//------------------------------// // 9. release and let go // Story: Two Burning Stars Chasing The Day // by FoolAmongTheStars //------------------------------// It was quiet. If Sunburst had been paying attention, he might have realized that it was too quiet. Like the calm before the storm, the tense stillness that comes first before hell breaks loose. Then again, he probably shouldn’t worry. It was early and they were sleeping—his arm pillowing Starlight’s head, her hand somewhere between his neck and jaw—but it didn’t mean that everything was peaceful. Starlight was in danger and Sunburst had questions, he wanted to help her, to give her an option besides suffering in silence but didn’t know where to even begin. Starlight would be impossible if nothing else, and Sunburst knew it was going to be an uphill battle. She said she was staying…for him. He couldn’t understand it—or maybe he did, a part of it anyway. He didn’t want her to go, couldn’t imagine not having her around, but to endure the abuse just for that? It was simply out of the question. It brought a whole new level of guilt for the selfish feelings he had for her. Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking against the light from his window. It was open and the room was freezing cold, but Sunburst couldn’t bring himself to care, not with Starlight’s warm body pressed up against him. He closed his eyes and snuggled closer to her. It was still early and a Saturday to boot, a day in which he generally slept in until around noon. It was one of the advantages of being a teenager, his mother being aware of this habit and never bothering him until the sun was on the other side of the sky. Lulled by this false sense of security, he never suspected that today would be the day where things didn’t go as usual. Looking back, he believed that it was probably fate, or karma catching up to them that finally pushed them over the edge and marked the end of this chapter of their lives. Not that it mattered. Whatever the reason, it didn’t change the fact that Stellar Flare decided to walk in. It felt like waking from a very painful, very confusing nightmare. Everything was hazy, heavy in a way that made her head pound before she was even fully awake. Consciousness overtook her slowly, and even then, it still felt like an eternity had passed before she was fully aware of her surroundings. It wasn’t until she heard Sunburst’s audible gasp, followed by his quickly retreating warmth, that she forced her eyes to open, blue irises taking in the room. Fuck. Standing in all of her no-nonsense motherliness was Stellar Flare, and she looked about ready to kill someone. Starlight suspected it was probably her she wanted to strangle. She shifted, staring at the woman with the same weariness of a cornered animal, putting space between her and Sunburst. “Mom, this is not what it looks like—" “What is going on?” Stellar Flare screeched, in outrage or horror, Starlight couldn’t tell. She tried to stand, but the moment she put weight on her leg she doubled over in pain, she groaned and ducked her head down as the pain of her injuries made itself known. “Starlight, don’t move, okay? You’re still injured.” He sounded panicked. Hell, she could hear him hyperventilating—she knew he was panicking. She shouldn’t have come here. It didn’t matter that she had come here in a haze of pain and terror, she should’ve known better. The last thing she wanted was for Sunburst to get in trouble. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. It wasn’t going to fix things, but what else could she say? She took a harsh breath as she gathered her balance and stood up, this time succeeding in pushing past the pain. Stellar Flare didn’t stay quiet for long. Breaking from her stunned stupor, she reached blindly for her son’s bookshelf, her hand closing in on a heavy tome that she sent flying across the room. The book missed her completely by a wide margin, but Starlight flinched regardless, the threat still present. “What are you doing here? Get out!” Starlight knew that there was nothing she could say that would calm her down. Sunburst could barely breathe, let alone speak. He watched as his best friend faced his mother, meeting the older woman’s gaze before she was forced to drop it. There was only so much she could take and Stellar Flare’s disdain was too much to bear in her current state. “I…I got hurt last night, I had nowhere else to go—” “How did you even get in?” His mother interrupted, breathing fast, standing by the door and looking ready to shut the door with all of them inside or flee. Sunburst wished it was the second option. Stellar took a step towards Starlight and Sunburst finally reacted. He jumped out of bed and stood between them, his arms rising as if to block her. “I let her in. She’s hurt, don’t you see the bandages? Her foster father, Mr. Cobalt he—” “Then she should’ve gone to the hospital! What is she doing in your room and sleeping in your bed!? Tell me the truth! Did she steal something? Got in a fight with a gang?” Sunburst swallowed harshly, feeling his hands shake with rage. “She didn’t do anything! How could—Mom, she’s hurt!” But his mom wasn’t