I still find it insane that this has all but been an unusual bundle of coincidences. From one to the next, I still found it hard to believe that Rue and I were in the middle of a theatre-like platform, reporting ourselves to the people below. In front of us, Princess Twilight and Princess Celestia attended to the deluge of questions that came from the crowd. This was an attempt to calm them down from their … How did Rarity put it? Oh right, their “Reporter’s High”.
We hadn’t done anything wrong, according to Twilight herself, as well as Applejack and Fluttershy, but it seemed like the crowd begged to differ. At least some were being considerate to Rue. After all, she’s still been in her wheelchair since the start of this entire mess of an event. At least it helped that we were invited by Twilight, to some extent.
The biggest problem was how short-tempered I’ve seen Rue behave during this interview. It took a lot to make sure she didn’t suddenly explode with rage like she last did. Especially after that rude pony guard got a bloody nose right before this ceremony started.
‘How did it all come to this?!’ I thought, trying to make sense of what happened in the past two days for everything to lead to this.
48 Hours Earlier...
‘Mm! This is delicious! Definitely gonna try and cook that at ours later! Maybe with a few twists!’ Rue stated ecstatically, biting down on a new type of pie, both sweet and savoury, courtesy of AJ.
‘Oh you must!’ Replied Applejack, as she placed a card down on her rug. The Jack of Clubs. ‘It’s a special dish ah’m working on for Sugarcube Corner! Let me know if ah need some changes to make it taste better.’
Let me paint a lovely picture for you: We were sitting on a wooden table and a magically summoned picnic rug just outside Twilight’s castle, in the shade of a thick branch. Rue and I are having a picnic with Fluttershy, AJ, Dash, Twilight and two others. Dash is playing a card game I introduced her to with AJ, whilst I’m sat opposite Twilight and our two new arrivals.
Fluttershy and Rue had earlier bonded over animals whilst out getting things for the little get together and I have no idea how.
One thing Rue hadn’t counted on today, was the arrival of Sunset Shimmer and her friends, Starlight Glimmer and Wallflower Blush. Especially Wallflower. It was something you had to have prior knowledge of to be as surprised as she was. According to our world’s knowledge, Sunset had made the human world version of Equis her own, but it looks like this was one of many major differences for her to get used to.
‘I think it’s something rather interesting, if you ask me.’ Sunset replied, in response to the conversation between the four of us; Sunset, Rue, Twilight and I. ‘I mean, I did spend some time in a human world, where I met some girls who helped me get over the anger issues I had back then, but nothing could’ve prepared me for what you’ve gone through. Was it weird, or simply quick and swift?’
‘I second that,’ I answered. ‘And to answer your question, it was quick, but I don’t remember much. I’ve explained the situation to Twilight and at least Fluttershy so far.’ I added, scratching my head.
The midday sun was just the perfect level of warmth for us to sit outside in. Good thing Twilight knew exactly what days would be good to relax on with friends. The creatures from last night were laying down just outside the shade of the crystal branch, dozing happily. We’d had a discussion earlier about them, which ended up being the first topic of discussion when Sunset made her surprise arrival; naming the new species “BirchenWolves”.
‘Still, it is rather weird.’ Mulled Sunset, fiddling a little absentmindedly with her salad.
‘Yeah, I guess it is.’ Twilight joined in, after closing a small notebook with her magic and placing it on the table. ‘Plus, knowing what you’ve experienced, the closest thing to it is either one of two things: Either Dark Magic or, if I put it in simpler terms I’ve heard you and Rue saying, a “mana overload”. I still find it incredible that neither of you currently can’t use any magic, despite the signs saying you can.’ She added that last bit rather quickly, as her eyes drifted to a curious filled, out of focus look. It wasn’t until I clicked my fingers by her left ear that she snapped back to reality.
It wasn’t long before Rue and I found ourselves thanking Twilight for her hospitality and her support in helping us feel at home here in Ponyville. The conversation went from our “Arrival” to casual chats by the time we’d said our goodbyes and “see you later” hugs.
The walk down to our new home took us through a rather well kept part of Ponyville. Probably due to the fact that there was some new construction work going on with a newly created powerline that reminded me of home. The alternative route for our walk wasn’t very eventful for the most part but we knew, with some surprising hindsight from both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, that there are a few colts who are a little too stuck-up for their liking living down one of the streets every now and then.
It would usually be a calm and cheerful walk, until some stuck-up idiots decided to walk into our path, then looked us up and down, as if attempting to make a scene. Luckily they let us pass, but not without expressing their inner thoughts out loud.
‘Oh my, Feather Hoof, my fellow pony of good stature, what do you think of these weird, hairless monkeys trying to live like us, hmm?’ Said one, an earth pony at first glance, as his golden monocle really shoving the fact that they’re probably trying to openly display their wealthiness.
‘Goodness gracious! How appalling! I do say, Wintor Gust, I think they should just return to whatever jungle they came from. They look like they were trained to do this! Especially in those clothes’ The pegasus replied, his deep, baritone voice sounding forced as he fiddled with something in his pocket.
