The Backyard Anomaly
Chapter 3 – Shit's On Fire, Yo
Michael stares with a bewildered expression towards the pony standing in front of him. He slowly looks towards his big windows again to check if they are still intact as if they could shatter at any second.
However, they remain steadfast to Celestia’s repair. He then looks back towards the Princess standing in his living room. Slowly he raises his chest and gets up from his recliner, studying the creature in front of him with great interest and curiosity. He walks to the right and left, observing her, and looking at her horn. It shone and hummed like a windchime when she repaired the windows. He wonders how it works.
“You are a pony princess? A-and how did you do that? Is it Van der Waals forces? Or maybe some sort of weird particle physics we don’t understand? Maybe it's quantum-movement based?”
He then turns around and glances towards every corner of his living room. “Wait is this some sort of hidden camera prankster show, right?” He goes towards a nearby wall and knocks on it, checking if this really is his house and not some fake rebuild. It seemed solid though.
“Because if yes, I really want to know how you guys make her seem so real.” He talks to anyone hiding behind potential walls or hidden rooms. “Guys?”
A few seconds pass, but he gets no answer. He just hears the awkward shifting of Celestia’s dirty wings as she clears her throat, a somewhat amused expression on her face.
“I can assure you that I am real and alive, Mister Keller.”
Michael turns around towards her, slowly understanding that this is real life and not some fantasy. Staring a few seconds towards her, he walks towards the kitchen area and opens the fridge.
“Bloody hell, I need a drink.”
Grabbing a bottle of beer, he quickly opens it and places it onto the counter. Then he glances towards the living room. She is still standing there, ruffling her long feathers while giving him an unsure look.
“Uhm… You want something as well? Uhh..., Princess?”
“I’d appreciate a glass of water if that would be no trouble for you, sir.”
He gives her a nod. She must still be hungry and thirsty since she could have been outside for days or even longer. He wonders how many other humans have spotted her and called the police or maybe even the ACASC.
He opens a drawer and takes an empty glass out. Filling it with some sparkly water, he walks towards her with the glass in one hand and the beer in the other. Slowly reaching out to her, he offers her the glass of water.
Soon he hears the windchime noise again and sees the glass glowing in a gentle golden colour. Her horn shines in the same light and the noise is seemingly coming from her horn. He twitches, spilling a bit of water as he feels the light touching and grasping the glass.
“W-Woha…”
“Don’t fret, dear human. I mean no harm.”
Michael nods carefully and inspects the floating glass with calculating eyes. He uses his free hand to now check if any strings are attached to the glass. He waves his hand under and over the glass, as well as around.
He snorts excitedly, his eyes big and full of surprise and wonder.
“T-That’s nuts! How do you do that?”
Celestia can’t hold back a smile of her own, the human being in front of her reminding her oh so little of her former student back in her homeland. His eyes shone with the same curiosity as hers, albeit being smaller and of the colour light green.
“Well, I’m simply using my magic. It’s quite a basic spell, really.”
Michael just snorts. “Bullshit haha.”
Celestia blinks a few times at his weird choice of words. “But I’m telling the truth.”
Celestia seems to look somewhat insulted, but she then keeps giving him a gentle smile. Slowly taking the glass closer to her muzzle, she studies the water as well, taking a small sip, she opens her eyes wide.
“W-What is that?”
Michael takes a big swig of his bottle and then a deep breath.
“It’s sparkly water. Just some water with carbon dioxide. It’s not toxic if you think that.
“I see.”
Levitating the glass to her lips again, she drinks some more and then quickly empties the class with a satisfying sigh.
“I must say this ‘carbonoxide water’ of yours or how you call it, does taste quite splendid. And I don’t see a reason why you would not believe me, since this water clearly must have been made with a magical spell.
Michael shakes his head and walks towards the couch next to his recliner, slowly sitting down.
“We don’t have magic, Princess. It doesn’t exist as far as we know. And we are pretty sure." Celestia just keeps standing there, not saying anything for a while.
“Others in my nation would call you a heretic after saying this. But I do believe you. The lack of magic in this world is… indistinguishable.”
Michael takes another sip from his bottle, clearly still tired as he had to suppress a yawn.
“So, why are you not spasming around and freaking out like you did after realizing you’re not on your home planet anymore?”
Celestia blushes a bit as he reminds her of her actions. They were not true to a wise and presumably all-knowing princess. But that’s it. She is not all-knowing, and this experience right now proves it to her once again.
“Even after my long life as a ruling princess, I still do have my panic-moments, Mister Keller.”
“Please. Michael is formal enough already.
Celestia gently tilts her head, giving the human a faint smile. “As you wish. Then I insist you dropping the formalities as well. I am not your Princess and hereby you don’t have to call me that.”
He gives her a nod, gently massaging his still throbbing temples with his fingers. “Sure.”
“Anyways, you are right and wrong, Michael. Magic does not exist here, but there is still some of it present. It is merely a tiny little speck, but I can still feel it. Especially certain Elements in the soil give it off.”
