//------------------------------// // Tricks, Trips and Tough Luck // Story: Wild Card // by Barrel-of-fun //------------------------------// Edited by: PieisGood4U BlazinBlade7 dialgex fireshadow11 ---------- Getting onto the roof of White Tail’s town hall was actually preposterously easy, it was rather disappointing actually. To be fair to the ponies' security though, I bet they never even considered that someone would climb the outside of the building. When two thirds of your population are entirely earthbound and the others all have wings designing to prevent climbing is rather redundant. Thus the complete lack of anti-climb paint, combined with the abundance of handholds, makes this the easiest building I’ve ever had to scale. A prestigious position previously occupied by the Palace Theatre in London, whose antiquated design and meagre security made it a rather appealing target for thieves. Not that I’ve ever robbed the place, I have way too much respect for the theatre to do that. I just snuck in a few times when I was younger and watched some free shows, though I’ve donated ten times the cost of the tickets I should have paid for later in life. I still remember Les Misérables, that was the first show that ever made me cry. Right, enough reminiscing, back to the task at hand. I was currently lying down flat on the roof, observing the crowds of ponies below me. They milled about, each one going about their business. It was rather beautiful to watch from above, the myriad of colours moving about independently, like a living picture. Each colour could be used to represent an emotion and thus, the crowd of moving ponies becomes a metaphor for life. The blue of depression moving alongside the fiery red of passion. Pink love intertwining through them all accompanied by green jealousy. Yeah, I’ve broken into a few art galleries before. You pick up this stuff eventually. I suppose there are enough ponies below that I can begin my distraction, Velvet would be sure to notice such a large collection of ponies reacting to something. I can only hope that Steel and Zende are doing what I told them to, now would be a horrible time for them not to trust me. Though I realise that I haven't given them much reason to trust me. Oh well, let’s just hope they go with it. I shuffled back from the edge of the roof and reached into my pouches, looking for the right materials to make a grand entrance with. Once my effects were fully prepared I began. ---------- To the ponies below it must have looked like quite an unusual sight. An explosion of smoke appeared from the roof of the town hall, followed by a deep, menacing laugh. All eyes swung to the scene, many of them filled with fear and under the belief that some new terror had surfaced to threaten them. Then a voice loudly proclaimed: “Behold! I am the Amazing Ace, Magician Extraordinaire! And I am here to rock your world!” The smoke dissipated to reveal a bipedal figure, arms spread wide as if accepting great applause. Its eyes were closed and its head bowed, almost like it was asleep on its feet. Suddenly, it looked up and its eyes snapped open, mouth spitting to reveal a wide, gleeful grin. One hand was raised to this grin and left open, leaving the sparkling substance that had been concealed within exposed. The magician took a deep breath and blew onto the dust, sending it flying out above the heads of the crowd. The dust seemed to dance in the sunlight, catching rays and making patterns that astounded the ponies below. Later, each pony would claim that they saw something different reflected in the seemingly magical dust. A beautiful face, their cutie mark, an Ursa Major. Each pony saw something different but was unable to properly express their wonderment. Instead they simply ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ in fascination. Then the show began in earnest. ---------- As I looked down upon the mesmerised ponies below I couldn’t help but feel a hint of pride swell in my heart. Here was a race that actually had magic. Real, controllable Merlin-esque magic. Yet I could still amuse and entertain them with something as simple as floating glitter. I am really good at this. I decided to kick it up a notch and show off some of acrobatics. A lot of these tricks had been with me for most of my life and were like old friends to me. Backflips came to me as natural as breathing did to normal people. Walking on my hands was like, well, walking on my hooves I had been doing it for so long. Moonwalking on my hands was... Slightly more difficult I’ll admit. I kept it up though. Cartwheeling from one side of my makeshift stage to the other before leaping into the air, flipping once, and landing upright with my arms stretched out beside me. I sprang and rolled in a display of acrobatic ability that was rarely witnessed among pony-kind. I finished off the acrobatics portion of