We spent some time just enjoying each other’s company, just as we should, given the situation, but we had a day to spend together before us, so we might as well start moving. It was quite early in the morning.
“So… do you have a plan for today or something?” I asked innocently, but for some reason she suddenly tensed up and looked at me, almost scared for a moment.
“Oh… umm… yeah! Of… course?” I bet she wasn’t even convincing herself.
“That’s what I thought…”
“Hey! I will show you the time of your life, young… err… stallion?” She replied.
Then I saw it. Her face suddenly full of DETERMINATION. It was the face of someone who was going to do something cool but stupid that they might regret later and knew it, but would do it anyways to impress their pals…
She got up and walked with purpose towards her bedroom. I followed her with my eyes until she disappeared through the door. A little bit of rummaging, a little whinny of triumph and then… CRASH!
What…
I got up and ran to check if she was okay, and she was, but her bedroom floor was a mess. A lot of little pieces of some kind of pink ceramic and… coins all over the place? Cheery was using her hooves to carefully brush the coins together and pushing away the shards of pottery at the same time. Yep, there goes the piggy bank.
I leaned on the doorframe and crossed my arms, watching the display of the pink mare frantically picking up every single coin and putting them in a pouch. During the process she shot a couple of nervous glances at me with a sheepish smirk.
“Now that the sacrifice has been made… I’m really starting to worry.” I interrupted her activity.
“Don’t you worry. It’s gonna be great! I just got the perfect idea!” She replied.
“But really… That’s like… all your emergency savings. You don’t have to do this just for me, you know…” I tried to dissuade her from whatever she was planning. It was obviously too much of an investment.
“Hush you… I’m not doing this for you… well, yes, kind of, but… I’m doing this for ME! I want to show myself that I can do it! I can give a stallion a WONDERFUL date.” She interrupted me.
“I’m not gonna let you pay for all of it, whatever it is.” I told her.
“I’ll bite you if you don’t…”
“I got the feeling that this is spiraling out of control, and you just agreed to make this slow and nice.” I said, getting serious for a moment.
“Oh… um… right.” She stopped in her tracks, took a step back and breathed deeply before continuing. “Would you come with me to participate in the… despicable… horrendous, OUTRAGEOUS! And completely depraved act of having a romantic dinner in a nice place?” She said with an unnecessary amount of drama.
“Oh, uh… you know that I can’t eat some of the normal things ponies do and that a… fancy dinner for a pony might not be as delightful for me?” I asked, a little puzzled.
“Believe me, you are going to enjoy this one and… I’m feeling a little adventurous today. I just got the idea, but it’s a surprise.” She answered.
“Okay then… I’m going to put on some clothes.” And grab some cash just in case.
Oh well, the nicest thing I had was a dark blue set made by Rare Thing out of thick and strong fabric that I purposefully chose to be comfortable, like some kind of tracksuit but somehow she managed to make it look slightly stylish with lighter blue trims and light blue bunny ears on the hoodie for some reason as an inside joke that I had not the privilege of understanding. She said it was to make me sneakier, but how a bright blue trim would manage to do that on a dark set of clothes was beyond me. It was made back when I was living with Timid Wingbeat. I didn’t have any formal clothing, so I was limited to just pay a little bit more attention and comb my hair as nicely as I could with the limited things I had.
When I finally came out of my little room, I found Cheery already waiting for me, and the sight was kind of shocking. She was wearing a black and white checkered scarf around her neck, a couple of blue lightning pendants and reddish pink leg warmers coupled with some multicolor cheap looking bracelets. Except for her mane looking more or less the same and her not wearing any brackets she looked like herself in the pictures she showed me from when she was a student.
“Isn’t it totally radical?” She made a little dance in place.
“Uh… what?” I very eloquently asked, not very familiar with that word in pony language.
“I mean… the outfit, isn’t it… ugh, how do you say it nowadays? Isn’t it cool?”
“Well, not my style, really. I was more into the… 90’s” There I had to think a little to say the number in base four for her.
“Do you mean 990’s after the Nightmare? This is exactly what it is!” She responded.
“Uh… well, that style was more from the 80’s, not the 90’s.”
“Does not, I was there…”
“Uh… I think we are mixing stuff here. I mean in my… planet, that would be from the 80’s.” I explained.
