Session 106.0 Alex Warlorn
"So I think with adjustment to the world mirror, we can open a portal again to mirror-Equestria, and possibly cure your King Sombra of his corruption!" Princess Twilight said as she and Celestia played chess.
"Thank you Twilight... as ruler of Equestria, I was cursed to never find true love, because of all of my duties and responsibilities, and...Twilight? Where did she go?"
--
In the human world, thanks to his mom knowing karate, Flash Sentry was enjoying Equestrian Warriors: Age of Grogar, that starts out with a new character going back in time to try and create a better timeline (but the villain took advantage of this too).
"It's basically the Shorts saga from Dragon Egg Z all over again!" Flash Sentry said as his Shining Armor character hacked and slashed through the 1552nd goblin that level.
There was a knock on the door.
"Mom, I promise I'll get to... Twilight?" Indeed, it was his Princess Twilight, not the one native to this universe.
"Hi Flash... I've got a free collage scholarship for you to consider."
"WHAT?" Flash exclaimed.
"A collage scholarship, completely paid...uh, in Equestria."
"I'm... not sure anything I learn there will help me here..."
"I did some research... and you'd be surprised how musical and military theory are effectively the same! Just the names are different! You could learn there, and apply everything you learn here no problem..."
"My parents..."
"We have computers now. Thanks to something called an electronics store. You can tell them you're studying overseas, and STILL be able to keep in contact with them!"
Twilight felt a hand on her shoulder. She looked to see a woman with blue hair ask, "Are you that foreign royalty who has a crush on my son who looks like the school science girl that he's always talking about when he doesn't think I'm listening?"
"Uh...yes?"
"...I was wondering when my son was FINALLY going to introduce you!"
Flash Sentry shrank away some. "Uh, sorry mom."
"I'm guessing this scholarship is your way of him spending more time with you in your country so you can get closer?"
Twilight blushed deep red, trapped. "Uh...yes?"
"... It was kinda obvious Twilight..." Flash said.
"So, um, is that a problem?"
"Is it one of those secular collages?"
"... No. We have a firm belief in divinity." Twilight said with a straight face.
"Well then, I'll tell your father and First Base that you've found a collage to go to after graduation!"
As the grown woman skipped away, Flash turned to Twilight. "You know she's looking forward to bragging her son married into royalty."
"...My mom did the exact same thing when my brother got married..."
"Ya know...I really should tour this collage you have in mind before I say yes..." Flash said firmly.
Twilight said calmly, "Alright... We just saved Equestria from everypony getting turned into stereotypical dragons, so we shouldn't have to worry about the next big evil thing for a while..."
"At least you didn't say it was a nudist school."
"Hey, I've visited here enough times to not be THAT stupid, even if I still think that taboo is weird."
"Humans don't have heat cycles."
-
Ahuizotl had no idea how he knew where to go, the immortal harbinger of destruction only felt a calling, as if similar things attract similar things... it disgusted him that Daring Do's other enemies had apparently LIKED who'd they become under Starlight Glimmer's brainwashing (and they called him a monster) and had chosen not to join him in revenge.
What he hadn't expected to find the oldest evils in the history of Equestria waiting for him.
"Welcome Ahuizotl, you're just in time to help bring destruction and chaos upon the world..." Grogar boomed.
"... I couldn't ask for better company!"
The Anti-Crusaders (Cozy Glow's idea for their name) grinned at each other, the Bell in their possession, and the book on how to use it, thinking of just the right moment to make their power grab. Behind the Anti-Crusaders, the Mean Six clones grinned at pouch containing the bell, rebellion and revenge on the whole dang world that had done nothing but mistreat them and abandon them on their minds.
Session 106.1 Mtangalion
“Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Grogar chuckled, then indulged in a full-throated evil laugh. “How does it feel to look upon the ruin of all you hold dear, knowing that you are responsible?”
Twilight struggled against her bonds, but the conjured plunder vines only drew tighter, thorns digging in. “No…”
“Yes!” crowed Queen Chrysalis, leering over the bound Alicorn. “So very much yes!” In the distance, defeated changelings were being lined up to have the love and rainbow colors literally sucked out of them, and the expanding ranks of her soldiers were covering the entire Friendship Castle in changeling slime to make it their new hive.
No pony in Ponyville was spared… half of the citizens already wore King Sombra’s mind control helmets, and most of the foals were being fitted with slave collars and inducted into the New Storm Army, with Cozy Glow as the Storm King’s new general.
Twilight didn’t see what happened next, because Lord Tirek seized her in one hand and stole every drop of her magic with one long indrawn breath. “Such power!” he proclaimed. “I could have it all… take the magic from even my supposed allies and rule supreme!” He frowned, blinking. “Wait… Why didn’t I do that months ago? Why aren’t I doing that now?!”
Grogar snorted. “If you enjoyed your freedom to act against me, then you shouldn’t have accepted the gift of my magic when we first met!” Ignoring Tirek’s howls of protest, he turned to Bray. “Tell Chrysalis that she can have the princess for her pods now. She’s of no further use to me.”
“You can’t,” whispered Twilight, barely able to voice even that much of a complaint now. “Friendship… won’t let us down… It can’t end like this!”
Grogar smiled cruelly. “Can’t it? Truthfully… you were not at all prepared. You never stood a chance.”
Everything slowly faded to grayscale, and tarnished bronze letters materialized, reading “THE END”
Then the “camera” drew back and slowly descended, putting Prince Button Mash in frame… like a game transitioning from a cutscene to player-controlled action, only the game was already lost, no action to take.
“What?” breathed Button Mash. He slapped his cheeks with his hooves. “WHAT!?” He dashed here and there, but the scene was frozen, all except for him. “What just happened? How did we lose? We didn’t even do anything yet!” He blinked, then gasped. “That means… this is just a flash forward Chapter Zero! I can change this!”
“CAN YOU!?” A warp gate flashed open, and a stallion strode out of it, his crimson cloak a shocking splash of color in the gray world. “Grogar wasn’t wrong. He spent the better part of a year preparing for war. All the time Equestria could have used to get ready to face the true enemy…” The mysterious stallion stomped forward, overshadowing Button. “... they spent playing games instead!”
Button Mash stood his ground. “S- so?! Don’t talk about games like they’re bad! Games are fun, and super awesome, and they bring ponies… all kinds of creatures… together in friendship!” A light bulb literally flashed above his head, like a two-frame sprite animation. “Wait a minute… We spend all our time playing games… If this was a game instead of real life… we totally could have won!”
Button trotted forward to strike a dramatic pose, then looked back over his shoulder. “So are you gonna help or just stand there… Future Grownup Me!?”
