//------------------------------// // The big sneaks // Story: Would You Rather...? // by ThePinkedWonder //------------------------------// It never gets old. The weirdness of Equestria and – at times – Equestrian ponies can, but not this. The blissful feeling of Sunset Shimmer’s light, fuzzy fur pressed against me felt as heavenly as ever. Whether we were sitting on a couch or lying in bed in my room in Twilight Sparkle’s castle, which we were at the moment, it felt wonderful. The smile on that mare’s face...oh yeah, my girlfriend was loving our little cuddle session too. She looked so peaceful and cute cradled in one of my arms. Let’s see if Sunset could be even cuter. I stroked her silky mane, and she buried her head deeper in my chest and nuzzled it, sending warm tingles vibrating down my body. It was almost like the sunlight shining in my room was angelic; why else would it seem to be reaching out to the unicorn tucked in my chest and arm? At any rate, mission successful. Should I kiss her as a reward? Pictures hanging on my wall and around my dresser’s mirror of Twilight, Starlight, Spike, and my friends were turned the other way, so even their pictures wouldn’t see any making out. I could already hear little bro Spike giggling if he could watch. “It never gets old,” Sunset said. “What?” She gazed up at me with those big ‘ol turquoise eyes of hers. “Cuddling with you.” Good to know it wasn’t just me feeling that way. “I was thinking that too, and the same goes for kissing you.” She lowered her eyelids halfway and her smile deepened. Knew that look! “Then maybe I should kiss you some more and see if I can change your mind?” “Fat chance, but give it a shot. You love challenges, right?” Sunset “answered” by pulling herself up on the bed to be at eye-level with me, and our lips locked and danced with each other in a waltz. Her eyes closed, as they usually do when we kiss. Her moist lips were so soft, almost like butter, but with far less fat. Once, even the idea of kissing a mare on her lips used to creep me out. Different species and all that jazz. And it still would be weird if the mare I was kissing wasn’t Sunset! It, more or less, would still felt awkward if some other mare laid a big wet one on my lips. Extra awkward points in the case of Twilight and “Starie” since I view them as my “Equestrian big sisters”. We unlocked our lips from their little waltz, and I said, “Too bad, baby, but you blew it. That attempt would score an ‘F’.” She giggled. They seem to be getting cuter and cuter. “This is one time when it's good to receive an ‘F’. I will never grow tired of kissing you either.” “Well, what would you rather give up if you could only kiss or cuddle me?” “Can I take a third option?” I shook my head. “Don’t try to cheat your way out of this, Sunset Shimmer! You gotta pick one or the other.” “Uh...I pick one or the other.” “What?! I said you couldn’t do that!” “Actually, you said to pick one or the other, and I picked ‘one or the other’.” Sunset’s smile looked so smug. “But...” I tried to cook up a comeback, but a realization of the facts killed any last-second comebacks, and I lost the game. Sometimes hate it when Sunset is right. “That was a cheap cop-out and you know it.” Sunset pecked me on my cheek. I’d take her kisses as a pity prize. “Aw, you are so cute when you pout after being outsmarted. Hee hee.” “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.” I let that gold-coated cheater go and sat up on my bed, which creaked as I did. “But your craftiness gave me an idea. You ever played ‘Would you rather?’” “‘Would you rather?’” She sat up with me. “I never heard of that.” “‘It's a game where you give someone two very difficult or simply insane choices, then they pick which they would rather do.” “Hmm.” Sunset stroked her cheek with a hoof. “So a little like ‘Truth or Dare’. Are there any limits on what we can ask?” “We could slap on restrictions, but it usually has none. Want to give the game a whirl?” She nodded. “Sure, I’ll play, and with no restrictions.” “Good. I’ll start off and pick some easy choices to give a taste of what this game is about.” I pushed myself off my bed and stretched my arms with a deep, long yawn. Must have been lying in bed with Sunset longer than I thought – maybe an hour. “Would you rather jump into icy cold water or take five bee stings?” “That’s a taste of what I’m in for? Uh...would I have to jump in as a pony or in my human form?” “A human, so no fur protection.” I glanced down at my shirt. Rarity can whip up great ones, like the white one I had on, but I don’t think even her most fabulous shirts and pants got anything on coats ponies are born with. At least when it comes to keeping their wearer warm. “Figures.” Sunset closed her eyes