//------------------------------// // twenty. she. no ka oi. // Story: he. she. we. // by Shinzakura //------------------------------// In the Honolulu Convention Center, the flags above fly in the breeze of the climate control, evidence of a dozen nations that are represented here to fight. The music booms and the OLED lights flicker in a syncopated dance, and the audience shouts in delight in several tongues. It feels like the world is watching – and given that in more than a few cases, this is being broad- or narrowcasted, to some degree, it is. I will miss this world. This has been my battleground, my temple, my sanctum – my world. This is where I have been goddess and princess, ruling with both iron fist and righteous rule, dispensing virtual justice as necessary, inspiring others, and having my name called out by adorants of all shapes and sizes. In the corner of my eye, I can see North. He’s my strength, my serenity, the reason I am what I am now. To think that I, a literal alien goddess from another dimension, would find such bliss and happiness with a normal human man. He’s far more than I will ever be, and I have no qualms about admitting that to anyone. I mean, even other girls apparently seem to agree, though I know at the end of the day, my honey only has eyes for me. “And now the moment you’ve been waiting for: the Grand Finale of the tournament! In the red corner, representing Team IW Arena Acid – Dreamerbaby!” I watch as my opponent runs down the ramp she’s been given. She represents Infernoware, a Hong Kong-based company that’s been putting out a lot of new peripherals as of late. Their company-owned team, Arena Acid, has been pretty shameless about trying to woo top players away by paying them quite a bundle; they even propositioned Brenda, but she opted to stay with the Vixens. I don’t know about the quality of their gear, as I’ve never used it, but I’ve heard mixed things about it. Besides, between my contract with Mythware, I don’t use anything but their stuff and I like their gear in any case. About my opponent, however, I have heard plenty of things about. Mingming Fei, goes by the handle Dreamerbaby. Born in China, raised in San Jose. Holds dual US and Chinese citizenship, but per interviews, considers herself completely American. Even though she’s only 19, she’s got an impressive win-streak. Unlike most gamers, she tends to be an all-arounder like me. “And in the blue corner, representing the Vector Vixens – Nightmare Moon!” I walk down my ramp, looking at those who have paid attention to me this past year, doing as I always do, shaking hands, giving high-fives and fistbumping everyone I can down the line. These people have paid attention to me for the past year, and I owe them so much for my career. I have my “show magic” going on, that little glistening, my “reptilian contacts” and my trademark leather jacket on and giving all of them smiles as I move past. Hard to believe that I’ve only been at this a year and now I’m retiring. It makes me melancholy about it all, but as a human – or at least pretending to be – I live on borrowed time. At “twenty-five”, I’m “old” and while I’m constantly mentally putting quotation marks around just about every part of my life, it’s at least my life. Not Luna’s, not Celestia’s, not even the old Nightmare Moon. None of them would understand this and none of them would care about it like I do. As we reach the center stage, I look at the brand new ALLS HX2 unit that’s laid out before both of us. Above are the screens that will be presenting the climactic battle between the two of us. And this will be a battle, certainly; I rarely play Under Night In-Birth Exe:Late [st], but this is a mainstay game for her. As we reach the stage, both of us look at one another. I offer my hand to her. “Best of luck to you.” In turn, she gives me a soft smile and says in a soft voice, “I suppose I will need some of that luck, your highness.” I keep the smile on my face, but it’s her words that catch my immediate attention. I silently cast a spell and I can immediately see the slight flicker of green magic that envelopes her like a translucent shell. She’s a changeling and strong enough that she can use magic. She doesn’t seem to be casting any now, so I doubt she’s cheated her way to the top. Besides, HIVE would definitely take a jaundiced eye towards that kind of behavior. Well, with the word from the judges, I take my seat at the console and prepare to do what I do best, even if for the final time. I am a goddess. I will miss my temple. Thirty minutes later, it’s done and I can’t help but feel a pang of pain at what I’ve lost. I barely pay attention to the cheering crowds, who have welcomed my victory…but it’s my last one. After this, it’s over. I’ll be just a business owner and retired gaming girl. But as I said earlier, this is my life – no other alicorn’s. Dreamerbaby comes over and offers her hand again. “That is some impressive stick moving!” she says, and I can’t detect any trace of subtext. With changelings, even