Dust blew into Ponyville upon a foul wind. The sky was still purple and pink, its colors whirling together like a choleric dream.
The Mane Six cautiously entered the town, eyes peeled for a storm of boulders, deadly rains of sparkling death, pestilential clouds, or worse.
They picked their way around shattered glass, noting many broken windows. Eventually, they reached the Ponyville clock tower, which had been blasted apart by something--probably a lightning bolt, as evidenced by scorch marks on its facade. There, they found a young pegasus pony stumbling around, blind, but it wasn't Thunderlane.
"Rumble?" Rainbow Dash recognized the colt, but did not notice his white glazed-over blinded eyes. "Where's Thunderlane? We heard you were escorting him!"
"We got separated," Rumble sniffled. "Is that Rainbow Dash?"
"Yeah! Don't recognize me?" Dash scoffed, living up to her reputation for vanity. "You blind or just forgetful? And where's your brother?" Dash sneered. "Not loyal enough to stay at his side?"
Rumble cried louder.
Twilight shot Dash a chastening glare, then trotted over to Rumble and pressed him underneath her wings. "What happened?"
He sniffed. "I was leading my brother to the train station, to get us out of here. But we stumbled and he bit my shoulder and then he was frothing. Before I could stop him, he ran away. I followed, but then my eyes clouded; I couldn't see."
"You poor dear." Rarity reached to pat his side.
"Um," Rainbow Dash frowned. "I didn't know--sorry."
Fluttershy shot Rainbow an annoyed look.
Twilight, meanwhile, was focusing on Rumble. "He bit you; then you were blinded?"
"Yeah," Rumble said.
"Hmm," Twilight considered. "We'll get you to the hospital; then we'll find Thunderlane."
"And fix this disaster!" Pinkie Pie added.
"Yes," Twilight considered, noting out of the corner of her eyes a cutie-mark on the hindquarters of a corpse of what must have been Doctor Hooves, near the base of the devastated clock tower. That rumor at least, had some truth.
Taking care to avoid the sparkling remnants of what Twilight judged to be a variety of ceramics and rocks and sofas and feathers, she and her friends made their way to the still-operating hospital. Nurse Redheart and the doctors within had not stopped caring for ponies despite the surrounding chaos. But those diligent workers had not seen Thunderlane.
The Mane Six escorted Rumble to a bed where he would be examined--eventually. The hospital was bustling; sounds were coming from across the hall and down it. Doctors and nurses were rushing here and there.
Twilight finished questioning Rumble, but she didn't probe it too far--the colt was too traumatized.
"Thunderlane said there were four big ponies--bigger than Big Mac, plowing across the sky. One got hit by bright exploding lights and crashed. I didn't see that, but I saw boulders streaking across the sky like one of those meteor showers Doctor Hooves shows at his observatory. Bang! Boom! Striking detritus straight to the moon--over the moon!" Rumble chuckled despite the gravity of the situation, his spirits raised by thoughts of the good Doctor.
Thinking of the Doctor's corpse, a tear formed in Twilight's eye; she was glad Rumble could not see it.
"Thank you Rumble. That's enough. ... Nurse Redheart, has anypony else here been blinded?" Twilight sniffed back her sadness.
"Nope." Nurse Redheart shook her head then grabbed hold of a cart with medicines on it and wheeled it around.
"Can you talk about what's been happening--"
"I've got too many patients to give you much attention, dear," Nurse Redheart explained. "And some of those patients used to be doctors; but even they're dropping like flies drop around Trixie--forget I said that. Please escort yourselves out." And then she bustled off, cart rolling before her.
Meanwhile, Rumble whispered: "--teacups ... a tempest of hundreds floating. Porcelain and a foul liquid ... but then I was bit and I couldn't see." But his words were so soft that only Fluttershy heard. The whispers sounded like nonsense to her and she put them out of her thoughts, merely comforting Rumble with a light pat and a "There, there."
The Mane Six bid goodbyes to Rumble, promising to find Thunderlane. Then they left the room. Once in the hall, they overheard a familiar pair of voices.
From within the room across from Rumble's there was a flat tone. "You will recover."
"Agreed, Excellent and Caring friend and help-maker; the Great and Powerful Trixie will certainly recover to her Ultimate and Infinite potential!"
"You are already coughing less."
