Though I’d never been to one myself, I recognized a party when I saw one. Suffice to say, it could not have been further down on the list of things I was expecting to happen when I walked in there. Especially for something I didn’t want to make a big deal about.
I lowered my gaze and quickly scanned the room, recognizing almost everyone. Pinkie stood proudly behind the cake with her arms in the air like she's cheering, the CMC beside her were doing something similar, with Rainbow hovering next them with her hands held to her chest awkwardly.
The only one I didn’t recognize was a rather bulky pony-person standing at the opposite end of the counter; she's the only one other than Fluttershy who wasn't cheering. She wasn't much taller than me, but she’s still fairly large. She looked strong and athletic like Rainbow, but Rainbow Dash’s body was lean, while hers was more muscly. I could actually see the outline of her bulging arm and leg muscles, the rest of her body being relatively toned in comparison. Her orange coat blended well with her emerald eyes and blonde hair, which was tied in a ponytail and mostly covered with a cowboy hat. Her plaid shirt, skinny jeans, and boots made her look like a cowgirl.
“Chara?”
I heard Fluttershy’s voice, but couldn’t bring myself to turn to her. All of their eyes were on me, watching me, expecting me to react.
“W-wow, you guys…” I clutched my necklace as I tried to keep the nervousness out of my voice, and failed miserably. “Really surprised me, ha ha.”
Nice Chara, real nice.
“Yah don’t seem that surprised at all!” The yellow one with exclaimed.
“Oh no, did we do something wrong? Maybe if we all said surprise in sync?” The marshmallow one asked out loud, whose name was Rarity’s sister named Sweetie Belle.
“Well, I guess we’re not getting cutie marks for being really good at surprising.” The orange one muttered, I’m pretty sure she’s Scootaloo. I lightly bit the inside of my cheek at the memory of her having a chunk bitten out of her wing that likely would have prevented her from flying. I’m glad I was able to prevent that from becoming a permanent reality, even if it costed me my life.
The smile on Pinkie’s face faded as she lowered her arms, an expression I couldn’t quite read. It only lasted a second as she leaped over the counter and began bouncing towards me with that ear to ear grin, though I think I’m the only one that noticed.
“Hiya, it’s nice to meetcha! I’m Pinkie Pie, Ponyville’s resident Party Planner!”
The pep in her voice was nothing short of vibrant, yet it fit her so well I’m not sure how I expected her to sound any other way. Unlike a certain smiley trash bag, her smile and joyfulness felt genuine, not a mask she put on; her happiness was almost infectious, making me nearly forget the minor anxiety I was experiencing just a few minutes ago.
“I’m Chara Dreemurr, I’ve heard a lot about you.” she feverishly shook my hand with so much energy that my entire body vibrated. It took me a few seconds to speak after she let go. “I, uh, really like your toothpaste?”
Her eyebrows raised and lips briefly pursed, then she snorted like I’d told the best joke she’d ever heard. “Toothpaste? Are you crazy? That’s, like, the least thing I’m known for!”
“Well Pinkie, to be fair, ya are known for some pretty weird stuff.” The orange one with the cowboy hat said as she stepped forward, the drawl in her voice almost identical to the small yellow one except deeper.
“Hey there, partner. I’m Applejack, but you can call me AJ.” admittedly, I felt a small blot of fear when she offered her hand after what happened with Rainbow. To my surprise, although I could feel each callus on her hand; she had a really soft grip.
“Ahm sure you’ve heard this more times than you can count, but darn it, it don’t sit right with me if I don’t thank ya.” AJ gently rests her hand on my shoulder as she made direct eye contact with me. “So, from the bottom of muh heart, thank ya for saving Applebloom. Her, Big Mac, and Granny are the only family I've got. Ah don’t know what ah’d do without ‘em.”
