//------------------------------// // 123. A Befriended Cat. // Story: Baa-Ram-Ewe! // by Darkonshadows //------------------------------// -Equus, nation of Airship Wemauliya, The Witch’s Fare, Fresh Start- The day was going alright and being a pony in a town as mixed up as ours was never boring. “So how is the summit going?” I asked as Jade walked in and got hugged by Eir, I snickered at the shade of blue her face turned before Eir released her. “Nice to see you too Eir, are you bigger than I remember? Things could be going better, not so surprisingly Discord is the stabilizing factor in all the chaos and some deals were made.” Jade took a seat and raised a finger, she was now acting as a customer even if she lived here. Fizzle soon came in with a bag full of clams. “The economy might right itself eventually, but Chaosica wanted some concessions on things going forward to help it come to fruition faster.” “Don’t ask.” Fizzle stated as she continued on by Jade. “Also no, I still won’t tell you what problem I’m currently focusing on in my job Jade.” “Well I’ve got egg on my face from all of this… also we’ll go back to being a part of Equestria eventually instead of being a funnily named independent country in the middle of their territory. Say speaking of eggs Fresh, toast cheese sandwich with a fried egg and some fish jerky?” If there was one thing we weren’t out of Jade, it was always going to be fish jerky. Griffons and other meat eaters wouldn’t mind a free snack since we couldn’t get rid of it all, but they still have to pay for actual full meals. “Clarification, not grilled?” There was a difference between grilled cheese and toast cheese. “Yes.” Jade stretched out and then found her rear end getting smacked by a tiger paw as our towns most infamous chimera lawyer passed by. Instead of yelping in pain, Jade blushed and mewled. “Hey, I’m trying to relax after some rough negotiations with Discord! I managed to win Airship Mauled a year’s supply of Banana Pudding for everyone in town, it even applies retroactively in case someone moves here and I made sure that’s it’s not all delivered at once. I had to remind Discord that our prior arrangements still apply.” “Were vanilla, whipped cream and biscuits included in that deal?” Maria the goat head of the chimera asked. “Yes, Discord actually drove a normal bargain on the vanilla, but he was oddly wafer thin on the biscuit deal and crumbled on it easily enough.” Jade needed new material for puns. “As for the last one… Discord’s people recently whipped their cream stores into too much of a shape, it’s not viable for consumption since it all became ripped cream. Sorry Maria, the free whipped cream for a year will remain a pipe dream.” The goat head sighed sadly and sagged much to the amusement of her two sisters she shared a body with. “I am Fortitude, the fantastically fragrant!” Yep, that’s the one yak that needs no introduction, just about everyone knows who he is since he shouts that every once in a while for no apparent reason. The best Leader the Minotaurs have ever had, for various dumb reasons. “I am getting a good deal on piping chaotic dreams to the Minotaurs from Discord and Luna! Friend Jaded should have bargained for dreams about pipes from Luna.” “Yeah, I still can’t believe you managed to get Luna to agree with that bit of insanity, though dreams too chaotic for nightmares is a small price to pay I guess.” Going to tentatively think the world was safe Fizzle, because you had yet to declare outright war on Jaded for all the stuff she was pulling lately to get you to talk to her. I’m pretty sure Luna and Celestia still disliked Discord intensely, that Fizzle wasn’t panicking about it meant that things weren’t so bad. Though I suspect we’d be seeing more flying pigs in the coming months. “We’ll need to return to the summit within a week’s time to finalize some deals, also it’ll take me about that long to find the current Lambkin representative and dig them out of that bunker they buried themselves alive in with at least ten years’ worth of food about three days before the summit began.” -Earth, Calisota, Kilmotor Hill, Smolder- “This is exasperating.” Donald Duck was a cool guy, he had a temper like a dragon and was willing to put himself in the way of bodily harm for the sake of others like Pom does on a regular basis. Also their luck was comparable, which was why I really liked this guy. “Tell me about it, but I’m quite sure Pom will find her way here… now if only The Phantom Blot and The Eggheads weren’t still a threat to us.” We were currently playing a game of ‘Scrooge Monopoly’, Gallus would have loved this cutthroat business game since I certainly know that I do! It was my turn and Donald has miraculously been rolling a series of ones the whole game, even Ocellus said it was statistically impossible to be that unlucky. I had to remind her that Jacky ‘The Blackcap’ Chickadee existed and Pom told us horror stories about what she faces in her general everyday life. “Everything will be fine Smolder, you’ll see.” Donald might be hard to understand at times, his voice was exceptionally awkward to listen to, but he was a great guy once you could get the gist of what his badly warped voice was trying to convey. “If Pom is even half as amazing as you two say she is, she’ll be here in no time at all!” We were all aware that Pom was being hunted by mercenaries and the general