Morning
Ah, what a lovely day, don’t you think? Of course it is. It goes without saying, but I said it anyhow because that’s the kind of being I am. It is Tuesday after all. No pony hates Tuesday! Monday of course gets all the garbage dumped on it because a certain somepony said that THAT should be the start of the week. So, naturally, everypony hates it! And here’s the funniest part! Monday was named after the MOON! MOONDAY! *Hahahahahahah!* Poor Luna, even the day named in her honor gets the manure thrown upon it. Moonbutt just can’t catch a break. *Snaps his left claw and a margarita appears with a pink umbrella in it before being quietly left on the night stand near Luna’s bed*
What is so great about Tuesday you ask? Nothing really. Other than if *I* were in charge I would rename it “Not Monday” because it’s more catchy. In fact, I would probably rename all the days… mmmmm, maybe not Friday, I like how Friday roooooolls off the tongue. Say it with me now, Friiiiiiiidaaaaaaay. Yes, one does not argue with perfection. Just like meeee.
*Ahem* Yes, anyhow. Today is special because you and you and you and… well fine, you too are cordially invited to the first Discord Day in a generation! To think, there is now an entire generation of ponies and other little creatures running about Equestria who have only read about little old me. Maybe seen a painting or photo. OH! And of course my own personal statue in the Canterlot Fountains of Heroes! That’s right HERO. And don’t you forget it!
So, as per the rules set out by our beloved Princess Sunbutt *whispers* 'also sometimes called Celestia to those NOT in the know, may she rest in peace.' Let the one day event of the year… BEGIN!
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Princess Twilight Sparkle had been raising the sun over the skies of Equestria for more than one hundred years now. She had not needed her alarm spell to remind her when it was time to get up to start the day in decades having fallen into a groove or rut depending on one’s perspective. Painfully routine. Mechanical. Expectant. That was, of course, until her life took an unexpected, if albeit, desirable turn.
The alarm spell gently shook Twilight’s senses telling her she needed to get up to raise the sun soon. If she was more than a few minutes late her personal assistant, Isabella Windsong, would be along to bang on her chamber door. How the griffon could be so punctual without magical assistance was a testament to her dedication.
The simple alarm spell also served as a reminder to tell a certain pony it was time to lower the moon as well since that was no longer Twilight's dual responsibility. Twilight opened her eyes and began to shift about wiggling her way out from under the covers of the bed when two goldenrod forelegs reached out and drew her back to the plush mattress and silky sheets. Twilight smiled and closed her eyes as she felt a body and muzzle snuggle into her back between her wings. She let out a soft moan of bliss from the desirable, intimate touch.
“Sunset,” Twilight whispered sweetly, “it’s time.”
“Mmmmm, no. You smell too good and feel too warm to get out of bed,” came the muffled response between her wings, earning more nuzzles against one of the purple alicorn’s most sensitive spots. Twilight absolutely loved the feeling of another pony’s body pressed up against hers and questioned how she had not gone mad sleeping alone for so many years.
This had been their routine for the last few months since Sunset Shimmer’s coronation. While the celebration had gone off without a hitch, all smiles and congratulations, the party eventually ended and life had to return to the day to day grind. It had been difficult for them both to adjust to the soul crushing loss of Celestia during the battle against the Athanatoi, god-like alicorns created by Mother Creation herself, Aine, long ago. At first, they had both thrown themselves into working out the kinks of the renewed diarchy structure of Canterlot politics. That had served as a good distraction while Luna continued to help coach Sunset on all she needed to know on how to conduct the night court efficiently. Sunset had relearned quickly, naturally, who the major players were and how to play the game to get things done. Slowly, the night court had gained popularity and the backlog of duties was reduced to a respectable workload. The aunt/niece pair had also set time aside a few nights a week to continue working on Sunset’s dream walking ability. Luna greatly appreciated the help and the company even though she had not said so to Twilight. All of them adjusting to a life without Celestia in their own ways.
Once the “new” had worn off and the council and major players had fallen into a workable routine, Sunset and Twilight had found themselves in need of companionship even when they were not in court or serving Equestria. Rather, especially when they were not serving Equestria. Twilight, in a rare burst of assertiveness, had asked Sunset to move into her personal chambers with her. Sunset accepted with almost no excuses or fuss and confessed to her own sleeping troubles after so much had transpired. Together, the two princesses found something they both desperately sought after. Peaceful rest without tormenting, haunted dreams.
In public, there were rumors and suspicions that the two ruling alicorns were in a relationship, but neither had confirmed or denied it while going through their routines and the castle rumor mill had been surprisingly tight lipped. The two guard captains and a studious griffon personal assistant had seen to that. After much thought and consideration, both had agreed to hold off any public announcements until they had a better grasp of their emotions and where it was all going. Sure, they were long time friends who had seen and done things most could only read about and were quite comfortable with one another on almost every level. They knew they were, as Cadence would have put it, "in love." However, both Sunset and Twilight had agreed that after such a stressful set of events and changes they needed to be sure their bond was real and not just, “loneliness and sex hormones,” as Sunset so eloquently put it.
