Sure, we don’t see it, but it’s constantly there. It lurks in the darkest corners of our hearts and minds, ready to strike and make itself known like some sort of evil cobra. It lives in us. It breathes our hatred, bathes in our anger, and devours our melancholy, making it the most ultimate lifeform.

There is no escaping it. Every corner you turn, no matter where you go, will always bring you to it.

Because our dark side is always our worst nightmare... and is our most terrifying nemes-

“FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-”

...Damn it, Kaileena, why did you just interrupt me in the middle of my deep and meaningful speech towards the readers? What the hell is wrong with you?

...Ahem. Anyway... now that my small burst of fury has subsided, I can finally get back to you guys.

I crack open my eyes, my breathing surprisingly regulated despite the hyperventilation I had before I went out like a light. The brightness of the room catches my eyes by surprises, causing me to shut them again. The luminance of the room itself starts to give me... a little headache.

...OK, a massive headache. I blink several times in order for my retinas to adjust to the room. Every inch of me feels sore, but much less so than before. I raise my head and examine my surroundings. It appears to be... some sort of hospital room. White and light-blue tiling, fluorescent ceiling lights (How the hell is there electricity in Equestria?), shrouding curtains, side tables, and two beds, one of them I am currently occupying, and the other as vacant as a dilapidated building. The black void that the window bears signifies that it’s nighttime.

I sigh in relief and smile: Kaileena had been quick enough to stop me from bleeding out and dying right there. But when I look at my left side, my feeling of relief becomes ephemeral, vanishing in the blink of an eye and becoming the emotion of dread.

Replacing my stub of a left arm is a large narrow block of wood that is painted to be the same color as my skin. At the end of the block are five stubs that seem to be a sad excuse for fingers, seeing as how they’re different lengths. I tap the arm with a knuckle from my right hand, and the sound of actual wood getting struck rings out across the room. I sigh, this time in sadness. I turn my head and see IV tubes in my arm, with a bag of water in it. Without thinking of whatever consequences that might await me, I yank the tube off of my arm, wincing only slightly at the pain. I stand, yet become a bit lightheaded and woozy from how suddenly I got up. I shake my head to get rid of the lightheadedness. I take a few deep breaths before looking down at myself to see if I was removed of my clothes. Sure enough, I see myself in the typical hospital gown. How they managed to get it to fit me is a total mystery, mainly because the gowns should be small enough to fit a pony, like when Rainbow Dash injured her wing and had to go here in that one episode... what was it called again? Ah! It was “Read It and Weep”.

But all reminiscence of cartoons for children aside, I’m so grateful for Kaileena. Once more, if it hadn’t been for her, I would’ve been dead awhile ago. I just hope Nut listened to my request and performed what I asked her to do....

I look for my clothes, and I find them sitting on a chair next to the bed, right beside Ellipsis. I walk over to the chair, take my clothes, hide behind the curtain, and change my outfit. It was a tad difficult to get my wooden arm through the hole of my longsleeve shirt and tunic, but in the end, I finally do it right after a few tries and fails.

Once my belt and bandolier are equipped once more, I pick up Ellipsis, making sure to banish it to the Abyss before I go out in public: don’t wanna scare anypony, do I? But then again, my appearance alone would probably frighten multiples ponies, so it doesn’t even matter.

Regardless, I peek my head outside of the room, but I raise a brow and frown at the sight.

Kaileena is freaking out, her eyes as small as dust specs. The doctor, possibly the one who gave me the prosthetic, is trying (and failing. Miserably) to calm her down. “Madam, please calm down!”

“No! Don’t you understand!?” She grabs the doctor and brings him extremely close to his face, looking into his eyes in a very serious demeanor. “I’m seein’ colors ‘n’ shit!”

“Er.... what’s ‘shit’?” The doctor asks. I open the door a little bit more, but I wince as the door hinges squeak. Kaileena was about to answer the doctor’s arbitrary question until her ears prick up slightly at the sound of the squeaking hinges. When she turns her head to face me, she gasps happily, her face lighting up like a fireworks show. She drops the doctor and charges my way, pouncing me in a ginormous glomp.

Now, some of you are thinking, “What the hell is a glomp?” For most of you who do know, kudos. For those that don’t: well, a glomp is basically an extremely ferocious hug. Think of it like being tackled by an incredibly muscular football player, then getting squeezed so tightly that you could only hope that the person doing all of this to you won’t violently molest you afterwards.

Kaileena performs such a devastating glomp on me that my ribs almost crack, like I was being hugged by a furry female Rubeus Hagrid or something like that. I lose my balance and fall, the Bast anchored to me as I hit the tile floor with a thud that knocks the wind out of me.

The end result? Me being in pain again. “OOF! Me everythin’....” I wheeze in reawakening agony.

“OH MY GODS, YOU’RE ALIVE!” She shrieks as she rubs her right cheek into the top of my head. That’s right: if she’s positioned to be taller than me, and she’s a woman, where do you think my head is?

“K-Kaileena! Yer crushing... me head... with yer boobs!” I say into her large chest, my speech slightly muffled by the fur and flesh.

“S-sorry!” She gets up off of me, relieving my face of her impressive cleavage. While I am a tad upset that that moment could not have lasted longer, I would rather choose oxygen than suffocation by a woman’s rack.

“Gee. I wonder what’s got ya all riled up to just pounce me like that....” I wink at her, her cheeks going red as a beet. How I can see it beneath her fur is a mystery, but damn it, it’s just so cute.

“Sh-shut up!” She snaps, invoking me to raise an eyebrow again. “I-it’s not like I like you or anything.” Bullshit! That is the most cliched thing that could ever be said in any anime ever, and it’s become even MORE cliched now that you said it!

“Out in the middle of the night?” The doctor counters. I blink a few times at my foolishness and shake my head.

“Well, where’re we ta go?” I inquisite. “It’s not like I’ve got any money ‘or anythin’.”

The doctor sighs exasperatedly as his horn glows. With his magic, he pulls out a small pouch from his coat pocket. He levitates the pouch into my right hand. “Here. There should be a small motel about a block away from here.” I open the pouch with difficulty due to my left hand being wooden. I peek inside the pouch and smile at the multiple gold coins that sit inside. “That should be enough for a night there.”

“Thank ya so much,” I thank, smiling widely. “I’ll find a way ta repay ya, for the money n’ the surgery... I promise.”

“You don’t have to: the Bits I make every month make the money I gave you look like chump change,” the doctor chuckles. He shakes my hand, then does the same for Kaileena’s. “Take care, you two.”

“Alright, doc.” I give the money to Kaileena, and she places it in my backpack... along with my iTouch and earphones?! How’d she get those? Moreover, how the hell did she find out how to use them?