uptick of mercenaries appearing in New York was worrying, it was a good thing we already knew Pom was in Pennsylvania at the moment. -Somewhere in Pennsylvania, Pom- Pennsylvania was nicer and less crowded than New York. “Thanks again for the help Hunter and be careful, someone might send people after you to get to me.” I motioned for Dormarch to cut communication to Camden Town. I looked to the white furred dog Bolt and the black cat Mittens, both seemed to be getting along at the moment. Bolt was a bit on edge and trying to interrogate Mittens. Bolt was suspicious of Mittens being a spy for the ‘Green Eyed Man’ man from his show, when she was actually simply a declawed cat that became homeless by people who left her for dead. She partially played along with Bolt’s delusions in an attempt to slowly help bring him down to earth according to what Dolly says. So yeah, Mittens has an obvious issue with trust, Bolt has issues plural and I hoped Dolly and I could work with them on that. At least Mittens was going to help Bolt before I tripped over the leash tying the two together, not that Mittens was happy that we were still dragging her along. It was only the promise of food that kept the starving cat around. Let’s see, if I actually got everything. Two parts dog food, enough for a few days for both Bolt and Dolly. One part of cat food for Mittens, that poor homeless cat that was left out in the cold by her previous family and was dragged into this by Bolt, of whom wouldn’t let her out of his sight. It was nice that Bolt was making friends with Mittens and Dolly, if he wasn’t a bit delusional and paranoid about imagined secret organizations. Not that we didn’t have enough problems with the actual existence of real organizations possibly hunting us down. At least we were all heading in the same direction and could help a lost dog. Bolt needed to get to Hollywood in California to get back to his person Penny and all I needed to do was go north to get to Duckberg from there. Bolt was willing to trust Dolly somewhat thanks to her big sister nature. Bolt was an actor that never knew a normal life outside the set, hopefully he’d find one after all this traveling and would hopefully learn to be a normal dog. Around us... not as likely to happen. Okay back to my list of things, which Dormarch was thankfully providing for me on the screen. Bought a new helmet for Dolly, of which she’s going to design to be like her old destroyed one. Let’s see, some weird random supplies to make Dolly’s helmet as tough as her skateboard was, or at least Dolly says it will be after she’s done with it. Don’t know what made her skateboard tougher than most known metals in this world yet still flexible, but that’s what Dormarch said about its integrity. I’ll take Dolly’s word for it that the rather specific brand of wood varnish was an important part of it. At least I wasn’t going to have money problems in this world, apparently we were making Hunter plenty of money to send our way just by existing. I’m fairly aware that our images were being used, but I was okay with that as long as Hunter was careful with the risks involved. I personally wasn’t going to need this world’s money when it was time to ultimately leave with my friends. A skateboard maintenance kit that wouldn’t be too hard to carry, with spare wheels, bearings and axels that Dolly was going to use. Enough food for myself, which was dried fruits, specially packaged vegetables and plastic bottles of assorted nuts, just like my life. Last thing of note, enough water for all of us. At this point I was carrying quite a bit of weight. It was a good thing we weren’t walking the entire way, though we weren’t going to openly hitchhike. That was just asking for trouble, we were going to try and sneak our way there. ‘Try’ being the major point of failure here, as chances were that we would run into a lot of problems on the way there anyway. My thoughts went to my medication. A normal dosage of arrhythmia medication had a decent half-life. With my metabolism, it's estimated to be one pill every two days. While Dormarch, and the Rescue Aid Society doctors, would want me on anxiety medication. They had acknowledged that it wasn’t going to be highly ineffective because I could easily burn it out quickly through the sheer willpower of my nearly chronic anxiety. Dormarch also noted unusual biological readings from me just breathing normally, but said he would eventually tell me about what had him so confused once he has eventually figured it out personally. Now we just had to find our ride out of Pennsylvania. “So we’re going to be in the neighborhood of riding some kind of hauling truck heading southwest, we’ll need to be able to see where we’re going.” Just to make sure we’re not going backwards Dolly. “Why?” Bolt took a small shine to Dolly, he didn’t have an idea how to be a normal dog so Dolly didn’t register as anything unusual to him. “Imagine hopping into the back of any old cargo truck and incidentally ending back up in New York, then getting shot at by mercenaries.” Which Dolly reminded me, I still had the dart that missed me. It had enough tranquilizer in it to put down a rhino, I really didn’t want to be taken alive by whoever that shot that at me. Dolly and I shivered, Mittens seemed to get the gist of things, but as for Bolt... “I’m sure I could take on those mercenaries if I had my super powers, stupid