and laid her cheek against her upturned hoof. “Hmm...I’ll take five bee stings.” “That so? I’m no stranger to pain with how I was literally burned as a kid, so I would have taken the bees too. Well, let’s see what you got with giving choices.” “Okay, give me a second.” Sunset rolled her eyes upward. I should count how many times ponies do that or close their eyes when they think. “Would you rather spend three months with only Pinkie Pie, 24/7, or be alone in the wild for one month?” That wasn’t even a contest! “Be in the wild solo for a month. I like Pinkie, but there’s no way I could survive three months all alone with random incarnate with my sanity intact!” She tittered. “I would pick that too. Your turn.” I rubbed my hands. “Let’s see...would you rather never talk or never have magic?” “Oh,” Sunset said as she frowned. “Magic is a part of me, especially as a unicorn, but never be able to talk...oh man.” She closed her eyes again. “I’d...rather never talk.” She rubbed her forehooves. “I’d hate not being able to talk to you or my friends. But, without magic, I’d have a far harder time protecting my friends and world from rogue Equestrian magic, or even you when I’m in Equestria. So, bye-bye talking.” My mouth dropped. How do I sometimes forget just how amazing Sunset can be? “You are something else. How are you not an alicorn yet?” “Maybe because I’m over wanting to be one? Besides, if you were a pony, you would deserve to be an alicorn too.” Me? Eric “Buggie” Reed, worthy of alicornhood? That got me to chuckle and roll my eyes, though I appreciated Sunset’s little white lie. “Little ‘ol me up there with you and Twi, two of the bravest, most incredible ponies ever? Yeah, right.” Sunset scowled. “No, I’m serious, and you know I hate you talking like you're inferior to me! Didn’t you risk your life to save Twilight from Queen Chrysalis and even earned a Pink Heart of Courage from it? Then there was the time we were hurt in the Everfree Forest and nearly got eaten by a Cragadile.”  She hopped off my bed and trotted to me. I could feel and taste the soup of compassion and a hint of sadness in her eyes and frown. “Before you thought of throwing a rock in its eyes to scare it off, you were prepared to sacrifice yourself to buy me time to escape. Why wouldn’t any of that not make you alicorn worthy if you really think I am?” There are times when you gotta tell your girlfriend what she wants to hear. Couldn’t take Sunset looking sad. “Okay, I suppose I’m a little alicorn worthy.” “I guess that’s the best I’ll get, so I’ll take it. But anyway, it’s my turn to give choices.” My mare went back to and hopped on my bed. “Now...uh...would you rather go without eating sweets or never playing any games, both board and video games?” “Uh...I’d take the ‘no sweets’ pick. I gotta have my games! It’s bad enough that Equestria has no T.V. or internet and the portal to your world still won’t let me pass through it.” I stared toward a backward-facing picture on my wall that was of Twilight and me. “She’s been at it for around seven or eight months now, so hopefully Twi will eventually get it to let me go. Apparently, a complex multi-spell combination that’s done just right can do the trick, but she can’t crack whatever the correct combination is.” “I hope she figures it out too, and cutting sweets permanently is what I would pick too.” Sunset glanced toward my dresser and a book on insects that was lying on it. “I’m like how Princess Twilight is with books and the two-legged Twilight is about science: I'd fall apart without my games.” “Heh heh. Okay, I’m up again, and warm-up’s over.” I cracked my knuckles. ”Think you’re ready for a real challenge?” “Oh, a challenge?” Sunset’s lips curled into a big ‘ol confident smile. It was her game-face. “I got an ‘F’ on your last one, but I won’t fail this time. Come at me with your worst!” “That’s my girlfriend! Now, would you rather fight a crazed Princess Celestia or go round two with Midnight Sparkle?” Sunset’s eyes and mouth widened. “Can I take what I said back? Pretty please?” “Nope, not even if you add five ‘pretties’ to your ‘please’. Fess up!” “Okay, okay, and I thought your first choices were hard. Uh...” Sunset closed her eyes, and topped it off by becoming motionless. I waited, and waited, and waited. And waited. Almost wanted to check if she was still breathing! Ms. Quiet finally sighed and opened her peepers. “If I had to, I'd rather face Midnight Sparkle. At the very least, I have a ‘W’ over her, even if Spike gave me an assist with his ‘puppy-dog’ eyes.” “I see, and if I had to, I’d...take locking horns with Celestia. I’d be a dead man anyway, but I'd rather try to fight her than something that looks like big sis Twilight.” The mere, but frightening, thought