I swallow harshly, the saliva going down my throat still feeling like a rock rubbing up on sandpaper. “Thank ya again,” I finally get out.

“No problem, Mr. O’Connor.” The doctor waves us a last goodbye as me and Kaileena make our way out of the hospital and onto the main road. It’s quite dark out: stars dotted the indigo sky that was rimmed with the mountains that surround the town of Ponyville. A few late-night equines that are out on the streets at this time of night fire glares at us. Some were amused curiosity, mainly fired towards Kaileena. The others were of dislike, and I was right in the crosshairs.

“Umm... I think I might be able to be accepted into this society, but... I’m not so sure about you, Damien,” Kaileena says. “N-no offense,” she quickly adds, for fear that she had hurt my feelings.

Instead, I pat her back and smile. “Actually, yer right. I need a good disguise.” And I’ve got just the right thing. “Hold this, please.” I take off my backpack and hand it to her. She puts it on without question. “Now, close yer eyes for a second.”

“Uhm... why?” While she does what I request, she seems a little unsure of what’s to come.

“You’ll see,” I tell her. I concentrate again, my face screwed up in determination. I grit my teeth and shut my eyes, trying to concentrate more and more on what I want.

Kaileena jumps at the noise, yet she doesn’t open her eyes. “Alrighty, lass, you can open yer eyes now,” I say in my now high-pitched voice. I fly up to her eye-level and wait patiently for the moment of truth.

Kaileena opens her eyes once more, and gasps in glee at the sight of me. Her eyes light up as she pulls me into another fierce glomp. “OH MY GODS, YOU LOOK SOOOO CUTE!” she squeaks joyously.

“Seriously?!” I holler as I get suffocated once more by the Bast. “I demand that ya unhand me, wench!”

“Uh-uh!” She protests as she heads for the motel. I growl in slowly-growing anger. “I’m not letting you go, you adorable creature!”

It’s not that I don’t like the attention: actually, I love it, and her fur feels so incredibly silky-smooth and soft. However, in case you don’t remember, I’m being squeezed to death by a really cute humanoid kitty cat.

“...What?” It’s more of a befuddled “what” rather than an angry “what”, but it does the trick just fine. Kaileena’s lovable death-grip on me slackens, and I slip out of her grasp.

“I can’t believe it worked!” I exclaim happily as I get some airtime and fly a little bit, my blob-form ascending into the sky. But just like that, Kaileena jumps up a few feet using her strong cat legs and snatches me by the tail.

Just like that, the Bast lands, pulling me back down. “Oh, fuck, it didn’t work!”

“You’re gonna have to do better than that if you wanna get away, ‘Ian.” I shake my head (which I guess is my body?) at the nickname.

“Don’t call me that, please,” I grumble as we reach the motel. “I hate that nickname.”

“Sorry, Damien,” she apologizes as she opens the door. Reluctantly, she lets go of me and lets me be free. We both make our way inside. The area seemed to be the typical motel waiting room: a few chairs on the left side of the room, followed by a receptionist’s desk on the right, along with a coffee table with magazines and comics that sits in the middle of the room. The exhausted pegasus receptionist behind the desk sees Kaileena and me before putting on a false smile.

“Two? You want a bed for your pet as well?” ...WHAT DID THAT BITCH JUST SAY?!?!

“Yes, please.” The Bast shoots a smug smirk at me, and I grit my teeth in agitation.

“Ten Bits, then.” I use my tail to open the backpack and reach into its endless void for the pouch of Bits. Once I find it, I wrap my tail around it and pull it out before giving it to the receptionist.

“Aw... how cute.... seems this little guy is trained really well, huh?” She remarks as she pulls out the required Bits and I snatch the pouch back up with my tail. It takes all of my willpower to not transform back to a human and smack her across the face.

“Indeed so... Actually... can I have a one-bedroom, please?” Kaileena seems to sense the hatred emanating from me and she launches another glare at me, causing me to wither in fear at how ferocious she looks. The receptionist nods and hoofs over a key with the number 6 on it, along with the now obviated five Bits.

“Thanks,” she says. “Good night!” Once we go inside the hallway, the mare returns to looking gloomy and tired.

“Thank God almighty that that’s over...” I hiss vehemently under my breath. We reach the door with a golden 6 emblazoned on it. Kaileena looks at the key, then at the door knob. She puts the key inside the keyhole of the knob and turns it to the right. When it doesn’t yield, she turns to the left. The lock clicks open, and she opens the door.

The motel room looks... amazing. The carpet isn’t a shag carpet, which was completely perfect for my talons. The walls are painted a seafoam green, rather like Lyra Heartstrings’ fur coat. The navy-blue bed looks unusually soft, as well as the pillows on it. The bed is flanked by a drawer on each side, with seashell handles and black gloss.

I return to being a human Imp once more with another poof and a small smokescreen. I let out a low whistle as I sit on the beds. Just as I suspected, the mattress is remarkably comfortable, like pegasus feathers were stuffed into it. While I enjoy the overall comfort of the room, it feels rather stuffy. I feel myself simmering a bit, so II remove the belt of my tunic and my bandolier. They both land with a soft flump. The steel bracers on my arms go off as well. I unbutton the lone button on my tunic and remove it, along with my black long-sleeve underneath.

Kaileena looks at me from the other side of the bed she hopped on and wolf-whistles. “Now that’s hot....” she comments, a sultry look on her face as she examines my scarred and slightly tanned body.

My face grows warm from the remark. “Uhhh...” I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS ONE. To shrug it off, I delve into my backpack for food. Once we both dine on bread and meat, I go into the bathroom and brush my teeth with the complimentary toothbrush and toothpaste that the motel provided. I got a good look of the room before I left it. A typical bathtub with a toilet next to it, followed by a sink with a mirror that is next to the aforementioned toilet. A few towels are on the rack opposite the toilet.

I go back into the main room and plop myself on the bed, exhausted from using my transformation techniques. I could feel the tendrils of exhaustion and somnolence snake around me and pull me under, drowning me blissfully in the ocean of sleep, with the many shimmering fish of dreams swimming around me, creating a blindingly bright, yet beautiful, whirlwind of colors.

The hypnotizing mirage is enough to lull me into sleep, a small smile crafted upon my lips.

I wake up to the weekday alarm on my iTouch, the Apple-produced machine blaring out the laid-back and lazy Japanese song I was constantly accustomed to.

I jump up slightly in shock, then turn it down rather than turning it off. I turn my head to see Kaileena still sleeping. I sigh in relief before getting up and starting my daily routine, which consists of brushing my teeth and showering.

I crank up the volume once the bathtub is quickly filled with warm water. With some difficulty due to my arm being wooden, I remove my clothes entirely. As soon as I discover my arm is detachable, I remove it and place it on the sink. I step into the tub and sink in. I sigh in relief as the water opens my pores and warms my skin. The lyrics start up, and I sing along: I’ve heard this song so many times, the lyrics come naturally to me.

