Author's note: Sorry it took so long guys! Really wanted to prepare properly for this as we're sort of moving into the new act of this story!
Back when Celestia and Discord were still a new couple, in Celestia's and Luna's posh quarters...
"But Tia, I don't want to babysit your bratty little sister!" whined a young Discord.
"And sister, we don't need to be babysat! Especially not from your ugly coltfriend!" whined Lady Luna, a little but very loud and rambunctious filly, who lacked a cutie mark.
"Look who's calling me ugly..." grumbled Discord sarcastically
"WE WILL BITE YOU, DRACONEQUUS!!" screamed Luna, the two staring daggers at each other. But Lady Celestia got in between them.
"Now stop that you two," she said sternly, "Unfortunately, I have some official business to attend to and Luna's usual babysitter isn't available, so Discord, I need you to take up the responsibility of taking care of her for tonight,"
"But why me??" Discord whined again, "Can't it be one of the maids, or Clover the Clever or something!?"
"Discord, I've already asked everybody else, and they're busy as well," she said with a sigh, "besides, this will be a good opportunity for you to learn some responsibility,"
"Bah! Responsibility-crepuscularity!" he complained, "What makes you think Luna won't eat her own tail after I'm done with her?"
Celestia smirked and retorted, "What makes you think you won't eat your own tail after babysitting my little sister?"
"Tis true, what makes thee thinketh thou wilst not muncheth on thine own tail?" parroted Luna flamboyantly.
Discord raised an eyebrow, "Celestia, are you seriously challenging me to babysit your sister? Really?"
"I've never backed down from your immature games, have I?" said Celestia, and she leaned, "Who knows, if you do a good job, you might be... "and she leaned even closer, "rewarded..."
The sheer proximity of her lips, once again, terrified him. "Okay, okay! Don't kiss me in front of your sister, sheesh!"
Celestia is an absolutely gorgeous pony, but for some bizarre reason, when she puckers her lips, it turns into a beast that scares even Discord himself. To tell her this would be a disaster of course.
Said alicorn turned to her sister, "Now Luna, I know you and Discord haven't seen eye-to-eye for, well, ever, but I trust you'll be a good little filly while I'm away, won't you?"
Luna looked away, frowning, before saying reluctantly, "Okay..."
"And Discord, I can trust you'll be a responsible pony?" she inquired matronly. Discord practically mimicked Luna's reluctance before mumbling, "Okay..." as well.
Celestia's door, creaked open from the inside, with Luna's head popping in, with Cadance underneath, and Twilight below. Luna asked, "Tia, are you alright- oh Tia..."
The three saw a sorry sight of Celestia laid on her mattress, tears stained on her face, aimlessly chewing cake, her muzzle covered in frosting.
She sees the three and shyly sniffed, wiping her face, "Oh, hello girls, come in, I must apologize for my dreadful state..."
"That's okay, Princess," replied Twilight (still in the outfit), and approached her and cuddled her side, which Celestia returned with gentle gusto.
Luna was all business however.
"To inform you sister, Discord has been swiftly captured and imprisoned, a lot easier than we expected actually," she said, "In fact, he just stopped and gave up silently, he did not even insult me in anyway, no brute-na, princess of the fright, not even mooh-na even!"
Celestia nodded quietly, "I am quite sure a lot is going through his mind as well, and I trust you didn't hurt him too severely?"
"Hurt him?" Luna seemed almost offended, "Sister, we are in a new age where we cannot simply punish ponies at a sudden whim!"
This brought a little smile to her face, "That's good to hear that you're not resorting to vio-"
"Neigh, we decided to have a public poll on what Discord's punishment should be!" Luna happily exclaimed, "Imagine that, the Canterlot castle staff voting on what Discord's penalty shalt be, quite wonderful isn't it sister!"
And Celestia sighed, there's no getting to her sister sometimes.
Cadance approached her and said, "Well, since all the troubles has finally slowed down a bit, we thought we'd do something to cheer you up!"
"Indeed Mi Amora Cadenza!" replied Luna, and shouted at the door, "Bring in the first suitor!"
