Chapter 25: Cottontail Cartel
"Speak of the what now?" Applejack asks.
"Nothing..." I hmm at her as Cream Puff happily bounds towards the three of us.
“Heya there, Mis-Ah, mean, H.B.!” She beams with bright eyes and an all too sunny smile. Then the delightful smell of muffins wafts into my nose. Fetting fet fet, big eyes and tasty muffins. She knows how to find the cracks in my defences...
“Hey Cream Puff,” I reply after hushing that tiny bit of hostility still bubbling from A.J.’s... whatever you want to call it. “What are you doing here?” Pffft, as if you don’t already know.
“Well, Ah went over ta yer house, cause ah wanted ta see how ya were doin’ taday,” she’s crossing her front hooves and giving me ‘cute eyes’.”Cause Ah baked ya some more muffins aaaan’ cause Ah was wonderin’ if ya had changed yer mind about lettin’ me stay over fer a night...”
Eeeeyup, there it is.
“I’m afraid that I’m-” I clear my throat and much to my surprise, there’s a hidden phlegm ball waiting in secret back there. “Eh-emmmah! Yeah, still not feeling all too well.”
“Awww,” she replies, her ears drooping. The curls in her mane and tail seem to go limp and uncurl a bit. Here I thought that was just a Pinkie Pie thing. Crap, this is also going to be an awkward moment, isn’t it?
Fluttershy raises a hoof to my forehead. “You don’t feel feverish...”
“Yeah, I know, thank you, Fluttershy. I-”
“Heavens ta Besty!” Cream Puff’s suddenly exclaims, pointing up at my bandaged leg. “What in the name of Celestia’s wild rainbow mane happened there, Mi- H.B.?!”
“O-oh, yeah,” I murmur. Fet, ointment must be doing something for me to nearly forget about it. “I got burned by fire ants at Applejack’s farm. No biggie though.”
That’s right, H.B. Play it off like it was nothing. LIke you weren’t just screaming like a terrified little school fil-girl crying out for rescue. Don’t need Cream Puff wo-
“Luna alive! Fire ants!?” Her voice pipes. “How did ya manage that? How did ya get away? An’ why ain’t ya a crispy critter right now?!” she asks in rapid fire. “Fire ants ain’t nothin’ ta whip yer tail at! Especially their fire! Did ya know that some have fancy magic fire?!”
“Uhm...” Did not expect that to come from the little filly that would be more at home on a cooking show. I shake my head before I start on an internal monolog. “A series of accidental events. Applejack saved my skin, aaand lucky, I guess?” Glasses need pushing up yet again. “You sure know a lot about fire ants.”
“It’s just.... uhm...Jeepers...” She looks embarrassed by this flash of intelligence.
I shoulda said nothing. You were young once. You know how young kids can be humiliated by showing that they know about things.
“No need to be embarrassed, I just didn’t expect that you knew that much about bugs...”
“Ah nah,” She says, sassily waving a front hoof while shaking her head with a silly grin. “Jeepers Creepers! He’s a colt at the orphanage that knows all about them there creepy-crawlies. Especially the dangerous ones! Sad-faced spiders, orange greed-goblin-basement dwellers, and them there fire ants.”
“Speakin’ of which,” Applejack begins, a bit of an uncomfortable, yet polite smile dawning on her face. “Ah think we outta contin-ya hoofin’ it ta the hospital just in case?”
“Oh! Can Ah come with ya’ll?” Gah! Big Filly eyes alert! Big-
“IiiiiI don’t see why that would be an issue...” What the fet?! Did that come tumbling out of my mouth? Curse you filly eyes! CURSE YOU!! Wait... “Jeepers... Creepers?” A small bell is going off in my head and not just because my brain is begging to finish the lyrics to that song... Hey! Hey! Stop! Brain! Stop! Come on! Stop! “Uhm, why do I feel like I know that name?”
“Pinkie Pie mentioned that she was helping with his birthday party on the day you started showing signs of being sick...” Fluttershy quietly interjects.
“Oh, yeah... That sounds about right...” Geez, how much did I miss during that time? Trying to recall anything from that day or week feels like attempting to pull Artax from the Swamps of Sadness... Alright, knock off the melodrama. It isn’t that bad, just hazy and-
“Ah really like your spectacles there, H.B.!” Cream Puff’s voice shatters my inner monologue like it was sugar glass. All bubbly and sweet as she merrilly skips along beside me.
Say something! That’s what you should do right?!
‘I like tur-’
NO. Anything but that!
“O-oh, uhm, thanks... I guess.” You guess?!
