“I have become a religious icon amongst my people.”
Shining and Idol were laying in their respective beds in the Canterlot guard barracks. A clear split down the middle of the room divided even the closed wooden door. Idol’s side was decorated neatly and sparsely with a few slightly glowing red crystals pulsing near his bed. The rest of the room, while not messy, held far more character than Idol’s half.
Shining looked away from the book held in his magic and towards Idol. He frowned heavily. “I’m not sure what you are talking about, but I swear I will throw you in a cell.” He then returned his attention to the book.
For his part, Idol stared up at undisguised legs. He was on his back, you see. His life flashed before his eyes. He would live or die on whatever his next action was. Finally, he reached over and poked Shining until the pony glanced over again. “I am a holey bug,” he stated proudly and held up a leg.
This time, Shining did not remove his gaze from his friend. Instead, his eyes bored into Idol’s soul, glaring him into submission.
Shining and Topaz stood in front of two occupied cells below Canterlot Castle. Dim torchlight flickered in and out, giving the whole area a dungeon-like look. It helped that this was, in fact, a dungeon. The first cell on the left held a large changeling looking far too proud of himself. He — Idol — had his face pressed up against the bars with his snout poking through. It was also rather adorable. Proudly adorable.
To his right was a cell that was, at first glance, empty. However, upon closer examination, Topaz discovered a small dejected changeling in the corner. He stared blankly at the ground.
Shining continued explaining the situation to his guest, “...and Thorax, here, was convicted as an accomplice to Idol’s crimes.” He held up a tiny notebook in his magic. “He was found smuggling this joke book in and out of the castle.” He shook his head.
Meanwhile, Topaz was clearly trying her best to stifle a giggle. “You know,” she began, failing to stop one from escaping, “at least he didn’t say religious idol.”
Shining whipped his head over to stare at Topaz with a sickening crack. His eyes bored into her soul, glaring her into submission.
Now before three occupied cells, Shining sat on the ground. His hooves rubbed the sides of his head in an attempt to alleviate a growing headache. In addition to Idol and Thorax, both in the same positions as before, Topaz now lounged on her back in the bed of the rightmost cell. She had her hindlegs crossed, with forelegs held behind her head. Somehow she had acquired pretty rad-looking sunglasses and was using them to their full effect.
Thorax spoke first, breaking the long silence, “I— I can’t even be mad about this. It’s hilarious. Help.”
Shining glared at Thorax first, then Idol. He didn’t dare look at Topaz — she was too cool. “Happy now?” he asked.
Idol waited a moment to respond. Staring directly at Shining, he said, “In religions, it is called penitent.”
Shining immediately screamed and ran out of the room. A loud thud echoed through the dungeon a second later. Topaz lowered her sunglasses slightly at the commotion.
“Is it just me, or is it even more fun to torment him?” Idol asked.
Idol and Thorax sat together on a rather comfortable red velvet couch. They were in Thorax’s room at the changeling hive. It was weirdly nice looking and even had a fireplace which was extremely unusual for a room at the hive. No one knew how or why it was like that. Or whence the furniture and decorations came. Thorax wouldn’t say a word and Idol had been sworn to secrecy.
In any case, Thorax sluggishly pulled his gaze away from the entrancing flames. Sparkling embers danced across his vision until he managed to look at Idol. “Can I let you in on a secret?” he asked quietly.
Idol briefly glanced away from the fire as well. “I am listening.”
Thorax looked left and right in the room, conspiratorially, despite the fact that not a soul was within a mile of the hive that day — it was a holiday. He also bloody well knew this. He whispered, “You know how Shining thinks it’s ridiculous that I called it a small pony book yesterday?”
Idol nodded. “I do and he does.” He paused. “What of it?”
Thorax merely smirked and leaned back smugly. “Do you really think I don’t know what a journal is?”
Idol matched the other changeling’s wide smirk. “This is going to be fun.”
Again, both changelings were sitting in front of an entrancing fire. This time they were in a guestroom at the Crystal Palace. Both stared wide-eyed into the flames. Thorax held an unread magazine with the title and cover image obscured by his hoof. Idol had a rather long novel entitled Greece: The Science of Baking open on his lap. Not a soul was within a mile of the Crystal Empire that day — it was a holiday.
Idol took an exaggerated breath. “I once laid an illusion of the Queen over Princess Cadance during one of her dates with Shining. She never found out.”
“Well, I once gave Flurry Heart fangs and dabbed chocolate on the back of his neck,” Thorax quickly retorted.
Idol shook his head. “Yes, well, I painted Cersus white and told her to run up to him yelling, ‘Daddy!’”
Both changelings broke down into laughter. That day, a true friendship was born.
Shining briskly walked down an empty hallway in the Crystal Palace. It wasn’t a holiday, it was just really late.
Five years ago, the food uprising had been summarily squashed with the perpetrators drawn and cubed. Eight years ago, the eighteen homeless dwarves had been housed, although said houses burned down a month later. Ten years ago, the slippery one slipped away because she kept slipping past the guards. Eleven years ago, Princess Cadance became pregnant. Eleven years and one month ago, Flurry Heart was born.
