//------------------------------// // Chapter 9: Of Human Fanatics And Royal Simps // Story: Outside Reality // by The reluctant fan //------------------------------// Twilight and her friends met up the next morning at Sugarcube Corner to get breakfast and discuss what they were going to do at Galen’s house that day. “The first thing I want to do is let him know that the princesses will be visiting him in three days. He should be ready to greet them.” “Wait, the princess are coming here to meet him? Why?” Twilight gave Rainbow a half lidded gaze. “Because he’s an alien that has technology beyond our comprehension?” “Oh. Right, that’s a pretty good reason for wanting to meet him.” “Anyway, I also want to go over our written languages with him today. I couldn’t make any progress with the book he gave me last night!” Rarity rolled her eyes. “Well of course you couldn’t. You had no way of deciphering it without Galen to help you. Honestly darling I wonder what the both of you were thinking last night.” “Hehe… yeah, I guess it was pretty silly of us to think that I could understand it on my own.” Twilight flipped through her notes. “I also want to go over our different diets to make sure there’s nothing that’s toxic to any of us. According to Fluttershy ponies can eat meat, as… unsettling as that is. But we don’t know what else he has that could be inedible. Not to mention he might not be able to eat some foods ponies do.” Twilight went though her list one more time to make sure she had gotten everything and set it down. “Spike is also going to be coming with us today. He was curious about Galen’s video games. What about you girls?” “I want to get a look at his wardrobe. I didn’t get a chance yesterday and I’m simply dying to see what human fashion is like!” “Oh, I want to spend some more time with Sam. He’s such a cute little puppy!” “I want to see what kinds of sports humans play! I bet they have some super cool ideas we could bring to Equestria!” “I wanna see what his cool outdoor bathtub is like! It had bubbles and colored lights and so many super awesome things!” “Ah’m actually a might curious about the history of these here humans. The fact that their technology grew so much in just a couple hundred years was crazy! Ah’d love ta see what else they’ve done!” “Well those are all fine ideas. Just try not to overwhelm him with questions and requests. I’m going to go get Spike and we’ll be on our way.” After Twilight grabbed Spike from the library, the group headed off to Galen’s house. As the building came into view. They noticed a certain Green Unicorn walking up to it. “Oh no… Lyra! What are you doing here?” Lyra turned her head and smiled sheepishly upon seeing the six mares and dragon. “Uh, hi! So I couldn’t help but overhear you girls talking about a human living in this house yesterday, so I went to investigate and you were right! They’re definitely a human! I want to meet them myself! I have so many questions for him!!” Twilight groaned. She was worried that this would happen. And she knew that Lyra wasn’t going to back off. “Listen Lyra. This human is a long ways away from their home. We’re trying to help them adjust, and you bombarding them with every question under the sun isn’t going to help matters. Since I know you’re not going to go away, you can meet him, but only if you promise to let us do most of the talking. You can ask him a question or two, but please don’t overwhelm him.” Lyra huffed. “How come you get to ask all the questions huh?” “Because A) we’ve already talked with him, so we know him better than you do and B) we’re not human crazed lunatics.” Lyra grumbled. “Fine. At least I’ll get to meet him…” All of a sudden, the window that the girls used yesterday opened and Galen popped his head out. “Huh. Wasn’t expecting you until around noon. Come on in I guess, I’m just making breakfast. And by making breakfast I mean eating cereal out of the box because I can’t reach anything else in this god forsaken body. Wait, who’s the green one? And is that a bipedal lizard?” “Hey, I’m a dragon, not a lizard.” Galen stared at Spike in shock for a moment before smirking. “Metal. Just don’t burn my house down and we’re cool.” Galen glanced at the vibrating green unicorn in worry. “Seriously, who is she? She looks like she’s having a seizure.” Twilight gave Lyra a nervous glance. “That’s… Lyra. The human fanatic we told/warned you about.” “Shit. I can’t get to my aspirin with these hooves. Yo Lyra, please try to be calm, I do not think you want your first human experience to be them suffering an aneurysm.” “We told her that she’d have to tone it down on the fanfillying if she wants to come in.” “I HAVE SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!” Everyone looked to Lyra with exasperation. “Hehe, sorry, I’m just so exited! A real human and their house just a walk away! This is the greatest day of my life!” Galen took that in with a bored expression. “Yeeeeeah, cool. Look, one question every five minutes. Nothing more or I’ll kick you out. It looks like I'm stuck here for a