The yellow pony, who I now know as Applebloom, blushed a bit and looked away awkwardly. My body went rigid at the contact and I’m sure she noticed it, but the sincereness in her words made it hard to focus on anything else. Out of all the thank you’s I had gotten so far, that one felt the most sincere.
It made me realize how important those three really were, and it was the first time I didn't feel the need to say that I only did it to be selfish.
“You’re welcome. Don’t mention it, seriously.”
She looked like she was about to say something, but my vision suddenly filled with a pair of bright baby blue eyes, a spark in them that I found very similar to Twilight’s.
“I’ve got like a bazillion questions for you! Can humans eat candy? What’s your favorite kind of candy? What about donuts, muffins, cakes? I made a cake for you but I went with vanilla because I didn’t know what you liked but I-”
Her tangent got interrupted when Fluttershy grabbed her by her ear, which looked more painful with their pony ears than with mine. Making the first time I'm glad I had such weird ears.
“Pinkie, I need to speak with you in private.”
“Ow, owkay, ow.”
I couldn’t help but smirk a bit at the stern motherly tone in her voice, once again finding myself thankful to her. I need to figure out some way to pay her back, or it was going to eat away at me.
“Yeah, sorry about that. Pinks can be really overwhelming sometimes, but she means well. You’ll get used to it.”
Rainbow flew over with a plate in her hands, enjoying the cake that actually looked pretty good. Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever had cake. Toriel didn’t bake a lot besides pies, not that I ever complained.
“Hey,” I turned to her as my body reminded me with slight hunger pains how little I’ve actually had to eat recently. It was also easier for me to stay calm if I focused on one of them and try to pretend there weren't multiple pairs of eyes on me at any given moment. “There aren’t any flowers in that cake, right?”
“Pfft, I wish. Pinkie didn’t want to put any in because she wasn’t sure what you ate, even making it with a bunch of substitute stuff in case you’re allergic to anything. I mean, Pinkie made it so it's still a great cake, so it's cool I guess.”
“Hey, didn’t ya say you’re on a diet?” AJ asked with a raised eyebrow and a cross of her arms.
“Yeah, but…” she paused as she finished whatever was left of the cake. “Today’s my cheat day.”
“That’s your third cheat day this week. Maybe if ya had less cheat days, ya wouldn’t have had to use your wings to beat me in some parts of that Iron Pony competition.”
“Hey!” she shouted as she laid the now empty plate on a nearby counter, getting up in her face and pressing her finger against AJ’s chest. “Pegasi rely on our wings for a bunch of stuff! Asking us not to use our wings is like asking earth ponies not to use their….” Rainbow’s expression dropped as she backed away, tapping her finger against her mouth and then shrugging. “hands I guess?”
I didn’t hear whatever AJ’s retort was as I’d started walking towards the cake. I could tell by the smiles on their faces that those two were good friends, most ponies in this town so far have been nothing but friendly. It was making me start to wonder if there were any bad ponies in this world at all.
There wasn't anything special about the cake, but I couldn’t help but be a little excited since I’d never had any before. I let out a sigh of relief when I saw the cake was already pre-cut, handling a knife would make me really uncomfortable right now, probably for the rest of my life.
Just a few feet away, the CMC were whispering, or at least trying to whisper, about something. Making various expressions and gestures, before Applebloom pointed at Scootaloo, and then Sweetie pushed her towards me.
“You ask her! She pushed you out of the way so you wouldn’t get your wing chomped!”
“Fine! Geez.”
As I put one slice on a plate, Scootaloo approached me with the other two right behind her. She’s obviously nervous to talk to me, which I didn’t get at first. Then I thought about it a bit and realized that, to them, I really do look like a hero that came in and saved their lives for no reason. They’re kids after all, and they’re really impressionable if Asriel is anything to go by.
“So, Chara. W-what’s your cutie mark?”
I paused as I cut off a piece of the cake with a fork and had it halfway to my mouth, trying to register what she just asked me.
“My...my what?”
