"Three days of Blueblood duty. Final offer."
"You still owe me for last time! Do this and we'll call it even."
Two maids were clearly debating something near the door to Celestia's office. Several others were watching, knowing full well that they were at least in the clear. It wasn't exactly a secret, but the maidstaff of Canterlot Castle traded favors and covered each other's shifts very frequently, forming a pseudo-economy based around who was taking easy jobs, and when.
The job today was not going to be easy.
"Ugh! Fine. But if I get yelled out the window for this, you owe me double."
Sighing, the maid who lost the argument put on her best smile, despite knowing Celestia would see right through it in an instant. Steeling her will, she entered the office to tell the princess the bad news. "Your majesty,” she said, bowing politely to the alicorn as she walked in.
"Ah, Feather Duster. A pleasure to see you." Celestia smiled warmly at Feather, but that smile quickly turned to a look of disappointment at the obvious lack of something, followed by confusion. "Did… did something happen that requires my attention? I don't recall any scheduled meetings, and the only reason anypony else would be walking in would be to deliver the cake I asked for."
Feather Duster's eyes darted side to side, desperate to look at anything but the princess at the moment. "Well, uh, you see, that's… sorta why I'm here. The cake storage is empty."
Celestia's jaw nearly hit the floor. "I- I did not just mishear you, yes? The cake storage. My personal stash. Which has always had at least 15 cakes on standby at all times for the past 300 years. Is EMPTY?!"
Feather closed her eyes and flinched as a tiny hint of the Royal Canterlot Voice slipped in at the end of Celestia's questioning. "Y-yes, your majesty. On behalf of the castle staff, I beg forgiveness! From what I understand, Mr. Abernathy enlisted the combined help of Discord, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and Pinkie Pie to empty the whole stock! Princess Luna seems to be having a similar issue with her hard candies, as well, but everypony is scared to tell her."
Celestia slammed her head on her desk. Of all the tricks Nick could have pulled… "I will need to ask my secretary to schedule a moat tossing, as usual, then." She let out a sigh. "Do you know how he did it, at least?"
"No, nopony does. Nick swore Pinkie and the CMC to secrecy with a Pinkie Promise, and Discord simply stated something about 'literary tropes' and 'the noodle incident' as reasons he wouldn't tell. He also said something about leaving a surprise for the readers, but nopony knows what he meant."
"Fine. Tell the chefs to make me a new batch then."
"Um, about that…"
"NICHLOAS ABERNATHY!"
"Good afternoon, my sweet solar sovereign. How may I help you!" Nick took off his sunglasses and looked up from the lawn chair he had been reclining in, situated in the castle garden. The flaming-angry alicorn looked a tad out of place among the greenery, though.
"WHERE ARE MY CHEFS?!"
"Last I checked, they were in the kitchen. Or do you mean your personal squad of cake bakers?" Nick could feel himself starting to sweat. Not from nerves, of course. No, from the sheer temperature due to his proximity to the flying Rapidash currently giving him a death glare. "They're on vacation."
Celestia leaned in closer, almost touching her muzzle to Nick's nose. The heat was restrained enough to keep him safe, but only just. "You sent my personal staff on strike." Her words were thick with venom, plasma crackling behind her eyes as she dared Nick to defy her again.
"Indeed I did. Well, I convinced them all to take the day off individually. Calling it a strike is a bit extreme."
"You raided my cake supply."
"Who would have thought a Golden Retriever, ten dozen maracas, and a tub full of butter was all the distraction we needed?"
"And you did all this. When I am neck-deep in paperwork. On my BIRTHDAY!"
"Yup."
Celestia's flaming mane and tail seemed to increase in intensity. Nick idly wondered if he should be using sunscreen or a fireproof suit. Or both.
"And how, exactly, do you plan to make reparations for such a grievous mistake, Nicholas? Because Luna and I will make sure you regret—"
"I take it back, Nick. This was exactly what I needed." Celestia smiled, clinking forks with Nick and Luna before each dug into their own slice of cake. "I must admit, though, I had no idea about all this! How did you manage to book Luna and I a cruise without us finding out?"
Nick smiled, inhaling the salty sea air as the cruise liner departed from the bay and into the open ocean. "Well, I figured you two needed a break from it all, so I asked Twilight to help me out. After that, she handled everything but the cake raid. It was even her idea to book all your cake chefs on the same cruise so you could have top-quality snacks while enjoying some R&R!"
"Truly, We must thank dearest Twilight," Luna remarked. "She hath outdone herself this time, and we have been desiring a 'vacation', as We hath heard it called, since our return from the moon." She turned to face a server, the sharply-dressed stallion having trotted over to check in on the trio as they enjoyed the scenery. "Ah, thy timing is fortuitous. We would like some jasmine tea, if thou has some."
Celestia nodded in agreement. "I think some chamomile for me will suffice."
The service pony, meanwhile, took a hesitant step back. "Erm, my apologies, your majesties, but the entire stock of tea was jettisoned as we left port. We won't have any until our next stop tomorrow evening."
Nick grinned, leaning back in his chair and kicking his legs up on the table. The princesses were glaring at him again. "What, I never told you two about the Boston Tea Party? The prank war waits for nobody, and I've got some good ones planned now that we're out at sea! A change in scenery for a bit should lead to some new— hey! Wait! Put me down! I'm still monologuing!"
SPLASH
"Man overboard!"