//------------------------------// // Fortyone // Story: Under The Northern Lights // by CoastalSarv //------------------------------// When Spike woke up Twilight the next morning, the Jarl and his small entourage was gone. A small fire was burning in the middle of the kota hut and three soldiers were lying around it having their umpteenth jug of coffee.   "What time is it?" Twilight asked, yawning.   "Almost nine o'clock," said Spike with his mouth full. "There’s breakfast left. Porridge, jam and that smelly tar they call coffee."   When Twilight pulled herself out of her blankets and up to the fire, the soldiers straightened up and gave her a jug of coffee and a bowl of porridge with a generous dollop of jam. The porridge was semolina, and it took Twilight a couple of spoons to realise that this probably wasn’t made in Tarandroland.   So it has to be plunder.The thought made the porridge taste even worse, even if she should have been used to it now. She ate it anyway and licked the spoon.   "So, you’re my guards?" she said casually to the soldiers, speaking Poatsi.   "Yes ma'am," said one of them.   "Your escort, ma'am," another corrected.   "Could you escort me to a place where I can wash up?" she said.   They looked at each other.   "With warm water, please," she added.   "I don't think there is a place like that," one of them said.   "Yet," another added. "There’s a bathhouse, but the sauna isn't fired up until the afternoon."   "But we could boil a pot of water for you, and you could use it to wash yourself in the rinsing-room of the bathhouse," the third added. "That’ll be more fitting for a lady than to wash here and roll in the snow."   Luckily, I'm not Rarity, Twilight thought.   "Or we could start the sauna right now, but that’ll take longer, at least an hour," the reindeer continued.   "Very well, that will do! It's not like I have much planned for the morning anyway," she said with affected haughtiness. "Spike, bring my toilet bags, some new clothes and my towel!"   "Um, yes Twilight - I mean, mistress," said Spike, licking jam from his claws and raking together the requested gear as best as he could. That is, he took the whole set of saddlebags. The bathhouse, despite being meant to hold steam and fire, was made of the same coarse logs as the other fixed buildings in the camp.   "And this is not a fire hazard?" Twilight asked.   "No, ma’am" said one of the reindeer. "We’ve built saunas out of wood since time began. It's just a matter of taking care of the fire."   "Besides," said another, "wood and water together are sacred." They all nodded piously.   Twilight didn't protest much, it was just a reflection. But the soldier's words made her think.   "Because reindeer were carved of old pine by the sea and snow herself," she mumbled, thinking of the vast shape that was Karhu-Akka.   "Beg your pardon, ma'am?" said the soldier.   "Nothing, carry on," Twilight said.   The bathhouse was big. Not only did it hold two large sauna rooms, but there was also a washroom with basins and a big washtub. There was apparently a tank on the roof, the water being pumped up from a stream by whoever had irritated the officers most, "but we use snow if possible." There was a huge pile of firewood in the back covered by a small roof jutting out from the bathhouse.   While the soldiers busied themselves with the fire, Twilight and Spike sat on a log behind the building.   "So what we do today is wash up?" said Spike.   "Yeah," said Twilight, keeping her voice down. "I want to leave soon. We'd better be in good shape in case something happens on the way."   "Soon like today?" said Spike.   "Maybe," said Twilight. "Probably. There are still some things I'd like to know..."   One of the soldiers came out and picked some more wood.   "Enjoying the view, ma'am?" he said, pointing to the forest behind the house, which stretched away towards the distant mountains.   "Oh yes," Twilight said. "I bet you could walk... or ski... all the way to the Everfrost Glacier."   "Not really, no, ma'am," said the soldier. "There's a steep cliff, higher than most trees, half a mile inland. You have to follow that a far bit north or south before you can get up the mountains."   "Isn't that good for a military base?" said Twilight. "I mean, that's a pretty good defense, right?"   "Yes, ma’am, but it also means you cannot escape in that direction," said the soldier. "It's not like I’m revealing a military secret if I tell you any smart attack is gonna come from the sea or the south. Any enemy would know that."   I didn't know that, Twilight thought, but I guess Ukko's deer do have maps over their own country. The secret was that the base is here, not what “here” looks like.   "Are you waiting for an attack?" she asked.   "We're prepared if one comes," said the soldier proudly. "But no, the Jarl hasn't said he expects one, and neither have the other officers."   He hesitated a while, then turned to Twilight Sparkle.   "Is one coming?" he said.   "And how would I know that?" Twilight said, ice in her stomach.   "You're a sorceress," said the soldier as if it was obvious.   Twilight frowned, then it dawned on her.   To him, a user of magic is a seer.   "I have no idea," she said, honestly. "I have no idea."   