“They remind me of ma Ma’s bifocals!” Her cheerful skipping slows and there’s a slight drooping of her ears. “Course, she’d only take ‘em out when she was readin’ ta me...” Suddenly, they perk back up and she looks at me with a pleading look? Maybe pleading, grin. “Maybe when yer feelin’ better, ya can read this new book Ah found!”
“O-Only if I’m feeling better later, which-” Alright, let her down gently, H.B. “Will most likely not be today... or tonight...” That was good right? Maybe?
“O-oh, right...” she says, every expression in her wee little body touched with disappointment. “Like Miss Hayneighan says ‘Better safe now or ya’ll be sorreh’ later...”
Part of me wants to correct this Miss Hayneighan about the wording of that phrase. The other part is getting an uneasy vibe about how Cream Puff said that. Like it’s hinting at something a bit darker.
“So!” Applejack’s twang hits my ears causing me to jump. “Ya here read ta this li’l filly?” She’s asking the question with a note of sourness that, if my senses were not being run through pony hardware, I am sure would have totally flown past me.
“Uh Huh!” Cream Puff excitedly says. “Ah came over the other day, an she had one of ma muffins! Then she read ‘Heartshine an Her Mom go ta the Zoo!’”
“Oh. Really, now?” Applejack asks bluntly. In fact, far more bluntly than any pony- any of them, usually would use with a filly Cream Puff’s age. “Ya never read a story ta me...” I swear I hear huffed under her breath.
“What was that A.J.?”
“Nuthin’- Ah mean- Muffin! Why’d ya bring her, uhm... muffins?”
“Ah made them usin’ ma Ma’s recipe an’ H.B. liked them so much, ah though Ah’d bring her some more!”
“Aw, well ain’t that sweet... Ah made her a s’more once... She must’a really like it cause she ate the whole thing. Itdn’t that right, m- H.B.?”
Did she just almost call me-
Cream Puff’s sweet expression droops and her brow furrows. “Well,” She says so tartly that I swear I feel a pucker in my lips. “Ah bet she like ma muffins more on account she ate more than just one. Itdn’t that right, H.B.?”
“Uhm...”
“Maybe she did,” Applejack chuckles. “Buuuut, ah bet ya din’t think ta make her a full on home cooked meal now?”
“Ah would if she’d let me staaay the niiiight!” Cream Puff practically suggestively sings at me.
“Heh. Well, not unless she lets me stay first!” Applejack counter chimes, practically leaning over Cream Puff to give me a kind of creepy smile and a few pleading flutterings of her eyelashes. “Ya did want that Ah come over an help with that there magical emergency fireplace of yers, yeah? Along with that, ah could make ya a couple of dishes that were a favorite of mine when ah was little! If ya thought that grannies spread was sumthin’ when ya stayed at our house back in May, wait till ya taste some of ma mom’s old dishes, they pack a wallop an will fill ya up!”
Cream Puff pops back over the all too close Applejack, smiling a smile that I swear she smiled any harder would almost crack her face. “That’s all well an’ good, but if she’s tasted yer family’s dishes she really outta have a taste of ma Ma’s dishes, her pecan pie an green beans are just the best!“
“Well, green beans an pecan pie are all well an’ fine, but ma mom’s mashed potatoes’n’gravy an apple fritters are even better!”
“Boy! You two really love your mom's recipes!” Gawds, I need this awkward moment of the Apples VS the Puffs to stop! How do I make this stop!? What do I do to make it stop!? Who can I turn to to- Oh right! Duh! “Fluttershy! What do you think that their made their mom’s recipes so great??” Yeah, pffft, if any of the multi-coloured magical equines could diffuse this situation it would be her!
“Eeep! Moms!? I-I don’t know...” Fluttershy stammers abruptly pulled out of whatever was occupying her mind at that particular moment. “W-what was your mother like, H.B.?”
"..." Well, fet... she misheard me. However, there are questions that I have been asked out of the blue that for whatever reason rubbed me the wrong way, and because of Fluttershy’s abrupt question, it’s gotten my brain trying to make connections. Or maybe I’m just trying to find something else to think about rather than face Applejack and Cream Puff vying for my attention like they were my long lost daughters trying to make up for time.
Which is silly because you only have two daughters! Goth Bunny and Pain Hurtzalot!