"Of course. Nevertheless, The Great and Powerful Trixie commands more tea!"
"Coming."
"That's Maud!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed, recognizing her sister's voice. And before anyone could stop her, she broke into the 'quarantine'-labeled door that held Maud and The Great and Powerful Trixie.
"Wait--Pinkie!" Twilight called, following Pinkie into the room despite the labeled warning that she had noticed. Her friends, who had failed to see the sign, also entered.
Inside the room, weirdly lit with the purplish-pink swirling glow from outside--they saw Maud Pie. Her mauve-maned head cocked and turned toward them. "Pinkie?" She asked, seeing a pony particularly familiar to her.
"I'm so glad you're safe, Maud." Pinkie hustled over and embraced her sister. The mare straightened and shifted away from Pinkie the warm tea kettle gripped in her hooves.
"Thanks," Maud replied, her words a little muffled, but otherwise understandable.
"But did something terrible happen to you when the sky was raining down a plentiful plague of pestilence?" Pinkie pulled back, staring at Maud's lower jaw. "What happened?"
"That?" Maud placed her hoof at the red swollen portion of her jaw. "Nothing. No relation to pestilence."
"Ah-hem." The Great and Powerful Trixie cleared her throat, then sipped at a teacup. "The Great and Powerful Trixie is also present."
Twilight grimaced. The Great and Powerful Trixie had long been like a particularly Prickly and Obnoxious thorn in her side. And Trixie also, Twilight noted, was (bizarrely) surrounded on the floor by a field of dead mosquitoes. Or were they flies? Anyway, the floor was littered with a variety of pests.
Rarity, the bearer of the Element of Generosity, responded more generously (as was her practice), approaching the boastful mare and providing her a pat on her shoulder. "There, there. No need to feel excluded--oh dear!" Rarity recoiled as she noticed Trixie's face, a pockmarked, greasy and decayed husk, a shadow of its prior striking light blue coloration.
"What happened to you, dear?"
Trixie coughed, not shielding her expectoration. Maud hoofed over to her a napkin. Trixie rolled her eyes, then accepted the napkin and blew her nose into it. "Trixie is experiencing a bit of pestilence. But Trixie has been winning! The Great and Powerful Trixie is always winning!" Trixie placed the napkin beside herself, then she took another sip of her tea.
"Except when she loses," Applejack, element-bearer of Honesty, muttered under her breath, recalling Trixie's lost magical competition with Twilight Sparkle, among other notable failures.
"Could you tell us anything about the ... strange happenings in Ponyville?" Twilight asked.
"Of course," Trixie coughed into her napkin. "You see, The Great and Powerful Trixie was throwing an excellent party to celebrate Starlight Glimmer's graduation, and the Faithful and Fastidious Maud was assisting. Trixie's magical demonstrations were so exquisite that Glimmer had thrown her hooves around Trixie in a thankful embrace, so moved was she; this is the power of true magic." She affixed Twilight Sparkle with a glare. "Trixie doubts you have ever had such a momentous embrace occur."
"Well, actually--" Twilight Sparkle began.
"And this stolid mare beside me also joined in the embrace," Trixie quickly added. "Trixie sincerely doubts that Twilight Sparkle has ever had two ponies, much less an entire audience so moved by passion to embrace her. Trixie, in point of fact has had orgies full of ponies embracing her!" Trixie downed all of the remaining tea and hoofed over the cup to Maud, who dutifully carried it away.
"Uh," Twilight didn't have a comeback for that criticism. Instead, she affixed Maud with a weird look, wondering if she would clarify. Instead, Maud merely blinked.
"Ain't it called a herd of ponies rather than an org-organism--what did you say, Trixie?" Applejack narrowed her eyes.
"It's a synonym, bumpkin." Trixie guffawed, then continued. "Of course, this was before my grandiose firework display. But subsequent to that embrace, we looked up to the sky and what did we see but four haughty horsemares striding across the sky! Four heavenly horsemares that had decamped from the constellations themselves."
"You don't mean--those horsemares." Twilight Sparkle knew her constellations well.
"Of course." Trixie nodded.
"The four horsemares of the apocalypse?" Twilight Sparkle continued. "But those are myth--even older than the windigoes."
"And just as true!" Trixie exclaimed.