Once I would have known, but not now, she thought. There are surely ways to win this, but we'd have to change tactics, and even then many more reindeer and ponies would die. And there would be almost no chance to recruit any surrenders to the important fight, the one against Winter. I’m no longer sure attacking this camp as the first act of the war against winter is a good idea. “What were you talking about?” said Spike as the soldier left. “About how the land looks in that direction,” Twilight said. “He said you can’t leave that way.” “Good thing we don’t have to,” said Spike. Twilight hadn’t had the chance to test a real sauna yet, though like her assistant she was used to steam baths. It was pleasant under the circumstances. Unlike the one Spike had talked about, this one hadn’t been warmed up with smoke, but just with hot air and steam. It was enough to sweat out and cleanse yourself, body, mind and soul. She rinsed herself afterwards, first with boiled water, then with cold, pure snow. She felt relaxed and calm. The only downside was that the soldiers had turned down her offer to have a bath as well. While fairly calm and polite, she guessed they wanted to be on their guard because they were guarding her. She wasn’t sure whether she was offended because they didn’t trust her, or if she was worried because this meant her guards were more alert. In any case it made her uneasy. Spike, who could bathe in lava, thought the heat was pleasant but not much to care about. It mostly energized him, and he brushed his scales very carefully, shedding several old ones. He had complained about itches for a while and this seemed to help. Thus refreshed he became very talkative: about the trip to the forest with Vigg and Saga, about trips they had made home in Equestria, about how you could cook on a sauna hearth and how it was a shame they didn’t have any pinecones. He was still talking when they exited the bathhouse and met a delegation of reindeer with a few of the pirate crew. Twilight stopped. Spike fell quiet. The soldiers saluted Jarl Ahto, who led the delegation, his face an unmoving mask. He had Guthrun by his side, looking worried. Crimson Coat - Sudden Gale, Twilight reminded herself - was there as well, and had a smug grin on her face. Her second mate was also there, but unlike his boss he was not happy, and kept looking from side to side nervously. “Lady Sparkle,” Jarl Ahto said in Equestrian, “it pains me to disturb you like this, but serious things have come up.” “Like what, sir?” said Twilight Sparkle. She didn’t like this at all, but tried to look nonchalant and cheerful. “My ally here, Captain Coat, claims you’re using black magic to enhance your ability lie,” Ahto said, his eyes shifting to the freshly red-dyed pegasus. “Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho!” Twilight laughed, still somewhat forced but these days more practiced. “Preposterous! You do know that Sudden Gale - excuse me, ‘Crimson Coat’ - is a traitor and an oath-breaker, and not to be trusted?” “I do,” said the Jarl, “and I must confess I find her mostly despicable.” “Hey!” said a suddenly angered pegasus. “But I depend on my trusted kins-vaja here, whose Sight helps her to ferret out lies,” he said and patted Guthrun, “and after a few first... misunderstandings, Captain Coat has learnt to keep her split tongue in check. That’s why I also saw no problem with allying with Skinfaxi’s Shadow. But if you have that Strimmaland amulet Captain Coat talks about, I might be less interested. And remember, when it comes to serious matters we’re pretty certain on whether she lies or not, so she at least thinks you have it.” “Please take off any amulets or talismans, Lady Sparkle,” said Guthrun, her voice full of regret. “It’s the one in silver with the huge amber stones!” Crimson Coat interjected. “What?” said Guthrun astonished. “That must be made here in Poatsula!” “It’s... a local production,” said Twilight and handed Guthrun the gri-gri. “Here. Now what?” “I’ll just ask you a few questions, vital questions,” Jarl Ahto said. “If I’m satisfied, all I’m asking is that the necklace remains in my custody until you leave.” “And if you’re not satisfied?” Twilight said, her voice cracking a bit. “That depends on the degree of my dissatisfaction,” Jarl Ahto said. “Alright then,” Twilight said, shut her eyes for a moment, took a deep breath, “ask ahead!” “Well,” said Ahto, “first I wonder...” “WAIT!” shouted Spike. Everyone fell silent. “You say it’s somehow wrong for Twi... for my mistress to use magic like, like a negotiation tool. How is it then OK for you to use magic on her? Don’t you reindeer know that all magic is flawed, that stones were not meant to fly?” Jarl Ahto was almost losing his composure, but confusion had grappled anger and he just stuttered. Guthrun answered Spike, however. “I understand what you mean, fylgja,” she said. “But my Sight does nothing more than let me see emotions far more better than anydeer else can do while watching somedeer speak. That lets me see when somedeer lies, much better than a normal person. It’s no charm or galder directed against your mistress’ psyche.” “Fylgja?” said Spike. “Galder?” “She means to say that you are my familiar,” Twilight said, “though the concepts aren’t exactly the same. Galder means spell, sort of. Go on Jarl, sorry for the interruption.” “I thought we were speaking Equestrian,” Spike mumbled. “Are you really here to negotiate an alliance between me and Equestria?” Ahto said. Better answer quickly before she Sees something... “Yes, of course,” she said. “Didn’t I tell you so? Why don’t you trust me on this?” “It is rather clever to try to shift the guilt over to my kinsman,” Guthrun said drily, “but I’d guess you’re lying, Lady Sparkle. You’re not