Sore wo okidosu mono shita
Mata atarashii seikatsu ni honey wo obosu
Mada usurguraku tomo ni gaito
Gare wa mai choushi engin some guy dry

As quickly as I came, I get out of the bathtub after I finish scrubbing with soap and water. Once I drain the water from the tub, I dry myself off thoroughly before I put on my clothes and reattach my prosthetic. I grimace slightly at how clunky and pathetic I feel whenever it’s on. What good would I be in a fight? I probably won’t be able to fight properly with Ellipsis ever again. My arm is gone... forever....

Think about it. It could’ve been your actual body. Or worse... it could’ve been Kaileena.

Yeah... you’re right, Brain. If it had been Kaileena... I don’t know what I’d do.

I step out of the bathroom, with Kaileena now getting up, probably from how loud I was in there. “What in the name of all that is holy are you listening to?” she asks bluntly.

I sigh. I throw on my backpack after we finish eating meat and bread again for breakfast. Don’t get me wrong, I like it, especially since Akio’s culinary skills still annihilate the taste buds; but after a while, the paradigm would grow to be too dull and arbitrary. Something else entirely to switch it up would totally be worth it. Since I can’t leave via door, for fear of being spotted by the receptionist and getting in a lot of trouble, I open the window of the bedroom and hop out, while Kaileena takes the key and leaves out the door.

“Get up, get up, walking
Sleeping in keep on moving slowly
Good morning and good sunshine

Get up, get up, walking
Sleeping in keep on moving slowly
Good morning and good sunshine

Shinya kara asa sunda yagyou
Gazen wa chigou kotae sagusukoto
Doi shikyuu no eru chuuki wa
Mo hasen no mukou ni yaritai

Nai ima wa wakau nai mon wa nai datte
Mayotte sagashite
Kuruma ni gazou de arashite
Sore kara yaru go mata me wa samashite

Fudasu karade ni hello
Mattaku motto mo kyo kyoumino kasuka
Kusakarifuun sasunara hearts
Mecha kizukino jasmine oyasumi

Once the song ends, I turn off my iTouch and pocket it. Despite the many glares that are fired at me by the local ponies, the amount of fucks I could give to them are completely and utterly nonexistent. I walk with a swagger in my step and a grin on my face.

But that all goes to shit when I see the wanted posters in the middle of the town’s bulletin board.

WANTED CRIMINALS

“Devil Imp” (Ugly Bat Freak): Damien O’Connor. Crime: Wielding a weapon against the rules of Stalliongrad; Not paying the Stalliongrad toll; Jailbreak from Stone Tower Prison; Assaulting several guards. Worth: 8000 Bits

“Bast”: Kaileena. Wielding a weapon against the rules of Stalliongrad; Not paying the Stalliongrad toll; Jailbreak from Stone Tower Prison. Worth: 6000 Bits

Other “Basts”: Ren-Thel and Khajiit “Mango Jack”. Wielding a weapon against the rules of Stalliongrad; Not paying the Stalliongrad toll; Jailbreak from Stone Tower Prison; Assaulting several guards. Worth: 8000 Bits each.

Unicorn Mare: Faultless. Crime: Thievery; Jailbreak from Stone Tower Prison. Worth: 4000 Bits

Each description has a hand-drawn (hoof-drawn? Mouth-drawn? Magic-drawn? GAH! DAMN YOU, EQUESTRIAN GRAMMAR) mugshot of each of us. Khajiit and Kaileena both look surprised, Ren has a serious scowl upon his face, Faultless looks confused, like she doesn’t belong in jail.

“...What the hell?” I say quietly as I examine the artistic detail, still not retorting to the looks from the other ponies. "They can never seem ta get me nose right." In the picture, I was smiling cheekily at the proverbial camera, but my nose was drawn to be far too bulbous and droopy, much like Squidward Tentacle's nose.

However, it’s best to dispose of it before trouble starts brewing. Without warning, I take the pictures off the bulletin board and start crumpling it up into one large ball of paper. With as much accuracy as I could muster, I toss it in the nearest trash bin. The faux-basketball bounces off of the rim of the bin and lands pathetically on the floor. I turn my head when I hear the sound of snickering. Rather than expecting ponies, I see something else.

Standing before me was the weirdest trio I’ve seen. One is a Samurai Nobody, from the Kingdom Hearts series, donning grey clothing. He (I choose to say he because calling him an it is an insult) appears to be the same as the others: two zippers on his shirt, cylindrical head with 6 eyes, billowing sleeves with the crest of the Nobodies on each sleeve, MC Hammer-styled pants that are wide at the thighs and narrow at the knees and ankles, which are donned in narrow and pointy black boots, black claws, and two crossed katanas behind his back. He looks at me questioningly, and I him.

The other is a Dancer Nobody, who appears to be rather feminine. An orange hat seems to be shrouding her eyes (if any), and the hat is trailing a long piece of narrow cloth that ends in a pointed arrow. There are metal bracelets on her wrists, which lead down to fingerless, sickle-shaped hands. A large black cross is on her chest, starting from the neck and ending at her hips, which are clad in pink and yellow pants that also bears the Nobody crest, the bottom of her pants sleeves having rather curly, yet narrow and boxy, feet. She has her hand in front of her mouth, stifling the snickers she was creating.

The third is a Diamond Dog, with a pure white coat and black stripes on the arms and feet. I can’t tell if it’s a male or a female... eh. Not important at the moment. It has a basic dark gray vest on its back. It looks at me fearfully, possibly frightened by my appearance as she hides behind the Samurai.

“.... What in the-” The Samurai just says quietly, but is cut off as the Dancer fell over on the ground, laughing.

“T-that wa-was so f-f-fail!” She says between snickers, before laughing hysterically, holding her stomach as she rolls on the ground.

“Elie, it is very rude to laugh at one’s misfortune. Stop it. Now,” The Samurai says strictly. Misfortune?! Dude, my arm is wooden! If anything, I’ve had nothing but misfortunes coming for me ever since I broke out of Stone Tower!

“Pfft! Hell no. You’re not the boss of me,” The Dancer, apparently named Elie, retorts before continuing to laugh like a maniac.

The Samurai just sighs and shakes his head, clearly not approving what the other Nobody was doing. He turns his gaze to my direction.

The Samurai puts his hand in front of the spot where his mouth would be and clears his throat. “I apologize for my inconsiderate and ignorant acquaintance,” he says politely.

“Hey!” The mentioned Dancer stops laughing and yells loudly, sounding insulted.