The mysterious stallion started chuckling, then tossed the cloak aside dramatically, revealing himself to indeed be a mighty Alicorn stallion with Button Mash’s colors, wearing way-cool barding with neon traced highlights. His mane flowed, glittering with fleeting symbols and powerup icons. “I usually go by Prince Isthmia in my time… but today I am at your service, Colt Me!”
Prince Isthmia put on a suddenly serious Wise Mentor expression. “Be warned… If you do this, you cannot aid your friends directly. We are the Spirit of Gaming. In any true game, there is a way to win, but the game must be fair.”
Button Mash gulped, then nodded. “Any chance to win is better than this.”
Prince Isthmia knelt down. “Then touch your horn to mine, and let us begin.”
The two Alicorns bowed their heads, touching the tips of their horns together, and power began to flow to the colt, turning his mane flowing as well. The “THE END” sign shook, then shattered apart, pieces flying back together to spell out “GAME OVER … load saved game Y/N?” A white glove cursor manifested and clicked the Y. The sound of a great bell tolled backwards, and in mere moments, time wound back to before the disastrous loss, and a digital timer began to tick up from 00:00
“I have the weirdest feeling,” mused young Button Mash, as they hovered outside of the Final Level, maintaining the game world. “Kinda like I’ve seen this someplace before.”
Grownup Button Mash beamed. “Perhaps you have. Somewhere, some maybe-when? A thousand years from now, give or take?” He winked. “I’d mark it on my calendar if I was you!”
Kendell2 106.2
"...I think we need to set up an encounter," said present Button, tapping his chin as he remembered everything from those Crystalsoft games. Unlike most gamers, he DID pay attention to the credits, very close attention.
"Oh?" asked his future self with a raised eyebrow.
"If that game is right, then Sombra had to choose between his love and his mom a thousand years ago, and even if things aren't exactly right, they got all the other villains right..." he said. "But the credits of those games are Sombra and Radiant Hope working together.... Can we see them?"
"Every game desire has debug mode," said his future self, the two now looking at the human world Sombra and his wife...happy, successful, and awaiting their new child.
"...I think I know what we can set up to beat King Sombra," Button said with a 'checkmate' smirk. "...But we need to set up a way for him to see THIS. The question is how?"
Mtangalion 106.3
“Twilight!” called a familiar mare’s voice. “Are you up yet?”
Twilight Sparkle groaned, squirming beneath warm and comfortable silk bedsheets. “Ugh, too early…”
“Twilight, dear, you’re going to be late!” Unicorn magic grasped the bedroom curtains and drew them wide open. “You don’t want to be late, especially not today of all days!”
“Mom!” protested Twilight, flinching away from the sunlight. Then she froze as that sunk in. “Mom!?” She threw the covers aside, sitting up. “What are you doing in my… castle?”
It *was* Twilight’s mother, wearing a regal gown and smiling warmly at her daughter, but Twilight’s castle… this place certainly was not. The bedroom was enormous, walls, floor, and ceiling all made from a familiar rough-hewn wood. “Is this… the Golden Oak Library? Tell me I haven’t gone back in time again!”
“I should hope not!” Twilight Velvet beamed. “You’re not a little filly any more, dear. It would hardly be proper for the crown princess of the Golden Oak Kingdom to still be sleeping in book forts. Now, hurry and get changed! I want to see you in your new gear before you go on your first adventure!”
Twilight’s brain tried to lock up and reboot at the casual mention of the “Golden Oak Kingdom,” only to get smacked again two sentences later. “Sorry, my… what now?” With a feeling of dread, Twilight tried to look above her own head, going a bit cross-eyed, and there it was, floating just over her horn.
(Twilight Sparkle - Level 4 Alicorn Wizard)
(Heiress Apparent)
She took a deep breath first… she really could have used a paper bag right now, but there was no telling if paper bags even existed in this setting. “Right! I’ll just go and... get changed! In private!" She lifted the simple traveling wizard’s robe, trotted into the bathroom, and locked the door. “Button Mash!” she hissed. “What have you done!?”
No response. Huh.
“Discord?” she tried. There was no answer to this either, and that was more worrisome. “Exit enchanted comic!” Still nothing.
When she emerged from the bathroom, another pony was waiting for her… Equal Libram, her very own Captain of the Twilight Guard, only now the floating text proclaimed him to be a Level 6 Unicorn Warrior (Royal Squire), and he looked nearly as confused as she felt. “Princess!?” He kept his voice low so Twilight Velvet wouldn’t hear. “What is happening? Are we really going on a ‘quest’ to fight giant rats in the castle basement?”
“Just play along for now!” she urged him.
“Well, what about that?” he asked, pointing out the window.
Twilight approached the window for a better view, and saw…
Ponyville. And Canterlot, practically a stone’s throw from each other. And Appleloosa, and Manehatten, and the Dragon Lands, Griffonstone, the Crystal Empire… Half of all the known world, crammed into a single valley like a theme park… Or rather, Twilight realized with a sinking feeling, just like the Overworld map of a role-playing video game.
And right in the center of everything, an enormous, twisted version of the Friendship Castle rose… built of corrupted black crystal, surrounded by lava pits and ominous clouds, and proudly flying the ancient black and gold banners of Grogar, the Tyrant of Tambelon.
“Horseapples,” muttered Princess Twilight. That seemed to sum it up fairly well.
In the cellar of Castle Golden Oak, a door slammed open. Princess Twilight trudged up the stairs and out of the dungeons, filthy and bruised but now a far more capable level 10. “I can’t believe the giant rat boss was literally named Rat Boss!” she ranted. “Or that he was in league with Grogar!”
“Well, of course he was,” said Equal Libram, holding a tattered letter in his magic. “There has to be a plot hook to the main adventure, after all.” The guard captain snorted. “For my part, I can’t believe I’m still breathing.”
Twilight glared at him. “You are NOT getting killed off to show how strong the bad guys are! Not on my watch.” She turned and trotted away, stomping her hooves.
Equal Libram smiled, following. “But why else would I be here? Your heroic friends are the ones who should be by your side, your highness, not a ‘background pony’ like me.”
“Stop that. There are no unimportant ponies, only…” As Twilight opened the doors to the great hall, there was a swoosh and a familiar flutter of leathery wings. “Spike!” she exclaimed, grinning and cantering over to the nearest table. “You’re here too? Thank goodness! We need to warn the allies of the kingdom about Grogar at once.” She glanced around, searching for him. “Spike?”