angry, which honest deer... which honest people are when they are accused of lying. You’re scared.” “Well, who wouldn’t be afraid, you’re coming here, accusing me, threatening me with soldiers...” Twilight said. “You’re not the slightest bit afraid of the soldiers, Lady Sparkle,” said Guthrun. “You’re afraid of me... and of the Jarl. Social fear, like the fear of shame. You don’t fear his skill in arms or my battle spirits, though you should. I sense some residual anger and... pity towards towards the soldiers we brought, but no fear. Your feelings for our allies are decidedly mixed, but there isn’t much fear there either... I can see that you despise and disdain Captain Cloak and have a small amount of hatred as well. No fear, you clearly think she’s not terribly competent. I approve of those feelings. Oh, and you feel my lord here is at least a bit ridiculous, and you love your fylgja like a son or brother and do fear for his wellbeing. Am I getting it all?” “I, well...” said Twilight. “How could you lie to me?!” Jarl Ahto said, more surprised than Twilight had expected. “The same way you sent armed deer to a country that had done you no wrong, to steal and murder.” Twilight said. “Because you thought it was the best alternative for serving your country, and you were wrong.” Jarl Ahto bristled. “How would you have had me provision them?” he barked. “Oh, there are several ways!” Twilight said. “I talked to your soldiers and sailors and they had tried none of them - your first plan was to plunder Equestria. Don’t be all holier-than-thou with me, Jarl Ahto! You’ve taken desperate measures for what you care about. You didn’t want to lead your men to civil war, even if you lust after the throne of Tarandroland like a foal after candy. So you committed serious crimes against innocent citizens of the nearest superpower instead. Because that’s such a brilliant idea, both morally and strategically!” She sighed deeply. Ahto sputtered a bit. “And, your lies...” Guthrun said, sad and wary but much calmer than her kinsdeer. “A bad decision, even if it was for a grand cause,” said Twilight glumly. “This whole... charade, it was never a good idea.” She gestured with her hoof to her black winter dress. “Y’know, I don’t dress like this,” she almost shouted, “or act like this, or laugh like this: Oh ho ho ho ho ho ho!” The laugh was even sillier this time. The gathered ungulates and etcetera looked thoroughly confused. “And I think the only reason anydeer believed me is because they were stupid!” she hissed. “Celestia’s mane, I’m an awful actor and useless liar! Yet you guys needed an empath to see I was lying! ARGH!” “What... is this some cunning distraction, or...?” said Ahto. “Beats me,” said his seer. “There is anger and relief and something that is just... crazy. It’s all so unclear, you’ll have to ask me later!” “Let’s talk about serious things here, serious things,” Twilight said. “We all know Winter is bad but you don’t know how bad. I’m sure you have your stupid spies in the capital so you know there are ponies coming in from Equestria to help you reindeer, even, and Ukko is scrambling to gather forces together, and we’re turning the country upside down to find allies. So our solution was to threaten your stupid camp and get you soldiers cold feet about the whole revolution thing and then we all kiss and make up and fight Winter together. Hehe, cold feet, Winter....” Ahto and his crew and allies were trying to listen, but Twilight was babbling rather fast. Spike pulled her mane, but she didn’t notice. “But then you go and cheat, by being much much numerous than us!” she continued. “So that stupid plan is even more stupid now but listen, listen! You have to believe me! You have to realize I’m serious about this! Winter is coming! So, what say you march on the capital! But not to attack it, you join up with our armies! Then we fix the whole Winter thing, eradicate all those superfluous nidhoggs, shovel away the snow and bring back whatever birds are smart enough to fly south in this country! Right? And if you absolutely have to get rid of Ukko and his folks, you can do that come summer, right? When the country isn’t dying?” She looked at the bewildered reindeer and their even more bewildered allies, most of whom had no idea what Winter was beyond the crappiest season of the year. “Let’s at least talk about it!” she pleaded. “You will be safe from the forces of Ukko. I’ll argue for this new way of recruiting you to the war, and you’re so many the hotheads won’t dare attack you. And it’s - it’s your country too! Well, not yours,” she said and pointed to a zebra pirate, “but I don’t care about you, you can all leave!” “This sounds... interesting,” said Ahto and eyed his seer. “She... sure is desperate, and still afraid but not of you... I’d say that was some kind of truth, at least,” Guthrun said, looking rather bewildered. “This sounds interesting, Lady Sparkle,” the Jarl said. “But what would be my role in all this?” Twilight looked at him and tried to find something to say... People have been absolved of worse crimes... but it would both be a political scandal and an injustice if nothing happened to him or his deer. And Ukko would sure be after his head... I don’t know what I should do... “I... I’ll try to negotiate... something...” she began, looking at the Jarl. “You see, the mistakes I described before... maybe an international court of law could absolve you of any... greater crimes and we can all go home as friends...” Jarl Ahto looked