“I would also appreciate it greatly if you could forgive her actions,” the Samurai continues, ignoring the disapproving Dancer, who jumps up from the ground and huffs in a defiant manner.

“Don’t mention it, sir,” I say, finally putting the crumpled posters back into the bin. “No harm done, after all.”

Hang on a second... this guy seems rather familiar... Damn it, I’ve seen him from somewhere, and not from a sensational video game....

Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem to come to me. Eh. I figure I’ll remember where I saw him when it actually comes to me.

I extend my right hand to him and say, “Name’s Damien O’Connor.” He gives it a shake, yet when he goes to introduce himself, he is interrupted at the sound of-

“Hi, Damien!” A very familiar voice shouts. I turn my head to see Kaileena jogging our way, the backpack on her back jangling slightly with each pace. She stops next to me and smiles widely, handing me my backpack. I don it and wrap an arm around her, patting her tricep muscle.

“A kitty!” The Dancer exclaims giddily and is suddenly hugging the daylight out of the Bast.

“Help... me!” Kaileena wheezes. It takes a few tries for the Samurai to separate the two. I chuckle a bit at the scene.

“That is quite enough fooling around for one day. Try to control yourself,” the Samurai scolds the Dancer.

“But she’s so cute~! I wanna hug her till my arms fall off,” The Dancer says dreamily. “Can I have one?”

“No!” The Samurai retorts bluntly. He then shakes his head again, muttering something under his breath before talking clearly again. “Apologies for that. It seems I did not get to introduce myself correctly. My name is Hollow, and yes, that is my birth name. And this one over here,” he points at the Dancer, “is Elie. A real troublemaker, if you ask me.”

“I would have to agree with you, Mr. Damien,” Hollow says with an air of eerie calmness surrounding him.

“I see.... Waaaait,” Hollow suddenly tenses up a bit. “Why do you sound Irish? Or is it Welsh? I don’t know.”

“Irish,” I deadpan, “and that is because I was born in Ireland. This here’s Kaileena, a Bast from th’ Urukai tribe in th’ Great Southern Rainforest.”

“Nice to meet you!” The individual in question says cheerily, stretching her paw out. Hollow shakes it, followed by Elie, who seems to be resisting the urge to tackle Kaileena in a vicious glomp.

“A pleasure,” says the Samurai, then he pauses for a bit. “Wait, you are...” His words point towards me. “No can’t be.... Then again..... You certainly look the part. Well, some of you. A picture perfect human, except for the wings and the legs.”

“Comes with th’ job o’ bein’ a Devil Imp,” I tell Hollow. Now I remember where I saw Hollow: that dream where Nut showed me what happened to Earth in my absence. Another human has crossed my paths; maybe he could also be a brony...?

I crane my head and see the Diamond Dog still behind him. “And who’s the Dog travelin’ with ya?” I ask curiously, yet with a friendly smile.

Kaileena sees the Dog in question and goes wide-eyed in both fear and surprise, before following the Dog’s example and cowering behind me, shaking like a leaf in the wind. “D-d-d-d-dog!”

NO, REALLY? FOR A SECOND THERE, I THOUGHT IT WAS THE MOTHERFUCKING CHUPACABRA.

Hollow facepalms. “Again! Why does this happen? She is right there. Has been this entire time. She is not invisible!”

“Well, I see how that makes sense.... Except not. If you haven’t noticed, she is white as a snowflake. How does that not stand out? “Hollow says before taking a few deep breaths before continuing. “Sorry. This here is Eve. She was part of a Diamond Dog pack that I stumbled upon trying to capture a family of ponies. The rest of her pack is dead now, technically by my hand, so I took her with me.”

The Diamond Dog named Eve seems to grow slightly more nervous and took hold of Hollow’s arm tightly. I offer my hand to Eve, trying to coax her out of her fit of anxiety. “It’s alright, lass... ‘m not gonna hurt ya... I just wanna say hi.”

I wait a tad before Eve can react. She slowly reaches her own hand towards mine, but pulls it back at the last second. “Welp, so much fer that.” I sigh in exasperation.

“It’s alright. Eve is a little shy around foreign surroundings, most of all ponies. Comes with the natural prejudice towards them, I guess.” Hollow explains. I nod in understanding.

“That explains it,” Kaileena pipes up. “So what do you all feel like doing? It’s kinda boring around here.”

“We, well, I came here to learn more of Equestria’s history and other useful information. The library seemed like a good place to start,” Hollow says, but suddenly turns pretty glum, as did Eve. “I am beginning to regret that choice. You see I.....”

Hollow stopped as something seemed to catch his eye. He was quiet for a few second, before, “No way in the seven circles of hell.” He walks past me and Kaileena, Eve being dragged along, still clinging to his arm. He stops at the bulletin board and groans exasperatedly in despair. “I can’t believe it!” He yells, then rips off a poster and hands it to me. “Read it. I can’t and I must know.”

I take the poster from him, wondering why on Ear- er... Equestria... he is being rather melodramatic about this. The mugshot on the poster depicts a hooded man with glowing red eyes, which are the only thing shown on his face since his hood covered his face in shadows. Apparently, he’s also firing up a peace sign at the faux-camera. I clear my throat and read the poster:

WANTED

“The Dark Coat” : Real name unknown. Crimes: Not paying the Trottingham toll, assaulting guards for no apparent reason, causing vast amounts of property damage, resisting arrest, escaping from Trottingham prison, destroying property of the Trottingham guard and lollygaggin’. Worth: 16000 Bits.

“Well... shit,” I say. This “Dark Coat” guy is not only an expensive suspect, but he appears to have Pinkie Pie powers, allowing him to break the fourth wall.

If he meets Pinkie Pie herself? Well, let’s just say that we’re all gonna fucking die.

“I should have guessed,” Hollow sighs and shakes his head in defeat. “What the heck are you doing, Shade?”

“Ohnonononono. Don’t even go there. I would do anything to be rid of him,” He babbles quickly.

“Really?” I say coldly, my face slowly contorting in irritation. Hollow’s remark has made me see him in a different light. “Ya want ta be rid o’ ya own flesh ‘n’ blood? The guy who, despite his constant fuck-ups, ya can’t really hate in th’ end?”

He just stares at me for a minute. “Easy for you to say. Let me tell you something, Damien. That man, my brother, was locked up in a mental asylum for twelve years after he ripped off a boy’s throat with his teeth. He is insane! Utterly dejected from this reality.”

“That may be the case... but I’d rather have an insane brother than no brother at all... especially with how shitty life was back home. Dead dad, whoring and drug-obsessed mother, people who will hate you at every turn for being yourself: I relied on me brother. He was like a godsend ta me... until those FUCKIN’ BASTARDS MADE HIM KILL HIMSELF!” Without hesitation, I launch my left hand into the bulletin board, the wooden arm splintering and shattering the weaker wood of the board like it was a pathetic shield. Many of the ponies catch notice and begin panicking slightly at the scene. Kaileena looks at me sorrowfully, Eve is clutching Hollow’s arm with a vice-like grip, and Elie recoils.