the Earth ones, there almost always is. I blame Molloy for making me look at things that way. “Thanks,” I reply, taking her hand and shaking, then putting my arm around her as we wave to the crowds. She’s going to be the future of this, and I represent the fading past, so may as well give a boost to the next generation, right? I mentally roll my eyes. Even if I was the age I’m supposed to be, there’s only a six-year difference, and yet I’m old hat. Sexist, yeah, but that’s a lot of things on this Earth – institutionalized things that they just naturally didn’t shift over to as well as they could. I doubt anyone’s at fault, really, just the institutionalization of something creeping in and by the time anyone really thinks of it, it’s calcified. The same thing happened back in Equestria before my time between the tribes and I have to wonder if any of it even still exists nowadays. Eh, not my problem. “I’ve been asked to deliver a message,” Dreamerbaby tells me in a soft voice. “9PM tonight, the Hoku Lounge.” I smile and nod just enough so that she gets that I caught the message, though it would be impossible for me to miss at this point. I mentally send a message to North because I figured he’d already made plans and I would hate for him to have to give them up…which I already know we’re going to have to do. The moon is high over the sky as we reach our destination, one of Honolulu’s poshest restaurants on the corner of River and Beretania. On the street, there’s a bronze plaque commemorating the Oka Fong Building, the original structure that used to be here before a tragic fire took place a few years back. In any case, the site has been renovated and from what North apparently looked up, the Hoku Lounge has been practically credited with the “renaissance of Honolulu’s Chinatown”, having received plaudits from the mayor. Reportedly, the restaurant is also a favorite dining location of the governor as well if the Star-Advertiser is to be believed. In any case, we’re currently dressed to impress and, if nothing else, enjoying a night out on my victory. I suspect that North has something else in mind, and I can’t help but wonder what it is. “You look good tonight,” he tells me. He’s dressed casually, blazer, buttoned shirt and slacks, probably way too formal for Honolulu if I recall the airline magazine I read on the way over, but it’s the Hoku, so…. “What, I don’t look good normally?” I tease. I’m wearing a nice little black dress that I genned up on the suggestion of others. I know I look fantastic right now and I poured magic into all it was worth for it. And if the looks I got while we got here are any indication, mission accomplished. Granted, I only want one guy to look at me like that, but a girl likes to be appreciated. “Do I need to answer that?” he tells me. I simply squeeze his arm in reply. Have I mentioned how much I love him? As we arrive at the door, this guy about the size of a small building steps out of our way and opens the door for us. For starters, he’s not dressed like the restaurant staff here. Secondly, I’ve seen Arturia and Pumpkin’s gun bulges enough times to recognize one when I see one. HIVE security? They’re clearly taking this seriously – is the leader of HIVE that much of a concern? “Reminds me of a luncheon I got invited to for retired Secret Service officers,” North admits as he walked past. “It was an article I did for GQ and most of it was just old guys bragging, but yeah, they carried their pieces and looked like brick walls even for their age, so I get what you’re thinking.” We walk right up to the front desk and immediately it’s clear that this was all planned. “Right this way, if you please, Your Highness, Sir North,” a cute local girl says to us, ushering us in a particular direction. A quick look with my magic indicates that she’s completely human, but given that she knew who we were, either meant that someone had told her, or she was tied to HIVE somehow. At last, after being ushered through a tasteful display of lush indoor plants, various Japanese-style umbrellas of various colors and dark-stained wood, we arrived at our destination, a private room. It likely wasn’t necessary, given that the whole of the restaurant was empty, but clandestine organizations don’t remain clandestine if they don’t act like it. So as we stepped into the private room, the two guards carrying the metal wands to search for listening devices looked at us briefly before a third person whispered in their ear and the two backed off. Guess they weren’t informed as to who I was. “Welcome, Your Highness. And Sir North. It is a distinct pleasure having the two of you meet me here.” I look at the person seated across the table from me. She looks…well, let’s just say that if my looks were closer to my actual age, I would hope to look that good. She’s ballpark in her seventies, but with a minimum of wrinkles and only a few strands of gray in her brunette hair. Her smile is infectious and from the way she carries herself, she seems more like a den