warily at his seer. Guthrun looked sadly at her lord. “I won’t say that’s a lie, my lord,” she said. “But I sense much remorse and pity for you, as well as much resentment, and she feels great guilt and nervosity. I would guess that she thinks that no good can come to you out of this, and that somewhere in her soul she feels that you would deserve it.” The Jarl considered it deeply, looking to the sky. “Maybe I should give myself up,” he said, “for the plight of my deer, and surely a neutral court would...” “NO!” one of the soldiers shouted. “Never, my lord!” “Yes, we’d never give you up,” said another. “Freeze the Hestalanders, freeze Ukko’s tail!” “Yes, if you go, we go with you, wherever it is!” a third said. The others started to shout their approval and either waving their arms or pointing them menacingly at Twilight. Sudden Gale’s pirates seemed to approve. Twilight suddenly remembered that her three-deer escort were right behind her. “Thank you,” said Ahto, and suddenly his voice broke. “Thank you for your loyalty! I will never let you down!” The soldiers cheered. “And something strikes me, my usual genius, I guess,” the Jarl said with much more confidence. “You tell me that your plan was to force my soldiers to surrender with your superior forces and then recruit them, but now the situation is reversed. I can do the same to the loyalist army. I needn’t even enter Sarvvik. When I then turn my new forces towards Winter, all support for Ukko will wither away.” “I doubt the Equestrian forces would let you,” said Twilight Sparkle, who couldn’t hide the worry in her voice. “Oh, but you forget one thing,” Ahto said and smiled. “You might be the world’s mightiest country, but you don’t have many real soldiers to send abroad and they are almost all volunteers. Even the soldiers which defend your country are weaker than others. You won’t risk your ponies when you cannot force a surrender by numbers, which I assume Princess Hrimfaxi intends. And if you do, just a small number of casualties will stop more volunteer soldiers to come and create a massive protest in your country against you even being here. You don’t fight a war every year, Lady Sparkle, like we reindeer do. You’re not used to war meaning that ponies actually die.” Twilight swallowed. He was scarily close to being right. “But you’ll need help to fight Winter!” she protested. “Ukko couldn’t do it because he didn’t have the stags. He lost those stags to me, and I’m bringing them back! Besides, I think you, my lady, have a lot of insider information, and I’m sure you will soon realize it will be in your best interests to give all of it to me,” the Jarl said and came closer, his eyes now burning. Since the Jarl was who he was, Twilight Sparkle was sure he meant what he said literally. He didn’t intend to torture her or anything like that... probably. But she couldn’t be sure, and fooling Jarl Ahto would mean fooling Guthrun, which would be very hard indeed... “Deer, put Lady Sparkle in chains, but don’t harm her!” he barked. “And put that dragonling in a cage or something!” Spike squeaked and dived under Twilight. Twilight, meanwhile, did what she had hoped she wouldn’t have to, but now she saw no alternative. She removed the strange powder grenades from an outside pocket of her saddlebags and detonated them telekinetically, spreading the half-invisible powder in a low, circular cloud around them. She was shocked at the effect of the grenades, and would for a long time wonder how they worked. It was only months afterwards, in a discussion on the subject with Zecora, that the zebra griot would explain it. The powder disturbed Sight but not sight, in a rather horrid fashion. Just as reindeer lose their Sight when they lose their mundane sight, so that a blind reindeer cannot be a seer, they lose their sight when they lose their Sight. The powder blinded your Sight and hence your mundane eyes. It would do it the same way that rubbing mustard into your eyes would blind you: with horrible pain. The sharper your Sight, the worse the pain. So that was why Guthrun was rolling around screaming at the top of her lungs, trying to rub her eyes with her hooves in a manner likely to actually put an eye out. The other reindeer screamed or moaned, rubbed their eyes with their hooves or tried to ram their heads into snowdrifts. Several of them rolled on the ground in panic, weapons dropped or forgotten. Twilight did not know why, though. She was just terrified, but at the same time she knew she had to act. There were as many as seven pirates with Crimson Coat and Mr Moccus, and three of them jumped Twilight moments after she incapacitated the reindeer. Crimson Coat herself didn’t however. Instead she hit Twilight in the face with a powder grenade of her own. Twilight tried to shut her mouth and her eyes, but it was too late and she was stalled teary-eyed and choking when she was attacked. In addition, it wouldn’t have helped much if she had succeeded, because the powder was designed to affect a unicorn’s horn. Twilight got a shallow cut on her right front leg, a club blow to the muzzle and another deeper slash on her left side. She felt her magic curdle up, like mucus in your nose, as she desperately tried to execute a teleport or strike out with her telekinesis. The unicorn stumbled to the ground without even defending herself. She would have soon been hurt much worse in her panic if it wasn’t for Spike. The little dragon scrambled out from between Twilight’s leg screaming angrily. He grabbed