//------------------------------// // Ch. 11 - Full circle // Story: The Great and Delicate Trixie // by DogSomeOre //------------------------------// Time rolls around as the snow on the ground get's heavier with every drop. Trixie trots along the streets of Canterlot to a very familiar destination; knowing that tonight will be one that she will do everything she can to overcome. She thinks about the tragic accident that occurred here so many years ago on her first performance and can't let it go. The guilt and pain of every mishap she's ever had comes full circle tonight as she tries to prove herself once and for all that she is a great showmare. Thoughts of all kinds pry there way into Trixie's head as she tries to stay focused and relaxed on what's to come. Ponies from all over will be watching her with skeptical eyes and so will her one and only friend. Anon thinks a lot more highly of Trixie then she herself does and she knows it as well. Lies that she's spewed off to everyone for years and years will only find a way to bite her in the end, this fake persona she puts on can only last so long. Trotting along she finally see's it, the stage that will determine everything tonight. Can she face all the shame and embarrassment that started right here? Flashbacks of her parents and bullies creep into her head unwelcomed and certainly not forgotten. These are the emotions she suppresses and has been for years. Voices are heard from all over as Trixie makes her way up to the mobile stage, though they're drowned out by the overwhelming thoughts scrambling in her brain. She hasn't felt this way since she first started out and it honestly feels fitting if not bittersweet considering the situation she's in. The fear and anxiety build up so rapidly and she honestly doesn't know if she can take it. All she practiced to make this show worthwhile was for him. It's all for him, that's right, every moment she's spent with her companion has felt nothing more then exhilarating and she hopes to show him just who she is. A mask can only stay on for so long but she can't afford to show the cracks peaking through hers. She is 'The Great and Powerful' after all. The noise comes to a silence as Trixie shows herself to the world once again. Standing on stage, she sees faces of all kinds looking in her direction, as if they can see right through her veil of mediocrity and pathetic-ness. She stands facing these ponies all with lives of their own. Jobs, friends, lovers, they're all waiting for this nobody to show them something wonderful, maybe to brighten up a long and stressful day, no not her, she can't make anyone happy, has she ever? Why bother continuing? Why have any reason to go on? Her 'passion' is nothing more then a fantasy conjured up in a mind that wanted nothing but to share the childish wonder she once had. A foolish idea brought down again and again by classmates, teachers, and of course, her parents. Trixie still stands looking upon all these ponies without a word to be said. She just... stands there, thinking. What would it have been like to have a family that loved her? What about people in general? Is she just destined to live a life full of unfulfillment and solitude? How can she act so happy and carefree as the black void sits behind constantly reminding her that she's no good. How out of everyone he was seemingly the happiness that peered through? And she still hasn't the gull to tell him what caused all this pain in the first place. The aches that have pierced her heart for years. To finally have someone willing to be by her side and she still can't say a word? How cowardly can she be. -------*------- You sit afar waiting for Trixie to begin her show, the crowd talks amongst themselves as you look side to side to find the pony that will soon be on her own stage. Happiness filled adrenaline run through as you know this will be the something to get Trixie back in order. She never told you why she was the way she was the night you found her, the night you decided Applejack could wait a little while longer as you tend to the sad mare. Regardless of how she felt though, you have no doubt in your mind that this will make her forget about all the awful things that she was facing. "Which one's are her friends?" You think as you look all around the stage to maybe spot them. The thoughts quickly subside however as you finally see her, the mare that's brimming with confidence and ego. You see her trot along slowly, head facing forward and body moving as elegantly and as straight as you'd imagine from Trixie. The crowd grows increasingly silent as they take note of the showmare's presence trotting along to show them just what all she's got. You see Trixie stand center of the stage looking at everyone in the audience. "I wonder if she see's me?" You think as she studies the mare's and stallion's faces. A spotlight is shined right on her as she stands there, not saying anything. She's still looking at everybody but you notice something off, her hooves start to shake and her body is tense and seemingly frozen. "Is this part of the act?" You think as she appears motionless in front of everyone. The mare's eye's close and as if it happened all in slow motion you see the horrible