“Guess again,” rasped a high-pitched voice. A young dragon landed on the table, but it was Garble, looking no older than Spike when he’d just gotten his wings. He shook a small clawed fist. “If you laugh, I’ll set your mane on fire! I swear, I’ll totally do it!”
Twilight gave the young Garble a tight smirk (Celestia’s smile #42). “I won’t, Garble, but I still need to send those letters, and I know that you know the dragon mail spell.”
Garble recoiled. “You want me to… Seriously!? I’m not your delivery service!”
Twilight paced, agitated. “There’s no time to argue! The future of Equestria is at stake, and I have a bad feeling that this game is much more than just a game!” She looked at Garble expectantly, until he finally pulled out a parchment and quill, muttering darkly. “Thank you, Garble. I know it can’t be easy for you, being placed in the role of a number one assistant, but we can still save the day if we work together!”
Twilight struck a pose. “To Princess Cadence and Prince Shining of the Crystal Empire… from Princess Twilight of Golden Oak… I have urgent news of the utmost importance…”
Five minutes later, Garble sealed the letter, then burned it with a jet of cherry red flame. He watched the smoke zip out an open window, and inexplicably, he started snickering.
Twilight’s face fell. “Garble? … Garble, what did you do?” Her face fell as a sudden horrible suspicion crossed her mind. “Garble, how many Ponish words do you know how to read and write?!”
Garble only laughed harder, rolling on the tabletop.
On the far side of the game world, in another castle, Prince Shining Armor scowled at the magical letter in his hooves. “Do you know dragon runes?” he asked, thrusting the letter towards Cadence.
Cadence winced, seeing the letter. It featured wall-eyed stick figures of Twilight and Equal Libram, with “Worst Princess!” and an arrow pointing to Twilight. There was also a portrait of Garble in a completely different art style, looking like a handsome musclebound hero with a parchment and quill, captioned “Obviously the real hero, duh!”
Cadence looked back to Shining apologetically. “Yes, but… I think you get the gist.”
Shining rose from his throne. “Get my plate mail! We’re going on a little trip.”
Time seemed to slow as Twilight and her companions marched towards the castle’s front gate, dramatically striding in formation. She wasn’t sure if three creatures really constituted a proper power trot formation, but she was determined to make the most of it.
“It’s time to gather the party and venture forth!” she declared, brimming with hope. She struck a pose, and counter-rotating hologram closeups of herself appeared, while bold text slid into place, reading “Princess Twilight Sparkle, Alicorn Wizard.” She winked, flaring her wings.
Captain Equal Libram got the same hero treatment, though he frowned uncertainly through the whole thing. “Who are we trying to impress, exactly?”
“Dude, don’t be lame,” said Garble, pushing the stallion aside. “This is our chance to look cool!” The young dragon flexed as mightily as he could given his current diminutive size, only to recoil when the floating text declared him to be “Garble, Dragon Scholar.”
“What?! Buck that!” Garble pumped his wings and breathed fire all over the offending words. “Class change!” flashed with a dramatic fanfare, and the floating ash reformed as “Garble, Dragon Brawler.” He swung a pair of heavy maces in a miniature whirlwind of death, then smashed them into the ground as he landed. “And don’t you forget it!”
Equal Libram smirked as they proceeded through the castle gate, finally setting hooves and claws into the new game overworld. “Your weapon technique could use some work.”
Garble arched a brow. “Um, hello? Dragon? I’m pretty sure I can beat any *pony* without any lame training.”
“What about foes tougher than a pony?” Equal Libram persisted. “Or many foes at once? Don’t you want to be better, stronger, more capable?”
Garble blinked, pausing in his stride. “Huh. When you put it that way…” He gave Equal Libram a claws up. “Fine! Let’s see if your *pony* training is any good. We’ll just slag the bad guys in that castle right quick, and then…”
Whatever else he was about to say was lost when an ominous group of creatures appeared before them, shrouded by dark, dramatically concealing mist. One of them fired a tremendous magical blast, and without hesitation, Equal Libram threw himself in front of Twilight!
While Twilight shrieked and Garble snarled in outrage, Equal Libram was sent tumbling back, straight into the bottomless chasm which protected Castle Golden Oak. The stallion clung to the edge with a single hoof, struggling to pull himself up… and then he gave Twilight a cheeky grin. “C-called it!”
Then his hoof slipped, and the chasm claimed him.
Session 106.6 Mtangalion
“Equal Libram!” Twilight staggered, aghast, then whipped around to face the dramatically concealing mists, where several somecreatures were chuckling darkly.
“It hurts, doesn’t it?” crowed a familiar voice. The mists swirled, and Queen Chrysalis stepped forth, now wearing jade green boots and armor. “To have reliable, obedient minions…” She lunged in Twilight’s direction, snarling. “And then to have them cruelly taken away!”
A weak, hacking cough echoed up from the depths of the bottomless chasm. “Hello? Princess?” called Equal Libram faintly. “I’m... not dead! Turns out... ‘bottomless’ chasm was a bit of a misnomer...”
“How could you?!” shouted a teary-eyed Twilight, as if she hadn’t heard him. “Equal Libram was more than just some ‘minion!’ He was a loyal soldier, devoted to protecting all the ponies of Ponyville!”
“So if you could just toss a couple of healing potions down here...”
Twilight leveled a hoof at Chrysalis. “What’s more, on this adventure he was finally starting to open up more to the rest of us, becoming a comrade, a friend even! And now he’ll never have a chance…” She gasped and drew back as the mists dispersed entirely, revealing the rest of their foes. “Tirek too? And Cozy Glow? And you must be Grogar! You’re all working together!?”
Tirek bellowed with laughter, now charged with enough magic to be a towering juggernaut. “And more besides, Princess Twilight.” He leered down at her. “While you, on the other hand, stand alone.”
“Um, hello!?” Garble took to the air and brandished his maces, though they swung his small body around as much as he swung them. “I’m right here!”
Tirek merely arched a brow. “You stand alone, bereft of *useful* allies.”
Cozy Glow fluttered over to Garble smugly. “Ooooh, burn!”
“Oh yeah!? I’ll show you a burn!” Garble spat flames at Cozy, causing her to shriek and frantically dodge.
“You… big meany jerkface!” cried Cozy, diving to the ground and rolling in the dirt to put out the embers in her coat. “That wasn’t nice at all!” Then she giggled disturbingly, flashing a grin full of sharp jackal fangs as her body started to expand. “Maybe I’ll just show you *my* beastly side!”
Grogar telekinetically bonked Cozy on the head, reverting her to normal, then pulled her back to his side. “I believe that’s enough of a teaser for that.”