“Oh! So… it has an equivalent in your world but it is…”
“10 years displaced… well, more like 1010 years, because it would be the decade of the 1980’s.” I ended her sentence. Also, the closest equivalent for a ‘decade’ on base four was sixteen years, and that make everything be slightly off. I always thought in base ten by default and studying Equestrian History was a headache with the dates.
“Food for Twilight, not dealing with this right now. We will get to it later, if we start talking about it it’s going to take the rest of the day and it is not how I want to spend this particular one.” She rubbed her forehead with a hoof. Yeah, perfect, I wasn’t up to the task either.
“Yeah… totally agree.”
“So, you like it or not?”
“Um… totally radical? It’s how you, elder people, used to sa…” I started, but she lightly punched my side.
“HEY! I’m not THAT old, I’m just ONE year older than you!” She interrupted me, slightly vexed. Yes, in our time together as a student and teacher, and later as roommates we did the math and figured it out.
“Oooow… why did you punch me? I’m too old for this. Back in the day, when I was young, I would have fought you back and, and…” I started to imitate the voice of an old man.
“Oh, no… just stop it already!” She started to giggle.
“Okay, okay… Let’s get to it, radical mare. What do you have planned?”
“We need to head to the train station, the place I want to take you to is in Canterlot. They have a few extra trains today for couples to go there, it’s a particularly attractive destination in this holiday. It would only take us a couple of hours to get there from Ponyville.” And so, we went outside.
Surprisingly enough, the minty green mare that used to come to the spa was just casually crossing the street when we came out. It felt weird to see her alone (without the other mare, the cream colored one who makes sweets for a living) and walking around at this early hour in the morning to this part of the town. I mean, there is only the schoolhouse at this side of the place, no markets, no stores, only regular houses and the school, and even that is closed tight now… How peculiar.
“Hey, Lyra! Where are you going?” Cheery asked in a cheerful way that, for some reason, gave me goosebumps.
“Uh… just… stretching my legs! Yeah, a lot of work with Bonnie lately… What about you two?” She asked with a distinctive amount of hesitation.
“We are heading to the train station, you know, taking my stallion to a romantic dinner in Canterlot, we need to hurry and get a spot before the tickets run out.” I could swear that she put a little too much emphasis in the ‘my stallion’ part.
“Oh, so… you two are… dating?” She asked, a little bit nervous.
“Yup! Finally, about time, don’t you think?” She answered.
“Uh… err… Oh! Yeah, that… about time. Go have fun you two! Well, I’ll just go and… continue the… stretching of my legs!”
“Yeah, that’s right… stretch them real good. See yah ‘round!”
How peculiar…
We waved our goodbyes and continued on our separate ways, with Cheery having a little extra bounce in her gait. I suppose she was just happy, but I didn’t get rid of that weird feeling until we were halfway to the train station. Was I missing something?
It was just after dawn. Probably Sky Princess just did her thing and put the sun up. I was thankful for the clothing; it was still a little chilly and humid from the night. A pleasant day anyway, but that was to be expected, as the inhabitants of this place more or less controlled the local weather. It would be silly to plan a thunderstorm just for a national holiday.
I have been to the train station a couple of times before. I went to Canterlot for a couple of meetings with the princesses once Purplesmart discovered that I was an alien from another planet. They thought that we should have a diplomatic encounter, but I bet it was more out of curiosity than any other political issue, it was nice anyways, just the princesses offering me an evening of peaceful chatting and tea drinking. I was the only human on the planet and with no way to communicate with Earth, so there was no need to follow any political protocol, just a few curiosities about humans. They were nice enough to tell me that I could write a letter to them anytime I wanted and they would respond, or if I wanted to chat more about anything, I only had to tell Purplesmart and they would take a couple of hours to talk with me. The white one, Princess Sky seemed kind of eager for me to do just that while the dark blue one, Princess Moon was more like ‘Really sister?’.
After half an hour waiting in the platform, one of those trains that looked like they were something out of a toy store for little girls came to a stop and we took it. There were a few other couples and a group of ponies that went in with us, all of them looking more fancy than usual around here. There were also some passengers already inside, from the previous towns the train stopped, I suppose. Apart from a few curious glances in our direction and a ‘humph’ from a unicorn mare in a really fancy dress, no one payed much attention to us. Most of them were couples and they were just enjoying their time together, just as we were. Cheery sat next to me and leaned a little bit on my shoulder. I put an arm around her back and scratched her mane and behind her ears.