mother than the leader of a global conspiracy. But hey, I’m sure there’s probably weirder things in this world, even more bizarre than me. She offered her hand. “Dr. Sarah Goodspeed. Director of the Hampstead Institute, as well as…well, I’m quite sure you know the second part, my lady and lord.” She got up to curtsy, but I wave it off; she’s older than me – well, physically, anyway – and I’m no longer really interested in standing on ceremony. Instead, I offer my hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Goodspeed.” She takes it and her hand feels oddly colder than the average human’s. Is it because of her age, or the air conditioning? “Sarah, if you please. I’m not hung up on my title, Princess.” “Please, call me Moon, if you would, then – it’s the name I use here on Earth. “And please, call me North,” he says in turn. And then, like clockwork, his journalist instincts kick in – I can practically see it in his eyes by now. “And I’m somewhat familiar with your work, Sarah – aren’t you one of the foremost lepidopterists in the world?” Despite her age, she’s blushing. North’s charm strikes again. “You flatter this old lady, North. It’s a shame that I’m not a few decades younger, or perhaps….” She flashed a smile and left it at that; apparently North’s not the only one pouring on the charm here. “Well, perhaps I could trouble you for an interview for my website later?” he asks. “I’d be delighted. In between my time working with the Institute and HIVE, I’ve been peer reviewing this delightful little monograph on the extended ranges of some fluttershy species. Perhaps I can elucidate on that for your readers?” It’s when I hear that word that it hits me: while I’m no expert on rhopalocerids myself, I do know enough that here on Earth, it’s only a myth that butterflies used to be called flutterbys. But in Equestria, they are; in fact, the non-magical ones are called flutterbys and the magical ones are called fluttershies; it’s only when referring to them as a whole group do we call them butterflies. And then I realize that even though I wasn’t back in Equestria for that long, Sarah, as far as I can tell, isn’t speaking a dialect of English that I’m familiar with. Or rather, she’s not speaking a dialect of English that, as far as I know, is native to this world. I’ll bet my horns and wings that her accent, her use of some words, and such…she’s not speaking English at all – she’s speaking Equish. Granted, by some cosmic coincidence that I’m not privy to, both English and Equish are practically the same, with some obvious changes to certain words here and there. But if I’m right and she’s speaking Equish, then…. As if I’d figured out some grand mystery, the woman gives me a smile. “Unlike the rest of the Earthborn, I am a true-blooded changeling, Princess,” she tells me. “I was caught in a dimensional rift some sixty-odd years ago as a drone in Manchester, England; by absolute luck I ended up in the home of a then-senior member of HIVE. Realizing what I was, they immediately helped me acclimate to this world, gave me a new identity and in turn I started to work with them because of the concern they had about Throwbacks – while I am still technically just a drone, I have had enough experience with magic that I’ve been able to deal with some issues. Eventually, I rose to become the leader of both the Institute and HIVE, because even though I was not born human, I feel as if I am a part of them now. It has been, all in all, a good life.” She smiled wistfully. “But I must admit: I never thought I would see another soul from our world again and I certainly never thought it would be one of the alicorns.” “Then you know….” “I know the legends of the Earthborn are incorrect? Yes, I do, but alas, it’s hard to change centuries of ingrained belief, combined with the fact that we have no proof that anything other than changelings have come along. I guess either it was luck of the draw, or your sister has less control over preventing rifts than we expected.” I say nothing; I’m long over my issues with Celestia, I lie to myself, but that’s not what’s the deal here. “Well, in any case, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, though I doubt you wanted to meet me just to set up an interview with my boyfriend.” “I’m afraid you’re absolutely correct, Moon. I wished to meet you to discuss certain matters as quickly as possible. I don’t have much time left, and once I was notified of your existence, I felt it paramount to speak with you before it was too late.” I didn’t like those words, as calmly as they were said. “Forgive me, Sarah, but you look as healthy as could be. So why would you say you don’t have much time left?” “I have lived as a human being for all these years, with the sparse magic of this world and without the benefit of biology to fall back on. Thus, I have had a generally shorter lifespan than the Earthborn. So, it would be natural that I wouldn’t live as long. But a couple of years ago, I had a medical checkup and…well, the prognosis isn’t