Twilight understood that Sunset was not ready to be in a “public relationship” yet. Twilight had been down this road before with other ponies she had been intimate with. Those relationships never stood the stress and time for better or worse.
However, she was willing to give her red and gold maned lover more slack given that she had once been married to her interdimensional twin. Sunset wanted to be sure her feelings were genuine. No one wanted to be thought of as “the replacement.” Twilight could respect that and judging by the way Sunset was nuzzling and nipping into her back fur things were progressing along just fine without the need of proclamation.
“Mmmmm, oh yessss, things do look quite cozy. Of course, if I had a bedhead mane like that I would not be in any hurry to wake up either.”
Sunset’s eyes shot wide open. She glanced up past the flowing stardust mane of indigo and magenta, through the purple feathers to see a floating mish-mashed gangly creature that looked patched together from numerous mythical creatures. His two different sized red and sickly yellow eyes were far too close as was his snaggle tooth grin. Sunset did the only thing she could do in such a moment of surprise. She screamed.
The goldenrod alicorn rolled backwards from Twilight attempting to free herself from the covers, smashing through her nightstand. The wood along with the few contents that had been placed there went flying across the room. With all the grace of a creature that had a hive of bees dropped on her head Sunset flailed for another few steps until her wings burst through the sheet that had been wrapped around her body. Her wings turned the soft woven linen to ash as they extended to their full flaming glory. Thankfully, Twilight had most of the room enchanted with fire resistant runes and spells for such outburst after a few unexpected incidents.
Looking through her wild, untamed mane Sunset locked her glowing teal eyes on the target of her ire, still floating above the bed. With a thought, a longsword appeared from the ether with a dark steel blade engulfed in red flame. “Discord! What the actual FUCK are you doing in my room?!”
“Well, actually it’s my room.” Sunset’s eyed Twilight with a ‘are you serious?’ face. “Right, sorry, no coffee yet.”
Discord just shrugged and continued to float before pulling out a paper calendar, pretending to consult it before it turned into a paper bird and flew out the window. “I was in the dimensional neighborhood and thought I would check in on my two favorite gal-pals and see how they were doing without little old me. Judging by the sword and flames in the bedroom I would say things have certainly gotten kinky quickly. Twilight, you little minx you.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. Sunset just growled. “As nice as it is to see you, Discord. It is, as it always has been, rude to just pop into my bedroom unannounced. Remember when I just moved in and had not even unpacked yet? I nearly fell out the window. Took me two whole seconds to remember I had wings!”
“How is that even possible?! You have crazy sophisticated wards in here that should have stopped him like a Mack truck hitting a mountain side.”
“Oh, please, give me some credit, Little Sunbutt. As skilled as our dear Twilight is, I was able to break dear Celestia’s wards on the safe where she used to keep the Elements of Harmony without breaking a sweat. A little casual B and E is nothing to a sly fox such as myself.”
Unsurprisingly, Discord temporarily turned himself into a fox with a bandit mask before popping back to his preferred form. Twilight snorted a giggle, which caused Sunset’s eye to twitch. Twilight glanced back at her marefriend when she heard the snort that sounded dangerously like a dragon about to breathe fire.
“I think we are getting sidetracked. Discord, like I said as nice as it is to see you we need to proceed to our daily duties. Afterwards, if you like you can join us for breakfast.”
Discord waggled his eyebrows and his smile only grew wider. Sunset’s brow furrowed more as her sword took on a brighter glow. “Ever the studious steward of all the lands. Oh, as always you remind me of why Celestia and toaslightlylessextent Luna chose YOU to rule Equestria.”
Sunset’s eyes never broke with Discord’s as his words cut. Twilight had not caught it because it was not meant for her.
“However,” Discord continued, snapping his claw talons once more to place party hats on both princess’s heads (Sunset’s also said Dunce) “You need not worry about those booooring responsibilities today! The sun is already… meh, mostly on its way up and I hid the moon down by the south pole... I think. We’ll find it later. For today is a special occasion! Today, we no longer bow our heads in mourning for the loss of a beloved friend and what it has done to the fancy cake industry. Today, we celebrate. For today is the official return of… *waaaaaait for iiiit* DISCORD DAY!”
Horns played, confetti fell from nowhere and the room smelled, of all things, like smores. Discord held his pose for a few seconds before he decided the awaited applause would not come. Both alicorns continued to stare at him. One with a dazed, slightly whimsical look. The other like she was half a second away from a berserker charge.