Shut it, John Delancy sounding voice in my head. Fluttershy asked you a question, and it’s a way to steer away from whatever competition that’s happening between the other two. Though... I’m not really sure how to answer this question. Just then there’s a small pang in my heart as what the pegasi asked me hits. What it would entail to explain what my mother is... was like... Does it count as a ‘was’ if they are still alive in an alternate universe? Do we mourn Schrödinger's cat? Bah, this question is hitting me harder than any question I’ve ever been asked, don’t think there’s ever been a question asked...
No, wait, there's one question that's standing out to me right now that I think about it. What’s more, it does deal with what my mother was like.
It happened when she was still forcing us to go to that fetting- that fucking Seventh-Day Adventist church while they were doing their bible study.
I would spend most of that time drawing in the margins of my notebook that they would have us write tomes upon tomes of scripture and prophecy that they believed was going 'come to pass'.
Whether I realized it or not, those centimeters wide white strips were a comfort to me. I would get lost in recreating M. C. Escher-esque columns and impossible iconography of triangles and endless staircases to escape the pastor droning on about the connection between Dainel chapter whatever and verse who cares. However, all the margins in the world couldn’t protect me from that event...
It was nothing special. The bible study was like any other. As always, a retread of the same verses, so it was just mind numbingly banal and then it ended.
One of the people who did special music; his specialty was magnificently singing in front of the congregation, came up to me, shook my hand, and asked a single simple question.
"How's the world treating you?"
I don't know what it was about that question in particular; the way it was delivered, how firm his grasp was in a moment of actual human contact, his soulful, perhaps sad gaze greeting mine, or maybe it was the subconscious knowledge that maybe, just maybe, the world really wasn't treating me all that well at the time...
Whatever it was... something inside me just began to ache. An ache that was then followed by a break, that in turn gave way to a strange mental breakdown- well, more like a downpour of just... sad emotions. Emotions that were ripping at my heart for seemingly no reason, no purpose, and what did I do?
I gathered myself up the best I could, pushed all those emotions up behind a stilted wall, replied with a meek 'Fine, thank you', before excusing myself to the church's sanctuary before I began to just... cry.
After a few minutes of seemingly unprovoked sobbing, my mother showed up, having realized that I had vanished from sight.
“Hey, it's time to go..." was the only thing I can remember her saying once she found her son kneeling next to the podium of the church sanctuary.
Maybe she didn't see me crying, maybe I was already done and managed to pull myself together before she saw me, or maybe she did see and just didn't care. She did say that it was time to go aft-
"Ya okay there, Sugarcube?"
Snap back to reality and suddenly I'm aware of the three of them staring at me with very concerned expressions.
"U-uhm, y-yeah..." Uh-oh, I nearly choked on that line. Pull it together! That memory wasn't that bad, right?! "W-why ya askin'?"
"Well..." Fluttershy begins. "Uhm-"
"Yer mane an tail went limper than a weepin' willow in July, an yer eyes were wetter than a mud puddle in April!" Cream Puff Sandy Squirrels at me. Lifting a hoof to the normally curly locks, it would appear that, yes they have gone as limp as described.
"Oh! Maybe now we can remove the scrunchies..." Fluttershy suggests, her face attempting to brighten up.
"Ah can do that fer ya!" Cream Puff exclaims.
"Now hol-" Applejack looks like she's about to reach for me, only to stop as Cream Puff quickly removes the mane- hair ties.
As the locks of my mane and tail fall, so does the bright eyed, longing, and... youthful? Yeah, youthful expression on Applejack’s face. I really hope that whatever ‘magic’ or ‘curse’ that’s causing this mixup with me and her lost maternal figure is broken. I mean, I hate putting it that way, but I also hate being at the center of this weirdness.
Fluttershy turns her attention to her quickly wilting friend. "Are you alright?"
Applejack takes more than an uncomfortable second to answer that question before sniffing and wiping her nose. "Y-yeah, Ah'm fine, just fine."
Should I say something? Should I do something? Really, it isn't my fault that any of this is happening, is it? What should I do!?
"Ya don't sound fine..." Thank you, Cream Puff!
"Uhm, y-yeah," Fet, stupid mane. Now it's getting in my face. Gotta push it away... "You know, you don't have ta come with us..."
Applejack shoots me a wide-eyed look of panic that's tinged with a touch of sadness. "Ah said that Ah'm fine!"
"Really, you-"
"Ah'm a big pony, now! An' ya' said that Ah could come with ya, Ma-'' she stops mid-word, before taking a deep breath. "Ah mean, Ah am just loookin' out ta see that ya get ta the hospital safe ‘n sound, seein' ya got hurt on ma farm an all."
I want to tell her that that is sort of a sweet gesture, but it was tainted with that childish sounding mewling.