while, so I'm sure you’ll get your answers in time.” “Of course! Sorry again, it’s just that I’ve spent so long researching humans! Everypony thinks I’m crazy because of it, but now who’s the crazy one huh?!” The unanimous answer was “still you.” “Okay, enough gawking at Lyra’s insanity. Come on in, let me just shut off what I’m watching.” Pinkie spoke up. “Actually, I’m kind of curious as to what it is you find so funny about the videos you watch. It must be hilarious for you to laugh at them so much!” “Eh, I’ll keep it on if you want, but the sense of humor in these videos is basically unstructured chaos and absurdity.” The rest of the mares giggled. “Then I’m sure Pinkie will love them!” “Suit yourself. Hey Twilight, you manage to figure out anything from that book I gave you?” “No! Apart from realizing that we use the same punctuation, I can’t make heads or tails of what anything in here says.” “Figured as much. Well you and I can compare alphabets I guess. Anything else?” “Oh yeah! Princesses Celestia and Luna are coming to meet you in three days. I thought we should let you know as soon as possible so you’d have time to prepare.” Lyra looked at Twilight. “The princesses are coming to visit?” Galen raised a brow. “Huh, didn’t know this was a monarchy. Why wouldn’t the king or queen come?” “What do you mean king and queen? The princesses are the leaders of the country. We don’t have a king or queen.” “…whatever, I’m sure it doesn’t matter. So they’re coming to meet me in three days? The house is already clean, so I guess I’m already prepared.” Twilight blinked. “You’re not going to prepare anything special for them?” “Why would I do that?” Twilights eye twitched. “Because they’re the leaders of the country?” “Hey I’m not technically one of their subjects. If they’re coming to meet me that’s cool, but I’m going to treat them like I’d treat anyone else. No reason to go over the top. Honestly there never is no matter who it is. I like to keep things casual.” “You don’t do ‘casual’ when the princesses are involved!!!” “Why? They malevolent or something?” “What? No! They run the entire country and watch over all of us every single day! They raise the sun and moon every day and night! They’ve kept Equestria safe for over 1000 years! That’s why you should treat them with respect!” Galen’s eyes widened. “Wait, you’re telling me these two raise and lower the fucking sun and moon, and that they’ve been alive over 1000 years?! Are they fucking gods or some shit?!” Twilight put her hoof to her chin in thought. “Now that you mention it, I’m not sure. I’ve never asked. I guess it would make sense.” “That‘s… honestly kinda sick. I’ve never been an overly religious person, but I do believe in god. To have actual deities living among mortals is pretty cool. I guess I get why this place is so peaceful now.” Twilight gave Galen a look. “Now do you realize that you have to make preparations for the princesses?” “Nope.” Twilight nearly choked. “Wh-wh-why?!” “Think of it like this. You say these princesses have been around over 1000 years?” “Yeah?” “Do all of their subjects treat them the way you do?” “Of course! Why wouldn’t we treat them with our utmost respect?” “Has it ever occurred to you that they’d like to be treated like a normal person-or pony in This case without all the worship? After so long, that shits gotta get tiring, maybe even annoying.” Twilight seemed to be at a loss for words at that. “I… I… I don’t know.” Applejack put a hoof to he chin. “Maybe he’s got a point Twi. Ah know that if ah were one o the princesses, ah would get tired of everypony fawnin over me 24/7.” “B-but they’re not normal ponies! They have to be treated with respect!” “Okay A) I never said that I wasn’t going to treat them with respect. My method of showing respect just happens to be acting chill and welcoming. And B) sure they’re not your average pony, but that’s not what I’m getting at. I’m saying they might want to be treated like one. And hey, if I’m wrong, I’m wrong and I’ll try not to get smited by them or whatever.” Twilight appeared to fume for a minute before sighing. “I don’t like it, but I guess if you really think the princesses will be okay with you acting so casual around them, there’s nothing I can do to stop you.” “Glad to hear it. Now come inside so Lyra will stop ranting about ‘meeting a human.’” The mares looked off to the side to see that Lyra was pacing around giving herself a pep talk. “It’s going to be fine! He seems nice, and you have everything to gain from this! Oh, but what if he doesn’t like me?! What if-“ Spike clapped his claws together In front of the mint green pony’s face. “Come on crazy mare, we’re going inside.” “Really?! Ok!” Lyra gulped and climbed through the window after the others. Upon entering and seeing all of the thing inside the house, she began hyperventilating and shaking before passing out on the ground. Galen poked her sleeping form with a hoof. “Is she gonna be alright?” Rainbow waved a hoof. “Yeah, she probably just got too exited. Hey Rares, we need the smelling salts again!”