listening, choosing to act based on what she saw and what she believed. His words would never reach her. The only thing that mattered was Starlight’s presence in his room, and Sunburst realized he had to get her out of here or things would get worse. He ran to her side, shielding her with his body as best as he could, taking advantage of his height to tower over his mother. “Sunburst get away from her!” More nonsense, more things Sunburst couldn’t fix or even hope to mend. He snatched his sweater from the floor and gave it to Starlight, tensing when his mother’s footsteps drew nearer. It was all happening too fast, there was no time to meditate or think through his decisions. He had just woken up, Starlight was injured and his mother was caught in a panicked rage, seeing red and not listening to a word he had to say. But he had to try. Turning around, he let Starlight struggle with the sweater and her shoulder and faced his mother. He spoke up, using a tone he never used before, a voice powered from years of bottled-up anger and frustration, turning his raised voice into a shout that ranged in his ears. “Don’t you dare touch her! Haven’t you done enough damage already!?” It worked, Stellar Flare stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide. “What are you talking about?” He didn’t answer, he didn’t need to, not when his ploy had paid off. Starlight jumped out of the window. Sunburst ran past his shellshock mother towards the front door, snatching the car keys along the way. Starlight crashed in a heap on the ground, the grass and dirt barely cushioning her fall, knocking all the breath out of her. She laid there for a few seconds, trying to swim past her pain as the stars exploded in her vision, forcing herself to stand even as every muscle protested her decision. She'd been hurt before—many times before, but this was a new level of pain she was experiencing. The girl tried not to think about it, thinking about it just made it worse, made her slow and stupid, and focused instead of making her way to the street. She barely made out into the sidewalk when a car pulled up in front of her. She stopped herself just in time to avoid colliding with the vehicle, her hands clutching the door handle and yanking the back passenger door open. “What are you doing?” She yelled into the car. Behind her Stellar Flare was screaming, shouting about cops and a whole bunch of things she didn’t want to think about. The boy behind the steering wheel took up all of her thoughts, making her head spin. “Come on!” Sunburst said, staring anxiously at her from the rearview mirror. “Get in!” Starlight knew this was a bad idea. She knew that nothing good would come out of this. Her life had always been a revolving door of disappointment; she was used to the feeling, expected it even. But for some reason, Starlight couldn’t bring herself to stop him, at least not yet. She got in the car, Sunburst stepped on the gas and they left his home and his mother behind with a squeal of tires against the pavement. They rode in silence for about twenty minutes, Starlight’s labored breathing almost a wheeze, the pain of her injuries coming back as the adrenaline receded. She recognized this part of town, an industrial zone that looked like a ghost town during the weekend, the streets empty, the shops closed, and windows dark, not even a stray dog or cat in sight, just the wind blowing paper and junk around. He kept driving until they reached an area filled with large warehouses and buildings that loomed over them like silent giants, the overcast sky bathing everything in a mute grey glow that made the shadows darker. Finally, Sunburst slowed down and parked the car in an empty alleyway between two warehouses, and turned around to look at her. “Are you alright?” Starlight leaned in and smacked him on the side of his head. “What the hell were you thinking?” She asked fiercely. “Why did you do that?” Sunburst let out a breathless chuckle—or maybe it was a sob, she couldn’t tell. He turned to face her as much as he could with the car seat between them, red-rimmed eyes not shedding any tears as he took her hand and squeezed. “That’s the stupidest question I ever heard.” There was a part of her that wanted to laugh. This entire morning was unbelievable—what time was it anyway? Definitely too early for all this melodrama. The other part of her wanted to scream at him for pulling such a stupid and dangerous stunt. “Your mom is going to raise hell Sunburst. She won’t stop until she finds you.” “No, she won’t, she…” Sunburst took a deep breath and this time a tear did fall. He wiped it away hastily, looking down at the floor. “I can’t stay there, not with her like that. Starlight, you’re hurt and she…she didn’t even blink. She wants to pretend that what we share doesn’t exist, that you’re just there to…to, to take advantage of me.” Starlight sighed and nodded. “I know.” “And she’s wrong!” Sunburst cried. More tears spilled down his cheeks. “She’s wrong Starlight, and I don’t think I can ignore her anymore and her stupid blind ways!” Starlight took a deep breath, slowly moving closer until she was leaning against the back of the passenger seat, her