She then walks into the middle of the living room, staring out towards the windows. The moon could be seen slowly rising into the sky. A shiver crept over her spine at the view. The moon is way smaller than the one she knows. Yet it looks familiar.
“If there was no magic at all I would be lost for good. Stranded here forever. But there is hope for me like this. My powers could return slowly but steadily and potential ways back to my world would be in reach.”
“So, you can just chillax here, charge up your magic and then poof away when you’re ready?”
Celestia gives off a first wholehearted laugh, smiling at the tired human on his couch. “You are quite something, Michael.”
He just looks at her in confusion.
“But you are technically right. It’s not as easy as just ‘poofing’ away, but yes, the first step would be to slowly heal my magic. And time is most likely only cure for that right now.”
“But you repaired my window and you’re levitating shit like some wicked sorcerer. You’re magic seems fine to me.” He gestures to the still floating glass in her magical grasp. With a soft smile, Celestia puts the empty glass onto the table in the living room, the gentle wind chime noises stop. Just the occasional car and a few crickets could be heard.
“Those were basic spells which do not need high quantities of magic. But I can still feel them being way more difficult than usual.”
“I see… I see.” Michael stares with a pensive look towards Celestia. She looks tired, bags visible under her eyes now as the moonlight illuminates her face a bit. There was still the wound on her front left fetlock, but it seems to be dried up and not bleeding anymore. But her coat and feathers are still a mess.
“You look quite dirty, Celestia. Upstairs next to the room you were in is the bathroom, you can use it if you want.
She would be hurt but hearing him be so blunt and honest with her gently raised the edge of her lips. It is not often that somepony would speak to her like this back in her homeworld.
“Understood.” She wanted to retort something like ‘you don’t look a tad bit better but restrained from insulting her captor… or host for now. He must have had a long day at work and still seems to be digesting the entire situation.
Giving the human a nod, she slowly walks to the stairs. Her hoofs produce a gentle clip-clop noise as her golden slippers contact the linoleum floor. Looking to the left and right she studies his home with curiosity as she ascents the stairs. It clearly was the house of a wealthy being. The floor, stairs and walls were made with precision and sturdy material. She could see posters, potted plants, paintings and other intriguing looking devices all over the place. However, she could study those later. A shower awaited her, and she was looking forward to it.
-Hopefully they have warm water in this world.-
“Oh Celestia?”
Already having ascended the stairs she turns around and looks down towards Michael who is still sitting on his couch, his back faced towards her. His voice seemed rather serious.
“Yes, Michael?” She replies carefully.
“I’m not going to report you to the authorities. But…” He finally turns around, giving her a grin.
“If you want to crash on my home, then you have to help with the chores. I feel like your magic could come in quite handy.
Celestia huffs in disbelief while shaking her head with a smile. This alien creature demanded her to do house chores for him. Her! A regal and ruling princess! Nevertheless, she realizes that here she is the alien and anything but a princess right now with how she looks like.
“As you wish, Michael. Thank you for letting me stay here.”
A swift “No biggie” and a little burp was the only reply she got back, him already having turned his back towards her once again.
Celestia rolls her eyes but can’t help to chuckle silently.
-These humans quite are something-
With a slow gait, she walks towards the door where the shower should be and opens it with her uninjured hoof. Michael downstairs slowly drifts off into a peaceful slumber, mumbling something about his precious blueberry bushes and a horse princess trying to steal them.
The next morning, he slowly feels something warm brush over his cheek and illuminating his eyes through his closed eyelids. Grunting he rolls over to his side, hiding his face away from the early summer sun. He thinks he heard something coming from the kitchen, but he is too tired to process the thought. More sleep is needed after yesterday. Right now, he is a bit unsure whether it all happened or not. But hearing some gentle clip-clop noises from the kitchen remind him that it indeed was real.
-Why is this silly horse not in her room?-
He smiles while licking his dry lips and enjoying the smell of his house. It smells like pancakes and Michael is drowsily deaming of them, his mouth watering.
-Ahh, right, because I did not give her a room yet…”
He groans and yawns, stretching himself a bit, but he feels his motions being impaired by something warm and fuzzy. Opening his eyes, he immediately notices one of his blankets being wrapped around him.
-Huh? Where did that come from?- He did not remember grabbing a blanket.
He rubs his eyes and slowly raises his body. Opening his eyes, he is taken back by Celestia already standing in front of him. Was she watching him in his sleep? What is she doing so early in the morning? Why is it smelling like ash is in the air right now and most of all…
“Why the hell are you wearing an apron?! My bloody apron!”
Celestia chuckles sheepishly as she looks down at him. She is wearing his favourite apron which he bought down in Tennerifa after a gorgeous holiday. It's all dirty, covered with flour, butter and eggshell pieces. Her mane, forelegs and her long slender neck are also covered in those various ingredients.
“M-My apron!” He shouts in disbelief, finally waking up properly as if she poured ice-cold water over his entire face.
