Pinecone Grove is a small wooded town about twenty miles north of Canterlot. An old man named Allen Wrench lives and owns a hardware store there, and one of his friends, a contractor named Rusty Nails, likes to buy construction supplies from him. Over the last several months, Rusty and his twin nephews, Donald and Douglas Axeblade, had been hard at work restoring an old stone guest house on the outskirts of Canterlot. Naturally, the project required a large amount of plywood and interior fixtures, so Rusty found himself visiting Allen more often than he usually did. To get to Pinecone Grove, all Rusty had to do was drive up Route 17, a highway that passed through western Canterlot and into the verdant hills to the north. The trip was usually smooth and straightforward, until work crews began widening the highway in both directions.
One Monday night, Donald and Douglas were playing a first-person shooter game on the TV. Since Rusty had gone to Allen’s store to pick up lighting supplies, the twins were home alone.
“Ugh, why won’t this thing work?” Douglas groaned as he fiddled with his controller. He was the gentler of the two brothers, and loved gardening and being in nature. He had very long ginger hair, and wore a green T-shirt and pink skinny jeans. Admittedly, most video games weren’t his strong suit.
“My gun’s working just fine, so it must be you!” Donald laughed. By contrast, he was the more tough and athletic brother. He had a shaved head and a thick ginger beard, and wore a black T-shirt and baggy dark blue jeans. “Yes!” he exclaimed as he racked up another kill. “Man, this is almost too easy!”
Douglas then got killed by a player from the opposing team. “Well, I guess that’s it for me.” He set his controller on the coffee table and leaned back on the couch.
Just then, the front door opened and Rusty came in looking exhausted. He set a bag of light bulbs down on the dinner table, then crashed on his armchair and sighed loudly. “What happened to you?” Douglas asked.
“Stupid road crews decided to widen Route 17 in both directions up north,” Rusty replied disdainfully. He ran an orange hand through his thin gray hair. “They closed off one of the existing lanes while they were at it, which created a whole big bottleneck. I swear, it must have taken me an hour to get through that mess.”
“Wow, that really sucks,” said Douglas. “I’m not sure why they would even need to widen the road up there, anyway.”
“Me neither, there’s barely any traffic once you get past Route 50,” Rusty agreed. “It was fine the way it was, but the state government just doesn’t know when to leave stuff alone.”
Donald, who was still focused on the video game, killed one of his two remaining opponents. “I’m invincible!” he boasted. A few seconds later, he got killed by his other opponent. “Ah, shit!” He angrily spiked his controller on the floor.
Douglas raised one eyebrow. “You were saying?”
Rusty and the twins continued to work on the old house over the next two weeks, but the following Saturday, Rusty had to make another trip to Pinecone Grove to buy several cabinets for the house’s kitchen. Since Douglas had just left to go to the city park, Rusty went upstairs to find Donald. “I’m going to Allen’s to pick up some cabinets,” Rusty explained. “Can you come with me?”
“Sure!” Donald replied. “Feels like I haven’t been out of the city in months.”
“Great!” said Rusty. “We’ll have to find a different way to get there, though. I’m not going on Route 17 again.”
Rusty went downstairs and laid out a road map on the dinner table. He and Donald spent several minutes examining it and debating what would be the best route to take. “Let’s take Route 17A,” Donald suggested. “It’s basically parallel to 17.”
Rusty shook his head. “It’s got too many lights.” He looked at the map again. “We could take Route 74 into East Moonstone, and switch to the Pearl River Parkway there… no, East Moonstone is a pain in the ass, too many rotaries.”
Donald then pointed to a long, twisty road on the map. “How about this one?” he asked. “Route 83. It goes straight from here to Pinecone Grove, and has no intersections for miles.”
“Hmm, good idea. One thing though – Route 83 goes through the mountains, and they don’t call it ‘The Treacherous Way’ for nothing.”
Donald shrugged. “Eh, there are bigger mountains where I’m from. It’ll be fine.”