grip on his hand tightening. His blue gaze, so different from her own, was forced to meet hers as she spoke the hardest words that she ever had to utter. “But you have to.” “What? No!” Sunburst felt the panic clawing at his throat all over again, the overwhelming feeling making him want to throw up. “What are you saying?” “I’m saying that you can’t leave them,” Starlight whispered. Her voice was soft but firm like she knew exactly what she was talking about. “Your family loves you—they care about you; I won’t let you throw that away.” Sunburst’s face was full of disbelief. “But they don’t care about you!” “I’m not their family,” Starlight answered sharply. “I’m the bad guy, remember? I’m the one with the record and the reputation.” “You’re being abused—” “It doesn’t matter.” She swallowed and Sunburst watched as the line of her throat jolted. She looked so sure of herself, but there was sadness and fear in her eyes. “You have to stay with your family, don’t abandon them because of me. What about your sister, your grandfather? What about school and your other friends? They would all be sad if you suddenly disappeared.” “I don’t really see them anyways, I've been so busy…” Sunburst felt a sob choke within him, forcing him to trail off and pause. “Does this mean that you don’t…you don’t want me?” He hated the way his voice sounded, so small and unsure, pathetic. He knew that he lacked a lot of things, that he wasn't the strongest or the bravest guy around, much less the most desirable, and sometimes he wondered if Starlight would have even looked twice at him if their circumstances weren't what they were. He felt terrible to bring this up now, but he was left with little choice. “That’s—” Starlight let out a humorless giggle. “I swear if you actually think that I…I wouldn’t even know what I’d do.” Sunburst couldn’t follow what she was saying, what was going through her head. Her body contradicted her words and it was messing with his head and heart. “Then what?” He asked. “What do you want?” “You,” she whispered softly, a hand lifting to cup his jaw, sliding her thumb to wipe his tears. “It’s always you, Sunburst. Nothing is going to change that.” “Then why don’t we run away?” Sunburst blurted out, breathing hard. “We have the car; we can go somewhere where they don’t know us and—” “And what? Beg on the streets? Who would hire a pair of runaway teenagers with no IDs or fixed address?” Starlight asked. “We wouldn’t make it. I don’t want to drag us down with my problems. Sunburst, I know you want to take care of me but I can’t let you do that right now.” Even though it was early morning, the sky darkened considerably as heavy storm clouds rolled in. They seemed to come out of nowhere to Sunburst, or maybe they had been there all along and he just never noticed. Water droplets fell from the sky, and even though they were safe and dry inside the car, he shivered. Of course it was raining. Moments like this thrived off in the rain. “I won’t let you go without me,” Sunburst said, making a fist and hitting the steering wheel in frustration. More tears spilled down his cheeks, or maybe it was the shadow of the rain playing tricks on his face. “I just won’t, okay? I love you and you are not leaving me behind!” The words flowed so naturally from him that he didn’t even want to take them back. It was the truth. They’ve been dancing around it for years, always knowing in the back of their minds but neither of them doing anything about it. There were too many problems, too many risks. And now, in the face of Starlight possibly leaving forever, he wondered why he never said it before. Now that it was too late. The rain continued to fall. Starlight’s eyes softened and she lowered her head, resting her forehead against the backseat as her hair curtained her face from his view. “Ah, shit.” “Don’t pull that on me,” Sunburst murmured, nearly pleading. “It’s not like you didn’t know.” Starlight looked up at him, wondering how things got this convoluted this quickly. But just like everything, this too would pass, like the rain clouds above them, moving in and out by their own will. The good times, the bad, things would come and go. Starlight believed that the sadness she felt right now wouldn’t last forever and that a brighter day was waiting for her on the other side. It was how she survived all these years. It was how she knew that, no matter what, she would find her way back to him, fighting through storms and doubt just so she could hold his hand again for she knew that Sunburst would do the same for her. “Say something.” She leaned back in her seat and pulled him along. Sunburst took the hint, climbing to the backseat with her, and once he settled, Starlight held him tight because it was the only thing she could think of that made sense. Starlight closed her eyes and buried her face in his chest, wishing—not for the first time—for things to be different. “You know I love you,” she whispered. “And I don’t want to go…but I have to.” “Yes, we have to leave!” Sunburst said, speaking frantically as he held her tight. “As long as we are together, we can figure this out and then—” “I won’t let you give up your family.” Starlight knew