the act with one of my favorite, and most difficult, tricks. I began to slowly lean backwards, the crowd below watching in some confusion and curiosity as my weight began to cause me to seemingly fall. I have never done this trick with hooves so I’m not entirely sure how well this is going to go. My right side was facing towards the crowd, concealing the actions that my left leg was taking. I had hooked my left hoof onto a small outcropping in the roof and, unseen to the ponies below, I was straining with all my might to keep myself from falling backwards into a humiliated heap. I had leaned quite far now, my back was almost parallel to the floor and my knees were at a right angle. The crowd below were gasping at my display of physics defiance, even though many of them regularly broke the laws of the universe on a daily basis. This was different though, this was a show! If someone does something amazing everyday then it becomes commonplace, but if you make a spectacle of it, well, then everyone wants a piece. My left leg felt like it was on fire with all the strain going through it. It was probably only thanks to these stronger legs that that trick had been possible at all. Usually I would have far more time to prepare and would have various gimmicks to make it easier, a weighted shoe or a supporting frame inside my clothes. I hid my pain from my audience behind a practised showman's smile, even though inside my head I was screaming in agony. I didn’t have time for pain though, it was showtime, the most wonderful of frantic of times. The audience was watching and I couldn’t afford any slip ups. So I launched into the second part of my act with extra gusto. The second part of my act required a couple of seconds of preparation, specifically the lighting of a small wooden brand which I then placed at my hooves. Before the audience had time to contemplate the significance of this torch I had already moved on and withdrew three small balls from my belt and begun to juggle them. Now juggling, on its own, is not an overly impressive feat, though it might be fairly new to a hoofed species. The point of performance juggling is not the act itself but rather the items that can be juggled. The more dangerous the better, swords, chainsaws, live grenades. That last one might be going a bit far though. As soon as the crowd grew accustomed to the act of me juggling three balls I decided to increase the number, pretty soon having six rubber spheres flying through my hands and remaining aloft only through my show of dexterity. My hands flashed back and forth, appearing to be no more than a blur to my observers. It was impressive, no doubt, and had taken me a long time to perfect but this next part was the real kicker. It was also much easier to do with feet but I can improvise. I slammed one hoof down as hard as I could, causing the lit brand to jump into the air slightly. I then hooked my leg under it and kicked it upwards, so that it hung for a second in front of my mouth. A second was all I needed, I quickly exhaled, allowing a portion of the cornstarch hidden inside my mouth to billow out. The moment it struck the brand it ignited, continuing its journey before striking one of the balls that I had caused to hang there for a moment, which also burst into flame. The balls were coated with a very volatile resin that would ignite upon the contact with an open flame. Their purpose, other than being very cool, was to create the illusion of a fireball, which they succeeded at magnificently. The brand began to drop towards the floor as gravity attempted to ruin my act, but I wasn’t about to let that happen. My left leg snapped out, striking the burning wood and sending it flying back up to eye level. I blew out again, repeating the trick, and another sphere was set aflame. The burning ball continued its journey round the circuit, joining its brethren, both flaming and otherwise. Once again the brand fell and once again I kicked it up, repeating the process again. And again. And again. Pretty soon all the orbs were lit and I allowed the brand to fall to the floor again, its job completed. I was now juggling six identical fireballs, each one moving swiftly through my hands. The interesting thing about fire is this: Fire burns...true story. The trick to not being hurt by fire is to not give it time to burn you. If you are quick enough then you can juggle fire without being burned, the real problem is the whole being quick enough part. It also helps to wear fireproof gloves, perhaps skin coloured ones so that your adoring crowd of ponies can’t tell that you are cheating slightly. What? Did you expect me just to say it was magic? I continued to juggle the fireballs, occasionally throwing one behind my back and catching it without looking or dropping one down to be kept up entirely by swift kicks from my hooves. The majority of my concentration