Chrysalis rolled her eyes at him. “Oh, please. There isn’t going to be a round two, once I’m through with her!” She charged up her horn, Tirek clenched his fists, and Cozy pulled twin hoofblades out of her mane.
But the whole one-sided beatdown was put on hold when storm clouds suddenly rolled in and thunder boomed! “Yes, things were definitely looking grim for the heroes!”
Princess Twilight blinked. “Discord?!”
“That is, until Captain Wuzz showed up!”
“Hey, don’t forget us!”
“Eeyup!”
Three new combatants stood up on the battlements of Castle Golden Oak, basking in the glow of lightning strikes and their own heroic theme music, then leapt to the ground between Twilight and the villains, making perfect superhero landings.
(CAPTAIN WUZZ, LEGENDARY LEVEL 99 RANGER LORD!)
(GARBUNKLE, LEGENDARY LEVEL 99 ARCHMAGE!)
(LORD MCBIGGUN, LEGENDARY LEVEL 99 BATTLEMASTER!)
Garble twitched, seeing his rival/dragon pal/whatever with maxed-out stats. “Hey Spike, you sure you didn’t rip off my name back when you made that character? You’re still going with that story?”
Spike chuckled sheepishly, scratching his head fins with a claw. “Uh, can we talk about that later?”
“It seems the tables have turned!” spoke Grogar, unfazed. He lit his long curving horns, pulsing with his signature gold and black magic. “Or have they? Come, do your worst! Or is it ‘do your best’ with heroes? I was never quite certain.”
Twilight’s mind was racing, trying to take in this new situation. “I don’t understand. The adventure has barely even begun, so why would…” Her eyes widened. “No! Don’t attack them! It’s…”
“Fight in the Shade!” shouted Discord, unleashing a volley of thousands of magic arrows.
“Terra Slayer!” cried Spike, firing a blinding burst of light.
“Final Omni Braver Meteor Rain Slash!” roared Big Mac, whirling his sword.
Grogar waited for one breath, two breaths… and then he smiled coldly. “Tambelon’s Toll.” An ancient cracked bell floated over his head and sucked in *all three* attacks, rendering them into little more than a mild breeze to ruffle the villains’ manes.
Discord’s jaw dropped about three feet. “Uh oh.”
“‘Uh oh,’ as you say, is correct.” Grogar gestured, and the Bewitching Bell rang again. The three legendary heroes cried out, collapsing with hooves or claws over their ears, while torrents of magic and power were drained out of them, rolling their levels all the way from 99 back to level 1. “And now...”
“Now?!” asked Chrysalis with bated breath.”
“Now!?” asked Tirek, grinding a forehoof.
“Now?!” squealed Cozy Glow, sharpening her blades.
“Now… we taunt them.” Grogar threw back his head and roared with evil laughter. The others looked at him like he’d finally lost it after centuries of evil plotting. “Laugh with me!” he urged them. The other villains shrugged and joined in, awkwardly at first, but they had a pretty good evil team laugh going by the time he abruptly cut them off.
“We’re done here,” said Grogar, sneering with contempt at the heroes. “You are utterly beaten and without hope, Princess Twilight Sparkle. Know that if you ever dare to challenge us in the Friendless Castle, it shall be your end.”
Tirek did a massive double-take. “You cannot be serious. They’re right there, at our mercy!” He gestured to the fallen legendary heroes, and Garble and Twilight trying to rouse them. “We can destroy them together!”
Grogar fixed him with a glare. “You just don’t get it, do you?” He lit his horns, and a warp gate formed, swallowing up the villains and teleporting them away.
Back in the corrupted Castle of Friendship, Tirek ROARED, stamping his hooves and pounding the walls with his fists. “Why... why did you do that!?” Chrysalis, Cozy, and the host of other villains wisely kept back, away from his wrath. “Answer me, old goat, or by Tartarus I’ll find a way out of your control and beat you into…”
Grogar’s gold and black lightning crackled, stunning Tirek into submission. “Clearly, absorbing magic doesn’t make your brain any bigger.”
Grogar paced across the throne room and gestured to the Cutie Map, which had changed to reflect the warped world outside. “Like it or not, we are all bound to the rules of this…” He made a sour face. “... foal’s role-playing video game. Defeating the heroes when they were still fresh out of the starting dungeon would have been a massive anti-climax. Just as the elder heroes could not win the game before the adventure even properly began, so it would have been for us. The world itself would not allow it.”
Chrysalis smiled cruelly. “But sooner or later, they’ll have to come here for the final battle.”
Cozy rubbed her hooves together gleefully. “And then we can finally get our revenge, Mr. Grogar?”
“Indeed.” Grogar laughed out of pure evil glee this time, not just for theatrics. “The adventure must be dramatic, and so-called heroes must try their best. But any story can take a tragic turn. Isn’t that right, my associate?”
Behind the map table, Starswirl’s Mirror now hung on the wall, showing a view of infinite darkness… and a floating Neighyptian mask, which spoke despite no one wearing it. “Indeed, Master Grogar. It’s just as you say.”
In the relative safety of Castle Golden Oak, most of the heroes had turned in for the night, knowing that simply sleeping in a bed would restore them to full health. Cadence was tending to them, leaving Shining Armor and Twilight to plan strategy in the great hall.
“Let’s recap,” said Shining. “We’re in a classic RPG video game. The bad guys have taken over the world, and they’re holed up in their fortress of evil, where they’ll probably do nothing until we go to face them.” His quill floated over the map, circling the castle at the center. “Since there’s no time limit, I say we should be as prepared as possible before we face them!”
“But that would mean…” Twilight grimaced. “Do we have to? Really? That could take weeks… months!”
Shining shrugged. “You have something better to do right now? Unless you’ve found some way to save and reload the game, we’ve only got one shot at this, Twily. We need to make it count.”
Twilight massaged her forehead. “That does make logical sense, but… I guess it doesn’t feel right. I’m supposed to be the Princess of Friendship here! Shouldn’t that matter more than who has more levels and hit points?”
“Not that kind of game, sis. Maybe you should give Button Mash a piece of your mind when we get out of here. This game world has his hoofprints all over it.”
“Oh, you’d better believe I will.” Twilight sighed, then cleared the table, penning the beginnings of a schedule and checklist. “For now, though…”
Shining Armor grinned. “It’s time to level grind!”
Mtangalion 106.6
“Now, you see!” declared Grogar, rearing up on his hind hooves. “Now, all can see!”
All around him, voices roared in approval, pumping fists or hooves or claws. The Great Hall of the Friendless Castle was jam-packed with the triumphant quartet of evil, and the many villains they’d recruited.