her assailant from the front, a zebra with an ironshod club in his mouth. Spike’s claws, which could cut metal, raked his belly and side. His teeth, made to chew stone, bit the zebra’s shoulder. While baby dragons aren’t very strong, their jaws are. At the same time he by dragon instinct released acids in his saliva, the same acid that let dragons melt gems slowly in their mouths. This made the bite much more painful. Spike was so furious and scared that he bit off a piece of hide from the screaming zebra and spit in the face of another pirate, a donkey. Temporarily blinded, the frightened donkey stumbled back, dropping his cutlass just as the zebra had lost his club. Spike jumped straight oto the donkey’s back and grabbed his ears with his claws, almost shredding them. Then he opened his jaws wide sunk his teeth into the donkey’s scalp. He couldn’t hurt him as bad as the zebra because he was thrown clear off, but the donkey galloped off howling in pain. Spike was stunned but not harmed by being thrown, one of the benefits of a dragon constitution. The third assailant, a ram, should really have used this opportunity to cut Twilight deeper with his blade, or even better batted her with his horns However, the sudden dragon attack surprised him and made him back off a few steps. This gave Twilight enough time to stop panicking, and realize what was happening. It is uncertain whether it was her brother coaching her, general physical training foisted upon her by Applejack and Rainbow Dash, or those self-defense lessons for lone mares that Rarity had insisted on dragging her to. In any case, Twilight did possess basic training in hitting people. Something she had learnt caused her to rear, plunge, and hit the head of the ram with both her hooves just as he went in for a headbutt. He would have bit his tongue badly, but right now he was holding a dagger in his mouth. Thus, he instead lost some teeth in a painful way. That took the momentum out of his headbutt and he stumbled to the ground coughing up teeth, blood and dagger. Twilight took that opportunity to kick him in the head again. He wasn’t that concussed, but decided to retreat and give room for somesheep who wanted to die. As Twilight tried to catch her breath and Spike rose groggily from the undergrowth of screaming cervines, a red flash swept down from the sky and knocked Twilight over. At the same time, cold white metal flashed and opened a serious gash on the side of Twilight’s neck. It was only luck and the lack of a good attack angle that stopped her from having her throat cut. Twilight screamed and Spike ran to her. The blood-red shape of the pirate captain hovered above what was now a battlefield and screamed insults and curses at her henchbeings. None of the rest of the pirates seemed really eager to step forward. “WEAKLINGS! IDIOTS! COWARDS! I’LL DO THIS MYSELF!” Then she dove down towards Twilight again, who had managed to stagger to her feet. “DIE! YOU...”  and the rest was lost in a scream of rage. The pirate’s cutlass, strapped to one of her front hooves, would have missed this time, but Twilight made the mistake of trying to summon up a forcefield while she was still unable to use magic. Instead, it was as if she felt a blowtorch to her horn when she tried. Thus, she didn’t duck in time, and she was nicked on the back with the cutlass and Crimson Coat’s left back hoof hit her in the head, stunning her. Crimson Coat was again hovering, this time screaming at Twilight, who was moaning on the ground, her mane getting coated with blood. “YOU SELF-RIGHTEOUS MULE! I’M GONNA KILL YOU SLOWLY! YOU RUINED EVERYTHING!” she howled gleefully. “HEY!” Spike shouted, standing up next to Twilight. “You! Mean, stupid, ugly traitor! The one who MADE herself a BLANK FLANK to prove she's good for NOTHING? ! You don’t talk like that to my MOM!” “You little...” Crimson Coat growled and dived towards Spike. “And your stupid dye is really stupid and FLAMMABLE!” Spike shouted, and then he breathed green, very hot fire in Crimson Coat’s face. She screamed and veered off sharply to the left, so the fire played quickly over her body and hit her dye-drenched right wing. Both it and the fur on her face caught fire. The fire was small and smouldering and might have been put out easily, if Crimson Coat hadn’t made a couple instinctive, panicky rolls in the air. Those had been reasonable defensive maneuvers against an attacker, but since the danger was her own burning feathers and fur, they didn’t help. Instead, the fire caught on and spread to her mane and her back. “I’M BURNING! I’M BUUUUUURNING! HEEEEEELP MEEEEE!” she howled as she flew off. “She screams too much,” said Spike bitterly. Twilight rose up, tried to summon her magic, almost succeeded, and tried to press her shredded dress against the serious wound at the side of her neck. “Spike, you...” she said, looking at him. “I hope being angry doesn’t make dragons grow as well,” he said with a tired voice and turned towards the remaining four pirates and Mr Moccus. They were still armed and dangerous, and... “You two!” Mr Moccus oinked and pointed to the two of his crewmembers to the left. “Give our fallen brethren medical aid!” They obeyed and hurried to the side of the hurt zebra and ram, respectively. “You!” he said and pointed to one pirate directly under him, a zebra mare. “Check on our fallen allies, she must have poisoned them! You Stripeys know stuff like that!” “But...” said the zebra and looked at Twilight and Spike. “Do as you’re