good.” She paused before saying, “I’ve been afflicted with the Black Death, I’m afraid.” I know what that is, but before I can say anything, North interjects. “Bubonic plague? But even at your age, it shouldn’t be an issue – there’s a vaccine for it.” “Oh, my dear boy, perhaps that is for humans, but the Black Death I am referring to is the same one that affects butterflies on this world – it is part of the reason I study them. It is caused by a virus known as the nuclear polyhedrosis virus and in butterflies, it desiccates them and turns them into black mummified shells of themselves, hence the name. In changelings such as myself, however, it causes a reaction very much like cancer, and equally as incurable. Thankfully, the grand majority of the Earthborn are immune, though on occasion those with magical abilities will be afflicted.” “How long do you have left?” I ask. I already hate broaching the subject, but if it is serious enough to warrant her wanting to speak with me, then I must treat it with the severity it is due. “Perhaps a year at most; I suspect more like months – truth be told, the reason I look so healthy is just the sheer amount of healing magic being used on me for my sake, but as you know even magic cannot overcome time or inevitability. You know, I worry about my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren – it wasn’t that long ago that my husband passed and now they must worry about me as well. But that is nothing you should worry about, Moon. Instead, please hear my request.” A few minutes later, after she’s finished, I’m at a loss for words and I don’t know how to respond. So I say nothing, instead deciding to just focus on small talk and enjoying dinner. But the meal, widely considered to be the best in Hawaii, tastes like ash in my mouth and the pineapple wine, a delicacy made on Maui, feels like sandpaper. I don’t know what to say at all. I bet Celestia would know, and the thought galls me. I thought I’d gotten over that. Hours go by and while I can’t say I didn’t have a fun time, I can’t also say that I did. The discussion with Sarah was pleasant and friendly and maybe in another time, we could have been close friends. But unfortunately, as the hours wore down and her own age caught up to her, her great-granddaughter – who turned out to be none other than Dreamerbaby – came to escort her back to the guest villa they’d rented for her out by Diamond Head. Fei asks us to consider what Sarah has asked and while I demure the answer, I know that North is already thinking about it. And with that, we thank everyone for the pleasant night and decide to head back to our hotel. Instead, we opt to park out by the natatorium and take a walk on San Souci Beach. The moon above is glistening like a pearl and the waters out in the distance lap gently against the shore, creating a simple and pleasant murmur that would be hypnotic under different circumstances. “You’re quiet tonight,” I hear North tell me. “What, I thought I was pretty talkative, all things considered.” “Maybe to someone who doesn’t know you as well as I do, sure, but it’s not so much as what you said so much as how you said it.” I smirk; he has me so figured out by now, doesn’t he? “Oh, so you can comprehend the fathomless mind of a goddess?” “No, but I know my girlfriend’s habits well enough.” Touché. “What do you want me to say, North? You heard what she said! What she asked!” “I know. And it’s not like you to be so worried about it.” “Because I’m not Nightmare Moon!” I cry. “Or Princess Luna or any kind of princess at all! I’m just me! And I’m still trying to figure out who I am. I’m not ready for this.” I feel like I’m going to break apart. “I was so deluded when I thought I was Nightmare Moon, so…responsible, so ready to take on Celestia and usurp her throne. But now? No. A million times no.” “Moon, they need you.” “They don’t need me. They need….” I sigh; there’s no way I can deny this, especially not around North. “They need a leader, not me. They want Princess Luna. Maybe they’d even accept Nightmare Moon. But I’m neither. And now they want to swear fealty to me?” “It’s just a chair, Moon.” “No, it’s not! You saw how they deferred to Sarah – they treated her like an empress, or a high queen or…I’m not even sure what the term is, because I’m not a changeling. And now Sarah is asking me to become the leader of HIVE! To become the Earthborn changelings’ queen! I’m not a queen!” “Well, I’ve always thought of you as my queen, if that helps.” “Not helping.” I sit down on the sand, letting the waves lap over my feet; he takes off his shoes and quickly joins me. In theory we’re probably ruining some decent clothing, but I can always fix that with magic. Fixing this, however, is going to take a lot of work. And I mean a lot of work. I mean, seriously. How did I ever delude myself into thinking I was some kind of mare who could do everything? Yes, I have divine powers, but I don’t have a divine origin. And I don’t consider myself Nightmare Moon anymore – I’ve grown out of that