Celestia squinted, "My little ponies, I do not need to be-"
But the suitor came in, and it was Applejack.
Celestia wondered what was the meaning of this, but Applejack announced, "Princess, ah' heard' y'all had some trouble with the stallions, 'specially with a certain Draconequus, so ah' thought I'd present to y'all a suitor that ah'd think y'all would quite like! Introducing my big brother, Big Macintosh!"
And with some inappropriate fanfare, entered a large red stallion with a yoke on his neck with a bowtie on it, looking rather sheepish and silly. But Applejacks's not letting the momentum down.
"This ere's the strongest stallion this side of Equestria! But don't let his size fool ya', he's a real sweetheart on the inside, ain't that right, Big Mac?" she said, elbowing him in jest at his side.
Big Macintosh gulped. and whimpered out, "Eeyup..."
"Thank you for your generosity, Applejack, and Big Macintosh, I'm sure you're quite the stallion, but I don't think we're meant for each other, perhaps you should find somepony else?"
"Eeyup," he instinctively said, which got him a sharper elbow from his sister.
"Big Mac, you're supposed to attract the Princess, not detract from 'er!" hissed Applejack.
"The next suitor, is in fact somepony whom you are acquainted with sister," Luna said, "Soarin of the Wonderbolts!"
And flew in were Spitfire and Soarin in their ceremonial uniforms, with Soarin looking particularly confident and majestic with the shirt and tie combo.
"As you know, Princess," began Spitfire, presenting a Soarin posing in all sorts of ways, "Soarin here is a confident and brave stallion, one of the best flyers in Equestria, not to mention one of its friendliest personalities! All you have to do is feed him pie..."
And she actually whipped out a pie, which Soarin readied himself for. She threw it up in the air and Soarin pounced up and gulped the thing in a slightly messy swoop, landing like a slightly bulky gymnast.
"...and he's yours to keep for life!" she finished.
Celestia's reaction was actually of concern, "Oh dear, Spitfire, Soarin, I'm sorry to embarrass the two of you like this, but I thought you two liked each other..."
The whole room froze, with Spitfire and Soarin slowly turning to look at each other by the corners of their eyes.
"Look, Soarin, I'm not interested in dating again," said Celestia, "On the other hoof, the way you two look at each other after a workout, how comfortable you two are with each other, I even saw with my own two needlessly sharp eyes at a certain wedding how you, Soarin, wanted to give Spitfire a little gift but was too shy to do so and you sadly hid it away.
"What was that gift, if I may so boldly ask?"
Soarin's face began to redden a lot, tugging on his tie. "Oh, ummm... it was a locket, your majesty, of a picture of me and Spitfire, pretty cheesy, yeah, I know..."
Spitifre looked at him straight, "A locket of us, Soarin?"
"Yeah, it's pretty dumb, I know, but you meant a lot to-" Spitfire placed a hoof on his mouth.
"Permission to speak freely, your majesty?" asked Spitfire.
"But of course my little pony,"
She hugged Soarin in a vice grip, reddening his face even further, fire blazing in her eyes, "Mine!"
Celestia nodded in agreement, "Fly away on the wings of love, my little ponies,"
Spitfire's expression softened in gratitude, "Thanks for understanding princess," And she flew him away out a window, while the echoing of 'Yours?' and 'Mine,' and 'Yours?' and 'Mine,' repeated until it went away.
"How do you do that, big sister?"
"Helping ponies even when your own personal life is in tatters?"
Celestia shrugged, "Hundreds of years of experience I guess. Now let's stop this-"
"Bring in the last suitor!!" bellowed Luna, and fanfare followed.
"...Shining Armor, really?" scrutinized Celestia, and Shining Armor looked even more sheepish than Big Macintosh did, "Twilight, what is the meaning of this?"
"Well, we thought that if all fails," Twilight began a bit more enthusiastically then Celestia would've like,"we'd have Shining Armor be your coltfriend for the day! He is the best stallion we know after all! Hey Shining, use your wooing powers to woo the princess!"
Shining Armor actually looked at Cadance, either for permission or careful approval.