“Oh! Silly me, you are both struck speechless, of course. No need to thank me. You two just cozy up again and I will handle all the decorations and entertainment as I have done in the past. You can explain the details to bedhead over there or let her find out for herself. That could be fun too. Toodles!”
With a snap of his paw, Discord disappeared. Sunset let out a groaning sigh and allowed her sword to return to the ether space where it was summoned from. Carefully, just in case, Sunset glance over her shoulder to the window where she could see that the sun was in fact rising. That of course meant that the day’s activities needed to get underway. However, before Sunset decided what to do next her attention returned to Twilight, who was still sitting up in bed.
Slowly, and quite unsettlingly so, a smile crept across Twilight's face until it became a wide, maniacal grin. “Uhhhh, you okay over there, Twily?” Sunset suddenly found herself wrapped in a magenta levitation aura. She gasped as she was lifted and brought back to bed directly behind Twilight like they had been just moments before the interruption. Twilight let out a great, pleased sigh of relief and snuggled her back into Sunset’s body. Sunset let the last of her adrenaline pumped anger go and smiled as she stroked Twilight’s wing with her hoof.
“Not that I don’t like this, but don’t you think we should get ready for the day soon? Normally I would sleep in for a few more hours, but it sounds like you will need all hooves on deck today. Especially since Flurry Heart is still in the Empire visiting her mom.”
“Mmmm, nope.”
“Nope? Really?”
Twilight giggled and cooed at the soft strokes to her wings. “Just like I said, nope! You’ve never experienced a Discord Day. Once he’s declared the beginning of festivities it automatically becomes a national holiday. Everypony is off from work or duty to enjoy.”
“Huh. That’s… kind of awesome and yet also incredibly irresponsible. I mean, what if somepony had a wedding or something else they had planned?”
Twilight rolled slightly so she could look at Sunset, pulling her lover in closer for a kiss. “There are some ground rules that Celestia established. Only happens once a year and can’t be on the same day as any other established holiday, but the randomness of it is part of Discord’s charm.”
Sunset rolled her eyes when she finally noticed of the “Dunce” label on the party hat Discord had placed on her head. “Right, charm.”
“Oh, don’t be like that. Just give it and him a chance. I loved Discord Day! It was the only day I use to get to have a break. You saw what happened to me when he stopped doing them. I became a droning, soul-crushed workaholic. Trust me, most of the poking he does is all in good fun. If I was a gambling mare I would bet that by the end of the day you will be looking forward to the next one.”
Sunset sighed and nuzzled Twilight’s neck which elicited another pleasurable sigh and purr from the purple princess. “For you, I will give it a chance, but I still don’t think that means we should let him have free reign to go bananas with a side of ice cream all over the whole country.”
“Just try to relax, show some trust, and have a good time.”
“You can explain to me the rules and how this has gone in the past over breakfast. That will probably help settle my nerves. However, if it’s a day off I think more morning snuggles are in order.”
Twilight gasped and moaned from Sunset's expert touch. “Oh, most definitely.”
That was of course when Twilight’s personal assistant, Isabella Windsong, began beating frantically on the bedroom chamber door screaming, “Your Highness! The entire castle has been repainted pink and green and the clouds are apparently raining chocolate milk! We need your help!”
“Gueeeesss we should also make an official announcement over the SunLight emergency broadcast signal.”
Sunset sighed, once again denied her snuggle time. Her head beginning to throb from a coffee deprived headache. “Yeah.”
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“So, let me just recap so that I understand you correctly, Your Highness,” said Tempest Fury with her hoof resting against the bridge of her nose, eyes closed to help ease her headache and general queasiness. The vermilion unicorn Captain of the Solar Guard took a deep breath before continuing. “From sun up until sundown Discord, the Lord of Chaos, gets to do pretty much whatever he wants, no matter how crazy, to the limits of his imagination, as long as nopony gets hurt in the process. And we are all just supposed to… go out and enjoy ourselves?”
After calming her personal assistant, Twilight had accessed the Sunlight crystal network. The harmonic crystals that Sunset and Twilight had pioneered that were capable of communicating instantaneously to each other throughout all of Equestria. Some had even found their way into possession of friends and family beyond the borders in Griffonstone, the Crystal Empire, and Badlands nations. With the flick of her horn and a few secret security runes a crystal as big as her throne began to glow.
Sunset Shimmer had designed the network along the same architecture as the two way journals that she and Twilight had used for years. The central crystal had to be large and powerful enough to access all the crystals that had ever been produced across every corner of Equestria. Once active Twilight left a “voice mail” as Sunset called it that every creature would be able to hear simply by tapping their personal or household crystal. It was a marvel of modern magi-tech and revolutionized communications.
