There's no help coming.
"We're not starting a brothel."
"I wasn't going to suggest that!" Dan protested. "We're not THAT desperate, I mean, c'mon!" He quickly drew lines through something a notepad. "Anyone else got any ideas?"
The Golden Oakes' kitchen was once again being wracked by a brainstorming session. They would've used the living room but they didn't have the benefit of a table and stuff to write on. Also, Dan tended to get bored and watch t.v., which he considered crucial to the idea-making process... whenever he didn't like what everyone was suggesting.
"You know, I've been looking it over," Phoenix said, "and it appears that technically, prostitution ISN'T illegal in Equestria."
"Nicky, Twilight already shot down the brothel idea. Why would you suggest it again?!"
The lawyer held his hands up defensively. "I-I'm just saying it's not technically illegal."
Dan shook his head. "You are a sad, desperate, poor excuse for a human being sometimes, Nicky."
"OBJECTION! YOU brought it up first, Dan!"
"And I am a sad, desperate, poor excuse for a human being MOST of the time, Nicky."
Chrys raised her hoof. "What's a brothel?" she asked. And her answer came in the form of Spike, who immediately leaned over and whispered an answer. "Ohh. Ohhhhhhhhhhh."
"The princesses have been talking," Twilight said. "Our only solution may be to create a new value standard for Equestria. Instead of having gems and bits, we might have to use notes exclusively. Or some sort of credit system." She sighed heavily. "And to implement it successfully, we'll have to start small with tests in small communities, then gradually learn and build up from there. Until we can implement something at the national level that works."
Phoenix patted her on the back. "It's practical, at least. We'll be able to fine-tune things as we go and figure out what's best for everypony." (Why do I get the feeling this idea would get shot down on Earth?)
Twilight sighed again, nearly letting her head hit the table. "It's going to take months at least. Maybe years. And the Crystal Empire doesn't have that kind of time."
Chrys patted her back, too. "We can't change the past, Twilight. We'll help the crystal ponies. And your brother and Cadence. You know we will."
"Cadence is pregnant."
Silence followed. Twilight continued.
"My niece or nephew. Maybe more than one. Born into this... this version of Equestria that seems so broken. It just... makes me so depressed."
Another silence was about to follow, but Dan wasn't having it.
"Hey, no. We are going to solve this problem way before your sister-in-law is due. Wait, how long is pony pregnancy here?"
"Nine months."
"Nine months, plenty of time! Umm, she's not due soon is she?"
Twilight sighed heavily and her head drooped to the table. Dan grabbed her by the cheeks, refusing to let her sink into depression figuratively or otherwise.
"No no no no! Stop that. We're going to fix this. I did say I would, didn't I?"
"Yessh." Muffled, squished pony cheeks.
"Exactly. They're kid's going to grow up to be a dweeb in the RIGHT Equestria. This one, right here, fixed and flowing with cash and stuff. Everything'll be fine."
"You don't know the baby's going to be a dweeb, Dan," Spike chastised.
"The parents are both dorks, draggo, it's gonna happen. It's fate."
"Aren't we all nerds here?" Chrys asked.
Dan patted her on the head. "Yes, but you don't have to go announcing it. Does my shirt say "nerd" on it?"
"...It does not."
"UGGGH!" Twilight groaned and slammed her hooves on the table. "Everything is just... just... this all sucks! This all sucks, okay? I said it, it sucks. This situation, everything that's been happening with the kingdom, it all sucks. It sucks! It sucks and there's not even a single person to blame to put our focus on! GRRRUUHHGGH!"
"Calm. Down," Dan said. "And this is coming from me. Yeah, this is bad. But beating up the table is not going to help anything. I know, I need to vent sometimes, too. You want a bag of ice?"
"No... I want things to go back to the way they were. Would it be wrong to just beg the griffons for our money back?" Twilight asked.
"Probably wouldn't hurt," Phoenix said. "I can grovel pretty well in a tight situation."
Chrys rubbed her chin. "I don't think I've ever actually groveled before."
"Would you like some pointers?'
"THIS ISN'T HELPING. YOU DUMB DORKS. WHOM I LOVE," Dan said. He stood up at the table, braced against it... and ideas still did not come. His anger was becoming a block between him and new ideas. He kept going back to stabbing the griffons in his mind or blowing them up, cutting the city's foundations and letting it fall into the sea.
The Griffon Kingdom and specifically Lavertica, the capital, still held all the advantages. And they were growing, building on those advantages all the time. Their own Magic Gear meant that they could repel assaults from even the most formidable of pony weapons. Sure, the princesses could use their magic to destroy Lavertica, but it might destroy the planet in the process if they weren't careful. Many believed the planet was still in a fragile state after reforming.
And while Dan and friends had lost their security system, the griffons had purchased a considerable amount of security. Breaking in and stealing back their treasures was an increasingly dangerous proposition.
Dan's fists balled as he stood at the table. It began shaking the table top as he shook with rage. They all noticed it right away, the anger in Dan building up again. There was nothing he could direct it at easily.
"Do you need a bag of ice, Dan?" Spike asked.
Dan shook his head sharply. Slowly, his fists unballed and he stopped shaking. "I... I'm... I'm gonna go take a break. Break time."
"Not a bad idea," Phoenix said.
"Yeah, let's all just take a break. Sounds like a plan to me," Chrys said.