It was still relatively early, and by the look of it, Cheery didn’t sleep a lot this night, and the relaxation made her start snoring lightly. After half an hour I fell asleep too.
***
We arrived in Canterlot. Like Ponyville, it was decorated with even MORE hearts and pink things than usual, which by itself is kind of an achievement for this civilization of little equines. Apart from that, it’s Canterlot, you get the idea without repeating how it looks and how it’s perched on the side of a tall mountain overlooking the rest of… a big place and it’s kind of white and gold-ish and castle-ish… yeah, that. Canterlot.
It was slightly too early to have lunch so we went around sightseeing. I had already been here recently, but Cheery hadn’t. It reminded her of her time as a student, but it had been a long time ago. Noticing things that had changed or that remained the same from when she lived here and that kind of stuff. Most of the time we just walked around, visiting the parks and ambling without a particular destination.
We were here to have a romantic dinner, but it was just lunch time and we had to improvise something. In the end, we went to a local bakery that was kind of famous, something like Sugarcube Corner but here in Canterlot. It was called something like Donut Joe’s. There, a slightly pudgier than normal but kind of strong looking unicorn stallion sold us a special ‘Hearts and Hooves care package’ to indulge in for lunch. He just nodded his approval to us.
Other curious thing was how the locals behaved around us. They were mostly dressed in some kind of fancy attire and a lot of them, specially mares, gave us the ‘humph and nose up’ treatment, like making a statement for us to know they were intentionally ignoring us. How charming of them. We made the best impression of naïve, annoying, overreacting and excitable couple of tourists in return. You know, just for them and their enjoyment.
The street was full of coffee shops and tea places, kind of typical here, and by the time we arrived in this particular district we had started to play the ‘Hey, look! A Canterlot something!’
It all started when I pointed at a particular fountain at the center of a park, and it was kind of great and famous but I couldn’t have any idea of its name because of being from a different planet and all that, and Cheery couldn’t remember either. So, we ended up labeling it as ‘A Canterlot Fountain’. And the game was on.
“Hey, look! A Canterlot house!” I pointed at a particularly castle-ish white and gold mansion.
“Hey, look! A Canterlot taxi!” She pointed at a passing taxi, painted as all the other taxis in this city. Drawn by ponies to take other ponies to places…
“Hehehe… Hey, look! A Canterlot lamppost!” I pointed at an especially ornamental lamp that was even more decorated in pink and hearts than usual for the occasion.
“Hey, look! A Canterlot coffee shop!” She pointed to a slightly fancier looking than usual, but otherwise unremarkable coffee shop. Some of the patrons gave us the ‘canterlot humph’ as on in cue. One of them, a white stallion with blue mane dressed in a tuxedo watched us in amusement through his monocle.
“Hey, look! A Canterlot bench!” I pointed to an absolutely mundane bench.
“Hey, look! A Canterlot cobblestone!” Okay, this was getting out of hand…
“Hey, look! A Canterlot canterlotian!” I pointed my finger at random to the first pony I saw and… It landed on a middle aged, slightly pudgy unicorn mare, dressed in a white and purple fancy dress with golden trims, wearing just a little bit too much make up to try to desperately look younger, just a little too much jewelry too and just caught in the act of giving us the ‘Canterlot Humph’. She looked exactly as if someone had told a pony to draw a pony from Canterlot and made the absolutely most cliché version of its inhabitants.
Time seemed to stop. The whole street fell into silence for a moment, not even the birds chirped. The mare in question seemed frozen in the act of lifting her muzzle high in the air and blushing profusely as everypony’s eyes fell on her. And the Tuxedo stallion proceeded to lose his tea in a Canterlot coughing fit.
Maintaining her pose, but quickening her pace, the mare went out of sight as quickly as possible while remaining kind of dignified. Meanwhile, the stallion tried to recover his breath, but was really unable to as a laughing fit followed suit. His companion, a white and pink stylized unicorn mare was just there, holding him and patting his back. Giggles and gossip were already spreading through the tables as many eyes were switching between the couple, the retreating mare, and us.
“I say, that’s one way to make an impression.” The stallion said in our direction.