With the warning out of the way, Twilight was naturally next approached by her guard captain, Tempest Fury. “With all due respect, Your Highness, I am not comfortable having ALL the guards off to go frolic and goof off at a party. It just seems like the perfect opportunity for some creatures to take advantage of the festivities to create malicious mischief or something worse.”
Twilight nodded, taking a moment to finish her pancakes before answering. “I do recall some bad ponies trying to do things like that in the past, but more times than not Discord caught wind of their misdeeds and made examples of them in some of the most embarrassing ways. Nothing permanent! Like I said, he is not allowed to cause harm. But as you can imagine even a hardened thief would find it difficult to stand their ground wearing a glowing color changing tutu and horseshoes with permanent banana peels stuck to the bottom of them.”
Tempest did not smile or appear convinced.
“I understand your concerns and I will defer to your advice on the matter and agree that a small unit should be on guard, especially since this is the first Discord Day in more than forty years. You were not even alive the last time one was held.”
“And what a glorious day it will be for a comeback! Oh! The chance to really strut my stuff and work my magic once more. Just look how flabby and out of shape I have gotten? I really was letting everypony down by sulking at home these last many moons. I really should thank Sunset Shimmer for her motivation to get me back in the driver’s seat, as it were.”
Tempest arched an eyebrow, her left eye beginning to twitch it time to her raging pulse. “Princess Sunset suggested this?”
“Hmm? Oh, heavens no. That would require her to remove that stick from up her plot hole first. We had… let’s call it a little heart to heart before that Royal Rumble you had with Aine’s children. She convinced me that it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and get back out into the world. Let the ponies of today see how much I have to offer, add a little delightful chaos to the world once more. Balance, blah, blah, blah fate of the world.” Discord pulled back the fur on his wrist to reveal a massive watch with a picture of Celestia with cake on her face, her forelegs moving like clock hands. “Now, if you will excuse me I have to go decorate the west coast. See you ladies in the square later and I do hope no pony is allergic to lime or cherry flavors.”
Discord set a large tin canister down on the table with the words “Coffee Grounds” on the label. He winked at Twilight before disappearing. Isabella was the first approach the container, but far too scared to open it. The griffon had been a nervous wreck most of the morning. Her condition not improving as feathers fluffed in every direction when a high pitched, demonic harpy scream erupted through the halls of the castle. The dining hall double doors burst open violently to a growling, huffing goldenrod alicorn with a frizzy mane of untamed fire, slightly twitching glowing red eyes, and a horn that burned with dangerous levels of power on the brink of destructive release.
“WHERE IS THAT FLOATING PATCHWORK PROJECT REJECT?!”
Tempest on instinct began layering defense shields for the inevitable firestorm while Isabella slunk lower in her chair. Twilight jumped from her seat and began to cautiously approach Sunset. “Sunny? What happened?”
“Discord replaced all the coffee in the castle with cans of fucking ground pepper!”
All the eyes in the room turned to the large cylinder currently sitting on the table. Sunset marched up to the tin. It did resemble the storage tins that the kitchen staff used, but after having ripped open a dozen other tins that were all filled with pepper she was not hopeful and completely unsurprised when the can erupted open and classic spring loaded party snakes burst into the air along with multi colored confetti. Isabella screeched when the snakes eventually slithered out the door.
“Somepony call the undertaker, he’s about to get a jumbo sized corpse to deal with.”
“Sunny,” Twilight said calmly with a hint of loving sweetness, “breathe.”
“I don’t need fucking breathing meditation, I NEED COFFEE.”
“Sunny.”
“Ugggghhhhhh… fiiiiiiiiine. I won’t kill him, but seriously, Twily, coooooffeeeee. I can't BRAIN without my coffee!”
“Discord is known for mischief and pranks. None of this is meant to be malicious even if it sometimes comes off as crass or in poor taste. This is probably his way of trying to get you out of the castle and to enjoy some of the games and treats or whatever crazy shenanigans he has planned for the day outside. There might even be coffee outside. I guarantee before mid-day there will be a smile on your pretty face.”
Sunset let out a sigh, blowing the hanging wisps of mane from her face. The pleading smile on Twilight’s face cutting right through all of Sunset’s anger and frustration. Twilight was right. They had both been working hard the last several months and were in need of a break even for a day. If that came via Discord then so be it. As long as he behaves from here on out, I guess I can too.
“Okay, princess, you win. What do we do next?”
Twilight levitated over a plate of pancakes and fresh fruit. “First, you eat. Then we see what awaits us outside.”
After adding syrup and butter Sunset looked up and had a thought. “Has anypony seen Luna yet today?”
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Discord slinked just above the stone and mosaic tile floor of Luna’s tower. He was surprised to find that the Mistress of the Night was not in her chambers, though the drink he had left by her bed earlier was gone. The two thestrals that had been standing outside her door were vigilant as statues before an empty room. Well, that's just sad. Discord considered covering them in chocolate syrup and sending them sliding down the hall, but it was less fun when there was no one to enjoy watching the prank.