“Then that’s settled,” said Rusty. “But since I’m more familiar with the area, I’ll drive.”
“Nah, I can drive you,” Donald offered. “I’m the one who found this route, and I’m a faster driver than you anyway.”
“All right then. Just be careful.”
“Ah, don’t worry. I’ve got this.”
Donald and Rusty left the house and got into Rusty’s van. Donald sat behind the wheel, while Rusty sat in the passenger seat with the map in his hand. Donald started the van, and they set off.
Donald followed the Emerald Parkway for a few miles before taking a left onto Route 83 near the Canterlot Mall. Shortly after, a traffic light turned red just as Donald approached, and he had to hit the brakes. “Dammit!” he growled. As soon as the light turned green, he stomped on the gas and sped off again.
Donald and Rusty were soon out of Canterlot and passing through a couple of smaller suburban towns to the north. Since Donald wasn’t familiar with the area, Rusty navigated for him. The drive was going smoothly, and they were making good time. “I remember coming here when I was young,” Rusty remarked as they passed by a rutty old baseball field. “Those were the good old days.”
After a few more miles of driving through the suburbs, the landscape became rugged and a pair of huge mountains appeared on the horizon. The road began to twist and climb, and a large yellow sign read SLOW DOWN: STEEP BENDS AHEAD. Donald, however, did not slow down. He whipped around the first two curves at the same speed he’d been going at previously.
“Slow down!” warned Rusty. “It only gets steeper and more dangerous from here.”
“I’ll slow down when I need to,” Donald replied.
As Donald quickly rounded one rocky corner after another, Rusty became increasingly nervous. He could see why Douglas often complained about Donald’s driving, and began to wish he had taken the wheel like he’d originally wanted to. Donald completed the descent from the first mountain, crossed a high stone viaduct, and began to climb the second.
The second mountain was bigger, steeper and more jagged than the first. Donald had to push hard on the gas to get the van up the initial grade, then had to ease off to make the hairpin turn that followed. Nonetheless, Donald sped up again once the road straightened out.
Soon they came to a tunnel that was cut through the rock. It was long and dark, and Donald struggled to see inside it. “Why are the lights in here so dim?” he grumbled. “I can barely see the double yellow line!”
“Me neither,” Rusty agreed. “Maybe instead of widening Route 17, the road crews should be working here instead.”
At the end of the tunnel, the road climbed again and swung to the left. This was the highest ledge on the route, with only a single guardrail protecting vehicles from the nearly vertical drop into the forest below. When the van emerged from the tunnel, Donald squinted hard as the sunlight hit him. Then it happened. Temporarily unable to see the road ahead, Donald missed the turn and crashed through the guardrail. “Fuck!” he cried, and jammed on the brakes. The van came to a stop, hanging precariously over the edge.
Donald and Rusty sat in shock, breathing heavily and trying desperately to avoid looking down. “Should… should I put it in reverse?” Donald stuttered.
“No!” Rusty barked. “Just pull the emergency brake, shut the van off, and don’t move.” Rusty knew that trying to get out of the van would be futile. The front doors were past the edge of the cliff, and the rear door only opened from the outside.
Donald nervously did as he was told. “Then what are we supposed to do now?!” he exclaimed.
“I’ll call for a tow truck,” said Rusty. “Don’t panic.” He picked up his old flip phone, then realized something else. “Oh, shit… I can’t remember the towing company’s number! Can you look it up?”
“Sure.” Donald pulled his smartphone out of his pocket and opened the search engine. He tried to look up the nearest towing company, but to no avail. “Fuck, there’s no WiFi out here! What the hell are we going to do?!”
“Call Douglas and see if he’s home,” Rusty quickly ordered. “Maybe he can get help for us.”
Donald nodded and immediately speed-dialed his brother.
Douglas had gone to the city park with Wallflower Blush that morning, and they were now sitting on the couch at her house. A few months ago, Sunset Shimmer had introduced Douglas to Wallflower, and the pair had bonded over their mutual love of plants and gardening. It wasn’t long before they began dating, and their relationship was still going strong.