I bite my tongue and tightly shut my eyes, fighting back fresh tears that threaten to become evident.

Hollow just stares at the whole thing as it went by. He then hangs his head a bit after a while. “I am sorry for your loss. While it is true that my brother and I don’t get along, he has helped me on a few occasions before.... well, that incident.” He says before he looks at the white Diamond Dog. “Eve, circulation getting cut from the arm again.”

Eve immediately releases her apparently strong grasp from his arm. “Sorry,” she says softly. Hollow gestures her to stay put as he himself comes closer to me.

“There was a time when I too was an outcast. I got picked on nearly daily. The only thing that let me get home without getting all bruised up was Shade.” He chuckles a bit. “My brother always had a natural talent for fighting. He could take on anyone and not get even a speck of dust on himself. He could even beat both me and my father in his sleep, and I am not making that up. He was amazing. A little crazy, but amazing.”

Hollow pauses for a minute before speaking again. “My father was what you could call a grouch with a heart of stone. He was really strict and made it his goal to beat the way of the sword into me. Not that I objected later on. My mother....” He pauses again, this time sighing somewhat melancholically. “I never knew my mother. I heard she died when I was young. Shade and father never told me much about her. The thing that my father once told me was that my mother was an angel, a true saint. I believed him. No one else could tolerate a husband like that,” He chuckles again.

His words churn and roll in my head, being stewed by my brain until it’s become perfect with realization. I’m not the only one who got on the shit-list.

“...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t a’ lashed out like that,” I apologize, finally pulling out my prosthetic hand from the bulletin board and cleaning off any stray splinters onto my tunic.

“Don’t be. You had a reason to be mad. I won’t judge you for that,” Hollow says calmly. A few silent moments pass, and it is Hollow who finally breaks the incredibly fragile silence. “Still, I am surprised that Shade’s bounty is that small and does not involve killing anyone or anything, considering he most likely did all that for a bottle of alcohol.”

“What the-?!” I’m utterly appalled. “That man loves alcohol more than I do if he did all that.”

“It’s more like a craving than anything else, really. He hasn’t tasted a drop of alcohol in twelve years. The last I saw him, he basically asked the way to the closest bar after saving our hides and kicking my dark duplicate’s ass. That was yesterday, by the way,” he says matter-of-factly.

I let out a low whistle at the mention of Shade’s previous behavior towards Hollow and his company. Right now, Shade is like the Wu-Tang Clan: ain’t nuthing ta fuck with. “Blimey.”

“Er... hate to break up the talking men,” Elie intervenes. “But... I’M SO BORED!” She throws her hands up in the air.

In the middle of Hollow’s statement, he gets cut off by a figure that darts past them, apparently floating in the air. It taps the Bast on the shoulder and continues on. Soon enough, sound of instruments being tuned fills the air.

“Most likely, yes,” Hollow answers the unfinished question. “We’d better take a look and see if this one is another Xolhowl. I hope not.” He, Elie and Eve dart off towards the origin of the sounds. I raise an eyebrow: Xolhowl? What in Equestria could he be talking about?

Regardless of the unknown answer that won’t come to me, I shake my head and follow Hollow (hehe... that rhymed), who seems to not let up on following that floating being. I get a closer look at the creature we’re following. He is wearing rather elegant parade clothing: A red parade cloak with gold trim, poofy white pants, black boots, white gloves for his four-fingered hands, a strangely-shaped crown, red slanted eyes, and a lightning-bolt shaped conductor’s baton in his right hand. It takes about a few seconds before my brain can register that the being is an Unversed, a Symphony Master to be precise.

How do I know all this? Well, when you’re a total dork like I am, one tends to know these things quite well. Plus, Sony and Nintendo have been very good friends to me....

“Ouch!” I exclaim, when a large drum that is apparently floating and following the Symphony Master knocks into the back of my head, followed by a trumpet to the wing and a violin and its bow to the back. The force of all three musical instruments hitting me sends me to the floor again, causing me to bite the dust. “Fortune, I hate ya so much right now.” Hollow gives a short chuckle before helping me up to my claws.

“Keep one eye on the foe and the other on your surroundings, for it is the harshest opponent of them all,” he says, sounding like some kind of a wise old man before turning to the Unversed. He looks at him for a good while. “Damn, this text just keep on popping up, doesn’t it?” He remarked.

“Yeeeeah, I can kinda see that Symphony Master’s status screen,” He slowly says. While that sounds kinda cool, I give him a questioning look. “Trust me, it’s less insane than what it sounds. Still, this one does not seem hostile. It hasn’t attacked anyone yet, at least.” A pause. “Except you, accidentally I suppose.”

“Better on accident than deliberately,” I say as I dust myself off with my good hand and simultaneously follow the Symphony Master.

The Unversed in question stops suddenly at a large stage. The stage in question seems to be crafted from strong oak, with a red silk curtain in the background. Above the curtain, on a wooden board, showed the symbol of five ponies trotting across the board. Maybe they stylized it ever since the CMC performed? Or maybe someone else performed here...?

Either way, I finally begin to see where the Symphony Master is going with this. The Unversed places the drum and its sticks, the trumpet, and the violin and its bow on the floor of the stage. The Symphony Master waves his baton once, and more instruments appear on the stage. Lyres, bells, guitars, flutes, and multiple other instrumets neatly litter (What a paradoxical pair of words) the stage. I think I spot a DJs turntable as well. Strange...

Regardless as to how an instrument of electronic music got involved, the Symphony Master waves his conductor’s baton around, and, I shit you not, words start to form wherever the tip of the baton strays. Like a spider and its web, the words flow like gossamer and shine like rubies, looping and twirling until the collected words form the interrogative sentence:

Hollow rubbed the spot where his chin would be. “Damien, can you play any music?”

A note before we begin: over the past twenty-two years of living, I’ve had more than enough musical experience to play any instrument. Guitar, violin, lyre, harp, ocarina, flute; you name it, I play it. Hell, the only instrument I can’t play is the didgeridoo, and that Australian lung-fucker requires the player to breathe out through the mouth and breathe in through the nose AT THE SAME TIME, a feat that only 10% of the world’s population can actually do.

“Sure I can,” I answer. Me and Hollow both hop up on stage and pick up our requested instruments. Hollow picks up the violin and bow, which look unusually eloquent. The instrument is made of cherry wood that was polished so well that it practically glistens like a gem. I let out a low whistle before I pick up a lyre. It resembles nothing like Lyra’s lyre, for this one has thirty-nine strings. The instrument is about the size of my backpack, and was wrought from stainless steel, yet painted to resemble gold. I can tell it was painted because of the occasional minuscule dots of paint on the lyre’s shiny surface. Thirty-nine strong nylon strings line up vertically along the lyre, completing the small Greek instrument.