Instead, Discord made himself invisible and flat as a piece of paper and slipped under the door and upward. He could sense Luna nearby, her power emanating like a beacon on the unseen magical flow of the world. As a being of chaos surrounded by an overwhelming sea of harmonic energy Discord often felt like the oil patch that just could not mesh with the water he floated upon. However, Fluttershy had once better described him as the odd duck that skimmed across the surface, sometimes diving in, but always floating back to the surface and emerging clean and dry. Unique. That was the word she like to use to describe him.
He would never be able to truly mesh with Equestria, but that was okay. He could still dive in, have a good time, show others a good time and the joys of occasionally misbehaving, and then rinse and repeat. Never let them get too comfortable. Too many ponies were too content in what they had and the status quo. It was time to shake things up and that should include all his old friends at the top of the food chain.
Discord found Luna lying back in a lounge chair with sunglasses on at the top of her open air tower. Surprisingly, there were no guards. She usually always had at least four. The opportunity was too good to pass up. Discord conjured a pie and creeped ever closer, slowly raising the dessert to strike his target.
“I would set the pie down for consumption if I were you,” said Luna without moving. “I just had my coat infused with honeysuckle and lavender and would be greatly displeased to find it sullied by sugary sweet filling.”
“Oh pffft. You use to know how to have fun.”
“I am having plenty of fun and will indulge more thoroughly once I have finished my meditation. Thank you for the drink, by the way. The moment I heard you declare it Discord Day I dismissed my servants so that they might go and partake in the cheer and madness. For now, I would much rather sit back and watch from here all that takes place below.”
“That sounds like something Celestia would do. Maybe throw in some stolen cake when she thought no pony was watching. I thought you better than that, Lulu.”
Luna’s horn lit up and a creamy yellow daiquiri with slice of pineapple appeared next to her chair. “You party your way, old friend, and I will party my way.”
Discord fell over backwards laughing. “I see, drinks and debauchery it is! Then I shall leave you and your soon-to-be guests to it before this story requires an M rating.” Luna waved him off casually while bringing the straw to her lips. A few minutes later half a dozen thestrals landed at the edge of Luna’s tower and bowed respectfully.
Sable Nimbus was the first to step forward, bowing more deeply, licking her lips in anticipation. “You sent word that you wished to have company, Mistress?”
A smile spread across Luna’s face.
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Sunset Shimmer had a headache. That was not uncommon when she did not get her daily dose of the “nectar of the gods” also known as coffee. The goldenrod alicorn knew she was addicted to caffeine, but did not care in the least. Thankfully, the worst of the throbbing pain had subsided when Twilight had offered to help brush her tangled mane. That had been most pleasant, spread out on the bed while Twilight ran a brush and occasional hoof through the red and yellow mass. She had temporarily ceased the spell her mother had taught her that gave her mane the "ethereal wave," having found out that it was silly difficult to get a brush through it otherwise. They had both found that out the hard way.
Sunset had next collected her PAAL, her AI enabled smart phone that she had managed to bring across the mirror portal from the human world. Raven was most pleased to learn about and observe any new information regarding pony culture, especially holidays and special events. The glass screen had lit up with a small animated pony head with cream colored fur and mousy brown mane done up in a neat bun. Sunset had warned her electronic friend that she had not been properly caffeinated and that she was not entirely sure what was going to happen. Raven, with mock concern, stated that she would call 911 immediately knowing full well she no longer had access to such a function.
Even with that in mind, Sunset Shimmer’s headache returned in full force the moment she stepped outside the palace gates. (Which had been turned into pretzel sticks... that someone had apparently been chewing on.) Sunset turned to look at Twilight, then back to the night guard captain, Gauge, whose mouth was slightly askew with arched brow, and finally to Tempest Fury whose face probably closer resembled her own.
“Oh my mother goddess fucked sideways…”
Twilight giggled.
“What she said,” murmured Tempest Fury feeling equally disturbed.
Once, long ago, Sunset had been trying to get a grasp on how her geode’s empath powers worked she had been invited to take a peek inside Pinkie Pie’s mind. It was one of the strangest, trippy, closest to mind altering drugs moment of her life. What was going on in front of her in the city of her birth was like that, but now kicked up to eleven.
Some buildings had been completely altered to resemble food and even smelled as such when the wind shifted. Some of the streets now bent and twisted to rise to the buildings that were floating or melting like something out of the minds of Escher and Dali. The sky was not behaving any better with clouds passing by, some playing marching band music, in the shapes of various Equestrian creatures and occasionally raining chocolate milk and…
Sunset sniffed and touched some of the dark brown liquid that was falling from the sky. She risked a lick from her hoof and her eyes grew wide. “It’s… cola flavored.” Sunset confiscated a cup from a street vendor booth and chased after the low hanging cloud. “It’s not coffee, but at least it has caffeine.”