“Oh, Uh… I guess…” I said, a little bit confused. Cheery seemed frozen in place for some reason.
“No offense intended, but I have never seen anything like you before. Would you two mind to join us for tea and a little chat?” The stallion asked.
“Uh… Cheery?” I gave her a questioning look. She seemed like a deer caught in the headlights of a truck. When she realized I was asking her, she gave a single, jerky nod in response.
“Welp, not at all.” I said, taking a seat in front of them. Cheery followed me.
“My name is Fancy Pants, and this is…”
“Fleur… Fleur de Lis.” Said the mare.
“Uh… Smarty Pants.” I was suddenly self-conscious about the name ponies gave me.
“Oh, by Celestia, that’s a pleasant coincidence, good taste with names, I say. And… What brings you to Canterlot of all places?” He asked.
“Well, just a touristic route, if it wasn’t obvious enough…” I scratched the back of my head.
“Smarty… this is Fancy Pants!” Cheery whispered, but in such a panicky way I’m sure the stallion and his companion heard.
“Yeah, that’s what he said.” I reassured her, earning a chuckle from Fancy.
“And who is this… peculiar and lovely mare?” He asked.
“This is Miss Cheery…”
“Cheerilee.” She interrupted my introduction. Uh, yeah, I have to start using the correct sound for her name and not the mnemotechnic one I gave her while learning Harmonian. It was kind of endearing, but I slipped in this more formal situation.
“Yeah, that. Cheerilee. She is a teacher in Ponyville.”
“Oh, Ponyville… a lot of stuff going on there for such a small and quaint village. A lovely place overall. We ought to visit that more often.”
“And go to Miss Rarity’s… I’m dying to see what is she coming up with this year.” Fleur added, fluttering her eyelashes.
“So… tell me more about yourself. You seem quite a peculiar character, I would like to know what are you.” Fancy said to me.
“And those… clothes… Uh… are certainly peculiar.” Fleur continued, sounding kind of disgusted but fascinated at the same time.
“Well… it’s complicated to explain. One day I was trekking through the woods, and the next I was chased by Timberwolves and rescued in Ponyville. I’m a… human… from… well, let’s say just an alien from another world.” I corrected the explanation when I realized there was no direct translation for ‘human’ in Harmonian and the very way to say it without the music they used to communicate was going to sound weird and just like a noise for them.
“That’s a lot to take on, I say…” Fancy said messing his moustache.
“Did you come through a portal?” Fleur asked. Based on local folklore, aliens here came through portals and not in spaceships. There were actual records of portals to other worlds being opened and crossed by creatures.
“I have no idea. One moment I was walking around in the nature, then I started to see things off and the next thing were the Timberwolves.” I explained.
“Oh… kind of anticlimactic but at the same time quite an adventure, isn’t it? I’m glad you are okay, those things are dangerous.” Fancy said.
“Yeah… I have to thank… Princess Twilight for letting me stay in the castle and granting an audience with… Princess Celestia to clear up my situation.” I used the formal and official titles exactly as ponies pronounced them of Purplesmart and Queen Heaven.
And then something clicked in the couple and their demeanor changed. Fleur started to do overly dramatic poses, like a star posing for a magazine and Pants got surprised and dropped his condescending attitude towards us.
“Oh, I did it again, my dear. I told you I have a keen eye for very important ponies!” Fancy Pants told his wife.
“Even if they are not actually a pony!” She answered.
“Well, I’m not that important. I was only interviewed by Twilight and her friends because I was an oddity.” I tried to play it humble.
“Are you friends with Rarity!?” Fleur asked.
“Oh, kind of. She was kind enough to provide me with some clothing for free when I had no money.” Fleur immediately started to analyze my attire.
“Oh… it seems… uh…” Fleur was obviously confused by the blatantly unfashionable clothing but at the same time trying to process the fact that it was made by Rarity of all ponies.
“I’m pretty sure it is kind of an inside joke, don’t take this outfit too seriously.” I spoke.
We chatted a little bit. Nothing too complicated, just idle chat. Cheery was a little bit uncomfortable, that much I could tell, so after declining to meet again tomorrow with the particular couple with the excuse that we would only be in Canterlot today, we parted our ways. I wouldn’t want to ruin whatever Cheery had in mind as a surprise for me.