Magic is everywhere, even when it’s hidden.
For beyond the reach of the beautiful forest of green, beyond the hills that stretched high above to meet the horizon, one would think there was nothing there except for what nature already provided.
But that would be wrong. For even within the ether of the air, one who listened closely enough may be able to hear someone speaking, as if they were just on the other side of a wall that couldn’t be touched.
"Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess....
But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss…
“Oh, gag me with a spoon.” A tall creature groaned. He looked like a sculpture of different animals mashed together. “There are so many tropes within that single page that I’m wondering if I should even eat this! It could be bad for me!”
He ripped the offending page out of the book, then unzipped the portal from another dimension. A strange land was his backdrop as he zipped the portal back closed.
He tossed the crumpled storybook paper up in the air and caught it. A smile slowly grew across his face.
“But then again…” He tossed the paper ball once more, high enough that it reached the height of a tree before dropping back down. Rearing his head back, he opened his maw and caught the paper in his mouth to devour. Mmm. It tasted good, despite its cliché plot devices.
A sardonic smile grew across his face.
“...Since when did I ever care about what was good for me or not? Speaking of which…” He peered up at the sky. Evening was approaching. His grin grew.
“Methinks it’s almost mob time! Oh, I do love a good mob!” And with that, he snapped his fingers, and disappeared.
The group of ponies stepped through the door and into the open air. “Woah, hold on!” the one said, taking a few steps away from the door. “Do you even know what that thing will do to you?”
One of the others gulped. “Yeah…” he said nervously. “It’s said that he turns your insides out…”
“That he puts you in a cocoon to eat later…” a third said with a shiver.
A chuckle came from behind the three of them. “Oh, no,” a voice said. “You’re thinking of changelings.” They all whirled around to see what they had feared—the dreaded draconequus, leaning against thin air and grinning at them.
“Now, draconequui,” he said, floating towards them. “Ooooh, we’re much worse.” He grinned and said in a hiss, “We turn you into the worst version of yourself.”
He flicked his claw against the forehead of the leader, who quickly backed away. “N-No!” he cried.
“Oh yes,” the draconequus continued. “We make you hate everything you love...we make you turn against them, until all that’s left is for you to accept chaos and darkness…”
One of the ponies grabbed a torch, quickly lighting it and waving it in front of the draconequus’s face. “Back! Back!” he shouted. “Beast, back I say!”
The draconequus stared at him blankly for a few moments, raising an eyebrow. Finally, he lifted his fingers...and snapped. The flames of the torch instantly turned into a swarm of fireflies, which all flew away as the pony waved his torch.
The once-brave pony gulped, dropping the torch. The group huddled closer together, the ones who still had their improvised weapons clinging onto them tightly.
“Right,” the draconequus said, stretching and popping his back. He growled and leaned forward, then roared in their faces—a loud sound that made their eardrums vibrate and their manes blow back. They all stared at him with wide eyes, their faces extremely pale.
“Ahem,” he said. “This is the part where you all run.” The group was still frozen in fear, so he rolled his eyes and took a deliberate step towards them. “Boo.”
This was enough to knock them out of their stupor, as they all shrieked and rushed back out the door, quickly disappearing into the woods. The draconequus leaned against the door, watching them and laughing. “And stay out!” he yelled after them.
Only the quiet woods responded. With a snort, he turned back to face his dimension, slamming the door shut behind him.
In a clearing in the same woods, not terribly far from the door to the chaotic dimension, there was a camp set up.
It wasn’t a normal camp of tents, filled with creatures having a good time as they told stories and ate food roasted over fires. No, this was a camp filled with and run by soldiers, made up of prison-like carts and carriages, with cages scattered about.
The soldiers were strange burly creatures, not like ponies in any way, dressed in armor. The exception was the smallest one, a mole-like creature in a suit who was glaring at the group of ponies in front of him.
“You don’t come back with the strange magic creature you promised me, and you think I’m going to let you take another mission to save your hides!?” he shrieked.
“...yes?” the lead pony said hopefully.
“Wrong!” the mole shouted. With a snap of his fingers, two soldiers approached. “Take these fellows away. Put them in the next carriage to meet with the crown.”