packing peanuts!” Yeah we really needed to find a way to let Bolt down gently about the whole ‘Super Dog’ thing. I wouldn’t personally ween Bolt off the idea entirely though. I’m not about to say that Bolt can’t become a real super dog in time, magic among many other things existed on this world, but he currently was just a normal dog that was forced into being a method actor from when he was a puppy. Now as for Dolly, who had been a normal dog for the most part aside from her skateboarding passion, has recently done a few anomalous things due to our magical bond and me feeding into it during the Nimnul incident. The likeliest reason why I couldn't remember all the flat lines that happened to me. Dolly might actually get stronger and could eventually pass for what would qualify as real super dog, she could even do that without further aid from me. Mittens rolled her eyes and meowed something sarcastic as she tugged on the leash still wrapped around her waist trying to get it off. That Bolt didn’t get out much was an understatement and Mittens was supposedly his prisoner spy and he wanted to be the one to deal with her. So we let Bolt do so, provided he wasn’t cruel to Mittens, at least he wasn’t hurting her in his misguided beliefs. “So the truck stop…” Dolly intoned slowly pointing to it with a single clawed digit, I nodded. We had bought our supplies and now had to be on the move, unless we wanted someone to actually track us down. “How are were going to let Bolt know he’s not actually a super dog?” “Who’s to say he can’t be one eventually, he’s seems pretty super already to me with how much trouble he seems willing to go to get back to his person… even if she is just an actor. Do you think they might have already replaced Bolt?” We were walking just a little ahead of Bolt dragging Mittens along behind us, quietly talking. “I mean we’re going to cross the whole continent to get him back home, only to find out someone took his spot and that he doesn’t actually have a person. That might break him.” “Seriously Pom? I think things are going to be okay even if he has been replaced by a 'stand in' dog. The actor that plays Penny actually cares about Bolt as a dog, there’s no doubt about that given the behind the scenes special they did on the show. They even made sure to point out that Bolt wasn’t being abused and was kept quite healthy, but that’s not saying much about his actual mental health.” Shaking her head, Dolly and I started scouting for vehicles heading the way we needed to go. I didn’t exactly feel safe around airplanes and would rather keep my hooves on the ground this time. “Do you think he can actually do it without magic?” “Dolly, you already had magic well before I even met you, I’ve only helped bring it to the forefront and you are the one that actually started our bond with it. So really, chances are that he could find a way to be a super dog even without magic given the extraordinary things we’ve seen already.” I didn't currently like all the injuries Dolly was dealing with. Not that my body was feeling any better than a constant dull ache. “Still, you don’t need a bond like ours to use magic or even be special. Though Magic certainly helps when it comes to surviving the toilet clog that is my life.” “How about that car carrier?” It was a truck with a triple stack of cars, Dolly seemed to think it looked good. “How will we know which way the car carrier is going?” That’s going to be the problem. “That car carrier just pulled in coming from the north east heading in a southwesterly direction, it’s perfect for our needs for the time being.” Dormarch intoned from the PET strapped to my front right leg, looked a little more chipper after what we’ve been through. “So it’s a good a choice as any, I’ll tell you when it stops heading in a direction we need to go in. In general the cars in a car carrier tend to have their doors unlocked, so I’d suggest Dolly go check it out.” Once Dolly found a van with doors that weren’t locked, we all piled into that particular car located on the bottom row of the car carrier and waited for the driver. -Dolly- Pom was playfully distracting Bolt and trying to get him to relax a little. This was in an effort so I could talk to Mittens without distraction. “So you going to tell him, you obviously know that he isn’t a super dog like he says he is.” Mittens was the one to start the conversation before I could. She was also trying to get Bolt to see some reason, it wasn’t going well as Bolt was still obsessed with the idea of his 'number one villain'. “Also what’s your story and why are you following this Pom around if she got you hurt like this.” “Hey, Pom isn’t the reason I’m hurt! Plus you already know by now that she can talk to dogs.” It wasn’t hard to figure out it and we weren’t exactly hiding our interactions at all. “I made my own decisions that could have gotten me killed, but it was all worth the broken snout and tail. Also things are a bit complicated between us, I kind of accidentally left my family to even be with Pom.” I basically saved two hospitals worth of patients from a lethal power outage, if the worst was a broken nose and tail I’d gladly do it all over again… but I would rather avoid the injuries this time. “Let me guess, did the bipeds in your life not feed you enough?” Mittens stated with an aggressive tone. Pom profiled this cat, needless to say a lot bad things