“The victory of so-called heroes…” Grogar paused, savoring the boos from the crowd. “... is not fated and inevitable. Just as I did in a time before history, we shall rise up and crush the light with unending darkness! Fighting as one, we are unstoppable!”
“Perfect! I love it!” exclaimed the Storm King. “Ooh, the catchphrases are practically writing themselves! Bray, make sure we get that ‘unstoppable’ line on the crossover event comics. Ooh, and on the official Storm Industries Friendless Castle playset!” He twirled his staff, somehow dodging Grogar’s attempts to shoo him away. “Now, I don’t know about you creatures, but working together makes me break out in a rash, so let’s never fight as one again!”
The crowd of minor villains cheered even louder and began stampeding towards the exits, some heading for rooms in the lower floors of the castle to guard them, others heading towards the far corners of the new Equestria, there to terrorize the locals until some heroes showed up.
Grogar was left standing alone, twitching and gnashing his teeth. “Hmph! I knew that was bound to happen, but I’m still peeved.”
“Language!” sang out Cozy Glow.
“PEEVED, I SAY!” Grogar turned and stormed out, slamming a door.
Cozy shrugged and turned in midair. “So like I was saying, our victory was all definitely thanks to me! Mister Grogar couldn’t have used that rusty old bell nearly so well, without the book I got for him.”
Mean Twilight arched a brow. “Really? I calculate an 83% chance that Grogar already knew everything there is to know about the Bewitching Bell, and he was just testing us to see if we’d stab him in the back.”
Ira gasped. “That… is so devious! I need to write that down. I can use it in my lessons with mom on advanced backstabbing!”
“Here,” said Mean Twilight, immediately producing a quill and parchment. Evil clone or not, she was still a Twilight.
King Sombra stalked down a flight of stone steps, making sure to appear properly brooding and dramatic just in case anyone saw him. “It’s back to the frozen north again, I suppose.” He paused on a landing, stroking his chin with an armored hoof. “Perhaps I’ll put some of those blasted wolves in soul traps, see how they like being chew toys! Hehe, ah hah hah… eh?”
Barely two paces in front of him, a crystal sphere formed in a cloud of ones and zeros, then fell. He reflexively caught it in his magic before it could roll down the steps, cautiously bringing it closer.
His eyes widened. “What is this?” Tiny figures danced within the crystal ball. “Is that… myself?” The dashing human in an elegant charcoal gray suit with a crimson tie and crystal lapel pin, that could surely be none other, even in that alien form, but then… The woman in the man’s arms, putting a hand to her swollen belly… Hope?!
Sombra sank to the floor, hooves trembling. “What cruel jest is this!? My beloved and I, happy and free in some other world? But, that cannot be! Never could have been!” He lifted the crystal again, ready to smash it, then froze, realizing there was more than just the image. There was… an essence, a trace of magic long lost… or so he’d thought.
Without another word, Sombra became a plume of black smoke and flew from the castle, all other plans and plots forgotten...
Ardashir 106.7
"One thing," Twilight said as she trotted onward. "What's happening with everypony else? Who are they facing?"
***
"Mwua-ahaha!" Auitzotl cackled as he rubbed a hideous golden statue like a leering toad. He looked out of a window in his castle chamber. "Let that fool Rainbow Dash try to use her pegasus powers to stop me. They will only empower the Idol of Sadoqua, making her 'realm'," he spat out the window at the image of a ruin-covered jungle with cloud cities floating overhead, "into a mud and muck filled swamp of monsters!"
"I thought your thing was heat and fire?" One of the monsters Grogar bad brought back dared ask him.
"Eh," Auitzotl shrugged. "The Storm King told me I needed to branch out."
***
"A bright fresh mornin' and -- what the hay?" Applejack looked down at the bright metal armor she wore, an axe slung across her back. She looked out her bedroom window. Half of her apple trees looked shrunken and poisoned. Even as she watched a few more turned sickly brown, leaves hanging limp.
"Uh, Blondie?" With a flapping of scaly wings and a grunt of effort, a Spike-size Sludge flew in. "I think we gotta problem."
"Whole town like this?" Applejack asked.
"Yep." He coughed up a letter from Twilight. "Looks like I'm your dragon mail, too."
"Whole world turned inta a game? Here we go again," Applejack grumbled. She hefted the axe and trotted for the door. "Ya ever want ta drink some cider again, Sludge, ya better come along."
***
"PBBBBT!" Cozy Glow flew down the hallway of the Friendship School. She stopped in front of the Mirror Gate and blew a raspberry at her pursuers. "Can't catch me, losers!"
"This time we will!" Smolder snarled as she flew after Cozy. Gallus, Silverstream, and a monstrous Ocellus flapped after her, wings beating for speed. Sandbar and Yona charged down the hall, hooves striking hot sparks from the stone floor. "Ya ain't tricking us this time -- Yow!"
"Golly, guess I just did." Cozy snickered as she flew up, letting the pursuing Student Six fly right through the mirror and to whatever lay beyond. "Have fun in monkey world, you stupid sillyheads! Lord Grogar changed the gate so it won't transform you; you better hope you can talk your way out of a dissection lab." She flew away laughing, not noticing the plume of black smoke that slithered through the still open gate behind her.
***
"And that's another problem out of the way," Grogar laughed as he used his magic to scry on Cozy's trick. "Let those brats cool their hooves in the human world. Once I've conquered Equestria, maybe they'll be next."
"Great idea, boss," the Storm King rubbed his hairy hands together. Ignoring Grogar's scowl, he said, "I've heard things about some of the weapons they supposedly have there," ones potent enough to get rid of you, you old goat, "and I can't wait to bring them back. Ah, for you, of course."
"That's right," Grogar sniffed, and then he asked with a cruel smile: "Are you a loyal slave?"
The Storm King choked but bowed low enough to hide his expression and said, "Of course... Master."
"Then leave," Grogar pointed to the door. "Get to your part of the Friendless Castle, and get everything ready!" As the Storm King left, Grogar looked back at his scrying crystal. His horns glowed and his eyes narrowed in annoyance.
"Where is Sombra?"
Mtangalion 106.8
All up and down the halls of Canterlot High School, phones began to beep and chirp, delivering a long awaited announcement to the subscribers of a certain online video game.
“This is amazing!” shouted Apple Bloom
“It’s almost here!” said Scootaloo, practically bouncing in place.
Sweetie Belle shared a huge grin with her best friends. “Canterlot Crusader World of Horsecraft New Patch Conquerors, YAY!!!!”
“It’s about time!” grumbled Garble the dog. “We’ve been waiting for days and days and…” He tried to count on his toes, and quickly gave up. “A whole lot of days!”