told,” said the last pirate, a pegasus, “that was an order! They’re suffering!” “Right,” said Mr Moccus to said last pirate. “You, follow me and rescue the Captain. We’ll have to fight later, Lady Sparkle! The crew comes first.” He and the pegasus fluttered off, at a somewhat lazy speed for somepony (and somehog) about to save somepony from having their coat on fire. It was then Twilight realized the pegasus was Hailstone’s “bro” she had met the last night. Twilight just stood there and panted. Despite the horror around her felt a small joy when she felt her... occult sinuses opening, so to speak. Her horn still felt hot, but she felt she could pull off that much-needed teleport. So she held Spike close and did so in a flash of purple light. They reappeared in a forest clearing some distance away, faint smoke coming from both of them. Twilight fell to her knees and screamed. “MY HORN! Oh manure, my horn...” She stopped moaning and threw up. Spike got to his feet and shook off the nausea from a blind teleport. “What’s with your horn?!” he said and held her head anxiously. “She used some... anti-magic powder,” Twilight moaned. “It’s almost gone but it still hurts to use magic. Argh!” “Should I rub snow on it or something...?” said Spike and looked around him. “Where are we?” “No, no, take care of this... wound first!” said Twilight and patted her neck, blood dribbling on the snow. “There are bandages in the saddlebags, right?” “I’ll get to it,” said Spike and started to dig in the bag. “We’re just deeper in the forest, I just aimed right south-east and avoided solid matter,” Twilight said and rose up. “Are you okay, Spike?” “I’m fine, I’m just looking for the bandages...” he said. “You got... angry over there,” she said and felt her wound again. It was still trickling blood, and she tried to press on it telekinetically. “Of course I did!” he said testily. “They looked like they were gonna kill you and me, and you just stood there!” “I didn’t mean it was wrong,” said Twilight. “You probably saved us both. I was just surprised you were so... dangerous. And I tried to do something, to use my magic! I just failed, because of... yeah... ” “I don’t wanna do it again,” said Spike. “Here’s the bandages... Never do it again...” He started to awkwardly apply them, first trying to remove her blood-soaked mane. “Spike, don’t bother, it’s just... bleeding...” Twilight said. “We’ll call for a rescue, we just need to move away a little bit...”   Spike ignored her, rolling loop after loop of gauze around Twilight's neck until she was swathed in approximately a mile of bandages. He frowned as he struggled to secure the mess with surgical tape. “Spike, I...” Twilight started. “I can’t remember how this goes!” he babbled. “I should redo it and...” “Spike, at least it slows it down, I can press some against it, we should get away... I can’t teleport yet but we can walk while we wait...” They started to plod away through the trackless snow. Spike tried to get snow on Twilight’s horn and scrub it, but she told him to stop. “The powder is probably all over me,” she said. They heard a shriek somewhere behind them, a shriek from above. “What was that?” said Spike and looked back. Twilight turned around, and they saw a flying shape in the air over the treetops, followed by another, and something else also over the treetops. A fez-clad head on the top of a huge, swaying neck. “Oh come on!” Spike protested. “How could he get here in time!” “We didn’t get that far, he sees a long way and he’s clairvoyant!” said Twilight. “Hold on!” She shut her eyes and concentrated. Magic fizzled on the top of her horn. “Not yet, must stall them...” she mumbled. Then a blast of gray, crackling energy, like an angry snake made of electric smog, slithered from the giraffe’s head. It struck a pine not too far from them and shattered it into splinters. Twilight cowered and Spike threw himself to the ground. As they shook themselves and stood up, Mr Motelele strode out from the trees, yet keeping a healthy distance. He was followed by a motley crew of pirates, most on the ground with him but a few flying above him. Spike recognized the peryton and several griffins, but no pegasi. “There’s no use in surrendering, Twilight Sparkle!” the giraffe roared. “I’ll destroy you! I’m yoh superioh, and I have you outnumbered with allies to boot!” Twilight sighed angrily. “What do we do now?” said Spike. “We can’t fight those guys!” “I’ve got this,” said Twilight. “We’ll stall and flee. Just - when I say so, shut your eyes and grab me!” “Talk to me, Sparkle!” Mr Motelele roared. “Admit your defeat!” He took a several steps towards her, but still more carefully than his voice indicated. His ground troops followed, his air force now circled above her. “You’re the one who is going to be defeated, unless you run back to the camp!” Twilight said, her voice hoarse. “I’ve told you why you’re weaker than me, you should know this is useless, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. Not even people like you.” “Lies!” shouted the giraffe. “Face me, Sparkle!” A flaming aura started dancing around his head. “You’re such a cretin!” Twilight snarled. “Get out while you can, before you and your friends get hurt.” The other pirates looked a bit wary to Twilight, but Motelele took two steps forward. “I’ll undo you!” he shouted. Grenades and flasks with lethal substances levitated from his bandolier belts. “You silly, silly, foal,” said Twilight, her voice even more hoarse and tired. “Now, Spike!” As