Douglas and Wallflower were watching a relaxing TV program about exotic tropical plants. He had his arm around her, and she was leaning her head on his shoulder. Suddenly, Douglas’ phone began ringing. He picked it up and saw that his brother was calling him. “Hey, Donald. What’s up?”
“Hey, Douglas.” Donald’s voice sounded intense. “You’re not going to believe this, but Rusty and I are literally hanging off a cliff right now.”
“Wait, what?!” Douglas exclaimed. “How the hell did that happen? Where are you?”
“I’m on Route 83,” Donald replied. “You know, the road that goes through the mountains up north?”
“Um… okay,” said Douglas. “Don’t worry, I’ll get help for you as soon as I can.” And Douglas hung up, still not quite believing what Donald had told him.
“What happened?” Wallflower asked with concern.
“Donald and Rusty are hanging off a cliff on Route 83,” Douglas replied. “I’m not sure where that is, but I need to send help for them as soon as possible.”
Wallflower’s eyes widened. “The Treacherous Way? That’s like ten miles north of here. What were they doing up there? Everyone knows that road is dangerous!”
“I don’t know, but we need to send help for them fast. A tow truck would probably be best.”
Wallflower thought for a moment. “Maybe instead of waiting for a tow truck to respond, we can go up there ourselves. I know how to get there, and since my parents won’t be home for a while, we can take my dad’s pickup truck. And your uncle has some stainless steel cables in his garage, doesn’t he?”
Douglas grinned. “As a matter of fact, he does! You’re a genius, Blushie!” He gave Wallflower a hug. “Let’s go to my place and pick those up, then go to the mountains. There’s no time to lose!”
Wallflower grabbed the keys and ran to the front door, and Douglas followed suit. They headed outside and scrambled into a dark green pickup truck. Wallflower, who had recently gotten her driver’s license, quickly pulled out of the driveway and onto the road.
Now that she’d been dating Douglas for a few months, Wallflower knew how to get to Rusty’s house. She pulled up right in front of it, and she and Douglas ran to the garage. “Where does he keep the cables?” Wallflower asked.
Douglas spotted a 50-foot steel cable coiled up on a high shelf. “Right here!” He grabbed the cable and showed it to Wallflower. “I think this one should be plenty long enough.”
“Definitely!” Wallflower agreed. They ran back to the truck, and Douglas sat down with the cable in his lap. Then they set off for the mountains.
As Wallflower drove toward the Emerald Parkway, Douglas sent Donald a text. “Blushie and I are coming to rescue you!” he typed. “We’ve got her dad’s truck and a 50ft steel cable.”
“That’s great, thanks!” Donald typed in reply.
Wallflower followed the same route that Donald had taken earlier that day, turning onto Route 83 near the mall. She had great timing with the lights, and they were soon charging through the suburbs north of the city.
Before long, they had reached the base of the first mountain. Wallflower was forced to slow down here to negotiate the numerous slopes and corners. It was very stressful for her. “Well, I can see why they call this the Treacherous Way,” Douglas remarked. “This is insane!”
Wallflower nodded in agreement. After what seemed like an eternity, they passed through the tunnel and saw Rusty’s van hanging over the edge on the other side. “There they are!” Douglas exclaimed.
Wallflower hit the brakes and stopped just behind the van. She and Douglas got out to examine the situation. Donald and Rusty were relieved when they saw them in their side mirrors. “Oh, thank fuck you’re here!” Donald called.
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Rusty asked.
“Yep!” Douglas replied. He held up the steel cable. “We’re going to attach this between the van and the truck.”
“And then we’ll pull you back to safety!” Wallflower finished.
Douglas and Wallflower carefully uncoiled the cable, each holding one end of it. Wallflower hooked her end to the front of the truck, while Douglas went to fasten his end to the back of the van. Unfortunately, the cable wasn’t quite long enough to bridge the distance. “Shoot, it’s not long enough!” said Douglas. “Can you inch the truck forward a little bit?”