“Michael! I-I need your assistance! I may have had a mishap with my magic...”
Immediately a loud beeping noise is blaring from the kitchen. It is the smoke detector. Michael opens his eyes wide, running all his ten fingers through his curly hair. and quickly gets up, throwing the blanket off him.
“You crazy horse!!!” He shrieks in terror “What in the bloody world did you do?!”
His kitchen lays in ruins. Flour is everywhere and he could see a milk jug on its side, the entire content spilt over the counter and his induction stove. On the stove is a big pan with its content torched and on fire. It’s a blazing fire. The white ceiling is already black from all the thick smoke.
Adrenalin is being pumped through Michael’s veins as he sprints towards one drawer in his kitchen. Pulling out a fire extinguisher, he quickly removes its safety and dumps the entire thing towards his stove, swaying the hose back and forth since the fire got that large already.
Celestia is standing there with the apron weirdly hanging from her neck. Clearly it's not designed for a pony but she tried to put it on nonetheless in hopes of keeping her pristine coat clean. But it seems like her skills in the kitchen have rusted quite a bit since becoming a princess and having access to numerous waiters and dozens of cooks.
Soon Celestia loses sight of Michael as he slowly vanishes in the thick white dust of the fire extinguisher. He remains silent, staring at his kitchen with his back turned towards the alicorn. She grows more and more worried as he stands there as if petrified. She wishes he would say something, do something, at least yell at her. But he just keeps staring at his kitchen while the white dust slowly settles, coating the entire kitchen area in a fine white mist.
Celestia huffs sheepishly as she realized what mess she created. She folds her ears to her skull, twitching as Michael lets the fire extinguisher fall towards the floor with a loud thud.
Michael softly speaks to her.
“Celestia…”
She remains silent as he turns around to face her, looking down into her eyes as she tries to hide her face with her multicoloured mane.
“It hasn’t even been 24 hours and already my kitchen was set on fire…. By you, Celestia.” He is still speaking in a hushed and eerily-gentle voice.
“I-I just wanted to-
“Give me one dammed reason to not send you to the ACASC immediately! You crazy fucking horse!” He roars towards her, his eye twitching and his hands clenched into fists.
He liked his kitchen; he really did since cooking is one how his most favourite pastimes. But he guesses that the delivery services will be needed this week.
His heart is still thumping with rage in his chest but as he looks into her eyes, he slowly relaxes his clenched fists and heavy breathing. Celestia is looking up to him in shame, but also with a genuine sorry look. Her big magenta eyes look into his, the corner of her big eyes moist, clearly taking his outburst serious. She looks so silly in this apron which does not fit her at all and with all the ingredients in her otherwise pristine white coat. The golden tiara is the tip of the iceberg, and he realizes how ridiculous the scene in front of him is.
He chuckles and shakes his head in disbelief with a faint smile as he realizes what his live has become.
-Am I really yelling at a cute sentient horse with wings and a horn because she set my kitchen on fire while trying to make breakfast for me? What happened to my life?-
“I’m so sorry. I- I tried to make you breakfast. As a thank you because you let me stay in your mansion.”
Michael keeps looking into her eyes, losing himself in them for a second, his eyes aren’t twitching anymore and he seems to be way more relaxed right now.
“I think. I think it’s for the best if I take my leave and let you be in peace. I’ve done enough damage to your residence already.”
She sighs and lets her head hang down, her wings drooping towards the floor from her sides as she tries to turn away, already seeing the exit towards his garden. However, she feels one of his hands touching her lower neck. She twitches in surprise but then turns around as he gently pulls on her, so she wouldn’t walk away any further.
“Stop... You didn’t mean ill.”
She raises her head and looks towards him, noticing a compassionate and gentle smile on his lips.
“I mean you wanted to cook breakfast for me which is kinda nice. And… I’m insured so the damage to the kitchen surely can’t be that costly.”
Just try to stay away from any electrical devices, okay? Especially for the next 8 hours since gotta go to work right now. I’m kinda late actually.
Celestia just nods, her ears slowly unfolding as she looks into Michaels eyes which suddenly look so warm and welcoming, unlike during his little outburst a few seconds ago.
“Of course, Michael… I’m truly sorry once again.”
“It’s okay, you didn’t know how my stove works.”
He quickly dusts himself off and grabs his car keys while walking quickly towards his front door.
“Okay, I really gotta go now. Food and water are in the fridge. I will be back in the evening. Try not to set the house on fire alright?”
Celestia nods quickly. “Y-Yes of course.” She wanted to laugh at this, but there was some real truth to his concerns about her torching his house down. So, she just nods and gives the human a sorry expression as he opens the front door. He almost closed it but then stops.
“Celestia?”
He looks back into his house.
“Sorry for yelling at you like that. That… was uncalled for.”
He gives her an apologetic smile. She nods understandingly, giving him a smile of her own as a response. Closing the door, he then jogs towards his car and drives to work, various thoughts racing through his mind.
-Did this cute mini horse-princess really put a blanket over me when I was sleeping?-