she felt the baby dragon grasp her side with his claws and press his face into it, she sent off a thin, crackling ray of magic towards the giraffe. He merely stood there, grinning, as it struck the giraffe poppet hanging around his neck. “You are the foal!” he shouted. “I told you, my fetish protects me! You missed me!” “No, I told you I knew that, and that was what I was aiming at!” Twilight said, ears pressed back towards her head. The pirates, to a being, turned towards the giraffe. He looked at the doll, and his eyes widened. “Oh no...” he whispered hoarsely. He looked at the crewmembers again, and saw their glazed eyes. “I want it!” said Jorge the peryton. His shadow, cast on the snow by the mid-day sun, formed into a mass of dagger-bearing tentacles and crept towards the giraffe. “I need it!” moaned a zebra pirate and prepared a number of acid grenades for throwing. “I really like its spots!” gasped a griffon extending her claws as her beak grasped her cutlass. “Back!” the giraffe shouted desperately as he shifted his magic to form a force-field around himself. “I’m yoh superioh officeh!” They ignored him and advanced with vacant eyes and ready weapons. “You might be interested to know,” said Twilight Sparkle, “that I have had accidents with this spell before, so I developed a safe variant that doesn’t let you harm any of your friends or loved ones while affected by it.” The giraffe turned on the spot and made to gallop towards the harbour, but found the rest of the crew had surrounded him. “Oh, I forgot, Mr Motelele, you don’t want any friends or loved ones, so they won’t think of you as one either!” Twilight said. “Too bad. Goodbye!” “CUUUURSE YOOOOOOOOU TWILIGHT SPAAAAAAARKLE!” the giraffe shouted, but Twilight and Spike didn’t hear more than the first syllable, because they had both teleported away. Twilight and Spike arrived in another forest clearing, much further inland this time. They weren’t as singed by the teleport, as Twilight had regained more of her control. However, because she had stretched the distance to her limit, she was completely exhausted. “Spike, let’s send that pick-up message we talked about,” she said, panting as she laid down on the ground. “You’re bleeding again, Twilight!” said Spike. “Send the letter first, then we remake the bandage, and then I’ll lie still until we get evacuated,” Twilight said. “Will do!” said Spike and started digging around in the saddlebags. He couldn’t find the writing gear, got more nervous... “AAARGH!” he shouted. “Shhh!” said Twilight. “Somedeer might hear you! There could be some soldiers out here!” She used her telekinesis to put pressure on the wound. “Sorry,” said Spike in a lower voice and turned the saddlebags upside down in the snow. He then started scrambling through them until he found the scroll case with the ink-bottle in the lid. With trembling claws he wrote a succinct message: WE NEED PICKUP! NOW! LIFE OR DEATH! Then he set fire to it, and directed the message with his mind towards Princess Luna. “So, now I’ve sent it.. Twilight?” He turned anxiously towards the unicorn, who had laid down on the ground. “Twilight!” Spike shook her. “Twilight, speak to me!” “I... I’m okay, Spike...” she murmured. “Stand up!” Spike ordered, pulled her up and started to fumblingly redo the blood-soaked bandage. “You have to, you cannot be... if you faint like that you could...” “I’m fine, Spike, I’m fine...” Twilight blinked and shook her head. “Stand still!” Spike snapped. “We have to stop the blood... Twilight, stay awake. Talk to me...” “About what?” said Twilight while Spike continued to fail his first aid lessons. “Lecture me!” he said. “Tell me about... tell me about seaponies!” “Seaponies?” said Twilight. “Yes, seaponies! Tell me all about seaponies!” “Well...” Twilight cleared her throat. “Seaponies, or, more correctly, Hippocampi, are known as the Fourth Tribe. Despite being counted as ponies, sociologically and culturally, they are biologically reckoned as pseudo-equines, and not as closely related to ponies as.. as...” Twilight licked her lips and swayed a bit. “As what?” said Spike, who was starting to consider searing the wound with his flame. Did that actually work? “As donkeys and... zebras,” Twilight continued. “Keep your eyes open,” Spike ordered and tried to stick a twig under the bandages and twisting it to pull them tight and stop the bleeding. “Spike, you’re... strangling me!” Twilight gasped. “Sorry!” Spike dropped the twig and just pressed his paws to the gauze over the wound. “I’ll... I’ll just stand like this. Carry on, carry on, tell me about seaponies!” “Okay... Seaponies are amphibic, and can breath both air and water with the same lungs. Their ambient... ambient...” “Ambient what, Twilight?” Spike said. “Soldiers,” Twilight croaked. “Ambient soldiers?” Spike wondered. “Twilight, are you...?” “Soldiers,” Twilight said and pointed with her hoof. Spike looked in that direction. They were maybe a dozen, on skis, with spear-staffs, of course, with light barding. They were lead by a known muzzle: Hakon. “You betrayed my Lord and struck him down,” said the young sarv with barely contained anger. “Now follow me peacefully or I will strike you down where you stand!” “Twilight, can you...?” Spike asked. Twilight slumped down on the ground. “We’ll just have to wait... Luna...” she whispered. Spike looked around, frantically. Was there anything he could set fire to? Scare them off? Make a snare, or... He saw something among the scattered contents of the saddlebag. He picked it up and hugged Twilight. “I love you, mistress! I love you to the end of time!” “Spike...?” He ignored her and held up the object high. “Alright, you clumsy barbarians! You’ve cornered Skinfaxi’s Shadow like a... like a dying rat!  