“My princess, are you certain you should be drinking that?” Sunset leveled Gauge with an annoyed glance that bounced right off the thestral as if his face were also made of armor. “Considering the source.”
“She once drank tequila from a black ceramic bottle shaped like a skull. After vomiting into a trash can, she did not make it back to bed and instead slept on the hotel room floor.” Sunset turned her glare down upon Raven. The digital pony on screen just blinked nonchalantly. Thanks for oversharing.
Cautiously, Sunset gave the soda a sniff before taking a sizable gulp. After nothing happened she shrugged and sipped some more. “I suppose he could have slipped a laxative in there and I wouldn’t know it, but actually that has benefits in its own right.”
It was then that Sunset took note of the cup she had taken and the two dozen others like it still on the booth table. A travel thermos adorn with pictures of her and Twilight making terrible faces like freeze frame photo captures in mid-sentence. That was strange… until she looked left. Sunset’s eye fell upon the carnival style booth closest to her, then the one next to that, and the next one after that. They were all being run by a Discord. Some had small differences like different colored facial hair or hats or even major physical changes, but ultimately still the draconequus trickster. Sunset returned to Twilight’s side.
“How can he split into so many versions of himself and still maintain control? Even for him, wouldn’t that drive a being crazy?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “It’s Discord, he was already crazy.”
“Riiiiight. Not helping the overall argument here, Twily.”
“Not to be the party pooper, but what exactly are we supposed to be doing?” asked Tempest, still tense and jumping to turn herself defensively to everything that moved in an unnatural manner.
“You are supposed to be having fun, Tempest,” said Twilight. “Go, enjoy the day off. Relaaaaaaax. Take Gauge with you. Try something you’ve never tried before. Maybe putting the armor away will help.”
“If it’s all the same to you, I think I’ll just stick close to you. As much for my protection as yours, Your Highness.”
“Na uh,” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “If you want to stay with me and hang out as friends that’s fine, but no ranks, no titles, and no armor. See? No crown. Which means it’s just Twilight and Tempest. The same goes for you too, Gauge.”
Tempest turned her eyes to the thestral who shrugged and nodded his head. “I’ll… try.”
Twilight reared back and pulled Tempest, Gauge, and Sunset into a group hug. “THIS! This is what I’ve been missing. Just having fun with all my friends just like I used to. Now, if I can just get Isa to come out of her room it will be perfect.”
“All part of the Discord Day service, ma’am!” shouted one of the Discords from a nearby booth, twirling his handlebar mustache and bouncing a bushy white eyebrow.
Twilight tugged at Sunset’s foreleg then pointed to another booth being run by a Discord wearing a cabbie hat and overalls. “I wanna win a prize!”
Nostalgia, both beloved and heart breaking passed over Sunset for a moment, but she chose to say nothing and focused on the here and now. If Twilight wanted to win a stupid prize that would probably disappear at the end of the day then so be it… Just as long as it was not a giant parakeet. Otherwise, she would be having a rather heated discussion with Discord on how he knew so much of what happened on Earth.
Twilight stopped on her way to a game booth and waved at a gathered group of mixed species. They looked like they had been cautiously having fun. Curiosity overtook their caution as they watched their high princess bounce up to the booth. She picked up the ball and tested its weight before setting it back down. Twilight turned around and lined up her hindleg, taking a moment to wink at Sunset before kicking the ball that went flying at muzzle velocity.
The ball obliterated the standing bottles, exited the booth and proceeded to strike a dunk tank target across the street dropping a stallion into a large vat tank filled with orange gelatin. The stallion cheered wildly, coming up for air with a mouth full of the jiggly substance.
“Double winner!” shouted the carny Discord. He pulled down a large plushie that looked like Pinkie Pie and handed it to Twilight. Twilight levitated her prize onto her back and whooped and cheered. The citizens that had been hesitant to take part immediately began trying their own luck. Sunset had to admit, she had not seen her best friend so happy in a long time. It brought a serene smile to her face and a warmth to her heart.
Sunset shrugged a moment later and tried to play it off as nonchalant cool. “Nice shot. I remember back in the day hearing how you missed a soccer ball that was right in front of you.”
“Practice makes perfect. That and I had feet then instead of hooves plus that high center of gravity so it really was not fair.”
“Okay, so what else is there to do?”
“If you are looking to make the morning a bit more exciting might I suggest, ‘The Battle of the Brains!’ booth.” Sunset scowled letting out a small growl at regular Discord who had wedged himself far too close for Sunset's comfort between the two alicorns. “After all, when was the last time my favorite old friend really got to flaunt and show off her smarts, hmmmm?”