“But we haven’t finished all the stuff from the last time they made new stuff,” pointed out Ember. “We were busy teaching Smolder how to play.”
Smolder the puppy had one of the wireless game controllers in her teeth, growling and shaking it all around. “Yip yip! Did I win yet?!”
Gilda stalked down the creaky wooden stairs of their house, yawning profusely. “Ugh, it’s too early in the morning for all this noise.” She snatched her phone off its charger and started flicking through messages. “Spam, more spam…” She froze. “What the buck!? Seriously, what the… Scuse me gotta run!” Then she dove out the front door and literally flew away in a flurry of glowing bronze feathers.
Gallus smirked from his seat at the kitchen table. “Heh, she didn’t even try to hide it that time.”
“Buck!” exclaimed Smolder, wagging her tail. “What the buck!”
Gallus shrugged and took a bite of his toast.
“This… is the worst possible thing!” declared Micro Chips, dramatically whipping off his glasses. “The final raid of the expansion is coming, but with no public test, how can we master the new raid before it’s even released?”
Then he slipped his glasses back on, chuckling darkly. “It doesn’t matter. We’ll prove that we’re the best World of Horsecraft raiders in the world, even with no advantage!” He started touch-typing rapid-fire on his phone with two thumbs. “Team No-Life, assemble!”
CrystalSoft President Sombra’s phone started vibrating in his pocket, but he smoothly ignored it and continued his presentation of the company’s quarterly financials.
“This is totally awesome!” whooped Rainbow Dash, clearly resisting the urge to pony-up and fly loops around Twilight’s home, but only just. “Not only are we fighting Lord Tirek, but Sombra and Chrysalis are coming back too! Plus the Jackal Queen!”
“Whoever that is,” mused Shining Armor, browsing on a tablet with a frown.
Rainbow grinned. “Plus, the big mega-boss of the whole league of evil bad guys, someone we’ve never even heard of before!”
Twilight pinched the bridge of her nose. “I wouldn’t get too hyped just yet, Rainbow. I mean, I want new content as much as anyone, but last I heard, the new patch is still six to eight months away, thanks to that blue flu outbreak.”
Shining nodded. “Some joker probably hacked the official CrystalSoft account and released a fake trailer.”
“But the trailer can’t be fake!” protested Rainbow. “Look how detailed it is! I bet it’d be less work to make a new patch for real than to fake all this!”
Spike the dog looked up at them. “You don’t suppose… somebody went to the real Equestria and filmed a bunch of stuff, then slapped the game interface over it?”
Shining Armor chuckled. “I don’t think so. We’ve all been there, and it didn’t look like… well, this.” He pointed at the swooping camera view of the immense and foreboding Friendless Castle, looming over the adventuring town of Ponyville. “I mean, call me crazy, but if that’s the state Equestria is in, they’ve got a lot bigger problems than just Lord Tirek.”
Buck her beat up old car and morning traffic, buck the risk of somebody spotting her… A very griffoned-up Gilda wrenched open a third-story window and flew directly into the QA offices of CrystalSoft…
Only to nearly plow straight into Pharynx, who’d just flown in a different window, hovering on big sparkly bug wings. “You!?” shrieked Gilda, pointing at him.
“You!?” echoed the equally shocked dark-green-skinned human.
“You’ve been to Equestria too!?” they finished together.
Pharynx shook off his surprise first, dropping out of his ponied-up… bugged-up? .. changelinged-up state? “No sharding way is there any new patch ready to release next week.” He chuckled grimly. “Not unless aliens from Mars or people from the future beamed it to us!”
Gilda dismissed her own wings and dropped into the chair next to him, already typing rapid-fire. She tapped a final key, then leaned towards her screen, floored. “Or candy-colored ponies from another dimension, maybe?”
On her screen, there was a brand new beta server, already loaded up with a release candidate build…
CrystalSoft Lead Developer Discord took several deep breaths. “No no, dearest. Daddy isn’t mad, it’s going to be okay! I just need to know… WHAT. DID. YOU. DO?”
AI Screwball peeked out of her book fort on Discord’s monitor. “So... remember when you said that Mister Sombra said we needed a new patch fast, daddy?” She nudged her forehooves together. “I found all this really cool data for a game just floating around out there, and it was a 90.99% match for World of Horsecraft and it looked really neat and nopony was using it, so…” Her icon beamed at him. “I kinda borrowed it!”
Discord considered this, folding his arms. “We’re going to be extremely rich, or extremely fired. There’s no telling which.” A grin spread across his face. “Just the thing to liven up a dull work week!”
Mtangalion 106.9
It wasn’t that long a walk from Sweet Apple Acres into town, but apparently even that was too much for Sludge. The pudgy little dragon complained about his wings getting tired, and then that his feet hurt, and eventually he climbed up on Applejack’s back, just like Spike used to ride around on Twilight.
Applejack resisted the urge to buck him right off. It wasn’t as if this version of Sludge was heavy… heck, her new adventuring armor weighed more. And even Sludge wasn’t dim-witted enough to complain about getting a bumpy free ride, not yet at least.
Like her farm with all the withered trees, Ponyville was… different. The Ponyville she knew never had a three-story inn smack dab in the middle of town, or a huge sports arena.
An off-color clone of Big Mac passed them on the road, with a slightly robotic stride and a goofy grin plastered to his face. “Mornin’! Nice day for apples, ain’t it? Eeyup!”
“Won’t some brave pony lend me their aid?” cried another stallion, this one resembling Mr. Cake. “My wife and foals have gone missing in the Everfree Forest, and I fear I may never see again!” He made an exaggerated show of crying about it.
Sludge turned, watching them as AJ trotted on by. “Looks like ponies doing pony stuff to me. Ya sure this is one of those add-venture games?”
“Ah! Hello and welcome to the town of Ponyville!” said Mayor Mare brightly… with a literal golden exclamation point floating over her head.
Applejack furrowed her brow. “Call it a hunch.” She paused, ears flicking. “You hear that?”
“Hear what?” asked Sludge, before he heard it too.
It sounded like a clock ticking, only huge and dramatic, every tick and tock booming across Ponyville. Both dragon and pony found themselves looking up at words, written across the very sky! (Server coming online in 3… 2… 1… )
And then all Discord broke loose.
People began popping into existence all around them! Not just ponies, but all kinds of creatures! Griffons and young dragons, jogging around like they owned the place. Deer! Thestrals! Changelings and wolves, just mingling with the crowd undisguised! And every last one of the newcomers had a name and title floating over their head, neat as you please.