No! Never a rat, something small as a rat! A dying... dying beaver! But you should know that if she dies, she won’t die alone!” “I would expect her to fight back!” said Hakon. “The whole world will DIE!” Spike shouted and waved around the object. “What?” Twilight croaked. Spike ignored her. “What are you talking about, dragonling?” said Hakon. “You can’t fool me that a wounded witch can end the world just like that!” “Not on her own, no!” Spike said, fired on by desperation. “But you know that my mistress bound Äitsi when he was set loose, right?” The soldiers looked at each other. “It rained canned peaches,” Spike said, but they had already started to remember. “She trapped him in this... bag!” Spike said and thrust Pinkie Pie’s party grenade towards Hakon, “and if you come any closer or make any false moves, I’ll set him free!” The reindeer looked at Spike and his... bag, at each other, and at Hakon. “Do you think I’m a fool, dragonling?” Hakon laughed. “I don’t know what trinkets your mistress keep in that bag, but not any Spirits of Madness and Kinslaying, I wager.” So that’s what they call the guy here, Spike thought and forced a smile and a shrug. “So be it then! Goodbye, cruel world!” he said and made as if to pull the strings on the top of the grenade. “WAIT!” shouted one of the soldiers. Spike waited, while the others turned towards him. Spike took a quick look at the sky but didn’t see anything coming. “What?” said Hakon. “Sir, what if he speaks the truth?” the soldier said. “Well, that’s just ridiculous,” said Hakon. “Do you really believe that nonsense?” “Everydeer knows she was the one who sealed him, sir,” said another of the soldiers. “What if he speaks the truth?” “The whole world would be at stake,” said the first soldier. “Is it... is that worth it?” The other soldiers actually nodded slowly and looked towards the first speaker. “You can’t mean you’re disobeying your commanding officer!” said Hakon. The soldiers, most older than Hakon, looked at him with something like pity. “Sir, you have never given me an order that meant risking so much,” said the first soldier. Spike started to breathe slower. If he could just stall them... “You’ll see!” said Hakon and started to move towards Spike. “I’ll get that bag, and...” Oh well, it may still work, thought Spike. “Suit yourself, Ender of the World!” he shouted, pulled the strings and threw the party grenade at Hakon. He caught it with his mouth, probably by reflex, and then it exploded. There was a huge bang. Firecrackers landed on the ground and shot many-coloured sparks. Confetti flew through the air, high above, and covered everything. Everyone in the clearing suddenly had a garish party hat on their head, a bottle of soda pop in one hoof or nearby which was newly opened and cascaded pastel-coloured fruity drink over the snow and a party horn in their mouth they had a sudden urge to blow into. To the noise from the firecrackers and the panicked party horns was added the music from a very small music box that played a merry tune. Pinkie Pie had done her research and the tune in question was a traditional dance from Tarandroland, to the song Drink and be merry, tomorrow we’ll die! Finally, a jack-in-the-box opened and a happy, grinning Pinkie-head which held a small sign saying HAVE A GREAT PARTY EVERYDEER in fairly good Poatsi popped up and swayed back and forth. It wasn’t as good an instant party as that provided by the patented Pinkie Pie party cannon, but under the circumstances, it was a good effort. Under the circumstances, it also caused the soldiers to scream, veer about and flee. Since they were wearing skis, several of them fell over and kicked off the skis before they got up again and ran screaming about rains of canned peaches, mountains rolling over and snow turning to reindeer-eating marshmallows. Hakon got to his feet, and stumbled on his own skis, before he too kicked them off and ran off after his deer. It was uncertain whether he was trying to call them back, whether he was afraid of staying with Spike alone or whether he also thought Discord was unleashed upon the world again. In any case he scuttled off on unsteady feet. Spike set down his soda (lingonberry sarsaparilla, for some weird reason) and checked on Twilight. She was still conscious but barely, so he talked to her and rubbed some snow in her face to wake her up while he stopped the bleeding with his hands again. In any case it didn’t feel as if the wound was bleeding as much anymore.   Spike felt like it took an hour or more for Luna to arrive. In reality, it took only fifteen minutes or so after Spike detonated the party grenade before she arrived, followed by her sister. As Celestia sealed Twilight’s wounds and lifted up on her back, Luna turned to Spike. “It was good of you to send up that signal with the noise and the colours in the air,” she said. “We wouldn’t have found you as fast.” Then she looked around them with confusion added to the sense of worry and urgency she already showed. “What... happened here?” “Pinkie Pie saved both our hides,” said Spike. Luna didn’t enquire further. Not then. Thanks to my proofreaders LadyMoondancer and Lurk-no-More. And I fired a Chekov's Gun here that I loaded in Chapter Two, one year ago or more!