedian explained that he was a recovering alcoholic.

“Well, I can make you think drink I usually make for filly’s. Basically, it’s grenadine, lemon lime soda with cherries.

“Oh, you mean stallion temples! I love those!

Slowly sipping the cherry flavored beverage, the stallion felt a small tap on his shoulder.

“Shining Armor! What are you doing here?”

“I came to have a drink with my brother in law! Bartender, I’ll have what he’s having.”

The bartender returned moments later with the captains drink.

“Here we are, two stallion temple’s for the filly’s.”

The captain, unlike the comedian sitting next to him, didn’t take too kindly to name calling.

“Excuse me, did you call my brother in law and I fillies because our drinks don’t have alcohol?”

“Yes I did.”

“Where does it say that stallions have to drink alcohol when they get together? Look, he’s a recovering alcoholic, and I don’t feel up to it. There’s nothing wrong with these drinks.”

Laughing at the two stallions, the bartender told them that he used to be a soldier in the Royal Guard.

“We had a name for stallions like you.”

“Really now? I am currently in the guard, I’ve never heard of anything like that.”

Shining Armor introduced himself to the former guard, who turned white instantly. He quickly apologized, and hurried to the other side of the bar. Laughing Stock found the situation hilarious.

“Wow, you showed him a thing or two.”

“I guess I did. Anyway, how does it feel, being a married stallion?

“Well, up until a few minutes ago, it felt marvelous. I was the luckiest pony in the world. Now I feel horrible.”

“Uh oh, what happened?”

The earthpony explained how his ex girlfriend Ruby came out to him and Luna was now seeing Vinyl Scratch.

“So basically, in a few years, you’re sister is going to be a filly fooler. Just my luck too, I finally meet a mare that puts up with me, only to drive her into another mares hooves.”

The response Laughing Stock received was not one he expected to hear. Shining Armor started cackling, pounding his hoof on the bar.

“I’m glad that you find my eventual pain and suffering hilarious.”

“It’s not that. Ruby and Luna aren’t filly foolers, I put them up to it.”

The comedian was very confused, so the captain filled him in on the ruse.

“I ran into Ruby, Vinyl Scratch and Luna today. I told them I wanted to prank you and asked if they wanted in, which they all did.”

“So...Vinyl Scratch is the only one who is into mares?”


The relieved pony rubbed his face with his hooves.

“You have no idea how glad I am to hear this was a prank” He said, extending his hoof to the guard. “You really pulled the wool over my eyes, nicely played.”

“Hey, thank you for taking this with stride.”

Leaving money on the bar, Shining Armor stood up to leave, but not before he told Laughing Stock his parting words.

“I am really glad you married my sister. You have your ups and downs, but you always battle through them and come out on top. No marriage is perfect, I know that both of you will do whatever it takes to make it work. “


“Laughing Stock, I have a problem with you!”

Turning away from the bar, the comedian was face to face with Fluttershy.

“What did I do now?”

“You cut me off! How’s a pegaus supposed to drunk around here if I can’t get any booze?

He reminded the yellow pegasus that he wasn’t the bar tender, but that didn’t seem to matter.

“It’s your wedding! Therefore its-”

Fluttershy stopped talking and placed a hoof over her mouth, her face instantly turned a pale green. Having been in this this situation many times before, Laughing Stock knew exactly what to do.

“Bathrooms are that way.”

Looking into the bottom of his non alcoholic beverage, he started to wonder what was taking Twilight so long with the bags.

“Hey Mr. Groom! You’re not drinking, are you?”

Princess Celestia clumsily climbed onto a vacant bar stool next to the earthpony.

“No princess, I’m drinking a stallion temple. I can see you have been hitting the sauce pretty hard though.”

“Aw come on, lighten up. It’s a wedding!”

Ordering a drink from the surly barkeep, the ruler asked the earthpony how married life was treating him.

“It’s only been two hours, but so far, its amazing!”

“Must be nice...being able to get married.”

“Do i detect a hint of bitterness, Princess Celestia?”

Before answering, the alicorn downed her drink.

“Of course I’m bitter! I’m always marrying ponies, but I have yet to get married myself.”

Unsure of what to do, the stallion nervously pat the princess between her wings.

“There, there. Everything is going to be ok.”

“I just wish I could find a pony to spend just one night with, is that too much to ask?!”

“There are stallions all over the place! You’re the ruler of Equestria, it shouldn’t be that hard to...well, you know.”

“They are too intimidated. Stallions always have to be in charge, is it so hard to let a mare take over once in a while?”

“Not all stallions have to be in control all the time. In fact, I let...” Laughing Stock stopped mid sentence. “Actually, forget I said anything.”

“That’s what I love about you, Laughing Stock. You always put Twilight’s desires before your own, it’s very commendable.”

She asked the comedian if he remembered her request from the cabin.

“Which one? You made several.”

“If things don’t work out between you and Twilight, make sure to look me up.”

The princess excused herself, heading toward the bathrooms. Moments after his talk with Celestia, Twilight arrived with the luggage.

“Alright, you ready to go?”

“Of course! I just want to use the restroom first.”

The comedian entered the bathroom, proceeding with business as usual. While washing his hooves, he heard strange noises coming from one of the occupied stalls. His curiosity got the better of him, he quietly peeked through the crack in the door.

In the confines of the bathroom stall, he witnessed Princess Celestia with her frontlegs wrapped around another pony.

Wow...good for you princess! I wish I could get a better look at the stallion she’s with...all I can see is his tail. Who do I know with a long pink tail...

Laughing Stock suddenly remembered a pony which a long pink tail, very similar to the one under the door. He quietly backed away, wishing to forget everything he saw and heard.

“Hey you! You were in there for...is everything alright sweetheart? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“You know Twilight...I wish I had seen a ghost. Can we please leave...like right now?”


“You never did tell me where we are going on our honeymoon, Twilight.”

Snuggling up to her stallion, she told him they were returning to the cabin where they spent Hearth’s Warming Eve.

“Really? Out of all the places in Equestria, you want to go there? I mean, I will go anywhere as long as you’re there, but we’ve kind been there, done that.”

“Well I thought that way at first, but I figured it would be cute to start our lives there as a married couple, since our single lives ended at that very place.”

“I didn’t know you were so romantic” the comedian said, kissing the base of her horn.

“Well, I also have some unfinished business to attend to…”

Laughing Stock was puzzled, Twilight NEVER left business unfinished. She played coy when he asked what that business might be.

“Let’s just say there were some things we never had an opportunity to try in the hot spring…”


A/N: First of all, big thank you to HoovesLikeJagger! Not only has he been fan of mine since my first story, but his artwork is probably the reason so many of you decided to check this story out. He has a lot of great stories, so look him up if you haven't already.

Thank you to anyone who has thumbs up, commented on or favored this story. It keeps me motivated knowing that people enjoy the weird, twisted scenarios I come it with!

And finally, a very special thank you to wildberk! This story would not be what it is today if it wasn't for him. Not only is he a great editor, but over the course of this story, I can safely say he's become a great friend. Whether he is correcting my horrible grammar, or silently raging over my crappy Portal 2 skills, he makes story preparation fun!