Sigh.
It would seem that even without the dead mother mane, A.J. is conflating me with a maternal figure... Maybe I should inquire with Cream Puff about pictures of her mother, later of course, much much later, just so that I can avoid any future kerfluffles.
“Are you sure you’re alright, Applejack?” Fluttershy’s doting voice asks. “Didn’t you say that you almost passed out from the heat?”
Wait. The flushed cheeks, the overly sweaty brow, signs of confusion... I swear when I worked at the plastics place and they had their safety meetings, those were things to look for when ascertaining whether or not someone was suffering from- “You had a heat stroke?”
=========
Applejack winced and felt exactly like the time that her Ma caught her climbing a pine that she had been told not to.
‘How in tarnation was ah sposta know there was an aronry hive of yeller jackets up there?!’
“N-noooo,” She replied, sheepishly tapping her hoof against the ground. ‘Ah din’t get it!’ Applejack thought ‘she wouldn’t even win a blue ribbon in a look-a-like contest with ma Ma if even that! Why am Ah feelin’ so gosh dern skittish like this?!’
“Applejack...” Heartbreak said with an almost uncharacteristic touch of parental worry.
“It was nothin’,'' Applejack huffed, rolling her eyes, only to jump and look away the moment that her gaze met with Heartbreak’s wide, sparkly-blue stare. “A-ah just mighta had ta have a sit an’ a drink, an’ a dilly ‘cause Ah might’ave seen a mirage or two...”
‘Ah really hope that didn’t sound none too-’
However, that little thought was swiftly put down by the ever growing concern reaching its wide mouth peak on the tan mare’s face before she raised a hoof to her face and rubbed her face.
“Is that yer way of sayin’ that you were hallucinating, A.J.?” Heartbreak asked panickedly, her hoof dropping and turning over so that the frog was turned skyward, pleading for a better explanation than what was just given. Howeven, when met with silence, it turned back over and dropped to the ground. “Ah really think you ought head back home an’ get some rest.”
“Now hold up! Ah wouldn’t go that far now-”
“A.J.!” Heartbreak exclaimed. There was a moment’s hesitation, an internal conflict that brewed within the creature turned pony that bubbled and brewed in her tightly closed eyes and pursed lips that let out a small squeak as air was forced between them in frustration. “I- look, I get that you’re lookin’ out fer me, but-'' The tan mare shook her messy, sweat-dampened mane from out of her face before pushing up her glasses and walking to the pony that they were addressing, a small pained limp from the burn she had sustained. “-who’s lookin’ out fer you when yer too gosh darn headstrong ta be lookin’ out fer yerself?” She asked, clumsily placing her perforated hoof on Applejack’s shoulder while looking her directly in the eyes.
Applejack shyly looked away before flinching, shaking her head disbelievingly and giving Heartbreak a soured expression. “Says the pony that waited how long before Flutters had ta come an take ya ta the hospital?”
Heartbreak pulled her hoof back and proceeded to rub the side of her leg in startled embarrassment. “Alright, maybe I’m not the one to talk, but that doesn’t mean that you should be followin’ my example!”
Applejack’s ears drooped under her hat. “Ah’m just-... It’s just...- Ah wanted to talk about..-”
“Ah know...” Heartbreak drawled before clearing her throat. “I know.” She took a deep, almost labored breath. “But, please, Applejack, for both our sakes. Go home. Rest in a cool place, and fer fet’s sake, hydrate!”
“But Ah-”
“Please, Applejack, we’ll talk about...” Heartbreak repeated. She paused and her hoof was drawn to her temple which she proceeded to rub. “Everything that happened here.. Ya know... when there’s less corn around?”
“Less... Corn?” Applejack mouthed as Heartbreak made shifting eyes in Cream Puff’s direction. The less than subtle realization dawned on her. “A-alright...” She said, conceding that ‘yes, maybe she ought to get to a cooler place, especially seeing that there was more sweat threatening to fall off her brow.’ “Ya promise we’ll talk later?”
“Yes, I promise,” Heartbreak said, her caring persona almost slipping. “Now, please, go back home.”
Applejack’s ears fell and if one was looking, they would swear that there was a quiver in her lip. “A-alright...” She said bitterly before turning around to head back to the farm.
Heartbreak gave a quiet sigh, and dug her hoof into the ground pensively before turning to look at the soberly sauntering apple pony. “Uhm... Applejack?”
“Hmmm?”Applejack’s ears perked as she looked in the direction of her name.