“You know, your cutie mark? Humans do have cutie marks, don’t they?”
The term ‘cutie marks’ sounded so silly I almost questioned if they’re joking or not. The fact that I’m now living in a town full of pony people, about to eat a cake in a building that looked like a giant gingerbread house, made it pretty obvious their definition of ‘silly’ differed greatly from mine.
“I...maybe? I have amnesia, so I can’t really say. Can you describe what it is to me? It might jog something.”
It's possible that I have whatever they’re talking about and I just know it by a different name. I directed my attention back to the cake, putting the first piece that I cut off earlier into my mouth. The texture and taste of it were better than I thought it would be, it's sweet like candy but still creamy. I think I see why others like it so much, however Rainbow’s right, it would be better as something other than vanilla.
“Cutie marks are awesome! They show up when you’re doing something you like in a flash of light that’s super cool!”
“Yeah, and they tell ya what you’ll be good at for the rest of ya life!”
“Plus, they’re way better than being a blank flank.”
Applebloom and Sweetie said as they walked up beside Scootaloo, having completely lost their agitation. Clearly, they’re very passionate about cutie marks. If they’re telling the truth about them and they really are things that appear and tell you what you’re good at, I can kind of understand why. It would have certainly made my life easier if I had something like that.
“I don’t think so? Maybe if you show me?” I didn’t even look at them when I asked that, my interest more in my first cake than some magical mark that tells me my talent.
“Well, we don’t have any of our own...yet. But I know someone with an epic cutie mark. Hey Rainbow?”
Rainbow stopped in the middle of saying something to Applejack, turning to Scootaloo. “Yeah, squirt?”
“Chara hasn’t seen a cutie mark before, can you show her yours?”
“Woah, seriously?” Rainbow asked me as her eyes widened. I shrugged. “Yeah, gimme a sec.”
She flew over to us while still facing Applejack, which I think was impressive judging from how poorly Scootaloo failed to suppress her squealing. Rainbow pointed at her face and then at AJ’s in a ‘I’m watching you gesture’, AJ responded with a ‘come and get me’ gesture.
“Oh, she’s gonna get it tomorrow! Anyway, you really haven’t seen a cutie mark before? Do humans not have them?”
“Don’t know, amnesia.”
“Oh yeah. Geez, sorry.” She turned to her side and lifted her shorts to her upper thigh, revealing a mark that I wouldn’t exactly describe as ‘cute’. It's not much more than a small cloud with a lighting bolt coming out of it, the lighting bolt itself was completely rainbow instead of yellow or blue. In fact, the same pattern of Rainbow as her hair.
“I got this baby doing my first ever sonic rainboom. To date, the most awesome thing I’ve ever done.”
“The most awesome thing you’ve ever done...is getting a butt tattoo?”
Rainbow stared at me, completely still except for the beating of her wings. Then she burst out laughing, somehow laying on her back in midair with her hands clutching her chest like she’s struggling to breathe.
“Oh my gosh, haaha, butt tattoo?! That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard them called!”
“They’re not butt tattoos, Chara! They’re cutie marks and they’re important!” Sweetie stated with her cheeks slightly blushing.
She seemed embarrassed to say that, Scootaloo wasn't even trying to suppress her giggling, and Applebloom just looked...confused.
“What’s a butt?”
“It’s another word for your flank.” Sweetie offered.
“Why would anyone wanna get a tattoo on their butt that’s not a cutie mark?”
“That’s...a question for your sister.” Rainbow said between breaths, wiping a tear from her eye.
Applebloom began walking towards AJ, who had been watching us. I snickered a bit when I saw her open her mouth and Applejack’s tough exterior drop at the question, eyes darting back and forth as she stuttered something I couldn’t hear. I didn’t really get why someone would get a tattoo on their butt either, but it was surprisingly funny to watch Applejack flustered.