was focused on this part of my act, whilst the rest was preparing for the next bit. If any of the ponies had been close enough to me, not to mention familiar with my anatomy, they might have noticed the unusual movements of my throat. I was swallowing as much as possible, clearing out any remaining flammable, yet edible, cornstarch from between my teeth, my tongue flicking back and forth as it hunted the remaining dust. Once I was confident that it had all been removed I began to spit into my mouth, not the prettiest image I know but necessary nonetheless. It was essential that the interior of my mouth was well protected for this next part. Once I was fully prepared, I began. A seemingly casual slap from one hand sent a ball arcing upwards, appearing to be completely out of the control of my hands. The crowd below gasped in fright, terrified that something may have gone wrong and this wonderful performer may have endangered himself. Well this wonderful performer knows exactly what he is doing...most of the time. Stretching my neck slightly, I reached out towards the ball and grabbed it in my mouth, enveloping the flaming sphere within my gob. There was a moment of flashing pain before the flame was suffocated by the lack of oxygen. The moment I was sure the sphere was entirely cooled I spat it out, allowing it to rejoin its kind in the circuit, though it was now the odd one out. Though it wouldn't be so lonely for very long. I dropped one ball down towards my legs before launching it up over my head where it arced majestically, landing perfectly in my mouth. Like its brother it was extinguished before being returned to the jugging. I repeated the display several more times, even growing so bold as to use my unfamiliar tail to whip an orb upwards. Once all the fires were out and they were returned back to the state of just being regular, albeit hotter than regular, rubber spheres I stopped the juggling, catching the balls three to a hand before taking a wide, sweeping bow to my audience. There was silence for a moment. And another moment. Followed by a resounding pounding of hooves as a square full of ponies gave their version of applause. The ground shook beneath their show of adoration and the air was filled with cheers and whoops of joy. I love this part. I drank in their cheers and applause, loving every second of it. Right here, right now, I was the king of the world. Loved. Respected. Adored. I felt overwhelmed by it, intoxicated almost. Shame it always has to end. I waved my arms, beckoning the crowd to quiet down so that I could announce something. For the second time in my act, I spoke. “For my next trick I shall require a volunteer from the audience.” Damn, it really hurt to speak at the moment. You don’t extinguish six fireballs and get away scot free. A plethora of hooves shot into the air at my announcement, followed by some rather undignified pushing and shoving from the ponies as they tried to get noticed. I scanned the crowd carefully, putting one hand to shield my eyes from the sun for added effect. Now, where is she? There! At the edge of the crowd, the only one who didn’t look like she was enjoying the show, was False Runes. All of her hooves were firmly planted on the ground, unlike the other ponies who were waving as many limbs in the air as they could spare. If looks could kill then I would probably have to be buried in a soup can. “How bout you there, little miss? Come on, come on, don’t be shy! Step right up!” Okay, so I may have been using every line in the carnival greeters handbook but it worked. The other ponies immediately turned to stare at her, putting her suddenly in the spotlight. She froze, glancing round as she searched for a way out of it. Then she grinned slyly. “I would just love to, yet I find myself unfortunately earthbound. How am I supposed to get all the way up there?” I matched her grin with one of my own. “Not to worry my dear! Where there’s a will, there’s a way and I have a way. Can I get a couple of big, strong pegasi to help the little lady out?” Two burly winged ponies immediately leapt forwards, their chests puffing out in pride at the chance to help out. They flew over to Runes and grabbed her in their hooves, swiftly bringing her up to me despite her weak protests. “Thank you gents. Now then, my dear, can you guess why I need your help?” “Because you really want to die?” She muttered darkly. “Not quite! I need your opinion on this necklace I acquired early today.” The crowd below watched our conversation with some confusion, unable to pick up on our words. “...You wouldn’t dare.” “Oh, yes I would dare! I would dare to do so most dashingly.” I was pretty happy with that alliteration, though it was nowhere near Twilight levels. My hands once again flashed down to my belt, even as Runes began to react, moving to stop me. Before she had even taken a few steps I