“Uhm... Thanks... once again. For the save back there. You know, with the fire ants and everything...” Heartbreak fumbled while momentarily rubbing her unburned leg and then proceeding to push her glasses up.
“Oh... Heh, yer welcome.” Applejack replied, smiling a little bit more.
“We’ll see ya sometime soon, m’kay?” Heartbreak asked, turning to rejoin Fluttershy and Cream Puff.
“M’kay then, Ah’ll see ya soon...” Applejack said, a part of her still reluctant to leave, not wanting to say goodbye, hesitant to- “Ah love ya, ma...”
With those five little words there was a cold silence that sliced through the sweltering summer heat.
Applejack quickly took off the stetson hat off the top her head. She hadn’t meant to say that! It just slipped out! A flush of hot, embarrassment coursed through her cheeks, maybe they didn't hear her.
‘Maybe Ah oughta repeat maself,’ came a momentary intrusive thought. ‘What!? Have ya dun gone an’ been hittin’ the hard cider?! Course ya shouldn’t repeat-”
“Did you say something?” Heartbreak asked, a look of bewilderment lingering on her face.
“Uh- No. No. No! Ah didn’t say nothin’!” she blurted out, quickly slamming her hat back on her head. “Ah gotta make it back home now! Ah’ll see ya’ll later then!”
With that, Applejack picked up her pace down the dirt road that led back home.
“What in the sam hill was that about?” Cream Puff asked innocently.
“N-nothing...” Heartbreak muttered glancing at Fluttershy with unease in her eyes. “Nothin’ important.”
“Huh...” Cream Puff said, her normally sweet face sporting a furrowed brow.
“Is there something wrong?” Fluttershy asked, anxious concern fluttering in her wingtips.
“Oh! No! No... Everythang’s alright!” Cream Puff said, the expression on her face giving way to a beaming, almost forced smile.
Heartbreak could only sigh and roll her eyes at the whole ordeal. “Come on, let’s get to the hospital and get this all over with, already...”
=========
As the two parties morosely parted ways, the patch of earth that they departed from mounded up. When the last of the vibrations of clip-clopping pony hooves were distant enough, that’s when Mr. Mole’s head popped out.
“Well...” he began, hopping out and shaking the dirt off his head with his large hand-like paws. “That didn’t go according to Mr. Angel Bunny’s plan, now did it?” He asked, only to be met with a cold, angry stare as the rabbit bounced out of the pit, landing right in front of the diminutive mole.
“M-Mr. Mole didn’t mean anything by that, Angel-Bunny, Sir!” Mr. Mole stammered, pulling away, his reaction more to the angry thumps rather than the way that Angel intimidatingly towered over him.
“Hmph...” Angel grunted, shaking the charred smelling earth off himself. “Mr. Mole did as I, Angel-Bunny, instructed. It was not his fault that there were unexpected variables that interrupted the plan...” he begrudgingly admitted before crossing his little arms and staring at the ground in frustration.
“Variables?” Mr. Mole asked, scratching the side of his head with a single finger. “Does Angel-Bunny mean the sudden cold hard ground in the middle of the hot season of Anaitat?” He shook his head and chucked his tongue. “Not even all mighty Roo-Part Har-Vee could’ve seen that coming’... And he was the greatest mole with the greatest sight, he was!”
Angel grimaced at the strange names used. He almost found himself about to ask ‘who’, but mentally stopped himself. The various intricacies of the beliefs of moles were hardly important at this moment.
“All those poor fat grubs and wriggly worms!” Mr. Mole began to lament, his tiny eyes sparkling with a single tear. “Flash frozen before us moles even had a chance to tuck into them!” he sniffled. “Now instead, when they come to thaw, they’ll be all limp and goopy, maybe even come to rot!”
“Yeaah, such a shame...” Angel replied, having to push down the repulsive image that had been described to him with a far more important detail. “I, Angel-bunny, was referring more to the way the apple pony was reacting to that... thing...”
“Oh.. Yeah. That.” Mr. Mole said, snapping out of his lamentation for all those arthropods and annelida lives lost. Before his family and he had a chance to sup upon them, of course. “Mr. Mole has to say that it was mighty strange that the apple pony sped off after that thing, it was. Last time Mr. Mole saw any creature dart off after something like that, t’was Mrs Mole finding out that one of them nasty foxes was after our eldest. He might be old enough ta burrow on his own, but Mr. Mole’s wife will always see ‘im as one of our pups...”
Angel continued to frown before tapping his chin thoughtfully. The mole chattered too much, but had interverently brought up a good point. “The apple pony did refer to that ... thing as ‘Ma’ several times...”