Cadance nodded and Shining Armor clumsily muttered, "Umm, Princess, your cutie marks are really... round?"
Big Macintosh replied, "Eeyup,"
Luna looked perplexed. Cutie marks can be seen as attractive?, she thought.
And Twilight was Twilight. "Oh Shining, that's so nice of you to say that about Princess Celestia!"
Celestia smiled at her, and nuzzled Twilight, which brought a 'squee' out of her. "Thank you for saying that, Captain, but I think that's enough attempts at courting,"
"It is your decision, sister, and we shall respect it," said Luna, "but now you must rest, the rest of us shall handle Discord's affairs,"
Celestia nodded and they all began to leave her quarters. Twilight got up as well, but Celestia gently blanketed her with her wing.
"Twilight, I know this will make me sound like such an old, heartbroken mare," she pleaded, "But could you stay with me by my side a little longer, just like how it was when you were a filly?"
Her eyes literally ballooned with pure joy. "WOULD I- I mean, anything for you princess,"
And she laid by her side once again, and Celestia prodded her plastic wings, and said, "Oh Twilight, you look so cute with the diaper on,"
Twilight giggled. "Yeah, I know,"
"Hi, I'm Captain Shining Armor! And I think Celestia's cutie marks are rooound!!"
"Hey, she's practically my boss, Cadance! You don't say things like that to your boss! I felt weird, okay!?"
It was a rather dinky dungeon Discord was in, but the chains that held his limbs and neck were clearly enchanted. But the weight he placed on himself as he laid by its dingy wall was far more than the chains.
...DOES IT MATTER IF IT BEGAN WITH A LOVE SPELL...
...you ungrateful- no, no I apologize...
"...the echoes heavy
stacking on the past echoes
mask of confusion..."
-was what he aimlessly muttered to himself.
And then Luna opened the cell door and appeared before him most severely. He looked away.
"Well Discord, this is the end of the road for thee," began Luna haughtily, "A second time released and a second time squandered. Any last words before I sentence you for your past transgressions and for insulting my fellow royal pony?"
A pause, then he spoke weakly, "... Just one, one question,"
"Why were you given a second chance and not me? I mean, I've been released by accident, twice, what about you, why did she save you?"
This took Luna back a bit, and she herself spoke weakly, "You know of the Nightmare Moon incident then,"
"I could feel its dark presence that night, you know. That spark of evil in full force. Nearly broke my out of my prison, but you were too far away and too preoccupied with Tia. Heh, funny, I should be mocking you about it... but I just don't have it in me anymore,"
She looked at him, and he was right. Luna has never, ever, ever seen him look so pathetic as he does now. Eyes glazed, slouching, face solemn, barely a sprite of energy. Even his welt looked depressed.
"Celestia and I have spoken about this at lengths before, especially after you were sealed a second time. Her reasons, essentially, was that Equestria needed the night princess again, for true harmony in Equestria.
"And you, Celestia told me she simply could not see how you could be a part of Equestria again, that helping you redeem yourself is too far off, even compared to me. Then came that cursed love spell..."
"So that's why. It's because I didn't fit in," he muttered bleakly.
"Let me finish, Discord. That was what she thought at first, but then she realized-"
"-but then I realized that there is a place for you, Discord," interrupted Celestia, walking into the dungeon.
Her presence alerted him and he stood up, "Celestia! I-"
"No, let me show you what I mean, Discord," she said firmly, eyes hard as steel, and as royal as her crown.
"But before that, we sentence him!" exclaimed Luna.
"No Luna, no sentencing,"
"But the staff voted...!" she whined.
"You never let me have my fun!"
"Alright, alright, let's hear what the public voted,"
"Ho ho, with the staff involved, the fun will be multiplied by ...warmly tarred and then lightly feathered!? By Equestria, ponies these days are far too nice!"
"That's what I thought,"
Author's note: Firstly, that was a haiku Discord muttered; I'm using this fic also to experiment with text structure and online reading. There is a particular scene at the end of this story that's gonna' be the apex of that.
Secondly, Next chapter coming up soon!
Thirdly, my jokes are weird, aren't they?
Fourthly, the diaper will never end...