were done to Mittens. Declawing a cat was basically the same as debarking a dog. Unless it was necessary to save Mitten's life, then it was a cruel thing to do to her before abandoning her out onto the streets. “No, but that’s because there were no bipeds or even an animalistic in my life before Pom appeared. Also there are a few things I think you should know about me and Pom.” Time to lay things out for the cat. “Oh what, are you a super dog too? It sounds like that’s where you’re heading with this.” Mittens said dully with sarcasm. “Nope, not yet at any rate, but I think I might be able to get there eventually if I stick with Pom.” Being a super hero was way cooler than being a police dog, but Pom was technically a police officer where she comes from. Basically the same thing at any rate. “Pom is a dimensional traveling alien that has magic and I’m a, mostly normal, dog that formed a bond with her. If you don’t believe me, I have ninety witnesses that will tell you they saw how she arrived on our world. We’re kind of on the… heh… lamb, because people out to get us.” “Really?” Mittens seemed to not take me seriously. “That’s what you’re going to go with?” “Hey Pom, can you pass Dormarch over here, I need to convince Mittens of something.” I quickly took Dormarch into my paws. “What do you need sis?” Dormarch asked and I typed out a command. “Okay, calling Dalmatian Street, hold on.” Eventually we saw a scene of chaos and my brother Dante Dalmatian was holding the device. “Hey be careful guys, we don’t want to break this or else we might not be able to communicate with Dolly until we get a new one. I can actually see it happening you know!” Looking at Dante over my shoulder, Mittens saw my family. “You wouldn’t believe how many of our brothers and sisters are waiting for you to make calls Dolly. Hey, what’s with the cat?” “What in the…” Mittens seemed to see a mass of black and white spots running around behind Dante. “Mittens that’s my family back in Britain, no we don’t have owners or pets… but yes that’s my home. Up until I ended up traveling with Pom after an incident.” With a real mad scientist and killer robots was what I left unsaid. “Sorry, but I got to take care of something! Here Deepak you talk to Dolly.” Dante passed it to Deepak, my favorite meditation enthusiast and puppy calmer. “Hello there sister, do you realize that the cat you are with is a grievously harmed soul?” Deepak, as perceptive and calm as ever. Not that he didn’t have his off days of ‘listening to the universe’ as he calls it. “If I were to ever meet the people that did that to her, I might actually bite them on the principle of what they’ve done!” “My little brother Deepak likes cats, he’s also part of this ‘Miaow-Wow’ cult thing and is mostly a pacifist.” I informed a curious Mittens. “It’s not a cult Dolly, it is just the teachings of peace, meditation and urk…?!” Deepak started hacking and coughing to eventually spit up a hairball. “Did that dog just spit up a hairball?” Mittens stared blankly. “Yeah, he does that, he’s really into the whole cat cult thing.” I answered coolly, I still had that running bet on Deepak eventually dating a cat. “Anyway, is something the matter? Do I need to get Dylan?” Like all my brothers and sisters, Deepak was just worried about me and I appreciated it. “You’re aura is feeling calmer and surer now, so it’s not an emergency.” “I just called to say that you’ll never guess who we’re traveling with.” I pointed the device Bolt and Pom’s way. “Huh, is that Bolt the Super Dog… his aura is very troubled, it is as if a veil is lifting slowly from his very eyes.” Wow Deepak was batting a thousand on insights today. “I assume you mean to help him in more ways than one?” “Yeah, it’s him and yes. Get this though, he really doesn’t know how to be a dog.” Like I was still in the running for normal since that Super Bark I did back in New York. “It’s somewhat funny to be meeting a celebrity outside the family.” “You’re family has celebrities?” Mittens asked with a slight bit of astonishment. “Ever seen a 'Just Plain Nuts' or 'Jump Jet Pizza' commercial?” I now had Mittens attention. “I have ninety eight brothers and sisters, so I’m not the only weird one in my family.” I got Mittens to start believing magic was a thing, after Dormarch showed her a recording of my fight with Nimnul. Magic was just slightly outside of regular people’s worldview. Bolt wasn’t a super dog, but he could eventually become one if he was lucky. I think he’d be happier with being able to just be an average dog. “Are you and Pom going to train him?” Good question Mittens, but… “No, but you are.” I made Mittens look like she had been slapped. Normal, to me, was a good chunk of my life. It was a bit overrated, but there was nothing wrong with that. “If you want to help him realize he’s not a ‘super dog’ currently, then you would be the best one to do it since you’re not crazy. It’s already too late for Pom and me to be normal, since we’re both weirdoes in exceedingly odd circumstances.” “I’ll see what I can do.” The unsure Mittens answered. “You’ll help me out with... Bolty... right?” “We’ll keep the both of you alive at least, but yeah.” That’s the best we could really do. “Friends?” “Sure, befriend a skateboarding street dog with a super hero alien partner, well my life has just gone entirely off the deep end.” Oh you don’t even know the half of it Mittens!