“Sure thing!” Wallflower replied. She got back into the truck and eased it forward about ten feet. Douglas attached the cable to the van’s rear bumper, then flashed Wallflower a thumbs-up. “Are you guys ready?” he asked Donald and Rusty.
“As ready as we’ll ever be…” said Rusty.
“What do you think?” Donald scoffed. “Of course we’re ready! Get us off of this cliff!”
Douglas smiled and got back into the truck. “All right, we’re good to go,” he told Wallflower.
Wallflower nodded. “Then let’s do this!” She threw the truck into reverse, and stomped on the gas as hard as she could. The truck steadily began moving backward, and the cable began to grow taut.
Donald and Rusty winced as they heard the sides of the van scraping against the broken guardrail. They felt a big bump from beneath them as the van’s front tires moved back onto solid ground. They sat in silence, wracked with nervousness and anticipation.
“Almost there!” Wallflower called, as with one final heave, the truck pulled the van out from the guardrail and back onto the road. Wallflower and Douglas cheered and high-fived, while Donald and Rusty breathed a huge sigh of relief. They were safe.
When they felt ready and comfortable, Donald and Rusty climbed out to assess the damage to the van. The front bumper was heavily dented, and the sides were scraped in several places, but that could easily be buffed out with a trip to the auto repair shop. Overall, they were just glad to be alive.
Donald ran over to Douglas and gave him a crushing man-hug. “Thank you so much, bro!” he exclaimed profusely. “I thought for sure I was a goner!”
“Oh, it was no problem!” Douglas said modestly. “That’s what true brothers do. Besides, I can’t lose my other half this young, can I?” The Axeblade twins shared a long, hearty laugh.
Rusty went over to thank Wallflower. “Thanks for coming all the way up here to save us. I may be an old bastard, but I’m nowhere near ready for the end!”
“I was glad to help!” said Wallflower. “I couldn’t just leave my boyfriend’s family hanging.”
Rusty smiled. “Of course. Douglas sure picked an amazing girl.”
Wallflower blushed. “Aww, thank you!” she giggled.
While Douglas detached and recoiled the cable, Donald and Rusty reconvened. “I think it would be better if you drove the rest of the way,” Donald admitted. “I don’t feel comfortable driving up here anymore.”
Rusty chuckled. “I wholeheartedly agree.” He climbed into the driver’s seat, and Donald sat on the passenger side. Then they resumed their journey to Pinecone Grove, with Wallflower and Douglas following behind.
Rusty was a much more cautious and sensible driver than Donald was. He carefully completed the descent down the second mountain, then gradually rounded a third mountain that was smaller than the first two. After the last downward slope, Route 83 returned to being a safe, flat road. At the next major intersection, Wallflower turned and headed back toward Canterlot.
The rest of the drive was all smooth sailing, and before they knew it, Rusty and Donald could see Allen Wrench’s hardware store up ahead. Rusty pulled into the parking lot, and he and Donald hopped out.
Allen was standing near the store’s entrance. He had light gray skin, a full head of dark brown hair, and a jolly smile. “Hey, guys!” he called.
“Good to see you, Allen!” Rusty replied, and he and his friend shook hands.
“How are you doing today?” Allen asked.
Rusty chuckled. “Well, we certainly had an eventful drive to get here.”
“Oh boy! What happened?”
Together, Rusty and Donald recounted the story of their harrowing experience on the Treacherous Way. Donald sheepishly accepted the blame for the accident. “You’re crazy!” Allen exclaimed when they finished. “I never take that route, it’s terrifying!”
Donald nodded. “We learned that the hard way today.”
“I also learned that avoiding traffic on the highway isn’t worth putting your life on the line,” added Rusty.
“And I’ll be a more careful driver from now on,” said Donald. “One near-death experience behind the wheel is more than enough for me.”