A painful noise breaks me out of my marvelling of the lyre, causing me to clamp my hand over one of my ears in a bad attempt to block out the sound. That note was rather... atrocious, like Kotomi Ichinose just played that note. And if you watched Clannad, you would know what I meant when I say that.

“A bit rusty!?” Elie wails at the Samurai. “That was terrible! If I had ears, they’d be bleeding!”

“Shut up, Elie,” I say, my blunt words silencing the Dancer. “Give ‘im time, he’ll remember soon enough.”

“Yeah, it’s been awhile since I played a violin,” Hollow says, his voice coated with nostalgia. “I used to take lessons. Well, five lessons until they threw me out.”

“When I became better than my instructors,” he responds without hesitation. “They didn’t take it very well.”

“I do, but you play first,” I respond. “Besides, I don’t really know any violin songs off th’ top o’ me head, and I don’t think I’m quite ready yet.”

“Alright,” He seems deep in thought for a good while until he snaps his fingers at his instrumental epiphany. “I think I’ve got a perfect one.” He gestures the Symphony Master to come closer and seemingly whispers something to him. The Symphony Master claps his hands together. With a few waves of his baton, the Symphony Master nods. I see that several ponies have gathered around to see the spectacle. Most of them, at immediate recognition, appear to be the wielders of the Elements of Harmony, Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, and Pinkie Pie. Spike, as well, seems to have come along with them, the infantile dragon riding on the back of the purple unicorn. I also spot an Unversed that looks like a scholar, or something like that, next to Twilight. A Mimic Master, I think it was called. Why it is there, I haven’t got the foggiest.

“Let me get my thoughts collected and organized,” Hollow says and concentrates. After about ten seconds later, he nods. “Ready. Let’s do this.”

The Symphony Master (who I - and I think Hollow as well - will call Orchestra to save time) waves his baton again, and the sound of a film reeling starts to ring out of, seemingly, nowhere.

Seven seconds of reeling film go by, and Hollow places the violin on his shoulder and under his proverbial chin before playing.

Rather than any hideous notes that blare from the violin, Hollow erects notes that are uncommonly incredible. The melody is slow and, by all accounts, simply beautiful. So simple and filled with emotion. Then with a wave of his baton, Orchestra summons background music that includes catchy guitar riffs and drum beats that he commands like a chapel master. Hollow also picks up the pace, while still managing to keep up with the change. The way he moves that bow and his fingers is like harmony in a nutshell.

After a while, the drums and guitar quiet down and give the Samurai a solo, accompanied by an electric keyboard. He seems very concentrated and I can safely bet he is in the Zone right now. Nothing beats being in the Zone, not even bacon. That melody sounds like angels are playing it instead of a mere Nobody. It is just that serene. I actually feel myself let go of the real world and get swept away by the sound. Funny... the tune seems to carry a tinge of sadness in it, and I haven’t the foggiest why.

The drum and guitar comes back briefly to accompany Hollow’s violin and then fade away, leaving Hollow to do another solo, only to jump back soon enough with a vengeance! As the song picks up the pace once more, Hollow starts swaying as he plays, as if dancing. As his pace gets faster his movement intensifies. He is going with the flow, like a stray leaf in a raging current.

Then as the song comes to its close, the Samurai twirls around as he plays the final notes, ending his entrancing performance.

There is a silence hanging in the air, thick as mud. It appears that everypony in the crowd is too awestruck to do a thing. Heck, even I was left speechless. I honestly didn’t expect Hollow to be THAT good.

Before I know it, my ears are bombarded by the ferocious sound of applause. Ponies stomp on the floor as a substitute of clapping, cheering, whooping, hollering, and whistling their unanimous concurrence. Eve and Elie share the most intense applause, their faces almost going red from how loud and hard they are cheering.

Hollow gives a deep bow to the audience and walks next to me. I can clearly hear him sigh deeply. “Never play to a live audience, huh? Well, up yours, Mr. Brannigan,” I hear him mutter.

“That... was beautiful, lad,” I say, still shocked and awed by the performance.

“Thank you kindly, Damien.” Hollow gets off stage and stands in between Elie and Eve, turning around and facing me. “Now, it’s your turn.”

I gulp nervously. I was too hypnotized by the song that I had not even tried to think of a good song. “C’mon, Damien!” Kaileena cheers. “YOU CAN DO IT!” To add emphasis to the encouragement, she starts stomping her paw into the ground, chanting my name over and over. “Dam-ien! Dam-ien! Dam-ien!”

The chanting spreads. Elie starts chanting with Kaileena. More and more of the ponies are following the example, chanting my name so loudly, my ears ring. “DAM-IEN! DAM-IEN! DAM-IEN! DAM-IEN!” The only ones not doing it are Eve and Hollow.

“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT!” I holler, trying to make myself heard. The audience’s cries for another music performance dies down. I clear my throat, flex the fingers on my right hand, and hold the lyre in its proper position. I take a deep breath and begin playing the lyre.

Since the fingers on my left hand are wooden, and wood obviously has neither muscles nor veins, they don’t move a mere inch, so I have to move my arm altogether instead. Despite that unfortunate drawback, I still play to the best of my abilities, the sounds of the strings getting plucked and pulled almost becoming exactly as I wanted them to be.

The melody is soothing, and like before, I intentionally lose my grip on the reality I’m stuck in, let my body perform the actions, and let my mind sink into the creek of reminiscence.

(|“C’mon, Damien!|) Daniel coaxed in Gaelic. (|“Let’s go play outside!”|)

(|OK, hang on!|) I replied in our native tongue as I got on my sandals. Daniel grabbed my arm and pulled me outside, a soccer ball in his other hand. (|We’ll see you later, Momma!|)

The grass and dirt beneath my sandals flattened with a soft rustling and crunching sound as we ran out of our new small home in Boulder, Colorado, and into the softer grass of the park. (|Heads up!”|) Daniel shouted, before chucking the ball high into the air. It came back down and bounced off the earth with a soft thump, getting less air time once it was airborne again. I crouched low and rose up once the ball was under me, the black and white sphere going high into the air from my head striking it. It soars over to Daniel, who followed my example. The game just consisted of us dribbling the ball off of our heads toward one another.

Finally, Daniel caught it, ending the small back-and-forth game between us. (|Damien, look!|) I turned my head toward the direction Daniel was pointing, and I saw three other boys coming our way. (|Maybe we can ask them to play with us?|)

(|But... you don’t speak English, and my English is only so-so,|) I explained.