It took less than a minute for the town square to get crowded, and then very crowded, more jam-packed with creatures than Whinny Land on a hot summer day.
“Looking for group, new quests!”
“Ugh, can’t Crystalsoft fix this lag? Of course, there’s a login queue already!”
“Lawl, shut up loser! Ha, it’s like this is your first patch!”
“Need healer to run the new Abysmal Abyss dungeon and good to go!”
It was too much… Applejack shoved her way out of the crowd and into an alley, where she leaned against a wall, panting. “It’s like some kinda nightmare…”
Sludge nodded fervently, shuddering. “Did ya see how every one of ‘em was *running* everywhere? What the slag is wrong with those guys?”
“AJ?” asked a familiar stallion’s voice. “Oh wow, you got some new armor already!”
Applejack froze, then turned slowly to behold Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle… with “BBBFF” and “Faithful Student” floating above their heads, respectively.
“Applejack?” asked Twilight. “What are you doing here? You said you and Mac were busy with planting, and you’d catch up with the rest of the guild this weekend.”
Applejack gulped. “Hoo boy.”
Mtangalion 106.10
“Well done, brave heroes!” declared Queen Gilda, her wings spread in a regal pose.
Five adventurers with those crazy names and titles floating over their heads - two ponies, a changeling, a diamond wolf, and a yak - stood before her. This made the bakery that doubled as her home and audience hall rather cramped, and how the yak had actually fit through her front door was a bit of a mystery.
“By defeating the Gloomfeather Cult in the Abysmal Abyss,” Gilda continued, “you have saved all of Griffonstone from the scourge of a resurrected Arimaspi! Please, take this reward and go forth, known by all as a friend to griffons!”
The adventurers snatched their reward of golden bits from her claws one by one, then rushed out the door without another word. The moment they were gone, Gilda slumped and resumed banging her head on a wall. “Stupid… lame… quest text! Who writes this bucking crap!?”
Gilda’s front door bell jingled. “Ugh, not again,” she hissed, clenching her talons. “I won’t do it, I won’t… Hail and welcome, adventurer! You’ve come at a time of dire peril for...”
“Uh, could you skip all that?” said Prince Shining Armor. “I’m kind of in a rush.”
Gilda blinked, the spell broken. “Oh, thank Boreas! I could hug you!”
Shining cringed back from her. “You don’t have to…”
“Yeah, I’m not gonna do that,” agreed Gilda. “Abysmal Abyss. Kill the bad guys.” She jingled the magical bottomless sack of quest reward bits that rested on the arm of her favorite chair, which was technically also her throne. “Get loot and rep. Go knock yourself out.”
Shining turned to go, then paused. “You know, I don’t think we’ve met since you became queen, and Celestia only knows when the next Convocation of Creatures will be with all this mess, so… He stamped his hooves, standing at attention. “Queen Gilda of Griffonstone… I, Prince Shining Armor, officially wish you well on behalf of the Crystal Empire! Good luck in your reign, and may you overcome all the challenges before you!”
Gilda blinked, tilting her head sharply. “Huh. You’re not gonna say ‘congratulations’ like all the flank-kissing telegrams Gabby brought me?”
Shining seemed uncertain for a moment. “Should I have? Being a royal never really seemed like something to be congratulated over. I just do what I have to do to protect my ponies.”
Queen Gilda grinned broadly. “Finally, somecreature bucking gets it!” She gave him a claws up. “Good luck to you too. Now scram before this gets sappy.”
Shining Armor grinned back, saluted, and trotted on out, stepping around the just arriving Prince Consort Gerold. There was still some resistance to calling him that, instead of just “the Queen’s griff” or other titles less polite. “Hey, babe,” he purred, padding straight over to her side and scratching the itchy spot between her wings, like he’d bucking read her mind. “You holding up okay?”
Gilda slumped into the scritches, allowing herself a coo and a royal pout. “I’d be doing better if Giles would get his tailfeathers here and get this bucking exclamation point off my head. What’s the holdup?”
Gerold shrugged his wings. “He said he had some plan to turn all this questing junk to our advantage.”
Gilda blinked at him. “Huh? How?”
“Un-bloody-believable!” muttered Giles the griffon wizard, peering down from his high perch. The streets of Griffonstone were swarming with creatures of every sort, like they hadn’t been since King Grover’s golden age. That was fine by him. More busy adventurers meant more bits, buying up griffon scones, griffon cider, and adventuring supplies of every sort.
No, what he minded was the magic-wielding griffons among these so-called adventurers. Priests of Boreas and Astra... with actual holy powers that weren’t a scam! Wizards, illusionists, shadow mages… there was a feathering summoner showing off her pet phoenix right in public, for Boreas’ sake!
“How dare you!” snarled Giles, swooping down and landing in their faces. “You didn’t earn that magic! You… you didn’t have to skulk in the shadows, one of only a clawful of magical griffons in all the world, struggling to learn your craft without proper aid, always in fear of the mob and the torches and pitchforks!”
The summoner laughed in his face. “Dude, are you roleplaying?”
The griffon rogue next to her tisked, casually flipping a dagger. “Oh yeah, I remember! The character creation screen said that griffon wizards were rare or some junk. Just ignore him.”
Giles watched them move on, slumping so dejectedly that his spectacles slid halfway down his beak before he harrumphed and nudged them back into place. “Well then!”
Giles took wing again and flew a short ways to the central market square, where Greta and some of the other “quest givers” had already set up a booth. “Attention, everycreature!” he boomed, with the help of a voice-amplifying charm. “I have an important new quest to share!”
Some in the crowd paused to listen… not as many as Giles had hoped, but enough for a start. “We’ve made great progress in rebuilding Griffonstone these past few years, but fully two-thirds of the original city remains rubble to this day, including the entire palace district! Starting right now, we’re giving quests asking you to help us repair and rebuild!”
“What?!” bellowed a hulking yak with a horned helmet. “You want us to do boring work for gold, when we could be beating up Tirek? Eeww! That’s, like... having a real job!”
Giles cringed, sensing that he was losing the crowd. “Now now, hear me out…”
“I don’t know about him, but I could use some cheap skillups!” shouted an earth pony wearing an apron with carpentry tools. Several other crafters started nodding.
“Yes, indeed, there will be ‘skillups’ aplenty!” said Giles, seizing on that. “We might even be able to supply some of the raw materials.” He gestured broadly. “And just think! When all the residential areas are rebuilt, you might even be able to purchase land within the city, to truly be a part of the community that you’re investing in today…” The crowd went silent, catching Giles by surprise. “Eh?”