fantasy. So what gives me the right to make the decision for forty million people on this world? The number is astounding: forty million known individuals of changeling ancestry – and those are just the known ones. I remember seeing on Reddit once that one out of every seven people on this planet is a descendant of an ancient warlord known as Ghengis Khan. Aside from thinking about how that came about, the numbers of “Earthborn”, as Sarah called them, are still staggering: forty million is the approximate population of California. Practically its own nation as far as, well, everything is concerned. I don’t know how big Equestria’s population is right now, but I’m willing to bet, given what I recall of pony natures, that it’s probably waaaaaaay smaller than forty million. Hell, there are eight billion humans alone on Earth – that would probably make Celestia’s brain fry just thinking about it. I know it’s made me think twice! For the first time in a while, I feel like the world is crushing me. I used to be so brave, so sure that I could handle something like this – all I had to do was defeat Celestia and Everything Would Be Perfectly Fine™. I was such a deluded filly back then, and while I can probably run something like my own company or the Vector Vixens, a fucking nation’s worth of people? I can feel North’s fingers on my chin as he raises my head to look at him eye to eye. “Moon, everything’s going to be okay. Even if you say no, it’s not like our life is going to change. But I see what Sarah’s getting at. HIVE was created because they were afraid that monsters would come from their line and that humanity would turn against them. She’s not human, but they chose her because of that very reason – she understands what it’s like to not completely fit in on Earth and to help those who would go through the same issues. And now she’s looking at you because you understand it more than anyone else.” “But I don’t understand.” “I think you do. I remember a haughty, vainglorious alien that came to my house, who quickly turned into a shy and afraid mare. Who worked her way towards comprehending her new home and forging a new life for herself, free from the shackles of the past, until she found a new way of life, one that was hers.” I feel the touch of his lips on mine and I can’t help but respond. We trade loving blows for a few seconds before he reluctantly pulls away and adds, “This isn’t something that Nightmare Moon or Princess Luna can do. This is something that only Selene DeLune can do.” I look at the moon once more, imagining it in my mind as the one I remember from Luna’s time before she became afflicted. It was so barren, so empty and void, just a gray work with a few craters and none of the dark regolith seas that mark Earth’s own Luna. A blank slate, just like I was. And I took that blank slate and made my own life.” I laugh slightly. “Okay. I’ll do it. I don’t know if I can be what they want me to be, but I know I don’t want to be something someone else has in mind.” I love North for everything he’s done, even things like this, when he knows me better than I do myself. I don’t think I could have made it on this world without him and I hope our lives never change. “Well,” he says with a grin, “What if I have something in mind myself?” “Oh? Like what, me becoming queen of the changelings and you becoming my prince consort? I don’t think I’d mind that. Of course, we’d need to be married, technicalities and the like.” “I think I can fix that.” And suddenly he gets in front of me and kneels before me like a knight of old promising himself to his liege. But it’s the next thing he does, producing a small box from his pocket, that catches my attention – and perhaps not so much the box, as what’s inside it. And then he utters the words I have both wanted him to say and that I never thought anyone – or anypony, really – would ever utter to me. Words that perhaps Celestia has heard – she does have that daughter of hers, after all – and ones I know Luna will never hear, as she’s too shy and retiring a mare to ever chase her dreams and gain a stallion worthy of her. I know I have – I’ve found mine. And as he slides the ring onto my finger and I say yes, I know at this point in my life, whatever that life is, this is a more worthwhile thing than any conquest that Nightmare Moon could have had, than any jealous dream Luna held. That this is my own to cherish and hold forever. I already knew I had no plans to go back to Equestria ever again, but this, strangely enough, seals the deal. I’m no longer an alicorn who can become human as needed. At this point, I’m a human that used to be an alicorn. And moreso, a woman – or mare, or whatever – that has the love of the greatest guy in the world, a treasure more priceless than the Elements of Harmony or the Scepter of the Skies or anything that sits in the dusty vaults of the palace that Celestia and Luna reside in. Ladies, that’s your treasure and you can keep that shit. My treasure is the man I’m going to spend forever with.