"Regrettably," Maud interjected. "Though details of the myths may be imprecise. One of the horses looked like a stallion and the last transcended classification."
"Mares? Stallions? Who cares. Everypony is the same to Trixie--inferior!" Trixie gratuitously added.
Maud fixed Trixie with a tired stare.
"Except Trixie's good friends, who are her equals, of course," Trixie sighed. "As well as Twilight, who Trixie admits has great power."
Maud tapped Trixie's bed.
"And Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Princess Cadance, Prince Shining Armor and a few other ponies. Even certain loyal--no that wasn't it. ... it was brutally honest bumpkin ponies." Trixie glared at Applejack, then grotesquely grinned at Maud before continuing. "Trixie is certain that Trixie must be omitting somepony and for this oversight, Trixie apologizes effusively. Trixie is trying to be more fair-minded." Trixie screwed up a final frightening smile, teeth askew and cheeks distorted, directed at Maud.
Maud noted that with a nod. Trixie coughed, and Maud, with a hoofkerchief cloth, wiped Trixie's face.
"And then what happened?" Twilight asked.
Trixie took a deep breath before speaking: "The first horsemare to emerge was a big, bulging white horse, but Trixie, not intimidated at all by the beast's girth, stood on her hind legs and told that mare just where she could get off. And Trixie did get that mare off--which is something Trixie is very adroit at doing!" Trixie winked. "The mare ran back, frightened by Trixie's Great and Powerful confidence! And fireworks! I ejaculated celebratory fireworks, which sent that mischievous mare straight back to the stars!"
"Oh-kay," Twilight noted.
"But there was a victim," Maud added. "He's not here. Somecreature should find him."
"A victim?" Twilight asked.
"Black pegasus. Was spit on by the horsemare," Maud explained. Then she spoke to Trixie. "And I think you meant 'discharged' when discussing your fireworks."
Trixie waved a dismissive hoof. "Trixie has memorized all appropriate synonyms to titillate and delight audiences from the eminently reputable Sophistic Synonomic Soliloquies, thank you very much."
"To actually be erudite, rather than to merely mimic, one must also understand synonym's definitions before using them with abandon--"
"Pish-posh," Trixie laughed. "But since you are such a Wise and Powerful 'friend'," Trixie made the air quotes, "Trixie, as Trixie has done with other Interesting and Important points you have made, notes your suggestion for improvement and will take it under advisement! The less malapropisms, the more impressive the cheers and less appropriate the jeers."
"Um," Twilight interrupted. "And the other horses?"
"Of course," Trixie continued. "The second mare was fiery, coated red and swelling with anger and passion. Trixie also defeated her, by asking Maud to knock her down."
"It was my pleasure," Maud noted.
"The third, a beast with sallow skin and famine-thin assaulted Starlight Glimmer from behind; embracing her within its nasty haunted hooves--"
"Where is Starlight?" Twilight interrupted.
"Ah-hem," Trixie cleared her throat. "Trixie's Terrific and Terrifying tale is not complete!"
After some silence, Trixie resumed her story: "Starlight was bound, but Trixie used her powerful and pestilential new magic to distract the mare and free Starlight."
"And where is she now?" Twilight asked, concerned about her recently-graduated student.
"Around," Trixie noted, with a slight wave in the air.
"And then, of course," Trixie continued. "The final horsemare was defeated."
"Nopony can defeat Death!" Pinkie Pie objected, recalling from tales the name of the fourth horsemare of the apocalypse.
"Ah, ha!" Trixie noted. "The correct prophecy is 'no one pony can defeat Death'."
"That's not right," Twilight interrupted again. "Scholars disagree but the best interpretation of the Old Ponish is--"
"You weren't there, Twilight," Trixie sighed. "Regardless, we united and defeated Death and saved Ponyville from the horsemares and here we are today!"
"How much of this is true?" Twilight turned to Maud, who, though often succinct, was rather truthful.
Maud took a deep breath and walked beside Trixie. "All of it."
"Whaaaaa?" Pinkie Pie tilted her head. "You're telling me that Tall Tale Trixie who claimed to be the most powerful magician in the land was telling the truth this time?"
"As she saw it," Maud amended.
"... What did you see?" Twilight asked.