Cersus stepped out from behind a pillar several meters ahead of Shining. She had grown quite a bit since Idol took her in some decades ago and was now a tall and lithe changeling mare. She wore a poorly-crafted paper crown and disproportionately large cardboard wings. As it was, Shining barely slowed as he passed her by. She fell into step behind him.
“Hey there, beautiful,” she said a little bit too loud.
Shining halted midstep causing Cercus to almost fall over as she tried to stop. He turned to her. “I’m sorry, but have we met?”
Cersus took a slow step towards him, grinning. Fangs poked out from her lips and her eyes were barely half-lidded. They were practically quarter-lidded. She looked like she was trying to not fall asleep. Still, Shining attempted to back away from her, quickly bumping into a wall. In a horrifically unseductive voice, she asked, “Do you want to? I mean, I certainly want to get to know you.”
She leaned forward until her mouth pressed against Shining’s ear. One of her fangs brushed the skin, causing his ear to fold back.
“Uh…” Shining tried.
Breathily, in the sense that she sounded vaguely asthmatic, Cersus whispered, “Outside and in.” She trailed a hoof up his chest, eventually reaching his chin.
Finally, he broke from his catatonic state and pushed her hoof away. “I need an adult,” he quietly managed to get out. He continued to search for an escape, but he was figuratively and literally stuck between a crystal and a hard place.
Nymph’s grin widened. “You are an adult!” she responded.
Again, Shining attempted to escape, managing to free himself from the hot and sweaty prison. He pointed an accusatory hoof at Cersus, backing far away. “You’re making it worse!”
He took off, bolting towards the end of the hall. Cersus made no move to follow. Rounding the corner, Shining found Thorax and Idol figuratively rolling on the floor, chittering. They had clearly heard the entire thing. Those rats. Thorax was draped over Idol, practically about to fall over. Think Fleur de Lis and Fancy Pants, but a better ship.
Idol stood upright suddenly, throwing Thorax to the ground. “Oh, no,” he murmured, “She’s actually attracted to him.” They both silently looked at each other before chittering even louder than before.
Shining collapsed to the floor. “Why are we friends?” he questioned.
Princess Cadance strolled around the corner, humming to herself. She stopped and went silent as she took in the scene before her.
Thorax, having not noticed the new arrival, only chittered harder and pounded a hoof on the floor. “Be— be— because you’re a masochist!” he stuttered out.
Meanwhile, Shining covered his head with his hooves. “I must know at least one other pony that would literally break their back for me.”
“I mean, that’s true, Thorax,” Cadance interjected, “but you promised to not watch us do those things.”
“I must know at least one other pony who would foalsit Flurry. Who would stop anypony from waking her — with fangs,” Shining continued.
Thorax blushed brightly and mumbled something about Libuella. Idol turned towards him in surprise and took a step forward. “Wait. Bachelor party Libby?” he asked, then looked at Shining excitedly. “Shining! You remember bachelor party Libby!”
“I do not,” responded Shining flatly.
Thorax blushed even harder. “Y— yeah,” he stuttered, “that was her, um, old thing.” Cadance drifted closer and grinned widely. Thorax tried to hide behind Idol. “She’s grinning at me. I hate it when she grins at me like that. Idol, make her stop!”
Idol ignored Thorax as he was used as a living shield. He shook his head. “There is no help for it,” he began, “As Shining says, ‘with Cadance, you have to ride out the storm.’”
Shining waved his hooves wildly from the floor. “Context! Context, Idol!”
“Which time that you and Cady cajoled me into your room would you like me to reference?”
Shining blinked owlishly. “Those were for game nights!” he eventually objected, “And you promised to not watch!”
Grinning, Cadance slinked towards Shining, like a thing that slinks towards ponies. “No,” she corrected, “the games were foreplay. I was in it for the rewards—” She noticed Thorax attempting to sneak away and snapped toward him. “Thorax! Don’t you sneak off!”
Thorax took the opportunity to make a run for it. His life very much depended on it. “Run, run, run, run, run!” he shouted repeatedly, Cadance following close behind.
Both remaining creatures watched the two forms retreat from view for several long moments. Eventually, Idol broke the silence as he turned back to Shining. “I did not watch you do those things, I heard you do them.”
Shining blushed deeply.
Later, Idol dragged Shining into his bedroom by the ear with just one hoof… somehow. Magic, biznatch. He kicked the doors shut behind him.
“Ow, ow!” Shining whined as he was dragged towards the center of the room. “Idol, I really don’t — ow — think this is necessary!”
Idol let go and turned to glare at the cowed pony. “I am told that it is customary to threaten physical violence if one does emotional harm to a young mare with a crush.”
Shining jumped up and backed away. “Idol!” he shouted, “She is literally ten years younger than me! And I’m engaged!”
Idol shook his head. “That has yet to stop your machinations to lure me and Topaz into your bedroom.” He paused. “Nor has it stopped Cady’s.”