Life after Death

by Short-tale


Chapter 3

Weeks passed. I stood by her side. I saw her running a gamut of emotions. She’d cry for days on end, then throw herself mercilessly into her studies. 

I would bring her tea or coffee. I would hold her as she cried, and let her be when she became angry or got into a studying frenzy. All the while, she wanted me to sleep in her bed. I didn’t mind. That strange kiss was a one-time occurrence. 

At one point, I came back from the store to find her destroying anything Trixie had left behind. There were a lot of shattered teacups, and they all looked the same. I never understood why Trixie needed so many. Then Starlight ended her tirade by shattering her own bedroom mirror. When I asked why, she told me that Trixie used to look over her shoulder whenever she admired herself. 

But increasingly, she began to sound like herself. She felt better once she had cleaned the castle of any trinket of Trixie’s. I was beginning to wonder if she was well enough for me to return home. 

Was I ready for that? Why did I want to stay here so much? It wasn’t a rock-based decision.

That night, I sat in her bed and contemplated telling her. The look on her face stopped me. She had been creating lesson plans for the upcoming semester. Or so I thought.

“This is going nowhere, Maud,” she sighed and climbed into bed. 

“What is?” For some reason, my stomach twisted in knots. 

“We interviewed a few applicants for Trixie’s Guidance Counselor position. Not one of them seemed right. Lyra just kept playing with the knick-knacks on the desk. I don’t know what we’re going to do.”

“I’ll do it.” I found my mouth moving before I could truly comprehend what she was asking. That was unusual for me. Most of the time I wanted to speak but wasn’t fast enough.

“Really? C’mon, Maud, you’re not exactly…poniable? I mean, you give good advice, but you need to be more approachable. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes.”

“But what about your rocks?”

“This is more important. I took a year off after… Mud Briar. I can extend it through the school year.”

“Well… it could help,” Starlight said. An eyebrow raisd at me, then she shrugged. “Alright, consider yourself hired. And that’s not just because we’re sharing a bed.”

She gave a sweet smile—one I used to see when she looked at Trixie. I felt my face blush briefly. I turned and faced away from her. 

It was better not to think that way. She was still in pain. I was just helping. Nothing else. 

“You know, you always sleep away from me,” I heard her comment behind my back. “You could hold me for a change. Or at least face me.”

“If you want.” It was all I could think of to say. 

“It’s okay. You’re just so… solid. You don’t look like it. I always used to wonder what it would feel like to hold you like this.”

“You have?” My mind began to race as did my heart. She’d wondered about holding me? How did she think of me? As a friend? As more? The possibilities filled my mind. It reminded me of when I met Mud Briar. 

I breathe off the tension and listen.

“Yeah. You just seemed so… interesting. And you’re built like a rock.”

“Thank you.”

“It made me wonder,” her voice took an unusual tone. It was both inviting and somehow unsettling. “Do you have soft spots?”

“Soft spots?”

“I bet I could find at least one or two.” Her hooves began to move down my body. I didn’t need Maud sense to feel their intention. 

I placed my hooves on hers. I fought the part of me that wanted to aid them. They were so warm and soft. Unlike mine.

“Starlight.”

“Mmh? What’s wrong?”

I rolled to look into her face. It was covered in uncertainty and some embarrassment. It felt too soon. It could still be grief-driven. I had to be sure.

“Is… this what you really want?” I could see her mind starting to work. I wanted her to scream yes then pounce on me, but I was her friend. Friends don’t let friends pounce on them like that. Pinkie said so.

“I... I think so. Do we have to figure it out now? Can’t we just… play around a little? You said you found me attractive, right?”

“Starlight, do I look like the type of pony that ‘plays around’?” At that moment, I wished I was. I wanted to help her. I wanted her to feel better. But I wanted to feel wanted, too. “Do you think our relationship will be the same in the morning if we do this?”

“Heh, that isn’t a no,” she smiled a nervous smile. “But... you’re right. We shouldn’t.” She sighed. “I understand if you feel uncomfortable now. I have to learn to sleep alone sometime.”

“I didn’t say I felt uncomfortable.”

“So you‘ll stay?”

“Yes.”

Her genuine smile returned and she relaxed. I felt awful. I wanted to give her what she wanted. Was I being a good friend or a bad one? Was it what I wanted? Pinkie would have known, but I did not.

“If you want me to face you or hold you from behind, I can do that.” I could feel that need finally simmer down. Those eyes of hers shifted off of ‘fun things’ and looked softer. Her face softened as well.

“I… I wouldn’t say no to being held.” She looked like a foal asking for an extra cookie. Pinkie never asked; there were just no cookies left. The rest of us never got extra cookies.

“Then I will hold you.” A new excitement crept in. It felt like a new step. 

My hooves encircled her light, warm body. My snout sunk into her mane. It was entrancing: so smooth and soft. The few times Pinkie’s mane hit me in the face while we slept, it hadn’t felt anything like this. It was coarse and tangled from not brushing. Brushing is important.

“Wow. It’s like being held by a fortress,” Starlight said with an exciting snuggle. 

“I’m sorry.” Mud Briar had never complained, but I could tell he felt uncomfortable at times like this. He could never get used to the feeling of rocks.

“No, no, it’s nice. Like I’m protected and… safe.”

She began to drift off in my forehooves. Her breath was slow and gentle. Until the snoring started. It sounded like two boulders grating against one another. I found it soothing. 

I decided to talk to Pinkie about this in the morning. She would know what to do.