After quickly finishing the rest of my cake, I found myself a little envious of how ignorant she was. That kind of innocence is something I could never get back, I’m not sure if I ever had it to begin with.
“Well, whatever they’re called,” I put the plate back on the counter and grabbed one box of apple juice that sat there, one of my favorite drinks from my time at Toriel’s. “I don’t think humans have them. I could be an abnormality, and I can’t remember other humans, but I’m pretty sure I won’t get one.”
It's hard for me to lie about this without revealing I didn't have amnesia. Humans and monsters never had any marks on their body like that, but I couldn’t say that. I really need to sit down and write a list of hypothetical questions I might be asked and try to come up with answers, or at least give more thought to them first.
“That’s...kind of sad.” Sweetie muttered.
“Why’s that?”
“Well, if you don’t have a cutie mark to tell you what you’re good at, how do you know what to do in life?”
The sound of me putting the straw into the carton was in sync with the feeling of my stomach dropping at her words, my fingers shaking as I pinched the straw. A wave of intense queasiness overcame me as I leaned against the counter.
“I don’t know. w-I never really thought about it.” her question made me a lot more uneasy than I was expecting. I always did my best to avoid thinking about humans, but now being asked about them made it hard.
Humans never really had a goal in life, most of them just focused on surviving. The period I came from was difficult to survive in, though I couldn't say if the same was true for when Frisk lived. Some would dedicate their lives to religion, others didn’t believe there’s any purpose at all, just living how they want to and giving into any impulse and desire they had.
Then, there were those like me, who committed their life and death to something as petty as hate fueled revenge.
“What do I…” but now I’m alive again. The only human in this world and everything I do will form impressions about my species. What I say, what I do, who I am. Who am I? And… “want to do?”
“Did I ask a bad question?”
“Uhm, no Scoots. I just don’t think Chara was expecting you to ask her about her purpose in life. Let’s...hm.” Rainbow looked around the room, glancing at Pinkie and Fluttershy whispering about something out of earshot, and then at Applejack who appeared to still be struggling to talk. “Let’s go over to AJ and see how she’s doing explaining why someone would get a tattoo on their butt.”
Rainbow and Scootaloo went over to them, with Scootaloo halting for a moment as she closed her eyes and fluttered her wings. For a moment, her body actually lifted itself off the ground, only to land back with a dull thud. She sighed dejectedly and followed Rainbow.
“Hey,” Sweetie looked back at me as she began walking away. “Sorry about that. Scootaloo’s a little insensitive sometimes. For what it's worth, I think you’re pretty awesome, even without a cutie mark.”
She gave me a small smile that almost melted my heart, and then caught up with the others. Applejack put her hands on her hips and said something to Rainbow, who snorted and gave a retort I couldn’t hear.
I took a long sip from the box. Sweetie's words made me feel a bit better, but it didn’t get rid of the nagging questions that plagued me. My main goal right now was to learn everything I could about this world, and maybe even how I got here, but after that? Nothing came to mind. Do I just sit around Fluttershy’s, playing with animals until I die of old age? As peaceful as that sounded, the idea just didn't sit right with me.
Of course, I have to obsess with thinking about this now. When I’m at a party that they threw because I saved them, or probably just to try to help me fit in and feel better about being here. My terrible timing strikes again.
“Great job, Chara. You just ruined the party with your existential crisis.”
“That’s no biggie. I’ve done that once or twice.”
I got startled and nearly jumped at the sudden sound, the second time that’s happened in recent memory. This time it's Pinkie, and she seems a lot more toned down. She’s still smiling and practically radiating joy, but not bouncing and almost literally shaking with energy. I’m guessing Fluttershy told her I’m liable to be overwhelmed and to calm down a bit around me. Which, to be fair, I completely am.
“Really? You seem like you’ve got it all together. You set up this entire party in half a day.”