sight. Her hooves give out underneath her and she slumps to the ground with a thud. No one is speaking and no one is moving. In an instant she collapses. Your mind draws a blank as you come to comprehend the tragedy that you've just witnessed. A night that she would remember forever is now one of misery and confusion. The mare you've spent a whole week with talking, eating, supporting, is now an unmoving body seen right before you. -------*------- You walk back with Trixie once again cradled in your arms. Her soft fur touching your skin as she stays silent within them. It seems like a very familiar situation as you remember when you treated her from her long fall down from a tree; though that was due to her stubborn nature of not wanting help and just getting herself hurt. "Her wagon can't be too far." You think as you make your way to where her stationed house lie. You can't shake the thoughts of all that happened back there and it leaves an unsatisfactory feeling in you. "She should have done great, then why?" Walking across all the RV's and trailer's that litter the area, her home comes in view. Opening the door with one hand whilst caring a living being with another is no easy task but somehow you manage. You flip the lights on and make your way over to her small little bed. Making sure to be careful, you set her frame down slowly and look for any blanket that could lay on top of her. You walk to her closet that's just beside her desk to look for any coverings for the blue mare. The closet reveals several sheets, pillow cases, and blankets for her bed but you also see something beyond that laying in a pile in the corner that seems forgotten. With further inspection it appears to be a wizard hat of some sort along with a coat with a soft fabric lining on the cloth. It's torn and seemingly beat up as far as you can see and holes are punctured all around. Inside the hat it reads 'Trixie's best friend' written with permanent ink. Inside the coat however, a pocket with a crude drawing of a little pony along side two older ponies sit there. On top of the drawing it reads 'my family' also written very crudely. You set them aside for now and tend to Trixie. You've stayed up all night and haven't left her side for a second. The medical personal declared that she only fainted but it didn't alleviate any of your stress. You look behind you from the chair you're sitting in to see the sun reaching up little by little. Trixie's face lay visible and what a face it is. Her snout is scrunched up and she keeps talking to herself in her sleep. She really is cute underneath all that sass. "Anon. Anon wake up." A voice calls out to you. You see Trixie looking right into your eyes, she doesn't look all too thrilled by the look on her face. "Oh great, you're awake." She says, her voice soundly soft and mellow. "I should be saying that to you." You tell her with a worrisome tone. Trixie stares at you and then looks away to the floor in sadness, expressions still showing that same frown. "What happened Trixie? I thought everything was fine. I mean you passed out on the stage floor and had everyone worried." She still looks to the floor, sun shining on her face. "Not to mention all your friends that were also probably really looking forward to your performance." You see your words aren't seeming to make her feel any better as she still looks down, away from you. "....It's fine though. We can just schedule it again for next week. I'm sure if we tell them it just wasn't a good day they'll-" "No Anon." Trixie says to you, face still eyeing the ground with the same static expression. By the tone in her voice she doesn't seem to be acting like herself at all. "I can't. I've never been able to do anything right, I wouldn't be able to start now." "Trixie, what do you mean?" The room stays silent as you look at your unicorn friend with anticipation, waiting to hear what she has to say. She sees you aren't letting up and decides to continue. "I can't... tell you. I can't tell you because I don't...." She stops for a moment, head hunched a couple more inches down to her wooded floor. "Trixie, come on. You can tell me anything, I'm your friend, remember?" You say to her with assurance; a small crack in your voice is heard from the last word that leaves your lips. You both remain silent without a word to be said. You wonder what Trixie has to be thinking right now as she seems so sad. You really didn't want her to remain this way, but you start to feel like putting this whole show on was just adding fuel to her still mysterious fire that seems to bother her. You sit there waiting as the minutes pass by, staring at the face that you've come to know as confident; now looking only a shadow of her former self. Her expression remain stagnant, her body slouched. "I need to be alone." She finally says. "But Trixie-" "Please Anon." Her eyes can't muster to look up at you as she speaks to the ground. You hesitate before getting up. You see the mare that you've come to know as this cocky, prideful pony, now diminished into a sad, depressive soul. A part of you doesn't want to leave her here but you feel like you've already done enough. You walk to the door slowly and close the wall between you and your blue friend.