“Hey,” one of the boys, a small Hispanic boy with a red shirt and khaki shorts, began. “You new here?”

“Yes,” I told them, trying to muster up as much knowledge of the English language as I can. “Him and I are new here.”

“You talk weird,” another boy, this one being American, with black shorts and a blue shirt with a hawk on it, declared. “Where ya from?”

“Ireland?” The final boy, an African-American with a green muscle shirt and gray shorts, asked questioningly. “Pfft, there ain’t no such thing.”

“Oh, really?” the blue-shirted American boy questioned sarcastically. “Well, then, where is it?”

“See?” The Hispanic kid began. “He’s lying. I ain’t heard of no Europe before.”

(|Damien, what are they saying that’s making you mad?|) Daniel asked. The boys just simply laughed at the Gaelic my little brother spoke in.

“Look, they even have a funny language!” The African-American child chimed cruelly, and the three boys laughed again, pointing at my brother, who, up until now, did not know that they were laughing at us. Open-mouthed, the five-year-old toddler became saddened and his lower lip quivered, a sign that he was almost about to weep.

“Aww, is the little girl gonna cry?” the American boy fired menacingly. Daniel lost control, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. I balled up my fists and clenched my teeth, almost ready to belt this boy in the face for what he did.

(|C’mon, Daniel,|) I said to my sibling. (|Let’s go home; these guys are jerks.|)

(|Okay,|) Daniel complied mournfully. He grabbed our soccer ball and we both left the park, my arm around my brother’s shoulder.

“Smell ya later, weirdos!” The trio of bullies hollered before cackling like evil witches that were unreluctantly trapped inside males’ bodies.

(|Just ignore them,|) I told my brother, who was looking at the ground as he sniffled. He wiped his eyes of the tears. (|They’re just trying to get you mad for their own benefit.|)

I sighed, trying to make an answer out that inquiry. How could I answer such a sad question? I was only ten; I had little to no knowledge of ever being teased up until now.

‘Thanks, Papa...’ I think as I look to the heavens. ‘You’ve been a big help... despite you not being with us.’

I end the song, the final high note ringing out across the environment. I feel something warm and wet on my left cheek, and I wipe it away with my hand. I know what it is, but I didn’t want others to see.

“That was...” Hollow began. “That was fantastic!” And he begins clapping.

That first clap was the spark to start the raging fire of approval from the other ponies.

Like with the Samurai, a massive tsunami of applause crashes into me, drowning me in their approval. Kaileena, is her excitement, leaps onto the stage and tackles me in another large hug. I bowl over onto the floor of the stage, the Bast clinging to me like lint to denim. “That was awesome!” She screams over the din of applause.

“Heh, yeah. Didn’t know I could still play.” I lift my left hand to emphasize the statement.

“Right. About that... I think I have an idea on how to get you a newer, better arm,” she informs as we both get up from off the floor.

“How?” Kaileena points towards the mountains, where a large regal city sits atop the mountainside. It was- “Canterlot?”

“That’s its name?” I nod at her question. “Then Canterlot is where we’ll go. The ponies say that two really powerful princesses live there: maybe they can help you with your arm.”

“Maybe...” I turn the matter over in my head. Going to Canterlot could possibly mean going to see Princess Luna (which was a total plus) and getting a new arm (which was an even bigger plus), but the risk would be that we would be captured because we are wanted by Equestrian forces (which is a total con).

I still continue churning the matter in my head, and finally, I come to a conclusion.

“Sure. Off to Canterlot we go.” Orchestra the Symphony Master leaps in front of me and waves his baton, the shining words appearing again.

‘Excellent performance!’ he writes. ‘As a reward for your outstanding musical skills, you and Mr. Hollow are allowed any instrument of your choice.’

“Well, that’s no contest,” Hollow states. “I shall choose the violin.” The instrument Orchestra hands to him is very different from the one Hollow played on stage. This one is silvery grey and is shaped like the Nobody symbol, as is the bow. Its strings were almost invisible. I couldn’t help but whistle at the unique design. It was very fitting.

“And I, the lyre,” I conclude. The Samurai takes the violin, opens up one of the zippers on his chest, and throws the violin into the open gap. Hollow’s name is apparently not a misnomer, because the violin just vanishes inside him, like he has some sort of blessed hammerspace upon his person.

Kaileena opens the backpack for me, and I place the lyre inside, the folds of the hammerspace-bearing pack absorbing the thirty-nine-string instrument like a sponge would absorb water. Kaileena closes the pack and I look back at Hollow, Elie, and Eve. I remember that Hollow is, indeed, a human, especially if he knows of their existence.

It’d be sexier if there was a hidden blade in it, like with Khajiit’s arm.

“Do you like MMMMMM-bananas?” I then say, my face contorted to resemble a troll face.

“Ummm..... Ooooookay. Not particularly, no,” he says sounding rather confused.

Well, then. That just confirms that Hollow is not a brony.... Ah, whatever, I’m gonna do it anyways. “Interesting. Because I know one place where you won’t find any bananas.”

“Oh, Celestia, please don’t say it,” Applejack groans. “I’m tired o’ y’all humans an’ yer bananas.”

“Basically, he’s gonna talk about launchin’ ya ‘onnnnnnn tha mooooooon’ or somethin’ like that,” the farm pony answers. “And it’s all because of them humans an’ their ‘Internet’ thingamajigger.”

Hollow looked at me and I could just feel him staring at me like I was insane. “That is going a tiny bit too far into the Shade territory. Don’t go into the Shade territory,” he says, very, very seriously. Disturbingly so.

“Wouldn’t even plan on it, lad,” I say, getting slightly nervous from how solemn Hollow’s tone was. I look at the sky, and the sun is about ¾ across the sky, showing that it’s about three o’clock. I look from the sky towards the castle, then back at my arm. If I want to make it to Canterlot, then I guess I had leave soon before they close the train station.

“Get going.” Hollow suddenly pipes up, as if reading my thoughts. “I can see you are anxious to get moving.” If he could smile, I think he would be smiling. I flash a grin myself, jumping off the stage with Kaileena, who had taken the leisure onto jumping on my back. I grunt as her light, albeit evident, weight becomes a burden upon me.

“Just one more thing before you depart on your own little adventure. A warning,” Hollow says quickly. I don’t like the way he said ‘warning’. “If you encounter a being that looks almost like me, except black and carries four swords, I have one advice for you. Run. Xolhowl shows no mercy towards anything.” He sounds very serious.

“Don’t worry about me,” I say. I stick my right hand out, and with a few mere milliseconds of concentration, I summon Ellipsis back from the Abyss. The scythe barely weighs down my hand, but I can still use it if I’m very careful with it. I then banish it back to whence it came. “I believe I can handle meself.”