Mr. Mole’s eyes widened as far as they could. “Angel-Bunny doesn’t think that that thing is the long lost mother of them apple ponies??”
Angel smacked his little bunny beans against his face. “Highly unlikely, Mr. Mole.” he stroked his chin. “That thing must be able to alter the perceptions of others. The Apple Pony only thinks that the thing is mother.”
“That is down right rather horrid of it, if Mr. Mole says so...” He replied, his brow furrowing. “Such a... monstrosity should be dragged into the light and destroyed for such a crime!”
“And just what would Fluttershy-pony say to such plottings?” A familiar, sly voice asked as two yellow eyes reflected predatorily from the underbrush before a blur of orange and white practically lept right in front of the two conspiring critters!
Angel felt an involuntary surge of instinct fighting to force a scream from his throat and several brutal kicks to the face of this sure to be vicious predator- this feeling, however upon seeing whom it was, quickly evaporated.
“Foxiekins...” The rabbit grumbled, picking himself up and once more dusting off any efferent dirt or dust. “What are you doing here?”
“Fox?!” Mr. Mole squeaked, frantically looking about. “Where?! Where? O-Oh, Mr. Mole has had enough excitement for today, that he has! He an’ his family both, what with the fire ants an’ living cracks! Mr. Angel-Bunny, Mr. Mole wishes this had been a pleasure, but we’re afraid that the mole clave must be off to looser soil! Good day!”
With that, Mr. Mole dove towards his recently dug out hole- or what he thought was the dug out hole, but instead of finding the safety of rich, dark, damp, loamy soil between his fingers, he found a face full of ... fluffy apt irritatingly itchy fur with a slight musky tang to it. Accompanied with the foul, hot, moist breath of what was most certainly a predator.
“O-oh... Mr. Fox... How, uh.. Fantastic to see you out and about.” Mr. Mole gulped before proceeding to blindly dig down, leaving Foxiekins with a beard of dirt.
“Well...” Purred a voice from the treetops as Foxiekins shook the dirt beard from his face. “Mr. Mole did not seem suspicious in the least...”
“And Tux-cat...” Angel nearly growled. Well, growled the best that any rabbit of his stature could. “Just what are the both of you doing here?”
“I, Foxiekins, could ask the same of Angel-Bunny, because to these big fluffy foxy ears, Mr. Mole seemed to be calling for some creature's demise... Which is frowned upon by the rules of the Ovid...”
“Yeeeah...” Tux-Cat said, slinking past despite there being a hitch in his backgate. The feline made sure that the white tip of his tail tickled the bunny rabbit’s nose. He then proceeded to pause and looked at Foxiekins, his ears flicking back in confusion. “Wait, really?”
Foxiekins frowned, looking back at the black and white feline before applying a black paw of his own to his face. “Right, I, Foxiekins, forgot. Meow-stop-leaves are from a land of giant hairless cats that walk on their hinds.”
Before Tux-Cat could respond, Angel irritatedly cleared his throat to interrupt the beginning of such a truly fascinating conversation.
“I, Angel-Bunny, repeat: what are the two of you doing here?”
“Well...’ Foxiekins reflexively came to sit at attention. Angel might have been a bunny, but he was still a bunny who held sway over the pony that was currently sheltering him. His stomach grumbled as if to remind him, that said pony also fed him. “Tux-cat and I, Foxiekins, were curious to see where Fluttershy-pony was and how soon she would return for the next meal.”
“Oh, are you now?” Angel asked, attempting to cover any fear that he could be subconsciously displaying...
“Oh, yes,” Foxiekins replied, sniffing the air, his orange-slitted eyes narrowing in on Angel... “Though, seeing that Tux-cat and I, Foxiekins, just missed Fluttershy-pony passing this way, perhaps the both of us should return to the cottage before she returns... Right, Tux-cat?” He hinted at his feline companion.
Tux-cat took a moment before what the fox said to sink in. “Oh! Right! We should get back to the cottage... Before Fluttershy-pony returns... So...” He paused looking questioningly at his vulpine comrad. “We can... tell her very interesting things... about Angel-Bunny?” He gaffed.
Foxiekins smacked his face with a paw and let out a growl that called Tux-cat an idiot. “Never mind! Fluttershy-Pony went that way!”
Foxiekins and Tux-Cat turned to bolt in the direction they could smell Fluttershy’s scent. However, just as quickly as they had started their mad dash, they found themselves coming to a full stop. For as if by magic, Angel appeared in front of them.