Now I know some people simply prefer to say their thoughts out loud, but I could feel the veins on my neck thickening at the thought of them calling us monkeys. Sure, we share common ancestors and such, but somehow, this comment really irked me. Especially towards Rarity’s rather incredible fashion sense. I nudged my phone as I attempted to hide a clenched fist in my hoodie pocket.
Speaking of Rarity, one thing I know Rue enjoyed was being able to visit her on her slow working days. Especially when she was getting “guru-style fashion lessons”. Her words, not mine. Whilst I sat down outside and spoke with Sweetie Belle. Sometimes Spike would arrive and sit with us whenever Twilight was around, but I’ve digressed from the current situation that’s afoot.
However, to have Rarity’s hard work getting shamed by these two muttonheads really pinched a nerve in me. Her work is astonishing and looks way better than those awkwardly tight-fitting, overpriced pieces of clothing the two … guys? Colts? Whatever, what the two idiots are currently wearing.
‘Ha, I hear that monkeys will do anything you tell them to. Why don’t you try it out? I bet these two will do anything you tell them to.’ The voice guffawed, snobbily too.
‘I shall, my old friend.’
‘Here goes nothing…’ I thought, tapping Rue’s shoulder gently.
She reached up and held my hand as I leant down and whispered the rough conversation of the two idiots somewhat stalking us from behind. She nodded quietly, then told me to act dumb until she butted in.
‘Hey, you, you Weird Hairless Monkey! What have you?’ I turned to look at him with an incredulous look, not because he was speaking to me, but because of the odd words he used. ‘Could you be a gentlecolt and fetch me a bottle of champagne and a few glasses? My friend and I are going to a rather...’ He paused, as if finding the right word was tougher than thinking itself. ‘... dashing celebration later and it’s required that we bring a drink for the host.’
Without saying anything, I simply nodded. More comically than I would have normally. I wondered when she was going to make her move, as I didn’t know how long I’d have to put off with behaving like this. However, this world just seems to enjoy making my life weird, lucky and safe.
As I started to push Rue forward, the other idiot started to block our path. Standing there, he pulled out a golden pocket-watch and started to hum disappointedly.
‘Oh my, looks like you’re going the wrong way. The items are that way.’ He said, not bothering to point as he pulled out a cloth and wiped down his pocket-watch.
‘Now why don’t you come with me and-- OOFF! WHY YOU LITTLE-- !’
I hadn’t even noticed the guy who’d asked me to get his stuff, when Rue had seemingly snapped around to thwack his chest. Rather harshly might I add, despite being stuck in the wheelchair. As he doubled over, the idiot ahead of us was about to take a step towards us, when some kind of armoured guard flew down from above.
‘Is every’ing all a’ight down ‘ere?’ He asked, his accent thick. Almost like an Irish accent.
‘This hairless ape just assaulted my good fellow! I demand that you lock these two cloth-bound primates up in a pound or whatever goes for primates like these!’ The guard flinched at the idiot, whilst still keeping a remarkably calm and straight face.
The guard didn’t show any signs of recognising us, taking out two pairs of cuffs from his belt and applying one set to Rue’s wrists, the other to mine. My anger rose, but I didn’t want to let them see that they were getting to me. It wasn’t until the guard asked what my smartphone was that I realised two things - I’d somehow turned my video feature from my camera on, then had what felt like an ingenious idea: a quote from a film I remembered.
‘Um, you do realise, you just accidentally hustled yourself, right?’ I blurted, stopping the recording as I turned the phone towards the guard as I found and, against heavy complaints, played the video of the past few minutes.
It started mid sentence, but it was definitely them trying to belittle us. The situation felt like it could be made better with a hidden recording device that wasn’t an accidental recording, but I guess that’s just my anxiety talking. It wasn't at all that convincing to either Rue or I, but the guard immediately changed their mind after a glint of recognition appeared in their eyes.
Let’s just say, I wasn’t entirely expecting these belittling situations to crop up at all. Nonetheless, Rue seemed to take it all in stride. She behaved like she knew exactly what was going to happen. I queried her about it when I caught her smirking with the guard. After the guard gave both the fake gentlecolts a warning not to pester us.
Well, I'll just quote exactly what he said: 'Now please, let these two... unique someponies be, or ay'll be required to bring some more of the Royal Guard next time.'
After the noble stuck-ups dragged their sad behinds away, the guard, bless his heart, started shaking a little in his hands as he offered me a handshake. I took a moment to notice his rank badge, then returned it in both my hands as I briefly displayed a man-crush for his brave efforts, despite being a brand new pony in the Royal Guard and us being respected without the judgement we'd just endured.
'T-Terribly sorry 'bout that, you young ponies! What can-ay do for you's to help out?'
After a little negotiation, he briefly escorted us home as far as he could until he had to go back on patrol. He said his cousin was working as a guard in Canterlot City, wherever that was. The day passed by slowly, but it was spent working with Rue on some practice designs, with me meditating so I don’t have any panic attacks.
It turned out the meditation techniques Twilight uses are indeed much more reliable than those we used back on Earth. Speaking of Earth, we both kinda miss it. Not on a conscious level, but enough to keep us hoping we could someday return home.
TO BE CONTINUED...