Twilight blushed. A fact that did not go unnoticed by her marefriend. Sunset’s scowl darkened when she noticed how Discord had all but wrapped himself around Twilight like a constrictor, hugging her closely to him. Sunset would have dismissed it as just him trying to make others uncomfortable by getting inside their personal space, but Twilight didn’t seem to mind the closeness and Discord leveled a gaze at the goldenrod alicorn that lingered just a little too long. He was up to something, but she did not know what.
Before Sunset could comment Discord had untangled himself and taken Twilight’s hoof and began leading her away. Sunset shook her head and flinched when she realized Tempest was now standing next to her closely.
“Tell me you saw that.”
Sunset nodded. “I saw something. I don’t know what his game is, but it’s not just to have a care-free day of fun that’s for damn sure.”
“You play his game, you’re good at that sort of thing. I’m going to stick to Twilight like glue and if he so much as causes her to chip a hoof on accident trying to show off I’ll ring his scrawny, worm neck.”
“Is that even possible considering his nature?” commented Gauge who had been following close behind.
“Are you going to try and stop me?”
Gauge smirked and shrugged in that noncommittal way that he did. “I would rather take pictures to be honest.”
Sunset smiled, nudging Tempest. “Told you he was a keeper.”
The other three quickly hurried to follow Twilight and Discord who had been talking rapidly back and forth. Discord snapped out of existence for a moment before reappearing at the center of the stage he erected from the ground wearing a suit top and striped tie. He gestured to one of the podiums that bore Twilight’s cutie mark. Unsurprising the other had Sunset’s. Sunset hesitated at the steps for a moment before glancing over to Twilight. She smiled brightly at her and nodded eagerly.
The things I do for you woman.
With a sigh and her best tolerant mask Sunset took her place behind the other podium with a buzzer, briefly wondering if it would zap her when she hit the button. Tempest and Gauge sat down front and center below the stage ready to move in if needed.
“Welcome every creature to the first ever, Battle of the Royal Brains! I was going to call it battle of the princesses, but that’s already been done a few times. Clichés, not in my self titled story! ” Discord threw some cards over his shoulder that had appeared in his paw. The cards turned into birds and flew away. That earned him a few cheers from the crowd that began to form. He paused for dramatic effect and allowed the quickly growing spectators to gather and grow while cheesy gameshow music played on repeat from somewhere.
“I’m having difficulty processing the rapid changes and multiple levels of insanity of all of this.”
Sunset glanced down at Raven, massaging her head that still throbbed. “You and me both, sister.”
“Allllllrighty then! The rules are very simple. It’s a best of thirty questions of trivia from all over the world and whatever else I could come up with on short notice. First to press the buzzer gets to answer. The winner gets a star. The loser gets… well, you’ll see. Now remember ladies, while it is all in good fun I expect only the best from Equestria’s brightest stars!”
Sunset had to do a double-take at Twilight who suddenly became incredibly serious with her hoof hovering just above the big red button. I think she just switched on her A game. Okay, fine, let it never be said that Sunset Shimmer threw a competition just because I’m dating my opponent.
“Good luck, Twilight,” Sunset called out with a genuine smile.
Twilight smiled back. “You too, Sunset.” The smile turned ferocious. “You’re going to need it.”
Before Sunset could comment further Discord took center stage. “Annnnnnd question number one! During the Siege of Canterlot Twilight and her adorable friends fled south to find help. What was the name of the town they first arrived in after leaving Equestria?”
Sunset sat back, her eyebrow arching. “Wait a second, that’s a loaded q-”
*DING*
“Klugetown!”
“Aw c’mon! She was part of the question!”
“Correct! Star for Twilight.” Discord paused, grinned and pressed a button on his podium.
From nowhere a large bucket dumped freezing cold water onto Sunset and she cried out at the sudden frigid wetness. Sunset’s horn blazed and her wings turned to flame. “ARRRRGH! YOU SON OF A BIT….” Sunset paused to glance at the young fillies and colts in the ever growing crowd. "Biscuit." She pushed wet mane from her face and growled. She next fished her PAAL from its carry pouch.
“Raven, you okay?”
“I am waterproof as long as my casing is intact… You, however, look like a drowned cat.”
Sunset snorted, narrowing her eyes. “Okay, you want to play it like that? Fine. It is on, Sparkle!”
Twilight grinned wider. “Bring it!”
Discord suppressed his characteristic laugh and straightened his tie before coughing politely into his paw. “Question two! What was the name of the oak tree library that Twilight stayed in during the one thousandth Summer Sun Celebration?”
*DING*
“The Golden Oak Library!” shouted Twilight before her expression soured a bit. “I still miss that place.”
“Are all these questions going to have to do with Twilight?!” Sunset gasped and growled when another bucket of water doused her.