“Yes, Sir Verko,” one said with a salute, the other reacting quickly to grab the ponies before they could flee. They were shoved into a carriage, next to other ponies, along with a few things like caged phoenixes and dragon eggs.
“Next!” the mole, Verko, called. A bat-like creature stepped forward with a magical artifact in his hands. After inspecting it, he handed over a few coins, and the bat left (though they seemed disappointed by the meager amount).
Another pony, further back in the line, watched the whole process. Her ears drooped, and even her poofy mane seemed to deflate as worry entered her eyes.
Her gaze turned to the tall, grey, lizard-like creature standing next to her, holding a rope that was tied around her torso. “Please don’t do this?” she said hopefully. “I won’t wake you up with pop songs again! I’ll bake you cupcakes! I’ll even throw away my yovidiophone if you don’t do this!” She smiled brightly and with a squee, though her eyes were desperate.
“Nothing doing,” the lizard grunted, moving forward in line. “You and your ability are more trouble than they’re worth! Even if I only get a few copper pieces, at least you’ll be off our hands at last.”
“Pleeeeease?” she said, her eyes and smile widening. The lizard just snorted, tugging her forward as the line crept forward.
In almost no time at all, they made it to the front of the line. “And what are you here to sell?” Verko asked, leaning forward.
“This pony,” the lizard said, nudging her forward. “She’s been a thorn in my side for months! Her magic is just the start of the problems she’s caused me…”
Verko raised an eyebrow. “That is an earth pony,” he said. “We’re only buying magical creatures here...most sellers at least attempt to disguise whatever earth ponies they catch as unicorns or something.”
“No, you don’t understand!” the lizard-like creature said. “This earth mare...she has magic!” He nudged her forward. “Go on, Pinkie! Show him your Pinkie Sense!”
Pinkie grinned and innocently tilted her head. “Me? An earth pony? With magic?” She beamed and nodded to herself. “Well, I do admit that I have a certain magic with an oven! I can whip up some mean cherrichangas!”
“Gah, not that!” the lizard growled. “The thing where your tail twitches and pretty much tells the future!?”
Pinkie giggled. “I can’t tell the future, silly!” she said. “If I could, I wouldn’t have been caught by you, would I? I would have seen it coming and avoided it!”
“She has a point…” Verko mumbled, leaning his cheek against his fist.
Pinkie grinned. “Though...if I told the future and it made my tail twitch, wouldn’t that be tailing the future? Eh? Eh!?”
The lizard just groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Good lord,” he said. “Please, not more puns…”
Verko sighed and stood up straight. “Right, that’s enough of that,” he said. “We will not be accepting any non-magical ponies, especially not ones who are going to tell puns for the foreseeable future. Next!”
“Wait!” the lizard said. But Verko just snapped his fingers, and both he and Pinkie were shoved out of the line, and the next creature stepped forward, holding a cage with some small creature inside it.
Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief...though that didn’t last long, as the lizard snarled at her, baring his teeth. “Don’t think you’re getting off that easy,” he said. “I’m going to keep trying until I can get rid of you...and until then, I’m going to make sure neither of us is happy.”
She gulped and backed away a bit. Then, she froze, as her tail began shaking wildly. The lizard noticed, his eyes widening. “Oh no,” he said. “What now?”
“Twitchy tail means ‘look out for falling objects’,” she said, glancing around the area, crouching low to the ground. She saw one guard lean against a table and send a jar of Breezies flying through the air...right towards the two of them!
She yelped, and saw that the lizard had already ducked out of sight. She quickly jumped to the right, and the jar landed and shattered right where she had been standing, releasing the Breezies. They chittered in their language, quickly flying out and swarming around her, covering her in some kind of golden dust that made her start floating into the air and out of the rope tied around her.
“You imbeciles!” Verko shouted at the guards as the Breezies vanished into the trees. “Now we have to catch them again! And someone lasso that mare and shake that pollen off of her before it wears off and we lose that magic, too!”
Pinkie’s knees wobbled, making her gasp and quickly paddle to the right. A second later, a lasso flew from behind her, only to catch empty air. “You missed!” Verko yelled. “How could you miss!? She’s only three feet in the air!”