had the necklace out and around my neck, the enchantment kicking in almost instantly. The ponies below gasped as I seemed to transform, then began to start at me in unadulterated lust. I feel kind of dirty for doing this now, but it appears to be having the desired effect. Runes had stopped where she was, looking like she was about to bolt but was unable to. I could see the war going on behind her eyes, her desires and her restraint fighting against each other, one trying to prevail over the other. Time to skew the odds in desires favour methinks. Swag mode activated. I sidled over to her, brushing one hand down her muzzle before leaning in close to whisper in her ear, my voice low and husky. “Don’t fight it, my dear. Accept it. Revel in it. Give up and allow me to...ravish you...” The mare trembled, her legs shaking as she desperately tried to fight back against my ministrations. It was no use though, I could see it in her eyes, I almost had her. Just one more small push. I gently lifted my hand from her muzzle, moving it up her head and onto her horn, circling it once before running my hand up its length, idling scraping the sensitive appendage with one nail. That was enough to send her over the edge. A flash of green fire overtook her as she lost control of her disguise, returning to her true horrific form. Cries of horror and fear emitted from the crowd below as the spell was broken, the sight of a Changeling causing them to turn their attention away from me. The Changeling that was leaping at me that is. Velvet slammed into me, easily knocking me backwards and slamming my head into the hard stone of the roof. She stood above me, her form blocking out everything else. She leaned in close, her muzzle only a few inches away from my face. Her breath was disgusting by the way. “Fertilize my eggs!” She demanded, stomping one hoof to emphasize her point. “God, if I had a pound for everytime I’ve heard that line...” Good, I had the quip down to pat, now I just needed to figure out a cunning way to escape from her clutches. I headbutted her in the nose. James Bond eat your heart out. She stumbled back away from me, allowing me to roll backwards and onto my hooves. Velvet was swearing quite skillfully, even I didn’t understand half of what she said and I’ve been in bars in London’s East End. She wants to do what with my tail?! I don’t think that’s physically possible! After a while of swearing, and more horrified screams from the ponies below, she managed to recover her wits and the look in her eyes, well, let’s just say that blow to the face definitely broke the enchantment. There was absolutely nothing resembling love in that stare. ...I didn’t actually plan this far ahead. I assumed that Steel and Zende would be here to help by this part. Damn. “Now before you blast me into ashes, hear me out. I have a perfectly good explanation for everything.” “Go on then.” she purred, like a lioness would to a helpless gazelle, “I’d quite like to hear this one.” “Well, firstly...erm...oh, fuck it all. It’s ‘cus you’re a bitch!” I’ve been told that honesty is the best policy, well whoever said that has clearly never been in this situation. Though if they have been in this situation, then well done to them. It’s quite an odd place to be really. I wonder if they would give me any tips on how to get out of it. Right, rambling again. The prospect of a painful death tends to do that to me. Velvet was charging a spell on her horn, a sickly green flame surrounded the bone protrusion. I barely had time to react before an emerald fireball shot out, heading directly towards my face. In desperation, I raised my hands to fend of the attack, regardless of the ineffectiveness of such an action. I caught the attack in both hands, the sheer force of its movement sending pain screaming up both by arms, my entire body falling backwards. I tumbled over, rolling a couple of times on instinct alone. Somehow my brain was still managing to process thoughts. Thoughts like; why am I not on fire? Oh right! The fireproof gloves, good thing I tried to catch it...though next time I might want to think that through slightly better. It’s a rather depressing thought that I knew there would be a next time. My impromptu acrobatics had brought me to the edge of the building, dangling precariously over the edge. Velvet began to pace forwards, determined to finish me off from my helpless position, whilst ponies below continued to scream in terror. Don’t help or anything! I’m perfectly fine over here. Do ponies ever get tired of being scared of things? It must be the herd instinct thing, their first reaction is to scream and alert the herd. Their second reaction is to run around uselessly, babbling about how bad things are. Despite these massive flaws they are still really really adorable. So I guess all is forgiven. Now, how to escape from this... I could always try