“Please. On average I could set up something like this in an hour, I’ve just been a little off recently. You’ll see if you stick around here long enough.” she paused as she picked up one of the apple boxes. “I’m hoping we can be friends. I’ve got a four thousand two hundred and zero win/loss for friends right now. It helps that I love making everyone I see smile.”
I smirked as I watched Rainbow and Applejack exchange banter just out of earshot. “Well, if I’m being honest, I don’t really know what being a friend means, other than trusting someone. I can’t remember if I ever had any before, it's almost too much how nice everyone in this town is.”
Not entirely a lie, Asriel was more like a brother to me than a friend, even if I knew the difference. Then again, I didn’t know enough about friendship to say there’s much of a difference. I watched countless times as Frisk befriended everyone in The Underground, but that didn’t mean I understood it any better. Much like most of the things he did.
“You’re overthinking it, silly. Being a friend isn’t something you try at, you just do it. Playing games, pulling pranks, just hanging out with whomever you like to and enjoying it. If you push it and think of it as a chore, you’re already doing it wrong.”
“Thanks, Pinkie. I’ll work on it.” I said sarcastically.
She snorted as she turned to me, her smile dropping and eyebrows knitting. “I don’t like how good you are at faking your smiles.”
My heart skipped a beat at the sudden drop in her voice, I questioned for a second if it was even her that said it. I lowered my gaze to the straw, unable to bring myself to keep looking at her.
“What do you mean?”
“I know other ponies don’t take me seriously most of the time, but part of making others happy is understanding why they’re sad. I pay attention to everyone that attends my parties, and you...haven’t given a single genuine smile since you walked in.”
My mouth opened and closed multiple times as I tried to say something, but I couldn’t form words as they never left my mind. My body remained in an uncomfortable turmoil, breathing raggedly and unable to loosen my grip on the box.
“Fluttershy cares about you a lot, and she wants to help you the way she’s helped a lot of animals, but she doesn’t know how. I get it if you don’t want to talk about what’s wrong, but no one can help you if you don’t.”
“I…” the words struggled to come out, I barely managed to keep my voice from cracking. What should I even say? It sounded like she knew I didn't really have amnesia, but does she? Should I bother lying, or is she going to just see through that too? “Don’t know how.”
The silence afterwards made the knots in my chest tighter. I couldn't even understand why I’m so suddenly afraid. Am I really that bothered by people being worried about me?
“Then take your time. It’s ok to not be ok, Chara. You can’t appreciate being happy if you’ve never been sad, I know that better than anyone else should. Just remember to ask for help when you need it, because someone really cares about you.”
I shuddered at how close her words were to some I’ve heard before. I’m starting to think that this world goes out of its way to make sure I don’t forget where I’m from. Rainbow’s laughing brought my attention back to them as I lifted my head, pulling me out of my near stupor. Applejack had calmed down a bit and they’re exchanging banter, Scootaloo and Sweetie were enjoying it. Applebloom was also, but she’s clearly still a bit frustrated at whatever lack of an answer she got from AJ.
It amazes me how well they get along and how kind they are. I couldn't stop my irrational fears and paranoia anymore now than I used to, but at least this time I’m surrounded by good people, or ponies in this case.
Hopefully, I won’t mess it up this time.
“Pinkie, can you do me a favor?” I asked as I turned around to face the counter. My chest raised and fell as I took a deep breath, placing the box on it and tightly gripping the sides.
“Sure!”
The pep in her voice came back instantaneously, like she flipped a switch. It actually scared me a little how quickly she could switch between serious and silly. I picked up the plate from earlier and put another slice of cake on it, closing my eyes and focusing on the happiest moment I can think of.
The day I first met Asriel.
“I think….I think I’d like to have a party with you and everyone else again. But next time,” I opened them and took a bite from the cake, trying my best to capture the pleasantness that memory gave me with a smile. The most genuine one I can muster.
“Do you think you can make it a chocolate cake?”
Pinkie let out a slight gasp, then smiled.
“Okie Dokie Lokie!”