that this conversation would go on in circles if she didn’t stop it somehow. Sunburst sighed shakily, his arms tightened around her, his fingers digging slightly into the material of her clothes. “Then we're stuck. You either leave without me or stay with me. And really, staying shouldn’t even be an option.” “There’s always another way,” Starlight whispered. “We can do this, but it’s going to be hard.” “Right,” Sunburst mumbled, his laugh bitter. “What’s going to be harder than right now? Your wounds reopen, didn’t they? I can see the blood on your shoulder. We need to patch you up again.” “No, we need to figure this out right now,” Starlight corrected. “We need to come up with a plan or we’ll never have a chance. Do you understand?” Their eyes met and Starlight silently begged for him to just listen to her for once in his life. She had always come up with contingency plans on the fly, ways of getting him out or keeping him around. None of them had worked so far, but now was not the time to dwell on things that seemed impossible. “Okay,” Sunburst said, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. His hair frizzing up due to the humidity. “What’s the plan?” Starlight took a deep breath, or as deep as she could take with the ache in her ribs. The pain was too terrible to ignore, even for someone as stubborn as her, and knew that she could not sit this one out—she needed to go to the hospital. All that running and jumping hadn’t done her any favors, but she was thankful for it, in a way, if the pain weren’t so pervasive, she would’ve probably accepted Sunburst's proposal to run away. She was selfish like that. “You take me to the hospital…and we stop being friends,” she plunged ahead when his blues went flat. “Listen to me! After this stunt we pulled, there’s no way your family will be okay with us still being friends, even at a distance. But it won’t be forever—there’s only one month left of high school, and then one summer, after that you’re going to university.” Sunburst opened his mouth because they hadn’t really talked about it. She knew that he had been accepted to almost all of the schools he applied to, but he hadn’t made up his mind. “I still don’t know where—” “You’re going to figure it out soon,” Starlight cut him off, brushing his messy bangs aside so she could see his eyes more clearly. “You’re going to figure it out and start planning to move as far away as you can from here, or as far as you want to go, okay? And when you do, I will find a way to follow you. I will follow you and we can be together, there and then.” “But what about now?” That thought was the most heartbreaking, while her suggestion made sense in the long run, it made the present all the more painful. “It doesn’t matter where CPS sends you, we can send messages, or emails or whatever! Why can’t we remain friends?” Starlight shook her head. “You think your mom is going to let you go to a school far away if she knew we were still a thing? If she so much as suspects that you’re still in contact with me, she would make your life a living hell. Everyone has to believe we cut ties, Sunburst. Everyone.” A whirlwind of emotions crossed his face. It was easy to tell that he didn’t want to accept this, she didn’t want to accept this either, but there was no other way. Sunburst shook his head. “Then how will I know that you’re okay? How will you find me?” “The shelter,” Starlight said. “Once you decide which school you want to go to, tell Flash, I’m sure he will convince Twilight to talk to Cadance for us. I have her number, so it shouldn’t be too hard to get in contact with her…but until then, you’re just going to have to trust me, can you do that?” Seeing him nod so dejectedly tore her apart, even when he crashed back into her and held her tight. She didn’t know how long it would take for her wounds to heal, or how much her stepfather’s trial would hinder her, but it couldn’t be for long. Whether the old man got time or not for what he did to her and his wife, by the time it would be over, Starlight would be eighteen and free. This would be the ultimate test of their love for each other. She would have to blindly believe that he would be there, waiting for her, and Sunburst would have to have faith that she would find him somehow. “If you don’t come back, I won’t forgive you,” Sunburst mumbled into her shoulder. “I’ll come and find you and give you a piece of my mind for making me wait.” “It’ll be alright Sunburst, I promise,” she whispered the little white lie into his ear, hugging him tightly despite the pain in her body, wishing she could hold him like this forever. Because she would be tossed into the eye of the storm and taken away from the only place she ever felt safe. Once she was at the hospital, anything could happen, the only thing she was certain of was that Sunburst would not be there to comfort her. She would have to face this battle all on her own. They eventually release the other from the embrace, and Sunburst climbed back to the driver’s seat, his face still drenched in tears but his expression stony and determined. Starlight hid her face in her hands as he turned on the car and drove silently into the storm.