letting go. After some consideration, during which Velvet got ever closer to knocking me off the edge, I decided to do so. Let’s get this straight right off the bat. I don’t like falling. Really, I don’t. Despite the frequency which I do fall off of stuff I really don’t like it. Here’s why. Falling, in my profession at least, usually means that something has gone wrong. If you’re doing a high wire act and you end up falling, something has gone wrong. If you’re supposed to be breaking into the business place of a rich oil magnate and you end up falling, something has gone wrong. If you’re heading into town to buy some groceries and you end up falling... Well, then something has gone very wrong. So you might be able to understand why I was having trouble keeping a level head as I fell off the roof of the town hall. A more calm and collected individual might have been able to keep a professional demeanor about the whole thing, perhaps make a joke as they fell. Of course they would have to be as cool as Sean Connery trapped under fifteen feet of ice to do it but I guess anything is possible. As for me, however... I screamed. I’m not proud of it but I feel that, under the circumstances, it’s completely reasonable. I was going to fall three-stories onto a crowd of ponies, many of which had very pointy objects attached to their heads. If I survived that, albeit with some broken bones and in terrible pain, Velvet would swoop in to finish me off with extreme prejudice. So I screamed. Like a little girl. I also flailed my arms about in a rather unheroic fashion more commonly seen among those who are drowning, or on fire. Surprisingly, it was this behaviour that saved my life as my hand managed to grasp the railing of the third floor balcony. It was a bit embarrassing to realise that after all that drama I had only fallen a single story. Still, I’m never going to underestimate the effectiveness of randomly flailing my extremities ever again. I hung there for a moment, blessing my good luck, before swinging myself up and over the railing to land on the balcony. Now what do I do? It’s easy to forget the fact that Changelings have wings, considering they primarily use them to slam themselves into the ground. Nonetheless, they still have them and can thus use them to fly, meaning that it wouldn’t long before she flew down here and found me. I had to find some way to surprise her. It wasn’t long until the buzzing of insectile wings in motion reached my ears as Velvet hovered over the edge to gloat over her kill. However, noticing the distinct lack of blood splattered satyr on the ground below, she flew down to investigate. The moment she came into sight next to my balcony, her back to me as she scanned the town square for any places I might be hiding, I acted. “Surprise, bitch!” I exclaimed as I leapt at her, kicking off of the rail as I flew through the space between us. My target began to turn as my shout reached her ears, causing me to slam into her side and knock her off a stable flight path. “Get off me you idiot!” She cried out as she weaved drunkenly through the air, desperately trying to stay in the air and shake me off. I just clung on even tighter, wrapping both my arms around her barrel. Her legs kicked out at me but, with my current position, she was unable to land a proper blow. In her panic, she had forgotten about her magic, a fact that she seemed to realise as her horn lit up in a corona of green light. “Oh no you don’t! This ride ain’t ending quite yet.” I said, swinging my legs up and lashing out with my right hoof, smashing into her horn with a resounding blow. Velvet screamed out in pain and fury, her magic spluttering and going out as a crack ran up one side of her jagged horn. She began to curse again, promising to send me to a painful death. I held on even tighter, squeezing my eyes shut as I clamped my arms around my enemy. I tried to crush her, putting all my strength into it, but her hardened carapace was barely affected by my attack. I may not have managed to hurt her at all, but I had managed to keep a hold on the equine insect, preventing her from bucking me off to my death. Our position in the air was a rather advantageous one to Velvet, after all she was the one with wings. All she had to do was knock me off and she would be able to claim an easy victory. I believe it is about time to level the playing field slightly. I extended my neck forward as far as possible, opening my jaw as wide as possible as I made my move. Then, with a sickening crunch, I bit down on the wisp-like membrane of the nearest of Velvet’s wings. I fought back the urge to hurl as the disgusting taste of insect wing filled my mouth. I’ve heard in certain countries they eat insects as a delicacy. I wonder if they would be interested in grilled Changeling? ...That was a bit morbid of me. I think all these near death experiences are