“I told you, she predicts the future!” the lizard yelled.
Pinkie paddled through the air as she kept rising, trying to ‘swim’ away from the glade. “Well, maybe a teensy bit?” she said, dodging another lasso foretold by her wobbling knees. “But it’s not all that magical, I assure you! Nothing like my magic in the kitchen, so I’ll just be going now…”
“I’ll be the judge of that!” Verko snapped. “Forgot the pollen, just catch her!”
Pinkie kept paddling forward. “Nope, nope, nope, not today!” she said, floating just out of their reach and past the border of the glade. “You’ve seen pegasi fly and dragons fly, but today, Pinkie flies!”
She felt her tail twitch again, and she glanced up. “Huh, there’s nothing…” The pollen covering her tingled, the magic slowly flickering out. “Oh…”
The magic dissipated, and she fell harshly to the ground. She lifted her head slightly, grinning innocently as everyone stared her down. “Um...bye!” she shouted, springing to her hooves and galloping into the woods.
“Catch her!” Verko shouted. She heard the sound of footsteps, and tried to run a little faster. But it was hard work, dodging all the trees, and even though she could put plenty of distance between her and her pursuers, she was starting to feel a little out of breath.
“I knew I should have taken gym instead of that second baking class,” she huffed, trying to put in an extra burst of speed. She spared a glance behind her, and saw various creatures chasing after her, including the lizard that had tried to sell her.
While she was busy looking back, she ran into something and fell back on her haunches. “Oof!” the ‘something’ said. She gulped and turned her head, glancing forward...and slowly raising her gaze upwards.
Looming above her was a creature unlike any she had ever seen—one made of the body parts of different creatures. He glared down at her, releasing the magic that was shimmering around his claw and turning to face her. Behind him, a tree had been manipulated into an unnatural twisted shape, and there was some signature painted on its trunk. Her ears flattened a little when she noticed the large fang poking out the side of his mouth, and his gleaming, predatory eyes.
The footsteps from behind her grew louder. She glanced back and forth between her pursuers and the strange creature, and decided that she disliked the group chasing her more. She quickly jumped to her hooves and darted behind the creature’s legs (one goat-like, and one dragon-like).
Verko and his crew stopped in front of the tall creature that was in front of the pink pony. They all stood there a bit frightened by the creature that was before them. Verko gulped loudly but stood up straight.
“I see you’re the draconequus. Well, I’m sorry to inform you that by the law of Lord Tirek I’m authorized to place you both under arrest,” he said, “ And you will be transferred to a resettlement facility.”
“Oh really, you're going to arrest me? Please don’t waste your energy, I’m serious, you are wasting your time… by the looks of it your partners don’t seem to agree with you,” the draconequus said as Verko looked behind him, seeing he was all alone now.
Verko glanced between the empty space behind him and the draconequus in front of him. The draconequus’s mouth stretched into an impossibly large smile—the corners of his mouth literally stretching past his muzzle. His mouth was also filled with sharp, gleaming fangs, and he growled slightly.
That was all the encouragement that Verko needed to turn and flee, yelping a bit as he ran after his companions. The draconequus chuckled, his grin shrinking to a normal size as he stretched and began to stroll away.
Pinkie paused, looking back and forth between the retreating creatures, and the scary yet helpful draconequus. After only a second of hesitation, she bounced after her accidental rescuer.
“That was amazing!” she said cheerfully, bouncing next to his side. He froze, turning his gaze to her and raising an eyebrow. “How did you do that thing with your mouth and fangs? Can ponies learn it? Do you think you could scare off even bigger groups with that trick, or do you think I could do it with my own fangs?” She reached into her mane and pulled out a set of fake plastic fangs, bouncing in a circle around him.
He paused for a second, turning to see where the source of this new annoyance was. “Are you talking to…” When he looked to his side, she had vanished. “Me?”
He stood in place for a few seconds, then shrugged and turned back around. “Rah!” the pink pony said, jumping suddenly in his path, bearing her obviously-fake fangs at him. It was one of the least intimidating things he had seen...though she did earn a few points for surprising him.