of Twi in her version of Midnight Sparkle – with a long, ragged black and purple mane, piercing red eyes, and malevolent enough to strike down anyone that stood in her way, even me – forced out shudders. “See? Just thinking of it gave me the shakes. Your turn to pick again.” “Since you forced me to pick such a tough choice, you are in for it this time!” Sunset warned with her game face on again. “No more Ms. Nice Shimmer!” I waved a hand toward myself. It was on! “Bring it, Ms. Not-so-nice Shimmer!” “Oh, I’m bringing it! Just let me think...” *knock knock knock* I turned to my doorway, and Twilight and Starlight stood there. My door was open even before they came, so I bet it was the pony with a horn and wings who politely knocked on it. “Sorry for interrupting, but to celebrate the opening of our school being a success, Starlight and I were thinking of gathering you and our friends together, and go out to dinner tonight.” “But we can’t decide if we should go to ‘Hay & Shake’ or somewhere cheaper. Which would you pick?” “That depends: who’s paying?” I asked. “We’re paying for ourselves, but I’m paying for Spike.” Twi looked at Starie, who suddenly smirked back. “And you were right: that was the first thing he asked, so I owe you twenty bits.”  “Hee hee, told you.” “Then maybe the unicorn gambler over there already called what my answer would be: I'd rather go somewhere cheaper.” I looked toward Sunset. My boyfriend sense was tingling. “But, if Sunset would rather eat at ‘Hay & Shake’, I’d choose to go there. I got my paycheck three days ago, and I haven’t treated her to dinner in over a month.” “No, I’d prefer a cheaper place, if I can tag along too that is.” “Of course you can, Sunset!” Twilight answered in an extra-cheerful voice. ”We were even asking for your input too in case you wanted to join us. Spike doesn’t care where we go as long as he likes the food, and after we ask our friends what they think, we’ll make a final decision.” “Great! Uh, before you go, I want to ask Eric something big. Both of you should be here as I do.” “Really?” Twilight asked. “Well, okay. We can stay for a minute.” My heart fell to my stomach like a brick. I thought Sunset picked her choices for our game, but something wasn’t right. Why did she want both Twilight and Starlight to watch, unless...no. She couldn’t be! Was Sunset Shimmer going to pop the question?! We have been dating for several months now and love each other, but I hadn’t considered marriage, yet. With how Sunset spends the majority of her time in her world, how would our marriage even work? Plus, I’m only nineteen, so was I even ready to be made an honest man of?! “Now, are you ready?” “I-I am. Ask away.” “Good.” Sunset pointed a hoof toward Twi and Starie. “Would you rather tell Twilight that she’s cuter than Starlight, or tell Starlight that she’s cuter than Twilight?” Oh, that was why she wanted them to watch. That big sneak. “Yeah, which of your sisters is cuter?” Starie asked, grinning like a cheshire cat, or cheshire pony. She just had to enter “big sister” mode to milk it. “Oh, come on, Starlight. You said it yourself: we’re Buggie’s sisters, so we shouldn’t ask him questions like that. But since Sunset asked...” Twi formed a cheshire pony-type grin of her own. Wonderful; she also entered “big sister” mode to make it a tag team. “Well?” Make that a three-on-one, except Sunset was in “mischievous girlfriend mode”. “Uh...oh, I think it’s time to pick up a cake from Sugarcube Corner, so I better–” My body stiffened, almost like I was wrapped up like a mummy. I floated back to my bed and beside Sunset. “You’re not going anywhere until you give me your answer!” You know, unicorns should be banned from using their magical telekinesis on others, unless it’s in self-defense or to save somepony from danger. But bans aside, now what? I couldn’t admit that I thought Twilight had an edge over Starlight in cuteness! “Come on, boyfriend, this game was your idea. Pick one of the two choices.” Yes, she slipped! That was my way out of this! “I will pick one of the two choices.” “What?” Sunset’s grin practically dropped off her face. “What?!” My sisters shouted, their grin falling as well. “I said, ‘I will pick one of the two choices’.” “But you can’t do that!” “But I can. You ordered me to pick one of the two choices, so I picked ‘one of the two choices’, remember?” Sunset’s pupils shrank. She smacked her forehooves, just like you would hands when you’re owned. “Darn it! How could I have let myself make that mistake?!” “Not so funny now, is it?” I leaned to Sunset and kissed her on her cheek. Bet she was kicking herself for pulling off that cop-out she did earlier. “And you look so cute when you pout after getting outsmarted. Heh heh.”