getting to me. Speaking of near death experiences, it seems the universe has decided that I’m overdue for another one. Velvet had given up on knocking me off and had adopted the default Changeling strategy. Slamming into the ground at high speeds. As a defensive, and offensive, strategy it certainly left a lot to be desired. For one thing it involved using your own body as ammunition and, as I quickly discovered, left you very dazed afterwards. So, when Velvet decided to ram the ground as if she were a rugby player and the earth had just managed to nab the ball, I was suitably worried. Or would it be more appropriate to say that I was pants-crappingly terrified...yeah, I think that is the best phrasing I can come up with. The first thing the Changeling general did was rise slightly, an impressive feat considering I had just bitten off one of her wings, before tipping her head down and letting her wings stop their infernal buzzing. We fell slowly at first, our death dive more of a gentle death glide. Then Velvet’s wings started up again, pushing both her and myself forward at top speed. The force of the sudden boost nearly ripped me away but I held on tenaciously, determining that sticking close to the crazed Changeling was the best way to survive this. I was right as well. As we approached the ground at deadly speed Velvet’s horn lit up again, the corona of light fluctuating wildly around the crack in her horn. A shield of green fire was slowly erected around our plunging forms, its border wavering in an unstable manner. I’m no expert when it comes to the properties of magical shields but that looks a bit shoddy to me. I had no further time to inspect our defence, the ground was approaching too fast. We slammed into the earth with an uproarious ‘Boom’. The force of our descent creating a furrowed crater in the cobbled square, ponies fleeing from the sight of such destruction. I had been protected slightly by the impact but I by no means got away scot free. My head felt like it had been used to announce morning prayer and my legs... I can’t feel my legs. Why can’t I feel my legs? I tried to lean forwards, to look up and check that they were still there, but I couldn’t move. The moment I strained myself leaning forward my back erupted in a torrent of red hot pain. Every nerve exploded as I felt my mind overwhelmed and I fell back, panting in exhaustion. My ears, despite the fact that they were ringing with pain, picked up the sound of weak hoofbeats. Oh please let that be a kind, concerned doctor. Preferably carrying tons of morphine. The hoof steps resolved near me and I struggled to turn my head to look at the origin of the sound. I was greeted by holed hooves, black carapace, a jagged horn and some really pissed off eyes. Of bloody course. It was obvious that Velvet hadn’t got off any easier than I had. Actually, she looked considerably worse. Her chitin armour was cracked in places and out of it leaked a green ichor. Her muzzle had been malformed by the impact, looking like it was broken. The worst damage by far was to her horn as the cleft I had put into it had been forced open by her magic usage, leaving the horn with a huge ragged rift in it. “You bastard.” She spat at me. I mean she literally spat at me. “Language...” I said with a tut. “Why won’t you just die?!” “Strange, I was about to ask you the same question.” “Oh, I am going to enjoy this.” With that she stepped over my prone form before raising one hoof, swinging it down to smack me across the jaw. Pain shot into my brain once more. Let me tell you, hooves hurt. A lot. They are heavy, they have sharp edges and they hurt. “You’ve ruined my plans!” She emphasised this point with another hit to my face. “Humiliated me!” Another hit, my nose giving out with a sickening crack. “Damaged my horn!” Another hit, sending blood flying from my mouth. “Bit my bucking wing off!” Another hit, the right side of my jaw broke under the force of the blow. I would scream but I’m not sure that I can anymore. “I’ll...admit...” I managed to cough out “...it’s been...a hell of a day.” I took no small amount of satisfaction in the look on her face. Sort of a cross between blind fury and begrudging respect. Still, I’m pretty sure that her rage will win out in the end, then I’ll get my head crushed like an over ripe watermelon. I wonder if they’ll build me a tombstone, or maybe even a statue. I can see it now: ‘Here lies Ace, he was an idiot and died for it. Bit of a shame.’ Oh well, I’ve lived a fairly good life. Robbed a lot of people, done a lot of crazy shit, broke more than a few hearts. I may have done a few things that could be described as ethically dubious but overall I think I come out very much on top. At least this way I won’t have to watch as my body slowly decays with age. Velvet had managed to figure out that she was angrier than she was impressed and had reared up on her hind legs, ready to deliver the final blow. Her fore hooves were raised above my head, their sharp edges and heavy weight promising a relatively swift death. Just as Velvet was about to strike me there was a brilliant flash of blue-white light, causing me to see dots and filling the air with the stench of burnt ozone. I only know one pony who can make such an awesome entrance. “Hooves off our idiot!” Summer declared, striding through the dust that had been created by our earlier death drop. “Hey Summer...I’d hug you right now but I can’t feel my legs.” I managed, her expression going from concern before quickly shifting to anger. “Don’t think you’re safe yet. After this, we are going to be having words. What in Tartarus were you thinking!?” “Erm...sorry to interrupt but do you think we can save this for later?” A deep voice rumbled as another shape formed out of the dust, eventually coalescing into the colossal form of Iron Will. “Right.” Summer said, turning to look at where she had blasted Velvet. As we waited, Iron and Summer ready to fight off a crazed Changeling and me taking a small rest on the ground due to the fact that my legs aren't working at the moment, we heard some coughing coming out from the fog. A single pony, a light red mare with a curly brown mane, stumbled out of the fog, injuries covering much of her body. “Please...help me...” She gasped. Iron immediately started forward, reaching out to help the poor mare, but was held back as an electric blue light engulfed his torso. He looked at the perpetrator of this crime, who was standing right next to him. Summer’s horn was glowing and her eyes were narrowed as she inspected the injured pony. “What’s your name?” She inquired, her voice full of suspicion. “Er...Cherry...Popper?” A bolt of electricity shot out of Summer’s horn, slamming into the mare before she could react and knocking her back, removing her disguise and revealing her to be General Velvet. “I doubt that.” Summer said with a smirk. “Wretched ponies!” Velvet spat as she clambered back onto her hooves. “Fine then, I’ll just do this the old fashioned way!” Her horn lit up with green flame, Summer’s horn crackling with blue lightning in response. Then began one of the most beautiful and deadly light shows I’ve ever seen. The furious Changeling began to fire her standard bolts of flame at Summer, who didn’t even bother to expend energy blocking them and simply stepped out of the way of the hastily aimed shots. The unicorn then returned fire, small orbs of crackling energy shooting off her horn to rush at the changeling. As the attack approached, Velvet was engulfed in emerald flame, disappearing instantly and reappearing a few feet to the left, safely out of the way of Summer’s barrage. Both magic wielding equines looked at each other, assessing their enemy after that first round of test firing. Velvet was already injured and had used more energy, that fancy teleport trick not doing her any favours. Summer, on the other hand, was fresh into the fight and had used the bare minimum of energy do far. Still, the Changeling General didn’t look that worried by her opposition. “You honestly thing you can match me with your little shock tricks? The rank of General isn’t achieved just by any Changeling, little pony. My power far oustrips yours.” “Maybe so, but you’ll still have to hit me first.” Summer replied, smirking confidently. Summer was the first to strike this time, sending several quick beams of blue light at her opponents legs. Velvet leaped and danced out of the way, clearly annoyed at being forced to dodge the attacks of a lesser being. She responded by charging a large ball of blazing energy on the tip of her horn before releasing it to arc through the air, heading directly for Summer. The mare under fire didn’t seem overly concerned by the giant ball of death heading her way. Instead she simply set her brow and added another layer of light to the glow around her horn. In the air above her, between the flaming orb and her fragile form, strings of blue lightning began to form in the shape of a net. The net was completed not a moment too soon as, once the final electric thread had appeared, the ball struck the weave. Summer’s web of energy bent around the orb, slowing it down significantly. I watched in awe, and at the same time terror that she would mess up and get hurt, as the net began to swing Velvet’s attack around before releasing it to fly right back at her. The Changelings eyes widened in shock and she hastily began to form a barrier around herself, the shield appearing to be as unstable as it was last time she used it. The moment the attack struck the barrier began to waver, before final going out before it had even absorbed a half of the flames. The rest of Velvet’s redirected attack struck her head on, forcing her down to the ground under the pressure as her carapace