The rabbit had his little arms crossed, his head smugly tilted ever so slightly, and a slow thump in his large back foot.
“So what if Angel-Bunny is faster! Tux-cat and Foxiekins can still tell Fluttershy-pony about what happened!” Foxiekins said walking past.
Angel’s cool demeanor cracked for a moment before he gave a small chuckle. ”Seeing that Foxiekins is so hungry, maybe he might visit Belindia in the hen house... again...”
The fox stopped in his tracks and turned sharply, a worried and mildly shocked expression could be read in the folding of his ears.
“Foxiekins has no idea about what Angel-Bunny is talking about.” He balked, trying to pull himself out of being intimidated by a bunny, a bunny of all animals!
“Then, I, Angel-Bunny, did not see a fox coming out of the henhouse some time last week muzzle dripping with egg?” Angel asked accusingly.
“That... That could have been any fox!” Foxiekins protested, turning his face in a defensive half-snarl.
“Then Foxiekins is covering for a random fox pilfering from Fluttershy-Pony’s hen house?” Angel coyly asked while extending a front paw to nonchalantly examine his claws.
“Why is Foxiekins letting Angel-Bunny threaten him like this?” Tux-cat asked as the fox began to cower. “Where Meow-stop-leaves is from, the tall hairless cats would sooner eat them than listen to empty bluster!” he said, attempting to slink by.
“Angel-Bunny sees that Tux-cat is keeping up the state of being ‘unadoptable’.” The rabbit sneered, crossing his arms once more while slowly thumping his hindfoot.
“Unadoptable?” Tux-cat repeated snidely. “What is Angel-Bunny babbling about?” he asked, hesitantly keeping one paw in the air.
“Well, it’s just...” Angel started, hopping over to the feline, looking him up and down, stretching up on his back legs and peering into his left ear.
“It’s just what?!” Tux-cat spat.
“It’s just that if ‘Meow-stop-leaves’ keeps going on talking about a land of giant hairless cats, ponies might see him as..” Angel paused and tapped a small finger on his chin. “How to put this? ‘Special needs?” He condescendingly asked, making quotation marks in the air.
Tux-Cat’s ears folded and his tail hung low at this thought, before he chuffed and bawled. “Maybe Angel-Bunny is the one who is ‘special needs’! The ponies can not even understand common ovid!”
“Angel’s Fluttershy can,” The rabbit quipped. “And even if a pony adopts Tux-Cat, they can learn to understand him.”
Tux-cat’s tail puffed in fear. It hadn’t occurred to him that the ponies could learn to understand him.
“Of course, they may not know what Tux-cat is talking about for some time, but who knows where they would be at that time?” Angel asked, a malfacent furrow in his brow. “Maybe not Ponyville where Angel-Bunny’s sweet Fluttershy-pony can take him back in...”
“Then Tux-cat simply won't get adopted by a pony!” He hissed defensively. “‘Meow-Stop-Leaves is a felide! We are the purrfect hunters!” He asserted, putting a paw to his chest fluff in pride, before turning to walk away. “We will survive in the wilds, if we have to!”
“Purrfect hunter...” Angel said, rolling his eyes.He was about to gesture to Foxiekins in a way that might call into question who the better of two hunters was, when he noticed something about the ‘felidia's’ gate that looked off... Something that caused a most sinister grin to form on the rabbit’s face.
Quick as lightning, Angel swiftly lept to where the Tux-cat was and with one solid motion placed a stick he had snatched in front of their hind leg, causing the cat to stumble and fall in a most undignified way.
“How dare-” The black and white cat spat, turning with claws extended only to find himself face to face with the piercing black bunny eyes staring him down.
“Purrfect hunter, Tux-cat says?” Angel grunted. “I, Angel-Bunny, am very sure that other cats are. However, they most certainly do not have wobbly back legs.”
Tux-cat’s pupils widened. “Meow-stop-”
“A condition that would not only be a hindrance in ‘the wilds’ but completely lethal...” Angel assured, narrowing his gaze upon the poor cat even further. “Any other animal could see Tux-cat’s weakness. A bear, a hawk, a snake, a large owl, or a wolf could come along and then... snap!” he cried, breaking the stick in half before tossing it aside. “No more Mr. Meow-Stop-Leaves.”
Tux-Cat’s eyes widened, his pupils dilating to their fullest as his ears pinned back.
“I, Angel-Bunny, am just trying to protect both Tux-Cat and Foxiekins and look out for their best interests,” he said, condescendingly patting the feline on the cheek.