A young dragon flew right up in his face. “You’re opening a new housing district!? Someplace with tons of new houses that aren’t already all bought up, where new guys like us stand a chance of owning one? Well, why didn’t you say so!?”
The crowd *stampeded* towards their booth like an army of yaks, pushing and shoving to get in line for the new quests, and then they were off to the races, filling the city with the sounds of hammering and sawing and chiseling. Giles was left staring in awe. “Well, that’s just bloody brilliant. There’s no way *this* could all go spectacularly wrong on me, oh no... I wonder if it’s too late to go hide in my tower again.”
Session 106.11 Mtangalion
Shining Armor trotted briskly up switchback stairs, making the long climb to Griffonstone’s recently reconstructed airship docks. Along the way, he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of all the griffons and other airborne creatures, lazily gliding back and forth every which way on their own errands. Even with the recent boom in tourism and trade, Griffonstone remained a city of winged creatures, designed by and built for winged creatures, and getting around on hoof could be downright exhausting.
He chuckled, shaking his head. “Well, they did offer to let me ride the cargo lift. Guess I can’t complain if… Wait, what?”
An earth pony adventurer went sailing past, wearing heavy plate mail no less! Apparently, all that weight was no problem at all for his miniature sky chariot. Heck, he was browsing through a journal and not even looking where he was going! The chariot’s team of tiny mechanical changelings did all the flying for him.
There were more creatures using devices to fly, now that Shining had noticed. A diamond wolf rocketed by, propelled by a backpack with wings of pure magic. A deer zipped past him too, riding a jeweled platform supported only by glowing crystals.
And that griffon over there… he didn’t need a sky chariot, he was just being lazy! Or maybe he was showing off the chariot. It *was* pretty cool, Shining had to admit, with its carriage shaped like a snarling beast frozen in black metal, with a team of three black drakes pulling it. It would have looked right at home in Princess Luna’s private collection of bizarre and historic airships. Come to think of it…
“Oh, oh wow.” There was a unicorn mare on the steps above him, purple with a long tri-color mane of pink, magenta, and violet. She wore an illusionist’s robes and spell-component pouches. “Another new player!” She hesitated, twisting a foreleg self-consciously. “At least, I assume you’re new, since you’re walking and probably don’t have a personal sky chariot yet. But that’s fine if you’re not! I mean, walking can be fun too?”
Shining furrowed his brow. “Who…” That was a silly question, he realized… her name was floating right over her head. “Lily Lightly, huh?”
The mare froze. “I’m… uh… Yes! I’m Lily Lightly!” She grinned nervously, then sighed. “It’s a terrible name, isn’t it? I knew it…”
Screwball stamped a hoof adorably. “Wallflower Blush! You are not using your real name for your World of Horsecraft character, and that’s final!” The sentient AI filled the computer screen with stop signs and railroad crossing guards. “There’s bad humans who could do all kinds of bad things with your real name online.”
Wallflower grinned hopefully. “Fallflower Brush?”
Screwball’s frown didn’t budge. “Try again.”
“Smallflower Bush!”
Screwball shook her head vigorously. “Bzzzzt! Come on, you’re almost there! I know you love flowers. Just pick something flowery and *different!* You know, like Memory Gardener, or Forget-Me-Not.”
Wallflower had a sudden thoughtful look. “What about…”
Shining Armor smiled. “Nonsense! I think Lily Lightly is a pretty name.” He glanced up again, and his eyes widened. “Wait, you’re in the Elements of Harmony guild? Are you one of Sunset Shimmer’s friends?”
Now it was Lily’s turn to look perplexed. “You know them? I guess… I’m kind of their friend? I mean, they invited me to the guild, but they might have... forgotten I’m around. I totally understand, though! There’s a big patch, big new raid, everybody’s so busy… I just need to catch up!” She blinked. “I… I’m boring you. Oh no, I just babbled a bunch of things and now it’s all awkward… I’m so sorry, I’ll just…”
“Lily!” A breezie darted out of her pack and hovered in front of her, waving an admonishing hoof. “Remember what we talked about!”
Lily Lightly blushed vividly. “Oh, right…” she said in a small voice. “Sorry again.”
Shining Armor blinked. “What for?” He shrugged it off and grinned handsomely. “You’re not wrong… I do have a lot more questing to do if I’m gonna be strong enough to fight Grogar, but I’m sure we’ll run into each other again. Any friend of Sunset’s crew is a friend of mine!”
Unexpectedly, a floating window popped up in front of Lily, making her gasp. “A friend request?! You… you really want… is it okay for…”
The breezie rolled her eyes. “Of course it is! Accept it, you big silly!”
So Lily tapped the floating window with a hoof, then squealed happily and threw her hooves around Shining in a big hug. “Thank you!” Before Shining could protest, she’d already rushed past him and started skipping merrily down the stairs, seemingly heedless of any danger of falling off.
The mystery breezie winked at him and flew off after her.
Shining watched them go, jaw hanging open. “I know they say the true adventure is the friends you make along the way, but…” He glanced at the sun overhead. “Ah! Gotta hurry before I miss the airship.”
At the top of the stairs, Shining found none other than Grandpa Gruff, wearing a quest-giver’s gold exclamation point and angrily shaking a clawed fist at the heavens. “I have endless gold in this quest reward bag, but only when I’m giving it away? What Tartarus is this!?”
“Skip,” said Shining Armor without thinking.
“Go get feathered, pony!” snarled Gruff, suddenly right in his face. “This rant isn’t quest chatter, it’s all me!!”
Shining gulped. “Oh boy…”
Session 106.12 Jarkes With Edits
Suddenly Shining Armor noticed some monsters attacking the NPCs near his location. "All right, let's do this!" He shouted, readying his weapon.
(The Legend of Heroes: Trails in the Sky SC - Sophisticated Fight)
Suddenly he noticed his surroundings growing dark. "What the..." Just then, Screwball popped up.
"This is the tutorial fight! I'm hear to annoyingly explain basic and advanced battle tactics!"
Shining gritted his teeth. "I've been playing this game and others like it for years..."
Screwball shrugged. "Sorry, I'm contractually obligated to do this at the start regardless of whether it's a new player or not. So anyway, first you scroll down through the menu and select 'Attack' before choosing a target..."
Shining groaned.
"I've fought monsters plenty of times without you showing up!"
"Yes but there's a new mechanic where if you throw bits at the monsters griffins from all around will attack them."
"Then just give me that!"
"Sorry. This new patch seems rather clumsy in place."
"I CURSE THE GODS OF GAMING!"
-
Prince Button Mash shivered. "Did someone just curse my name?"
Older Prince Button Mash said, "Won't be the last time kiddo."