was blackened. Yet that still wasn’t enough to put her down. She rose shakily, a triumphant grin adorning her muzzle even as her legs shook. “You see? My resilience is on a level you could never match! What else have you got?” She challenged. “Me? Oh, I don’t need to do anything else. You see, you forgot something very important.” “And what would that be?” Velvet spat back. “What happened to the minotaur?” Summer said, watching as Velvet’s eyes widened in realization. She attempted to cast another spell but two giant hands had already reached down and locked around her barrel, lifting her easily into the air as though she were a child. She struggled, flailing her legs around impotently and building up magic in her horn. Before she had time to use any magic to save herself though, Iron had already taken steps to prevent that. Very violent steps. He held her upside down so that her head was facing towards the earth and then, with a single swift movement of his arms, he slammed her down into the stone floor. Even I, from my place prone on the ground, felt bad for Velvet after that. Summer seemed to share my sentiments. “Damn Iron, is she even still alive?” She asked. The huge minotaur picked up the beaten Changeling, checking her pulse with a single finger which managed to take up the majority of her neck. “Aye, just unconscious. She’s a hardy one alright.” The minotaur admitted. “Then she can still be taken into custody, despite how much I might want to do otherwise.” A new voice said, accompanied by the sound of hooves on the cobble floor. I turned my neck from Iron and Summer to observe the newcomers, though I had a pretty good idea who it would be. I bet it’s Steel Mane and Zende. Sure enough the sight of the old striped doctor and the armoured Captain, who had another pony slumped across his back, came into view. Someone best pick up the phone because I fucking called it! ... That’s the spirit, joke your way through the pain. The Captain and Zende seemed to notice my broken body and walked over to me casual, the uncaring bastards. I’m in terrible pain here and they couldn’t pick up the pace slightly. “Hey Ace...you look like shit.” Zende commented. “Still look better than you Zende. Hey Captain, did anyone ever tell you that’s not how you pick up chicks?” The stern captain chose to ignore my quip, which is a shame because he really needs to lighten up a bit. I mean, it’s not like he’s the one with the possibly broken spine. “What happened here?” He demanded. “Well, this crazy circus full on penguins came into town and what the hell do you think happened?” I replied, rather annoyed that no one was taking me to a hospital. Once again he opted to ignore me. What am I some kind of doormat down here? Heh, doormat. Get it? Cus I’m stuck on the ground and can’t move? My back spiked up in pain again, as if to punish me for the terrible joke. Not really very fair considering I didn’t even say it out loud. “Can we save the small talk for later?” Iron asked. “I’m pretty sure that Ace needs medical attention.” “I agree with that statement!” I shouted from where I was lying. I was quickly surrounded by a haze of blue light that gently lifted me off the ground, being careful not to move my back at all. “Take us to the hospital.” Summer said, her voice broking no argument. “Here, give him this.” I heard Zende say, though I couldn’t see him from where I was. No! I don’t want any of Zende’s poisons. They’re horrible. Before I could voice these protests my mouth had been forced open by a magical field and a liquid poured inside. I tried to spit it out but my lips were sealed closed until I was forced to swallow the foul brew. Hey, that wasn’t that bad. A few moments later my eyelids decided to skive off their jobs and tried to close early. My limbs seemed to agree that this was the perfect time to take the day off and promptly went slack. A few moments later I think my brain decided to join in with the strike. Though I couldn’t be sure of that as I was unconscious by that point. --------- The length of this chapter is for two reasons. One reason is that I decided not to end on the same cliffhanger and torture you guys like that. The second is that this story recently hit 500 favorites! WOO! Yeah! So what I essentially did was combine two chapters into one large chapter to appease you insatiable readers, meaning I now have to get back to writing to catch up. I shouldn't really need to do this but feel like it is better to be on the safe side. So here's a disclaimer: Do not attempt to perform any of the tricks described in this chapter. Or any of the tricks described in this entire story. Seriously, I'm not joking. Ace is both a professional and, most importantly, fictional. If I see in the news that someone tried to eat a fireball then I will be very disapointed with all of you. And so will Ace. Thanks for reading, Barrel-of-fun.