The quick white paws righted themselves to the ground as the body they were attached to fretfully slunk back over to their black-footed fox friend
Angel crossed his arms, yet again. “Maybe the fantastic Mr. Foxiekins and magical Mr. Meow-stop-leaves can stay out of trouble back at the cottage, then, both Fluttershy-pony and I, Angel-Bunny, can keep looking out for them. Keeping them both in a warm, safe, dry place with plenty of food,” he said, punctuating his vaguest of threats with a stomping of his hind foot, crushing the twig on the ground into smaller fragments.
Foxiekins and Tux-cat said nothing, but turned back and quietly went back tracking down the path that would lead to the cottage.
Once the two were out of sight, then and only then did Angel drop his stern, stiff façade and let out an exasperated sigh.
‘That takes care of that,” he thought. However, just as he was about to relax, there came a snapping in the branches above him! Ears swiveling, he could make out the sound of tiny claws scraping on the tree bark.
He quickly acted against this interloper by doing what always worked, a few dozen rapid, sharp thumps, this time squarely and precisely aimed at just the right spot on the offending tree’s trunk!
“Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Knock it off!” squeaked out a panicked voice before another series of kicks forced the intruder from their spying spot, and to Angel’s lack of surprise it was none other than-
“Rat.”
The brown rodent with a scruffy mop of curly fur atop his head rubbed the side of his ratty hanches before shrinking himself of the dizziness that came with his tumble.
“Heeeey, Angel-” Rat began, one of his yellow eyes winking at the white lagomorph. “-Bunny!” He finished, clicking his tongue and using his tiny paws to make ‘finger guns’.
Angel stared at the rodent annoyed that he’d once again have to repeat his question. “What is Rat doing here?”
Rat huffed and returned the glare. “Rat was bored, so I- uh, he followed those two maze-heads- to make sure they did not get into any trouble they could not get themselves out of.”
Angel’s eyes narrowed incredulously “Really now?”
“Hey, hey, hey!” Rat protested, throwing his claws into the air. “Rat did not see anything in regards to Angel-Bunny’s scheming- that is to say if Angel-Bunny was scheming at all! Rat only heard what Angel-Bunny used to send Foxiekins and Tux-cat scampering back to the cottage...”
“What I, Angel-Bunny, ?”
“Rat is a rat,” He coyly said. “Even if Rat is a fancy canterlot rat, he still knows a scheme when he smells one.”
Angel held his little arms a bow to his sides and looked narrowly at the rodent, quizzically analyzing every whisker twitch, every tail flinch, every little twittering of those little teeth, every clawed-finger wiggle...
“...Uhm...” Rat hesitantly squeaked out.
“Alright, I, Angel-Bunny, believe Rat.”
“Wait, Angel-Bunny does?” Rat asked, whiskers a twitch.
“Yes, after all, ‘Rat is rat’. Even if I, Angel-Bunny, were scheming something, and he’s most certainly not, Rat would have little or nothing to gain by telling others,” Angel put his paws on rats little furry shoulders almost menacingly. “Would not want to rock the boat or upset the status quo...”
Rat jumped away, his teeth almost beared in instinct at this minor threat before he calmed himself. ‘Angel-Bunny might be acting all brave and in charge out here, but he would still cow to Fluttershy-pony’ he told himself.
“Right, Rat would never do that, he likes his life just fine for the time being...”
“That’s what I, Angel-Bunny like hearing.” The rabbit said, dusting himself off and turning back towards the burrowing hole that Mr. Mole had left behind, an air of smugness on his face. “Now, if Rat does not mind. I, Angel-Bunny have matters to attend to elsewhere.” He said, before diving down the hole.
Angel stood still in the slightly damp dirt tunnel that was a pony’s arm length under Rat. Even though he was this far down underground, with his superior hearing, he could just make out the rattled chiffering wuffles.
‘Good, he is scared. Animals talk when they’re scared,’ Angel thought as he honed in on that little ratty voice.
“Yes, Rat is rat, and Rat would not do anything that would upset the status quo... No matter what creature it hurts... though... Tippetarius might have... Especially if it hurt some... pony... Too bad ‘Rat is rat,’” he squeaked sadly, his small paw prints now scurrying away.
Angel narrowed his eyes and mulled over all this.
He hated the fact that the tiny brown lump was right about him needing to be more... rat-like in his machinations to rid his sweet, precious, pure Fluttershy of that thing that had intruded in on their lives.
What he hated more was that unlike Foxiekins or Tux-cat he didn’t have anything he could definitely use on him.
‘Well, not yet anyway...’ he thought, bounding down the tunnel.