“I’ll take your word for it then.” I think he is done now. “Oh, one more thing.” Damnit! “You see, when I came here my soul was broken into small pieces, which were scattered all over. The pieces that I call Soul Fragments can grow their own bodies. From what I’ve seen they are Nobodies, Unversed, maybe even Heartless or Dream Eaters. Anyway, be careful if you ever stumble upon them as some can be evil or hostile by nature. If they don’t bother you, don’t bother them. You should be fine.”

“And I’ll take your word for it, then, Hollow.” I stick out my hand again, and he gives it a shake.

“You’re leaving?!” Rarity says. “You can’t go out in public dress like that!” She waves her hoof over my and Kaileena’s clothes. “I simply won’t allow it.”

My face contorts to appear agitated. DAMNIT, WOMAN. I WANT MAH ARM, AND I WANT IT NOW.

“Perfect!” She cries, grabbing me and Kaileena with her magic and pulling us out of the crowd towards her Carousel Boutique. I waved goodbye to Hollow, Elie, and Eve. Within a minute, we reach the pale unicorn’s house/shop. She opens the door and puts us down, rather unceremoniously, if you ask me.

I get up off of the ground and dust myself off, with Kaileena following my example. “Couldn’t you just change the color scheme?” I ask Rarity.

“Oh, for your tunic and underclothes?” I nod at her. “Well, it would certainly suit you better than just plain old black and white.” Her horn glowed, and with a bright flash of light, I saw that my tunic and undergarments had changed in color completely. The tunic and its hood become a cerulean hue, much like Rainbow Dash’s fur coat. The underclothes, rather than being black, are now a solid silver color. Around my hips, beneath my tunic, is a loincloth that ends in a point, and it is also styled in a blue and silver fashion. I grin a bit at the overall design, and I lean forward to whisper in Rarity’s ear. She gives a small start, but once she realizes my real intentions, she holds still and lets me do what I need. Her eyes raise when I finish whispering.

“Oh, please?” I say sadly, trying to use her method of persuasion against her. “Please please please please please please!?” I jut my lower lip out.

“Oh, curses!” She hollers in a slightly unladylike manner. “Fine. You win.” I smile cheekily at how easy that had been. Her horn glows again, and when the flash of light subsides, I see this upon the loincloth:

“Oh!” Rarity then gasps. “I almost forgot something that would make it much better!” She goes inside the Boutique and comes back a minute later, a pair of small blue earrings in her magical grasp. “Hold still, please?”

“Sorry!” Rarity apologizes as the needles of the earrings pierce the middle of each earlobe and connect with the other ends on the other sides. The pain surges through my ears, but I manage to ignore it. “There! Now you look rather dashing, darling!” She then looks at Kaileena, who seems a bit reluctant in getting a new wardrobe. “And I have just the thing for you!” She exclaims. She goes back inside and comes out again with a bundle of clothes. Now, I was about to say something along the lines of “How can a pony’s clothes fit a non-pony?” But the question gets answered when Rarity unfolds the clothes and, lo and fuckin’ behold, they are crafted to fit a human. Well... as human as Kaileena is. The clothes mainly consist of a tunic similar to mine, yet without the hood, two gold shawls, and a skirt. The color scheme is purple and gold rather than my blue and silver.

“Get it like this?” Rarity interrupts Kaileena. “Originally, it was for a pony out in Trottingham, who would come to collect it in three days, but she has informed me just recently that it was no longer necessary. So, with a bit of exertion, I simply used my magic to change the clothes’ shape. Do you like it?”

Kaileena takes the clothes from her, and stares at them open-mouthed. “I... I LOVE IT!” At once, the Bast throws the clothes behind her and I catch them before they fall as she tackles Rarity in a massive hug. Something is fucking wrong with her if she’s gotta get all lovey-dovey with everyone she meets. If this keeps up, I wouldn’t be surprised if she tries to hug a dragon next.

“Dearie! You’re... crushing me!” She squeaks. Kaileena lets her go and quickly apologizes. Rarity takes a few deep breaths. “Well, why don’t you try it on, dearie?”

“Oh. Well...” the Bast’s face is flushed red with a hint of embarrassment. “Sure. I’ll do it.” She takes the clothes away from me and goes inside to change.

“You know! Your mare- er, girlfriend!” Rarity gets a tad giddy at the G word, but I decide to slow that down to a screeching halt.

“She’s not me girlfriend. To be honest, I’m not sure if she really does like me back. Besides, who in their right mind would go for this?” I point at my scarred face. Rarity smiles sheepishly at the question.

“Erm... guys?” Kaileena’s voice says. Me and Rarity turn our heads to see her and-

The purple clothes, decorated with the yellow tribal markings, aren’t too tight on her, nor are they too loose. Instead, they fit her figure almost perfectly, accenting her curves beautifully. The lavender hue of the tunic and skirt clash magnificently with her hazel eyes and black and white fur. One of the gold shawls is wrapped around her hips, and the other was around her neck.There was a gold necklace around her neck as well, with a purple jewel in the shape of what looks like an Algerian love knot at the end of it. I feel my face go hot at the sight of her.

“It suits you beautifully, darling!” Rarity cries, her work an obvious success.

“It’s... it’s lovely,” I say as genuinely as I can, my breath being taken away by the elegance of the Bast before me.

“Thanks, you guys,” Kaileena says. She walks over to me and, without a warning, she hops on my back again.

“Very well,” I nod. I beat my wings and gain some air. “Bye, Rarity! We’ll see ya soon!”

Our stomachs grumble slightly, for they had not been nourished in several hours. As we fly across the small town, I see in the distance the ever-acclaimed farm known as Sweet Apple Acres. “Let’s get some lunch from over there, shall we?” I suggest. Kaileena nods her assent, and I fly in the direction of the apple farm.

Once I am situated on one of the apple tree’s branches, Kaileena gets off, opens the backpack, and begins loading it with apples from the tree. The near-bottomless bag just swallows the apples whole, leaving more room for more apples. Once the tree is clear, she closes the bag and hopes back on my back again.

“‘Ey!” A voice with a southern drawl hollers. We turn our heads and gulp to see Applejack galloping towards us, an angry look upon her face. “Those ain’t yer apples! Ah want ‘em back!”

I flap my wings and gain airtime again. “Well, that’s just too fuckin’ bad, ain’t it?” I say, my trollface once again equipped as I begin leaving the scene.

“YA CAIN’T DO THIS!” She screams as she bucks a stray apple at us. It would have hit me had I not dipped out of the way.

Shadow: A long and awesome crossover with Doctor D's badass fic, "Quest Of A Nobody". Check it out, y'all: it's incredible.

Leather-Winged Oddity

by Deyeaz

XVI - The Requiems Of Nobodies