Couldn’t let her know that, though. He just gave her a deadpan look. She grinned sheepishly and spat out the fangs. “Of course I was talking to you, silly!” she said, her good mood seeming undampered. “I’m the only one around, and that’s thanks to you. It was uncredible, what you did!”
“‘Uncredible’?” he said, raising an eyebrow and inching away from her. What was withthis pony?
“Unbelievable and incredible!” she said, bouncing even closer. He took a few more steps away, summoning a pole behind his back. Maybe he could push her away…
Before he could, she started bouncing around him and happily babbling. He tried to shove her back with the pole, but he was too slow, and she barely even reacted. “I mean, you’re doing uncredible things right now...is it magic? I can’t imagine what it could be if it isn’t magic…”
He grit his teeth, dropping the pole and quickly walking forward. She kept bouncing around him, following him without missing a single step...and her chattering was really starting to annoy him. Let’s see how you like being on the end of my ‘uncredible’ magic… he thought. He whirled around, preparing his magic to scare her like he had scared the rest of them.
“This forest is no place for ponies!” he hissed right in her face. To emphasize his message, he bore his fangs at her, using his magic to make green flames flare up from the ground behind him.
She stared at him blankly for a few seconds. He stared her right in the eyes, huffing and puffing, hoping that he could unnerve her enough that her fright would take over and cause her to flee.
“Oh, wow!” she said, recovering after a few moments. To his surprise, she even began applauding. “That was super duper scary! Have you ever considered working in a haunted house for Nightmare Night, or even just in a theater?”
He blinked in surprise, taking a few unconscious steps away and a little closer to his destination. “I mean, I once tried to get into theater, but it was hard to find any around the rock farm. And I was never scary enough for any of the haunted houses in the nearby towns, can you believe that?” she babbled, moving along with him.
He continued moving forward, trying to ignore her rambling. But after the second or third time she hung upside-down from a branch he was passing, he turned towards her. “Who are you, and why are you following me?” he snapped. “What are you up to?”
“Why?” she said. “Well, you see…” She bounced into his path, posing and taking a deep breath.
“It all started back on an old rock farm,” she sang. Discord cringed, taking a few steps back. “We needed bits to avoid alarm. So I left to work with those guys...but it seems that wasn’t wise!”
She bobbed her head, and her singing became more upbeat. “Things were downhill, until you—”
“Gah, enough!” he cried, pulling off his horns and shoving them into his ears. “I asked why you were following me, not for your life story! Especially not in the form of a…musical number!”
“Oh...okay!” she said. “I guess it’s because you seem nice.”
He stared at her blankly, his jaw dropping as he placed his horns back where they belonged. “I’m sorry...I still had my ears plugged. Repeat that?”
“You seem nice!”
He continued to stare at her...then sighed, placing a hand against his forehead. “Look...you’re an obnoxious, fluff-headed pony,” he said, pointing to her. He then pointed to himself. “Now, what am I?”
She tilted her head. “Um...are you a really tall chimera?”
“No!” he said. “I’m a draconequus.” She didn’t seem very fazed by this, so he elaborated, “You know...abandon town before it all turns upside down, grab your torches and pitchforks! Dangerous magical beast!”
She still seemed unfazed. “Doesn’t that bother you at all?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Hmm,” she said, raising a hoof to her chin in thought. After a few seconds, she shook her head and said, “Nope, I don’t think so.”
His eyebrows rose enough to almost fall off of his head. “...seriously?” he said. For a moment, he was completely unsure how to feel.
“If you want me to be!” she said. “I prefer being silly, though.”
“How...interesting,” he said slowly.
“My name’s Pinkie Pie!” she said happily, holding her hoof out to him. “What’s yours?”
“Uh...Discord,” he said. He lifted his paw and slowly pushed her hoof back down before turning and heading on his way again.
“Discord?” she said, sounding out his name. She mulled over it for a moment...and then smiled. “I like that name! I think it suits you very well.” She bounced along after him.
He just grunted and continued on his way. After just another minute of walking, he came to the top of a hill, looking over a small, flat clearing. In the middle of the clearing, a lone, colorful door stood, without any walls around it.