“To answer your inquiry. No, not all of them.”
Sunset pushed her wet mane back from her face again and leaned forward, dripping on her podium as she stood with her hoof over the red button. “Next.”
While true to his word, not ALL of them had to do with obscure Twilight Sparkle knowledge, a great many had. However, even the ones that Sunset had known the answer to she had hit the buzzer too slowly and been drenched again and again. Twilight had long since answered more than fifteen correct making it impossible for Sunset to catch up, but the game kept going all the way to question thirty. Sunset had already been dumped on twenty-nine times.
“Allllllllright every creature! We already have a winner, naturally, but this is the final chance to see if Princess Twilight can sweep her opponent. Get those brooms ready because this last one is a tuffy!”
“You can do it, Sunset!”
Sunset glanced to her right and much to her surprise, it was the elder solar guard from the armory named Ironside, shouting her name.
“Hey!”
“What?” he replied with a goofy grin. “You already won, I wanna see ya get a bucket of water on yer head.”
“Traitor,” grumbled Twilight with a quirky smile.
Discord cleared his throat with extra theatrics. “And now for the final question… What was Celestia’s favorite color?”
Twilight hit the button so hard her podium cracked. “Pink!”
“Ha! Wrong!” cried Sunset, smashing her button repeatedly.
“Correct!”
Sunset whipped her head around to Discord so fast that her wet mane threw water about. “WHAT?! OH NOW THAT IS SOME GRADE A HORSEAPPLES RIGHT THERE! I know for a FACT that her favorite color w-” The bucket dumped another load of cold water on Sunset, but she did not feel the chill. In fact, the water began to evaporate almost instantly into wisps of rising steam. Twilight stopped cheering and gawked nervously.
“Uh, Sunny, are you o-”
Sunset’s wings snapped open and burst to flames, her mane drying and flapping about like a fire that just got a fresh helping of wind and gasoline. The podium in front of her was smashed to bits as she stomped on it. Discord’s goofy grin vanished as he floated closer to Twilight.
Sunset’s eyes were focused on him and him alone as she spat through clenched teeth, veins throbbing and neck muscles taunt. “I don’t care what you think, what you read in a tabloid, or if you just wanted to dump thirty buckets of water on me, but MY MOTHER’S favorite color was the color of MY eyes. She told me that more than once when I was a filly and then later said it again a few years ago while we were enjoying a quiet picnic under her favorite tree. She loved that my eyes also matched Luna’s. Pink. Is. Wrong.”
Discord looked down at the card that was in his bird talon and then shrugged. “Oops, wrong card. My mistake.” He snapped his paw and a bucket dumped a deluge of water on Twilight’s head. She squealed as the ice cold liquid forced her mane flat and soaked her to the bone. “But Twilight still wins. Thanks for playing!”
Sunset’s anger ebbed and her wings retracted at the sight of her marefriend shivering in the wet, unable to see because her usually billowing mane was now a blinding curtain. It took a few more deep breaths before Sunset once again reminded herself it was all supposed to be in good fun.
“Here, have a participation prize.” Discord snapped his talon and the two alicorns found themselves clad in white t-shirts that had magically taken their wings into account. Sunset looked down having to twist a bit to read the words that read, “I’m with Genius,” underscored by a red arrow that was pointing towards Twilight. Similarly, Twilight had a shirt that read, “I’m with Grouch,” with its own red arrow pointing towards Sunset. Twilight snorted and tried and failed to hold down her grin.
“Sunset, I would like to request that next time you feel you are going to spontaneously combust to please set me aside. My circuitry is sensitive to excess heat.”
Before Sunset could comment the PAAL was levitated from her pouch and was now hovering near Discord. “HEY!”
“You know, you are an odd little thing if I have not said so before.”
“That means next to nothing coming from a magical creature that looks like it went through a wood chipper and was reassembled by a blindfolded child with colored crazy glue,” replied Raven, the digital pony on the screen giving him a glare.
“Ohhhhh, it’s like that is it?”
Sunset growled, a nervous warble to her voice, “Discord, I’m warning you, don’t you dare do anything to her.”
“Do anything? How can you expect me to defend my precious honor when I cannot look the wannabe pony thing who insults me in the eye, hmm?”
“Discord…”
The draconequus snapped his paw and the PAAL was surrounded by a ball of light that felt as blinding as the sun itself. Sunset and everyone else who had been watching the exchange had to turn away or risk going temporarily blind.
“RAVEN!”
The ball of light dissipated and four hooves and a body could be heard landing on the wooded stage. When Sunset looked back after rapidly blinking the spots from her eyes she found a cream colored unicorn with mousy brown mane and tail both styled into neat kept hair buns. The unicorn opened her honey colored eyes and blinked a few times before beginning to look about. The silence of shock did not last.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”