"At least one good idea came out of this," Twilight added. It wasn't her fault she was being so negative; not entirely, and they all knew it. Her connection to dark magic meant it was easier for negativity in general to be fed. Not necessarily good or evil, just another part of the natural world more accessible through magic. It was all about making connections and the energy created between them. Negative connections were still new to Twilight.
The gang moved into the living room to watch t.v. Kent was sitting in the spare recliner again, reading. Again.
"Are you planning on doing anything helpful?" Dan asked the armored space ninja. "You just going to mope around and pretend you're not Silver the Hedgehog with laser swords in Iron Man's armor."
"I thought guarding your life was helpful," Kent said. He didn't look up from the newspaper.
Dan pulled it down. "I mean helpful like with the financial crisis gripping the kingdom? We can't last like this."
"With proper resource management and consolidation, you can last quite a while. I'm tasked with protecting you, not your money or your property."
"BUT WHYYYYYYY? My money and my property are important!" Dan moaned. "You found out the griffons had it in the first place! So why even bother telling us where all our cash was if you're not going to do anything about it?"
"I..." Kent paused. "I had other matters to look into. The timing happened to be in my favor."
Eyes narrowed, Dan was now even more suspicious. "What exactly are you looking for here? Also, is it worth money?"
"No, it's- dammit." Dan had at least gotten the stranger to admit he was interested in something.
Dan had been strangely accepting of the mysterious swordsman from the stars calling himself Kentan. Despite knowing little about him, not even what he looked like underneath his armor, Dan appeared to like him right off the bat. In actuality, the reason for this was quite simple; Dan viewed him as the moody-but-tough character usually added to the fourth act of a story that has a personal grudge against the villain. Kent was certainly grouchy and violent enough to fit that bill, and the others gradually accepted that as well.
But he still had his mysteries... and his own personal agenda. That was something Dan needed to know more about.
"Whatcha lookin' for here, Kenty?"
Kent sighed. "Something very dangerous. A small orb with the power to... well, it would destroy this planet beyond your ability to repair it, potentially. It was a weapon developed a long time ago. We thought it was in the possession of someone equally if not more dangerous, but it's apparently somewhere on Equestria now."
"Small orb, huh? Pretty basic for a MacGuffin I guess. Hey," Dan rubbed his chin, "Twilight, didn't we-"
"Come in here to watch t.v.? Yeah, we did. I'll get it," she said, flopping onto the couch. Remote in her magical grip, she turned on the t.v. If there was one thing that could distract Dan, it was t.v.
"-increase in pie sales, despite the recent uptick in gang-related incidents. The mayor's office has not yet responded to this station's request for a comment."
"You ever notice we always turn the t.v. on when there's something important to watch?" Chrys asked.
"Nah," the rest of the gang went.
"It's not even important. Gang violence in Manehattan isn't news. It isn't really violent, either," Dan said.
Gang-violence in Equestria, and pretty much all street crime for that matter involved pies being thrown. It pleased Dan to have something so familiar to Los Angeles that was also completely devoid of harm and damages. Even gang symbols and graffiti were actually artistic and cute, because ponies. Fluffle Puff briefly ran with weeaboo pony gang, but quit shortly before meeting Chrys. Grove Squee 4 Lyfe.
The news program ended, and afterward was a slew of commercials.
"I remember seeing this ad last year," Phoenix said.
"Greetings from fabulous Las Pegasus! Your number-one destination for excitement in Equestria!"
"Ehhhrgg," Dan groaned. "OLD commercials are even worse than... current commercials." Equestrian broadcasting was running reruns of old shows and commercials to keep morale up. No new shows were being made, but they had plenty of reruns, thankfully. The only show being produced was my news broadcast, which for some reason, was also considered important for keeping morale up. Go figure.
"Well, at least it's something to watch," Twilight said, suppressing the slight nervousness she felt. "My family talked about taking a trip to Las Pegasus for my dad's birthday."
"A trip to Las Pegasus means fun for the whole family! Entertainment you won't find anywhere else, food, games and chances to win big!"
"Win...?" Phoenix said. He rubbed his chin. (I wonder if the casinos are still operating. Probably not with the lack of money the country's facing. Hmm...) His eyes narrowed, deep in thought. An idea was forming.
"Las Vegas, Las Venturas, it's all the same. Just a big city full of lights and gambling to lure suckers in to waste money. Which we don't even have," Dan said, putting his feet up.
"So come to Las Pegasus- we'll have you feeling lucky in no time!" *All gambling is subject to the Equestrian Royal Chamber of Commerce. Please play responsibly.*
"Too bad there's not a way we could win the kingdom's treasury back," Chrys said.
"Yeah," they all went.
"Nobody ever wins at those things anyway. It's all a scam," Dan said.
"Yeah," they all went again.
"And it's easy to get addicted to that kind of thing, too. Gambling preys on the greedy and desperate and those with a lot to lose. The house always wins for a reason," Phoenix said
"Yeah," they all said a third time. And then, they all collectively stopped. Their eyes went wide, and they slowly turned to each other.
And then, Gust entered the library. "Whassup, bros? Was just in the neighborhood and I thought y'all might wanna play some cards. Who's up for a game?"
Dan immediately got up from the couch. "Chicken sandwich, get all the griffons. And get all the cards you possibly can. All of them. If you can't find more, make more. And dice. Lots and lots of dice. And tables."
"Uhhh okay? Are you planning on some kinda big game or something?"
"Biggest you've ever bucking seen."