“Ooh,” Pinkie said from right beside him. “That’s really odd...what sort of place is this?”
“This,” he said, gesturing to the small clearing. “Is where I live.” He walked past her and towards the door.
“Oh, it’s...nice!” she said with a smile. “It’s a very lovely clearing. I like the...small little wildflowers you’ve let grow here, and...and that boulder is quite nice...and the random door is a nice touch!” She slowly followed behind him, looking around the area.
“Thank you,” he said. “But it’s not entirely random, you should know. Now, if you’ll excuse me...I could really do with a small bit of chaos-causing, followed by dinner and a rest in bed.” He stretched and grabbed the door handle.
“Um...where’s the rest of your home?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head. “Like...your kitchen, and your bed?”
“Past the door,” he said, opening it and showing off the shimmering purple sky inside. “If it were up to me, there wouldn’t even be a door, but apparently pocket dimensions need a tether or something…” He rolled his eyes. “Like someone decided that magic had to have arbitrary rules, just because.”
“Woah…” Pinkie said, her eyes widening as she stepped closer to the door. “It looks so cool in there…very colorful and fun.”
He held out a hand to stop her before she could step in. “Woah, woah, woah,” he said. “Who said you could come in here?”
“...no one,” she said, her mane deflating a little. “But, but...those sellers, they’ll come after me!”
“Probably not anytime soon,” he said, heading through the door. “They got a pretty good scare...that usually keeps them away for a couple of days.”
“Please!” she said, grabbing onto his leg. He flinched, trying to pull away, but her grip was like iron. “I don’t have anywhere else to go except back there, but I don’t wanna go back there! Can I please stay with you, please please please please…”
“Gah, alright!” he said, clutching his ears and considering tearing them off. “Alright, fine, you can stay!” He opened the door a little wider, shaking her off of his foot and holding up his index finger. “But for one night only, got it?”
“Thank you!” she cried, releasing his foot and diving through the door. He had expected her to flounder in the lack of gravity, which he would have found absolutely hilarious—but to his slight disappointment, she seemed to adjust almost instantly, pedaling her hooves and ‘swimming’ towards his house.
“Hey!” he said as she dog-paddled towards the front door. He teleported in front of her, holding out an arm to try and stop her. “You can’t just—”
Undeterred, she landed on the ground in front of him and dashed to the door. “This is going to be great!” she exclaimed, marveling at all of the odds and ends he had as decorations. “We can stay up late, like a sleepover, and swap crazy stories!” She bounced over to and landed on his couch, making herself right at home.
“And in the morning, I’m making omelet cupcakes!” she said. “My favorite’s jalapeno red velvet, but you strike me as more of a habanero lemon zest kind of guy.” She paused, looking around. “Um...where am I sleeping?”
“Outside,” he said, opening the front door and pointing.
“Oh…” she said, her ears drooping a little. “Um...don’t you have any guest rooms? Or a blanket, or I can sleep on the couch?”
His eyelid twitched. “Well...I do have one guest room, but you’d have to share it…” He marched over to one of the doors and threw it open, revealing a bedroom completely covered in spiderwebs, with a spider the size of two ponies resting on the bed. “Meet ‘Midnight-Snacker’! She likes to eat in her sleep.”
Pinkie yelped and rushed towards the front door. “Nevermind, outside sounds good!” she said. Discord sighed and relaxed, closing the guest room door. Pinkie poked her head back in. “But...could I at least have a blanket and pillow?”
“Here!” he said, tossing her a thick plaid quilt and a large marshmallow. “There’s your stuff! Stay outside and go to sleep!”
“Okay, okay,” she said as he closed the front door. He could still hear her through the window he left open. “This is fine...they still can’t get me in here...and this’ll be just like camping!” She grinned at him through the window. “Hey, could I get a tent and—”
“If you keep asking me for stuff, I will mute you, you earsore,” he growled, massaging his temples. Pinkie squeaked and ducked out of sight, and he breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall.
“Just one night, just one night,” he told himself as he rubbed at his temples. “I’ll just deal with her for one night, and then kick her right back out.”
It’s just one pony, he told himself. How hard can it be? He smiled, already feeling a little bit better.