"Four horsemares arrived. Damaged Ponyville. Trixie charged. We fought them; her and Glimmer with magic and Boulder and me with blunt force." Boulder was her pet rock. As far as the Mane Six knew, Boulder wasn't sentient or even ambulatory. "We defeated them: together. Many creatures. Not a "single" pony. Then we came to this hospital."
"Could you elaborate?" Twilight frowned.
"Why?" Maud blinked. "That's what's important."
"But why is the sky still weird?" Pinkie Pie asked.
Maud walked to the window, where Pinkie Pie was pointing. "The aurora borealis?" Pinkie asked. "At this latitude? I guess it explains the glow. Good weather for cooking steamed yams." (Pinkie's on another wavelength.)
"Hey Trixie," Maud looked back at her.
"Can you do something about the aurora?"
"Of course Trixie could, Maud, but then we'd be in darkness."
Maud walked over to Trixie and placed a hoof on her forehead. "You should sleep. You're still burning up."
Trixie sighed, "I suppose you may be correct. All of this pestilence has been tiring." She shut her eyes. And the purplish pink glow stopped. Maud removed her hoof from Trixie's forehead, then carefully patted her shoulder. Trixie's breath came more even.
"Um," Applejack started, eyes wide and horrified as they considered Trixie. "Her magic wasn't that good before, guys."
Maud spoke: "It's because we defeated the horsemares."
"That raises darn well more questions than it answers, honey," Applejack said.
Maud blinked. A snore broke the silence: Trixie was already snoozing. With a whisper, Maud said, "Starlight Glimmer can expound. I need to watch Trixie."
"Are you sure, dear, that whatever Trixie has isn't catching?" Rarity asked, putting on a surgical mask she had finally located from within a nearby drawer.
"Of course it is," Maud explained. "That's why we're under quarantine."
"Quarantine?" Rarity recoiled more.
"Did you see the sign?"
Only Twilight had, and she grinned, sheepish.
"Don't worry too much. She is getting better at control," Maud continued. Trixie kept snoring.
"What you you mean, better at control?"
"The first doctor who touched her came down with boils; he's in the male quarantine room down the hall. And those mosquitoes died when Trixie coughed on them." Maud gestured to the tiny corpses littering the floor beside Trixie's bed. "You're still alive. Without any boils."
Rarity fanned herself. "Is it a bit hot in here, or is it just me? Fluttershy, dear, do you see any imperfections in my coat?" She sidled up beside the kindest member of the Mane Six, who took a quick step back. Then Rarity shrieked, "What do you see?"
Maud appeared at her side. "Quiet. Please. Out." She, burning hot and flashing red in an instant, grabbed Rarity and Fluttershy and pushed them out of the room. "Trixie needs to sleep. Starlight Glimmer is probably in the bathroom sorting out her magic."
"Sorting out her what?" Twilight asked, but Maud had already turned back to Trixie, and was placing a cold compress on her forehead. So, Twilight followed her friends out of the room.
In the hall, the situation between Rarity and Fluttershy had escalated. They were pushing each other and screaming. Rainbow Dash had grabbed Fluttershy while Applejack and Pinkie Pie were pulling on Rarity, who spit all over both of them.
"What has gotten into you mares?" Twilight asked, with umbrage.
Rarity spat at Fluttershy. "This pig thinks I'm diseased!"
Twilight did, sadly, note a set of boils forming on the side of Rarity's face that had been facing Trixie.
Fluttershy recoiled. "This monster keeps trying to touch me!"
"This is not in character for either of you!" Twilight scolded, but the two kept sneering and snarling. Twilight maneuvered everyone into an empty office, so their dispute would not disturb the patients. Despite several attempts at outreach, the others were unable to subside their boiling emotions, so Twilight sighed and ordered: "All of you, stay put while I search for Starlight." Then, she left the room and headed to the bathroom.
Inside the bathroom, she heard retching. "Starlight, is that you?"
"In here," a weak voice called from behind a stall.
"Oh, no." Twilight opened the stall and saw her protege, flanks thin and stomach so distended one could see the rib-cage bones outlined. "What happened?"
"Famine," Starlight explained, backing out of the opened stall, her voice parched and weak. "The third horsemare of the apocalypse."
"She attacked you?"
"Yes. But that didn't cause this;" she indicated her thinness. "This is because friendship won." Starlight looked at Twilight with a determined expression.
"Pardon?"
"Here's what happened:"